|
Ace Ventura Pet Detective
|
| 00:01:01 |
Heads up! Good defense! |
| 00:01:03 |
Good defense! |
| 00:01:58 |
We're going downtown. |
| 00:02:09 |
Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt! |
| 00:02:13 |
What do you want? |
| 00:02:14 |
HDS, sir. How are you this afternoon? |
| 00:02:22 |
It sounds broken. |
| 00:02:24 |
Most likely. I'll bet it was something |
| 00:02:28 |
If you'll just sign here, |
| 00:02:31 |
...we'll get the rest of the forms |
| 00:02:38 |
That's a lovely dog. |
| 00:02:40 |
- Do you mind if I pet him? |
| 00:02:54 |
Oh, brother! |
| 00:02:56 |
That's fine. I can finish the rest. |
| 00:02:58 |
You just have yourself a good day. |
| 00:03:14 |
Excuse me! HDS! |
| 00:03:16 |
HDS! Coming through! |
| 00:03:18 |
Got a package, people! |
| 00:03:33 |
Get away from the door. |
| 00:03:38 |
What's the matter with you? |
| 00:03:46 |
Son of a bitch! |
| 00:03:48 |
That was a close one! |
| 00:03:50 |
Unfortunately... |
| 00:03:51 |
...in every contest |
| 00:04:06 |
Hungry, fellow? |
| 00:04:11 |
There you go. |
| 00:04:17 |
No problem. It gets flooded. |
| 00:04:22 |
Or we can try it now. |
| 00:04:24 |
Putz! |
| 00:04:25 |
Come on! |
| 00:04:26 |
Get out! Get out! |
| 00:04:31 |
Warning: Assholes |
| 00:04:38 |
Give me a push while you're back there. |
| 00:04:42 |
Alrighty, then! |
| 00:04:47 |
It's alive! |
| 00:04:49 |
It's alive! |
| 00:05:33 |
My little baby, come here. |
| 00:05:37 |
Yes, you did. Did Daddy hurt you? |
| 00:05:42 |
He can keep the big TV, but he's not |
| 00:05:50 |
Thank you, Mr. Ventura. |
| 00:05:55 |
How can I ever repay you? |
| 00:05:57 |
A reward would be good. |
| 00:05:59 |
There is some damage to my car, |
| 00:06:06 |
Would you like for me |
| 00:06:10 |
Gee! Let me think. |
| 00:06:13 |
Sure. |
| 00:06:22 |
People are real friendly around here. |
| 00:08:17 |
Ventura! |
| 00:08:20 |
Yes, Satan? |
| 00:08:23 |
I'm sorry, sir. |
| 00:08:26 |
Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura. |
| 00:08:31 |
You owe me rent. |
| 00:08:32 |
Mr. Shickadance, I told you, |
| 00:08:36 |
I'm on a very big case right now. |
| 00:08:39 |
Look at that. |
| 00:08:42 |
Some rich guy lost it. |
| 00:08:46 |
As soon as I find this bird... |
| 00:08:48 |
...you're paid. |
| 00:08:49 |
I heard animals in there. |
| 00:08:51 |
I heard them again this morning, |
| 00:08:54 |
I never bring my work home with me. |
| 00:08:57 |
Oh, yeah? |
| 00:08:58 |
What's all this pet food for? |
| 00:09:02 |
Fiber. |
| 00:09:04 |
Wanna take a look inside? Come on! |
| 00:09:07 |
Come on! |
| 00:09:20 |
Go ahead. Snoop around! |
| 00:09:35 |
Well? |
| 00:09:36 |
Are you satisfied? |
| 00:09:40 |
Just don't let me catch you |
| 00:09:44 |
All right. |
| 00:09:46 |
Take care, now. Bye-bye, then. |
| 00:09:50 |
Loser! |
| 00:10:17 |
Come to me, jungle friends. |
| 00:10:33 |
Roger, let me ask you one question. |
| 00:10:36 |
How in hell do you lose |
| 00:10:41 |
What? |
| 00:10:42 |
I'm sorry, I was just going to say... |
| 00:10:44 |
...that it's not a fish. It's a mammal. |
| 00:10:47 |
Thank you, Miss Jacques Cousteau. |
| 00:10:49 |
She didn't mean anything by that. |
| 00:10:51 |
I don't give a good goddamn |
| 00:10:55 |
Fillet it and fast-food it |
| 00:10:57 |
All I give a damn about is |
| 00:11:01 |
My athletes have got to have |
| 00:11:04 |
Shit, Roger! You've been |
| 00:11:09 |
You know how superstitious |
| 00:11:12 |
I have a quarterback that's put his |
| 00:11:16 |
I've got a linebacker that hasn't washed |
| 00:11:20 |
...because he thinks flies are lucky. |
| 00:11:23 |
I want that fish on that field |
| 00:11:27 |
Find the fish... |
| 00:11:29 |
...or find new jobs! |
| 00:11:31 |
Why did it happen now, |
| 00:11:34 |
I'll tell you, it's those |
| 00:11:37 |
Always out with their signs: |
| 00:11:39 |
"Animals were born free! |
| 00:11:42 |
That fish lives better than they do. |
| 00:11:44 |
The police are checking into the animal- |
| 00:11:48 |
No, but I wanted to tell you, |
| 00:11:52 |
...I hired a pet detective. |
| 00:11:54 |
A what? |
| 00:11:55 |
A pet detective. |
| 00:11:59 |
Thanks, Martha, but we better |
| 00:12:02 |
Well, actually, he was quite good. |
| 00:12:04 |
Pet detection is a very involved, |
| 00:13:01 |
Like a glove! |
| 00:13:13 |
Mr. Ventura here to see you. |
| 00:13:16 |
Thanks, Martha. |
| 00:13:17 |
Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson. |
| 00:13:19 |
Pleasure to meet you. |
| 00:13:20 |
Any trouble getting in? |
| 00:13:22 |
No, the guy with the rubber glove |
| 00:13:26 |
Security's tight Super Bowl week. |
| 00:13:29 |
Why don't you have a seat? |
| 00:13:33 |
Our mascot was stolen from his tank last |
| 00:13:38 |
Negative. |
| 00:13:39 |
We got him from Miami. |
| 00:13:43 |
This is a new trick he was |
| 00:13:46 |
Let's go. |
| 00:13:48 |
Blue 42, blue 42! |
| 00:13:50 |
Hut, hut! |
| 00:13:54 |
All right! |
| 00:14:00 |
Come on, let's go! |
| 00:14:07 |
Good boy! |
| 00:14:16 |
Would you like an ashtray? |
| 00:14:19 |
I don't smoke. |
| 00:14:21 |
It's a disgusting habit. |
| 00:14:29 |
The police came today. |
| 00:14:30 |
Apparently, the kidnappers |
| 00:14:34 |
Four-wheel-drive van, |
| 00:14:38 |
Roger, how you holding up? |
| 00:14:40 |
If I'm walking funny it's because |
| 00:14:44 |
They've been asking me |
| 00:14:50 |
Who's he? |
| 00:14:51 |
Roger Podacter, meet Ace Ventura. |
| 00:14:54 |
He's our pet detective. |
| 00:14:56 |
Nice to meet you. You came very |
| 00:15:00 |
Martha Mertz? |
| 00:15:03 |
Oh, yeah, the bitch! |
| 00:15:06 |
Pekingese, lost in Highland Park area. |
| 00:15:10 |
Is that the tank? |
| 00:15:12 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:15:23 |
- Cops drain it? |
| 00:15:27 |
If I'm not back in five minutes... |
| 00:15:30 |
...just wait longer. |
| 00:15:46 |
Captain's log, stardate 23.9, rounded |
| 00:15:51 |
We've traveled back in time to save |
| 00:15:57 |
So far... |
| 00:15:58 |
...no signs of aquatic life, |
| 00:16:02 |
If I have to tear another black hole, |
| 00:16:06 |
I've got to, mister! |
| 00:16:20 |
Oh, great! |
| 00:16:22 |
I'll try to head them off. |
| 00:16:24 |
Ace, get out of the tank. |
| 00:16:26 |
I just can't do it, captain! |
| 00:16:28 |
I don't have the power! |
| 00:16:33 |
People! |
| 00:16:34 |
I said, get out of the tank now! |
| 00:16:36 |
For God's sake, Jim, |
| 00:16:40 |
Where's Snowflake? |
| 00:16:42 |
Snowflake is not available right now. |
| 00:16:45 |
Roger, I've been waiting all day. |
| 00:16:49 |
What, is he sick? |
| 00:17:07 |
People, people! |
| 00:17:43 |
Lassie must be missing. |
| 00:17:49 |
Make any good collars lately? |
| 00:17:51 |
Or were they leashes? |
| 00:18:02 |
Homicide, Ventura. |
| 00:18:05 |
How are you gonna solve that one? |
| 00:18:10 |
Good question, Aguado! |
| 00:18:12 |
First, I'd establish a motive. |
| 00:18:14 |
The killer saw the size of the bug's |
| 00:18:21 |
Then I'd lose 30 pounds |
| 00:18:26 |
Come on! |
| 00:18:28 |
Now, kiss and make up! |
| 00:18:35 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:18:37 |
I'd like to ass you a few questions. |
| 00:18:39 |
This is not the time, Ace. |
| 00:18:41 |
If Einhorn come down here and see me |
| 00:18:46 |
I can keep him under control. You have |
| 00:18:51 |
I can't do nothing for you on that. |
| 00:18:55 |
All right, that's it! |
| 00:18:58 |
Five minutes alone, that's all I need! |
| 00:19:01 |
Better look alive. |
| 00:19:04 |
Come on, now. Ace, please. |
| 00:19:06 |
What's that matter? |
| 00:19:10 |
Aguado's working the case, all right? |
| 00:19:13 |
Aguado! |
| 00:19:15 |
Good call! |
| 00:19:17 |
We're just a little busy now... |
| 00:19:19 |
...with murderers and burglaries |
| 00:19:23 |
A missing dolphin isn't exactly |
| 00:19:29 |
Now you've pissed him off. |
| 00:19:32 |
- Would you give me a break? |
| 00:19:35 |
My boss is coming! |
| 00:19:38 |
Okay, look. |
| 00:19:40 |
We ran a check with local |
| 00:19:42 |
We checked out the taxidermists |
| 00:19:47 |
So far, nothing, nathin', nada. |
| 00:19:51 |
Any unusual bets being made? |
| 00:19:52 |
Of course! This is Super Bowl! |
| 00:19:55 |
- What'd you find out about the tank? |
| 00:19:57 |
Tire tracks, an escape route. |
| 00:20:01 |
- That's it? |
| 00:20:03 |
Now will you please get out of here |
| 00:20:09 |
Thank you for your cooperation. |
| 00:20:12 |
By the way, do you have a mint? |
| 00:20:15 |
Perhaps some Binaca? |
| 00:20:28 |
Assholomio |
| 00:20:32 |
Osadomia |
| 00:20:37 |
Holy testicle Tuesday! |
| 00:20:41 |
What the hell is he doing here? |
| 00:20:44 |
I came to confess. |
| 00:20:46 |
I was the second gunman |
| 00:20:50 |
Spare me the routine. I know |
| 00:20:54 |
May I suggest you yield |
| 00:20:58 |
We'll find the porpoise. |
| 00:21:03 |
Now I feel better. |
| 00:21:05 |
Of course, that might not do any good. |
| 00:21:09 |
Nobody's missing a porpoise. |
| 00:21:12 |
The common harbor |
| 00:21:15 |
...while the bottle-nosed dolphin, |
| 00:21:19 |
...has an elongated beak, cone-shaped |
| 00:21:24 |
But I'm sure you already knew that. |
| 00:21:27 |
That's what turns me on about you. |
| 00:21:29 |
Your attention to detail. |
| 00:21:31 |
Listen, pet dick... |
| 00:21:34 |
...how would you like me |
| 00:21:38 |
Well, I'm not really ready |
| 00:21:42 |
But thank you for asking. |
| 00:21:48 |
Maybe I'll give you a call sometime. |
| 00:21:50 |
Your number still 911? |
| 00:21:52 |
Alrighty, then! |
| 00:22:31 |
Excuse me. Is Greg here? |
| 00:22:34 |
Thank you! |
| 00:22:55 |
What's the password? |
| 00:22:57 |
New England clam chowder. |
| 00:23:00 |
Is that the red or the white? |
| 00:23:04 |
I can never remember that! |
| 00:23:07 |
White? |
| 00:23:12 |
Hey, Woodstock! |
| 00:23:13 |
Hey, Saint Francis, how's it going? |
| 00:23:15 |
Super, thanks for asking. |
| 00:23:19 |
Do you? |
| 00:23:20 |
Don't I? |
| 00:23:22 |
So what are you up to? |
| 00:23:24 |
Just watching the fishies. |
| 00:23:27 |
You see those blips? |
| 00:23:31 |
I'm sending them new |
| 00:23:34 |
They'll find Jimmy Hoffa... |
| 00:23:37 |
...before they find any whales. |
| 00:23:39 |
Gravy! So can you still tap into |
| 00:23:43 |
Of course I can. Why? |
| 00:23:45 |
I wanna trace the sale of equipment... |
| 00:23:47 |
...for transporting or housing |
| 00:23:50 |
Come on, I thought you had |
| 00:23:53 |
All right, we got marine winch, sling, |
| 00:23:59 |
Wait a minute. Look here. |
| 00:24:02 |
That's a lot of equipment |
| 00:24:05 |
Ronald Camp? The billionaire? |
| 00:24:07 |
Billionaire and rare-fish collector. |
| 00:24:10 |
Really? |
| 00:24:14 |
That is the face of the enemy. |
| 00:24:16 |
Always trying to get his greedy hands |
| 00:24:20 |
Hold on. |
| 00:24:21 |
Camp is connected with the dolphins? |
| 00:24:23 |
That subgenius gave them the land |
| 00:24:27 |
And look, he's throwing another "I'm |
| 00:24:35 |
Looks like it's time for me |
| 00:24:43 |
I'm really going out on a limb here. |
| 00:24:48 |
The date started good, Chuck, but before |
| 00:24:54 |
If you do anything to embarrass me... |
| 00:24:56 |
What? Like this? |
| 00:25:04 |
Hi, Captain Stubing. |
| 00:25:06 |
How are Gopher and Doc? |
| 00:25:08 |
Permission to come aboard, sir. |
| 00:25:29 |
I'm sorry, ladies. |
| 00:25:33 |
Glad you could make it. |
| 00:25:35 |
Thank you. |
| 00:25:38 |
You look wonderful. |
| 00:25:41 |
And who is he, a friend? |
| 00:25:44 |
No, this is... |
| 00:25:48 |
He's a lawyer. |
| 00:25:50 |
Does he have a name, |
| 00:25:57 |
I'm sorry. This is Ace V... |
| 00:26:00 |
Tom Ace. |
| 00:26:03 |
Pleasure to meet you. |
| 00:26:04 |
Congratulations on all your success. |
| 00:26:07 |
You smell terrific! |
| 00:26:09 |
One of the first lessons we learned... |
| 00:26:11 |
...back at... |
| 00:26:13 |
...Stanford was the growth of food- |
| 00:26:18 |
One could make quite |
| 00:26:21 |
...with little else. |
| 00:26:24 |
How is everybody feeling tonight? |
| 00:26:27 |
Very, very well, thank you. |
| 00:26:30 |
Look, honey... |
| 00:26:31 |
...there's the hors d'oeuvres. |
| 00:26:40 |
Are you insane? There is no way |
| 00:26:44 |
What are you trying to do? |
| 00:26:50 |
Will you keep him occupied |
| 00:26:59 |
Smooshy, isn't it? |
| 00:27:10 |
We got a few cases |
| 00:27:14 |
Excuse me, Ron... |
| 00:27:16 |
...I need to use the bathroom. |
| 00:27:18 |
I think it's the pâté. |
| 00:27:20 |
Sure, it's over there. |
| 00:27:23 |
Stuff probably looks better |
| 00:27:33 |
He wasn't feeling well earlier today. |
| 00:29:10 |
Gravy! |
| 00:29:15 |
Don't worry, Snowflake. |
| 00:29:17 |
Ace Ventura's here. |
| 00:29:21 |
Yummy! |
| 00:29:41 |
Snowflake! |
| 00:29:44 |
Here, Snowflake. |
| 00:29:47 |
I've got a snack for you. |
| 00:30:02 |
They're wonderful, aren't they? |
| 00:30:05 |
Yes, they certainly are. |
| 00:30:08 |
No matter what's going on in my life... |
| 00:30:10 |
...I can always watch them swim... |
| 00:30:12 |
...and be totally at peace. |
| 00:30:22 |
It's not Snowflake! |
| 00:30:24 |
It's not Snowflake! |
| 00:30:27 |
It's not Snowflake! |
| 00:30:47 |
Are you sure your date is all right? |
| 00:30:50 |
It's been an awfully long time. |
| 00:30:52 |
Who, Tom? |
| 00:30:53 |
Well, I'm sure he's fine. |
| 00:31:06 |
Do not go in there! |
| 00:31:21 |
I'm sorry. I'll have the plumbing |
| 00:31:25 |
Do that! If I'd been drinking out |
| 00:31:29 |
I'm sorry again, Mr. Ace. |
| 00:31:36 |
What're you doing? |
| 00:31:38 |
I'm sorry, Ron. |
| 00:31:40 |
What's he doing? |
| 00:31:41 |
Let's go! |
| 00:31:46 |
Stop it! |
| 00:31:48 |
I don't even wanna know |
| 00:31:52 |
You could've cost me my job! |
| 00:31:54 |
So you found a pebble |
| 00:31:58 |
I found it in the filter, thank you. |
| 00:32:00 |
And it's not a pebble, it's a rare, |
| 00:32:06 |
What're you talking about? |
| 00:32:08 |
Tonight I saw the same stone |
| 00:32:11 |
I thought you said Camp didn't do it. |
| 00:32:13 |
No, his ring wasn't missing a stone. |
| 00:32:16 |
But whoever was in that tank |
| 00:32:19 |
Ring? What ring? |
| 00:32:23 |
The 1984 Dolphin AFC championship ring. |
| 00:32:28 |
I find the ring with a missing stone, |
| 00:32:33 |
How you gonna do that? |
| 00:32:37 |
Simple. |
| 00:32:45 |
Loser! |
| 00:32:46 |
Why don't you learn how to drive, pal? |
| 00:32:50 |
You wanna play? |
| 00:33:01 |
Damn it! |
| 00:35:20 |
That stone could've come from anywhere. |
| 00:35:22 |
It could've come from... |
| 00:35:24 |
...a necklace or a pendant, an earring. |
| 00:35:27 |
It came from an '84 AFC |
| 00:35:35 |
Einhorn thinks it may have been |
| 00:35:40 |
Free Animals Now, started by Chelsea, |
| 00:35:45 |
Over half a million members worldwide? |
| 00:35:47 |
No. Who are they? |
| 00:35:50 |
Did you know... |
| 00:35:51 |
...they sent letters to college teams |
| 00:35:55 |
What do you feed your dog? |
| 00:35:59 |
Dog food. Why? |
| 00:36:01 |
He is miserable! |
| 00:36:03 |
What are you talking about? |
| 00:36:04 |
He's very unhappy. I feel sorry for him. |
| 00:36:08 |
It's amazing he's still alive. |
| 00:36:12 |
You're just mad because your stupid |
| 00:36:17 |
You can't express anger. |
| 00:36:19 |
Yeah? And you're ugly. |
| 00:36:22 |
I'm not even gonna talk to you. |
| 00:36:26 |
Why? So you can beat him? |
| 00:36:28 |
Fatty! |
| 00:36:29 |
You're unbelievable! |
| 00:36:31 |
Hiring you was the biggest mistake |
| 00:36:33 |
Well, why don't you cry about it, |
| 00:36:41 |
You like her, huh? |
| 00:36:43 |
Yeah, she's all right. |
| 00:36:54 |
Look, Melissa, I... |
| 00:36:59 |
I'm here at the North Beach Towers |
| 00:37:04 |
...where Roger Podacter, head of |
| 00:37:07 |
...has apparently committed suicide... |
| 00:37:10 |
...allegedly leaping to his death |
| 00:37:22 |
You okay? |
| 00:37:24 |
I told you. I was in my apartment... |
| 00:37:26 |
...across the hall. |
| 00:37:28 |
I heard a scream... |
| 00:37:30 |
...so I called the manager. |
| 00:37:32 |
The place was empty, except for the dog. |
| 00:37:36 |
I opened the balcony door |
| 00:37:38 |
...splat, bang, pancake time. |
| 00:37:41 |
Okay, thank you very much. |
| 00:37:48 |
Hi there, fella. |
| 00:37:49 |
Have a bad night? |
| 00:38:01 |
So... |
| 00:38:03 |
...animals can sense evil. |
| 00:38:05 |
Who let Dr. Doolittle in? |
| 00:38:07 |
Lieutenant, he came with Miss Robinson. |
| 00:38:10 |
This is police business. We'll let you |
| 00:38:17 |
Face it... |
| 00:38:18 |
Forget it. She's right. |
| 00:38:20 |
Besides... |
| 00:38:22 |
...I wouldn't want someone tracing |
| 00:38:40 |
So... |
| 00:38:41 |
...you don't think this is an obvious |
| 00:38:45 |
I wouldn't say that. There's plenty |
| 00:38:50 |
Except, of course, for that |
| 00:38:58 |
May I tell you what I think happened? |
| 00:39:00 |
Alrighty, then! |
| 00:39:02 |
Roger Podacter went out after work, |
| 00:39:05 |
He wasn't alone. Someone else |
| 00:39:09 |
...and he was thrown over that balcony. |
| 00:39:12 |
Roger Podacter didn't commit suicide. |
| 00:39:15 |
He was murdered. |
| 00:39:18 |
That's a very entertaining story... |
| 00:39:20 |
...but real detectives have to worry |
| 00:39:25 |
...evidence. |
| 00:39:28 |
I think I heard a toilet flush. |
| 00:39:31 |
Maybe somebody lost a turtle. |
| 00:39:36 |
Well, I... |
| 00:39:38 |
I guess I'm out of my league here. |
| 00:39:43 |
Good work. |
| 00:39:51 |
There is just |
| 00:39:56 |
This woman is Roger Podacter's neighbor. |
| 00:39:59 |
She said she heard a scream. Right? |
| 00:40:01 |
And you had to open |
| 00:40:04 |
- That's true. |
| 00:40:08 |
I'm certain. |
| 00:40:09 |
What's the point, Ventura? |
| 00:40:12 |
Only this. |
| 00:40:26 |
This is double-paned, soundproof glass. |
| 00:40:29 |
...she could have heard |
| 00:40:33 |
The scream she heard |
| 00:40:35 |
...before he was thrown off the balcony. |
| 00:40:43 |
Can you feel that, buddy? |
| 00:40:47 |
I have exorcized the demons! |
| 00:40:53 |
This house is clear. |
| 00:40:57 |
- Losers. |
| 00:40:59 |
- Losers! Losers! |
| 00:41:03 |
Losers. |
| 00:41:06 |
Come on. |
| 00:41:08 |
Back to the zoo. |
| 00:41:12 |
What are you thinking? |
| 00:41:15 |
This whole thing is connected, somehow. |
| 00:41:17 |
I want to find that other ring. |
| 00:41:22 |
Ace, you checked all the rings. |
| 00:41:24 |
Receipts? What about receipts? |
| 00:41:26 |
There's gotta be receipts. |
| 00:41:37 |
That was pretty impressive, |
| 00:41:41 |
You don't have to tell me. |
| 00:41:43 |
I was there. |
| 00:41:46 |
Maybe you should've joined the police |
| 00:41:50 |
I don't do humans. |
| 00:41:54 |
You really love animals. |
| 00:41:57 |
If it gets cold enough. |
| 00:42:01 |
No, I have a kinship with them. |
| 00:42:04 |
I understand them. |
| 00:42:07 |
Wanna hear something spooky? |
| 00:42:09 |
Sure. |
| 00:42:13 |
One time when I was about 12, I had |
| 00:42:17 |
...a big dog with rabies. |
| 00:42:19 |
He had these bloodshot eyes... |
| 00:42:21 |
...and foam came out of his mouth. |
| 00:42:23 |
No matter how fast I ran, he just kept |
| 00:42:30 |
Then just before I got |
| 00:42:33 |
...he jumped and sank his teeth in. |
| 00:42:38 |
That's when I woke up... |
| 00:42:40 |
...and felt the back of my neck. |
| 00:42:46 |
Bastard! |
| 00:42:48 |
I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. |
| 00:42:52 |
Want to know why I do this? |
| 00:42:54 |
I'm not sure anymore. |
| 00:42:55 |
You better be sure... |
| 00:42:58 |
...because once you get |
| 00:43:00 |
...there's no turning back. |
| 00:43:13 |
So... |
| 00:43:16 |
Are these all? There's only a dozen. |
| 00:43:18 |
Maybe it's in another file, |
| 00:43:20 |
Who the hell is that? |
| 00:43:22 |
What? |
| 00:43:27 |
That. |
| 00:43:29 |
Who the hell is that? |
| 00:43:32 |
That's Ray Finkle, the kicker. |
| 00:43:37 |
Why isn't he in this picture? |
| 00:43:43 |
This was taken earlier in the year. |
| 00:43:53 |
He missed the final field goal |
| 00:43:56 |
Cost the Dolphins the game. |
| 00:43:58 |
But he got himself a ring, didn't he? |
| 00:44:02 |
Definitely. |
| 00:44:03 |
"Replacement kicker |
| 00:44:06 |
"Ready for Super Bowl, |
| 00:44:09 |
"Field goal sails wide, |
| 00:44:13 |
"The kick heard round the world." |
| 00:44:15 |
That was Finkle. |
| 00:44:20 |
Poor guy. |
| 00:44:22 |
Poor guy with a motive, baby. |
| 00:44:25 |
Where is he now? |
| 00:44:27 |
I heard he went back |
| 00:44:31 |
Really? |
| 00:44:36 |
You're gonna drop me off before you go? |
| 00:44:39 |
No way. You shouldn't be |
| 00:44:42 |
It might not be safe at your apartment. |
| 00:44:45 |
What do you suggest? |
| 00:45:30 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:45:32 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:45:35 |
Three times? |
| 00:45:37 |
I'm sorry, that's never |
| 00:45:41 |
I must be tired. |
| 00:45:46 |
Okay, I'm ready again. |
| 00:46:37 |
I'm looking for Ray Finkle... |
| 00:46:40 |
...and a clean pair of shorts. |
| 00:46:42 |
What do you know about Ray Finkle? |
| 00:46:47 |
Soccer-style kicker. |
| 00:46:50 |
Stetson University honors graduate, |
| 00:46:54 |
Most points and distance. |
| 00:46:56 |
Nickname, "The Mule." |
| 00:46:59 |
And one hell of a model American. |
| 00:47:07 |
Are you another one of them |
| 00:47:10 |
No, sir. |
| 00:47:11 |
I'm just a big Finkle fan. |
| 00:47:14 |
This is my Graceland, sir. |
| 00:47:17 |
Will you put that gun down? |
| 00:47:20 |
The boy is a fan of our son. |
| 00:47:24 |
So nice to meet you. |
| 00:47:26 |
I'm Ray's mother... |
| 00:47:27 |
...and this is Ray's father. |
| 00:47:30 |
It's a real honor! |
| 00:47:32 |
It's an honor to have you here. |
| 00:47:37 |
My Ray is so appreciative of his fans. |
| 00:47:40 |
He'll be so pleased you stopped by. |
| 00:47:42 |
Are you expecting Ray anytime soon? |
| 00:47:45 |
Oh, yes. I expect him home any minute. |
| 00:47:48 |
Would you like some cookies? |
| 00:47:51 |
Yummy! |
| 00:47:59 |
Ray Finkle's house. |
| 00:48:02 |
I can't wait to meet him. |
| 00:48:06 |
Ray ain't coming home. |
| 00:48:10 |
But your wife expects him any minute. |
| 00:48:12 |
She expects him home any minute. |
| 00:48:16 |
See, the engine's running |
| 00:48:21 |
Eight years ago... |
| 00:48:22 |
...our son escaped from |
| 00:48:26 |
And they're still bugging us |
| 00:48:29 |
It was all that Dan Marino's fault. |
| 00:48:33 |
If he'd held the ball laces out, |
| 00:48:37 |
...Ray wouldn't have missed the kick. |
| 00:48:39 |
Dan Marino should die |
| 00:48:43 |
Would you like a cookie, son? |
| 00:48:48 |
What do you know? |
| 00:48:50 |
They're little footballs. |
| 00:48:52 |
Laces out. |
| 00:48:55 |
When Ray gets back and starts |
| 00:48:58 |
...he'll never even know he was gone. |
| 00:49:00 |
I've kept his room |
| 00:49:24 |
Oh, boy! |
| 00:49:26 |
What a sports nut, huh? |
| 00:49:40 |
May I? |
| 00:49:41 |
Oh, yes, by all means. |
| 00:49:47 |
Five seconds to go here |
| 00:49:50 |
Dolphins trailing the 49ers... |
| 00:49:52 |
... by one. This will |
| 00:49:56 |
There's the snap. |
| 00:49:58 |
Marino holds. |
| 00:49:59 |
The kick... |
| 00:50:01 |
... and it's high. No, it's... |
| 00:50:03 |
... no good. |
| 00:50:04 |
Ray Finkle blew a 26-yard field goal! |
| 00:50:08 |
I don't believe it! |
| 00:50:10 |
The Dolphins lose! |
| 00:50:12 |
The Dolphins lose! |
| 00:50:17 |
- Melissa, it's Ace! |
| 00:50:20 |
I'm in psychoville, and Finkle's |
| 00:50:24 |
Why? |
| 00:50:25 |
He's about to join Snowflake. |
| 00:50:28 |
He has a commercial shoot |
| 00:50:33 |
Call the police. Get extra |
| 00:50:36 |
Ace, what's going on? |
| 00:50:41 |
Thought I left? |
| 00:50:44 |
I'm really gonna go this time. |
| 00:50:54 |
Here we go, folks. Very quiet. |
| 00:50:56 |
Action! |
| 00:50:57 |
I'm Dan Marino, and if anyone knows |
| 00:51:07 |
So I take care of the hands |
| 00:51:11 |
...with Isotoner gloves! |
| 00:51:12 |
Cut! Again from the top. |
| 00:51:14 |
I said, cut! |
| 00:51:15 |
Guys, it's a cut! |
| 00:51:17 |
What the hell are they doing? |
| 00:51:19 |
That's a cut! |
| 00:51:26 |
- What is this, a rewrite? |
| 00:51:32 |
- Where'd they go? |
| 00:51:34 |
Let's go! |
| 00:51:42 |
Excuse me, gentlemen! |
| 00:51:44 |
Pet detective! |
| 00:51:53 |
Come on! |
| 00:51:54 |
What's wrong? |
| 00:51:56 |
Can't you hit me? |
| 00:52:23 |
Have there been ransom demands? |
| 00:52:25 |
There's no communication |
| 00:52:28 |
Will the Super Bowl be postponed? |
| 00:52:30 |
The game is on as scheduled. |
| 00:52:32 |
Why weren't we told |
| 00:52:34 |
Secrecy was essential. |
| 00:52:37 |
- Are the crimes related? |
| 00:52:41 |
Now, if you'll excuse me... |
| 00:52:45 |
Get me the autopsy on Podacter! |
| 00:52:47 |
Aguado, send out a memo: |
| 00:52:50 |
And somebody get me some coffee! |
| 00:52:53 |
Tonight on Miami Vice, |
| 00:52:58 |
When I get out of that bathroom, |
| 00:53:02 |
Is it number one or number two? |
| 00:53:05 |
I just wanna know how much time I have. |
| 00:53:09 |
By the way, |
| 00:53:12 |
...pesky Snowflake-Podacter- |
| 00:53:15 |
You ever heard of a former |
| 00:53:25 |
All right, Ventura... |
| 00:53:28 |
...make it quick. |
| 00:53:30 |
I found a rare stone |
| 00:53:33 |
It belongs to a Dolphin '84 AFC |
| 00:53:36 |
It would've been a Super Bowl ring, |
| 00:53:39 |
Blames the whole thing on Marino. |
| 00:53:41 |
We're talking paranoid, delusional |
| 00:53:46 |
Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter. |
| 00:53:49 |
So how does Roger Podacter fit in? |
| 00:53:52 |
My guess is, Finkle was snooping around. |
| 00:53:56 |
As for Snowflake, they gave him Finkle's |
| 00:54:01 |
Finkle took it personally. |
| 00:54:05 |
So where is Finkle now? |
| 00:54:07 |
Busted out of a mental institute. He's |
| 00:54:11 |
Waiting for the perfect time |
| 00:54:14 |
The time when it'd hurt them most: |
| 00:54:16 |
Super Bowl time. |
| 00:54:19 |
Man, I'm tired of being right! |
| 00:54:25 |
Congratulations. |
| 00:54:28 |
You've done some fine detective work... |
| 00:54:32 |
...Ace. |
| 00:54:35 |
I'm sorry, could you |
| 00:54:38 |
I thought I heard you call me Ace. |
| 00:54:40 |
Maybe I was wrong about you. |
| 00:54:53 |
Your gun is digging into my hip. |
| 00:54:55 |
What's wrong? |
| 00:54:57 |
Want me to read you your rights? |
| 00:55:00 |
Maybe later. |
| 00:55:05 |
What is it? |
| 00:55:06 |
That bony little bitch... |
| 00:55:08 |
...Melissa Robinson? |
| 00:55:10 |
You just don't do anything for me. |
| 00:55:14 |
Down, boy! |
| 00:55:17 |
Everything okay in here? |
| 00:55:20 |
Fine, sergeant. |
| 00:55:22 |
You want me to throw him out? |
| 00:55:24 |
Why don't you throw yourself out? |
| 00:55:29 |
Yes, ma'am. |
| 00:55:33 |
Ace, I want you to leave |
| 00:55:36 |
I can't do that, lieutenant. |
| 00:55:39 |
When we find Marino... |
| 00:55:41 |
...we'll deliver Snowflake. |
| 00:55:43 |
When I find Snowflake... |
| 00:55:47 |
...I'll deliver Marino. |
| 00:56:00 |
Melissa, it's Ace! |
| 00:56:02 |
What are you doing here? |
| 00:56:05 |
You have to commit me. |
| 00:56:08 |
Finkle escaped from Shady Acres. |
| 00:56:12 |
They aren't gonna let us look around. |
| 00:56:14 |
I know. |
| 00:56:15 |
It's a good thing |
| 00:56:18 |
Mrs. Robinson... |
| 00:56:20 |
...I'm Dr. Handly. |
| 00:56:22 |
Now who is it you want us to look at? |
| 00:56:24 |
My brother... |
| 00:56:26 |
...Larry. |
| 00:56:31 |
I'm ready to go in. |
| 00:56:34 |
I know there's a lot riding on it, |
| 00:56:37 |
Just gotta stay positive. |
| 00:56:41 |
I'm gonna execute |
| 00:57:11 |
Let's see that... |
| 00:57:12 |
...in an instant replay. |
| 00:57:28 |
Your brother won't be |
| 00:57:32 |
- Is that right? |
| 00:57:35 |
...to the stress athletes |
| 00:57:37 |
I'm open! I'm open! |
| 00:57:40 |
I'm open! |
| 00:57:42 |
We'll do some preliminary evaluations... |
| 00:57:45 |
...but I think he'll fit in nicely here. |
| 00:57:47 |
Over here! |
| 00:57:51 |
351! |
| 00:57:53 |
351! |
| 00:57:55 |
Rover, sit! Hut, hut! |
| 00:58:00 |
He seems to have some difficulty |
| 00:58:03 |
Has he had a history of mental illness? |
| 00:58:07 |
As long as I've known him. |
| 00:58:10 |
This is one of our therapy rooms. |
| 00:58:14 |
And we do arts and crafts |
| 00:58:17 |
And this is the storage room. |
| 00:58:21 |
Halftime! |
| 00:58:36 |
He'll be fine there by himself |
| 00:58:41 |
I'll show you the dormitories, then. |
| 00:59:52 |
Isotoners. |
| 01:00:13 |
Obsess much? |
| 01:00:16 |
Where are you going? |
| 01:00:18 |
- To clean the storage room. |
| 01:00:21 |
I don't tell you how to do your job. |
| 01:00:24 |
The schedule says... |
| 01:00:25 |
...clean the cafeteria. |
| 01:00:28 |
You should've done it earlier. |
| 01:00:29 |
Man, come on. Cafeteria, my ass! |
| 01:00:33 |
You take breaks too long. You smoke... |
| 01:00:35 |
Man, you're a pain in the ass! |
| 01:00:59 |
"Search called off for missing hiker." |
| 01:01:02 |
"A search ended today |
| 01:01:05 |
...were unable to find the body |
| 01:01:10 |
A hiker missing since Friday? |
| 01:01:12 |
Lois Einhorn? |
| 01:01:15 |
Holy shitballs! |
| 01:01:31 |
What're you doing out here? |
| 01:02:01 |
"Love, Roger"? |
| 01:02:11 |
Ace, it's E. |
| 01:02:12 |
You think the article you found |
| 01:02:15 |
I got a note from Roger to Einhorn... |
| 01:02:18 |
... thanking her for a wonderful evening. |
| 01:02:20 |
Something ain't stirring |
| 01:02:23 |
Wiggles, rewind. |
| 01:02:29 |
What the hell does Lois Einhorn |
| 01:02:34 |
Come on, think! |
| 01:02:36 |
Finkle and Einhorn, in it together. |
| 01:02:45 |
All right! Here we go. |
| 01:02:47 |
Answer's right there! |
| 01:02:51 |
Finkle and Einhorn! Finkle and Einhorn! |
| 01:02:54 |
Finkle and Einhorn! Finkle and Einhorn! |
| 01:03:09 |
Quitter! |
| 01:03:13 |
What do you want? |
| 01:03:16 |
I don't have any food for you. |
| 01:03:19 |
I have to have money to buy food. |
| 01:03:22 |
I have to have a dolphin to get money. |
| 01:03:33 |
Let's face it... |
| 01:03:35 |
...your master is a loser. |
| 01:03:53 |
What the? |
| 01:03:57 |
That's it. |
| 01:04:01 |
That's it! |
| 01:04:02 |
Einhorn is Finkle. |
| 01:04:05 |
Finkle is Einhorn! |
| 01:04:08 |
Einhorn is a man! |
| 01:04:11 |
Oh, my God! |
| 01:04:14 |
Einhorn is a man! |
| 01:05:10 |
"Your gun is digging into my hip." |
| 01:05:14 |
God! |
| 01:05:16 |
And the big story in this |
| 01:05:21 |
... of Miami's starting quarterback, |
| 01:05:24 |
It's gotta be a strain |
| 01:06:04 |
What's the matter, Dan? |
| 01:06:08 |
I just love Super Bowl Sunday. |
| 01:06:11 |
A magical afternoon... |
| 01:06:14 |
...where dreams are made... |
| 01:06:17 |
...and crushed. |
| 01:06:19 |
Look, if you want tickets, |
| 01:06:24 |
Do I look familiar to you? |
| 01:06:27 |
...met someplace before? |
| 01:06:30 |
I don't know. |
| 01:06:33 |
Now the coin toss. |
| 01:06:36 |
Kickoff time. |
| 01:06:38 |
My favorite thing. |
| 01:06:46 |
Laces out! |
| 01:07:06 |
I made some refreshments, Dan. |
| 01:07:10 |
Would you like some refreshments, Dan? |
| 01:07:14 |
I'll be right back, Dan. |
| 01:07:45 |
I don't know how much psycho-woman's |
| 01:07:49 |
Sorry. |
| 01:07:53 |
Snowflake, here you go. Come on. |
| 01:07:55 |
Check it out, Marino. |
| 01:07:57 |
I'm throwing passes to a dolphin. |
| 01:08:09 |
Damn! |
| 01:08:10 |
Go get some more fish! |
| 01:08:12 |
I'm gonna kill that dolphin. |
| 01:08:15 |
Lovely party. |
| 01:08:17 |
Pity I wasn't invited. |
| 01:08:30 |
Where the hell's the smelt? |
| 01:08:40 |
Unconscious. Exactly as I planned. |
| 01:08:50 |
What the hell was that? |
| 01:09:02 |
Shit! |
| 01:09:09 |
What happened? What's going on? |
| 01:09:12 |
You okay? |
| 01:09:14 |
Guess what? |
| 01:09:15 |
It's naptime! |
| 01:09:19 |
What a hit! |
| 01:09:23 |
Heads up! |
| 01:09:30 |
Who are you? |
| 01:09:32 |
Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. |
| 01:09:36 |
The quarterback sneak. |
| 01:09:38 |
Penalty! |
| 01:09:40 |
Too many men on the field. |
| 01:09:43 |
I warned you, Ventura. |
| 01:09:46 |
Whatever happened to "Ace"? |
| 01:09:47 |
Good question. |
| 01:09:50 |
Be careful with that phone. |
| 01:09:55 |
Aguado, it's Lieutenant Einhorn. |
| 01:09:57 |
Send some men over |
| 01:10:01 |
I've got the kidnapper |
| 01:10:04 |
It's Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. |
| 01:10:10 |
Code 11 in progress, |
| 01:10:13 |
... at the Palmdale basin. |
| 01:10:15 |
Officer needs backup. |
| 01:10:18 |
... should be considered |
| 01:10:21 |
It's Ace. We gotta break out of here. |
| 01:10:26 |
Is he in trouble? |
| 01:10:28 |
Don't worry, if there's |
| 01:10:30 |
...there's nothing Ace can't handle. |
| 01:10:33 |
Don't kill me! |
| 01:10:37 |
Please! |
| 01:10:39 |
I'll never tell anyone, I swear. |
| 01:10:41 |
- He's who you want! Kill him! |
| 01:10:44 |
Kill him! He held the ball, remember? |
| 01:10:47 |
Come on, look at him! |
| 01:10:49 |
- Crybaby! |
| 01:10:50 |
- Wimp. |
| 01:10:51 |
Shut up! |
| 01:10:53 |
I think I'll kill the dolphin first. |
| 01:10:58 |
And there's the snap. |
| 01:10:59 |
The kick! |
| 01:11:01 |
And it's good! |
| 01:11:03 |
Good to see somebody who |
| 01:11:10 |
What would you know about pressure? |
| 01:11:15 |
Well, I have kissed a man. |
| 01:11:18 |
Of course, there's never been |
| 01:11:23 |
... than the "kick |
| 01:11:25 |
I mean, it's clear to me that it was |
| 01:11:31 |
The laces were in! |
| 01:11:33 |
They were in! |
| 01:11:54 |
You like that? |
| 01:11:56 |
You like that? |
| 01:12:02 |
And that! And that! |
| 01:12:14 |
Having a little trouble with the lady? |
| 01:12:17 |
You don't understand... |
| 01:12:19 |
...she's a... |
| 01:12:23 |
Get him, Lois! Get him! |
| 01:12:28 |
Get him! |
| 01:12:36 |
Shoot him! |
| 01:12:39 |
- Shoot him! |
| 01:12:43 |
Don't shoot! |
| 01:12:44 |
Put your guns down, or this cop gets it! |
| 01:12:47 |
I mean it! |
| 01:12:49 |
She's not joking! |
| 01:12:51 |
He kidnapped Snowflake! |
| 01:12:53 |
He killed Roger Podacter and was about |
| 01:13:00 |
Fiction can be fun! |
| 01:13:03 |
But I find the reference section |
| 01:13:06 |
For instance... |
| 01:13:07 |
...if you look up... |
| 01:13:09 |
...professional football's |
| 01:13:13 |
...you might read about a Miami Dolphin |
| 01:13:17 |
...who missed a 26-yard field goal |
| 01:13:24 |
You wouldn't read that Finkle |
| 01:13:28 |
...only to escape and join the police... |
| 01:13:31 |
...in a scheme |
| 01:13:35 |
...whom he blamed for the entire thing! |
| 01:13:38 |
What are you talking about? |
| 01:13:40 |
She's not Lois Einhorn! |
| 01:13:44 |
He's lying! |
| 01:13:46 |
Shoot him! |
| 01:13:50 |
Let's just see who's lying, shall we? |
| 01:13:53 |
Would a real woman have to wear |
| 01:14:03 |
Boy, that's really on there! |
| 01:14:05 |
But tell me this: |
| 01:14:07 |
Would a real woman... |
| 01:14:09 |
...be missing these? |
| 01:14:16 |
That kind of surgery can be done |
| 01:14:19 |
But I doubt very much... |
| 01:14:22 |
...if he could find the time |
| 01:14:25 |
...to get rid of... |
| 01:14:27 |
...big old... |
| 01:14:28 |
...Mr. Knish! |
| 01:14:37 |
Oh, boy! |
| 01:14:42 |
Come here. |
| 01:14:44 |
Would you excuse me for just one second? |
| 01:14:54 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 01:14:57 |
...my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino... |
| 01:15:00 |
...brought new evidence to my attention. |
| 01:15:02 |
Now... |
| 01:15:04 |
...history has certainly shown |
| 01:15:08 |
...criminal investigator can be wrong. |
| 01:15:11 |
But if I am mistaken... |
| 01:15:13 |
...if the lieutenant |
| 01:15:16 |
...as she claims to be... |
| 01:15:18 |
...then, my friend... |
| 01:15:20 |
...she is suffering from the worst case |
| 01:15:26 |
That's why Roger Podacter is dead! |
| 01:15:28 |
He found Captain Winkie! |
| 01:15:39 |
Good night! |
| 01:15:41 |
You've been a wonderful audience. |
| 01:15:49 |
Die, animal boy! |
| 01:15:51 |
Quick decision. |
| 01:16:13 |
Loser! |
| 01:16:22 |
You have any more gum? |
| 01:16:24 |
That's none of your damn business. |
| 01:16:28 |
You're a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy. |
| 01:16:32 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 01:16:35 |
... the Miami Dolphins are proud... |
| 01:16:37 |
... to welcome back |
| 01:16:40 |
... our beloved mascot... |
| 01:16:42 |
... and the star of our halftime show: |
| 01:16:45 |
Snowflake! |
| 01:16:53 |
And now... |
| 01:16:55 |
... returning for the second half, |
| 01:16:59 |
... Dan Marino! |
| 01:17:45 |
Idiot! |
| 01:17:47 |
Do you know what you've done? |
| 01:17:52 |
Yeah? Blow me! |
| 01:17:55 |
Really? |
| 01:18:11 |
The National Football League... |
| 01:18:13 |
... would like to offer a special thank- |
| 01:18:18 |
... and our beloved Snowflake. |
| 01:18:20 |
A great humanitarian... |
| 01:18:22 |
... and a lover of all animals: |
| 01:18:24 |
Mr. Ace Ventura! |
| 01:18:29 |
Get off me! |
| 01:18:32 |
Get off me! |
| 01:18:37 |
Tone, put that big-ass size 13 on |
| 01:22:08 |
English Subtitles by |
