Fantozzi Alla Riscossa

en
00:00:21 FANTOZZI STRIKES BACK
00:00:27 Translated by Cristina V. Dumitrescu
00:01:39 In April of every year, selections were made
00:01:46 Selections were made based on recommendations.
00:01:51 Threats and blackmails towards elimination of potential adversaries.
00:01:56 All of these initiated and continued
00:02:02 Bastard and Jerk,
00:02:06 Remember gentlemen, to always be dishonest.
00:02:12 To be disloyal to your colleagues.
00:02:16 Not to have disinterested friendships.
00:02:21 You must use blackmail.
00:02:26 Flatter as much as possible.
00:02:33 Only like this, you will succeed.
00:02:42 If you do not follow these rules,
00:02:55 Fantozzi !
00:03:10 The retired Fantozzi was called
00:03:27 For how many years have you been under our rule ?
00:03:31 For ever, I was born an employee.
00:03:35 - How did you start ?
00:03:42 - You didn't do anything special to deserve more ?
00:03:47 For example, did you ever prostitute yourself to further your career ?
00:03:54 Not even a small bribe, nothing ?
00:04:00 You didn't spy at all ?
00:04:04 At least an anonymous letter.
00:04:09 I wrote one once.
00:04:16 And what happened ?
00:04:20 I was crucified in the meeting room.
00:04:22 - Why ?
00:04:31 - If you are brave, tell them !
00:04:35 I'll tell, but what should I say ?
00:04:37 That you are a s.....
00:04:41 I am a stump !
00:04:45 - You are a sh......
00:04:49 Don't drive me crazy.
00:04:53 Say that you are a sh.....
00:04:59 - You are a sh.....
00:05:26 I am a shit !
00:06:24 Pina ! Pina !
00:06:27 - But what are you doing, Ugo ?
00:06:31 Flush !
00:06:33 But the release came from an unexpected person .
00:06:38 His niece Uga. Every Friday,
00:06:45 They had more free time.
00:07:14 Are you the grandfather ?
00:07:17 - Which one is yours ?
00:07:25 - What do you think ? That one is my granddaughter.
00:07:30 You know, they are all so much alike...
00:07:35 Yes, all....
00:07:42 A toad, a snake.
00:07:49 - Hello !
00:07:53 - No, no it isn't.
00:07:56 She said : no, no !
00:08:02 She isn't... my girl.
00:08:18 - Grandfather, I'm hot.
00:08:30 You see that ?
00:08:34 - I want to tell him something.
00:08:41 Listen to me, where are you going ?
00:08:54 Help, help !
00:08:59 - Where is she ?
00:09:02 - My daughter, the ballerina !
00:09:07 Her name is Ughina.
00:09:10 Who the heck are you ?
00:09:15 What a pretty girl !
00:09:19 Give her an invitation.
00:09:22 Uga is a pretty girl.
00:09:27 I never though that....
00:09:32 - Cold soup with rice.
00:09:35 I've been thinking that the girl
00:09:41 He told me I am beautiful
00:09:45 She is not like Shirley Temple,
00:09:49 You remember that black one, Arnold,
00:09:53 They said he was a midget
00:09:58 - That is a monster, Ugo !
00:10:06 School will also be a problem.
00:10:09 She has already repeated
00:10:13 And in the studio environment, there is
00:10:18 I've been wishing to lose
00:10:27 I want the girl to have
00:10:31 - What did you miss, Ugo ?
00:10:36 Life didn't give me anything.
00:10:41 Instead of living as I did until now
00:10:47 I could have become a different man.
00:10:51 To have money, fancy cars.
00:10:56 The girl is not mine, she's not yours.
00:11:01 Of course I agree,
00:11:07 I can't hear you because your daughter
00:11:11 Stop !
00:11:14 I have to let you go,
00:11:19 How is Ughina ?
00:11:24 Fantozzi started taking action.
00:11:28 Look !
00:11:34 - How do I look, grandfather ?
00:11:40 - You can't see my granddaughter's body.
00:11:46 You're right, it's better like this.
00:11:51 You know, I am a bit worried.
00:11:56 - Nothing to worry about.
00:12:01 - All this will change my life.
00:12:06 - Excuse me, what is this thing ?
00:12:15 Don't move, smile !
00:12:23 What happened ? Did you take it ?
00:12:29 - I don't know.
00:12:58 - Keep all the little girls here.
00:13:02 Faster, hurry up.
00:13:06 - Everybody inside, maestro.
00:13:10 This not, this not.
00:13:15 There she is !
00:13:19 Leave. Get all the girls out.
00:13:23 Come with us.
00:13:29 - You are this thing's parents ?
00:13:37 Wait, I'm the grandfather.
00:13:46 I'm the girl's grandfather.
00:13:49 - This is the standard contract.
00:13:53 - You must sign for the minor.
00:13:56 - Excuse me. I'm here if you would like to ...
00:14:01 - They are the photographers.
00:14:05 - I'm not signing anything in this darkness.
00:14:16 What are you doing there, madam ?
00:14:24 - And me, what should I write here ?
00:14:31 You know that little square with stars ?
00:14:35 Write : grandfather of the actress and accountant
00:14:40 Fine, Mr. Fantocci !
00:14:43 We don't need to replace her
00:14:46 What do you mean dangerous ?
00:14:51 Now what, you want to back out ?
00:14:59 To write Ugo Fantozzi !
00:15:03 Come on because we start filming, Ugo !
00:15:07 What's the movie name ?
00:15:10 Planet of the Apes, part five.
00:15:15 The planet... is part of a series...
00:15:19 - Mama ! I'm hungry !
00:15:29 Our granddaughter must play
00:15:35 No, no... our monkey,
00:15:40 Which monkey ? It's the monkey's daughter.
00:15:45 It's a cross.
00:15:50 - Is the food ready ?
00:15:55 I'm hungry, mom!
00:16:01 What are you doing ?
00:16:04 How dare you ?
00:16:10 Let me explain.
00:16:15 I am going to go to the Society for the Protection of the Animals.
00:16:20 How is this possible, Pina ?
00:16:27 You ruin all my success.
00:16:30 Success at your little girl's expense.
00:16:35 How is that ?
00:16:39 What's wrong, grandmother ?
00:16:43 My grandmother is crying because I don't want to continue.
00:16:49 Grandfather, why aren't I smart ?
00:16:52 You are very smart,
00:16:57 You would have been perfect for that role.
00:17:07 I want you to grow up as a normal girl.
00:17:15 Give a paw, give a hand...
00:17:26 Another reason for outrage,
00:17:46 Excuse me !
00:17:50 Pina, Pina !
00:17:58 Employee Paoletti from house no. 7.
00:18:12 Pina, an important message for you.
00:18:16 Your husband was named civil judge. Did you hear ?
00:18:19 Pina, you are the wife of a civil judge.
00:18:26 This is a process against the mob.
00:18:35 You know this could be an imprudence.
00:18:38 Imprudence is bringing down this country.
00:18:43 Come on, let me help you.
00:18:49 Do you know where the wigs are ?
00:19:06 Who knows anything about wigs ?
00:19:12 I meant to say...
00:19:19 It's dangerous to go to court against the mafia.
00:19:24 I know this. But I want all this to be over.
00:19:35 What the hell are you doing ?
00:19:40 I'll show you.
00:19:45 Where is it ?
00:19:49 I'll put it all back right away.
00:19:54 - Stop...
00:19:59 Wait, stop !
00:20:14 Hello !
00:20:17 Excuse me !
00:20:22 Mortacci Ugo !
00:20:27 - How did you decorate yourself ?
00:20:31 Fantozzi's decorations :
00:20:34 A magistrat's robe,
00:20:37 An English judge's wig
00:20:44 A balance with two plates
00:20:49 Go upstairs with the others.
00:20:53 What do you call this? Miss Italy style
00:21:02 Illustrious colleagues... In the name of the state,
00:21:10 Mafia's power is great.
00:21:14 Only combined forces
00:21:24 I invite you to an exercise
00:21:30 Do you agree ?
00:21:35 - What are you doing ? Going in or not ?
00:21:41 - Where should I sit ?
00:21:53 In the name of the law, I want to inform you
00:21:58 that here the mafia will be disassembled.
00:22:20 Let's start the meeting.
00:22:39 Let the defendants in !
00:22:51 Quiet, move it !
00:23:03 Simmer down, stop !
00:23:08 Who are the defendant leaders ?
00:23:12 Compare before this court,
00:23:16 Trinacri Asaro aka Sweetname.
00:23:21 Mesini Salvatori aka Killmother.
00:23:24 They are accused of complicity
00:23:29 Bodily harm.
00:23:34 Cannibalism and other penal infractions.
00:23:40 Did you hear ?
00:23:46 You're not getting intimidated by this ?
00:24:20 Pina !
00:24:25 - Did you see how wonderful it is, Ugo ?
00:24:28 We also have a sicilian baby carriage.
00:24:32 Who sent all these ?
00:24:39 Dear Mr. judge Fantozzo,
00:24:46 Signed, a group of friends !
00:24:50 What the hell are you doing, Pina ?
00:24:54 They got the wrong address.
00:24:58 They didn't understand that judge Fantozzi
00:25:04 Even if they send to my home,
00:25:11 - Even this type of pasta ?
00:25:17 Stand aside ! I cannot be bought
00:25:25 I'll show them who I am !
00:25:31 Starting today, they will understand what I mean.
00:25:36 Isn't it so that I am a real civil judge ?
00:25:40 They'll see who I am.
00:25:48 Thanks for preparing my bath, Pina.
00:25:52 Attention, Ugo !
00:26:04 Stand aside, let me throw it here.
00:26:11 Mama mia, what pain !
00:26:16 O God, mama mia, what pain !
00:26:28 Fantozzi's acquaintance !
00:26:31 - You're messing up !
00:26:34 - You're not very popular.
00:26:37 Judge Fantozzi, is popular.
00:26:42 In the house there is an offer waiting for you
00:26:46 Who can't turn it down ?
00:26:52 Where are the gifts ?
00:26:57 - Do you like it, Ugo ?
00:27:00 Get it off quickly !
00:27:04 - It must be burned !
00:27:12 Finished.
00:27:17 It was from Mrs. Canto,
00:27:23 I think it was synthetic
00:27:31 - I'll pay for it.
00:27:36 - How much does it cost ?
00:27:41 There go 20 million.
00:27:46 OK, we'll pay for it.
00:27:52 But I still get the satisfaction
00:27:58 with any gift.
00:28:02 - Honestly Ugo, they sent you another gift.
00:28:08 - But only one ?
00:28:14 - Take at least this, they'll get upset...
00:28:18 You know they are jerks.
00:28:23 - What did you say they are ?
00:28:28 Nobody can accuse me of being
00:28:36 What are you saying, Ugo ?
00:28:40 - Eat it, it will refresh you.
00:28:52 What is this ?
00:29:06 This was the gift
00:29:12 Imbecils !
00:29:16 I'll break him !
00:29:28 - Destroy him !
00:29:33 Let me !
00:29:37 - What are you looking for ?
00:29:44 You'll see....
00:29:52 Nothing happened.
00:29:57 - A mixer, something..
00:30:15 Excuse me, this is a gift from
00:30:37 The honourable society went from
00:30:44 Knowing that Fantozzi, after commissar
00:30:49 They put in his bed
00:30:54 A live octopus !
00:31:02 Stop it, Pina !
00:31:07 What got into you ? Stop.
00:31:11 What's going on in your head ?
00:31:17 You're amazing !
00:31:26 What a surprise, Pina !
00:31:32 Pi... Pi...
00:31:36 Are you here ?
00:31:40 Yes, Ugo, I'm standing guard !
00:31:45 So then, with whom was I...
00:31:51 My God....
00:31:59 No....
00:32:03 What's going on with me ?
00:32:07 I have become an aquatic sexual maniac !
00:32:13 No. I should say,
00:32:22 In this process, it's nothing serious.
00:32:29 Excuse me, how could it be a suicide,
00:32:34 Suicide, a contorsionist....
00:32:37 Did you hear ?
00:32:42 I don't worry about it anymore. I'm afraid
00:32:46 That they finish off my wife.
00:32:50 It means they don't stop
00:32:55 - I was violated yesterday evening.
00:32:58 That's why I accepted to keep going.
00:33:02 I was violated. Once,
00:33:07 Four times, five times, six,
00:33:14 But didn't you consider taking a
00:33:23 I could break, but I will not give up.
00:33:28 Did you see how much ....
00:33:35 I present you your new colleagues.
00:33:40 They will replace our deceased colleagues.
00:33:47 The other quit inexplicably
00:33:51 - What do you mean inexplicabile ?
00:34:01 I confess that I am terrorized.
00:34:06 I fear for Ughina.
00:34:11 I was thinking that you could keep in the house a gorilla,
00:34:19 What is this ?
00:34:29 - Watch out so it doesn't run away !
00:34:34 Get her on the trunk !
00:34:39 - Help ! Put me down !
00:34:44 - You violate her !
00:34:50 - Help, father ?
00:34:54 - I can't take this anymore.
00:34:59 - We have to violate somebody, what do we do ?
00:35:05 Yes, you're right.
00:35:10 Mariangela went home untouched.
00:35:15 He took as an escort, a night security guard.
00:35:20 He proofed his car with six tons of iron.
00:35:25 But his path took him over catacombs...
00:35:38 Judgement day finally arrived.
00:35:43 - Guilty ?
00:35:47 - My opinion is that they are not guilty.
00:35:54 The potter deals with dirt.
00:35:58 I find them innocent too.
00:36:03 They are white as doves.
00:36:07 - What doves, they killed ....
00:36:13 - Isn't that true ?
00:36:17 - As you wish. They are innocent.
00:36:21 Four of them say they are innocent.
00:36:25 It is four against four.
00:36:30 If they are freed, who will violate me from now on ?
00:36:38 You are the one that can change the verdict.
00:36:44 Say : guilty or not?
00:36:51 Who ?
00:36:57 - They are innocent.
00:37:02 Then who killed that man in that bar ?
00:37:06 Answer !
00:37:11 It was me. I confess !
00:37:19 I admit to everything. I set the bomb.
00:37:41 After six months in jail,
00:37:46 He was diagnozed with a mental instability.
00:37:56 Ciao, Ugo !
00:37:59 As such, Pina marched him to the insurance hospital.
00:38:16 - Excuse me, where is the bathroom ?
00:38:40 That's ok.
00:38:48 What is his disease ? He looks pale.
00:39:01 Excuse me ! Where is this office ?
00:39:05 - Good afternoon, professor !
00:39:11 - I came to ...
00:39:15 - Well, Mr. Fantossi !
00:39:19 What was that, Mr. Fantossi ?
00:39:24 - Where should I... ?
00:39:30 - Everything is better now. Right ?
00:39:37 - Why aren't you looking at me ?
00:39:42 Relax, be brave !
00:39:48 - So say, Mr. Barierozzi...
00:39:52 - I'm 52 years old.
00:39:56 Now, tell me everything that is on your mind.
00:40:03 - You're practically alone.
00:40:10 - So me... everything that's on my mind ?
00:40:17 The doctor wrote three notebooks.
00:40:21 Fantozzi confessed all the intimate details of his life.
00:40:26 Even his height complex.
00:40:30 You can get up.
00:40:37 But all these people ...
00:40:41 After I've told you everything,
00:40:47 - What, I didn't understand ?
00:40:51 - He said he is a piece of shit.
00:40:57 - But others called me this word.
00:41:03 I will take your advice, and when I leave here
00:41:12 That is the last thing that you should do.
00:41:15 You shouldn't take revenge.
00:41:20 To accept who you are.
00:41:24 But in this way, I will never succeed
00:41:30 - You don't have an inferiority complex.
00:41:35 You ARE... inferior !
00:41:41 Bravo !
00:41:48 Fantozzi was pondering over the psychiatrist's advice.
00:41:56 He found someone to teach him how to become a true lion !
00:42:04 Who is the asshole who is disturbing me ?
00:42:09 I'm the accountant that must
00:42:14 get his diploma for your course.
00:42:17 - Come here !
00:42:27 - Salut !
00:42:31 Start the course !
00:42:36 It was a hooligan that stayed behind in Italy since '90.
00:42:39 Rejected even by his mother land,
00:42:43 He flourishes his talent by giving courses of agression.
00:42:47 And violence.
00:42:50 - I took out everything.
00:42:54 - Why an ass ?
00:42:58 Yes, that's true.
00:43:01 Your clothes disgust me !
00:43:04 - Excuse me, wait !
00:43:07 Take off this white shirt and the tie
00:43:11 - Everything, naked you are even more disgusting.
00:43:14 - But you tore my pants ...
00:43:18 Aia, oi, oi, oi oi....
00:43:22 What a terrible pain.
00:43:26 Ok !
00:43:30 Come !
00:43:33 - Wonderful !
00:43:38 - What did you write here? You can't make it out.
00:43:42 - Only you will understand it.
00:43:46 Every morning when you look yourself in the mirror
00:43:49 I love Fantozzi.
00:43:53 Excuse me Dr. Urican, but....
00:43:57 There's a small mistake. My name
00:44:00 It's Fantozzi !
00:44:04 - Yes, double 'Z'.
00:44:08 That's true, that's true.
00:44:16 - Ok. Are you ready ?
00:44:19 - To fix the mistake.
00:44:23 I love myself as Fantocci !
00:44:26 - My name is really Fantocci !
00:44:32 - Excuse me, you don't have a box, a bathroom... ?
00:44:36 I'm ready to explode.
00:44:40 - Keep it shut !
00:44:45 Excuse me for a moment !
00:44:50 Where did you go ?
00:44:54 I'm here, reading something
00:44:57 I must write you a few notes ...
00:45:02 Aia, aa... just a moment !
00:45:08 To extract... the mutilated out of here ...
00:45:12 Remember I told you it was like that ...
00:45:17 - Come on !
00:45:21 Now let's see if there is anything else ...
00:45:39 - Lesson number one.
00:45:43 You're going to go inside that store.
00:45:46 - You will steal a stereo.
00:45:49 Steal a big portable one.
00:45:53 - And you couldn't get it fixed ... ?
00:45:56 Have a beer to get courage,
00:46:01 Should I drink a beer too... ?
00:46:08 - What is it now ?
00:46:12 Am I going to be ok ?
00:46:17 But who cares ?
00:46:22 - You go in. I'll be here.
00:46:25 I have to go alone. I'm going.
00:46:30 - Shit.
00:46:34 I'm tipsy, Dr. Hooligan.
00:46:51 Look at him ! A hardcore theft.
00:46:55 - Let's go !
00:47:00 And you thought I wasn't practical ?
00:47:07 - Let's get out of here !
00:47:10 - You stopped the engine !
00:47:14 You forgot your warranty, receipt and change.
00:47:18 Do you want the transaction copy too?
00:47:20 What are you doing ?
00:47:24 - The had a big sale.
00:47:28 Yes, mister, there are also two bonus batteries included.
00:47:31 - There are two bonus batteries.
00:47:35 - Eat !
00:47:45 The lessons for property vandalization
00:47:48 lasted a whole week.
00:47:52 - Today you'll break the chandelier.
00:47:55 - You're gonna do it.
00:47:58 - Marvelous !
00:48:01 - Aim well with the slingshot.
00:48:06 - I don't know how.
00:48:09 - You set the steel ball here.
00:48:12 - No. Put it here.
00:48:17 - Aim and pull.
00:48:20 - More, more.
00:48:23 Pull !
00:48:30 For violence towards passengers,
00:48:36 But Fantozzi's train,
00:48:45 It stops here ?
00:48:50 What's going on ?
00:48:53 Wait a minute.
00:48:58 Help, doctor !
00:49:16 - Who is it ?
00:49:20 Ugo ! O, Lord !
00:49:24 I had a rough day...
00:49:27 - Come, let's wash you with boric acid.
00:49:31 You shouldn't touch me.
00:49:35 I have to study.
00:49:39 I have to start studying right away.
00:49:45 I'm finished, I can't go on.
00:49:49 And that guy won't give me my diploma.
00:49:52 And what does this exam consist of?
00:49:56 It consists of....
00:50:00 How old ?
00:50:05 An old geiser. I have to go and rob her.
00:50:10 What if that old lady was me ?
00:50:14 I'll disguise myself, I'll bring a cane.
00:50:21 Would you do all this for me ?
00:50:25 If this is important for you, Ugo.
00:50:29 It is important.
00:50:33 Stop worrying about it, I'll get you through this.
00:50:36 They organized everything down to the smallest detail.
00:50:50 - What is it ?
00:50:53 - Which one is it ?
00:50:56 This isn't my Pinacia,
00:50:59 She hasn't got a penny on her.
00:51:04 There she is !
00:51:07 - Then, get going !
00:51:15 Ugo, I'm over here !
00:51:19 In order to convince his teacher,
00:51:23 with all their life's savings.
00:51:27 - Please, stop !
00:51:30 Another one of destiny's errors ...
00:51:33 Fantozzi robbed the grand Barambani
00:51:36 who was disguised as an old lady
00:51:42 After the tragic incident, Fantozzi was
00:52:29 Get up, Fantozzi,
00:52:32 Really ?!
00:52:34 Pardon me, but you're not bothered by what happened ?
00:52:39 On the contrary, congratulations !
00:52:42 - Grab a seat over here !
00:52:46 You've shown an unexpected strength.
00:52:50 The jury apologizes for its mistake.
00:52:54 All these years, we didn't appreciate you for your true value.
00:52:58 But there's still time to remedy this.
00:53:01 We are offering you a position of responsability.
00:53:07 With unlimited career opportunities.
00:53:10 But because you've now joined our privileged circle...
00:53:16 We offer you an honorary membership to our polo club.
00:53:21 The first invitation is for Wednesday.
00:53:25 To polo, they invited me to polo !
00:53:29 But Fantozzi, understood the pole.
00:53:33 And came prepared with a dog sled.
00:53:38 Supplies for six months and a red tent.
00:53:46 - You have a strong sense of humour !
00:53:50 - Why ?
00:53:53 Excuse me, but when you said polo,
00:53:58 You'll get far, Fantozzi.
00:54:01 Fantozzi's career : Director Wolf. Man.
00:54:05 He had in his arsenal :
00:54:08 Business cards in calf leather.
00:54:10 And a company car with a driver.
00:54:22 Level two : Director Dr. Ing.
00:54:29 Two secretaries in bathing suits.
00:54:34 Business cards in cobra leather.
00:54:45 A luxurious limo with a gay driver.
00:55:15 Level three : Dr. Eng. Bastard.
00:55:17 Certified Thief.
00:55:20 Four topless secretaries.
00:55:23 Business cards of human leather made from the non-unionized.
00:55:38 Personal helicopter.
00:55:41 And three assistants for the briefcases.
00:56:07 Since he received the carriage pulled by two pairs of white horses
00:56:11 He was as a master of time
00:56:13 And found himself in a new position of qualification.
00:56:17 Genuine scarecrow.
00:56:21 Big head of str...
00:56:36 Excuse me, but what's....
00:56:46 - Pardon me, what are you doing in my office ?
00:56:49 - What do you mean who am I? I am Fantozzi !
00:56:52 - No. Fantozzi !
00:56:56 - Is this your signature ?
00:56:58 - Come here, come here !
00:57:01 - How about this one ?
00:57:04 - Well !
00:57:06 - This one here too !
00:57:12 - And this one ?
00:57:15 - And this one here ?
00:57:18 - Then, you're responsible for everything !
00:57:21 Everything, got it ?
00:57:24 - Then, you're coming with us...
00:57:28 - What am I accused of ?
00:57:38 This time he obtains the diagnostic:
00:57:42 But also because the defense lawyers
00:57:45 used in his defense
00:57:48 his memoirs authored by his wife Pina
00:57:51 with the purpose of influencing the judges
00:57:54 A strong argument especially for
00:57:58 for the female audience.
00:58:07 I'm from the "Peace" paper,
00:58:11 - Ugo !
00:58:14 - Kiss the loser, madam !
00:58:18 Let's get a photo with the book !
00:58:21 Look over here, loser !
00:58:24 Let's get one with him holding the book too.
00:58:28 Stop, that's enough !
00:58:32 Why are you smiling ?
00:58:42 The title was set by the publisher.
00:59:08 Excuse me Pina, but you've told here to everybody
00:59:11 even he incident with the octopus.
00:59:15 I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
00:59:18 Fine, you didn't mean to hurt my feelings.
00:59:21 But here you make me seem like a monster,
00:59:26 - Like one who does it with octopodes !
00:59:29 - Your candor !
00:59:33 You're only demonstrating your indifference.
00:59:36 And that nothing about me interests you.
00:59:39 You understand ?
00:59:43 - Of an octopus, frankly, I am not.
00:59:47 With whom should I go to make you jealous ?
00:59:50 With a Hungarian breed horse?
00:59:57 Go to sleep, turn off the lights.
01:00:02 I'm not sleeping. You go to sleep.
01:00:05 Stop it.
01:00:11 Everybody will see me from now on as the octopus maniac ....
01:00:16 What's it like to be happy with a loser ?
01:00:20 - Fantastic !
01:00:23 - How did your husband take all this ?
01:00:25 - Really ?
01:00:29 - But he is a special man.
01:00:32 - Yes, why ?
01:00:36 Because he doesn't know how to speak in public.
01:00:38 Come on, say it !
01:00:41 - He's a very humble man.
01:00:45 - I didn't say that.
01:00:49 Let's not beat around the bush, madam.
01:00:52 - The success of this book..
01:00:55 The success of this book is equal
01:00:59 - Exactly !
01:01:02 And now as woman to woman
01:01:05 Do you still love him ?
01:01:09 I respect him very much.
01:01:14 Aren't you afraid that the success of this book
01:01:20 - No, no !
01:01:23 - Everything is clear.
01:01:26 - Everything is easy.
01:01:32 I ask you to reflect on this decision
01:01:37 You've been married for 35 years.
01:01:40 - For 37 ! Your honour.
01:01:43 There's nothing more between you two ?
01:01:46 Physical attraction...
01:01:50 Your beautiful daughter, grand-daughter...
01:01:54 They seem adorable.
01:01:57 Think about us, father.
01:02:01 It's better like this, my darling.
01:02:05 I think I've made my decision.
01:02:08 I might not have been the ideal wife for him.
01:02:12 It's clear that I didn't help him.
01:02:17 I didn't stimulate him enough.
01:02:20 She didn't let me live my life, your honour.
01:02:23 She's always done it. The last time
01:02:27 Maybe he would like to start a new life, your honour.
01:02:32 Sign here !
01:02:39 May I still sign, Pina Fantozzi ?
01:02:50 As a first step on his road to a new life
01:02:53 Fantozzi decided to pursue an old feeling that he couldn't forget.
01:02:58 For this he requested the help
01:03:02 Bad omen Filini !
01:03:05 Where are you Fantozzi ?
01:03:08 Get out of there.
01:03:12 - What are you doing there, accountant ?
01:03:14 - You hit me with the drum and...
01:03:17 Listen, are you sure of what you're doing ?
01:03:20 You've just divorced one woman
01:03:24 But this isn't just any other.
01:03:27 - It's miss Silvani !
01:03:30 You don't remember who was miss Floor #4 ?
01:03:33 - Don't shock me ! Should I call them ?
01:03:37 Come out !
01:03:43 - What are you still doing down there ?
01:03:47 - You got me with the...
01:03:50 Look they're here.
01:03:53 You hit me with the drum !
01:03:55 Such romantic music !
01:04:02 But...
01:04:05 About the lyrics. The lady is a bit...
01:04:09 - You don't like this song ?
01:04:12 - Let them sing a livelier one !
01:04:14 - Let it be a love song.
01:04:31 - Excuse me, Filini !
01:04:34 This song is about death.
01:04:39 - You don't like this one either ?
01:04:41 - Then they'll sing another !
01:04:46 Go to hell !
01:04:49 Did you hear what she said ?
01:05:01 - Would you like a happier song for dancing ?
01:05:04 Wonderful !
01:05:11 Dancing !
01:05:21 Excuse me, but again these lyrics...
01:05:24 Tell them to shut up.
01:05:28 Is that you, Fantozzino ?
01:05:32 - Who, me ?
01:05:37 Mrs. Silvani lived for a long time with suicidal thoughts.
01:05:42 After dozen of attempts...
01:05:45 She decided to hang herself
01:05:49 with a rope taken from the institute of human relics.
01:05:52 "The Dying Saint".
01:05:54 sees in Fantozzi a desperate last refuge.
01:05:57 and decides to stick to him
01:06:04 Who is it ?
01:06:10 It's me !
01:06:25 Ah, it's you, Fantozzino !
01:06:31 How are you, miss !?
01:06:35 Thank you !
01:06:38 Thank me for what ?
01:06:41 For the beautiful serenade !
01:06:45 I hope you didn't...
01:06:50 I mean that I hope you didn't get upset because of Fonelli.
01:06:54 Me ? On the contrary. I found it
01:06:59 I'm used to these.
01:07:02 Last week I had a whiny one.
01:07:07 - Boring !
01:07:11 - Sit down, please.
01:07:17 Would you like something to drink ?
01:07:23 - Give me something strong.
01:07:27 Miss, maybe you didn't know
01:07:32 But I never forgot you, not even for a second.
01:07:36 And I would like you to know that...
01:07:41 For me it meant a lot.
01:07:46 It was something that turned my life around.
01:07:50 At this time, I'm a man who is fully available.
01:07:54 - That witch of the wife of yours died ?
01:07:57 She's alive and well.
01:08:02 We are getting a divorce.
01:08:08 - I'm here to take a poll.
01:08:12 - Are you available, miss ?
01:08:17 More available than this....
01:08:21 Available, available....
01:08:27 Is never available!
01:08:34 Never !
01:08:40 I'm sitting on something that is bothering me.
01:08:46 It's my puppy's leash.
01:08:50 - He's by himself all the time.
01:08:55 I'm so disorganized !
01:09:00 I was telling you that among other things
01:09:05 - Only half.
01:09:09 One offered me everything.
01:09:14 - Starting with a wonderful house in the country.
01:09:19 And us, where will we live, Fantozzi ?
01:09:25 Now wait a second......
01:09:30 For the time being, we'll all live together
01:09:34 At Filini's house, the architect !
01:09:39 What did you say ? Why do you come
01:09:46 I'd have to live with you and that Filini loser?
01:09:51 Get the hell out of here !
01:09:55 Miss... !
01:09:58 I'll also be buying a house in the country.
01:10:02 As always, Filini finds a solution to the issue.
01:10:05 He found Fantozzi, a great real estate deal.
01:10:10 - Are we there yet ? I'm exhausted.
01:10:13 Now this is beautiful ! What a landscape...
01:10:18 - And this house where is it ?
01:10:22 The above mentioned area was the sole
01:10:25 And even withstanding Mussolini's strictness !
01:10:30 - What's going on?
01:10:34 - Wait, are we sinking ?
01:10:38 - It's nothing, settle down, miss.
01:10:43 - Settle down, it's nothing serious.
01:10:50 Come, come !
01:10:54 - Just watch out for the ones that suck blood.
01:10:59 - We've arrived ! This is your new house !
01:11:03 - But this is a church !
01:11:08 This used to be a place of pilgrimage.
01:11:12 I renovated it and it became inhabitable.
01:11:17 This is the business you made!
01:11:21 You can't anymore.
01:11:25 Look !
01:11:29 Look how nice will be your nest.
01:11:41 What are you doing, Fantozzi ?
01:11:44 I heard a noise and ....
01:11:46 - Are you coming or not ?
01:11:49 - Excuse me !
01:11:54 One, six, seven, eight.....
01:12:00 Listen Filini, I don't deny
01:12:04 - But could we lose the down payment ?
01:12:07 I left my house because you said you have a villa !
01:12:12 Villa or not, let's go in !
01:12:21 Don't do that, miss.
01:12:24 You know what I'll do ?
01:12:28 Where should I go ?
01:12:31 Don't be mad Filini, the house is beautiful.
01:12:34 There's a bell too.
01:12:41 Did you see ?
01:12:43 We could use it instead of a regular electric one.
01:12:47 Excuse me, but you understood that it was reconditioned...
01:12:53 But of course ! Visitors come, they pull on the rope.
01:12:56 - Me ?
01:12:59 I'm not a bellman !
01:13:02 Now I'll pull down on the rope...
01:13:06 - See, it doesn't ring !
01:13:09 Pull already...
01:13:17 Of course it couldn't ring.
01:13:22 Listen how beautiful it rings now.
01:13:31 Excuse me, Filini !
01:13:34 - Where is the little room, for....
01:13:37 - I need to go to the bathroom.
01:13:40 In the bell tower ?
01:13:43 It wasn't respectful to do it in the church.
01:13:47 Fantozzi !
01:13:50 How beautiful it is inside!
01:13:54 - Careful with that huge thing...
01:13:57 Where is miss Silvani ?
01:14:01 She went to take care of a little business...
01:14:04 - She went to the little room...
01:14:08 Little ladies room....
01:14:17 - Get up !
01:14:20 I can't take it anymore.
01:14:23 - Now, when will everything be ok?
01:14:26 There's no more bell.
01:14:30 - Miss !
01:14:34 Did you see how it changed the outside look !?
01:14:38 In your honour, I will name it vila Silvana, Silvani !
01:14:44 Did you understand the colour game
01:14:48 In my honour !
01:14:52 You see, miss...
01:14:55 Come on, little doves.
01:14:58 Did you understand what he meant by "Little Doves"....
01:15:06 Come on,
01:15:10 Climb !
01:15:14 You won't carry me over the doorstep like a bride, Fantozzi ?
01:15:20 Like this, hold her in your arms !
01:15:25 How did it go ?
01:15:31 - One, two, three 9 and...
01:15:34 - Can't you look where you're going ?
01:15:37 Easy, Fantozzi !
01:15:42 Home, sweet home !
01:15:55 Fantozzi decided to look for a new girlfriend
01:15:59 Using the latest technology.
01:16:04 My tongue is a little dry because I'm nervous.
01:16:09 I would like one younger than my wife
01:16:15 She should be very young and ....
01:16:19 The computer will pick her.
01:16:22 After this, you will need to answer some questions.
01:16:25 What is your zodiac sign ?
01:16:28 Me..... after....
01:16:33 Favourite song.
01:16:37 Orieta Berti with the wonderful song
01:16:40 To give the computer the necessary information
01:16:43 for creating a profile as accurate as possible...
01:16:46 Fantozzi underwent a terrible inquiry.
01:16:50 comprising of 1800 questions.
01:16:53 They even needed his somatico-biological data.
01:16:57 One.....
01:17:00 It reads three...
01:17:05 - It reads twenty.
01:17:14 - But here there's no reading !
01:17:18 Let's magnify the area !
01:17:27 Let's magnify again.
01:17:37 Excuse me ! But you can see something.
01:17:43 Get off !
01:17:47 We think we found your match.
01:17:51 - What match ?
01:17:55 We will give you
01:17:59 For 15 days, Fantozzi has terorrized the agency with his phone calls.
01:18:02 And finally the computer found his match.
01:18:08 The meeting point was set in the orange tree garden.
01:18:10 The lady's nickname was, "Shy hope".
01:18:14 His was, "Rambo 39".
01:18:17 The recognition sign was to wear a red carnation on the chest.
01:18:35 The computer hadn't taken into account that...
01:18:39 At the same time, in that very spot
01:18:41 The yearly socialist women's meeting was taking place.
01:18:45 He was ready to leave, when......
01:18:54 - Rambo 39 ?
01:18:58 But it's you, Pina !
01:19:02 - You are "Rambo 39" ?
01:19:06 I also tried to start over, Ugo.
01:19:09 You know, Mariangela has insisted a lot.
01:19:12 In computer terms, you are my perfect match.
01:19:18 And you are mine.
01:19:22 - How much did you pay, Pina ?
01:19:25 And a million from me.
01:19:29 Thieves !
01:19:31 You know Ugo, if you are not happy with what the computer picked...
01:19:34 If you're looking for something better,
01:19:38 What are you saying there ?
01:19:45 I'm hopeless.
01:19:49 I can't find a better one.
01:19:54 You are without a doubt, unique for me.
01:19:59 Are you sure, Ugo ?
01:20:04 No, Pina !
01:20:08 If you accept me as I am
01:20:12 - OK. Should we go home ?
01:20:16 I'd still like to ask you one last thing.
01:20:20 What do you feel for me ?
01:20:24 I respect you very much, Ugo.
01:20:28 To the sea.....
01:20:53 Translated by Cristina V. Dumitrescu