|
Good Luck Chuck
|
| 00:00:53 |
All right, Kent! |
| 00:00:56 |
Go, Hayley. |
| 00:00:58 |
Seven minutes. |
| 00:00:59 |
Go get 'em, cowboy. |
| 00:01:01 |
See you in seven minutes. |
| 00:01:06 |
Stu, run it by me again. |
| 00:01:09 |
Kissing is first base. |
| 00:01:10 |
Second base is boob. |
| 00:01:12 |
- Third base is- |
| 00:01:13 |
- Finger? |
| 00:01:16 |
Okay. |
| 00:01:17 |
Charlie, trust me. |
| 00:01:20 |
Second base is what |
| 00:01:22 |
I'm all about |
| 00:01:24 |
Okay. |
| 00:01:26 |
An intentional walk |
| 00:01:29 |
An inside park home run |
| 00:01:31 |
What's a blow job? |
| 00:01:32 |
I have no idea, |
| 00:01:34 |
but I overheard |
| 00:01:35 |
that he gets one |
| 00:01:37 |
So it must be good. |
| 00:01:52 |
Yeah! |
| 00:01:53 |
You, me. |
| 00:01:55 |
Closet. |
| 00:01:57 |
Seven minutes. |
| 00:01:58 |
Heaven. |
| 00:02:00 |
He's so gross. |
| 00:02:04 |
Sorry, Jennifer. |
| 00:02:13 |
Stop. |
| 00:02:15 |
Don't touch me. |
| 00:02:16 |
Stand on that side |
| 00:02:18 |
and I'll say we kissed. |
| 00:02:19 |
I will... if you say |
| 00:02:22 |
No. |
| 00:02:25 |
Say I touched |
| 00:02:27 |
No! |
| 00:02:30 |
Okay. |
| 00:02:32 |
I kissed your boobies. |
| 00:02:57 |
Anisha! |
| 00:03:05 |
Stop staring. |
| 00:03:07 |
I'm looking at you |
| 00:03:10 |
It's okay. |
| 00:03:11 |
Come on. You can |
| 00:03:13 |
That's okay. |
| 00:03:16 |
Let me see your penis. |
| 00:03:19 |
What's the matter? |
| 00:03:22 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:03:24 |
That's my boy. |
| 00:03:26 |
He's probably |
| 00:03:33 |
Anisha! |
| 00:03:36 |
I love you, Charlie. |
| 00:03:37 |
I've loved you |
| 00:03:38 |
Um... thank you? |
| 00:03:40 |
So you like to play |
| 00:03:42 |
Back off! |
| 00:03:44 |
I've read |
| 00:03:45 |
this is supposed |
| 00:03:50 |
Don't worry. |
| 00:03:52 |
First time what, killing? |
| 00:03:54 |
No, Charlie. |
| 00:03:57 |
Get off me, you freak! |
| 00:04:04 |
Charlie Logan, you are not |
| 00:04:07 |
I hex you! |
| 00:04:09 |
You what? |
| 00:04:10 |
I hex you. |
| 00:04:15 |
Around you love will fall |
| 00:04:17 |
But you won't hold it. |
| 00:04:20 |
Once the girl |
| 00:04:22 |
to the next she will be true! |
| 00:04:26 |
Was that Phil Collins? |
| 00:04:35 |
What happened? |
| 00:04:37 |
Did you thumb her? |
| 00:04:52 |
Charlie, we could get arrested |
| 00:04:55 |
I like the way you think. |
| 00:05:16 |
Okay. |
| 00:05:25 |
All right! |
| 00:05:27 |
Oh, my- |
| 00:05:32 |
I love you. |
| 00:05:35 |
I love you! |
| 00:05:37 |
Thank you. |
| 00:05:39 |
I love you, Charlie. |
| 00:05:41 |
Oh, that's nice. |
| 00:05:44 |
"That's nice"? |
| 00:05:46 |
I'm licking the sand |
| 00:05:48 |
and you say, |
| 00:05:49 |
No, I said, |
| 00:05:51 |
I said, "Oh, my God" |
| 00:05:55 |
Hey, listen, I'm sorry. |
| 00:05:57 |
I just don't think the "L" word |
| 00:06:02 |
The "L" word? |
| 00:06:04 |
How about the "F" word |
| 00:06:27 |
I can't believe |
| 00:06:29 |
She was so into you. |
| 00:06:30 |
Yeah, well, she was |
| 00:06:35 |
It's that word, Stu: love. |
| 00:06:38 |
I wanted to say it, |
| 00:06:40 |
How can I say something |
| 00:06:43 |
Easy. Lie. |
| 00:06:45 |
What do you think |
| 00:06:47 |
Lies. |
| 00:06:48 |
"No, honey, your ass |
| 00:06:51 |
"Honey, |
| 00:06:54 |
"You're kidding me. That sore right there? |
| 00:06:56 |
You know what I'm saying? |
| 00:06:57 |
So, then, who are you |
| 00:07:00 |
Oh, I don't know. |
| 00:07:02 |
Do bridesmaids give head |
| 00:07:03 |
Of course I want to go! |
| 00:07:06 |
You know how easy it is |
| 00:07:09 |
Have you ever scored |
| 00:07:12 |
Pacing myself. |
| 00:07:13 |
Must be weird. |
| 00:07:15 |
You were dating Katie |
| 00:07:17 |
and now she's |
| 00:07:18 |
I'm a doctor. |
| 00:07:20 |
He's a heart surgeon. |
| 00:07:22 |
It's like saying |
| 00:07:24 |
are both military men. |
| 00:07:26 |
Hi, Dr. Stu. |
| 00:07:28 |
Natalie. |
| 00:07:35 |
I jerk off |
| 00:07:38 |
God, I love my job. |
| 00:07:40 |
Every day is like Christmas. |
| 00:07:42 |
Who are you |
| 00:07:48 |
Dr. Charlie, |
| 00:07:50 |
You've got four fillings, |
| 00:07:52 |
two crowns, and a canal. |
| 00:07:53 |
You've got too many patients, |
| 00:07:55 |
and I've got too little patience |
| 00:07:57 |
for you to be gabbing gossip |
| 00:07:58 |
with Dr. Boob Jobs in the hallway. |
| 00:08:00 |
How are you today, Reba? |
| 00:08:02 |
Were you just |
| 00:08:04 |
Because I am more than happy |
| 00:08:05 |
with what the Lord Almighty gave me. |
| 00:08:07 |
I wasn't looking at your- |
| 00:08:09 |
Come on, Dr. Charlie. |
| 00:08:21 |
I don't want anybody else |
| 00:08:25 |
When I think about you, |
| 00:08:29 |
I don't want |
| 00:08:34 |
When I think about you, |
| 00:08:38 |
You are what- |
| 00:08:40 |
Okay, you're my wingman. |
| 00:08:41 |
If the blonde asks, |
| 00:08:43 |
I'm the billionaire |
| 00:08:46 |
If it's that redhead, |
| 00:08:47 |
tell her I wrote |
| 00:08:49 |
And, uh, if it's |
| 00:08:51 |
my penis is in |
| 00:08:53 |
girth, not length. |
| 00:08:55 |
I want it to sound believable. |
| 00:08:56 |
Holy shit. |
| 00:09:01 |
Activate pelvis. |
| 00:09:13 |
Yo, yo, yo, hold on |
| 00:09:16 |
The hostess |
| 00:09:19 |
has got a toastess. |
| 00:09:28 |
I just want to thank everybody |
| 00:09:30 |
for coming to share |
| 00:09:32 |
I couldn't imagine |
| 00:09:34 |
than I am right now. |
| 00:09:36 |
Wait till tonight, sweetheart. |
| 00:09:39 |
I know it's |
| 00:09:41 |
but I'd also like |
| 00:09:46 |
to Charlie Logan. |
| 00:09:47 |
Thank you, Charlie, |
| 00:09:52 |
To Charlie! |
| 00:09:53 |
- To Charlie. |
| 00:10:01 |
So, you're that Charlie? |
| 00:10:03 |
What Charlie? |
| 00:10:04 |
You know, Charlie, |
| 00:10:33 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:10:35 |
- Oh, no. Are you okay? |
| 00:10:37 |
- I'm all right. |
| 00:10:39 |
Sorry about that. |
| 00:10:41 |
Oh, jeez. |
| 00:10:43 |
Here you go. |
| 00:10:44 |
- Thanks. |
| 00:10:46 |
Oh. There I am. |
| 00:10:49 |
Join us. |
| 00:10:52 |
So, what did I miss? |
| 00:10:54 |
Not much. |
| 00:10:55 |
Same old- |
| 00:10:57 |
"You may |
| 00:10:59 |
White cake |
| 00:11:01 |
and the doves |
| 00:11:03 |
but the doves |
| 00:11:07 |
I'm Cam. I went |
| 00:11:10 |
I'm Charlie. |
| 00:11:12 |
Me, too. |
| 00:11:15 |
Well, no. I mean, |
| 00:11:18 |
experimental thing, |
| 00:11:19 |
We were young. |
| 00:11:28 |
Is this person |
| 00:11:31 |
Waiter, could we |
| 00:11:35 |
What are you going to sing? |
| 00:11:36 |
I'm thinking about |
| 00:11:38 |
Really? |
| 00:11:40 |
- Oh, really? |
| 00:11:45 |
So, Cam, what do you do? |
| 00:11:47 |
I run the Penguin Habitat |
| 00:11:50 |
Seriously, what do you do? |
| 00:11:53 |
- Seriously? |
| 00:11:54 |
I'm a serial killer. |
| 00:11:55 |
My passion is killing people |
| 00:11:58 |
What do you do? |
| 00:11:59 |
FBl. |
| 00:12:01 |
Your run is over, |
| 00:12:03 |
if that's your real name. |
| 00:12:07 |
Actually, I am a dentist. |
| 00:12:09 |
You're a dentist? |
| 00:12:11 |
You'll love me. |
| 00:12:13 |
Want to see? |
| 00:12:15 |
Oh, my! My legs! |
| 00:12:17 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:12:19 |
Water! |
| 00:12:22 |
Oh, no! |
| 00:12:23 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:12:25 |
I'll just get in there and- |
| 00:12:29 |
- That's all right. |
| 00:12:30 |
Wait. |
| 00:12:32 |
- Thanks. |
| 00:12:36 |
Well, here I am. |
| 00:12:37 |
What are your other two wishes? |
| 00:12:40 |
Stu, Cam. |
| 00:12:43 |
- Hi. |
| 00:12:44 |
It's actually Doctor Stu. |
| 00:12:46 |
I'm a reconstructive |
| 00:12:48 |
If anyone has an accident |
| 00:12:51 |
I'm there to help. |
| 00:12:52 |
And by deformity, |
| 00:12:56 |
He's just jealous |
| 00:12:58 |
because he has to clean |
| 00:13:00 |
while I'm out |
| 00:13:03 |
Cam, you will not |
| 00:13:06 |
that just tried to pick me up. |
| 00:13:07 |
Oh. Hi. |
| 00:13:09 |
Hi. |
| 00:13:10 |
- Again. |
| 00:13:11 |
Yeah. |
| 00:13:14 |
I got to go. |
| 00:13:15 |
Nice to meet you. |
| 00:13:18 |
Tits and teeth. |
| 00:13:22 |
I don't think |
| 00:13:25 |
Say, uh, ladies- |
| 00:13:29 |
Hey, you. |
| 00:13:31 |
Hey. |
| 00:13:32 |
- You look great. |
| 00:13:34 |
So do you. |
| 00:13:35 |
So, how are you and Carol doing? |
| 00:13:39 |
We're- |
| 00:13:42 |
We're just giving each other |
| 00:13:46 |
I worry about you |
| 00:13:48 |
Always a bridesmaid, |
| 00:13:51 |
It's better |
| 00:13:53 |
than to have never |
| 00:13:55 |
I'll buy that when you can honestly |
| 00:13:59 |
Touché. |
| 00:14:02 |
I just want to see you |
| 00:14:06 |
Attention, hot mamas. |
| 00:14:09 |
Can we have all |
| 00:14:10 |
out on the terrace |
| 00:14:13 |
See you. |
| 00:14:23 |
Ready, ladies? |
| 00:14:24 |
One! |
| 00:14:26 |
Two! |
| 00:14:29 |
Three! |
| 00:14:50 |
Morning, Reba. |
| 00:14:51 |
Good morning, Dr. Logan. |
| 00:14:54 |
Good morning, Doctor. |
| 00:14:57 |
I think I have a cavity. |
| 00:14:59 |
Me, too. |
| 00:15:35 |
- Hey, Sharon. Is Stu in? |
| 00:15:37 |
Sharon- |
| 00:15:40 |
Can you come back here |
| 00:15:49 |
Oh, I'm sorry. |
| 00:15:50 |
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. |
| 00:15:52 |
Dr. Logan- |
| 00:15:56 |
This is Pleasure. |
| 00:15:58 |
Nice to meet you. |
| 00:15:59 |
The pleasure's all mine. |
| 00:16:01 |
Get it? |
| 00:16:03 |
"The pleasure's all mine"? |
| 00:16:04 |
My name is Pleasure. |
| 00:16:06 |
That is... enormously clever. |
| 00:16:13 |
We need |
| 00:16:14 |
What do you think? |
| 00:16:17 |
Are they even? |
| 00:16:19 |
So you knew they were even. |
| 00:16:20 |
Of course they were even. I did them. |
| 00:16:22 |
I just wanted you to see them |
| 00:16:23 |
without having to pay |
| 00:16:25 |
How did you get a license |
| 00:16:27 |
You need a license? |
| 00:16:28 |
Listen, have you noticed |
| 00:16:32 |
Other than your aversion |
| 00:16:36 |
Women seem to be |
| 00:16:39 |
in an unusual manner. |
| 00:16:41 |
Really? |
| 00:16:51 |
That's crazy. |
| 00:16:54 |
Charlie! Stuart. |
| 00:16:56 |
Carol. |
| 00:16:57 |
Are these back |
| 00:17:01 |
You're getting married. |
| 00:17:03 |
What can I say? |
| 00:17:05 |
I guess you are |
| 00:17:25 |
You have 14 new messages. |
| 00:17:27 |
Message 1. |
| 00:17:28 |
Hey, Charlie. |
| 00:17:30 |
You don't know me, |
| 00:17:32 |
but I got your number |
| 00:17:34 |
I was wondering |
| 00:17:36 |
for drinks |
| 00:17:38 |
Hi, Charlie. |
| 00:17:40 |
I normally don't do this, but I'm desperate. |
| 00:17:42 |
I'm not sure how you |
| 00:17:45 |
but I'm 5'10", blonde- |
| 00:17:48 |
Hello, Charlie. |
| 00:17:49 |
Uh, actually in town- |
| 00:17:52 |
Hi. My name is Bob. |
| 00:17:53 |
No, it's not a wrong number. |
| 00:17:56 |
Hi. This is Cindy. |
| 00:17:57 |
I'm a friend of Katie's- |
| 00:17:59 |
Hey, my name's Colleen- |
| 00:18:01 |
Hey, there. |
| 00:18:03 |
StairMaster buddies? |
| 00:18:09 |
Eat up, Shadow. |
| 00:18:11 |
Last chance before bedtime. |
| 00:18:13 |
Good boy. |
| 00:18:16 |
Grumpy, don't be a pig. |
| 00:18:18 |
Don't be a pig. |
| 00:18:22 |
There you go. |
| 00:18:23 |
Good boy. |
| 00:18:26 |
Here, Dougie. |
| 00:18:29 |
Come here, Tina. |
| 00:18:31 |
Grumpy, |
| 00:18:35 |
Joe, hurry up! |
| 00:18:36 |
I want to go home. |
| 00:18:42 |
Did you get lost |
| 00:18:44 |
Sorry. |
| 00:18:45 |
Just taking five... |
| 00:18:47 |
hits from my bong. |
| 00:18:49 |
If they catch you with weed, |
| 00:18:52 |
They don't care |
| 00:18:53 |
Oh, take a chillaxitive. |
| 00:18:55 |
How is anybody |
| 00:18:58 |
Maybe 'cause you smell like you've been |
| 00:19:01 |
Sweet. |
| 00:19:03 |
What's that in your pocket? |
| 00:19:08 |
Oh, I was looking for this. |
| 00:19:10 |
Three months. |
| 00:19:12 |
Hey, Skully. |
| 00:19:19 |
Joe! |
| 00:19:28 |
And you think I look wasted. |
| 00:19:36 |
Grumpy, no! |
| 00:19:50 |
You okay? |
| 00:19:52 |
I think I chipped a tooth. |
| 00:19:55 |
It's great to finally meet you. |
| 00:19:57 |
Let me get that for you. |
| 00:19:58 |
- Oh, thank you. |
| 00:20:02 |
- All right? |
| 00:20:09 |
All right. |
| 00:20:11 |
Are you ready? |
| 00:20:12 |
Yeah, let's go. |
| 00:20:19 |
Don't you want to, uh- |
| 00:20:20 |
What? |
| 00:20:23 |
I don't know, |
| 00:20:25 |
Is that how this works? |
| 00:20:27 |
How what works? |
| 00:20:29 |
The thing. |
| 00:20:30 |
The thing. The magic. |
| 00:20:32 |
The charm. |
| 00:20:35 |
Wait a second. |
| 00:20:38 |
Gretel, what the hell |
| 00:20:40 |
You're a lucky charm. |
| 00:20:42 |
and then they find |
| 00:20:44 |
Isn't that how it works? |
| 00:20:46 |
Has everybody |
| 00:20:47 |
That's ridiculous. |
| 00:20:48 |
Do you want top |
| 00:20:50 |
Put that back |
| 00:20:52 |
That's- No. |
| 00:20:54 |
I don't want to take |
| 00:21:00 |
Look, don't take this |
| 00:21:03 |
I'm certainly not. |
| 00:21:04 |
I'm doing this on a lark. |
| 00:21:06 |
And you won't be |
| 00:21:08 |
Do you know how many |
| 00:21:11 |
Do you know how many times |
| 00:21:14 |
body, mind, soul- |
| 00:21:16 |
hoping that this was it, |
| 00:21:18 |
only to find out he was |
| 00:21:23 |
Look, if there's a chance- |
| 00:21:25 |
I mean even a. 0001 %%% chance |
| 00:21:30 |
that being with you could |
| 00:21:34 |
well, I think I'd be |
| 00:21:41 |
Do you want to have sex |
| 00:21:44 |
Actually, I have dinner plans. |
| 00:21:48 |
I got to get that. |
| 00:21:51 |
Oh. Emergency. |
| 00:21:53 |
Dr. Logan speaking. |
| 00:21:54 |
Hey, it's Cam Wexler. |
| 00:21:56 |
Remember, |
| 00:21:58 |
The serial killer? |
| 00:22:04 |
Yeah. Yeah, hi. |
| 00:22:06 |
I'm sorry to bother you, |
| 00:22:07 |
but I have a bit |
| 00:22:10 |
You don't have to make up stories, Cam. |
| 00:22:12 |
If you want to see me, |
| 00:22:15 |
No, seriously. |
| 00:22:17 |
and it's Saturday night, |
| 00:22:18 |
and I don't know |
| 00:22:20 |
Oh, you chipped a tooth? |
| 00:22:22 |
I slipped while having |
| 00:22:24 |
slid down an ice ramp, |
| 00:22:25 |
got tackled by a penguin, |
| 00:22:27 |
and fell face-first |
| 00:22:29 |
This is very common. |
| 00:22:31 |
Do you know |
| 00:22:33 |
Yeah. I got your card |
| 00:22:36 |
I can be there |
| 00:22:37 |
20 minutes. |
| 00:22:40 |
Okay. |
| 00:22:54 |
Okay, all fixed. |
| 00:22:56 |
Does that hurt? |
| 00:22:59 |
Can you describe the penguin |
| 00:23:01 |
Very funny. |
| 00:23:02 |
You can rinse. |
| 00:23:07 |
So what really happened? |
| 00:23:08 |
Did you get caught |
| 00:23:10 |
of some North Pole- |
| 00:23:12 |
There are no penguins |
| 00:23:14 |
That's polar bears. |
| 00:23:15 |
You really are |
| 00:23:17 |
Oh, you have no idea. |
| 00:23:19 |
Obsessed is putting it mildly. |
| 00:23:21 |
I believe you. |
| 00:23:23 |
Oh, what's that? |
| 00:23:25 |
Oh, I travel |
| 00:23:29 |
to help some |
| 00:23:31 |
That's so sweet. |
| 00:23:37 |
Sorry! |
| 00:23:38 |
Oh! Oh, no! |
| 00:23:39 |
They're in there! |
| 00:23:40 |
- What's in there? |
| 00:23:42 |
Oh, here. |
| 00:23:44 |
Oh, I'm sorry. |
| 00:23:46 |
This is bad. |
| 00:23:48 |
- You're hurt. |
| 00:23:49 |
I'm so sorry. |
| 00:23:51 |
Should have worn |
| 00:23:52 |
Oh, this always |
| 00:23:55 |
Are you okay? |
| 00:23:57 |
Yes. |
| 00:23:58 |
- You sure? |
| 00:23:59 |
Man. I hope you let me |
| 00:24:03 |
No. No, really. |
| 00:24:06 |
But I hope you'll let me |
| 00:24:10 |
sometime. |
| 00:24:11 |
Trust me, you can do |
| 00:24:13 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:24:17 |
How much do I owe you |
| 00:24:19 |
Wait a second. |
| 00:24:21 |
but you won't |
| 00:24:24 |
Please, how much? |
| 00:24:27 |
No. |
| 00:24:28 |
Your money's no good here. |
| 00:24:30 |
You sure? |
| 00:24:32 |
I will not accept that. |
| 00:24:33 |
Really? |
| 00:24:35 |
Thank you. |
| 00:24:36 |
Yes. |
| 00:24:38 |
- I'm sorry. |
| 00:24:42 |
See you in six months |
| 00:24:45 |
- Bye. |
| 00:25:02 |
Change your mind? |
| 00:25:04 |
My car won't start. |
| 00:25:06 |
Sure it won't. |
| 00:25:07 |
No, really. |
| 00:25:12 |
Fine. |
| 00:25:14 |
No, no, no, wait. |
| 00:25:24 |
Now? |
| 00:25:25 |
Not now. |
| 00:25:28 |
Now? |
| 00:25:33 |
Oh! |
| 00:25:36 |
You okay? |
| 00:25:37 |
Yep. |
| 00:25:38 |
Let's- |
| 00:25:39 |
I'm so sorry. |
| 00:25:40 |
No, no. It's fine. |
| 00:25:42 |
Cauterized my wounds. |
| 00:25:46 |
Thank you. |
| 00:25:47 |
Thank you for fixing my tooth |
| 00:25:50 |
and jumping my car. |
| 00:25:51 |
Don't mention it. |
| 00:25:58 |
And thank you |
| 00:26:00 |
to get my spare |
| 00:26:08 |
I have a feeling |
| 00:26:12 |
My brother |
| 00:26:14 |
Murphy? |
| 00:26:15 |
You know, |
| 00:26:17 |
anything that can |
| 00:26:19 |
Details. |
| 00:26:21 |
Check out the thumb. |
| 00:26:24 |
Holy crap! |
| 00:26:25 |
What, did you get |
| 00:26:28 |
How many bones |
| 00:26:30 |
- 12. |
| 00:26:32 |
I'm warning you, |
| 00:26:35 |
Come on. I can't believe |
| 00:26:39 |
Is this the heat? |
| 00:26:40 |
No! |
| 00:26:45 |
Convertible top. |
| 00:26:46 |
Oops. |
| 00:26:52 |
Keep the meter running. |
| 00:26:53 |
All right. |
| 00:26:54 |
Oh, shit! |
| 00:26:56 |
Shit! Shit! Shit! |
| 00:26:59 |
Pardon my French. |
| 00:27:00 |
I speak a little French, |
| 00:27:03 |
I left my house key |
| 00:27:06 |
You know what? |
| 00:27:25 |
Got it! |
| 00:27:34 |
- Sorry. |
| 00:27:35 |
Yeah. |
| 00:27:36 |
- Hope these are the right keys. |
| 00:27:52 |
Thank you. |
| 00:27:54 |
I'm sorry about the top, |
| 00:27:56 |
and the, uh, |
| 00:27:58 |
and the whole |
| 00:28:01 |
I'd still like |
| 00:28:04 |
I told you. |
| 00:28:08 |
Lunch. |
| 00:28:09 |
Vending machine. |
| 00:28:11 |
Drinks. Water. |
| 00:28:22 |
I'm just... |
| 00:28:23 |
not emotionally available |
| 00:28:26 |
I'm okay with that. |
| 00:28:27 |
I'm looking for more of |
| 00:28:31 |
So I've heard. |
| 00:28:33 |
I was kidding. |
| 00:28:34 |
That was a joke. |
| 00:28:37 |
Okay. I- I get it. |
| 00:28:41 |
So no way, then. |
| 00:28:44 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:28:48 |
Good night, Dr. Logan. |
| 00:28:58 |
Thank you. |
| 00:28:59 |
I, uh... |
| 00:29:01 |
Yeah. |
| 00:29:45 |
Hi, Dr. Charlie. |
| 00:29:46 |
Reba! What the hell |
| 00:29:48 |
Sorry. I didn't mean |
| 00:29:50 |
I used the key you left me |
| 00:29:52 |
What's the emergency? |
| 00:29:54 |
I know about the charm. |
| 00:29:58 |
Not you, too. |
| 00:29:59 |
Somebody |
| 00:30:00 |
on perfectmatch. com |
| 00:30:02 |
It's an internet |
| 00:30:04 |
Yeah, I know what it is. |
| 00:30:05 |
This is out of control. |
| 00:30:07 |
These stories |
| 00:30:08 |
That's what I thought. |
| 00:30:10 |
But then I went |
| 00:30:12 |
and nobody's disproved it. |
| 00:30:14 |
Reba, I'll see you at work on Monday. |
| 00:30:17 |
Dr. Logan, you've always |
| 00:30:19 |
When you need a day off, yes. |
| 00:30:20 |
When you need a lift home, yes. |
| 00:30:22 |
When Reggie died |
| 00:30:24 |
you sent that beautiful card. |
| 00:30:26 |
Do you remember |
| 00:30:27 |
"If there's anything I can do, |
| 00:30:31 |
Yeah, but, uh- |
| 00:30:32 |
Well, I'm letting |
| 00:30:37 |
That's not |
| 00:30:38 |
These panties are edible, |
| 00:30:39 |
but I'd avoid the tush area |
| 00:30:41 |
as I've been sitting |
| 00:30:44 |
Reba, I'm not the guy for you. |
| 00:30:45 |
I'm not saying you are. |
| 00:30:47 |
But the next guy might be. |
| 00:30:49 |
Dr. Charlie, if we're together, |
| 00:30:51 |
I know I'll find my soul mate. |
| 00:30:53 |
That- That's ridiculous. |
| 00:30:57 |
No. |
| 00:30:58 |
No, Reba. Don't cry. |
| 00:31:01 |
Come on, Dr. Charlie. |
| 00:31:03 |
You got to do this for me. |
| 00:31:05 |
- Reba! |
| 00:31:10 |
I can't do this. |
| 00:31:11 |
Don't worry. |
| 00:31:13 |
I'll do everything. |
| 00:31:15 |
Please. |
| 00:31:16 |
Just close your eyes |
| 00:31:19 |
and imagine somebody beautiful. |
| 00:31:34 |
I'll imagine you. |
| 00:31:37 |
No one but you. |
| 00:31:42 |
Reba? |
| 00:31:43 |
You slept with Reba? |
| 00:31:45 |
Shut up. |
| 00:31:47 |
You shut up. |
| 00:31:48 |
What the hell's |
| 00:31:49 |
You're telling me |
| 00:31:51 |
to turn any hot chick |
| 00:31:53 |
any hot chick- |
| 00:31:54 |
into a knob-gobbling, |
| 00:31:58 |
and you're out there |
| 00:32:01 |
You don't know |
| 00:32:04 |
Thank God I wasn't there. |
| 00:32:05 |
It's disgusting. |
| 00:32:07 |
You're nasty. |
| 00:32:09 |
How was she? |
| 00:32:12 |
Dude, check it. |
| 00:32:13 |
You see, that is |
| 00:32:16 |
I could suck a fart |
| 00:32:18 |
and hold it |
| 00:32:25 |
Nice stop, kid. |
| 00:32:29 |
Dude, these chicks, |
| 00:32:31 |
they think that you're, |
| 00:32:33 |
I mean, |
| 00:32:35 |
she marries the next guy |
| 00:32:37 |
It's not true. |
| 00:32:39 |
Who cares if it's true? |
| 00:32:40 |
Wake up, man. |
| 00:32:42 |
You got it made. |
| 00:32:43 |
What is it |
| 00:32:46 |
To get married, |
| 00:32:48 |
raise crib midgets, |
| 00:32:50 |
and apparently, buddy, |
| 00:32:52 |
you got the ticket |
| 00:32:54 |
Do you know |
| 00:32:56 |
Trim. |
| 00:32:58 |
You're going to be seeing |
| 00:33:01 |
like Colin Farrell, |
| 00:33:02 |
like Ellen DeGeneres- |
| 00:33:07 |
Have you considered |
| 00:33:09 |
you haven't been laid |
| 00:33:11 |
has something to do with |
| 00:33:14 |
Yeah! |
| 00:33:15 |
Seven days a week, 56 weeks a year, trim! |
| 00:33:20 |
That's my bad. |
| 00:33:22 |
Where's your manners, shithead? |
| 00:33:24 |
What did you say to me? |
| 00:33:28 |
Little help here, honey? |
| 00:33:33 |
Look, you and I are different, okay? |
| 00:33:35 |
Besides the fact |
| 00:33:37 |
I don't want |
| 00:33:39 |
- Dude. |
| 00:33:40 |
Was Martin Luther King, |
| 00:33:43 |
when he said that thing |
| 00:33:45 |
I don't think so. |
| 00:33:47 |
Was Gandhi taking advantage |
| 00:33:51 |
No. |
| 00:33:52 |
And don't tell me |
| 00:33:54 |
some sweet-ass |
| 00:33:56 |
Gandhi was Indian. |
| 00:33:58 |
They don't like |
| 00:34:00 |
Dude, I thought |
| 00:34:03 |
I do. |
| 00:34:04 |
So stop dipping your foot in the pool |
| 00:34:08 |
And think about this, man. |
| 00:34:10 |
You'd be providing |
| 00:34:13 |
You'd be helping women find love. |
| 00:34:16 |
Now, don't come bitching to me |
| 00:34:17 |
you haven't found Miss Right yet |
| 00:34:19 |
if you got women lining up |
| 00:34:21 |
and you're turning |
| 00:34:27 |
Nice. |
| 00:34:30 |
I guess. |
| 00:34:32 |
If I did it for the right reasons. |
| 00:34:34 |
Whatever helps you |
| 00:35:10 |
No, no, no. Whoa, whoa. |
| 00:35:12 |
Something wrong? |
| 00:35:14 |
They're for the baby. |
| 00:35:16 |
You have a baby? |
| 00:35:18 |
No, but I will someday. |
| 00:35:27 |
It's really good. |
| 00:35:29 |
Fuck me. |
| 00:35:33 |
Fuck me harder. |
| 00:35:36 |
Oh. |
| 00:35:38 |
Fuck me! |
| 00:35:40 |
- Fuck me! |
| 00:35:42 |
Fuck me, you cocksucking, |
| 00:35:44 |
Split my pussy in two! |
| 00:35:46 |
You motherfucking asshole! |
| 00:35:52 |
Is something wrong? |
| 00:36:30 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:36:32 |
Oh, God! |
| 00:36:35 |
Oh, God! |
| 00:36:39 |
God, my savior! |
| 00:36:42 |
I shall adore thee from now |
| 00:36:46 |
Oh! Amen! |
| 00:36:50 |
Would you like to |
| 00:36:53 |
Uh... no. |
| 00:37:19 |
Yeah, I don't do that with men. |
| 00:37:30 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:37:32 |
That's it! |
| 00:37:34 |
That's definitely it! |
| 00:37:36 |
That'll be my wedding dress. |
| 00:37:37 |
What do you think? |
| 00:37:56 |
Megan, I swear I know you |
| 00:37:58 |
We went to high school together. |
| 00:38:02 |
Megan... |
| 00:38:04 |
What's your last name? |
| 00:38:06 |
Gilles. |
| 00:38:07 |
Gilles. |
| 00:38:10 |
God, you do look like him. |
| 00:38:13 |
Actually, that was me |
| 00:38:32 |
Thanks. |
| 00:38:36 |
You're welcome. |
| 00:38:40 |
- This just isn't working for me. |
| 00:38:43 |
You're just gonna give up |
| 00:38:45 |
These girls don't want |
| 00:38:47 |
They want to be |
| 00:38:49 |
So what? The road |
| 00:38:52 |
It's not that satisfying. |
| 00:38:55 |
I'll tell you not satisfying. |
| 00:38:57 |
Last night I masturbated |
| 00:39:02 |
I put it in the microwave. |
| 00:39:03 |
I heated it up |
| 00:39:05 |
but... |
| 00:39:06 |
still. |
| 00:39:15 |
You know, I read somewhere |
| 00:39:30 |
You have 108 messages. |
| 00:39:33 |
Messages deleted. |
| 00:39:50 |
The female lays a single egg |
| 00:39:52 |
and rolls it onto |
| 00:39:54 |
The male stands |
| 00:39:57 |
until it hatches, |
| 00:40:00 |
Having built up |
| 00:40:02 |
to sustain him |
| 00:40:04 |
he never leaves the egg |
| 00:40:07 |
The female returns just |
| 00:40:14 |
If you have any questions, |
| 00:40:24 |
What are you doing here? |
| 00:40:26 |
Are you telling me |
| 00:40:27 |
really lives off |
| 00:40:30 |
while he's protecting |
| 00:40:31 |
You think that the female could bring him, |
| 00:40:33 |
Seriously, why are you here? |
| 00:40:37 |
Look, I don't buy the whole |
| 00:40:39 |
"I'm not emotionally available" thing. |
| 00:40:41 |
Are you dying? |
| 00:40:42 |
Is that why you don't want |
| 00:40:44 |
Because you don't wanna |
| 00:40:45 |
No, I'm not dying. |
| 00:40:47 |
Well, I'm not dying either, |
| 00:40:49 |
Am I not your type? |
| 00:40:52 |
I think you should go. |
| 00:40:54 |
No, I think |
| 00:40:56 |
because I paid $38.00 |
| 00:40:59 |
And I'm not leaving |
| 00:41:01 |
Is this the dude? |
| 00:41:02 |
- No. Joe! |
| 00:41:04 |
Why aren't you wearing your shirt? |
| 00:41:06 |
- Has she been talking about me? |
| 00:41:07 |
- No! |
| 00:41:08 |
I am the dude! |
| 00:41:11 |
No, I mentioned you in passing. |
| 00:41:13 |
I said you were funny. |
| 00:41:14 |
- Oh. |
| 00:41:16 |
And I said you were |
| 00:41:19 |
good-looking, and... |
| 00:41:21 |
you have a nice smile. |
| 00:41:22 |
Oh, I would not go out with me, either. |
| 00:41:26 |
Excuse me, miss? |
| 00:41:29 |
doesn't bring back food |
| 00:41:32 |
'Cause the daddy penguin |
| 00:41:38 |
I have another question. |
| 00:41:40 |
Why won't you go out with Charlie? |
| 00:41:44 |
- She'd love to. |
| 00:41:47 |
Why are you taking his side? |
| 00:41:49 |
Because I know |
| 00:41:52 |
Another word, |
| 00:41:55 |
Go put a shirt on. |
| 00:41:59 |
Look, how about this. |
| 00:42:01 |
Why don't you eat, |
| 00:42:02 |
and I'll just digest my own lard. |
| 00:42:07 |
Look... |
| 00:42:08 |
I just... |
| 00:42:10 |
I know three women |
| 00:42:12 |
I'm just not into dating |
| 00:42:17 |
Wait, you said if anybody |
| 00:42:19 |
- No! I'm not going out with you! |
| 00:42:21 |
That was the little girl's question. |
| 00:42:24 |
What is that penguin |
| 00:42:29 |
That's a Gentoo, |
| 00:42:32 |
of penguin that is |
| 00:42:35 |
I hope that answers |
| 00:42:36 |
Oh, and penguins are unique |
| 00:42:38 |
in that mate selection |
| 00:42:41 |
Much like our relationship. |
| 00:42:44 |
Why do you wanna take me |
| 00:42:46 |
You look hungry. |
| 00:42:47 |
Seriously. |
| 00:42:50 |
- Seriously? |
| 00:42:53 |
Because you remind me |
| 00:42:57 |
Yes, they're kind of |
| 00:43:02 |
Yet in the water, |
| 00:43:11 |
Okay. |
| 00:43:13 |
Okay, what? |
| 00:43:14 |
- Okay, dinner. |
| 00:43:16 |
Don't push it. |
| 00:43:18 |
But only as friends... |
| 00:43:21 |
because if you must know, |
| 00:43:25 |
His name is Howard Blaine. |
| 00:43:27 |
He is a foremost expert on penguins, |
| 00:43:29 |
and I'm meeting him |
| 00:43:32 |
I'm interested in him. |
| 00:43:34 |
Well, I'm interested |
| 00:43:35 |
a wacky line dance |
| 00:43:38 |
but we both know |
| 00:43:41 |
One date as friends. |
| 00:43:43 |
Fine. |
| 00:43:45 |
Bye. |
| 00:43:48 |
I'm okay. |
| 00:43:49 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:43:53 |
Bye. |
| 00:44:12 |
So do sharks get cavities? |
| 00:44:14 |
No. |
| 00:44:16 |
- You have no idea, do you. |
| 00:44:19 |
I thought we were gonna |
| 00:44:21 |
Isn't that the point |
| 00:44:23 |
Is that your question? |
| 00:44:25 |
No, my question is... |
| 00:44:28 |
Why penguins? Why? |
| 00:44:31 |
Why teeth? |
| 00:44:32 |
Same as every other dentist. |
| 00:44:33 |
Couldn't get |
| 00:44:34 |
That's funny. |
| 00:44:36 |
My parents didn't think so. |
| 00:44:38 |
So really, why penguins? |
| 00:44:41 |
Couldn't get into shark school. |
| 00:44:45 |
I don't know, |
| 00:44:47 |
For one, you can't help but smile |
| 00:44:49 |
Yeah, plus they have that bad-ass tuxedo |
| 00:44:53 |
I know! They're just so cute. |
| 00:44:54 |
I just- |
| 00:44:56 |
I just love, love, love 'em! |
| 00:44:59 |
I even go to Antarctica |
| 00:45:01 |
Oh, it's so beautiful there. |
| 00:45:03 |
You know they have |
| 00:45:06 |
You haven't seen beauty |
| 00:45:08 |
Oh, I don't know about that. |
| 00:45:13 |
And the penguin rituals |
| 00:45:16 |
Okay now, by rituals, |
| 00:45:19 |
eating their own poop? |
| 00:45:21 |
No. |
| 00:45:22 |
Like when a male |
| 00:45:24 |
he searches |
| 00:45:26 |
to find the perfect pebble |
| 00:45:28 |
When he finally finds it, |
| 00:45:30 |
he waddles over |
| 00:45:31 |
and presents the stone |
| 00:45:34 |
If she accepts, |
| 00:45:37 |
It's kind of like |
| 00:45:39 |
Yeah, it's unbelievable to watch. |
| 00:45:46 |
I have a feeling |
| 00:45:48 |
that you are |
| 00:45:50 |
And I know this because I spent |
| 00:45:53 |
and I scoped it out. |
| 00:45:55 |
What makes you think |
| 00:46:00 |
You all right? |
| 00:46:02 |
You okay? |
| 00:46:24 |
I guess I was wrong about |
| 00:46:29 |
Come on, we'll find |
| 00:46:30 |
What! |
| 00:46:34 |
Perfectly imperfect? |
| 00:46:37 |
I don't know. |
| 00:46:38 |
I mean, haven't you ever |
| 00:46:41 |
I'm a plastic surgeon. |
| 00:46:43 |
I see a flaw, |
| 00:46:46 |
Hey, are these new? |
| 00:46:48 |
Hey, hey, hey! |
| 00:46:49 |
No, you don't touch these. |
| 00:46:53 |
It's Pamela Anderson's |
| 00:46:55 |
Why are they not implanted |
| 00:46:57 |
It's a reduction, baby. |
| 00:47:00 |
So you're hoping that |
| 00:47:03 |
Some sick dude already did. |
| 00:47:05 |
This dude! |
| 00:47:07 |
What the hell do you want |
| 00:47:09 |
Why the hell do you want |
| 00:47:11 |
To each his own, buddy. |
| 00:47:13 |
Oh, Miss Penguin Pussy. |
| 00:47:15 |
Stu Klaminsky. |
| 00:47:18 |
Anyway, Cam's the one, man. |
| 00:47:22 |
When I'm with her, |
| 00:47:24 |
I mean, I feel like... |
| 00:47:27 |
She just- |
| 00:47:28 |
Completes you. |
| 00:47:30 |
- Screw you. |
| 00:47:31 |
And can I just say |
| 00:47:32 |
that I'm an idiot |
| 00:47:34 |
Public service. |
| 00:47:35 |
May I remind you |
| 00:47:36 |
that you got |
| 00:47:38 |
a fair amount |
| 00:47:39 |
What's sex without love? |
| 00:47:43 |
Sex! |
| 00:47:44 |
It's still sex! |
| 00:47:47 |
Jesus Christ. |
| 00:47:49 |
I never met a guy so bummed |
| 00:47:52 |
Baby gravy? |
| 00:47:54 |
You know, man chowder. |
| 00:47:59 |
Can't believe you're going |
| 00:48:01 |
If she wants me to be |
| 00:48:03 |
I'm going to be |
| 00:48:06 |
You lost me. |
| 00:48:07 |
Gentoo. |
| 00:48:10 |
Who's ridiculed |
| 00:48:15 |
for being a fag. |
| 00:48:19 |
Here it comes! |
| 00:48:29 |
You got some- right there. |
| 00:48:31 |
Thanks. |
| 00:48:32 |
Do I have any on me? |
| 00:48:34 |
No, no. |
| 00:48:35 |
You want to get that? |
| 00:48:38 |
You're silly. |
| 00:48:41 |
I have something for you. |
| 00:48:43 |
Really? |
| 00:48:45 |
A gift? |
| 00:48:46 |
Oh, bad form. |
| 00:48:48 |
A gift on the third date? |
| 00:48:49 |
Open it. |
| 00:48:51 |
Okay. |
| 00:48:56 |
You're an asshole. |
| 00:48:58 |
Yes, but a thoughtful asshole. |
| 00:49:01 |
Thank you. |
| 00:49:05 |
So, fess up about this charm. |
| 00:49:08 |
You heard about that. |
| 00:49:09 |
Yeah. It's quite a scam |
| 00:49:12 |
- No, it's not me. |
| 00:49:14 |
It's not. |
| 00:49:15 |
Somebody somewhere |
| 00:49:17 |
that once a girl's |
| 00:49:18 |
she'll meet her true love |
| 00:49:19 |
with the next guy |
| 00:49:21 |
Can you believe it? |
| 00:49:23 |
Please. |
| 00:49:24 |
People will believe |
| 00:49:41 |
Okay. I've got one for you. |
| 00:49:42 |
Did you know |
| 00:49:44 |
for a human being |
| 00:49:46 |
How do you know that? |
| 00:49:47 |
No one can do it. |
| 00:49:48 |
All right. |
| 00:49:54 |
Can't do it, my friend. |
| 00:49:56 |
All right, fine. |
| 00:49:58 |
I've got one. |
| 00:49:59 |
Did you know |
| 00:50:01 |
produces 10,000 gallons of saliva |
| 00:50:03 |
Did you know that I produce |
| 00:50:07 |
That's disgusting. |
| 00:50:08 |
I'm going to show you. |
| 00:50:10 |
I'm serious. |
| 00:50:11 |
I don't like sloppy kisses. |
| 00:50:45 |
Are you trying to unhook my bra? |
| 00:50:47 |
No. No. |
| 00:50:50 |
Why not? |
| 00:50:53 |
You are definitely my type. |
| 00:50:55 |
What's your type? |
| 00:50:56 |
Black and blue, |
| 00:51:00 |
And braless. |
| 00:51:19 |
Your move. |
| 00:51:26 |
That's it? |
| 00:51:28 |
Socks are next. |
| 00:51:29 |
Wuss. |
| 00:51:36 |
You really want to do this? |
| 00:51:37 |
I mean, you really want |
| 00:51:53 |
This is not happening. |
| 00:51:58 |
I got to get it. |
| 00:52:00 |
It's- It's my emergency line. |
| 00:52:02 |
No. No. |
| 00:52:03 |
I got to get it. |
| 00:52:05 |
I'll be fast. |
| 00:52:10 |
Dr. Logan speaking. |
| 00:52:11 |
Dude! |
| 00:52:15 |
Is this an emergency? |
| 00:52:17 |
You're going to want |
| 00:52:18 |
Well, I am rather busy |
| 00:52:22 |
Good night! |
| 00:52:23 |
Whoa, whoa, wait. |
| 00:52:25 |
Look, unless |
| 00:52:28 |
call my office |
| 00:52:30 |
Fine. You want |
| 00:52:32 |
you hang up the phone |
| 00:52:34 |
This is going to be |
| 00:52:37 |
Are you still there? |
| 00:52:39 |
Chuck. Are you there? |
| 00:52:42 |
What are you |
| 00:52:44 |
Dude, it's that charm thing. |
| 00:52:46 |
It turns out it's real! |
| 00:52:49 |
No. That's not true |
| 00:52:52 |
Uh-uh, but now I believe. |
| 00:52:54 |
I started |
| 00:52:56 |
They're married. |
| 00:52:57 |
Not just some. All. |
| 00:52:59 |
A to Z on your Palm Pilot, man. |
| 00:53:01 |
Susan Agrezzi |
| 00:53:03 |
Every single one |
| 00:53:05 |
And did you see this month's |
| 00:53:08 |
Sarah McDowell. |
| 00:53:10 |
What, the girl |
| 00:53:11 |
Did you see who she |
| 00:53:13 |
Tony Lamberto, that douche bag |
| 00:53:17 |
You know what this means, |
| 00:53:20 |
You shake the sheets with Cam, |
| 00:53:22 |
she's going to marry |
| 00:53:25 |
This- This- |
| 00:53:28 |
I hate you. |
| 00:53:29 |
I really hate you! |
| 00:53:36 |
I got to go. |
| 00:53:38 |
A dental emergency. |
| 00:53:40 |
Freak accident. |
| 00:53:42 |
Children, they thought |
| 00:53:44 |
Ball bearings, |
| 00:53:46 |
and it just fucked up |
| 00:53:50 |
You look great. |
| 00:53:52 |
I got to go. |
| 00:53:55 |
I got to go! |
| 00:53:59 |
I can't believe you're |
| 00:54:01 |
If you believe it |
| 00:54:03 |
what else can I do? |
| 00:54:04 |
Anything but this. |
| 00:54:06 |
I got to be sure. |
| 00:54:07 |
I've got to put the curse to the test. |
| 00:54:09 |
Where is she? |
| 00:54:11 |
She's beached over there |
| 00:54:12 |
by the giant garbage bag |
| 00:54:16 |
Eleanor Skepple. |
| 00:54:18 |
She's angry, rude, |
| 00:54:22 |
In addition to back acne, |
| 00:54:24 |
she's got front acne |
| 00:54:28 |
You see that glass of water there? |
| 00:54:30 |
She keeps her teeth |
| 00:54:32 |
So you're saying |
| 00:54:36 |
She's your best bet, man. |
| 00:54:38 |
You sink the soldier all you want. |
| 00:54:39 |
This chick ain't never |
| 00:54:41 |
If she was the last woman |
| 00:54:43 |
humanity would come |
| 00:55:04 |
Hey, asshole, |
| 00:55:07 |
No. My name's Charlie. |
| 00:55:15 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:55:17 |
if, um- if I could |
| 00:55:20 |
How does that- |
| 00:55:26 |
You want me to elaborate? |
| 00:55:28 |
No. I get your drift. |
| 00:55:30 |
I'm sorry to have bothered you. |
| 00:55:39 |
Pay you a hundred dollars |
| 00:55:44 |
$200. |
| 00:55:48 |
Make me happy. |
| 00:55:57 |
So a thousand dollars, |
| 00:55:59 |
and all you have to do |
| 00:56:03 |
Well, actually, I thought |
| 00:56:05 |
you know, we- |
| 00:56:14 |
get physical. |
| 00:56:17 |
All right. |
| 00:56:19 |
I'm gonna fuck you |
| 00:56:42 |
And now we wait. |
| 00:56:47 |
Oh, Coco, |
| 00:56:52 |
We just put ourselves |
| 00:56:54 |
and what happened? |
| 00:56:55 |
I'm left hanging. |
| 00:56:57 |
Huh, girl? |
| 00:57:02 |
Has he called yet? |
| 00:57:04 |
No, Joe, he hasn't. |
| 00:57:06 |
Thanks for asking. |
| 00:57:10 |
God, I feel so stupid. |
| 00:57:13 |
Why did I act like that? |
| 00:57:16 |
Why hasn't he called? |
| 00:57:18 |
All this waiting |
| 00:57:21 |
You know, there's always |
| 00:57:25 |
But there's also always |
| 00:57:32 |
Nietzsche. |
| 00:57:34 |
Been using the pages |
| 00:57:36 |
for rolling paper. |
| 00:57:37 |
It's like I'm smoking |
| 00:57:47 |
It's him. |
| 00:57:48 |
Well, get it. |
| 00:57:50 |
I'm gonna let it ring. |
| 00:57:55 |
I'll screen it. |
| 00:57:57 |
Sorry I haven't called, |
| 00:58:00 |
I can't even get out of bed. |
| 00:58:02 |
Do you think maybe we could |
| 00:58:05 |
or on the computer? |
| 00:58:08 |
I'd really, really like that. |
| 00:58:10 |
Call me. |
| 00:59:34 |
I can't pretend |
| 00:59:35 |
Come on, man. |
| 00:59:36 |
- I don't know. |
| 00:59:39 |
You got this, my brother. |
| 00:59:41 |
You're the man |
| 00:59:42 |
You're a force of nature. |
| 00:59:44 |
I can't do it. |
| 00:59:45 |
You have to do it. |
| 00:59:47 |
No one's asked her out yet. |
| 00:59:48 |
Yeah, right. So I go out |
| 00:59:51 |
to test your curse, |
| 00:59:52 |
and what happens next? |
| 00:59:53 |
I'm walking down the aisle |
| 00:59:55 |
I don't think so. |
| 00:59:56 |
Do you see what I'm doing here? |
| 00:59:59 |
The friend card, man? |
| 01:00:00 |
Yeah. |
| 01:00:02 |
That's mean. |
| 01:00:03 |
You leave me no choice. |
| 01:00:06 |
Give me that, |
| 01:00:09 |
If I marry her, Chuck, |
| 01:00:11 |
we're going to hunt you down |
| 01:00:28 |
Yeah, Stu. |
| 01:00:33 |
I can't believe |
| 01:00:35 |
How long has it been? |
| 01:00:37 |
Two weeks. It's, uh... |
| 01:00:39 |
it's killing me, |
| 01:00:40 |
I don't |
| 01:00:41 |
At this point, |
| 01:00:46 |
You know, I feel |
| 01:00:48 |
I haven't talked |
| 01:00:49 |
since I was in high school. |
| 01:00:51 |
That reminds me. |
| 01:00:52 |
Would you go to the prom with me? |
| 01:00:56 |
I love your voice. |
| 01:00:58 |
The crazy things is, |
| 01:01:01 |
Okay, here's the update: |
| 01:01:03 |
I am now 4' 3", |
| 01:01:04 |
I weigh 235 pounds, |
| 01:01:10 |
Can I ask you something? |
| 01:01:12 |
Yeah. |
| 01:01:13 |
Are you not into girls? |
| 01:01:20 |
No. |
| 01:01:23 |
Are you... seriously, are you there? |
| 01:01:26 |
Yeah. |
| 01:01:27 |
I'm not... not into girls. |
| 01:01:29 |
You should have seen |
| 01:01:31 |
It was full of posters of... of girls! |
| 01:01:33 |
There was no guys. |
| 01:01:35 |
Well, are you avoiding |
| 01:01:38 |
No, Cam. I'm dying to see you. |
| 01:01:41 |
Then come over. |
| 01:01:45 |
Come on. |
| 01:01:46 |
I'll wear a mask. |
| 01:01:48 |
We'll play doctor. |
| 01:01:49 |
Ooh, boy. I want to, |
| 01:01:52 |
but with the- |
| 01:01:53 |
No buts. |
| 01:01:55 |
I need to see if that |
| 01:01:57 |
really looks like Alfred Hitchcock. |
| 01:01:58 |
Now, wait. No. That- |
| 01:02:00 |
That is a restricted area, okay? |
| 01:02:02 |
Not everybody gets a peek |
| 01:02:04 |
at the Master of Suspense, |
| 01:02:05 |
if you know |
| 01:02:07 |
If I can't see you, |
| 01:02:08 |
we should take |
| 01:02:09 |
to the next level. |
| 01:02:11 |
What do you mean? |
| 01:02:15 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:02:17 |
That feels good. |
| 01:02:18 |
I like that. |
| 01:02:21 |
Like what? |
| 01:02:23 |
That's my phone sex voice. |
| 01:02:24 |
Come on, Charlie, |
| 01:02:28 |
I want to. I just don't |
| 01:02:31 |
I mean, nothing to do with- |
| 01:02:32 |
Does your phone |
| 01:02:34 |
Yeah, why? |
| 01:02:35 |
Sending. |
| 01:02:36 |
Sending? |
| 01:02:37 |
What are you sending to me? |
| 01:02:40 |
Fuck! |
| 01:02:43 |
- I got it. |
| 01:02:45 |
I'm done for the night. |
| 01:02:47 |
Oh, God. |
| 01:02:49 |
Stu, what's up? |
| 01:02:51 |
The deed is done. |
| 01:02:53 |
I went out |
| 01:02:56 |
I'm not proposing to her, |
| 01:02:58 |
so you're in the clear. |
| 01:03:01 |
Are you there? |
| 01:03:02 |
Chuck? |
| 01:03:09 |
I feel better. |
| 01:03:59 |
Camcorder in the bedroom, huh? |
| 01:04:01 |
Kinky. |
| 01:04:08 |
So, for the, uh, camera, |
| 01:04:11 |
do I have to sign a waiver |
| 01:04:13 |
for internet purposes? |
| 01:04:15 |
You really want |
| 01:04:18 |
Whoa, those are nice. |
| 01:04:20 |
Oh, God bless you. |
| 01:04:24 |
You pushed me. |
| 01:04:25 |
Sorry. |
| 01:04:27 |
I can see I'm going |
| 01:04:52 |
Stop staring at me. |
| 01:04:54 |
You're creeping me out. |
| 01:05:26 |
...no matter what your size. |
| 01:05:28 |
You will not go to waste. |
| 01:05:30 |
Sometimes it takes |
| 01:05:31 |
to make someone want |
| 01:05:34 |
Two main reasons- |
| 01:05:46 |
What the hell? |
| 01:05:51 |
Hello. |
| 01:05:52 |
"The deed is done"? |
| 01:05:54 |
I thought you said |
| 01:05:56 |
you went out |
| 01:05:57 |
No, man. I just said that. |
| 01:05:59 |
What? |
| 01:06:00 |
I didn't want to risk it. |
| 01:06:02 |
Marrying her? |
| 01:06:03 |
But I saw you, man. |
| 01:06:04 |
You asked her out. |
| 01:06:06 |
No, man. I asked her |
| 01:06:08 |
She said it was 3:53. |
| 01:06:13 |
I can't believe |
| 01:06:15 |
You fucked me! |
| 01:06:16 |
Take out your friend card. |
| 01:06:17 |
What? |
| 01:06:19 |
Take out your friend card now |
| 01:06:21 |
because you fucked me, Stu. |
| 01:06:23 |
Oh, buddy, she's just a girl. |
| 01:06:26 |
No. It's not a girl. |
| 01:06:32 |
It's the girl. |
| 01:06:33 |
Now I'm going to lose her. |
| 01:06:39 |
I'm not going to lose her. |
| 01:06:49 |
Breakfast in bed. |
| 01:06:52 |
Wake up! Good morning! |
| 01:06:56 |
Wow. |
| 01:06:58 |
Am I supposed to eat |
| 01:07:00 |
I walked into the supermarket. |
| 01:07:02 |
I stood there. I was like, |
| 01:07:04 |
And I couldn't stop. |
| 01:07:06 |
I was like, "She'll want that |
| 01:07:09 |
They didn't have Spam, though. |
| 01:07:11 |
They won't have it in until next week. |
| 01:07:13 |
Are you okay? |
| 01:07:15 |
I am fantastic. |
| 01:07:16 |
I did this- |
| 01:07:18 |
And then I gave myself |
| 01:07:20 |
And I made out with myself. |
| 01:07:23 |
You're acting kind of strange. |
| 01:07:24 |
No. No, no. |
| 01:07:27 |
Yeah, eat up. Eat up. |
| 01:07:29 |
Eat up. |
| 01:07:31 |
Hey, um, what are your plans |
| 01:07:33 |
for the rest of today? |
| 01:07:35 |
I'm going to work. |
| 01:07:37 |
I'm going to go |
| 01:07:39 |
I'm going to hang out. |
| 01:07:40 |
I got it all planned out. |
| 01:07:44 |
I'm kidding. |
| 01:07:47 |
Actually, Saturday. |
| 01:07:48 |
What are you plans for Saturday- Sunday? |
| 01:07:49 |
What are your plans |
| 01:07:50 |
Don't even answer that |
| 01:07:52 |
because I'm already |
| 01:07:53 |
What are you doing Wednesday? |
| 01:07:54 |
Let's just seal it right now- |
| 01:07:56 |
and then I'll do my pineapple dance. |
| 01:07:58 |
Yes, Wednesday? |
| 01:08:02 |
This is your fault! |
| 01:08:05 |
You! |
| 01:08:10 |
Jesus Christ, why me? |
| 01:08:12 |
Just shut your lips, Stu. |
| 01:08:17 |
Hi, Cam. What's up? |
| 01:08:20 |
How are you doing today? |
| 01:08:21 |
I just wanted to call |
| 01:08:22 |
and make sure I had |
| 01:08:24 |
and I do, and I do. |
| 01:08:27 |
How are you doing? |
| 01:08:28 |
Having a good day at work? |
| 01:08:29 |
Well, I'll let you get back, |
| 01:08:32 |
Wednesday night, |
| 01:08:35 |
All right. |
| 01:08:37 |
This is your fault! |
| 01:08:39 |
His! |
| 01:08:44 |
You already ate. |
| 01:08:56 |
Is there something different |
| 01:09:25 |
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, banana |
| 01:09:27 |
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, banana |
| 01:09:30 |
Got me lookin' |
| 01:09:33 |
Your love's got me |
| 01:09:36 |
Got me lookin' |
| 01:09:38 |
Your touch has got me |
| 01:09:41 |
Got me hopin' |
| 01:09:44 |
Your kiss got me hopin' |
| 01:09:47 |
Lookin' so crazy, |
| 01:09:50 |
Got me lookin' so crazy, |
| 01:09:54 |
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, got it. |
| 01:09:56 |
Got me going, |
| 01:10:00 |
Raise the habitat. |
| 01:10:02 |
Crazy, crazy, crazy |
| 01:10:05 |
Crazy for you |
| 01:10:09 |
Changed my mind. |
| 01:10:10 |
Took the day off |
| 01:10:12 |
I won't be in the way. |
| 01:10:13 |
I know what you're thinking. |
| 01:10:16 |
But I think I'm going to blend in like this. |
| 01:10:18 |
I know how to do that. |
| 01:10:20 |
Charlie, I'm working. |
| 01:10:29 |
Or I could go. |
| 01:10:31 |
Yeah, I- |
| 01:10:35 |
Get out of here. |
| 01:10:38 |
No, no. |
| 01:10:40 |
Thanks. |
| 01:10:49 |
Have a great day at work. |
| 01:10:52 |
My car's this way. |
| 01:11:07 |
Hi, Cam. |
| 01:11:16 |
Work is done. |
| 01:11:22 |
Hey. |
| 01:11:25 |
Listen, I know |
| 01:11:27 |
and the best part of all: |
| 01:11:28 |
when you're finished |
| 01:11:29 |
they put them in a doggie bag- |
| 01:11:32 |
- Charlie- |
| 01:11:33 |
Uh, Thai? Indian. |
| 01:11:35 |
Listen to me, you need |
| 01:11:38 |
I need some space. |
| 01:11:42 |
So tonight is no good. |
| 01:11:43 |
I'm very close |
| 01:11:48 |
Do you understand? |
| 01:12:06 |
If you were a hamburger |
| 01:12:08 |
I'd name you my |
| 01:12:11 |
With Titties On Top. |
| 01:12:26 |
- Can I see Stu? |
| 01:12:28 |
Yeah. |
| 01:12:29 |
Stu, I need you. |
| 01:12:32 |
I'm Dr. Charlie Logan. |
| 01:12:34 |
I don't know who this Stu |
| 01:12:47 |
Call me. |
| 01:12:48 |
I need your help. |
| 01:12:49 |
Hey, are we still friends? |
| 01:12:51 |
Cam is going to fall in love with |
| 01:12:54 |
to the next guy she goes |
| 01:12:56 |
I'm going to be that next guy. |
| 01:12:58 |
Yeah. |
| 01:13:00 |
You're going to... |
| 01:13:03 |
I don't care if you |
| 01:13:05 |
I'm going to look |
| 01:13:07 |
That way, |
| 01:13:08 |
Hi. My name's Ronald- |
| 01:13:09 |
I'm the new guy |
| 01:13:12 |
Let's go. Right now. |
| 01:13:13 |
Don't look at me |
| 01:13:15 |
I'm talking the truth. |
| 01:13:18 |
Chuck... |
| 01:13:20 |
take a look around, man. |
| 01:13:22 |
I mean, I can give you tits. |
| 01:13:25 |
So you're |
| 01:13:28 |
Yes, but not by |
| 01:13:31 |
Come here. Have a seat. |
| 01:13:34 |
There's got to be |
| 01:13:36 |
I mean, I know |
| 01:13:39 |
but things could be |
| 01:13:42 |
Listen, you could be |
| 01:13:44 |
He found out last week |
| 01:13:46 |
he's got an inoperable |
| 01:13:50 |
That's horrible. |
| 01:13:51 |
Yeah. |
| 01:13:52 |
He's only got, like, |
| 01:13:56 |
That is... |
| 01:13:59 |
perfect. |
| 01:14:00 |
That's perfect. |
| 01:14:03 |
What? |
| 01:14:04 |
Yeah. |
| 01:14:05 |
He gets laid. |
| 01:14:07 |
He's dead within a week. |
| 01:14:08 |
I swoop in, console her. |
| 01:14:09 |
Bing-bang-boom, |
| 01:14:10 |
Hey! |
| 01:14:12 |
Why don't you club her |
| 01:14:14 |
while she's knocked unconscious? |
| 01:14:15 |
That'd work! |
| 01:14:18 |
What the hell |
| 01:14:20 |
You have to let her go. |
| 01:14:24 |
That's the one thing |
| 01:14:59 |
- Next time I'll bring my suit. |
| 01:15:01 |
Oh, no. |
| 01:15:02 |
Oh, no. That's not good. |
| 01:15:10 |
No. |
| 01:15:11 |
It's over. |
| 01:15:13 |
That has to be George. |
| 01:15:14 |
George. |
| 01:15:19 |
Hey, George! |
| 01:15:21 |
- What's up, George? |
| 01:15:22 |
- How you doing, George? |
| 01:15:24 |
You're going to stay |
| 01:15:25 |
You're going to stay away |
| 01:15:29 |
- You're George! |
| 01:15:31 |
- I'm not George! |
| 01:15:33 |
What are you doing? |
| 01:15:34 |
I just met George. |
| 01:15:36 |
You shouldn't like him. |
| 01:15:38 |
Stay away from me! |
| 01:15:40 |
No! |
| 01:15:42 |
Falling. |
| 01:15:46 |
What is wrong with you? |
| 01:15:52 |
I'm being bitten! |
| 01:15:53 |
Does he have fish |
| 01:16:00 |
Oh, those fuckers |
| 01:16:03 |
Yeah? Well, they don't like it |
| 01:16:05 |
when someone disturbs |
| 01:16:07 |
Time to go, buddy. |
| 01:16:08 |
I know I've been acting crazy, |
| 01:16:10 |
Let me guess, Charlie. |
| 01:16:12 |
You believe |
| 01:16:13 |
and you're afraid I'm going |
| 01:16:16 |
so you've been smothering me |
| 01:16:19 |
What about George, okay? |
| 01:16:20 |
What about your date with George? |
| 01:16:21 |
Wednesday night? |
| 01:16:23 |
George is my hairdresser! |
| 01:16:27 |
Excuse me. I'm sorry. |
| 01:16:30 |
Are you really |
| 01:16:32 |
Because... I was wondering- |
| 01:16:34 |
I can't. I'm sorry. |
| 01:16:36 |
- No. Charlie, I just don't think we can |
| 01:16:38 |
- Don't say it! |
| 01:16:39 |
- It's not working. |
| 01:16:41 |
Please, just don't say it's over. |
| 01:16:45 |
It's over. |
| 01:17:15 |
Dr. Charlie? |
| 01:17:16 |
Hi, Reba. |
| 01:17:18 |
I've been |
| 01:17:20 |
Where have you been? |
| 01:17:21 |
Decided to take |
| 01:17:23 |
Hey, does our building |
| 01:17:26 |
Oh, things can't be that bad. |
| 01:17:30 |
You know, I owe you a thank-you. |
| 01:17:33 |
I met a guy, and he's wonderful. |
| 01:17:36 |
I really think he's the one. |
| 01:17:38 |
That's great. |
| 01:17:43 |
You've done a good thing, |
| 01:17:46 |
Helping people find love. |
| 01:17:50 |
It's great. |
| 01:17:54 |
I bet you didn't think |
| 01:17:57 |
for helping me |
| 01:17:58 |
but you did. |
| 01:18:00 |
You did, Dr. Charlie. |
| 01:18:12 |
Dr. Charlie, are you all right? |
| 01:18:14 |
Love fall like rain. |
| 01:18:17 |
She was right, Reba. |
| 01:18:19 |
It's raining. |
| 01:18:20 |
Oh, my God! |
| 01:18:26 |
Stu, I need |
| 01:18:28 |
Unacceptable! |
| 01:18:29 |
Hey! |
| 01:18:30 |
I wish I hadn't seen that! |
| 01:18:31 |
A man can't masturbate |
| 01:18:33 |
That is disgusting. |
| 01:18:35 |
It's a known fact |
| 01:18:36 |
that stimulation |
| 01:18:38 |
No, no, no, no. |
| 01:18:40 |
and wash your hands! |
| 01:18:45 |
All I know is that I'm hexed. |
| 01:18:47 |
Yeah. If by hexed |
| 01:18:49 |
then yeah, |
| 01:18:51 |
Don't you remember? |
| 01:18:52 |
Black lipstick, |
| 01:18:53 |
She wanted me |
| 01:18:55 |
I wouldn't, |
| 01:18:57 |
and put a hex on me. |
| 01:18:58 |
Stu, I've lost the most |
| 01:19:01 |
I have to break this spell. |
| 01:19:03 |
You haven't lost me, dude. |
| 01:19:05 |
I'm here for you always. |
| 01:19:07 |
Just drive the fucking car. |
| 01:19:12 |
Oh, I'm so sorry, buddy. |
| 01:19:19 |
Hey, what's up with Chester? |
| 01:19:21 |
His girlfriend Molly's sick. |
| 01:19:23 |
I sent her away for treatment. |
| 01:19:25 |
He stopped grooming himself. |
| 01:19:30 |
It's heartbreaking, you know? |
| 01:19:31 |
If she doesn't come back, |
| 01:19:33 |
he may never find another mate. |
| 01:19:41 |
Murphy, maybe |
| 01:19:45 |
You should call him. |
| 01:19:47 |
I can't, Joe. |
| 01:19:48 |
You saw him. |
| 01:19:50 |
Love does that |
| 01:19:53 |
I don't want another one |
| 01:19:56 |
He was smothering me. |
| 01:19:58 |
I want to be part of someone's life, |
| 01:20:00 |
not all of it. |
| 01:20:01 |
Have you taken a look |
| 01:20:06 |
If you love something, |
| 01:20:07 |
sometimes you just want |
| 01:20:18 |
That's it. That's it. |
| 01:20:24 |
How can I get her |
| 01:20:27 |
I don't know. She wanted to look |
| 01:20:29 |
That was a joke. |
| 01:20:31 |
Chuck? |
| 01:20:34 |
Chuck, that was a joke. |
| 01:20:36 |
Oh, my God. |
| 01:20:43 |
Hi. Is your mother home? |
| 01:20:47 |
Is your mother's name Anisha? |
| 01:20:50 |
What's with the 50 questions? |
| 01:20:52 |
That was two questions. |
| 01:20:54 |
It's a hyperbole. |
| 01:20:55 |
Sweetheart, who is it? |
| 01:20:59 |
Are you Anisha Carpenter? |
| 01:21:03 |
Do I know you? |
| 01:21:06 |
Charlie Logan. |
| 01:21:09 |
Look, I know this is |
| 01:21:12 |
but you put a hex on me |
| 01:21:15 |
so that all my girlfriends |
| 01:21:16 |
would fall in love |
| 01:21:18 |
and I need you... |
| 01:21:20 |
to reverse the spell? |
| 01:21:25 |
Woo! That- |
| 01:21:27 |
You used to wear that! |
| 01:21:28 |
You wore it at the party |
| 01:21:31 |
and did the- with the thing. |
| 01:21:33 |
And then you wanted |
| 01:21:34 |
and I said no. |
| 01:21:35 |
Go to your room, Lila. |
| 01:21:37 |
But this is just getting good. |
| 01:21:39 |
Now. |
| 01:21:41 |
I'm sorry. |
| 01:21:44 |
What can I do to convince you |
| 01:22:06 |
This spell- |
| 01:22:10 |
Charlie, I was just a kid. |
| 01:22:11 |
I didn't know |
| 01:22:13 |
I don't even know |
| 01:22:14 |
You fucked up my life! |
| 01:22:16 |
That's what you did. |
| 01:22:17 |
I asked you |
| 01:22:19 |
Your room. Now. |
| 01:22:24 |
Anisha, I am begging you. |
| 01:22:29 |
Have you ever wanted |
| 01:22:32 |
that you would do anything |
| 01:22:36 |
If someone's |
| 01:22:38 |
eventually they will be. |
| 01:22:45 |
No. |
| 01:22:47 |
If you think |
| 01:22:49 |
we're supposed |
| 01:22:50 |
I wasn't talking about you. |
| 01:22:55 |
My husband Kurt. |
| 01:22:56 |
Really, Charlie, I was 10. |
| 01:22:59 |
I may have thought |
| 01:23:01 |
but I was also hot |
| 01:23:05 |
So- |
| 01:23:12 |
I've blown it. |
| 01:23:16 |
Well, then, |
| 01:23:30 |
Yeah, dude! |
| 01:23:31 |
You're my hero! |
| 01:23:35 |
How was she? |
| 01:23:38 |
Take me home. |
| 01:23:39 |
I'm not that easy, man. |
| 01:23:42 |
You're going to have to |
| 01:23:45 |
You little munchkin. |
| 01:23:47 |
I have to set her free, |
| 01:23:49 |
let Mother Nature |
| 01:23:51 |
If you love something, |
| 01:23:55 |
I think Cam is really |
| 01:23:57 |
to the new gay you, |
| 01:23:59 |
Take me home. |
| 01:24:01 |
I got a phone call to make. |
| 01:24:15 |
Hi. I'm trying to find |
| 01:24:18 |
Hi, Howard. |
| 01:24:19 |
Um, we've never met, |
| 01:24:21 |
but I have a friend |
| 01:24:31 |
Howard? |
| 01:25:50 |
Eat me. |
| 01:25:52 |
Eat me. |
| 01:25:53 |
Gotcha. |
| 01:25:57 |
Owned. |
| 01:25:59 |
Owned. |
| 01:26:01 |
I'm getting married! |
| 01:26:04 |
Chuck! I found my dream girl, |
| 01:26:07 |
and it's all because |
| 01:26:10 |
Lara, get your sweet ass |
| 01:26:12 |
You remember Lara? |
| 01:26:15 |
Lara stepped out of heaven- |
| 01:26:18 |
and into my office |
| 01:26:22 |
She's got polymastia. |
| 01:26:24 |
Has more than two boobs. |
| 01:26:26 |
Isn't that perfect for me? |
| 01:26:28 |
No, no. |
| 01:26:29 |
No, no, that's okay. |
| 01:26:31 |
Really. I don't mind. |
| 01:26:32 |
Yeah, I used to be |
| 01:26:34 |
but that was before |
| 01:26:36 |
made me realize |
| 01:26:39 |
Oh, baby, |
| 01:26:40 |
Oh, I love you, monkey pie. |
| 01:26:42 |
- Okay, show him. |
| 01:26:46 |
Is that or is that not |
| 01:26:48 |
the most beautiful sight |
| 01:26:50 |
It's like seeing |
| 01:26:54 |
It's like seeing Earth |
| 01:26:56 |
Like Three's Company, |
| 01:26:58 |
but all Chrissies, |
| 01:27:00 |
I'm happy for you, buddy. |
| 01:27:02 |
But, dude, that's not |
| 01:27:05 |
Did you know that it smells |
| 01:27:09 |
You may want to open a window. |
| 01:27:11 |
It's making me a little- |
| 01:27:12 |
Okay, you tell him, baby. |
| 01:27:14 |
Okay, so I'm friends with Katie, |
| 01:27:16 |
and she said that Cam |
| 01:27:19 |
for Antarctica |
| 01:27:25 |
That's nice. |
| 01:27:31 |
You sure as shit |
| 01:27:34 |
I loved something, |
| 01:27:37 |
She met somebody else. |
| 01:27:39 |
But I set her free. |
| 01:27:48 |
She's leaving, buddy... |
| 01:27:52 |
for Antarctica... |
| 01:27:54 |
right now. |
| 01:27:56 |
She is going. |
| 01:28:00 |
She's going. |
| 01:28:04 |
She's... leaving. |
| 01:28:09 |
What the fuck am I doing? |
| 01:28:11 |
That's what we're saying! |
| 01:28:12 |
Go! |
| 01:28:15 |
He's a little slow. |
| 01:28:48 |
Excuse me. |
| 01:28:50 |
Ma'am, excuse me. |
| 01:28:54 |
Has the flight for |
| 01:28:57 |
There are no direct flights, sir. |
| 01:28:59 |
Connecting flight? |
| 01:29:01 |
Which one? |
| 01:29:03 |
Has the flight |
| 01:29:04 |
with a passenger |
| 01:29:07 |
Sorry, sir. |
| 01:29:10 |
Sir, you won't be able to go |
| 01:29:12 |
I have to get |
| 01:29:15 |
so I will take a ticket |
| 01:29:18 |
There are only first class |
| 01:29:22 |
Of course there are. |
| 01:29:27 |
Are you traveling |
| 01:29:29 |
No. |
| 01:29:30 |
No. |
| 01:29:32 |
You do realize |
| 01:29:34 |
Yes. |
| 01:29:38 |
And that'll be $17,412. |
| 01:29:47 |
Just do it. |
| 01:29:52 |
Here you go. |
| 01:30:02 |
Shoes, belt, watch. |
| 01:30:05 |
You've never been |
| 01:30:14 |
What goes in pockets? |
| 01:30:15 |
Change. |
| 01:30:17 |
Change. |
| 01:30:19 |
Put it in the little bucket. |
| 01:30:20 |
Don't waste |
| 01:30:21 |
No. |
| 01:30:23 |
I don't need it. |
| 01:30:24 |
Want to make this quick? |
| 01:30:26 |
I am in a real hurry. |
| 01:30:27 |
Let's do this. |
| 01:30:29 |
What? |
| 01:30:30 |
You heard me. |
| 01:30:34 |
I'm kidding you, weirdo. |
| 01:30:36 |
Why would you do that? |
| 01:30:38 |
Come on, let's go. |
| 01:30:41 |
Go, go, go. |
| 01:31:05 |
Cam. |
| 01:31:07 |
Wait! |
| 01:31:17 |
I meant to do that. |
| 01:31:29 |
Here. |
| 01:31:30 |
Thanks. |
| 01:31:33 |
Charlie? |
| 01:31:34 |
I'm sorry. |
| 01:31:36 |
Antarctica? You couldn't have |
| 01:31:39 |
Charlie- |
| 01:31:41 |
Look, I know that it's |
| 01:31:43 |
but it felt even crazier |
| 01:31:46 |
Excuse me. |
| 01:31:48 |
Charlie- |
| 01:31:49 |
My entire life, |
| 01:31:50 |
I've been nothing more |
| 01:31:52 |
to every relationship |
| 01:31:54 |
There's always been a next guy |
| 01:31:57 |
For once in my life, |
| 01:32:04 |
I've never said this |
| 01:32:08 |
Cam... |
| 01:32:13 |
I love you. |
| 01:32:15 |
I love you, Cam. |
| 01:32:19 |
Please don't go. |
| 01:32:23 |
Charlie, I'm coming back |
| 01:32:27 |
What? |
| 01:32:28 |
Yeah. |
| 01:32:29 |
But Howard and- |
| 01:32:31 |
Have you met |
| 01:32:34 |
Howard's wife? |
| 01:32:36 |
Howard's wife. |
| 01:32:38 |
Hi. |
| 01:32:39 |
Hi, Howard's wife. |
| 01:32:41 |
Howard's wife. |
| 01:32:42 |
I know about your call |
| 01:32:44 |
I knew you wanted to meet him. |
| 01:32:46 |
I knew it would make you happy. |
| 01:32:48 |
I swear that's all |
| 01:32:50 |
Plus, mate selection |
| 01:32:55 |
But, Charlie, |
| 01:32:57 |
I know, I know. |
| 01:32:59 |
And no more lucky charm excuse. |
| 01:33:01 |
I'm done thinking |
| 01:33:05 |
All I care about now is what is. |
| 01:33:08 |
And this- |
| 01:33:10 |
This is. |
| 01:33:15 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:33:17 |
we are about to close |
| 01:33:19 |
Please take your seats. |
| 01:33:23 |
That's for you. |
| 01:33:24 |
Here. |
| 01:33:46 |
Charlie! |
| 01:33:57 |
Excuse me, are you that guy who- |
| 01:33:59 |
He isn't anymore. |
| 01:35:00 |
Excuse me. |
| 01:35:16 |
Giggle monkey, |
| 01:35:19 |
Sex tapes. |
| 01:35:21 |
What is the point in house sitting |
| 01:35:24 |
some good old-fashioned |
| 01:35:28 |
- Score! |
| 01:35:32 |
Okay. |
| 01:35:33 |
Hold on. |
| 01:35:42 |
Do it. Do it. Oh, yeah. |
| 01:35:44 |
Babe. |
| 01:35:45 |
Yeah, what? |
| 01:35:47 |
Oh, you like that. |
| 01:35:48 |
You like when I do |
| 01:35:50 |
All right. I'll do it |
| 01:35:52 |
This is it. |
| 01:35:53 |
Okay. |
| 01:35:55 |
Because I'm not |
| 01:35:56 |
and you know that. |
| 01:35:57 |
No, I know. It's fake. |
| 01:35:59 |
All right. |
| 01:36:00 |
But it's hot. |
| 01:36:01 |
Okay. |
| 01:36:02 |
Hey. So, uh... |
| 01:36:04 |
so do you want to- |
| 01:36:05 |
You come to this |
| 01:36:08 |
I'm really interested in you |
| 01:36:13 |
You like that? |
| 01:36:14 |
Yeah, I like that. |
| 01:36:17 |
You like... when I do that? |
| 01:36:20 |
You ever seen me |
| 01:36:22 |
Shh. It's okay. No, no. |
| 01:36:23 |
Baby, baby, don't worry. |
| 01:36:27 |
Yeah, I like that. |
| 01:36:34 |
You like that, don't you? |
| 01:36:35 |
Yeah. |
| 01:36:36 |
Oh, that's so hot. |
| 01:36:37 |
Shh. No more "Uhh. " |
| 01:36:42 |
Do it. Yeah. |
| 01:36:44 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:36:46 |
That's really good. |
| 01:36:50 |
Okay, now do the other thing. |
| 01:36:51 |
Do the other thing. |
| 01:36:55 |
Look at me. Here's |
| 01:36:57 |
Yeah, you know what I like. |
| 01:36:59 |
Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm really |
| 01:37:03 |
You like when I eat |
| 01:37:05 |
Yeah. Baby, |
| 01:37:09 |
Turn it off, baby. |
| 01:37:14 |
You still in the mood? |
| 01:37:15 |
Yeah. |
| 01:37:16 |
All right. |
| 01:41:08 |
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