|
Futurama Bender s Big Score
|
| 00:00:12 |
Planet Express |
| 00:00:15 |
-Captain Turanga Leela ! |
| 00:00:18 |
Delivery boy, first class, Philip J. Fry! |
| 00:00:22 |
Here! |
| 00:00:23 |
Assistant Manager of Sales, |
| 00:00:27 |
Here! |
| 00:00:29 |
Cerveza, por favor. |
| 00:00:32 |
Long-term intern, Amy Wong. |
| 00:00:34 |
Here! |
| 00:00:37 |
Company physician, Dr. John A. Zoidberg. |
| 00:00:40 |
I thought it was mine. |
| 00:00:42 |
Bureaucrat Grade 34, Hermes Conrad |
| 00:00:46 |
is who I am. |
| 00:00:48 |
And now I am proud to present |
| 00:00:52 |
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth! |
| 00:00:57 |
You're all fired. |
| 00:00:59 |
Sweet bongo of the Congo! |
| 00:01:01 |
In fact, you were fired two years ago. |
| 00:01:04 |
That's when we were shut down |
| 00:01:10 |
Yes, I'm afraid the brainless |
| 00:01:14 |
canceled our License. |
| 00:01:19 |
We were canceled? |
| 00:01:21 |
Oh, it's terrible. Just terrible. |
| 00:01:24 |
Well, clear out your desks |
| 00:01:30 |
Yes? I see. |
| 00:01:34 |
Good news, everyone! |
| 00:01:36 |
Those asinine morons who canceled us |
| 00:01:43 |
And not just fired, but beaten up, too. |
| 00:01:49 |
In fact, most of them died |
| 00:01:56 |
And then they were ground up |
| 00:02:01 |
-Why? |
| 00:02:07 |
That soothes the fire. |
| 00:02:09 |
So what does this mean |
| 00:02:12 |
It means we're back on the air! |
| 00:02:16 |
Yes, flying on the air |
| 00:02:23 |
We're back, baby! |
| 00:02:26 |
Party! |
| 00:02:37 |
Go, go, go! |
| 00:02:39 |
Lower, lawn mower! |
| 00:02:41 |
What's the matter, robot? |
| 00:02:44 |
Yes, I do. That's how I'm built. |
| 00:02:47 |
-Hooray. |
| 00:02:48 |
You're the greatest, Bender! |
| 00:02:51 |
In Jamaica, we got |
| 00:02:55 |
Let's see you beat it, Rasta man. |
| 00:03:00 |
Let's make it interesting. |
| 00:03:07 |
Oh, flexible. |
| 00:03:17 |
Lower. |
| 00:03:20 |
The fat guy wins! |
| 00:03:21 |
Go, Hermes! |
| 00:03:24 |
That's why they call me 1 1-inch Conrad. |
| 00:03:30 |
Oh, no. |
| 00:04:49 |
Can you save Hermes, Dr. Goodensexy? |
| 00:04:52 |
I told you, my name is Dr. Cahill. |
| 00:04:54 |
Figures I'd get mangled |
| 00:04:57 |
I'm a doctor, sir. |
| 00:04:59 |
The mere fact that I'm blond |
| 00:05:01 |
full sensual lips and a steaming hot body |
| 00:05:05 |
Tell me about it. |
| 00:05:07 |
I think we've all learned a thing or two |
| 00:05:10 |
while my head's slowly dying |
| 00:05:15 |
Oh, right. Ditzy-witzy! |
| 00:05:18 |
Lars, got another jar job! |
| 00:05:21 |
Oh, sorry, Doctor. |
| 00:05:24 |
Oh, hello. |
| 00:05:26 |
What are you looking at? Is it the eye? |
| 00:05:29 |
Guilty as charged. |
| 00:05:30 |
It's a nice looking eye, |
| 00:05:32 |
-Oh. Do I know you? |
| 00:05:36 |
-Hi. I'm Lars. |
| 00:05:39 |
-Nice to meet you. |
| 00:05:43 |
Pick up ladies on your own time, |
| 00:05:46 |
Sir, you're just a little enraged |
| 00:05:53 |
Lars is so flirting with you. |
| 00:05:56 |
He is so not. He's just being polite. |
| 00:05:59 |
Who does he think he is, |
| 00:06:01 |
-You want me to beat him up? |
| 00:06:06 |
I'll show her who's immature. |
| 00:06:10 |
''Charles de Gaulle''? Never heard of you. |
| 00:06:13 |
I freed France from the Nazis and... |
| 00:06:17 |
Hey, Leela. I'm some French guy. |
| 00:06:20 |
Rock that Frenchman, baby! |
| 00:06:23 |
Oh, my poor little love pirate |
| 00:06:29 |
There, there, wife. Everything will be all... |
| 00:06:31 |
Okay, look, Hermes, |
| 00:06:33 |
-He needs a daddy. |
| 00:06:36 |
No, he got two half-daddies. |
| 00:06:38 |
-Will his body be all right? |
| 00:06:41 |
No, not soon enough. |
| 00:06:43 |
Come, Dwight, |
| 00:06:46 |
LaBarbara, no! |
| 00:06:49 |
It's okay, Hermes. We're all here for you. |
| 00:06:53 |
Good news, everyone! |
| 00:06:55 |
We've got a delivery |
| 00:07:00 |
So long, jerk. |
| 00:07:11 |
It feels great to be back at the wheel |
| 00:07:15 |
That's not the wheel. |
| 00:07:37 |
It's nice out. |
| 00:07:44 |
''You must be at least this naked''? |
| 00:07:47 |
How much nakeder could you be? |
| 00:07:48 |
Watch and learn. |
| 00:08:06 |
-You know, it's funny. |
| 00:08:08 |
Your wiener! |
| 00:08:12 |
Well, I'm going in the water |
| 00:08:16 |
-Who's with me? |
| 00:08:18 |
-I'm in. |
| 00:08:19 |
You guys go ahead. |
| 00:08:20 |
I gotta find the bartender |
| 00:08:28 |
Here's your package, sir. |
| 00:08:30 |
-Why are you talking to my penis? |
| 00:08:33 |
-Mind if I use your pen? |
| 00:08:37 |
And initial here. |
| 00:08:40 |
Thank you for using Planet Express. |
| 00:08:42 |
Hey, Fry, I didn't know |
| 00:08:46 |
Me, neither. |
| 00:08:48 |
You got a tattoo of me? |
| 00:08:50 |
Neat. It's like looking in a smelly mirror. |
| 00:08:53 |
So he's got a little ink. Big whoop. |
| 00:09:05 |
Sweet photons. |
| 00:09:07 |
I don't know if you're waves or particles, |
| 00:09:11 |
Sir, would you care to sign our petition? |
| 00:09:13 |
I support and oppose many things, |
| 00:09:18 |
That's just what the guys |
| 00:09:19 |
who oppose the things |
| 00:09:22 |
Really? Down with those guys! |
| 00:09:26 |
And we'll need your e-mail address. |
| 00:09:30 |
They say you shouldn't give out |
| 00:09:32 |
Right. That's just |
| 00:09:36 |
Them again? |
| 00:09:43 |
I don't quite understand |
| 00:09:47 |
Animals? |
| 00:09:51 |
And your e-mail address. |
| 00:09:53 |
-You won't send me any spam, will you? |
| 00:09:58 |
Asterisk. |
| 00:10:00 |
You've got spam. |
| 00:10:03 |
Spam, spam, junk. |
| 00:10:06 |
The very last pygmy rhino |
| 00:10:09 |
Unless it gets my credit card number? |
| 00:10:12 |
Spam. Spam. |
| 00:10:14 |
''Hi. How are you?'' |
| 00:10:18 |
Hi, how are you? |
| 00:10:20 |
Low, Iow prices |
| 00:10:22 |
sleeping pills, oId-person drugs, |
| 00:10:26 |
Antidepressants? |
| 00:10:28 |
Well, I certainly don't want |
| 00:10:30 |
Please enter credit card number. |
| 00:10:32 |
Is cash okay? |
| 00:10:36 |
Porn. Porn. Free porn. |
| 00:10:42 |
I find that rather hard to believe. |
| 00:10:52 |
''Top-quality.'' |
| 00:10:58 |
I'm waiting for porn over here. |
| 00:11:01 |
Oh, yeah, come on, baby. |
| 00:11:12 |
Friends, friends! |
| 00:11:14 |
His Majesty Prince Adisaraki O. Zoidberg |
| 00:11:18 |
That's so sad. |
| 00:11:22 |
When will those antidepressants get here? |
| 00:11:24 |
Wait, there's more. |
| 00:11:26 |
According to this e-mail, |
| 00:11:30 |
Once I wire some good-faith money |
| 00:11:33 |
I'll inherit his kingdom, |
| 00:11:38 |
You dumb stumps. |
| 00:11:41 |
That is low, Hermes. |
| 00:11:43 |
Just because you don't have a body, |
| 00:11:45 |
you don't want anyone else |
| 00:11:48 |
Well, try and stop me |
| 00:11:54 |
What's going on here? |
| 00:11:55 |
According to |
| 00:11:58 |
you've all been giving out |
| 00:12:02 |
If Hermes were here, he'd fire you all. |
| 00:12:05 |
-I am here. |
| 00:12:07 |
In his absence, I'm calling |
| 00:12:11 |
To the mandatorium ! |
| 00:12:16 |
Now, it's not hard to spot |
| 00:12:19 |
''Get rich quick x7 q''? Phony. |
| 00:12:23 |
''Lose weight with space parasites''? |
| 00:12:28 |
What's this? |
| 00:12:33 |
No, it's a scam ! |
| 00:12:34 |
Yes, yes, a scam. My goodness, I'm rich! |
| 00:12:39 |
And to think I didn't even know |
| 00:12:43 |
I just need to wire some collateral |
| 00:12:46 |
Professor, stop! |
| 00:12:49 |
I can afford to give away anything I want. |
| 00:12:54 |
-No, don't! |
| 00:12:56 |
Why won't anybody listen to me? |
| 00:12:58 |
And my mother's maiden name |
| 00:13:03 |
There! |
| 00:13:05 |
I'm rich. Rich. Rich! |
| 00:13:10 |
That must be my $400 now. |
| 00:13:14 |
Hello. Or should I say, '"Buenos dias '"? |
| 00:13:18 |
Hi. We own your company now. |
| 00:13:24 |
I'll deal with these guys. |
| 00:13:27 |
Welcome, boss. |
| 00:13:32 |
Guess I was wrong. |
| 00:13:33 |
There was a robot stupid enough |
| 00:13:36 |
I sure was. Make a hole, chumps. |
| 00:13:43 |
Presenting our new masters! |
| 00:13:58 |
Where shall I put these auto-dialers, |
| 00:14:01 |
Between the password crank |
| 00:14:04 |
Come on! |
| 00:14:06 |
And bring me some more Gummi Fungus! |
| 00:14:12 |
We don't have to stand here |
| 00:14:16 |
-Yeah! |
| 00:14:24 |
Now get back to work, you turkeys. |
| 00:14:26 |
Planet Express is still in business. |
| 00:14:28 |
We've got crap loads of |
| 00:14:34 |
Ship them out, Your Highness. |
| 00:14:35 |
Finally, some respect. |
| 00:14:41 |
I feel a little better. |
| 00:14:48 |
Those marvelous scammers |
| 00:14:51 |
How can you just sit there |
| 00:14:54 |
Don't you realize |
| 00:14:57 |
Of course I realize it. |
| 00:15:01 |
Boy, were we suckers. |
| 00:15:05 |
Greetings, earthlings. |
| 00:15:06 |
Oh, hooray. |
| 00:15:11 |
Hello, everyone who isn't Leela. |
| 00:15:12 |
And a special hello to everyone else. |
| 00:15:16 |
Shut your lockers and get to class. |
| 00:15:18 |
-How's my body doing? |
| 00:15:21 |
The museum got tricked |
| 00:15:23 |
to something called |
| 00:15:27 |
It's a fake place. |
| 00:15:29 |
Cut to the chase, baldy. |
| 00:15:32 |
Well, it could be months, or even years. |
| 00:15:35 |
No! That body's |
| 00:15:38 |
What's LaBarbara going to do? |
| 00:15:41 |
She's going to go back |
| 00:15:43 |
Barbados Slim? I love that guy. |
| 00:15:47 |
Everybody loves Slim. |
| 00:15:49 |
He's the only man to ever win |
| 00:15:52 |
in both limbo and sex. |
| 00:15:54 |
Well, maybe I should get going. |
| 00:15:56 |
-Yes, I'll show you out. |
| 00:16:00 |
No, Leela will show you out. |
| 00:16:02 |
Me. Leela. |
| 00:16:05 |
So your friend, Fry, seems nice. |
| 00:16:07 |
-Are you and he dating? |
| 00:16:09 |
Good, because I was maybe thinking |
| 00:16:13 |
I'll start maybe thinking about saying, |
| 00:16:17 |
Let me maybe give it some thought. |
| 00:16:20 |
-Tomorrow at 8:00? |
| 00:16:27 |
It's no fair. I've loved Leela |
| 00:16:31 |
Did I show you the macaroni valentine |
| 00:16:34 |
Yes. |
| 00:16:35 |
Look at it again. |
| 00:16:37 |
I know she thinks I'm immature, |
| 00:16:40 |
And deep down in my heart, |
| 00:16:44 |
It's all there in the macaroni. |
| 00:16:46 |
Lars asked me out. |
| 00:16:55 |
-What are you doing, wonderful masters? |
| 00:17:07 |
Oh! There's something here. |
| 00:17:11 |
Robot, tear it open! |
| 00:17:12 |
Goody, goody, goody, goody! |
| 00:17:20 |
-What's that thing on your neck? |
| 00:17:24 |
I guess. What does it do? |
| 00:17:26 |
It's a special sense organ |
| 00:17:29 |
It engorges in the presence of... |
| 00:17:32 |
Information. |
| 00:17:34 |
Lucky you. |
| 00:17:35 |
All I have is a gland |
| 00:17:46 |
Hey, look, a safe! |
| 00:17:47 |
That's my safe. I call keep-offsies. |
| 00:17:50 |
No callsies! Open it! |
| 00:17:57 |
It's a gold mine. |
| 00:18:01 |
Combination hair, blood |
| 00:18:08 |
I don't get it. How can you say Lars |
| 00:18:11 |
Well, for one thing, |
| 00:18:20 |
-Who are you? |
| 00:18:22 |
Social Security Number 03280810? |
| 00:18:27 |
That's right. |
| 00:18:28 |
I've never detected |
| 00:18:31 |
I think it may be a Level 87 code. |
| 00:18:34 |
Level 87? Can it be? |
| 00:18:37 |
I thought it was only a legend, |
| 00:18:46 |
-It's in his pants! |
| 00:18:59 |
Faster, faster! |
| 00:19:00 |
I'm science-ing as fast as I can. |
| 00:19:12 |
What do you say, folks? Hot or not? |
| 00:19:14 |
I'm not seeing any information. |
| 00:19:24 |
You, boogerbot, |
| 00:19:27 |
-Who the hell is he? |
| 00:19:30 |
Hang on, Scruffy! |
| 00:19:32 |
''Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero, zero, |
| 00:19:35 |
''zero, one, one, one, one, zero, |
| 00:19:38 |
''one, one, zero, one, one, zero, |
| 00:19:58 |
A time sphere. |
| 00:20:00 |
Naked brothers, we have sprunjed |
| 00:20:02 |
upon the universal machine |
| 00:20:05 |
The key to time travel. |
| 00:20:09 |
What's the secret of time travel doing |
| 00:20:13 |
It was bound to be somewhere. |
| 00:20:14 |
Beyond this shimmering portal lie |
| 00:20:19 |
And we can steal them ! |
| 00:20:20 |
We just go to the past and take stuff |
| 00:20:29 |
Stop, you fools. |
| 00:20:32 |
-What's going on? |
| 00:20:34 |
Nibbler, you... You can talk? |
| 00:20:36 |
I can do more than talk. I can pontificate. |
| 00:20:39 |
You must not use the code of codes. |
| 00:20:42 |
With each and every use, |
| 00:20:46 |
Oh, he's so adorable. |
| 00:20:48 |
The poodle-monkey may be right. |
| 00:20:50 |
The legend warns that the code is |
| 00:20:54 |
My God. |
| 00:20:56 |
We'd better use it only three or four times. |
| 00:20:58 |
But even a single use could shatter |
| 00:21:01 |
Got it. Two or three times. |
| 00:21:03 |
I see I have no choice. |
| 00:21:06 |
Nibblonians, attack! |
| 00:21:15 |
Hey! That tickles. |
| 00:21:22 |
And the pitch! |
| 00:21:25 |
Mayday, mayday! |
| 00:21:36 |
Hey! Hey! Hey! |
| 00:21:41 |
Scamper! |
| 00:21:48 |
Alas, our kitten-class attack ships |
| 00:21:54 |
The universe is doomed. Doomed! |
| 00:21:57 |
Can I pull up my pants now? |
| 00:21:59 |
Doomed! |
| 00:22:06 |
Stand back, you wing wangs. |
| 00:22:08 |
I'm gonna try out this time sphere |
| 00:22:12 |
Bushwa ! You can't go mucking about |
| 00:22:17 |
I'm afraid he can. |
| 00:22:21 |
It all works perfectly. |
| 00:22:26 |
Don't do it. I beg you. |
| 00:22:31 |
Yesterday, please. And make it snappy! |
| 00:22:36 |
-Hello! |
| 00:22:38 |
-Say, what the... |
| 00:22:39 |
There was one, but now there's two. |
| 00:22:42 |
Nothing gets past you, eagle eye. |
| 00:22:44 |
I went back to last night |
| 00:22:48 |
One thing led to another, |
| 00:22:51 |
Or should I say our place? |
| 00:22:57 |
Oh, come on, you bunch of prudes! |
| 00:22:59 |
This isn't merely revolting, |
| 00:23:03 |
I know a paradox when I see one. |
| 00:23:12 |
Paradox resolved. Someone get a mop! |
| 00:23:25 |
You're looking well, Pops. |
| 00:23:27 |
How can you look me in the eye-and-eye |
| 00:23:29 |
I'm nothing but a brain. |
| 00:23:33 |
You forgot lice-infested. |
| 00:23:35 |
I didn't forget, I just chose not to... |
| 00:23:38 |
Barbados Slim? |
| 00:23:41 |
What are you doing here? |
| 00:23:42 |
Is there something going on |
| 00:23:45 |
Oh, no. No, no, no. |
| 00:23:46 |
We just happened to run into each other |
| 00:23:51 |
And every night since then. |
| 00:23:55 |
You're so crazy. |
| 00:23:56 |
Woman, no! |
| 00:23:58 |
Oh, who am I kidding? |
| 00:24:02 |
I'm sorry, Hermes. But look at Barbados. |
| 00:24:08 |
No, I can't. |
| 00:24:09 |
But I can ask him to stop wiggling them |
| 00:24:13 |
I'm not wiggling them. |
| 00:24:20 |
I think I'll go back in time and steal |
| 00:24:23 |
-Or is the crack the valuable part? |
| 00:24:27 |
We have a problem, Nudar. |
| 00:24:30 |
It can take us to the past, |
| 00:24:36 |
Masters, if I might? |
| 00:24:39 |
I'll go to the past and snatch everything |
| 00:24:43 |
Then, as a robot, |
| 00:24:47 |
in the limestone cavern |
| 00:24:50 |
Oh, it'll be ever so much fun! |
| 00:24:52 |
Hey, that's perfect. |
| 00:24:54 |
We sit back and let |
| 00:24:56 |
Dumb-dumb away! |
| 00:24:59 |
Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero... |
| 00:25:04 |
Yup! |
| 00:25:09 |
The Mona Lisa! |
| 00:25:10 |
Sorry, it's not quite finished. |
| 00:25:12 |
Da Vinci give you any trouble? |
| 00:25:14 |
Let's just say he may not |
| 00:25:18 |
Preposterous twaddlecock! |
| 00:25:22 |
But, Professor, you time-traveled yourself. |
| 00:25:24 |
Remember, |
| 00:25:26 |
That proves nothing. |
| 00:25:27 |
And, furthermore, you'd think |
| 00:25:31 |
Plus, who are you, anyway? |
| 00:25:33 |
-Man, this is fun on a bun! Here I go again! |
| 00:25:37 |
Zero, zero, one, one... |
| 00:25:47 |
Scarab, forearm, bird, bird, bird. |
| 00:25:54 |
No, it's just me, Bender. |
| 00:25:58 |
I must tell you, Hedonismbot, |
| 00:26:00 |
I hate to sell my doomsday devices |
| 00:26:05 |
But with my business stolen, |
| 00:26:09 |
You will be careful? |
| 00:26:10 |
I shan't touch them till I've had Jambi |
| 00:26:15 |
-Oh! What does this one do? |
| 00:26:21 |
How delightful. And this one? |
| 00:26:24 |
Sir, the spheroboom is not for sale. |
| 00:26:29 |
It's my sentimental favorite. |
| 00:26:32 |
No need to explain. |
| 00:26:37 |
Perhaps you and I and Jambi |
| 00:26:40 |
and compare notes sometime, eh? |
| 00:26:46 |
Resulting in peace between |
| 00:26:51 |
Good God! |
| 00:26:53 |
I accept this Nobel Peace Prize |
| 00:26:56 |
but for crime robots everywhere. Skoal! |
| 00:27:10 |
Not so neutral now, are you, Sweden? |
| 00:27:27 |
Be honest with me. |
| 00:27:29 |
I don't want to look monstery |
| 00:27:32 |
At least a monster has a body. |
| 00:27:34 |
What I wouldn't give for Wolf Man's torso, |
| 00:27:39 |
I think I'll wear that slutty dress |
| 00:27:43 |
I'd like to punch Lars right |
| 00:27:53 |
Like all rich people, we're gonna need |
| 00:27:56 |
-In self-defense? |
| 00:27:59 |
Bender, go steal the doomsday device |
| 00:28:02 |
Never! |
| 00:28:03 |
I'm kidding. You guys know |
| 00:28:07 |
-Here, swap this for the real one. |
| 00:28:11 |
Yes, but don't wake him. |
| 00:28:13 |
You'll need jeweler's tools |
| 00:28:16 |
Hey. I don't tell you how |
| 00:28:18 |
so don't tell me how to do |
| 00:28:21 |
Bender knows when to use finesse. |
| 00:28:26 |
-Here you go. |
| 00:28:34 |
It's the damnedest thing. |
| 00:28:36 |
There I was in the dumpster, |
| 00:28:40 |
when suddenly your hand flies |
| 00:28:43 |
Yes, well, these things happen. |
| 00:28:46 |
Fortunately, the spheroboom is still safe. |
| 00:28:52 |
Scammed? Me? Sweetheart? |
| 00:29:00 |
You do a nice hand job, Zoidberg. |
| 00:29:02 |
Tell me, if I could find an undamaged body, |
| 00:29:07 |
Hermes, I'm a surgeon. |
| 00:29:09 |
When I see two body parts, |
| 00:29:10 |
I sew them together |
| 00:29:14 |
All I'm asking is for you to go back in time |
| 00:29:16 |
to when I still had my body |
| 00:29:19 |
-What do I do with your old head? |
| 00:29:22 |
Can do! |
| 00:29:27 |
-Come on, man! |
| 00:29:30 |
You can't hurry |
| 00:29:39 |
What are those? |
| 00:29:41 |
You incompetent crab! |
| 00:29:43 |
I thought you were happy. |
| 00:29:55 |
I believe this paradoxicality |
| 00:29:59 |
Ergo, time travel is impossible. |
| 00:30:02 |
But I can't quite prove it, Bubblegum. |
| 00:30:04 |
Perhaps you and your razzle-dazzle |
| 00:30:08 |
Looks pretty damn solvable to me, Farnsy. |
| 00:30:10 |
Sweet Clyde, use variation of parameters |
| 00:30:26 |
Shizz, baby. |
| 00:30:28 |
So paradox-free time travel |
| 00:30:31 |
Right on. But dig this multiplicand here. |
| 00:30:34 |
The ''doom field''? That must be |
| 00:30:39 |
But that mama rises exponentially. |
| 00:30:41 |
It could rupture |
| 00:30:44 |
That's what I've been trying to tell you. |
| 00:30:51 |
Hermes! You got your body back. |
| 00:30:55 |
Yes, but not the original. |
| 00:30:57 |
Bender went back in time |
| 00:30:59 |
A copy? Funky cold medina ! |
| 00:31:02 |
According to this equation, |
| 00:31:05 |
results in a complex denominator |
| 00:31:09 |
-Oh, snap! You know what that means. |
| 00:31:13 |
Actually, I can't guess. |
| 00:31:15 |
Prof, you got a doom meter in this lab? |
| 00:31:21 |
Good Lord, Bubblegum. |
| 00:31:23 |
The duplicate body is emitting doom |
| 00:31:28 |
I thought as much. |
| 00:31:31 |
It's just a matter of time. |
| 00:31:33 |
I don't care. I just need it long enough |
| 00:31:37 |
-Best bird-dog fast, my brother. |
| 00:31:47 |
Drink, quick! |
| 00:31:50 |
Wait, I... |
| 00:31:51 |
Yes! |
| 00:31:53 |
Oh, this is so much fun, Lars. |
| 00:31:55 |
Most men are intimidated by the fact |
| 00:31:57 |
that I could kill them |
| 00:31:59 |
Well, not me, 'cause if you do, |
| 00:32:03 |
Folks, you care for |
| 00:32:06 |
Please. |
| 00:32:16 |
Don't get excited, kids. |
| 00:32:20 |
Want to see it make a star? |
| 00:32:21 |
-No! |
| 00:33:33 |
Here's your Gutenberg Bible, masters. |
| 00:33:39 |
Well, that does it. |
| 00:33:46 |
Now that I'm rich, I suddenly care |
| 00:33:49 |
We can't use |
| 00:33:52 |
Blank it from the robot's memory. |
| 00:33:55 |
I'll vaporize this guy so his ass |
| 00:33:59 |
Why don't you just remove my tattoo? |
| 00:34:01 |
Nice try, |
| 00:34:03 |
No, I mightn't. |
| 00:34:04 |
I can't even remember |
| 00:34:07 |
It's Gleissner. |
| 00:34:10 |
Stupid naked aliens. Stupid Lars. |
| 00:34:13 |
I hate the future. |
| 00:34:21 |
Man, that cube root was |
| 00:34:25 |
Zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one! |
| 00:34:32 |
Blast him ! |
| 00:34:38 |
You missed. Oh, great master. |
| 00:34:49 |
Hello, 2000. |
| 00:34:51 |
I'm home. |
| 00:34:53 |
Happy New Year, naked weirdo! |
| 00:34:56 |
Happy New Year. |
| 00:35:02 |
Well, we'll never know |
| 00:35:05 |
and since we can't kill him, |
| 00:35:08 |
That's sweet, boss. |
| 00:35:10 |
Fry'll be nice and cozy |
| 00:35:13 |
What? How do you know |
| 00:35:15 |
That's where he always goes. |
| 00:35:18 |
Better play it safe. |
| 00:35:22 |
You know what to do. |
| 00:35:24 |
You want me to concludify him |
| 00:35:28 |
-Yes, and don't forget to terminate him. |
| 00:35:31 |
Preparing to terminate Philip Fry. |
| 00:35:35 |
What's with the doofy sunglasses? |
| 00:35:37 |
It's really bright in the past. |
| 00:35:39 |
Zero, zero, one, one, zero... |
| 00:35:50 |
Okay, Fry. Come to papa. |
| 00:35:55 |
Man, I'm bored. |
| 00:36:06 |
Hey, there you are. |
| 00:36:09 |
Oh, wait. |
| 00:36:13 |
I'm waiting for the one |
| 00:36:17 |
Jeez, this is confusing. |
| 00:36:19 |
And I bet it's gonna get |
| 00:36:25 |
That cheap beer |
| 00:36:27 |
For the first time ever, |
| 00:36:30 |
But if I leave, I might miss Fry. |
| 00:36:32 |
Unless... |
| 00:36:35 |
Zero, zero, |
| 00:36:40 |
And I bet it's gonna get |
| 00:36:44 |
Hi, I'm you from 19 seconds in the future. |
| 00:36:48 |
Stay here and wait for Fry |
| 00:36:50 |
Okay, boss. |
| 00:36:52 |
After I kill Fry, you're next. |
| 00:36:54 |
-What? |
| 00:36:59 |
What the... Who are you? |
| 00:37:01 |
I'm Bender from way at the end. |
| 00:37:02 |
I came back to put |
| 00:37:06 |
So what are you now, a butler? |
| 00:37:08 |
Spot of tea, please, jerk wad. |
| 00:37:10 |
It's called class, you yokel. |
| 00:37:13 |
Now if you'll excuse me, |
| 00:37:28 |
Hello, 2000. |
| 00:37:30 |
Im home. |
| 00:37:31 |
Happy New Year, naked weirdo! |
| 00:37:34 |
Happy New Year. |
| 00:37:38 |
Hasta Ia vista, meat bag. |
| 00:37:41 |
Bender? What are you doing? |
| 00:37:45 |
Must obey orders. |
| 00:37:49 |
Mustn't kill friend. |
| 00:37:53 |
Badly want to urinate! |
| 00:37:56 |
-What's happening? Are you urinating? |
| 00:38:01 |
Crap, I hate auto-destruct sequence. |
| 00:38:04 |
Explosion in seven, six... |
| 00:38:09 |
lt'll be a cold day in hell, my friend. |
| 00:38:12 |
Five... Hey, Im supposed to be |
| 00:38:23 |
Hey! |
| 00:38:28 |
So the game |
| 00:38:31 |
Let us match wits. |
| 00:38:34 |
Oh, how am I supposed to find him? |
| 00:38:36 |
All those times he blabbed on and on |
| 00:38:41 |
if only I had paid |
| 00:38:44 |
Oh, well, guess I better go kill myself. |
| 00:38:54 |
Hello, bartender? |
| 00:38:55 |
I have thought it over, |
| 00:38:59 |
you are very nice, |
| 00:39:02 |
Take a barf, drunky. |
| 00:39:05 |
Okay, suicide booth, |
| 00:39:09 |
Electrocution, please. Side order of poison. |
| 00:39:16 |
Hello? Kill me, you stupid machine. |
| 00:39:20 |
What the... ''Local calls 50 cents''? |
| 00:39:24 |
Its a street-corner telephone parlor. |
| 00:39:27 |
What kind of horrible |
| 00:39:30 |
Wait a minute. |
| 00:39:32 |
Maybe this handy encyclopedia |
| 00:39:38 |
Fry, Fry, Fry. |
| 00:39:40 |
One of these Frys must be Fry. |
| 00:39:42 |
Look out, Philip Fry, |
| 00:39:47 |
My name is Philip Fry. |
| 00:39:51 |
Hang on a second, Fry. |
| 00:39:56 |
No, no, Ive always been this ugly. |
| 00:39:59 |
Let me see your ass. |
| 00:40:02 |
No tattoo. Okay, you can go. |
| 00:40:05 |
Farewell, sir. |
| 00:40:14 |
Say your prayers, Fry. |
| 00:40:16 |
This isn't Fry. |
| 00:40:19 |
This is my new boyfriend... |
| 00:40:22 |
-Constantine. |
| 00:40:26 |
Could be a trick. |
| 00:40:32 |
Oh, nice. Now I see why she left Fry. |
| 00:40:43 |
Okay, you're still clean. |
| 00:40:47 |
He must have left the city. |
| 00:41:00 |
You guys wouldn't know a chad |
| 00:41:02 |
-The returns are looking good, Mr. Gore. |
| 00:41:05 |
Here's to four years |
| 00:41:08 |
and amazing new technologies |
| 00:41:11 |
Robot! |
| 00:41:13 |
Philip Fry? |
| 00:41:24 |
12 years passed. |
| 00:41:27 |
Then, this. |
| 00:41:45 |
Philip J. Fry? |
| 00:41:47 |
Phil, some kind of trash can |
| 00:41:50 |
He's coming. |
| 00:41:52 |
Are you made of Tinkertoy? |
| 00:41:55 |
Its been 12 years. |
| 00:41:58 |
You're not getting smarter. |
| 00:42:00 |
Listen, pipsqueak, |
| 00:42:03 |
'Cause if you are, Im here to kill you. |
| 00:42:06 |
Id like to see you try. |
| 00:42:10 |
You want Uncle Phil. |
| 00:42:13 |
He went to the North Pole |
| 00:42:15 |
The North Pole! I was just there. |
| 00:42:23 |
One ticket to the North Pole, please. |
| 00:42:28 |
Fry? |
| 00:42:30 |
lf only I could be sure. |
| 00:42:35 |
lt is Fry. |
| 00:42:37 |
Id recognize me, |
| 00:42:46 |
Follow that guy. |
| 00:42:47 |
There's an extra 100 in it for you |
| 00:42:48 |
if you follow him so closely |
| 00:42:51 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:43:20 |
Dang! That $100 could have bought me |
| 00:43:40 |
Oh, I lost him. People will call me a failure. |
| 00:43:46 |
Others, however, will call me |
| 00:43:51 |
who's fun at parties. |
| 00:43:54 |
Fry, old buddy. Its me, Bender. |
| 00:44:06 |
I totally killed him ! |
| 00:44:13 |
Oh, God, what have I done? |
| 00:44:21 |
Preparing to terminate Philip Fry. |
| 00:44:25 |
What's with the doofy sunglasses? |
| 00:44:27 |
Its really bright in the past. |
| 00:44:29 |
Zero, zero, one, one, zero... |
| 00:44:36 |
Mission accomplished. |
| 00:44:38 |
Fry is dead? |
| 00:44:40 |
No other robot could've done it. |
| 00:44:42 |
lt took 12 years of tireless stalking, |
| 00:44:45 |
but I hunted down and killed |
| 00:44:50 |
Im the greatest! |
| 00:44:52 |
Time code |
| 00:44:56 |
AIso, 50 terabytes of porn. |
| 00:44:58 |
Hey! |
| 00:45:00 |
You've got no code, no porn, |
| 00:45:03 |
Let's dance! |
| 00:45:05 |
Nuh-nuh-nuh |
| 00:45:15 |
Now, it's true, we'll all miss Fry. |
| 00:45:17 |
He was the only one of you |
| 00:45:20 |
And we'll never see his boyish smile |
| 00:45:23 |
But I bet he went back to his own time. |
| 00:45:25 |
Im sure he was very happy |
| 00:45:29 |
He wasn't and he didn't! |
| 00:45:32 |
Struggling alone against incredible odds, |
| 00:45:40 |
I blew him to mush |
| 00:45:46 |
Oh, don't blame yourself, Bender. |
| 00:45:49 |
I don't blame myself. I blame all of you! |
| 00:45:52 |
Us? How can you possibly blame us? |
| 00:45:55 |
lt ain't easy. lt just proves how great I am. |
| 00:45:59 |
Fry! |
| 00:46:00 |
Id give anything to un-murder you! |
| 00:46:04 |
-Did someone call me? |
| 00:46:06 |
Fry? |
| 00:46:11 |
But I killed you in 2012. Unless... |
| 00:46:15 |
Nope, he's not a zombie. |
| 00:46:19 |
-Welcome back, Fry. |
| 00:46:22 |
I... Ill see you later, honey. |
| 00:46:26 |
So tell us, Fry, |
| 00:46:30 |
how in Satan's glorious name |
| 00:46:33 |
Oh, it's an astonishing tale |
| 00:46:37 |
lt all began when I went back in time. |
| 00:46:41 |
Duh! |
| 00:46:50 |
Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci. |
| 00:46:51 |
Im back from that delivery |
| 00:46:53 |
Great, Ill put you on the cover |
| 00:46:57 |
-Im starving. Can I have a slice? |
| 00:47:03 |
This note is IegaI tender. |
| 00:47:08 |
UnfortunateIy, |
| 00:47:11 |
But that's when it hit me. |
| 00:47:20 |
lce cold. |
| 00:47:21 |
That's when it hit me again. |
| 00:47:23 |
But an hour ago, |
| 00:47:27 |
''Zero, zero, one, one, zero...'' |
| 00:47:36 |
Explosion in seven, six... |
| 00:47:41 |
lt'll be a cold day in hell, my friend. |
| 00:47:44 |
Five... Hey, Im supposed to be |
| 00:47:49 |
-Nice kick, me. |
| 00:47:52 |
One hour from now, |
| 00:47:55 |
But Nibbler said not to use the time code. |
| 00:47:57 |
Fine, Mr. Responsible, don't use the code. |
| 00:48:02 |
That pizza sure was good. |
| 00:48:04 |
-You pig. |
| 00:48:06 |
That's when it hit me yet a third time. |
| 00:48:09 |
You idiot! |
| 00:48:10 |
Frozen me's still got a wallet |
| 00:48:16 |
Yuck! I touched my own butt! |
| 00:48:37 |
So I unfroze 10 minutes ago, |
| 00:48:40 |
and then it was now, |
| 00:48:43 |
Well, Im glad you're alive, |
| 00:48:45 |
but I don't want people to say |
| 00:48:47 |
so I better kill you again. Hold still. |
| 00:48:50 |
Bender! Stop killing for a minute! |
| 00:48:53 |
The Fry you murdered |
| 00:48:56 |
See? |
| 00:48:58 |
What have you got there? Numbers? |
| 00:48:59 |
Here, when the time code duplicates |
| 00:49:03 |
the copy is always doomed. |
| 00:49:05 |
And that includes |
| 00:49:08 |
Kiss my front-butt. |
| 00:49:10 |
So my copy lived 12 years |
| 00:49:14 |
Brutally murdered. |
| 00:49:15 |
I wonder what his life was like. |
| 00:49:18 |
I guess we'll never know. |
| 00:49:20 |
Or will we? |
| 00:49:23 |
Nope. |
| 00:49:24 |
They won't know. But you will. |
| 00:49:28 |
Lucky you. |
| 00:49:34 |
Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci. |
| 00:49:35 |
Im back from that delivery |
| 00:49:37 |
I know. I read about it |
| 00:49:41 |
So my girlfriend kicked me out. |
| 00:49:45 |
The upstairs storage? |
| 00:49:49 |
I like you, kid. |
| 00:49:51 |
Your lousy life makes me feel |
| 00:49:53 |
The room's yours. |
| 00:49:55 |
Here, take some rat spray |
| 00:50:45 |
Happy day, man. Good to have you back. |
| 00:50:47 |
lndeed, but the scammers |
| 00:50:50 |
We must remove the time tattoo at once, |
| 00:50:59 |
Hurry! They're coming! |
| 00:51:03 |
There, the code is gone. |
| 00:51:06 |
I saved the space-time continuum |
| 00:51:09 |
-ALL: Yeah! |
| 00:51:12 |
Oh, I sprunje code. |
| 00:51:14 |
Too late, Nudar. |
| 00:51:19 |
We'll see about that. |
| 00:51:24 |
Nothing, boss. |
| 00:51:27 |
The only information we found was |
| 00:51:31 |
Give me that! |
| 00:51:33 |
Nine. All right, let him go. |
| 00:51:37 |
Thank God. |
| 00:51:38 |
The present may stink, |
| 00:51:39 |
but at least now we can look |
| 00:51:47 |
Im sorry, Leela, |
| 00:51:51 |
By which I mean the future. |
| 00:51:53 |
Ill always love you, |
| 00:51:54 |
but Ive got to move on |
| 00:51:57 |
And that's how BungIes the monkey |
| 00:52:00 |
I miss Morbo. |
| 00:52:02 |
And finally, tonight |
| 00:52:05 |
a story that will really |
| 00:52:08 |
way more than BungIes, |
| 00:52:11 |
It's the taIe of IoneIy LeeIu, |
| 00:52:16 |
LeeIu is a rare toothed, femaIe narwhaI |
| 00:52:18 |
who got disoriented |
| 00:52:21 |
as we all do from time to time. |
| 00:52:24 |
But without a mother, |
| 00:52:27 |
Come on, take a sip. |
| 00:52:31 |
I know how to make things eat. |
| 00:52:37 |
Hi, Id like to apply for a job |
| 00:52:40 |
Question number one. |
| 00:52:41 |
Do you have any experience |
| 00:52:44 |
-No, but I think they're pretty neat. |
| 00:52:47 |
Question number three. |
| 00:52:48 |
Do you know where the door is, |
| 00:52:52 |
I don't know. I guess kicked out. |
| 00:52:55 |
Hiya, girl! |
| 00:52:56 |
My name's Fry, and I think you're a cutie, |
| 00:52:59 |
'cause I like things |
| 00:53:00 |
instead of two things. |
| 00:53:04 |
Holy mackerel! |
| 00:53:08 |
I don't know what your secret is, |
| 00:53:11 |
you can start tomorrow. |
| 00:53:12 |
lf I work for less than minimum, |
| 00:53:15 |
I don't see why not. |
| 00:53:22 |
In business news, the weak |
| 00:53:26 |
were plunged |
| 00:53:28 |
as the scammer aliens finished |
| 00:53:32 |
incIuding ownership of this station. |
| 00:53:38 |
Tough times, Earth chumps. |
| 00:53:42 |
Seems you can't afford it |
| 00:53:45 |
We're not... |
| 00:53:57 |
I love the Head Museum at night. |
| 00:54:01 |
-Hi, Lars! |
| 00:54:03 |
Lars and Ia belle Leela. |
| 00:54:06 |
I trust you brought some haute cuisine |
| 00:54:09 |
Your favorite, General. |
| 00:54:15 |
Mmm ! Magnifique! |
| 00:54:17 |
Come on, Leela. Let me show you |
| 00:54:25 |
Its so romantic. |
| 00:54:29 |
What's wrong? |
| 00:54:31 |
Its just... My life is changing so fast. |
| 00:54:37 |
I know who you are. |
| 00:54:39 |
You're the woman |
| 00:54:48 |
Let's go to my place. |
| 00:54:55 |
I like what you've done with it. |
| 00:55:00 |
And that would be us, dump cakes. |
| 00:55:03 |
We're buying the whole city |
| 00:55:04 |
and turning it into |
| 00:55:06 |
Nuh-nuh-nuh |
| 00:55:07 |
There aren't any pandas in New New York. |
| 00:55:10 |
Back it up, Sal! |
| 00:55:29 |
Look at us, living like trash-eating bums |
| 00:55:33 |
Yes, now. |
| 00:55:35 |
And on Xmas eve, |
| 00:55:39 |
Oops. |
| 00:55:41 |
Well, at least we have each other. |
| 00:55:43 |
So it truly is the worst Xmas ever. |
| 00:55:49 |
Santa ! |
| 00:55:51 |
The Planet Express crew. |
| 00:55:53 |
According to my list, |
| 00:55:59 |
Ill be back for you |
| 00:56:02 |
from starving orphans. |
| 00:56:06 |
That's it. I don't see how |
| 00:56:09 |
We could sing. |
| 00:56:10 |
Id rather kill myself. |
| 00:56:12 |
Why not do both? |
| 00:56:14 |
Oh. Very well. |
| 00:56:19 |
I may as well jump |
| 00:56:22 |
Those sIeazy naked scammers |
| 00:56:24 |
Made me Iook like a chump |
| 00:56:27 |
They robbed me of my dignity |
| 00:56:31 |
Lars brought me candy |
| 00:56:33 |
Cram it down and shut the hell up |
| 00:56:35 |
I can't compete with that |
| 00:56:39 |
He's Barbados Slim and I'm Jamaican fat |
| 00:56:43 |
Who wouId choose a backwards corpse |
| 00:56:47 |
Lars says I'm dreamy |
| 00:56:49 |
Who the hell cares? |
| 00:56:50 |
Oh, won't somebody shoot her, please |
| 00:56:54 |
And put her out of our misery? |
| 00:56:57 |
That's my cue. |
| 00:57:12 |
Oh, my word. |
| 00:57:15 |
Lars makes me puke |
| 00:57:19 |
I bet she'd Iove me, too |
| 00:57:22 |
-Hey, guess what, guys! |
| 00:57:24 |
While we were huddIed in fear |
| 00:57:27 |
Lars popped the question |
| 00:57:28 |
-Congratulations! |
| 00:57:31 |
May stars in heaven bless your love! |
| 00:57:33 |
I think I'm gonna cry |
| 00:57:34 |
'cause it's |
| 00:57:38 |
Now could things get any worse? |
| 00:57:41 |
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
| 00:57:47 |
Stop screaming. |
| 00:57:49 |
That's just what the bomb wants us to do. |
| 00:57:51 |
I say do what it tells us. |
| 00:57:53 |
Don't worry, a bomb in a case is |
| 00:58:02 |
Oh, Lars, not blowing us up |
| 00:58:06 |
Lifesaving goody-goody. |
| 00:58:08 |
Well, now that death |
| 00:58:11 |
let me be the first to say |
| 00:58:13 |
congratulations, Leela and Lars. |
| 00:58:18 |
-Maid of honor! |
| 00:58:20 |
Oh. |
| 00:58:21 |
-Oh, that's wonderful. |
| 00:58:24 |
I could make you happy, too, |
| 00:58:34 |
En garde! |
| 00:58:57 |
You've done a wonderful job, Fry. |
| 00:58:59 |
When you first started, |
| 00:59:00 |
I thought she'd be dead within a narweek, |
| 00:59:02 |
which is six days, I believe. |
| 00:59:04 |
No, Leelu's a champ. |
| 00:59:06 |
She just needed someone |
| 00:59:10 |
Now that's the kind |
| 00:59:12 |
they don't teach you |
| 00:59:14 |
So what's up, Dr. Shlivinowitz? |
| 00:59:17 |
This is a little hard for me to say, Fry. |
| 00:59:20 |
You see, it's... |
| 00:59:21 |
Its time we released Leelu |
| 00:59:25 |
Im sorry, but the decision is final. |
| 00:59:28 |
Plus, we need the tank |
| 00:59:32 |
But that turned out to be a log |
| 00:59:34 |
with a Halloween mask stapled to it. |
| 00:59:37 |
Yes, well, it still draws a crowd. |
| 00:59:41 |
I can't let this happen. |
| 00:59:55 |
I know you're broke and homeless, |
| 00:59:57 |
but you still want |
| 01:00:00 |
So I whipped you up |
| 01:00:04 |
I can keep these down. |
| 01:00:06 |
Okay. That's a big yes on the crud puffs. |
| 01:00:08 |
Try the shlimp cocktail. |
| 01:00:11 |
There must be some way |
| 01:00:14 |
-What if I steal the wedding ring? |
| 01:00:17 |
You think that will be enough |
| 01:00:20 |
Nope. I pulled the old switcheroo, |
| 01:00:24 |
Wait a minute. |
| 01:00:25 |
I think the copy I made |
| 01:00:28 |
Cheap, lousy Lars. |
| 01:00:30 |
Actually, this is extremely nice. |
| 01:00:34 |
lt was sort of my gift to them. |
| 01:00:38 |
I can't let this happen. |
| 01:00:48 |
Its not fair. We need each other. |
| 01:00:50 |
Fry, you dumb sack. |
| 01:00:56 |
-You need your blanket, Mr. Panucci. |
| 01:00:59 |
I only came because you wheeled me. |
| 01:01:01 |
But if that narwhal means so much to you, |
| 01:01:03 |
you gotta do something. |
| 01:01:05 |
I know, but I can't just |
| 01:01:08 |
-That'd be nuts. |
| 01:01:11 |
Let me introduce you to my cousin. |
| 01:01:15 |
That's him right behind us. |
| 01:01:17 |
Maybe you're right. |
| 01:01:19 |
Sir, Id like to engage your ship |
| 01:01:22 |
to capture a narwhal |
| 01:01:24 |
-The man is nuts, Leroy. |
| 01:01:28 |
Ive carried your type before, |
| 01:01:31 |
Oh, I agree with your values |
| 01:01:35 |
but somehow we just never click |
| 01:01:38 |
Im not a professional anymore. |
| 01:01:42 |
Then Im your man. |
| 01:01:43 |
We'll take on three barrels |
| 01:01:56 |
Welcome to the wedding! |
| 01:01:58 |
Its a foolproof plan. |
| 01:02:00 |
They can't sign the wedding license |
| 01:02:05 |
Yeah, once they try to sign that license, |
| 01:02:11 |
Oy vey. |
| 01:02:12 |
Go on now, man. |
| 01:02:14 |
Don't you know nothing |
| 01:02:16 |
Its more my thing to zip them down. |
| 01:02:20 |
Get your clumsy, muscular hands |
| 01:02:24 |
Hermes! Your body! |
| 01:02:26 |
I always said you were a little backward. |
| 01:02:29 |
Well, I always said |
| 01:02:31 |
With my wife! |
| 01:02:33 |
Ooh! |
| 01:02:37 |
Consider yourself bird-dogged. |
| 01:02:40 |
That's my man! Take a boat, Barbados. |
| 01:02:44 |
Brother, you gots to tell that sweet thing |
| 01:02:46 |
your time-duplicate body is doomed. |
| 01:02:48 |
Tomorrow morning, after the festivities. |
| 01:02:52 |
Yow, baby. |
| 01:03:00 |
Our little girl is finally getting married. |
| 01:03:04 |
And to a normal two-eyed human. |
| 01:03:06 |
He's not good enough for her. |
| 01:03:07 |
Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes. |
| 01:03:10 |
Quit trying to fix her up with Fly Mutant. |
| 01:03:15 |
Dearly liked, |
| 01:03:17 |
we are gathered here |
| 01:03:20 |
to join this couple |
| 01:03:23 |
lf anyone objects to this union, |
| 01:03:25 |
let them speak now |
| 01:03:29 |
or do something else. |
| 01:03:39 |
Its been two years, Fry. |
| 01:03:41 |
We've caught 108 narwhals |
| 01:03:45 |
-None of them were Leelu. |
| 01:03:48 |
Can we at least eat that one? |
| 01:03:52 |
Id know |
| 01:03:55 |
To the boats! |
| 01:03:58 |
Leelu! Leelu! Its me, Fry! |
| 01:04:08 |
Oh, Ive missed you, too, Leelu. |
| 01:04:10 |
But we'll never be apart again |
| 01:04:13 |
Fire! |
| 01:04:18 |
Now, if the couple will sign |
| 01:04:41 |
I warned him ! |
| 01:04:42 |
I warned him a time paradox duplicate |
| 01:04:46 |
-What? |
| 01:04:49 |
He's essentially dead again. |
| 01:04:51 |
Relax, ma'am. |
| 01:04:52 |
Your husband's original body |
| 01:04:56 |
Not soon enough. Boy needs a daddy. |
| 01:04:59 |
Cruel runnings, man. |
| 01:05:04 |
-Woopsy-doopsy, poopsy. |
| 01:05:07 |
Don't let my doomed body |
| 01:05:09 |
stand in the way of your happiness. |
| 01:05:11 |
No, it's not right. |
| 01:05:13 |
We don't want our happy day tainted |
| 01:05:16 |
-Im okay with it. |
| 01:05:19 |
The wedding is off. |
| 01:05:23 |
Oh, my goodness! |
| 01:05:27 |
Finally, a happy ending. |
| 01:05:37 |
And now it's time for |
| 01:05:46 |
Even in a depression, |
| 01:05:57 |
Are you okay, Leela? |
| 01:05:58 |
Yeah, Im just a little down |
| 01:06:00 |
'cause the only man |
| 01:06:03 |
-Plus I live in a dumpster. |
| 01:06:07 |
We interrupt this |
| 01:06:10 |
to bring you a speciaI address |
| 01:06:14 |
PIease, Hypnotoad, it's beyond my controI. |
| 01:06:16 |
No! Don't make me kill myseIf! |
| 01:06:20 |
My fellow Earthicans, |
| 01:06:22 |
I've just received some really great news. |
| 01:06:26 |
Im about to close a deal |
| 01:06:27 |
that will allow us to buy Earth back |
| 01:06:31 |
That'll teach those scammers and me. |
| 01:06:33 |
Just when things looked darkest, |
| 01:06:35 |
I received an e-mail |
| 01:06:38 |
lt seems we've won their |
| 01:06:44 |
Oh, Lord. |
| 01:06:45 |
And all I had to do was hand over |
| 01:06:46 |
our last remaining land |
| 01:06:49 |
So assuming all goes... |
| 01:06:52 |
What's that, Agnew? A telegram? |
| 01:06:57 |
There... Seems to have been some... |
| 01:07:01 |
We've been scammed again, people. |
| 01:07:02 |
Prepare to evacuate Earth. |
| 01:07:09 |
Na-na-na-na |
| 01:07:13 |
Hey, hey, hey |
| 01:07:15 |
We took your stuff |
| 01:07:17 |
All aboard for Neptune! |
| 01:07:19 |
Oh, I don't want to go to Neptune. |
| 01:07:22 |
Ill be cold and heavy. |
| 01:07:26 |
Thanks for the planet, suckers. |
| 01:07:53 |
Its so cold, my processor is running |
| 01:07:57 |
What are you, a whining machine? |
| 01:07:59 |
lf you want to worry about something, |
| 01:08:02 |
Yetis? |
| 01:08:05 |
Oh, yetis. |
| 01:08:07 |
Amy, you speak yeti. |
| 01:08:11 |
Im not sure, but it sounds |
| 01:08:14 |
''Assaulting the interlopers.'' |
| 01:08:23 |
Don't mess with me, |
| 01:08:27 |
I just got dumped. |
| 01:08:31 |
Sweet yeti of the Serengeti, |
| 01:08:46 |
-ls that normal? |
| 01:08:48 |
Perhaps if we were to cook |
| 01:08:50 |
Leave her alone. |
| 01:08:52 |
She just needs me to cheer her up. |
| 01:08:54 |
Wanna sword fight, girl? |
| 01:09:01 |
That male narwhal seems |
| 01:09:04 |
Get us out of here, Captain. |
| 01:09:08 |
Damn whale keepers. |
| 01:09:22 |
Santa ! We forgot he's based on Neptune. |
| 01:09:25 |
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
| 01:09:29 |
Oh, my heart's not in it. |
| 01:09:32 |
Im too depressed |
| 01:09:37 |
Try some antidepressants. |
| 01:09:39 |
What happened, Santa? |
| 01:09:41 |
The scammers cheated me |
| 01:09:44 |
to use for telemarketing. |
| 01:09:46 |
Can you imagine the harm |
| 01:09:49 |
I wanted to do that harm. |
| 01:09:51 |
That's it. They've gone too far. |
| 01:09:53 |
No more running and hiding. |
| 01:09:57 |
Now, let's not resort to violence, Leela. |
| 01:10:00 |
We're fighting back and you're helping us, |
| 01:10:05 |
That hurt. |
| 01:10:06 |
You're on the naughty list. |
| 01:10:18 |
So that's our proposal napkin, |
| 01:10:21 |
We have just enough people |
| 01:10:24 |
You wish, missy. |
| 01:10:25 |
Dog-danged scammers used |
| 01:10:28 |
a fleet of remote-controlled, |
| 01:10:32 |
Ooh! Id take one of those |
| 01:10:36 |
We're hopelessly outgunned. |
| 01:10:38 |
The force is with us, but that's about it. |
| 01:10:41 |
But we have access |
| 01:10:46 |
I brought the eIves back from vacation |
| 01:10:48 |
Chained them up |
| 01:10:51 |
Kwanzabot |
| 01:10:52 |
And the Chanukah zombie |
| 01:10:53 |
Three mad, wise men |
| 01:10:56 |
-Damn you |
| 01:10:58 |
Now fetch those bunnies by the armfuI |
| 01:11:01 |
-Says who? |
| 01:11:03 |
NapaIm makes them |
| 01:11:05 |
No one here goes near that door |
| 01:11:08 |
This toyshop's going to war |
| 01:11:11 |
TaImud says |
| 01:11:13 |
Low-down scammers got me seeing red |
| 01:11:15 |
Got my TIE fighter out of the hangar |
| 01:11:18 |
Jump back, Jack |
| 01:11:21 |
Ten hut! |
| 01:11:23 |
DreidI, dreidI |
| 01:11:25 |
You're nuts |
| 01:11:27 |
And when it's dry and ready |
| 01:11:30 |
I can't wait eight nights or more |
| 01:11:32 |
This zombie's going to war |
| 01:11:34 |
Check, check it out |
| 01:11:37 |
With my inhuman beat box |
| 01:11:39 |
They're guided by these |
| 01:11:42 |
CarefuI, littIe eIf |
| 01:11:44 |
I'm fighting back for Kwanza |
| 01:11:47 |
I'm confused about its meaning |
| 01:11:49 |
-So, Santa |
| 01:11:50 |
-CZ? |
| 01:11:52 |
Let's sIay them pimps |
| 01:11:55 |
Easy with that toy artillery |
| 01:11:57 |
Torgo's powder's deadIy but unstabIe |
| 01:12:00 |
-Can they sue for liability? |
| 01:12:03 |
Use as much as you are abIe |
| 01:12:05 |
This bites |
| 01:12:06 |
You signed away your rights |
| 01:12:09 |
-Now, Iet's fight |
| 01:12:11 |
Okay! |
| 01:12:12 |
Chestnuts roasting, I'm gonna open fire |
| 01:12:14 |
Prepare for gore gaIore |
| 01:12:16 |
This trinity's going to war |
| 01:12:25 |
Troops, you are now equipped |
| 01:12:27 |
with the finest weapons |
| 01:12:30 |
As for the battle plan... |
| 01:12:31 |
And now, to present the battle plan, |
| 01:12:36 |
What? |
| 01:12:38 |
At ease, people. |
| 01:12:40 |
I was redecorating |
| 01:12:43 |
when I received word |
| 01:12:46 |
Kif, crouch down and shield my thighs |
| 01:12:51 |
We fight this battle, not for ourselves, |
| 01:12:53 |
but for our children |
| 01:12:56 |
Which is why Im forming |
| 01:12:59 |
Will the following youths |
| 01:13:02 |
Cubert Farnsworth. |
| 01:13:04 |
-Here, sir! |
| 01:13:08 |
-Dwight Slim. |
| 01:13:10 |
You took his name? Oh, God, no! |
| 01:13:24 |
Assuming the 15th pile of children |
| 01:13:28 |
we will then execute maneuver 45. |
| 01:13:30 |
Followed by maneuver 44. |
| 01:13:32 |
-Forty-six. |
| 01:13:35 |
Now I have to start back at the beginning |
| 01:13:37 |
One. |
| 01:13:38 |
AdmiraI, will we stop attacking |
| 01:13:41 |
or is this one of those |
| 01:13:44 |
like the war on drugs? |
| 01:13:45 |
-What's your name, smart mouth? |
| 01:13:50 |
The lovely Leela's |
| 01:13:53 |
Perhaps a suicide mission would knock |
| 01:13:57 |
Yes, yes, yes. |
| 01:13:58 |
-We're approaching Earth, sir. |
| 01:14:01 |
Oh, planet Earth. |
| 01:14:05 |
All commanders stand by. |
| 01:14:07 |
Prepare to transfer battle control |
| 01:14:16 |
Ten, nine, eight... |
| 01:14:25 |
Does anybody mind if I take command? |
| 01:14:27 |
-No. |
| 01:14:29 |
-Nah. |
| 01:14:30 |
-No, Miss Turanga. |
| 01:14:33 |
-No. |
| 01:14:35 |
All right. |
| 01:14:57 |
Yes! Nailed the children's ship. |
| 01:15:04 |
Unit 10, Target H, 16-K. |
| 01:15:09 |
I mean right. |
| 01:15:11 |
55-U. |
| 01:15:12 |
8-R, 2-V. |
| 01:15:13 |
-Bingo! |
| 01:15:21 |
Whoa ! Whoa ! Whoa ! |
| 01:15:28 |
Its hopeless! |
| 01:15:31 |
Perhaps I can help! |
| 01:15:34 |
Professor, can you wire my head |
| 01:15:38 |
I can wire anything directly into anything. |
| 01:15:41 |
Im the professor! |
| 01:15:43 |
Then prepare to see |
| 01:16:15 |
Finally, I get to save the Earth |
| 01:16:18 |
instead of deadly slide shows. |
| 01:16:35 |
He's champing for a clamping! |
| 01:17:06 |
Kwa-zang! |
| 01:17:08 |
I did it! |
| 01:17:12 |
-Right, woman? |
| 01:17:15 |
Truth be, |
| 01:17:18 |
but Im staying with you |
| 01:17:22 |
You haven't seen |
| 01:17:26 |
Now, goodbye forever. |
| 01:17:32 |
Nice attack, doo-doo heads. |
| 01:17:34 |
Too bad we have one Iast trick |
| 01:17:37 |
I doubt that. |
| 01:17:38 |
Remember this, Farnsworth? |
| 01:17:41 |
Farnsworth? That's me! |
| 01:17:45 |
My doomsday device! |
| 01:17:52 |
So it was the scammers! |
| 01:17:54 |
They sawed off my hand |
| 01:17:58 |
lt wasn't them. |
| 01:18:00 |
lt was me, Bender. |
| 01:18:03 |
The master criminal! |
| 01:18:06 |
So what'll it be? |
| 01:18:07 |
-UnconditionaI surrender? |
| 01:18:10 |
-Or totaI destruction? |
| 01:18:12 |
You have 30 seconds. |
| 01:18:16 |
Never! |
| 01:18:21 |
People, Im sorry. |
| 01:18:24 |
You've never before |
| 01:18:27 |
or even the individual letters |
| 01:18:30 |
But I am. |
| 01:18:34 |
I humbly beg your forgiveness. |
| 01:18:40 |
Shut up and keep looking apologized to. |
| 01:18:51 |
Uh-oh. I have a worrisome shriveling |
| 01:19:06 |
-Yay! Bender! |
| 01:19:09 |
Bender, how the Hulk did you end up |
| 01:19:14 |
I was working the long con all along. |
| 01:19:19 |
While sawing off the professor's |
| 01:19:23 |
I had some time to think. |
| 01:19:24 |
So I asked myseIf, |
| 01:19:28 |
'"The scammers or me, Bender?'" |
| 01:19:31 |
After severaI minutes of sawing, |
| 01:19:34 |
Me, Bender. |
| 01:19:37 |
So I retrieved the dummy satcheI, |
| 01:19:42 |
and as soon as I was out |
| 01:19:44 |
I pulled the oId switcheroo. |
| 01:19:47 |
And that's how I saved Earth |
| 01:19:54 |
Bender the robot, Im proud to present you |
| 01:20:00 |
The Dirty Double-Cross. |
| 01:20:03 |
I'll aIways treasure it |
| 01:20:07 |
There, your body's good as new. |
| 01:20:09 |
Just pop in an executive suppository |
| 01:20:17 |
-What is it? |
| 01:20:19 |
Its supposed to be a celebration, Leela. |
| 01:20:21 |
I mean, come on. |
| 01:20:23 |
Whimmy-wham-wham-whazle! |
| 01:20:25 |
I can't help it. I was gonna be married. |
| 01:20:28 |
I was so happy. |
| 01:20:29 |
Well, maybe you'll meet |
| 01:20:32 |
No, you don't understand. |
| 01:20:35 |
Lars is the only man Ill ever love. |
| 01:20:37 |
I know it in my heart. |
| 01:20:45 |
You remember when we first met? |
| 01:20:48 |
lt was right there in the cryogenic lab, |
| 01:20:52 |
Meet me there in five minutes. |
| 01:21:06 |
Why are you so sad, Leelu? |
| 01:21:11 |
Him again? |
| 01:21:16 |
Wait a second, are you two... |
| 01:21:28 |
Atanarjuat, Fufu, come here! |
| 01:21:33 |
Dang. I never should have quit |
| 01:21:36 |
Me, neither. |
| 01:21:39 |
not what'll make me happy. |
| 01:21:59 |
Goodbye, Leelu. |
| 01:22:09 |
I don't much know about frozen heads, |
| 01:22:11 |
but, of course, |
| 01:22:13 |
-Leela? |
| 01:22:14 |
I... I really have to go, I... |
| 01:22:16 |
Fry, was this an idiotic trick |
| 01:22:20 |
Quite idiotic. |
| 01:22:21 |
But you don't need to be an idiot |
| 01:22:25 |
And, Leela, |
| 01:22:28 |
not what'll make me happy. |
| 01:22:30 |
Im sorry, I really am, |
| 01:22:34 |
Why not? You obviously love each other. |
| 01:22:38 |
Fry, you deserve to know the truth. |
| 01:22:43 |
Nobody move! |
| 01:22:44 |
Nudar, how did you survive |
| 01:22:47 |
My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed |
| 01:22:51 |
In retrospect, |
| 01:22:54 |
but you know us nudists. |
| 01:22:56 |
-Now give me the time code! |
| 01:22:59 |
-Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt. |
| 01:23:02 |
-You! |
| 01:23:04 |
He doesn't have it. He never had it. |
| 01:23:07 |
But Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt! |
| 01:23:11 |
My throbbing sprunjer says otherwise. |
| 01:23:15 |
Im not afraid of you |
| 01:23:18 |
-Go ahead and shoot. |
| 01:23:21 |
Then what if I kill the woman you love? |
| 01:23:23 |
Don't you understand, numb-neck? |
| 01:23:28 |
Ive always loved you. |
| 01:23:31 |
Don't hurt her. Ill give you the code. |
| 01:23:38 |
-What the... |
| 01:23:42 |
boom ! |
| 01:23:52 |
Lars, no! |
| 01:24:27 |
Its enough just to know you're happy. |
| 01:24:31 |
You, too. |
| 01:24:33 |
Its enough to know |
| 01:24:37 |
Fry, old buddy! Its me! Bender! |
| 01:24:42 |
My hair! |
| 01:24:44 |
My larynx! |
| 01:24:49 |
Im Lars? |
| 01:24:52 |
Im Lars! |
| 01:24:54 |
Wait for me, Leela ! |
| 01:25:07 |
I'll save my bread |
| 01:25:16 |
Shame you won't be there |
| 01:25:21 |
Shaking hands |
| 01:25:25 |
You can freeze |
| 01:25:32 |
So I got a job at the Head Museum |
| 01:25:35 |
and waited for the wonderfuI day |
| 01:25:39 |
Everything was perfect |
| 01:25:43 |
That's when I Iearned that, |
| 01:25:46 |
I, too, was doomed. |
| 01:25:48 |
I couIdn't put LeeIa through that. |
| 01:25:51 |
So I called it off. I'm sorry, LeeIa. |
| 01:25:55 |
I understand. |
| 01:25:57 |
That concIudes |
| 01:26:03 |
He was a good man, Leela. |
| 01:26:05 |
Yeah, you were. |
| 01:26:09 |
Well, I guess that wraps everything up |
| 01:26:14 |
-Not quite, my wrinkly brother. |
| 01:26:17 |
In order for any of this |
| 01:26:19 |
someone must make |
| 01:26:22 |
to put the code |
| 01:26:26 |
Sounds like a job for me, Bender. |
| 01:26:32 |
Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero... |
| 01:26:40 |
Mission accomplished! |
| 01:26:41 |
-You put the time code on my ass? |
| 01:26:44 |
Oh, and guess what? |
| 01:26:46 |
I met all these really cool guys with |
| 01:26:50 |
so I invited them to stick around |
| 01:26:51 |
instead of coming up |
| 01:27:04 |
No! No! |
| 01:27:11 |
What's the worst that can happen? |
| 01:27:32 |
Well, we're boned. |
| 01:27:41 |
One, two |
| 01:28:07 |
All rise |
| 01:28:16 |
Twenty-four |
| 01:28:18 |
I'm gonna get 24th century |
