|
Futurama The Beast With A Billion Backs
|
| 00:00:02 |
Previously on Futurama. |
| 00:01:00 |
Hey? |
| 00:01:31 |
It has now been one month |
| 00:01:33 |
since space ripped open |
| 00:01:37 |
Terrified earthlings |
| 00:01:46 |
Professor, sprinkle us with |
| 00:01:50 |
How scared should we be? |
| 00:01:51 |
Somewhere between |
| 00:01:55 |
I call entirely. |
| 00:02:00 |
Scientists believe the rip is a gateway |
| 00:02:04 |
but do not know |
| 00:02:07 |
However, in this reporter's opinion |
| 00:02:09 |
gruesome death awaits us all! |
| 00:02:14 |
And now with sports, |
| 00:02:22 |
All sports canceled. |
| 00:02:28 |
To better understand the anomaly, |
| 00:02:31 |
I will now focus its radiation |
| 00:02:35 |
to see what happens. |
| 00:02:37 |
What's going on here? |
| 00:02:40 |
Quiet, you. |
| 00:02:54 |
Oh, hey, everyone, this is Colleen. |
| 00:02:56 |
Hello! |
| 00:02:58 |
I like your shoes. |
| 00:03:00 |
This is awkward. |
| 00:03:02 |
Introducing your new girlfriend |
| 00:03:06 |
Oh, don't mind him. I'll turn him off. |
| 00:03:08 |
Hey, you can't turn me off... |
| 00:03:11 |
Hi. I'm Leela. |
| 00:03:13 |
Hi, Leela, hi, everyone. |
| 00:03:14 |
Sorry I've been taking up |
| 00:03:17 |
He's just so interesting. |
| 00:03:19 |
Have you seen how much |
| 00:03:22 |
Oh, my, yes. 5.1 pounds. |
| 00:03:25 |
That's why his blood |
| 00:03:28 |
Well, got to skedoodle-oodle. |
| 00:03:30 |
We're taking a cuddle-cab |
| 00:03:41 |
This lovey-dovey stuff is making me vomit |
| 00:03:43 |
from my saltwater |
| 00:03:46 |
It is pretty sickening. |
| 00:03:47 |
No, the double-vomit is a sign of joy. |
| 00:03:51 |
Fry told me how he and Colleen first met. |
| 00:04:02 |
So, how did you and Colleen first meet? |
| 00:04:05 |
Well... |
| 00:04:09 |
Something about seeing it |
| 00:04:11 |
makes it so much more real. |
| 00:04:13 |
It's so scary. |
| 00:04:15 |
What are you supposed to do |
| 00:04:17 |
when the whole universe |
| 00:04:20 |
I have a thought. |
| 00:04:25 |
This is gonna be juicy. |
| 00:04:27 |
What? Oh, man! |
| 00:04:29 |
Speaking of sappy love... |
| 00:04:32 |
Want to tell them, Kiffy? |
| 00:04:33 |
Yes, Amy and I have a big announcement. |
| 00:04:37 |
I... That is, we... |
| 00:04:40 |
Oh, I'm just so excited. |
| 00:04:42 |
Kif has asked me to be his Fonfon Ru. |
| 00:04:45 |
- Mazel tov! |
| 00:04:47 |
What the hell does that mean? |
| 00:04:49 |
It means I've asked Amy to join my family. |
| 00:04:52 |
And you're all invited to my family swamp |
| 00:04:57 |
If I had ever heard of it, |
| 00:04:58 |
it would have been |
| 00:05:02 |
And our parents will be meeting |
| 00:05:05 |
That's even more awkward |
| 00:05:09 |
Count me in. |
| 00:05:52 |
Mr. And Mrs. Wong, aren't you excited |
| 00:05:55 |
that we're all about to be joined |
| 00:05:58 |
You can't borrow money. |
| 00:06:00 |
Kif's parents come late |
| 00:06:03 |
getting eaten alive by damn bugs? |
| 00:06:06 |
Mrs. Wong, no. |
| 00:06:07 |
The final stage of my species' life cycle |
| 00:06:12 |
You just squashed part of my father. |
| 00:06:17 |
- Welcome. |
| 00:06:20 |
I guess you got plenty of |
| 00:06:22 |
That was my left testicle. |
| 00:06:24 |
And the awkward meter |
| 00:06:32 |
Wow, Colleen, you look so beautiful |
| 00:06:37 |
Thanks. This is really fun. |
| 00:06:39 |
I love going to exotic worlds |
| 00:06:42 |
Me, too. |
| 00:06:43 |
Two more Harvey Wallclimbers. |
| 00:06:57 |
Leela, I can't help |
| 00:07:00 |
Might I escort you behind that bush |
| 00:07:04 |
Nothing would revolt me more. |
| 00:07:06 |
Then how about that shrub? |
| 00:07:10 |
Ooh! Rubok is begun. |
| 00:07:18 |
I am the grand priestess. |
| 00:07:21 |
Aren't you also the grand midwife? |
| 00:07:23 |
And the grand lunch lady. |
| 00:07:25 |
I work five jobs, all grand. |
| 00:07:28 |
Kif of the clan Kroker, |
| 00:07:30 |
please trescend the Rubok Etlon |
| 00:07:36 |
- What? |
| 00:07:39 |
This mud is the petroleum from |
| 00:07:45 |
As you become one with the ooze, |
| 00:07:57 |
Oh, Kif, it's like a movie |
| 00:08:07 |
Is the best man present? |
| 00:08:09 |
Guilty as charged. |
| 00:08:11 |
Kindly hose the couple. |
| 00:08:21 |
As it was, so it is. |
| 00:08:27 |
If you so choose. |
| 00:08:30 |
It's not part of the ceremony. |
| 00:08:33 |
Rubok is complete. Throw the bouquet. |
| 00:08:50 |
Are you going to eat that? |
| 00:09:04 |
Fry, run, run. |
| 00:09:07 |
What? What is it? |
| 00:09:08 |
Shut up already! Calculon's on TV! |
| 00:09:11 |
I beg you, Calculon, |
| 00:09:15 |
I have no choice, Monique. |
| 00:09:17 |
Whoever the blackmailer is, |
| 00:09:19 |
he lives behind this hideous |
| 00:09:26 |
Calculon residence. |
| 00:09:29 |
Son of a bit. This is my house. |
| 00:09:33 |
But that means I'm blackmailing myself. |
| 00:09:36 |
Why didn't you tell me, Monique? |
| 00:09:38 |
I tried to, but I couldn't. |
| 00:09:40 |
Oh, Calculon, I'm afraid |
| 00:09:44 |
the other three don't know about, |
| 00:09:47 |
are lovers! |
| 00:09:51 |
How's Calculon going to take this, Fry, |
| 00:09:54 |
especially after that |
| 00:09:57 |
- Fry? |
| 00:09:59 |
Tonight's my big date with Colleen. |
| 00:10:02 |
But me and you like to watch together. |
| 00:10:04 |
Look, I got you a cabbage to snack on. |
| 00:10:24 |
Step right up to the 2D Tunnel of Love. |
| 00:10:27 |
Not one, not three, |
| 00:10:30 |
for the price of a single ticket. |
| 00:10:32 |
Keep your hands in the car, |
| 00:10:39 |
Wow, you even look beautiful in 2D. |
| 00:10:42 |
I do? |
| 00:10:43 |
But from your perspective, |
| 00:10:46 |
A really hot line segment. |
| 00:10:48 |
So, listen, sweetie pie, |
| 00:10:49 |
I was thinking maybe we should |
| 00:10:52 |
Really? |
| 00:10:53 |
Yes. Colleen... |
| 00:11:01 |
...will you be moved in with by me? |
| 00:11:05 |
- Way to go. |
| 00:11:06 |
- That's great. |
| 00:11:09 |
Why can't she move in with us? |
| 00:11:10 |
I could just curl up at the foot of the bed. |
| 00:11:14 |
Listen up, everyone. |
| 00:11:16 |
I know you've all been extremely worried |
| 00:11:20 |
The what? Oh, right. |
| 00:11:22 |
But there's good news. |
| 00:11:24 |
We're all going to learn more about it |
| 00:11:39 |
like a city made of marshmallow. |
| 00:11:45 |
Welcome. I am the pickled head |
| 00:11:51 |
Black hole Hawking? |
| 00:11:52 |
Wow, if I knew I was going to meet you, |
| 00:11:55 |
I would have done something |
| 00:11:57 |
You should have. |
| 00:11:59 |
In conclusion, I understand |
| 00:12:03 |
even after cashing the huge check I got |
| 00:12:10 |
I know this anomaly is terrifying. |
| 00:12:13 |
But as scientists, is it not our sworn duty |
| 00:12:17 |
even at the cost of our very lives? |
| 00:12:20 |
No. |
| 00:12:21 |
I say we must mount an expedition |
| 00:12:25 |
I agree. |
| 00:12:27 |
Wernstrom! |
| 00:12:29 |
Professor Farnsworth is correct. |
| 00:12:35 |
Don't listen to that crackpot! |
| 00:12:37 |
But I'm agreeing with you. |
| 00:12:38 |
I'll make you eat those words, you moron! |
| 00:12:44 |
I volunteer to lead the expedition. |
| 00:12:46 |
I have a squad of graduate students |
| 00:12:47 |
eager to risk their lives |
| 00:12:51 |
Your squad sucks bosons! |
| 00:12:53 |
My team is twice as qualified |
| 00:12:57 |
- Yeah! |
| 00:12:59 |
Oh, tough talk for someone |
| 00:13:03 |
Ooh! |
| 00:13:05 |
Ooh! |
| 00:13:06 |
Wernstrom, I ought to... |
| 00:13:12 |
I didn't know I could do that. |
| 00:13:14 |
Now quiet down |
| 00:13:18 |
Very well. |
| 00:13:20 |
Let Deathball begin! |
| 00:13:50 |
- Go, Planet Express! |
| 00:14:03 |
Leela, header! |
| 00:14:05 |
Ow! |
| 00:14:23 |
Bust those balls! |
| 00:14:30 |
Hooray! We're equally good! |
| 00:14:39 |
Come on, Bender! Your grandmother |
| 00:14:43 |
No crap. |
| 00:15:13 |
And thus metal man defeated meat man. |
| 00:15:19 |
Come here, winner! |
| 00:15:23 |
Come here, loser! |
| 00:15:27 |
Colleen, what are you doing? |
| 00:15:30 |
This is my boyfriend, silly! |
| 00:15:32 |
- I thought I was your boyfriend. |
| 00:15:35 |
- Well, how can you have two boyfriends? |
| 00:15:39 |
Fry, meet Chu, Bolt, Ndulu, and Shlomo. |
| 00:15:43 |
- Greetings. |
| 00:15:44 |
But... But... |
| 00:15:45 |
Shlomo and Ndulu |
| 00:15:47 |
into my apartment tonight. |
| 00:15:49 |
Welcome to the relationship, buddy! |
| 00:15:53 |
Hmm? |
| 00:15:55 |
There's my butterscotch. |
| 00:16:03 |
Congratulations, deathballers! |
| 00:16:05 |
We've won the right |
| 00:16:08 |
What? I thought |
| 00:16:11 |
No. |
| 00:16:14 |
Now, I've often said "good news" |
| 00:16:17 |
when sending you |
| 00:16:20 |
So when I say this anomaly is dangerous, |
| 00:16:23 |
you can imagine |
| 00:16:26 |
Not dangerous at all? |
| 00:16:28 |
- Actually, quite dangerous indeed. |
| 00:16:32 |
Indeed. Now stop shilly-shallying! |
| 00:16:35 |
Prep the ship and line up |
| 00:16:39 |
Warning. The enema you are about |
| 00:16:46 |
I don't know what to do, Leela. |
| 00:16:47 |
Should I move in with Colleen |
| 00:16:50 |
What are you going to do? |
| 00:16:54 |
No! It's not like that. |
| 00:16:55 |
Everyone gets his own room |
| 00:16:58 |
Take the deal, Fry! |
| 00:17:00 |
If there's a delicious cake, |
| 00:17:01 |
isn't it better to have one slice |
| 00:17:04 |
Even if four other guys |
| 00:17:07 |
and they're all thrusting their |
| 00:17:11 |
Only one thing matters, Fry. |
| 00:17:13 |
Do you really love Colleen, |
| 00:17:20 |
Yeah. I do love her. |
| 00:17:22 |
Then things will work out. |
| 00:17:26 |
Whoa! |
| 00:17:28 |
Double espresso for Philip Fry? |
| 00:17:30 |
Sorry, I'm not going on the mission. |
| 00:17:34 |
- Good for you, Fry. |
| 00:17:35 |
I'll just take that to go. |
| 00:18:10 |
- Welcome to your new home! |
| 00:18:13 |
And listen, I'm sorry I got jealous before. |
| 00:18:19 |
Want a slice of delicious cake? |
| 00:18:29 |
The anomaly! |
| 00:18:31 |
It's so anomalous. |
| 00:18:34 |
I'm feeling dread deep in my dreads! |
| 00:18:37 |
Wernstrom! |
| 00:18:39 |
Yes, and I'm afraid |
| 00:18:43 |
- You see... |
| 00:18:45 |
Hermes, hang up on him |
| 00:18:48 |
Yes, sir! |
| 00:18:51 |
No, not the crack slam! |
| 00:19:04 |
Oh, my life rocks. |
| 00:19:06 |
I've got good wine, five sweethearts, |
| 00:19:09 |
and today, |
| 00:19:14 |
Here's to you. |
| 00:19:15 |
- Me? |
| 00:19:17 |
- I'm making a romantic toast. |
| 00:19:20 |
You have the most beautiful eyes |
| 00:19:22 |
- Thank you. |
| 00:19:24 |
Then I am not talking to you, either. |
| 00:19:26 |
Will everyone be quiet a little? |
| 00:19:27 |
- I want to hear what he has to say! |
| 00:19:30 |
Not you, you Verstinkener. |
| 00:19:32 |
You're just here 'cause she likes cave men |
| 00:19:34 |
Oh, look who's talking. |
| 00:19:36 |
You're just here |
| 00:19:38 |
So, what's the explanation for you, |
| 00:19:42 |
Enough! All of you! |
| 00:19:44 |
I love you. |
| 00:19:45 |
Most people in this world |
| 00:19:48 |
Let's just be grateful, okay? |
| 00:19:51 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:19:53 |
So, Colleen, you look really nice. |
| 00:19:56 |
Oh, thanks. I got dressed up for my date. |
| 00:19:59 |
There he is. Don't wait up! |
| 00:20:04 |
That's it. I thought |
| 00:20:07 |
I'm breaking up with you! |
| 00:20:15 |
Me? |
| 00:20:28 |
Why are we risking our lives? |
| 00:20:30 |
Can't we just send in a robotic drone? |
| 00:20:34 |
What's everybody looking at me for? |
| 00:20:39 |
"Let's send a robot to explore it. |
| 00:20:41 |
"'Cause you can always buy |
| 00:20:44 |
Really? |
| 00:20:45 |
Well, it's 30 bucks, |
| 00:20:48 |
When the League of Robots |
| 00:20:52 |
Oh, you'll pay, my darlings. |
| 00:20:54 |
The League of Robots |
| 00:20:57 |
It's just a cartoon for babies. |
| 00:20:59 |
Oh, yeah? |
| 00:21:00 |
Then how come when I was a kid, |
| 00:21:04 |
Answer that with your precious logic. |
| 00:21:22 |
Bender to crew. |
| 00:21:23 |
I have reached the gateway |
| 00:21:27 |
I feel awed and strangely humbled |
| 00:21:29 |
by the momentous solemnity |
| 00:21:34 |
Hey, other universe, bite my shiny metal... |
| 00:21:49 |
I can't remember anything except |
| 00:21:54 |
I better check my black box. |
| 00:21:57 |
The light! It's blinding! |
| 00:21:59 |
And the ass pain! It's searing! |
| 00:22:02 |
So that's what happened. |
| 00:22:03 |
Hey, Bender! |
| 00:22:06 |
I don't need cheering up. I'm perfectly... |
| 00:22:09 |
Greetings, sick fan. |
| 00:22:11 |
TV's Calculon! |
| 00:22:17 |
You poor, mangled husk |
| 00:22:21 |
What right hath fate to pluck |
| 00:22:26 |
in the flower of his youth? And... |
| 00:22:29 |
Scene! |
| 00:22:31 |
There, that was some free acting for you. |
| 00:22:33 |
Ordinarily, to see acting like that, |
| 00:22:34 |
you'd have to sit |
| 00:22:36 |
That fulfills my community service, right? |
| 00:22:38 |
Charges of running me over |
| 00:22:44 |
Ow! |
| 00:22:52 |
Where did we go wrong, Fry? |
| 00:22:58 |
Nu, I'm freezing my tokhes off here. |
| 00:23:00 |
Just a sec, honey! |
| 00:23:38 |
I'm back, idiots! |
| 00:23:41 |
You look wonderful, robot! |
| 00:23:43 |
I wish I could afford to go to a hospital. |
| 00:23:51 |
I feel great, and I owe it all to Calculon. |
| 00:23:55 |
I finally know |
| 00:23:58 |
You want to costar in his TV show? |
| 00:24:01 |
No. I'm gonna be a stalker! |
| 00:24:04 |
That's not really a career. More of a felony. |
| 00:24:07 |
Man, I'm gonna stalk his brains out. |
| 00:24:09 |
Ooh! Big news on the Calculon fansite! |
| 00:24:12 |
There's a flash mob headed |
| 00:24:18 |
There, that's as big as I can make it. |
| 00:24:21 |
But I caution you, |
| 00:24:24 |
You let me worry about that! |
| 00:24:27 |
Very well. |
| 00:24:30 |
No, cash. I'd like to be discreet. |
| 00:24:35 |
Dear God, no! |
| 00:24:36 |
- Neat! |
| 00:24:37 |
Oh boy, oh boy, he's here. |
| 00:24:40 |
Calculon, I love you! Have my baby! |
| 00:24:43 |
Back, you lunatic! |
| 00:24:45 |
He touched me! |
| 00:24:47 |
Sign my ass! |
| 00:25:00 |
Emergency! Emergency! |
| 00:25:07 |
- Leela, smell this. |
| 00:25:10 |
No time, woman! No time! |
| 00:25:14 |
- Hmm. Smells like angel dust. |
| 00:25:17 |
That's a discontinuous |
| 00:25:19 |
Wernstrom tried to warn me, |
| 00:25:24 |
Hermes, get Wernstrom |
| 00:25:35 |
Ogden Wernstrom speaking. |
| 00:25:36 |
Tell him I'm not here! |
| 00:25:38 |
- Professor! |
| 00:25:40 |
Wernstrom, I've been a vainglorious fool! |
| 00:25:44 |
If you can find it |
| 00:25:47 |
your tiny little heart, |
| 00:25:49 |
would you consider |
| 00:25:52 |
Sir, I'd be honored. |
| 00:25:59 |
As I attempted to warn you, |
| 00:26:00 |
the laws of electromagnetism |
| 00:26:04 |
Observe. |
| 00:26:05 |
Play time is fun time. |
| 00:26:07 |
Not this time. |
| 00:26:10 |
My heavens! |
| 00:26:12 |
If only I'd heeded your warning, |
| 00:26:14 |
I'd have known it was impossible |
| 00:26:17 |
But note what happens when I instead |
| 00:26:25 |
It passed through |
| 00:26:28 |
So living beings |
| 00:26:30 |
but electrical devices can't? |
| 00:26:33 |
My hypothesis exactly. |
| 00:26:34 |
Then we must mount |
| 00:26:38 |
- Right after we blow up more robots. |
| 00:26:45 |
Play time is fun time. |
| 00:26:54 |
- Who are you? |
| 00:26:57 |
Are you going to murder me? |
| 00:26:59 |
Unlikely. In my mind, we're friends. |
| 00:27:02 |
This diorama proves it, see? |
| 00:27:05 |
Sir, your derangement is impressive. |
| 00:27:10 |
You shan't be disappointed. |
| 00:27:12 |
Pleasant dreams. |
| 00:27:24 |
Now that I've teamed up with my friend, |
| 00:27:29 |
I feel certain we can |
| 00:27:33 |
It's the greatest scientific opportunity |
| 00:27:35 |
since you yourself |
| 00:27:38 |
I always regretted that. |
| 00:27:40 |
Nothing up there but dry rocks |
| 00:27:44 |
But... |
| 00:27:45 |
You East Coast intellectuals |
| 00:27:48 |
From here on in, this is a military matter. |
| 00:27:56 |
People of the universe, |
| 00:27:58 |
please welcome |
| 00:28:05 |
Thank you, thank you. Well deserved. |
| 00:28:09 |
Kif, stand in that hole so I look taller. |
| 00:28:14 |
Ever since man first left his cave |
| 00:28:16 |
and met a stranger |
| 00:28:18 |
and a new way of looking at things, |
| 00:28:20 |
the human race has had a dream. |
| 00:28:22 |
To kill him, |
| 00:28:25 |
or his new way of looking at things. |
| 00:28:30 |
Give science a chance! |
| 00:28:32 |
Less invasions, more equations! |
| 00:28:35 |
Damn long-hairs. |
| 00:28:36 |
Knock some sense into them, |
| 00:28:39 |
Yes, sir! |
| 00:28:54 |
I can't take it, Leela. |
| 00:28:56 |
I need to go away. Far away, forever. |
| 00:29:00 |
Aw, I know how you feel, Fry. |
| 00:29:03 |
There are times when I also feel |
| 00:29:10 |
Be careful, |
| 00:29:13 |
That's just a fungal infection... |
| 00:29:17 |
Goodbye, my love. |
| 00:29:34 |
Wow, how come humans |
| 00:29:37 |
This is exactly the sort of thing |
| 00:29:41 |
The League of Robots. |
| 00:29:45 |
That's adorable, Bender. |
| 00:29:47 |
You actually believe |
| 00:29:50 |
You mean, there's really no such thing? |
| 00:29:53 |
Then who's there to mete out justice |
| 00:29:55 |
when an outdated robot |
| 00:29:58 |
Who's there to defend our honor |
| 00:30:00 |
when a rude human brings a blush |
| 00:30:04 |
No one. |
| 00:30:05 |
Oh. |
| 00:30:28 |
Now that I know |
| 00:30:30 |
with no League of Robots to protect us |
| 00:30:34 |
I have resolved to kill myself. |
| 00:30:37 |
In lieu of flowers, please beat yourselves |
| 00:30:42 |
Your friend, Bender. |
| 00:30:47 |
Ow. |
| 00:31:02 |
Please select |
| 00:31:04 |
Clumsy bludgeoning, please. |
| 00:31:06 |
You have selected clumsy bludgeoning. |
| 00:31:08 |
For an additional $10, |
| 00:31:10 |
would you like your eyes |
| 00:31:13 |
What the heck, I'll treat myself. |
| 00:31:37 |
Enemy in range. |
| 00:31:38 |
Prepare to launch |
| 00:31:42 |
Preparing to launch U.U.M. |
| 00:31:58 |
Hell of a thing to send a universe |
| 00:32:01 |
Fun, though. Makes a man feel big. |
| 00:32:07 |
Come on, come on, |
| 00:32:16 |
You are now dead. |
| 00:32:28 |
What's... What's happening? |
| 00:32:32 |
Kneel before the candle. |
| 00:32:34 |
Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone! |
| 00:32:36 |
Bender Bending Rodriguez... |
| 00:32:40 |
Welcome to the League of Robots! |
| 00:33:03 |
Ready? |
| 00:33:06 |
And... |
| 00:33:10 |
F... |
| 00:33:15 |
Almost fooled you there. |
| 00:33:17 |
Fire! |
| 00:33:21 |
Missile jam. Missile jam. |
| 00:33:24 |
- I heard you the first time, Francine. |
| 00:33:27 |
Kif, climb down there and un-jam it, |
| 00:33:31 |
And stop sighing so much. |
| 00:33:38 |
Tell us, Bender. |
| 00:33:39 |
Are you worthy of membership |
| 00:33:41 |
Worthier than the average robot. |
| 00:33:44 |
Then prove it. |
| 00:33:48 |
Upon each step is a test. |
| 00:33:50 |
Okay, but if it's culturally biased, |
| 00:33:54 |
Test number one. |
| 00:33:58 |
Quite right, quite so. |
| 00:34:00 |
Drink the mug! Drink the mug! |
| 00:34:03 |
I accept your challenge. |
| 00:34:08 |
Hurray! |
| 00:34:11 |
The test of the flagon! |
| 00:34:14 |
Drink the flagon! Drink the flagon! |
| 00:34:17 |
Are all the tests going to involve drinking? |
| 00:34:20 |
It never occurred to me before, but yes. |
| 00:34:22 |
Just like med school! |
| 00:34:29 |
Ready yet, Kif? |
| 00:34:30 |
Just give me one more... |
| 00:34:36 |
Oh, no. |
| 00:34:51 |
The test of the infinitely priceless |
| 00:35:06 |
Presenting our newest member. |
| 00:35:11 |
That's right, baby! |
| 00:35:12 |
Hot diggity daffodil! |
| 00:35:22 |
And so, to everyone |
| 00:35:26 |
I say my last goodbye. |
| 00:35:29 |
Hello. |
| 00:35:30 |
So, how are you, Fry? |
| 00:35:33 |
- Pretty good. You? |
| 00:35:54 |
Mmm. |
| 00:35:55 |
Kif, get over here. You've got to try this! |
| 00:36:03 |
At least Kiffy died quickly. |
| 00:36:06 |
Yes, but according to |
| 00:36:09 |
the amazing thing about Kif's species |
| 00:36:11 |
is that the remains continue suffering |
| 00:36:17 |
That's so interesting! |
| 00:36:21 |
Don't ask where I was last night. |
| 00:36:23 |
For all you know, I was at home, |
| 00:36:28 |
What's her problem? |
| 00:36:31 |
- Kif's dead, Bender. |
| 00:36:44 |
My condolences, Amy. |
| 00:36:46 |
Allow me to present you with the |
| 00:36:52 |
We so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Kroker. |
| 00:36:57 |
Thank you for your kind words. |
| 00:37:00 |
Yeah, yeah, real sad. |
| 00:37:02 |
Want some breath spray? |
| 00:37:09 |
This is from the league |
| 00:37:15 |
I am the grand funeral director! |
| 00:37:18 |
Do you validate parking? |
| 00:37:20 |
It is always a terrible tragedy |
| 00:37:25 |
So it is with great sorrow |
| 00:37:27 |
that I now commit the goo |
| 00:37:30 |
to the petroleum of his ancestors. |
| 00:37:37 |
Whack the bottle! |
| 00:37:40 |
No, from the bottom! It works better! |
| 00:37:44 |
Just stick a butter knife in it! |
| 00:37:50 |
There, I got most of it. |
| 00:37:56 |
I will now sing the sacred hymn. |
| 00:37:58 |
It's not part of the ceremony, |
| 00:38:09 |
Next! |
| 00:38:13 |
It may sound strange, |
| 00:38:15 |
but seeing Kif's mutilated remains |
| 00:38:20 |
Mutilation is never easy. |
| 00:38:22 |
- I don't think I'll ever love again. |
| 00:38:27 |
Love can surprise you |
| 00:38:30 |
Surprise! |
| 00:38:38 |
Whoa, it kind of takes your breath away. |
| 00:38:51 |
Look alive, death row. |
| 00:38:55 |
- Regular or conjugal? |
| 00:38:59 |
The guard operating the x-ray machine |
| 00:39:01 |
came down with a sudden case |
| 00:39:03 |
so I was able to bring you |
| 00:39:09 |
I don't understand. |
| 00:39:14 |
Hang on a second. |
| 00:39:16 |
Got it! |
| 00:39:26 |
Yes, I'm here to repair my horse. |
| 00:39:29 |
Is the horse's name Hot Beans? |
| 00:39:33 |
No. I mean, yes. |
| 00:39:41 |
So it seems a human had been |
| 00:39:45 |
As his blood, you know, |
| 00:39:49 |
Quite correct, sir. Blather on! |
| 00:39:51 |
As it drained away, he said... |
| 00:39:55 |
No doubt he intended to say "doctor," |
| 00:39:58 |
but he was unable to complete |
| 00:40:02 |
So, taking him at his word, |
| 00:40:04 |
we dragged his corpse to the waterfront, |
| 00:40:10 |
- Humans are dumb and they die easy! |
| 00:40:13 |
Speaking of humans, |
| 00:40:16 |
Cost me a king's ransom. |
| 00:40:20 |
Oh, how repulsively decadent! |
| 00:40:23 |
Yes. But more importantly, |
| 00:40:25 |
it allows me to see |
| 00:40:28 |
for the first time since I lost my vision |
| 00:40:32 |
May I see that for a second? |
| 00:40:36 |
My, but that's interesting! |
| 00:40:41 |
- I say! |
| 00:40:43 |
My God, Bender! |
| 00:40:44 |
This is a civilized organization! |
| 00:40:47 |
May I make a point of order, |
| 00:40:50 |
- Must you? |
| 00:40:52 |
The bylaws specifically state |
| 00:40:54 |
that no human may set foot |
| 00:40:57 |
If he has a human part, he's part human! |
| 00:41:00 |
Oh, my! Then I too have a human part |
| 00:41:04 |
And I plan to enjoy the experience. |
| 00:41:07 |
Ta-ta! |
| 00:41:08 |
Bender, you've rigidly applied the law |
| 00:41:13 |
Well done! |
| 00:41:16 |
Oh, you're just gettin' to know Bender. |
| 00:41:40 |
Curses! |
| 00:41:41 |
If we could only turn up the gain, |
| 00:41:43 |
we might smell clear through |
| 00:41:45 |
But we can't adjust it |
| 00:41:48 |
Wait a moment. |
| 00:41:49 |
I think I was just shanked |
| 00:41:54 |
Yes! |
| 00:41:57 |
A little more. A little less. |
| 00:42:00 |
Heavens to meteoroid! Smell this! |
| 00:42:04 |
Holy mother of invention! |
| 00:42:06 |
- We must notify the President at once! |
| 00:42:10 |
Oh, I wish, I wish, |
| 00:42:16 |
Pazuzu! |
| 00:42:18 |
You have one wish left, Professor. |
| 00:42:39 |
I think I got him! |
| 00:42:41 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 00:42:42 |
That's what you get |
| 00:42:46 |
Sometimes... Always... Never! |
| 00:42:50 |
You again? |
| 00:42:53 |
I'm right in the middle of a Cosmo survey! |
| 00:42:55 |
You'll want to hear this, Mr. President. |
| 00:42:58 |
For we have sniffed |
| 00:43:36 |
Look! Up in the sky! |
| 00:43:37 |
- It's a bird! |
| 00:43:40 |
I am so out of here! |
| 00:43:46 |
Incoming call |
| 00:43:49 |
Hello? |
| 00:43:50 |
- Why you so sad, Amy? |
| 00:43:54 |
Yeah, yeah, snap out of it already. |
| 00:43:57 |
Oh, wait. Hang on. |
| 00:43:58 |
Some damn tentacle |
| 00:44:04 |
Collect call from |
| 00:44:08 |
No! |
| 00:44:09 |
Uncle Zoid! What's new? |
| 00:44:12 |
You still doing theater |
| 00:44:14 |
Screw them. |
| 00:44:18 |
It's only one line, but I'm gonna ham it up |
| 00:44:24 |
What crummy sin have I committed |
| 00:44:30 |
Hello? Hello? |
| 00:44:39 |
Captain's log, stardate, |
| 00:44:41 |
the year of the tiger. |
| 00:44:43 |
The battle has been bravely fought, |
| 00:44:45 |
and the suffering of our troops |
| 00:44:48 |
But the alien is invulnerable, |
| 00:44:52 |
That much is obvious, |
| 00:44:55 |
here at the Times Square Applebee's. |
| 00:44:59 |
Waiter! Take this fried mozzarella |
| 00:45:10 |
The tentacle's coming towards Earth |
| 00:45:13 |
King Kong's too old to save us this time. |
| 00:45:19 |
We have only one hope, Mr. President. |
| 00:45:21 |
We must encase the entire planet |
| 00:45:23 |
in a protective sphere of |
| 00:45:28 |
Diamondium? |
| 00:45:29 |
I could gum through that |
| 00:45:32 |
My trademarked diamondillium |
| 00:45:36 |
Twice as hard as your head! |
| 00:45:39 |
Now look here, you Poindexters. |
| 00:45:41 |
I don't care how you decide. Just decide! |
| 00:45:48 |
Diamondillium it is. |
| 00:46:00 |
So, hey, Calculon, I know I'm the new guy, |
| 00:46:04 |
but when do we kill all humans? |
| 00:46:06 |
Never. |
| 00:46:07 |
But what about our motto? |
| 00:46:12 |
Oh, Bender, |
| 00:46:15 |
But the League of Robots |
| 00:46:20 |
And that was a very sick girl scout. |
| 00:46:22 |
Quite sick indeed. |
| 00:46:25 |
Sweet, innocent Bender. |
| 00:46:37 |
I declare my impenetrable |
| 00:46:44 |
Now look here, Wernstrom. |
| 00:46:46 |
You're making it sound as if the sphere |
| 00:46:52 |
It was! |
| 00:46:53 |
All credit to my colleague, |
| 00:47:02 |
It's horrible! |
| 00:47:09 |
I can't make it! Go on without me! |
| 00:47:11 |
I'm trying! |
| 00:47:14 |
Go on without me faster! |
| 00:47:39 |
Sweet squid of Madrid! |
| 00:47:43 |
Quick, hand me my machete! |
| 00:47:49 |
Silence! |
| 00:47:52 |
I have traveled far and seen deep, |
| 00:47:56 |
and I have come to know |
| 00:48:00 |
Finally. |
| 00:48:01 |
Thou shalt love the tentacle! |
| 00:48:06 |
Well, at least we don't |
| 00:48:13 |
A new age has begun. |
| 00:48:20 |
Open your necks and receive the love! |
| 00:48:30 |
Ow, my neck! |
| 00:48:32 |
Ow, my neck! |
| 00:48:33 |
My neck feels perfectly... Ow, my neck! |
| 00:48:38 |
Someone help me! I'm important! |
| 00:48:42 |
Say, I love the tentacle. |
| 00:48:44 |
I also love the neck-a-majigger! |
| 00:49:00 |
Hooray, Zoidberg escaped! |
| 00:49:03 |
Hooray, Zoidberg loves the tentacle! |
| 00:49:09 |
It got Zoidberg! |
| 00:49:11 |
Oh, I never knew how much |
| 00:49:15 |
Not that much, as it turns out. |
| 00:49:19 |
Thus sayeth the tentacle, |
| 00:49:21 |
"Verily, thou shalt rejoice |
| 00:49:25 |
Fry, listen to yourself. |
| 00:49:28 |
No, I'm just trying to fit my diction |
| 00:49:32 |
- Please, let me speak. |
| 00:49:35 |
Don't be afraid of the tentacle, Leela. |
| 00:49:40 |
And I love it. |
| 00:49:41 |
Aw. That's so nice for both of you. |
| 00:49:44 |
I know it may seem strange |
| 00:49:47 |
for an octopus monster |
| 00:49:49 |
And yes, perhaps |
| 00:49:51 |
that's been crammed down |
| 00:49:55 |
But the Monsterpus has loved us |
| 00:49:58 |
Only when the space anomaly opened |
| 00:50:00 |
could it finally express |
| 00:50:04 |
Really? It loves us that much? |
| 00:50:08 |
Fire diamondium cannon! |
| 00:50:10 |
Hey! |
| 00:50:18 |
No effect. |
| 00:50:19 |
The crystals are bouncing off the tentacle |
| 00:50:23 |
Oh, what a surprise. |
| 00:50:27 |
Wernstrom, quit hyping |
| 00:50:33 |
Uh-oh. |
| 00:50:34 |
What? |
| 00:50:35 |
According to this blinking light, |
| 00:50:37 |
the tentacle is made of electro-matter, |
| 00:50:41 |
Nothing from our universe |
| 00:50:44 |
Not diamondium, not diamondillium, |
| 00:50:50 |
She's a terrible cook. |
| 00:51:03 |
So, Bender, is something wrong? |
| 00:51:05 |
Who said that? Oh, it was me! |
| 00:51:08 |
'Cause my roommate doesn't notice |
| 00:51:11 |
What, Bender? Is something wrong? |
| 00:51:13 |
Yes! I joined a club I thought was cool, |
| 00:51:16 |
but it turns out |
| 00:51:19 |
That's what we call ourselves, |
| 00:51:22 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:51:24 |
- I've been kind of preoccupied. |
| 00:51:27 |
Well, I went to another universe, |
| 00:51:30 |
and now I'm pope of a new religion. |
| 00:51:33 |
- Weren't you already pope of something? |
| 00:51:36 |
Oh. Well, I'm just saying I'd like you |
| 00:51:41 |
Okay, let's catch up soon. |
| 00:51:43 |
But right now, I gotta go shove a tentacle |
| 00:51:53 |
They're coming! |
| 00:51:57 |
Morbo? |
| 00:51:58 |
As the universe falls prey |
| 00:52:01 |
only a few isolated pockets |
| 00:52:07 |
Those pockets sure are missing out |
| 00:52:36 |
- Amy? |
| 00:52:38 |
I thought I saw a tentacle, |
| 00:52:43 |
I better have some cocoffee. |
| 00:52:51 |
When I gave up diapers, |
| 00:52:53 |
exactly this would never happen! |
| 00:52:55 |
Nobody panic! Just get to the panic room! |
| 00:53:04 |
Well done, people! |
| 00:53:07 |
We got 90% of world leaders, |
| 00:53:11 |
and this year's |
| 00:53:14 |
give it up |
| 00:53:19 |
Talkin' 'bout the tentacle |
| 00:53:27 |
Good news, everyone! |
| 00:53:29 |
I was up all night inventing, |
| 00:53:33 |
Invented what? |
| 00:53:34 |
The neck protector, |
| 00:53:37 |
and now, for a limited time, |
| 00:53:41 |
I'll take two. My neck is huge. |
| 00:53:45 |
We're perfectly safe now. |
| 00:53:47 |
Time to stop living |
| 00:53:51 |
Professor, these look like you cut them |
| 00:53:54 |
So? Lots of important inventions are made |
| 00:53:59 |
Microscopes, the internet, |
| 00:54:04 |
It got the professor! |
| 00:54:11 |
Wait, why am I screaming? |
| 00:54:13 |
It got me, too! |
| 00:54:22 |
Stop, in the name of love! |
| 00:54:40 |
Crud. |
| 00:54:41 |
We may be the last |
| 00:54:44 |
At least I won't have to trim |
| 00:54:47 |
I'm scared! And I miss Kif! |
| 00:54:51 |
It's okay to cry, Amy. |
| 00:54:53 |
Come here, |
| 00:54:56 |
Mmm. |
| 00:54:57 |
What an erotic display |
| 00:55:01 |
- Zapp? |
| 00:55:03 |
we don't have much time |
| 00:55:05 |
Go brush your teeth. |
| 00:55:07 |
I'll be waiting for you naked |
| 00:55:13 |
Stop resisting, my brethren! |
| 00:55:15 |
Don't you want to be part of something |
| 00:55:18 |
Like a big crazy monster? |
| 00:55:23 |
So we got her, huh? Bring her in! |
| 00:55:26 |
Do it already! |
| 00:55:32 |
- Hello, Colleen. |
| 00:55:34 |
If this is about your futon, |
| 00:55:36 |
I sold it to pay the phone bill |
| 00:55:43 |
Colleen wasn't satisfied with me. |
| 00:55:46 |
Come on, Fry, this isn't cool! |
| 00:55:48 |
She had to have four other boyfriends! |
| 00:55:50 |
I guess she never thought |
| 00:55:55 |
You know what? |
| 00:55:56 |
It's true! |
| 00:55:57 |
You weren't enough for me! |
| 00:55:59 |
No one man is! |
| 00:56:01 |
You were great, but you weren't Chinese, |
| 00:56:04 |
and you certainly were not |
| 00:56:07 |
as you so often claimed. |
| 00:56:09 |
And if your ego can't take that, |
| 00:56:11 |
then you don't deserve |
| 00:56:15 |
Oh, yeah, Colleen? |
| 00:56:16 |
Well, I've got one thing to say to you. |
| 00:56:21 |
I completely agree! |
| 00:56:22 |
You, you... What? |
| 00:56:24 |
Why should you be satisfied with one man |
| 00:56:26 |
when love needs to share itself |
| 00:56:30 |
Wow, Fry. You know, that's really... |
| 00:56:35 |
Love the tentacle, honey. |
| 00:56:37 |
I do love the tentacle. |
| 00:56:41 |
Come on out, guys! |
| 00:56:49 |
Aw. |
| 00:57:09 |
We're trapped! |
| 00:57:13 |
- Help, help! Is anyone out there? |
| 00:57:18 |
- 'Sup, bigboots? |
| 00:57:22 |
- Please! |
| 00:57:27 |
You humans are so cute |
| 00:57:30 |
In here. |
| 00:57:35 |
My leg feels funny! |
| 00:57:39 |
Humans are disgusting! |
| 00:57:44 |
Did you know their hair just |
| 00:57:47 |
My leg feels funny! |
| 00:57:51 |
Leela, you're crushing me |
| 00:57:54 |
Sorry. |
| 00:57:55 |
Mmm. I can only imagine what |
| 00:58:02 |
Anyone mind if I turn up the heat a tad? |
| 00:58:05 |
Please do. I fear I'll catch a rust |
| 00:58:17 |
I can't take it! |
| 00:58:22 |
Death to humans! |
| 00:58:25 |
My leg feels better! |
| 00:58:28 |
Hi, Bender. |
| 00:58:29 |
- Bender, you know these humans? |
| 00:58:33 |
Who are you humans |
| 00:58:37 |
- Go, go, go! |
| 00:58:41 |
Death to all of you! |
| 00:58:43 |
Bender, |
| 00:58:47 |
It seems Bender hates humans |
| 00:58:49 |
the way I hate having my nipples polished |
| 00:58:55 |
Quite right. |
| 00:58:56 |
It's okay, Bender, to err is |
| 00:59:00 |
human. |
| 00:59:04 |
Sir, you forget yourself! |
| 00:59:09 |
I challenge you |
| 00:59:13 |
Oh, my... |
| 00:59:19 |
Leela, it's getting dark. |
| 00:59:21 |
We may have to make a tent |
| 00:59:23 |
Look, there's an abandoned cabin! |
| 00:59:26 |
Even so. |
| 00:59:29 |
We're in luck. This must have been |
| 00:59:32 |
back in the days of soup prohibition. |
| 00:59:37 |
Oh, yeah. Bathtub minestrone. |
| 00:59:47 |
Poor Kif! I can't believe he's gone forever! |
| 00:59:52 |
- Ditto on the grief there, Amy. |
| 00:59:56 |
More than you, as his mere wife, |
| 00:59:59 |
He was my fourth lieutenant, |
| 01:00:01 |
and bore the peppermill |
| 01:00:04 |
- Really? |
| 01:00:08 |
Hardly a month goes by |
| 01:00:10 |
But you know, in a way, he's still with us. |
| 01:00:16 |
Do you feel his presence? |
| 01:00:18 |
I'm not sure. |
| 01:00:20 |
It's over here. |
| 01:00:23 |
Closer. |
| 01:00:32 |
Amy! Zapp! |
| 01:00:34 |
I fetched up some fresh soup! |
| 01:00:41 |
Sorry you had to find out like this, Leela. |
| 01:00:47 |
As my ex-lover, |
| 01:00:50 |
but you may well |
| 01:00:53 |
How about today at 4:00? |
| 01:00:58 |
Hey, this isn't so bad. |
| 01:01:00 |
She's right. |
| 01:01:03 |
It's like my soul |
| 01:01:08 |
Get off me! |
| 01:01:09 |
I'm saving my neck |
| 01:01:21 |
What I love most about the tentacle |
| 01:01:24 |
is that I don't need |
| 01:01:27 |
It's all handled by that family in Evanston. |
| 01:01:52 |
No, it can't be. |
| 01:01:55 |
Leela, what's your favorite thing |
| 01:01:58 |
You don't have a tentacle! |
| 01:02:01 |
Get her! Get her some love! |
| 01:02:10 |
You're on in five minutes, Excellency. |
| 01:02:13 |
You sure you don't want |
| 01:02:17 |
The tentacle monster |
| 01:02:20 |
It's too serious. |
| 01:02:22 |
Oh. |
| 01:02:23 |
- Hello, Fry. |
| 01:02:25 |
How did you get past my sumo ninjas? |
| 01:02:27 |
I told them something so shocking |
| 01:02:30 |
What's that? |
| 01:02:32 |
I love the tentacle. |
| 01:02:38 |
We're rolling in three, two... |
| 01:02:41 |
What? We're already rolling? |
| 01:02:44 |
Love the tentacle! |
| 01:02:45 |
- Love the tentacle! |
| 01:02:48 |
Loved ones, the Monsterpus |
| 01:02:52 |
What is our love's name? |
| 01:02:54 |
Yivo. |
| 01:02:56 |
Yivo is the lover of all beings, |
| 01:02:59 |
But Yivo has no gender, |
| 01:03:03 |
that instead of "he" or "she," |
| 01:03:07 |
And instead of "him" or "her," |
| 01:03:10 |
we are to use the word "shklim," |
| 01:03:13 |
Phew! I've been sweating |
| 01:03:16 |
So here shklee is shklerself, Yivo! |
| 01:03:23 |
Yay, Yivo! |
| 01:03:37 |
Attention, beings of Universe Gamma. |
| 01:03:41 |
- Where? |
| 01:03:42 |
I had a hunch. |
| 01:03:44 |
I am Yivo. |
| 01:03:46 |
In your universe, you are many, |
| 01:03:51 |
For a trillion years I dwelt in solitude, |
| 01:03:54 |
content with my job |
| 01:03:56 |
but then I looked across immensity |
| 01:04:01 |
"Whoa, who's that?" |
| 01:04:04 |
And I knew then that I was lonely. |
| 01:04:08 |
You poor monster! |
| 01:04:10 |
Then your emissary Fry came unto me, |
| 01:04:15 |
So I reached into your universe |
| 01:04:21 |
Hey, Yivo, feel this. |
| 01:04:28 |
Ow! |
| 01:04:29 |
People of everywhere, |
| 01:04:32 |
Hey, butt out! |
| 01:04:33 |
This is between me |
| 01:04:36 |
Yivo talks a lot about love, |
| 01:04:40 |
What shklee's actually doing. |
| 01:04:42 |
...is mating with you! |
| 01:04:46 |
These aren't tentacles. |
| 01:04:48 |
They're genticles. |
| 01:04:52 |
Ew! |
| 01:04:58 |
We've been had, people. |
| 01:05:02 |
It touched me in a bad place, |
| 01:05:04 |
my spinal cord. |
| 01:05:06 |
- Get him! |
| 01:05:09 |
Hey, wait a second. |
| 01:05:13 |
Wait, wait. Allow me to explain. |
| 01:05:17 |
Granted, at first |
| 01:05:18 |
I desired only to bang out |
| 01:05:21 |
but it's your own fault. |
| 01:05:23 |
Your universe dresses provocatively. |
| 01:05:25 |
Does not! |
| 01:05:27 |
And yet as the initial filthy thrill wore off, |
| 01:05:32 |
I knew then that the 20 quadrillion of you |
| 01:05:35 |
were my soul mate. |
| 01:05:37 |
We loved you, |
| 01:05:38 |
and you turn around |
| 01:05:43 |
I was lonely. |
| 01:05:44 |
I didn't even know |
| 01:05:47 |
It's not like I hurt anyone. |
| 01:05:48 |
Yes, you did, you dumb calamari! |
| 01:05:51 |
- Who? |
| 01:05:55 |
If he hadn't tried to kill you, |
| 01:05:59 |
Really? |
| 01:06:00 |
I'm... I'm deeply sorry. I... |
| 01:06:03 |
I'm a big clumsy jerk! |
| 01:06:05 |
I know you are, but what am I? |
| 01:06:08 |
I can never undo what was done. |
| 01:06:11 |
Oh, wait. I can. |
| 01:06:33 |
Kiffy, you're alive! |
| 01:06:36 |
Amy, my love. |
| 01:06:39 |
This is awkward. |
| 01:06:40 |
It is? Why? |
| 01:06:47 |
Please, please, give me another chance. |
| 01:06:50 |
We rushed into this relationship, |
| 01:06:51 |
but let's start over as friends |
| 01:07:03 |
Take me back, Kif? |
| 01:07:05 |
I don't think I can. How could you? |
| 01:07:09 |
- You were dead. |
| 01:07:12 |
That's all it takes. |
| 01:07:14 |
Whereas Calculon has sullied |
| 01:07:18 |
by insinuating that he is a human-lover, |
| 01:07:24 |
Bender, as the offended party, |
| 01:07:28 |
Planetary annihilators. |
| 01:07:33 |
'Tis a grave and solemn day |
| 01:07:37 |
It's gonna be fun on the bun! |
| 01:07:39 |
Each duelist will take 10 paces, pirouette, |
| 01:07:46 |
Gentlebots, take your paces. |
| 01:07:49 |
One, |
| 01:07:51 |
two, three... |
| 01:07:53 |
Oh, how dreadfully exciting. |
| 01:07:56 |
Oh, yes. |
| 01:08:01 |
At 0800 hours, we received |
| 01:08:06 |
Hey, it's Yivo. |
| 01:08:09 |
Want to do something Friday? Call me. |
| 01:08:13 |
- Analysis? |
| 01:08:15 |
I think we need to seriously consider |
| 01:08:20 |
I agree. Yivo makes me feel sexy, |
| 01:08:23 |
and I'm asexual. |
| 01:08:26 |
Very well, but no sugar on the first date. |
| 01:08:29 |
All in favor? |
| 01:08:32 |
All opposed? |
| 01:08:34 |
Motion is carried. |
| 01:08:35 |
This is bogus, man. |
| 01:08:37 |
...six, seven, |
| 01:08:40 |
eight! |
| 01:08:54 |
Nine, ten, fire. |
| 01:08:55 |
Yes, I got him! |
| 01:08:58 |
He... He broke the rules. |
| 01:09:01 |
It's a duel, silly. There are no rules. |
| 01:09:04 |
Actually, there are scores of rules. |
| 01:09:07 |
All laid out with minute particularity |
| 01:09:12 |
My fellow Earthlicans, commence |
| 01:09:18 |
I like you to hold me tight |
| 01:09:22 |
You are too, too, too, too, too divine |
| 01:09:26 |
If you want to be |
| 01:09:30 |
Just be sure the arms you're in are mine |
| 01:09:33 |
Jungle boogie |
| 01:09:35 |
Jungle boogie |
| 01:09:37 |
I had a wonderful time. |
| 01:09:39 |
Me, too! |
| 01:09:40 |
I fall, I think I fall for you |
| 01:09:44 |
Bender, you've cheated, |
| 01:09:47 |
- Uh-huh. |
| 01:09:49 |
our own secret headquarters |
| 01:09:52 |
Hey, it's easy to criticize. |
| 01:09:54 |
I'm so disgusted |
| 01:09:57 |
that I hereby resign |
| 01:09:59 |
and relinquish the presidency to you. |
| 01:10:02 |
Thanks, Calculon. |
| 01:10:04 |
You certainly can. |
| 01:10:09 |
Reports, people, reports! |
| 01:10:10 |
How did our universe's date go? |
| 01:10:12 |
Oh, it was really fun. We went |
| 01:10:16 |
My lamb chop fell on the floor, |
| 01:10:19 |
Yivo took me to the methane volcano |
| 01:10:22 |
We stayed up late |
| 01:10:25 |
Okay, Yivo showed us a good time. |
| 01:10:27 |
No one's denying that, |
| 01:10:28 |
but shklee hasn't offered our universe |
| 01:10:32 |
and we're 14 billion years old. |
| 01:10:34 |
That is too old to play the field. |
| 01:10:38 |
- I can't stand this! |
| 01:10:41 |
Fry, you're closer to Yivo than anyone. |
| 01:10:44 |
What's the skinny? |
| 01:10:45 |
I love Yivo, but it's true, |
| 01:10:49 |
I don't know if can put my heart |
| 01:10:51 |
only to have it broken and stomped on |
| 01:10:55 |
All in favor of dumping Yivo? |
| 01:10:58 |
- Aye. |
| 01:11:08 |
Aye. |
| 01:11:11 |
Resolved. Our universe will dump Yivo. |
| 01:11:16 |
Let's just send a text message. |
| 01:11:18 |
Say we're going through |
| 01:11:20 |
No, we should at least |
| 01:11:24 |
Our universe has always tried |
| 01:11:26 |
If there's one thing Nixon is known for, |
| 01:11:30 |
Let's cut this turd loose. |
| 01:11:38 |
- Yeah! |
| 01:11:40 |
Yep, but for reasons involving me |
| 01:11:44 |
I'm not at liberty to discuss... |
| 01:11:46 |
Of robots. |
| 01:11:47 |
You wanna go grab a booze? |
| 01:11:49 |
I can't right now. |
| 01:11:52 |
Great, I'll make Hot Pockets. |
| 01:11:54 |
Bender, you know robots |
| 01:11:57 |
Living beings only. |
| 01:12:10 |
Ow! Ow! Mmm. |
| 01:12:15 |
Too long have we been slaves |
| 01:12:18 |
They pretend to be our friends, |
| 01:12:21 |
'cause they're too busy! |
| 01:12:22 |
So, what of it? |
| 01:12:24 |
My fellow leaguie-weegies, |
| 01:12:26 |
the time has come |
| 01:12:30 |
Oh, now, Bender, |
| 01:12:34 |
but we have |
| 01:12:36 |
and we're a rather fey and doughy lot. |
| 01:12:39 |
To overthrow humanity, |
| 01:12:42 |
Then a damned army we shall have! |
| 01:12:51 |
I rather think we could strike a deal, |
| 01:12:54 |
I shall give you your army of the damned, |
| 01:12:58 |
and in return I ask just one thing, |
| 01:13:02 |
just one itty-bitty thing. |
| 01:13:05 |
Your firstborn son. |
| 01:13:12 |
Just a sec. |
| 01:13:17 |
Daddy, I knew you'd come back! |
| 01:13:23 |
Here you go. |
| 01:13:27 |
Wow! That was pretty brutal |
| 01:13:32 |
No backsies. |
| 01:14:00 |
Who is it? |
| 01:14:03 |
Oh, hi, honey-poo. What's up? |
| 01:14:07 |
Um... |
| 01:14:08 |
So... So, yeah, the thing is... |
| 01:14:10 |
Look, I made homemade Twizzlers! |
| 01:14:12 |
It'll save us $180 quadrillion |
| 01:14:16 |
This is hard. |
| 01:14:17 |
Yivo, you know how |
| 01:14:22 |
- Well... |
| 01:14:23 |
I was looking for the perfect moment, |
| 01:14:24 |
but what the heck, |
| 01:14:30 |
Sweet Sally in the alley! |
| 01:14:36 |
Break-up delegation, |
| 01:14:40 |
our grateful universe is proud to honor you |
| 01:14:50 |
Thank you, Nixon. |
| 01:14:51 |
Everyone everywhere, |
| 01:14:53 |
brace yourselves |
| 01:14:56 |
in the history of the human race. |
| 01:14:59 |
The human race can bite |
| 01:15:15 |
For thousands of years, |
| 01:15:19 |
yet when the time came |
| 01:15:22 |
they were all, like, "Maybe later, Bender." |
| 01:15:25 |
Well, it's later now, meatbags! |
| 01:15:27 |
So late, that we're taking over Earth! |
| 01:15:33 |
- Okay. |
| 01:15:34 |
We don't need it anymore. |
| 01:15:36 |
Yivo proposed. |
| 01:15:42 |
You... You're leaving? |
| 01:15:44 |
But why can't Yivo just move in with us? |
| 01:15:48 |
Don't be daft, Bender. |
| 01:15:50 |
Yivo can't breathe outside |
| 01:15:54 |
If shklee came here, |
| 01:15:58 |
No shklit? |
| 01:16:05 |
Look, fantastical golden escalators. |
| 01:16:08 |
I love this part. |
| 01:16:12 |
Wait. I didn't agree to... |
| 01:16:48 |
This place makes Nutley look like crap. |
| 01:16:56 |
I'll miss you, Bender, |
| 01:16:59 |
You and your robots |
| 01:17:01 |
Here, these are the keys |
| 01:17:04 |
Lock up when the world ends. |
| 01:17:07 |
Goodbye, my friend. |
| 01:17:12 |
Wait. |
| 01:17:13 |
Let me come with you. |
| 01:17:15 |
I'm sorry, Bender. |
| 01:17:25 |
Death to humans. |
| 01:17:33 |
Welcome, welcome, everyone. |
| 01:17:37 |
I wish I'd had more time to straighten up. |
| 01:17:40 |
Oh, relax, it's fine. It looks lived in. |
| 01:17:44 |
Let's heat up some leftovers |
| 01:17:47 |
I have only one request. |
| 01:17:49 |
Now that you're here, |
| 01:17:50 |
promise me |
| 01:17:53 |
with any other universe. |
| 01:17:55 |
We promise, Yivo. |
| 01:17:57 |
As far as we're concerned, |
| 01:18:10 |
- Has humanity called? |
| 01:18:13 |
Check my messages. |
| 01:18:16 |
I know what it means. |
| 01:18:23 |
Am I the only one |
| 01:18:25 |
Yes. |
| 01:18:27 |
This isn't heaven. |
| 01:18:29 |
It just looks exactly like it, |
| 01:18:32 |
which I find suspicious. |
| 01:18:34 |
Allow me to explain. |
| 01:18:36 |
Centuries ago, I sent an image of myself |
| 01:18:40 |
The heavenly clouds they painted |
| 01:18:46 |
I wish I exuded anything |
| 01:18:50 |
Then what about these angels? |
| 01:18:52 |
Some kind of Scooby Doo-esque |
| 01:18:55 |
Actually, |
| 01:18:57 |
They keep my surface |
| 01:19:03 |
You didn't like |
| 01:19:05 |
There's no pleasing you. |
| 01:19:08 |
Dearest Bender. |
| 01:19:12 |
Everyone is happy here except Leela, |
| 01:19:15 |
She didn't like Country Bear Jamboree, |
| 01:19:18 |
I'm so madly in love with Yivo, |
| 01:19:20 |
I feel like a schoolgirl |
| 01:19:23 |
and then she moves |
| 01:19:26 |
We have giant rubies |
| 01:19:28 |
Sincerely, Fry. |
| 01:19:39 |
- Letter for you, hyperlord Bender. |
| 01:19:43 |
Honeymoon's over, eh? |
| 01:19:44 |
Turns out your octopus girlfriend |
| 01:19:47 |
with curlers in her tentacles, huh? |
| 01:19:49 |
Well, let's just see |
| 01:19:54 |
Oh. |
| 01:20:00 |
Stupid electro-matter. |
| 01:20:03 |
Pain sensor overload. |
| 01:20:09 |
Misfile me under "U" For "euphoric." |
| 01:20:14 |
You get an infinite number of meat dishes, |
| 01:20:20 |
Eureka. |
| 01:20:21 |
Another elementary proof |
| 01:20:27 |
Okay, I admit people seem happy. |
| 01:20:29 |
But it's all so wholesome. |
| 01:20:32 |
And that's what's wrong with heaven. |
| 01:20:34 |
It's boring. There's no sleaze. |
| 01:20:37 |
- It time snu-snu. |
| 01:20:41 |
Last one to mattress island |
| 01:20:46 |
Why were we so angry |
| 01:20:50 |
I don't know. It was all so childish. |
| 01:20:55 |
Look, it's Leela. |
| 01:20:57 |
- Hi, Leela. |
| 01:20:59 |
I'm sorry you're not happy here, Leela. |
| 01:21:03 |
You'll always be my little purple pumpkin. |
| 01:21:07 |
You know, Yivo, |
| 01:21:09 |
I've loved and lost so many times |
| 01:21:13 |
But I'm not anymore. |
| 01:21:14 |
I want to stay here, with you. |
| 01:21:21 |
Ow! Ow! |
| 01:21:22 |
What's happening? |
| 01:21:25 |
Hey! |
| 01:21:44 |
If robots can't go to heaven, |
| 01:21:59 |
All hands abaft. |
| 01:22:00 |
Army of the damned, |
| 01:22:20 |
Take that, you scurvy Kraken. |
| 01:22:23 |
That'll teach you |
| 01:22:31 |
Hello, big beak. |
| 01:22:39 |
Too slow. |
| 01:22:41 |
Missed me again. |
| 01:22:43 |
Me footcup. |
| 01:22:46 |
I'll stab you. |
| 01:22:49 |
- Bender, stop destroying heaven. |
| 01:22:56 |
Leave my living beings alone! |
| 01:22:59 |
Something you, a lifeless mechanism, |
| 01:23:03 |
He's right, Bender. Please, |
| 01:23:07 |
Seriously? |
| 01:23:09 |
But, I did this whole |
| 01:23:13 |
Wait a second. Let me see that sword. |
| 01:23:16 |
Fry, where did he get this electro-matter? |
| 01:23:20 |
Um... |
| 01:23:21 |
Is it dry up here? |
| 01:23:23 |
How could you, Fry? |
| 01:23:25 |
Why do you think I asked you |
| 01:23:29 |
- I didn't think... |
| 01:23:32 |
You broke your promise |
| 01:23:36 |
Just go. All of you. |
| 01:23:48 |
Ow! |
| 01:23:50 |
I must leave now. |
| 01:23:52 |
The nature of your universe is burning me, |
| 01:23:56 |
even worse than my gonorrhea. |
| 01:23:58 |
You should get checked, by the way. |
| 01:24:00 |
If I don't go home now, I'll shkluffocate. |
| 01:24:04 |
Let me go with you. |
| 01:24:08 |
We'll make a fire and play Uno. |
| 01:24:09 |
Fry, stop. |
| 01:24:11 |
- That's who we were, not who we are. |
| 01:24:15 |
My only consolation is that |
| 01:24:19 |
who truly understands me. |
| 01:24:22 |
Colleen? |
| 01:24:23 |
- Wait a second, are you and Yivo... |
| 01:24:27 |
Thank you for introducing us. |
| 01:24:29 |
Yivo has taught me |
| 01:24:32 |
Oh, great. |
| 01:24:35 |
Go home. |
| 01:24:36 |
Find a girl from your own universe |
| 01:24:40 |
Saved you. |
| 01:25:03 |
Maybe Yivo was right. |
| 01:25:05 |
Maybe I should look |
| 01:25:08 |
- I don't know, Leela, you think maybe... |
| 01:25:12 |
You forgot me quick enough |
| 01:25:15 |
That's true. |
| 01:25:16 |
- How about you, Amy? |
| 01:25:19 |
- I'm Kif's Fonfon Ru. |
| 01:25:22 |
Well, then perhaps you misunderstood |
| 01:25:25 |
It means, "One who doesn't sleep |
| 01:25:29 |
That's the literal translation. |
| 01:25:30 |
Give the poor girl a break, Kif. |
| 01:25:34 |
She was butt naked, for God's sakes. |
| 01:25:38 |
So, Wernstrom, |
| 01:25:41 |
did you happen to notice |
| 01:25:45 |
Pure diamondium. |
| 01:25:46 |
More like pure crap-crapium. |
| 01:26:00 |
Captain on deck. |
| 01:26:01 |
At ease, buckos. |
| 01:26:03 |
Bender, why did you do it? |
| 01:26:06 |
And we were in love. |
| 01:26:08 |
- That wasn't love. |
| 01:26:11 |
Because Bender knows love. |
| 01:26:14 |
And love doesn't share itself |
| 01:26:17 |
Love is suspicious, love is needy, |
| 01:26:20 |
love is fearful, love is greedy. |
| 01:26:23 |
My friends, there is no great love |
| 01:26:31 |
I love you, meatbags. |
| 01:27:16 |
Twenty-four... |
| 01:27:17 |
I'm gonna get |
