Five Munites Of Heaven

en
00:00:47 For me to talk about the man I have become,
00:00:53 I was 14 when I joined
00:00:56 and I was 15 when I joined the UVF,
00:01:02 At that time, don't forget,
00:01:05 every week, petrol bombs every day
00:01:09 When you got home and switched on the TV, you could
00:01:15 And it was like we were under siege.
00:01:22 Fathers and brothers of friends
00:01:25 And the feeling was,
00:01:30 We're all in this together
00:02:23 The Republican Clubs Thanks.
00:02:28 And after the overnight shootings in
00:02:32 Also, as we talk to The Fianna Fail Party
00:02:37 The Republican Clubs Movement has suspended
00:02:41 after last night's
00:02:44 Despite the many shootings only one man was
00:03:23 "A Glass Of Champagne"
00:03:31 # I got the money I've got the place
00:03:34 # You've got the figure
00:03:37 # Let's get together the two of us
00:03:45 # I've got the music
00:03:46 # I've got the night
00:03:48 # You've got the figure
00:03:51 # Let's get together the two of us
00:03:59 # I've been waiting
00:04:00 # Much too long
00:04:02 # For this moment to come along
00:04:06 # Oh yeah
00:04:08 # Oh yeah. #
00:05:02 Come on, come on, come on.
00:05:04 Fuck!
00:05:05 Come on, Mum!
00:05:07 Get down!
00:05:08 Wait...
00:05:16 Oi! Fuck! Run!
00:06:02 All right there, kid? Hi, Jim.
00:06:06 All right?
00:06:10 Heya, Da.
00:06:12 Hi, Jim. Are you ready for your tea? Thanks, Ma.
00:06:19 Hey, Jim, Chrissie called for you.
00:06:21 He asked if you were going out laterI called him earlier.
00:06:25 One, two, three, four, five,
00:06:30 eight, nine, ten.
00:06:50 OK.
00:07:06 One, two, three!
00:07:18 Come on! I'm doing it! They'll know!
00:07:24 THEY CHUCKLE
00:07:32 They've left us some buns.
00:07:34 We've four fucking buns!
00:07:35 What sort of buns? Iced.
00:07:38 Pink! How did they know?
00:07:41 Ah, fucking hell. Eh?
00:07:44 Fucking hell!
00:07:51 All right, Stuart?
00:07:56 All right there, Mr Little,
00:07:58 Hello, Stuart. Hello.
00:08:00 He is still alive, isn't he?
00:08:04 I like this fella here.
00:08:05 Aye, he's not bad.
00:08:08 All right. I'll see you later.
00:08:11 No drinking now. No, Mum.
00:08:14 Sure, he's a lemonade boy,
00:08:18 You have a nice evening.
00:08:23 Did Sammy visit?
00:08:27 So what's the craic? I'll tell you in the car.
00:08:40 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44...
00:08:46 45, 46, 47, 48... Go into the house.
00:08:50 Yes, Ma. Now! Yes, Ma.
00:08:52 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56
00:08:58 57, 58...
00:09:00 See you later, kiddo. ..60, 61...All right, Joe. ..62,
00:09:03 63, 64, 65, 66...
00:09:19 All right, lads. Where did youThe Windsor.Does it run OK? Aye, it's OK.
00:09:26 Craig's barn.
00:09:55 OK, Stuart, open the bag.
00:10:04 He's wanting us to dig his gardens.
00:10:11 Right, this is what's going down.
00:10:14 You know Colin who works at Castle's
00:10:19 The Provies told him that if he
00:10:21 so I sent the message back, "If you don't
00:10:26 They haven't withdrawn the threat.
00:10:32 So this is our first kill, boys.
00:10:34 I told Sammy that I wanted to do it. He said he'd check
00:10:39 He came back to me
00:10:42 "The hit's yours," he said. He told me
00:10:46 You don't ask that.
00:10:49 It's a 38. Smith and Wesson.
00:10:53 Nah, Stuart, this is better than
00:10:56 With this, you know, it's not going
00:10:59 you know, standing there
00:11:04 Enough.
00:11:06 He must be reckoning we're good
00:11:10 Well, this is the one I asked for
00:11:13 Sammy,
00:11:16 He just looked us in the eyes like
00:11:21 I'm telling you, it was a good feeling. We'll
00:11:27 I can't wait for that.
00:11:28 We have to do it first, mind.
00:11:30 Can I hold it?
00:11:34 Give us a wee jig of it after you,
00:11:38 Hey, give us a look.
00:11:41 Fucking hell, man!
00:11:49 Powerful, isn't it? Mad, isn't it?
00:11:53 Who is it?
00:11:55 Griffin.
00:11:57 Griffin? He was warned to leave
00:12:01 Hang on, Jim Griffin.
00:12:02 Aye. I know him. That's right.
00:12:05 Albert Street, aren't they?
00:12:07 He's leaving the yard anyway,
00:12:10 Griffin, is he?
00:12:14 Oh, you meanAye,
00:12:18 Hang on, can't be here in Lurgan.
00:12:20 Surely now, not two masons' yards
00:12:22 They're going to be up
00:12:24 That's what I'm hearing. Well, he's still in Castle's
00:12:31 She's our dinner lady
00:12:34 Aye, I know the woman you mean. I don't
00:12:38 Sure her sister Catherine
00:12:40 So is that her son we're doing?It's not Albert Street.
00:12:43 They used to be, I'm sure of it.It's Hill Street.
00:12:46 It's 37 Hill Street.
00:12:47 58, 59, 60, 61, 62,
00:12:52 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68...
00:12:59 Go on in now, son. And doYes, Da.
00:13:02 ..72, 73, 74, 75,
00:13:05 76, 77, 78,
00:13:07 79, 80, 81,
00:13:09 82, 83, 84...
00:13:18 When we've done it, we burn the car,
00:13:21 we call Sammy and we go to the hop. We get seen
00:13:27 Let's go.
00:14:34 37? You sure?
00:14:36 Aye, it's left.
00:14:42 Army! Down!
00:14:49 What's happened?
00:14:53 They're passing.
00:14:55 Go right.They've seen me indicating left now.
00:14:57 Go left then.
00:14:59 Just take us round the block, Andy.
00:15:10 Oh, fuck! What is it?
00:15:12 Lights have gone red. Where are
00:15:16 Are they staying in the vehicle?
00:15:22 Alistair,
00:15:25 Let's get out of here.
00:15:27 Aye, do you want to get out of here?No, don't! No!
00:15:29 Sammy'll think we've chickened. Are they
00:15:38 Oh, fuck, Alistair!
00:15:39 Stay down!
00:15:50 We're off!
00:16:04 You play golf?
00:16:06 Did you watch me play? Joe. Didn't you do well!
00:16:10 I didn't do too badly. I should really?!
00:16:17 Oh! I've scored already!
00:16:21 ..123, 124...
00:16:23 Joe? ..125...
00:16:25 Come on, son.
00:16:26 I'm almost setting a record! 128,
00:16:28 129, 130,
00:16:30 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137...
00:17:38 I've scored. Go! Go!
00:18:04 They have a 14-month-old
00:18:26 Let's go.
00:18:36 Hi, Alistair. Hiya. Enjoy
00:18:40 "Dyna-Mite" by Mud
00:18:44 # And the party turned insane
00:18:47 She called out her na-a-a-ame
00:18:55 # And then she walked in
00:18:58 # She said, "Now come along
00:19:02 # And the way she's moving
00:19:06 # Light you up with all she's
00:19:09 # ..She's got the whole town
00:19:11 # Nobody quite knowing what to do
00:19:15 # But they all know Dyna is dynamite
00:19:18 # And they're right... #
00:19:49 No! You stop it, Mummy! Why didn't you do something?!
00:19:52 You didn't do anything!
00:19:54 Stop it, Mummy! Stop it!
00:19:56 You could have stopped him
00:20:00 Please, Mummy! Stop it, Mummy,
00:20:03 Why didn't you? You killed him!
00:20:06 You killed him! NO! Ssh!
00:20:09 NO! NO!
00:20:12 ..NO!
00:20:24 Never knew why that picture
00:20:27 and the other one. Don't know
00:20:31 I mean...?' What the fuck?
00:20:35 Sorry, what did you say? What?
00:20:37 Did you not just say something?
00:20:40 Was I talking to myself?
00:20:42 It gets me a good seat. I've had
00:20:48 One on one. For fuck's sake.
00:20:51 I mean, for fuck's sake.
00:20:56 Would you turn back?Are you wanting me to turn back?
00:21:00 I'd love you for it. I think I
00:21:04 I can take you back when I've got I'd rather eat my two
00:21:26 Jesus, I mean...
00:21:35 Do you want me to call them?
00:21:40 No, you go on. You do your job.
00:21:44 They said to get you there.
00:21:47 And what? And what? Well, I know you have to
00:21:52 I mean did you say
00:21:55 You mean they mean I wouldn't get you there,
00:22:00 It's something like that.
00:22:03 No, you drive, you do your job.
00:22:07 Do you mind? I don't want you
00:22:10 I mean, Jesus, I'm in trouble, I can't have
00:22:31 So that last one you did, Alistair,
00:22:36 Kosovans. Kosovans.Aye, Albanian and Serb they are.
00:22:40 Aye, that's the one!That worked out quite nicely.
00:22:43 So,
00:22:46 They did, about six months ago now.
00:22:49 I was looking out for it.Actually, I didn't see it myself.
00:22:56 Swanning around the world
00:23:00 A ticket to paradise.
00:23:07 For killing a man! I mean, where
00:23:11 40 years in the factory in Lurgan making egg
00:23:16 He can make a living telling the Pope
00:23:20 how it feels to kill a man. How it feels,
00:23:26 Why should you get women in pastel
00:23:29 giving you tea and buns and wine from fucking
00:23:33 to be putting three bullets into my brother's head?
00:23:42 Fuck! Jesus Christ!
00:23:44 Sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
00:23:46 You made me jump!What do you think it does to me?
00:23:50 I'm one fuck of a lot closer to me
00:23:59 So is this another one of your
00:24:04 No. Well, kind of.
00:24:07 It's a programme
00:24:10 My own, in fact. It's my own.
00:24:12 I'm to meet the brother
00:24:20 Is that where we're going now? Aye.
00:24:24 Have you not met him yet? No.
00:24:27 No, not since the day.
00:24:29 Well, did you ask for this?
00:24:32 That was never
00:24:35 I don't have the right
00:24:38 So did he call you or...?
00:24:41 No, the programme people,
00:24:44 Then me.
00:24:46 I said I'd be I'd be willing t-to,
00:24:50 If it's a meeting he wants I'd be
00:24:56 I'd do anything to...
00:25:00 You know, to...
00:25:05 Did you do time for it, Alistair?Aye.
00:25:08 There was no release date
00:25:18 You could have stopped him!
00:25:21 Why didn't you stop him?!
00:25:25 You could have stopped him!
00:25:43 Can you stop the car?
00:26:11 Can I get you anything?
00:26:14 You want some water?
00:26:37 He was only a wee boy at the time,
00:26:41 And is it just the brother
00:26:44 Aye.
00:26:46 Aye...
00:26:48 It's...
00:26:51 His father died eight months later.
00:26:53 A heart attack.
00:26:55 A broken heart, the family said.
00:26:59 His brother, Daniel,
00:27:03 After that, his mother, she died.
00:27:12 It's what happens.
00:27:14 It's often what happens.
00:27:20 To the family, you know.
00:27:26 It's the part people
00:27:32 What happens after.
00:27:35 Paddy Barnes
00:27:38 with a bronze medal
00:27:40 after losing in his semifinal bout
00:27:42 against Chinese world champion,
00:27:45 The defeat was comprehensive,
00:27:57 You OK?
00:27:59 Carry on?
00:28:03 Aye.
00:28:24 Is it good pay you get?
00:28:26 It's not bad.
00:28:29 Are you thinking of it?
00:28:33 It looks comfy.
00:28:39 Would I need a driving licence?
00:28:42 There's always
00:28:54 She's been staring at me
00:28:57 What it's like?
00:28:59 Your mother blaming you
00:29:02 Three bullets went into his head.
00:29:05 Did you know another one
00:29:08 It wasn't me who broke that picture,
00:29:12 and if it wasn't me who broke the picture on
00:29:17 I didn't kill him
00:29:20 It was you in the car
00:29:23 and shooting three bullets
00:29:25 making her grieve the way she did,
00:29:29 Well, I'm the one
00:29:31 I'm the one in the car now.
00:29:33 I'm the one in the car now.
00:29:41 Is this it? This is it.
00:29:50 Yes, it's Paul here.
00:29:51 We're just coming in now.
00:29:54 ..Yes, he is.
00:29:56 Right.
00:29:58 Jesus, will you look
00:30:20 Joe, hi! How are you?
00:30:23 Aye, good! Good.
00:30:25 You've made good time, well done!I was just sitting in the back.
00:30:29 This is David, Michael's assistant.Pleased to meet you.
00:30:32 Hi. Come on inside
00:30:36 It'll be grand.
00:30:37 Michael is this way, Mr Griffin.
00:30:42 HUBBUB
00:30:46 Mr Griffin is stepping
00:30:48 It's an interesting staircase. You sort of
00:30:53 I could move in here.
00:30:54 It's yours for one day, at any rate. We've
00:30:59 Come in and meet the crew. Aye.
00:31:04 Joe, you know Stephanie, don't you?
00:31:06 They didn't tell me you'd arrived.
00:31:09 Aye, you too.John, video technician.
00:31:12 Pleased to meet you. Hello.Martin, camera. Hello.
00:31:15 Well, here you are, pal. A fully signed up
00:31:20 Men in love with donkeys, twins
00:31:24 elephant women who can't get
00:31:30 I know, it's all a bit, you know...
00:31:32 But they're all lovely people,
00:31:33 and they're very experienced
00:31:36 Fiona'll take you upstairs. Yeah.
00:31:39 OK, this way.
00:31:47 So, did you get that
00:31:50 When we last spoke on the phone,
00:31:53 Oh, aye.
00:31:59 Here we are.
00:32:01 Isn't it gorgeous?
00:32:04 Can I smoke? Um...yeah.
00:32:07 Over there on the balcony.
00:32:09 Now, what can I get you? Tea or
00:32:13 Yeah? Milk, sugar?
00:32:14 Aye, milk, two sugars. Thank you.No problem.
00:32:27 Joe...
00:32:31 How are you?Yeah, good. Aye, I'm good.
00:32:35 Thank you so much for coming.That's OK, aye.
00:32:38 How are you feeling?Aye, I'm OK. I'm OK, aye.
00:32:41 Everybody looking after you? Aye.
00:32:42 Good. I know it's going to be
00:32:47 But we will do everything we
00:32:50 it goes the way you want it to.
00:32:52 So, if there's anything you need,
00:32:55 anything you're worried about,
00:32:58 basically, we're here for you.
00:32:59 OK. So it's very important
00:33:01 that you let us know if things
00:33:04 Now, has Fiona taken you through
00:33:07 OK, good.
00:33:09 Just to briefly put you in the picture
00:33:13 Now, you've got time to settle down
00:33:17 Will you have someone
00:33:20 Then, at some point, a make-up girl
00:33:24 you know, on your face.
00:33:26 Sometimes the camera
00:33:29 So, she only needs a few minutes.
00:33:31 Then, when you're ready,
00:33:35 filming, up here.
00:33:37 And then, at around 12,
00:33:40 we can go downstairs and...
00:33:43 Aye. OK, good.
00:33:46 So, in terms of
00:33:51 it's important to remember,
00:33:54 where we are trying to get to
00:33:58 Yes, I know, I know what you want.
00:34:00 Shake his fucking hand
00:34:02 The last thing I want to do is push you into
00:34:07 But it's important for us to
00:34:11 Do you understand what I'm saying?
00:34:13 Aye. Aye, I understand.I know it's difficult.
00:34:16 Which is why
00:34:19 but I do want you
00:34:22 What I'm saying really is,
00:34:27 Michael? Yeah.
00:34:29 Sorry. Yeah, I'm coming.
00:34:32 And you know, we are all
00:34:37 I can't tell you how important
00:34:39 I think this is going to be
00:34:41 well,
00:34:44 This is the question
00:34:47 Truth and reconciliation.
00:34:50 What's at stake?
00:34:52 Is it possible?
00:34:55 That's it. Speech over.
00:35:02 I can do handshakes, Michael!
00:35:06 I can do handshake and victim
00:35:09 But I've made a decision
00:35:12 Reconciliation?
00:35:15 You have no idea.
00:35:17 A handshake?
00:35:18 For killing my brother?
00:35:22 33 years of that?
00:35:24 What do you think I am, a joke?
00:35:27 If ever a man deserved a knife run
00:35:38 Truth and reconciliation?
00:35:42 I'm going for revenge.
00:35:52 Oh, hi. I'm Vika.
00:35:57 Your tea. Oh, aye. Thanks.
00:35:59 I'm the runner. The runner?
00:36:02 Do you mind
00:36:06 Oh, no, no, no...
00:36:07 No, no, of course you can!
00:36:12 Here, have one of mine.It's OK, I...
00:36:14 No, Jesus, come on! Thank you.
00:36:21 Here.
00:36:27 Thank you.
00:36:29 You stay out here with me and thanks, but I...
00:36:33 I'm the star of the show.
00:36:35 I've come to look after you
00:36:38 Everyone's looking after me! They're
00:36:45 You're a what? A runner?Yeah, it means I run around
00:36:50 A dogsbody, then! A dogsbody?
00:36:52 No, no! Runner's better -
00:37:11 Young Fiona here visited me
00:37:14 said she was a researcher
00:37:17 She was all posh and lovely, her
00:37:21 and the weather's
00:37:23 and every time she turns,
00:37:25 Would she smile at me if she didn't know
00:37:29 She'd call the police.
00:37:30 Ah! Fuck, I would! So, anyway,
00:37:35 And now look
00:37:42 Maybe it's a good thing
00:37:50 Where are you from?
00:37:51 Vladivostok.
00:37:53 Vladivostok AND Belfast?
00:37:57 I like it here.
00:37:59 I like you here too. I like you!
00:38:01 So, she was sitting in my kitchen,
00:38:03 this is an important programme
00:38:05 about men who have become the man
00:38:07 that you have become,
00:38:10 Then she said it's more about
00:38:12 "That's what excites us all
00:38:15 She had the light in her eyes,
00:38:17 "It's about healing", she said.
00:38:20 "What is that?" I said.
00:38:23 "No", she said, smiling.
00:38:25 We want you to meet the man who
00:38:32 I don't know. The thing is, it isn't
00:38:37 and I wasn't really listening
00:38:40 It's just that...
00:38:43 she showed me a little kindness.
00:38:47 Well, I'm sure...
00:38:50 I fucking hate kindness.
00:38:52 I let it in then, but never again.
00:39:01 The trouble with me is,
00:39:06 But him? Oh, his feelings?
00:39:08 They are just right, just perfect!
00:39:10 He did it in cold blood, but now
00:39:13 "What is it like to kill a man," they all
00:39:17 And off he goes again, telling
00:39:20 But hats off to him,
00:39:22 He knows they all love
00:39:27 Is there someone with him? Oh, yes.Yes. That's important, you know?
00:39:31 Whatever he tells you
00:39:33 he's going to be very angry.
00:39:36 That anger could go in any direction.
00:39:39 You have to be prepared
00:39:41 We're not performing monkeys. No.
00:39:43 I realise
00:39:45 but what's happening to him
00:39:47 Yes, absolutely. You have to make
00:39:51 "Listen to him", they will say, "and there is hope
00:39:56 "Do this gig well here and I've got another
00:40:00 "I can talk about that day then and
00:40:03 "how I came face to face
00:40:05 "and how it was the final act in my
00:40:09 "and how listening to me is
00:40:12 "And with their cheques in my pocket, I
00:40:15 "and I will heal them with my words,
00:40:17 "I won't have to work in a fucking
00:40:20 So!
00:40:23 The man shot my brother
00:40:25 The man is having the life of Riley.
00:40:28 Do I shake his hand
00:40:36 Well, killing him
00:40:38 For sure of that! But it wouldn't
00:40:43 Oh, not good for me?
00:40:48 My five minutes of heaven?
00:40:51 How would that be not good for me?
00:40:53 KNOCK ON DOOR
00:40:56 Joe, hi! Everything OK?
00:40:58 They're just doing a wee bit of filming
00:41:02 Can Cathy come in and do a wee bit
00:41:05 Aye. OK, aye. Hi, Joe.
00:41:07 I'm Cathy. How are you, all right?
00:41:09 Good, aye. I'm good. Lovely!
00:41:11 I just want to sit you down here.
00:41:14 There we go.
00:41:17 That's lovely.
00:41:20 Now, this is just
00:41:23 Fuck, am I shining?
00:41:24 OK, Alistair, the camera's running,
00:41:33 In order for me...
00:41:36 In order for me to talk about the man I have
00:41:41 I was 14 when I joined
00:41:43 and I was 15 when I joined the UVF,
00:41:49 The situation at that time,
00:41:53 Cut there. Sorry, that's very good
00:41:56 That's really good.
00:41:59 OK? OK, we're good to go again.
00:42:03 Running up.And in your own time, Alistair.
00:42:13 For me to talk about the man I have become,
00:42:19 I was 14
00:42:21 and I was 15 when I joined the UVF.
00:42:25 At that time, don't forget, there
00:42:29 petrol bombs every day.
00:42:30 And that was just in our town.
00:42:32 When you got home
00:42:34 you could see it was happening
00:42:37 and it was like we were under siege.
00:42:39 Fathers and brothers of friends
00:42:43 and the feeling was,
00:42:46 We're all in this together
00:42:50 The thing you have to remember,
00:42:53 what you have to understand,
00:42:56 Once you have signed up to terror
00:43:01 the group,
00:43:04 It becomes only our story
00:43:06 Not their story,
00:43:09 It's only my people that are being
00:43:12 and who need looking after.
00:43:14 Catholics being killed
00:43:16 And so when I went up to Sammy,
00:43:21 and told him
00:43:24 it wasn't a wrong thing
00:43:26 In my head, it was the proper, the
00:43:32 And so it was easy.
00:43:35 When I got to the house,
00:43:38 I didn't expect him to be there,
00:43:42 I only looked at him for a moment
00:43:45 But if I had known
00:43:48 I would have shot him as well.
00:43:51 It was in the mindset.
00:43:53 It was tit for tat
00:43:59 That's what it was like.
00:44:01 I was only 17.
00:44:04 I had seen my people fighting
00:44:07 You take sides
00:44:10 but we weren't just throwing stones
00:44:12 we were shooting guns.
00:44:16 What I want to tell people,
00:44:19 is to stop people getting to the
00:44:23 Because when you get to that point,
00:44:25 No-one's going to stop you.
00:44:29 And once you're in,
00:44:32 You will kill anyone on the other
00:44:37 Once your man has joined the group,
00:44:40 And what he needs to hear
00:44:42 are voices on his own side
00:44:48 There were no voices on my side.
00:44:52 Not on my estate.
00:44:54 No-one was telling me anything
00:44:58 It was only in prison
00:45:02 And the Muslims now, you know,
00:45:06 They need to hear those voices now,
00:45:08 stopping them from thinking
00:45:10 They need their own people
00:45:12 That's where they need to hear it.
00:45:14 That's where I would put my money,
00:45:16 on making those voices heard
00:45:23 When I got home, my mother
00:45:26 and it came on the news
00:45:30 I was so excited
00:45:32 for when I would get
00:45:35 Sammy was going to come
00:45:37 He was going to lead me out
00:45:40 and proudly walk me into the bar
00:45:43 and everybody was going to stand up
00:45:47 I would have shot anyone for that.
00:45:50 And that is why I talk to anybody
00:45:53 to tell them to stop boys
00:45:56 that to shoot an innocent and a
00:46:08 Alistair, when he comes into
00:46:14 Well, what I have to do
00:46:18 That is the most difficult thing, but
00:46:22 is to be honest with him.
00:46:26 Cut.
00:46:28 Good.
00:46:31 Fantastic.
00:46:40 Thank you. That was perfect. Yeah.
00:46:42 Once he's in the room with you,
00:46:46 I mean, is it likely
00:46:51 Michael, Michael...
00:46:53 He doesn't want to hear me say
00:46:57 Reconciliation is not on the agenda.
00:46:59 That's not what he needs.
00:47:00 He has come here and I have come here
00:47:45 Hiya, Joe. Ah, here he is.
00:47:48 I wondered if I could sort you out
00:47:51 Where are you putting that?How are we doing? Ready to go?
00:47:54 I just need to clip this on here.
00:47:56 How are you feeling? Aye, OK.
00:47:58 What about if I put it in here?
00:48:01 Thank you. You sure?
00:48:03 Aye, OK.Just need to clip this on here.
00:48:08 All right, that's it. OK. Good.
00:48:12 What we're gonna do now, we are
00:48:15 Now, the cameraman will be filming
00:48:18 S
00:48:23 ..Joe?
00:48:26 Yeah, Joe?
00:48:27 Going downstairs, aye.
00:48:29 Now, when you open the door
00:48:31 make sure you open the door wide
00:48:36 OK? Aye.
00:48:38 What the cameraman will be doing,
00:48:41 and somebody else'll be
00:48:44 Aye. Clear? Aye.
00:48:47 Sure? Aye, I'm sure. OK.
00:49:05 OK, here you are.
00:49:11 OK, we're ready. ..OK.
00:49:14 Quiet please! Running up.
00:49:22 Joe, whenever you're ready.
00:50:16 Shit! Cut! What?Sorry, I nearly fell there.
00:50:19 Sorry, Joe. These things happen. I'm
00:50:23 Would you mind
00:50:25 the walk down the stairsAye, OK.
00:50:30 Sorry, Joe. Thank you.
00:50:36 OK, guys, let's rehearse our moves
00:50:39 Then we'll go again.
00:50:47 Can I get a drink of water, please?
00:50:49 ..Oh, yeah.
00:51:00 Stay with him.
00:51:21 So, you're still looking after me,
00:51:26 I just want to say...
00:51:30 But he seems a nice man. Who does?
00:51:33 Mr Little.
00:51:38 Have you met him? Yes.
00:51:39 Where? In Belfast.
00:51:43 I didn't know that.Yes, I was delivering something.
00:51:47 To his home? Yes.
00:51:48 Did you go in? Yes.
00:51:50 Where was that? City centre...
00:51:53 um...
00:51:55 ..beside the motorway.
00:51:57 It's a flat, then, is it?Yes, a flat.
00:52:00 So, he let you in, did he?I didn't stay long, I...
00:52:04 What was it like?
00:52:05 His flat? What was it like?
00:52:07 It was like...cold.
00:52:11 Empty. Empty?
00:52:14 Like not a home.
00:52:16 Not a happy place.
00:52:19 Was it?
00:52:20 I didn't like it.
00:52:22 Is he on his own, then?
00:52:24 Yes. Is he? But you liked him?
00:52:27 Yes.
00:52:29 What did you talk about?
00:52:31 About this.
00:52:33 This meeting. What did he say?
00:52:35 Well, he was worried about it.Oh, I bet he was!
00:52:38 He was worried for you.
00:52:40 DOOR OPENS
00:52:42 Joe, ready whenever you are. OK.
00:52:45 What do you...?
00:52:47 Will you let me finish my ciggie?
00:52:51 Aye, yeah, sure... Fine.
00:52:56 Worried for me? What do you mean,
00:52:59 That... He said he thought
00:53:02 He said that, did he?
00:53:04 Yes, difficult for you.
00:53:09 Did he?
00:53:13 What about him?
00:53:16 He didn't talk about himself.
00:53:19 But he seems very sad.
00:53:22 Sad?
00:53:27 I don't know, but...
00:53:29 I don't know him really,
00:53:34 Like he couldn't forgive himself
00:53:37 There's an expression
00:53:41 ..a broken man.
00:53:46 A broken man.
00:53:51 So, it's good...
00:53:55 I think.
00:53:58 Fuck!
00:54:02 Ready when you are, Joe.
00:54:04 OK?
00:54:06 Ready when you are.
00:54:11 Aye.
00:54:14 I need an end to this.
00:54:22 Everything OK?
00:54:24 Joe?
00:54:26 Everything OK?
00:54:29 Aye.
00:54:30 You ready?
00:54:31 Aye.
00:54:33 Joe, just a wee bit more here.
00:54:37 There you go.
00:54:40 Great.
00:54:58 Quiet, please!
00:55:00 Running up.
00:55:02 OK, Joe, ready when you are.
00:55:04 Joe, whenever you're ready.
00:56:11 Joe?
00:56:15 Are you all right?
00:56:17 Do you want to sit down?
00:56:18 I don't want the camera there.
00:56:21 I know, it takes some getting used.
00:56:25 Well, the thing about that...The thing is nothing!
00:56:28 Why don't we go
00:56:30 I don't want the camera in my face
00:56:34 We did agree...I don't care what we agreed to.
00:56:37 I hear what you're saying,
00:56:39 Would you like to speakStephanie?
00:56:42 They're going to be setting up,
00:56:43 so why don't we take a few moments
00:56:47 I've been upstairs to be down the
00:56:50 I will meet him! I want to meet him!
00:56:53 I understand that, Joe,
00:56:55 Joe, what we can't do is... No!
00:57:02 Joe!
00:57:44 33 years that boy has been living
00:57:50 staring at me, looking up at me,
00:57:59 Never leaving.
00:58:01 Every morning waiting for me,
00:58:04 and I know
00:58:16 I don't know what to do any more.
00:58:20 How to deal with this.
00:58:24 I feel I've come to the end
00:58:34 Time will heal, they say.
00:58:38 What everyone says about everything.
00:58:42 The years just get heavier.
00:58:43 Why don't they tell you that?
00:59:10 Can I get you anything?
00:59:12 Why do YOU think he didn't come in?
00:59:17 Too frightened?
00:59:19 You think
00:59:24 I think he wanted to kill you.
00:59:33 ..Sorry, I just have to go.
01:01:11 Guilty if I laugh.
01:01:12 Guilty if I drink.
01:01:15 Guilty if I forget.
01:01:19 How to get through a day.
01:01:24 What to do in it.
01:01:28 I wake up, I go out.
01:01:32 But where to go?
01:01:37 He's always there.
01:01:39 In my head.
01:01:44 And I don't know where to go.
01:01:49 Where to put yourself after it all.
01:01:53 It's the same for everyone.
01:01:56 Some of us have found an answer.
01:01:58 He's killed a few Catholics in his
01:02:04 Some protection thing
01:02:08 Released after the Good Friday
01:02:12 still living it,
01:02:14 with his mates watching his back,
01:02:16 breathing in
01:02:20 If I had gone with him then,
01:02:24 That's all I had to do,
01:02:28 I know that isn't my answer,
01:02:31 but what is my answer, you know?
01:02:35 I sit in meeting rooms
01:02:37 and I help men to live with
01:02:40 a child, a stranger, a neighbour,
01:02:43 how to live with that act
01:02:46 always there inside us.
01:02:49 But I can't help myself.
01:02:51 Sometimes I feel that this preacher
01:02:55 so that I can cheat my way
01:04:06 The next stop is Lurgan.
01:04:59 Tommy!
01:05:05 Boys.
01:05:10 How's things? Aye, OK.
01:05:12 Tommy!
01:05:14 It's a surprise to see you in here.
01:05:16 Would you mind getting this
01:05:19 How's Tommy? OK.
01:05:22 Aye.
01:05:24 Is he expecting it? No.
01:05:28 He might not take it,
01:05:31 I would appreciate that.
01:05:34 Thanks.
01:06:03 Black tea, please, love.
01:07:02 Hi, Liam.
01:07:04 Who's this from? Sean.
01:07:08 What is it?
01:07:10 A letter.
01:07:14 Can I go now?
01:07:21 What did you say? Can I go now?
01:07:31 Are you taking the girls, Joe?
01:07:34 The girls? Marion's.
01:07:36 You said you would. Marion's.
01:07:38 Oh, aye. Aye, I'm taking them.
01:07:40 They're ready now.
01:07:43 What is it? What's the matter? Little's come back.
01:07:47 He's wanting to meet with me.You're not going to meet him.
01:07:49 You're not to be calling him!
01:07:54 I should have had him. Why don't I get
01:07:58 You will fucking do nothing!
01:08:01 Joe!
01:08:06 Joe!
01:09:58 Joe?
01:10:57 Joe?
01:12:32 Come on, man!
01:12:40 Fuck you!
01:12:46 Enough...
01:12:48 Enough.
01:14:39 I'm going to Belfast
01:14:42 so I'm going to tell you
01:14:48 We were told that a Protestant
01:14:53 and if he didn't leave the yard,
01:14:56 I asked who the Catholics were
01:15:00 Somebody said Jim Griffin.
01:15:02 I said, "Tell him if he
01:15:07 I knew he was leaving anyway,
01:15:15 It was my decision. I was up
01:15:22 I wanted...to be someone.
01:15:27 I wanted to...
01:15:31 Walk in ten foot tall
01:15:32 and hear the applause from the only
01:15:36 And I heard it. And it was good.
01:15:42 Get rid of me, Joe...
01:15:44 so that when you wake up
01:15:46 it's not me's in your head,
01:15:50 Don't give them me.
01:15:52 Go home and tell them
01:15:55 That I'm gone, forever.
01:15:57 I'm nothing.
01:15:59 Nothing.
01:16:03 Go home and tell them that
01:17:25 We did everything together.
01:17:27 I don't know what is was,
01:17:31 Alan was great.
01:17:33 He liked me for who I was.
01:17:35 And he didn't care
01:17:37 Alan had no sense of smell.
01:17:44 Alan was my best friend.
01:17:46 Alan was my only friend.
01:17:51 But every day was a constant
01:17:53 And every day, I tried to avoid...
01:17:57 Damian.
01:17:59 Look who it isn't.
01:18:00 Patrick Smash.
01:18:02 What you doing in my corner
01:18:04 You ain't nothing but a big,
01:18:14 I haven't done
01:18:17 Or talked, or...
01:18:22 So...
01:18:27 I don't know what to say
01:18:32 I don't know the words,
01:18:41 I bought some sandals
01:18:43 They were all sitting in a circle,
01:18:51 Then I remembered it was a comedy.
01:19:00 But I got here eventually,
01:19:15 I want my daughters...to have a da
01:19:24 That's it.
01:19:28 That's it.
01:19:31 Well, that's it.
01:19:36 That's out.
01:19:39 That's out.
01:19:43 That's out.
01:20:04 That's out.
01:20:22 Alistair Little? Yeah?
01:20:24 It's Joe Griffin.
01:20:26 We're finished.