Good Morning Vietnam

en
00:00:21 ...to recover contents such as shoes,
00:00:25 And now an item of special note.
00:00:28 Barring any change in the weather,
00:00:31 between the 1 33rd
00:00:33 will resume as scheduled
00:00:36 corner of Viet Ho and Hguen
00:00:39 Please make a note of it.
00:00:43 Those men who lost equipment
00:00:45 are asked to contact
00:00:47 Lieutenant Schneer-- Lieutenant Scheer
00:00:51 to make every effort to dry them out
00:00:56 Bookworms: Headquarters
00:00:59 operates libraries at six locations
00:01:03 American personnel can check out a book
00:01:06 Phung Tao, Saigon,
00:01:10 If you can't stop in
00:01:12 write to the HSAS Library.
00:01:14 Ask for the books by author,
00:01:17 and your selections
00:01:19 With the holiday season
00:01:22 those personnel wishing
00:01:25 wishing to send Christmas
00:01:27 are asked to do so
00:01:30 due to a yearly mail rush
00:01:33 Don't disappoint your--
00:01:44 So take your liberties, but
00:01:49 Lost luggage.:
00:01:51 The Armed Forces sincerely
00:01:54 due to luggage lost
00:01:57 Personal missing luggage-- that should
00:02:01 are asked to drop a card to Major
00:02:05 The card should be no larger
00:02:07 and should describe
00:02:10 Major Kleiner requests that you
00:02:15 Those personnel with lost bag--
00:02:23 - All right.
00:02:28 - Airman Cronauer?
00:02:31 - Welcome to Saigon, sir.
00:02:33 - God, it's warm, huh?
00:02:38 I'm Private First Class Edward
00:02:42 Well, first thing, Garlick,
00:02:45 I like you already, sir.
00:02:47 Actually, what I am, sir, is
00:02:50 of orientation and billeting of
00:02:54 Whew. I'm impressed.
00:02:59 - It's already started.
00:03:07 Dream on
00:03:11 Little dreamer
00:03:17 Dream about a love so fine
00:03:21 Sweet as apple-berry wine
00:03:25 Dream on
00:03:28 Little dreamer
00:03:39 This is AFRS, Radio Saigon.
00:03:41 AFRS Radio is owned and operated
00:03:45 and operates on an assigned
00:03:48 - at 7 49 megahertz.
00:03:51 Not really.
00:03:55 - ...by Mantovani.
00:03:56 They play Mantovani to insomniacs
00:03:59 General likes easy listening. You know,
00:04:01 Mayday! Mayday! Dragon lady
00:04:05 - I can't do that, sir.
00:04:07 I've been on a small Greek island
00:04:12 And now that I do, you won't even
00:04:14 - You have a very important
00:04:18 - How'd she get ahead of us?
00:04:21 Ah, she's beautiful and quick.
00:04:23 This is incredible! Oh, my God!
00:04:29 I feel like a fox
00:04:37 We got a new man comin'in.
00:04:39 - Don't you understand, Dick?
00:04:43 Would you kindly
00:04:46 Yes, sir.
00:04:48 I run this show, General. If anything
00:04:52 I deserve to be notified
00:04:54 Nobody's arguing that with you.
00:04:57 Look, I caught his show on the
00:05:02 I damn near busted a gut laughin' at
00:05:06 This is a tempest in a teacup...
00:05:08 much ado about nothing.
00:05:11 For crying out loud, man,
00:05:14 Don't get crazy over this, Dick.
00:05:18 Sir, there is no such thing as ''only''
00:05:24 Lieutenant Steven Hauk
00:05:27 He's a little goofy,
00:05:30 Sergeant Major Dickerson--
00:05:33 He was a commander
00:05:36 He came to us because
00:05:38 and some sort of social infection
00:05:42 Plus, I think he got shot in the ass,
00:05:45 Anyway, he's the man
00:05:48 - Ed, are you always this happy?
00:05:51 - Sir!
00:05:54 - Hiya, General.
00:05:56 Listen, if you have any problems
00:05:59 I'm the tallest hog
00:06:03 - Garlick, have you put on some weight?
00:06:05 Why, son, the shadow
00:06:09 I'll work on that, sir.
00:06:14 - What's that, a new rule?
00:06:21 - That's Lieutenant Hauk in there.
00:06:24 How're you doin'?
00:06:29 Uh, Airman Cronauer, sir.
00:06:31 You know, i-it wouldn't kill you people
00:06:35 - Sorry.
00:06:38 I understand you're pretty funny
00:06:41 well, comedy
00:06:43 Well-- Well, actually, it's
00:06:47 Reader's Digest is considering
00:06:50 - Really?
00:06:53 And perhaps some night we could
00:06:57 Oh, why not? Maybe play a couple
00:07:02 - That's a joke, right?
00:07:12 Where is this man's paperwork?
00:07:16 - Right here, Sergeant.
00:07:21 United States Air Force.
00:07:30 - This is not military issue, Airman.
00:07:34 If you want to blend into a crowd of
00:07:39 That is humour.
00:07:43 I also recognize
00:07:45 I had a guy like you in the field
00:07:49 But not before his humour cost the lives
00:07:54 - I hope--
00:07:56 You're in Southeast Asia now, pal.
00:08:00 There's nothin' I can
00:08:02 In time, you will
00:08:06 You stay out of my way,
00:08:08 But if you toy with me,
00:08:11 you'll wish you died as a child.
00:08:14 - Am I being fairly clear?
00:08:16 ''Sir''?
00:08:19 You will address me
00:08:22 Yes, Sergeant Major Dickerson.
00:08:30 He reminds me a lot of Donna Reed,
00:08:33 Hello, hello, hello.
00:08:36 This is your chaplain,
00:08:39 your radio programme
00:08:42 Great and manifold
00:08:45 This great godly miracle
00:08:48 really gives me the opportunity...
00:08:50 to speak to you on the air!
00:08:52 Sir, it's time to rise.
00:08:57 My God, it's Mardi Gras,
00:09:00 Come on, sir. Couple of weeks,
00:09:03 - Oh, let me go back to bed.
00:09:05 God. What time is it, Edward?
00:09:07 - It's 5:30.
00:09:12 No, you have to get up right now
00:09:15 - Oh. Fine. Fine.
00:09:17 ...has signed Les Crane
00:09:19 - This way, sir. It's just down
00:09:21 - You must be nervous, sir, huh?
00:09:24 Don't worry about it.
00:09:47 We still have a few minutes
00:09:49 When it's time to read the news, you
00:09:52 But regardless of what you read,
00:09:56 So every item's checked
00:09:59 Guys, I'd like you to meet
00:10:22 That's Marty Lee Dreiwitz.
00:10:26 He's impeccably clean.
00:10:28 This man has cleaning products
00:10:32 He's also one of your roommates, so if
00:10:36 Sir, I-I really don't think that you
00:10:39 - We have a selection right here
00:10:42 I've been looking forward to meeting
00:10:45 - Can you say something funny
00:10:48 I'm with you, man.
00:10:51 What is the appeal of Joey Bishop?
00:10:54 I mean, the man's not funny.
00:10:57 Don't get me wrong. He seems like
00:11:01 Joey Bishop. I wish someone
00:11:03 Hey, incidentally,
00:11:10 Hey, this has been ''Fiction and Fact''
00:11:14 welcome the silky-smooth sound
00:11:22 Good morning, Vietnam!
00:11:26 Hey, this is not a test.
00:11:30 Time to rock it
00:11:32 Is that me, or does that sound like
00:11:34 Viva Da Nang.
00:11:38 Da Nang me, Da Nang me
00:11:41 Hey, is it a little too early
00:11:45 It's 0600. What's the ''O'' stand for?
00:11:48 Speaking of early, how about
00:11:50 Thank you, Marty, for ''silky-smooth
00:11:54 ''Good morning, Vietnam''?
00:11:57 I don't know, Lieutenant. I-I guess
00:12:02 And who gave anyone permission
00:12:05 Freddy and the Dreamers!
00:12:10 Wrong speed.
00:12:14 For those of you recovering from a
00:12:18 Let's put her right back down.
00:12:21 Let's get it up on 7 8.
00:12:25 Those pilots are going,
00:12:27 Oh, it's still a bad song. Hey,
00:12:30 Let's play this backwards
00:12:34 Freddy is a devil.
00:12:39 Picture a man going on a journey
00:12:42 He's left Crete. He's entered
00:12:50 All right. Hey, what is this
00:12:53 Sounds like a couple
00:12:56 Hey, whatever it is, l like it
00:13:01 What is a demilitarized zone? Sounds
00:13:03 Oh, no, don't go in there.
00:13:06 Oh-we-oh
00:13:08 Oh, look, you've landed in Saigon.
00:13:11 You're among
00:13:13 We represent the ARVN Army
00:13:16 Oh, no! Follow the Ho Chi Minh Trail.
00:13:19 ''Oh, I'll get you, my pretty!'' Oh, my
00:13:24 It's Hanoi Hanna!
00:13:26 ''Now, little GI, you and
00:13:32 ''Oh, Adrian. Adrian.
00:13:36 Oh, Hanna, you slut. You've been down
00:13:41 Uh, you know, he's really funny. You
00:13:45 Which Marx brother
00:13:48 - I don't find him funny at all.
00:13:52 Hey, uh, hi.
00:13:55 Roosevelt, what town are you stationed
00:13:58 Well, thank you, Roosevelt.
00:14:00 ''It's hot. Damn hot!
00:14:02 Hottest things is my shorts.
00:14:06 Well, can you tell me what it feels
00:14:09 Were you born on the sun?
00:14:12 I saw-- It's so damn hot,
00:14:16 It's that hot!
00:14:18 What do you think it's going to be like
00:14:20 That's nice if you're with a lady,
00:14:23 Thank you, Roosevelt. Here's a song
00:14:26 ''Nowhere To Run To''
00:14:34 Too much?
00:14:36 - Thank you, Marty.
00:14:41 Nowhere to hide
00:14:44 Got nowhere to run to, baby
00:14:48 Nowhere to hide
00:14:51 lt's not love l'm a-runnin'from
00:14:55 lt's the heartbreak
00:14:58 'Cause l know you're no good for me
00:15:01 But you've become such a part of me
00:15:04 Everywhere l go your face l see
00:15:08 - Every step l take you take with me
00:15:12 - Yeah, nowhere to run to, baby
00:15:16 AFVN-- better than AFVD, which means
00:15:20 - We're movin' on right now.
00:15:22 - l get around
00:15:25 - From town to town
00:15:28 What's the difference between the Army
00:15:31 - Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery.
00:15:35 l'm gettin'bugged drivin'up
00:15:38 l gotta find a new place
00:15:45 Hey, l'm Adrian Cronauer.
00:15:47 Why? Because l have to.
00:15:49 We're talking out in the field today.
00:15:53 Bob, what do you do?
00:15:56 Can we play anything for you?
00:16:00 - l'm makin'real good bread
00:16:03 - l get around,
00:16:05 Get around, 'round, 'round
00:16:08 You know, l have to admit something
00:16:11 Whoo! Thank you.
00:16:14 ''Those girls are just so pretty.''
00:16:17 ''Yes, I am.
00:16:21 Lyndon, why did you name
00:16:24 '''Cause Lynda Dog would be too cruel.''
00:16:27 ''You know, if you pick 'em up by their
00:16:29 ''Oh, you're goin'
00:16:32 Watch out o'er there!''
00:16:35 Ho Chi Minh, Colonel Sanders--
00:16:37 You be thejudge. Our lines are open.
00:16:39 We've got our traffic report
00:16:42 ''Adrian, it's not goin'
00:16:44 There's a water buffalo jackknifed
00:16:49 I don't know what to say.
00:16:52 Have a little barbecue.''
00:16:58 The purpose of a man
00:17:01 And the purpose of a woman
00:17:06 So come on, baby, let's start today
00:17:10 The game of love, love
00:17:14 We've got a special man in the audience
00:17:17 He's a fashion consultant for the Army.
00:17:21 l want to tell you something.
00:17:25 Why is that? ''Well, because you go
00:17:28 You know, it's like wearing
00:17:32 You know, you go in the jungle,
00:17:36 - You know what l mean?''
00:17:40 Thank you for that lovely tune.
00:17:45 Let's go.
00:17:48 That's about it
00:17:50 I'm gonna take myself
00:17:53 to Mr Excitement,
00:17:58 Dan Levitan!
00:18:04 This is AFRS, Radio Saigon,
00:18:07 Dan ''The Man''Levitan.
00:18:09 Greetings and salutations
00:18:13 and thanks so much
00:18:18 Yeah! Yeah!
00:18:21 Yeah, he's funny! I know funny.
00:18:25 Sensational!
00:18:27 - At ease!
00:18:30 Just cool your tongue, Airman,
00:18:37 First of all, don't make fun
00:18:40 And don't say that the weather
00:18:43 - In fact, it's two degrees
00:18:47 Me without my muff.
00:18:50 - Muff! I tell you, this guy's funny.
00:18:54 You know, I hate the fact
00:18:58 I am a lieutenant,
00:19:01 That's what being a higher rank
00:19:04 Second--
00:19:06 - Second--
00:19:08 Programming taste.
00:19:11 Frankly, I found your ''I love
00:19:15 How can you have the gall to compare
00:19:18 with a glass
00:19:20 Well, I was-- It just comes up.
00:19:23 - Funny is good. Funny is good.
00:19:26 But then do it by using
00:19:29 not police action
00:19:31 Furthermore, you are to stick
00:19:35 not wild stuff.
00:19:37 Those we would find acceptable here
00:19:42 Jim Nabors, Mantovani.
00:19:44 - Percy Faith.
00:19:48 Andy Williams, Perry Como and
00:19:52 - Would Bob Dylan be out of line?
00:19:58 Former VP Richard Nixon
00:20:01 Dreiwitz, I've assigned you
00:20:04 - He likes to say PC
00:20:07 - The lieutenant loves to abbreviate.
00:20:10 And if you do happen to speak with him,
00:20:15 - Affirmative, sir.
00:20:20 Okay. Who do we have slated
00:20:25 Well, we originally wanted Bob Hope,
00:20:29 - Why not?
00:20:33 Bob likes a big room, sir.
00:20:37 - That is not funny!
00:20:47 - How about if what escalated?
00:20:51 The Vietnam conflict.
00:20:53 We are not going to escalate
00:20:58 We can get Tony Bennett
00:21:00 I got it.Jerry Vale.
00:21:04 - Is that date firm?
00:21:07 Oh, come on. This is not the Catskills.
00:21:10 - Don't dick around here.
00:21:13 and they won't be off the sand
00:21:16 Uh, well, didn't somebody
00:21:21 just say that that kind of music
00:21:24 Sorry, sir.
00:21:28 The former VP
00:21:31 I expect every minute of the VP's PC
00:21:34 within 1 2 hours of his arrival.
00:21:36 Something funny, Garlick?
00:21:40 No, sir. The former vice president
00:21:44 Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how
00:21:48 shouldn't we keep the PC on the QT,
00:21:50 he could end up an MIA,
00:22:02 - I would like to leave the room now.
00:22:13 Oh, what a dip.
00:22:17 If you d-d-d-do--
00:22:19 - And if you do--
00:22:23 Eddie Kirk here, and Ray Conniff jubilee
00:22:29 I call it a jubilee.
00:22:32 Three, maybe four,
00:22:58 We're here, sir.Jimmy Wah's.
00:23:03 This is the place where we
00:23:05 Real homey,
00:23:08 - Earl! Earl! Earl!
00:23:11 Hi! Hi! Hi!
00:23:14 - Now you say hi to me, then you smile.
00:23:17 Hey, you two Earl.
00:23:20 We'd love a couple
00:23:24 - Are either of our names ''Earl''?
00:23:28 Is it me, or is Jimmy
00:23:31 Let me put it to you this way.
00:23:35 He says he wants to
00:23:38 - For three years he's been trying.
00:23:40 You know, Walter Brennan
00:23:43 Well, well, well, Luke.
00:23:46 Anyway, there's this guy from
00:23:49 who swore that he could get him
00:23:52 And I've been trying to tell him that
00:23:55 - Oh, God. Nude photographs
00:23:58 - Thank you,Jimmy.
00:24:00 Any movement on the
00:24:03 No, and it doesn't
00:24:06 He look good to me.
00:24:10 Ba Muy Ba beer
00:24:12 Ba Muy Ba beer
00:24:16 Try it.
00:24:18 - Oh, what happened?
00:24:21 Formaldehyde. We put in just a touch
00:24:25 Some people get sick, yeah.
00:24:27 So if you have to be rushed
00:24:31 - I give you a free salad.
00:24:35 - You'll get used to it.
00:24:38 - There she is. Ahh. Any girl who wants
00:24:42 - The hunt is on.
00:24:44 - I gotta catch her
00:24:47 You have to taste my spicy chicken,
00:24:51 Hi. How's Lynn doing?
00:24:53 I'm sorry. You look
00:24:55 Listen, let me make it up to you
00:25:00 I not think be not correct of way.
00:25:06 - What'd she just say?
00:25:09 But, Edward, I'm in love.
00:25:11 Um-- She's getting away. Edward,
00:25:14 Okay. It's-It's
00:25:16 - You can stay here, sir.
00:25:19 - Ahh-- Bikes!
00:25:22 - There's actually
00:25:25 Let's go, Edward!
00:25:35 Sir! Sir, we have to get some
00:25:40 Sir! Sir, this is--
00:25:48 Sir!
00:25:50 Sir! Sir!
00:26:41 - Good afternoon, class.
00:26:44 Uh, the last-- last time, in our
00:26:49 You should've gotten the one
00:26:52 I was almost killed.
00:26:54 A truck's bumper
00:26:57 My whole life passed before my eyes
00:27:01 How am I gonna get to first base
00:27:04 I want to buy some butter
00:27:08 It zoomed right by,
00:27:11 Stamp collections, pulling chickweeds
00:27:15 arranging rakes by sizes
00:27:18 Even encapsulated in two seconds,
00:27:21 - I find that very alarming.
00:27:24 - How am I gonna get this girl
00:27:27 This is a very different culture.
00:27:29 family-sanctioned introductions
00:27:31 - Shh! Listen.
00:27:34 It read-- read for my...
00:27:37 - the book.
00:27:40 I've got to be with her,
00:27:43 - You think the teacher'd
00:27:45 - But you would need very...
00:27:47 specific introductions.
00:27:51 What we're going
00:27:54 Shopping for dinner, and the things you
00:28:00 Specifically--
00:28:06 - Can I help you?
00:28:08 and I would like to teach
00:28:17 I don't think you understand me,
00:28:20 It's all yours.
00:28:26 Hello, class.
00:28:30 I'd like to get to know
00:28:35 and your home and work phone on a
00:28:37 Sergeant Sloan our teacher.
00:28:40 I was sent here on very
00:28:44 First thing I'd like to know is,
00:28:47 - Is it English?
00:28:49 And how lucky for me.
00:28:52 Now, let's start off with the fact
00:28:56 Let's try a little phrase,
00:29:00 ''My boyfriend's back
00:29:02 Can we try that one?
00:29:05 Can we try ''My boyfriend's back''?
00:29:10 This is not for you.
00:29:13 Why do I feel like
00:29:17 - This is a nightmare.
00:29:20 Even saying that means
00:29:22 I can't really teach English.
00:29:26 I can only tell ya
00:29:31 Like, if you're walking on the streets
00:29:35 Excuse me. I would like to buy
00:29:39 No. No, come on.
00:29:41 Basically, we talk, ''Hey, man,
00:29:45 Now, if someone in
00:29:48 They're not a leper,
00:29:50 No. It means, ''Hey, baby,
00:29:53 It's like, ''How're you doin'?
00:29:56 Now, here's how you do it.
00:29:59 Then you go, ''Yeah, there's some skin.''
00:30:02 Yeah! Then you say,
00:30:04 - Say that.
00:30:06 Yes! Baby!
00:30:10 If something's really nice,
00:30:12 Doesn't mean you're going like,
00:30:15 Try that one. Say, ''Hey, baby,
00:30:19 Hey, baby, wh-wh-wh-wh-what's
00:30:26 - See you later.
00:30:28 - Well, I'm liking you too.
00:30:31 - You teach, um, uh,
00:30:33 - Play game of softball.
00:30:40 - You forget the girl.
00:30:42 She is say no. That is what walking
00:30:44 - I'm interested in the girl. I'm not
00:30:49 I would, however, love to buy you lunch,
00:30:52 - I not like you, sir.
00:30:54 I got a great personality.
00:30:56 You phoney, like American
00:30:59 Here to get something,
00:31:02 You come into my class,
00:31:04 - You come for the girl.
00:31:07 Yeah, I bribed my way to
00:31:10 But hey, I like the class. I'm gonna
00:31:15 - Come on. Come on.
00:31:18 No, I like you because you're honest,
00:31:21 We look like a before and after picture.
00:31:24 Sometimes your face look like a fish
00:31:27 It's true. It's very true.
00:31:30 You can buy me lunch,
00:31:34 I know Americans.
00:31:36 See a girl with the type breasts they
00:31:40 and they buy her some expensive food
00:31:44 - And then try and take her into a bed.
00:31:46 It's more devout here.
00:31:51 - Is there any food on this street
00:31:58 What the hell is this?
00:32:01 Oh, she pour Nuoc Mahmm
00:32:04 - Didn't know they had balls.
00:32:08 Eat. I can't.
00:32:12 No, it okay. I not tell you okay
00:32:16 You see?
00:32:20 I trust you, man.
00:32:24 You mad I not trust you,
00:32:27 You want be my friend,
00:32:30 Hey, I'll-I'll be-- I wanna be
00:32:34 Dig in. Mm-mm.
00:32:38 Jesus! Shit! God!
00:32:41 Oh! Hot!
00:32:44 - This stuff is burning
00:32:47 Hot? No.
00:32:52 - She say it's a little spicy.
00:32:56 Isn't that funny?
00:33:00 A little of this? Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!
00:33:02 Hey, Moe! Hey, Moe!
00:33:05 - Oh, you are being silly.
00:33:11 - You old enough for this place?
00:33:14 Hi, Earl!
00:33:18 - Look at the new friend.
00:33:22 I want to show you
00:33:24 - Oh, really?
00:33:28 - I can confide you?
00:33:30 Look at the shape
00:33:32 the way it so elegantly
00:33:36 Help me get some photo
00:33:41 - You're a very sick man.
00:33:44 Thank you.
00:33:47 Oh, God.
00:33:49 Ladies and gentlemen,
00:33:54 Adrian Cronauer!
00:33:59 Not enough for the car.
00:34:01 - What happened with the girl?
00:34:03 I want to introduce you to someone
00:34:06 - This is Tuan. The guys.
00:34:09 - Guys, Tuan.
00:34:11 Hi, Tuan.
00:34:14 - That's terrible. That's terrible.
00:34:21 I've-- I'll never have them.
00:34:23 I've always wanted girls like that,
00:34:26 Who the hell gets laid as a young
00:34:28 Cowgirls are called gals. Those are
00:34:33 Don't ruin it by conjuring up images
00:34:36 Can you believe the shape
00:34:41 The one in blue.
00:34:43 Those behinds were designed by a Jewish
00:34:47 - Dr Heimlich Feintush.
00:34:49 - but nobody can come up
00:34:53 Oh, girls, girls!
00:34:56 Pardon me, girls?
00:34:59 Hello! Come on. Yes.
00:35:02 Here she comes
00:35:06 - It says we're not supposed to
00:35:09 - It says so in the memo.
00:35:12 - I will note your objection.
00:35:15 Here she comes
00:35:19 - This way, please.
00:35:21 Hello, I'm William Holden.
00:35:25 - Oh. Oh! Bingo.
00:35:28 Merry Christmas.
00:35:30 - How come I don't get one?
00:35:35 What's your name?
00:35:38 Hey, who brought in the gook?
00:35:42 I said, who brought in
00:35:48 I love you.
00:35:50 - A khaki eclipse.
00:35:52 That's all right.
00:35:55 If you kick out the gooks, the next
00:35:58 All that's gonna be left in here
00:36:01 - And what fun would that be?
00:36:04 - Now, come on. Let me buy you
00:36:07 - I might b--
00:36:09 Hey!
00:36:11 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:36:14 - You gotta prove somethin', knockin'
00:36:18 We don't like gooks. We don't want
00:36:21 Everybody say ''gook,''
00:36:24 -Jump in anytime, okay?
00:36:27 I got to tell you somethin',
00:36:29 I've been all around the world, seen
00:36:32 I have never ever in my travels
00:36:37 with as much muscles,
00:36:40 Ooh!
00:36:42 He mean that as compliment!
00:36:45 Oh, shit!
00:36:46 That's it for you, asshole!
00:36:50 Call police, quick!
00:37:00 Talk.
00:37:01 These two behemoths were physically
00:37:05 So you start a brawl. Turn the place
00:37:10 Do you have any idea how
00:37:13 start a fucking bar brawl?
00:37:25 You're not gonna
00:37:27 - You can always
00:37:32 I can come up with alternatives
00:37:35 I got people stuck in places
00:37:38 You don't think I can
00:37:40 - Can you envision some fairly
00:37:45 A bar brawl.
00:37:49 You better stay cool. You better
00:37:52 You better not even come within range
00:37:56 or your ass is grass,
00:37:59 - Am I being fairly clear?
00:38:01 ''Sir''? Do you see anything on
00:38:05 - What does three up and three down
00:38:11 Sergeant Major.
00:38:13 Now, you get the hell
00:38:27 Jesus. Enough.
00:38:32 Wake up, Mr Sleepy Head.
00:38:49 Gentlemen, what can I say
00:38:52 - Hiya.
00:38:55 Okay, which one of you guys
00:38:58 Oh, censor, censor, censor.
00:39:03 Hey, come on. What kind of
00:39:05 Nixon, Singapore,
00:39:09 Come on. You're on
00:39:11 It's time for Adrian Cronauer.
00:39:13 Good morning, Vietnam!
00:39:17 Hello, campers.
00:39:20 That's right. Time to take that
00:39:24 Sugar and spice
00:39:27 Kisses sweeter than wine
00:39:30 Sugar and spice
00:39:33 You know that little girl is mine
00:39:43 Everybody stops
00:39:50 We're back. Here's the news.
00:39:53 the sweetest-smelling army
00:39:57 Great Britain recognized
00:40:00 How do you recognize an island? Do you
00:40:03 Wait, wait. Didn't we meet last year
00:40:06 You look a lot like Hawaii.
00:40:10 Pope Paul VI
00:40:14 You know, one day I want to meet him,
00:40:17 The Mississippi River broke through
00:40:20 What is-- What is a protective dike?
00:40:24 ''But Betty--'' ''Don't go near there.
00:40:27 I know we can't use the word ''dyke.'' You
00:40:31 Now here's the weather. We're gonna
00:40:35 ''Adrian, I'm with somebody. Don't even
00:40:37 - Well, thanks, Roosevelt.
00:40:40 I'm on the balcony,
00:40:42 Well, what's the weather like?
00:40:44 Thank you, Roosevelt. We'll have to
00:40:46 I guess we'll have to go all the way
00:40:50 ''I just want to begin by saying
00:40:54 'What it is, what it shall be,
00:40:57 Weather out there today
00:40:59 with continued hot and shitty
00:41:02 Tomorrow a chance of continued
00:41:06 Basically, it's hotter than
00:41:10 Okay, we're gonna hit some songs
00:41:15 What the hell was that?
00:41:18 - Comedy, sir.
00:41:21 - Comedy is fun, it's antics,
00:41:25 - Airman Cronauer
00:41:28 Comedy of errors, like
00:41:32 Falling down, that's a sight gag.
00:41:34 - No, no, no, no.
00:41:38 - See, sir?
00:41:43 - Sir, it wouldn't work, l don't think.
00:41:47 - I-I-I-I-- If a field radio--
00:41:50 - Well, I thought I'd come
00:41:54 And you-- You are not funny,
00:41:57 and you'd better start
00:42:01 Sir?
00:42:03 Thank you for that
00:42:05 It's a privilege to take comedy notes
00:42:10 Fine.Just don't
00:42:18 Whoa.
00:42:20 In the dictionary under ''asshole,''
00:42:23 Why am I here? All right, we're gonna
00:42:26 Here we go. Here's a little
00:42:31 Baby, help me, please.
00:42:33 Whoa, l feel good
00:42:37 l knew that l would, now
00:42:40 l feel good
00:42:44 l knew that l would, now
00:42:47 So good
00:42:50 l got you
00:42:52 - Ow
00:43:00 When l hold you in my arms
00:43:03 l know that l can do no wrong
00:43:06 And when l hold you in my arms
00:43:09 My love can't do me no harm
00:43:12 And l feel nice
00:43:18 l feel nice
00:43:21 - Like sugar and spice
00:43:25 - So nice
00:43:26 - So nice
00:43:31 - l feel good
00:43:34 - l knew that l would, now
00:43:37 l feel good
00:43:40 l knew that l would
00:43:44 So good
00:43:46 - Sir, Walter Cronkite
00:43:50 - Yes!
00:43:53 - That's a form of humour, sir.
00:43:56 - Yes, sir.
00:43:58 - We're pretty happy with him,
00:44:02 - I will tell him, sir.
00:44:08 Very good! All right, now.
00:44:12 - If someone is not telling the truth,
00:44:16 - Shit.
00:44:18 If someone is making you angrier
00:44:22 - Pissed me off.
00:44:26 Okay.Join the others if you can.
00:44:29 If you say that, hey, some people in
00:44:32 - All of a sudden you--
00:44:41 Very good. Okay. Now we got
00:44:44 Okay, there's a Puerto Rican waitress.
00:44:47 She's got some tomato soup.
00:44:50 on your brand-new gaberdine pants that
00:44:53 - You're a little angry,
00:44:57 and god damn it
00:45:00 That's stupid.
00:45:03 No, you step on crap.
00:45:05 - You can step on crap. I know you can.
00:45:09 No, no. You see, you-you-you step
00:45:12 I'm pretty sure you can step in crap.
00:45:15 How can some person look like a shit?
00:45:18 I think-- Okay, let's stop with the--
00:45:21 Let's try a very special situation.
00:45:25 A waitress comes up to you. You're, eh--
00:45:28 She comes up, she spills soup
00:45:31 ''Eh, I'm sorry.
00:45:34 What would you say? They spilled
00:45:40 I do nothing.
00:45:45 Come on, Wilkie. It's cursing class.
00:45:49 I just remain reticent.
00:45:51 Okay, she goes in the kitchen, she gets
00:45:55 She's stabbing you.
00:45:58 They're startin' to cut you with knives.
00:46:02 - What would you do?
00:46:09 Mr Cronauer, we like your lessons
00:46:12 - When we play baseball?
00:46:15 Well, first we have to have
00:46:17 - Where are you come from?
00:46:20 - What are Queens?
00:46:23 No? Big men with moustaches
00:46:33 Yeah, lakai!
00:46:36 What is a lakai?
00:46:40 Relax, already, crazy American.
00:46:43 - I make a date with you
00:46:47 Nearby the larch tree, near Viet Hoa,
00:46:52 - Where's that?
00:46:54 - When you burn your mouth.
00:46:59 - You say it ridiculous.
00:47:03 - Hi.
00:47:05 Oh, God.
00:47:11 Chaperons.
00:47:13 In Vietnam, family often come...
00:47:15 to meet someone--
00:47:18 Hello. Hey.
00:47:22 Oh, God, help me.
00:47:26 Well, you know,
00:47:31 You're also very quiet.
00:47:33 And I'm not used to girls being
00:47:36 Normally I go out with girls
00:47:40 and they could power
00:47:43 You talk, I think, very much.
00:47:45 Well, you-- you see, I'm not used to
00:47:51 Oh. I don't want makes
00:47:54 I knows you very nice.
00:47:57 And for trusting,
00:48:01 on the gently of what you say...
00:48:04 or never to be for both
00:48:10 Well, I had you there, babe,
00:48:17 Hey, hey.
00:48:20 Hey, there you go. Whoa!
00:48:23 Hey, there we go. For you.
00:48:27 Knock yourselves out.
00:48:30 What's 1 / 1 3th of a dollar
00:48:32 No problem.
00:48:41 Hey, listen,
00:48:47 But it doesn't mean
00:48:51 Hey, I'll take
00:48:54 'cause I'm just happy
00:48:56 You want to see a movie
00:49:00 - We must to ask the people.
00:49:03 Attention, shoppers.
00:49:07 ''Under the Boardwalk''?
00:49:09 ''Shout'' by the Isley Brothers.
00:49:12 - You know any American songs at all?
00:49:16 You know ''Puff the Magic Dragon''?
00:49:19 Puff the Magic Dragon
00:49:22 - Living by the tree
00:49:25 Hey. Twelve, please. Um--
00:49:31 Take a blanket made for two now
00:49:33 Add a boy and a girl
00:49:36 That's a game for me and you now
00:49:39 Yeah, let's give it a whirl
00:49:42 Beach blanket bingo
00:49:45 Beach blanket bingo
00:49:48 Beach blanket bingo
00:49:50 That's the name of the game
00:50:10 My thoughts exactly.
00:50:28 Why can't I read this?
00:50:30 - They'd never approve
00:50:34 - That's not what America's all about.
00:50:37 Can we please not get into this right
00:50:39 Jesus, you could put amphetamine freaks
00:50:42 Got an ''Agreement on Guam''?
00:50:46 ''Hubert Humphrey visits Capitol Hill.''
00:50:48 - That's it. I'm readin' this.
00:50:50 Oh, Edward, don't you ever do
00:50:52 Not when I get into trouble.
00:50:54 You know, Eddie, sometimes
00:50:58 It's called fun.
00:51:01 Take some chances once in a while,
00:51:04 - Find anything?
00:51:09 Hey, we're back. That last two seconds
00:51:14 And now here are the headlines.
00:51:17 Ah! Here they come at you right now.
00:51:21 and Ethel Merman
00:51:23 The East Germans today claimed that
00:51:26 Also, the Pope decided today to release
00:51:30 Yes, it's the new Pope-on-a-Rope.
00:51:33 Wash with it, go straight
00:51:36 Ethel Merman today uses
00:51:40 Oh, l've got a feeling
00:51:43 That love is here to stay
00:51:46 When asked for a reply, the Russians
00:51:51 Here's a news flash.
00:51:55 The bill basically said
00:51:59 Hey, we got a great show
00:52:01 Former Vice President Richard Nixon's
00:52:05 I think there's
00:52:09 You be the judge.
00:52:12 Now listen: ''Wilbur, come in the room.''
00:52:15 Some more songs.
00:52:20 - Well, if you want me, it's all right
00:52:23 - lt's all right
00:52:26 - Well, if you want me, it's all right
00:52:29 - lt's all right
00:52:31 The requests will be taken
00:52:34 Where do you call from? ''Yeah, I'm in
00:52:38 - I'm trying to call you right now.''
00:52:43 - You know, now, how l love ya
00:52:46 Believe me
00:52:49 lf you want me, it's all right
00:52:53 - lf you want me, it's all right,
00:52:56 - lt's all right
00:52:58 - Well, if you want me, it's all right
00:53:01 - lt's all right
00:53:04 Once again we've got our friend
00:53:07 Can you tell us what you've found out
00:53:11 ''We found out
00:53:14 They're out there, and we're having
00:53:17 in finding the enemy.''
00:53:20 Well, what do you use
00:53:22 ''Well, we ask people,
00:53:25 And whoever says yes,
00:53:27 -All right
00:53:29 - Well, if you want me, it's all right
00:53:32 ''It's very difficult to find
00:53:36 They're all named Nyugen
00:53:40 - It's very difficult for me.''
00:53:45 Thanks very much.
00:53:48 You're actually too close to some
00:53:51 ''Nerve-- uh, gas?''
00:53:53 Yes, have you used any?
00:53:55 ''Well, once, yes, on myself.
00:53:58 And it had no-- Whoa! Whoa!
00:54:01 I've had no actual--
00:54:05 Whoa! Whoa! Big dogs!
00:54:09 I don't know what that means.''
00:54:11 Hey, that's it for me.
00:54:13 That's the end of the Adrian Cron Hour,
00:54:16 Dan ''The Tan'' Levitan!
00:54:20 Thank you so much, Adrian.
00:54:22 Adrian Cronauer, GIs,
00:54:25 - to AFRS, Radio Saigon.
00:54:27 Well, wait till you hear it.
00:54:30 Uh, no, man, listen. Let me just feed
00:54:38 - Where do you imagine you're going?
00:54:41 You don't have time. You'll stay here
00:54:44 We promised our listening audience
00:54:48 I've been on the air for four hours.
00:54:50 - That's a joke, right? I get it.
00:54:55 Well, I'm actually
00:55:01 Oh, it's an order.
00:55:08 Thank you.
00:55:12 Aha! Ha! Earl!
00:55:14 Ha, you again.
00:55:17 Oh, you got it.James!
00:55:19 - You look like an Oriental leprechaun.
00:55:22 I got it in Hong Kong...
00:55:24 home of the shiny
00:55:29 And therefore,
00:55:31 or a neutralist sentiment
00:55:33 As l leave Vietnam today, there
00:55:38 - That's Nixon.
00:55:41 and that this war
00:55:44 Asia does involve, l think,
00:55:48 Well, l really didn't make that
00:55:51 The United States
00:55:54 - Why would Cronauer's voice
00:55:58 ...its territory
00:55:59 Mr Nixon, thank you for that
00:56:02 but l think l'd like to delve into
00:56:06 How would you describe
00:56:08 - That they're soft, that they're
00:56:11 - What are you saying, sir?
00:56:15 - How would you describe
00:56:20 Well, have you considered possibly
00:56:23 - Please don't do this to me.
00:56:27 Mr Nixon, while you've been in Vietnam,
00:56:31 Are you planning, sir, to
00:56:34 - How would you do that?
00:56:36 by helicopter
00:56:40 l was wondering if you could do your
00:56:43 Cut that thing off.
00:56:46 - Sir.
00:56:49 - Still eating, sir.
00:56:53 - What, sir?
00:56:56 - VG, sir.
00:56:59 to bring you an emergency selection
00:57:02 We simply need to consider
00:57:05 Lieutenant, we get hundreds,
00:57:10 He's the first man in the history
00:57:14 Every GI in this country
00:57:17 at 0600 hours and 1 600 hours
00:57:21 Sir, the man has got
00:57:24 He did a very off-colour
00:57:28 - I thought it was hilarious.
00:57:31 the former V.P. is a good man
00:57:34 Bullshit!
00:57:37 He lugs a trainload of shit behind him
00:57:41 Why, I wouldn't buy an apple from
00:57:45 Let's get down to business here,
00:57:48 We've got a mounting crisis
00:57:52 If you two have personal problems,
00:57:55 Thank you, Lieutenant.
00:58:00 Thank you, Lieutenant!
00:58:07 Speak your piece, Dick.
00:58:11 Due respect, sir. I have over 1 5 years
00:58:15 Do you really expect me to run
00:58:19 Right now, yes.
00:58:24 Yes, sir.
00:58:29 This is not over yet.
00:58:33 lf somebody wants you
00:58:36 - Why are you still here?
00:58:39 You say after you go out with Trinh, you
00:58:42 - There's nothing to discuss.
00:58:44 - No, she don't.
00:58:47 - She's not far from here.
00:58:50 You have to meet her today.
00:58:53 - Don't want to miss my big chance.
00:58:56 - You sound like you learned English
00:58:58 Okay.
00:59:01 - I still can't believe
00:59:04 I guess that beach movie
00:59:07 I gotta get her something.
00:59:11 - No.
00:59:13 How 'bout--
00:59:27 Oh, my God!
01:00:11 Oh, my God.
01:00:15 Oh, my bar!
01:00:27 Get back!
00:00:12 Let's go. Come on.
00:00:14 Get back.
00:00:22 ...fire is worse, and the fire is
00:00:37 Hey, where's he going?
00:00:43 What do you think you're doing?
00:00:46 - What's there to check?
00:00:48 If this is a legitimate news story,
00:00:51 Listen, Tweedle-dee,
00:00:54 It's the truth.
00:00:56 - What's goin' on here?
00:01:03 This is not official news, Airman. As
00:01:06 - It did happen and I was--
00:01:08 What are you afraid of, Dickerson?
00:01:10 This news
00:01:12 You want everyone going under
00:01:15 The fighting's not just in the hills.
00:01:17 I said it is none of
00:01:22 I see your point.
00:01:27 I guess I get inside, hit these
00:01:31 Thanks for settin' me straight.
00:01:38 That about wraps it up for me,
00:01:41 vacationing Eddie Kirk, who, despite all
00:01:45 Right now, it's once again time
00:01:48 Adrian Cronauer.
00:01:57 Good morning, Vietnam!
00:02:02 Hey, l know it's not the morning,
00:02:04 and ''good evening''
00:02:07 Hey, we're goin'
00:02:12 From England, today,
00:02:16 Easy, Madge. Also, uh, Elizab--
00:02:20 Elizabeth Taylor.
00:02:23 Way to go, Liz. Yea!
00:02:27 All right! In Saigon today,
00:02:30 nothing actually happened.
00:02:32 One thing that didn't officially happen
00:02:36 unofficially destroying
00:02:38 - Get him out of there.
00:02:42 - whose identities are still not known
00:02:45 - Well, break the goddam door down!
00:02:50 what's believed to be unofficial
00:02:52 - Turn the power off in that studio.
00:02:57 I just wanted
00:03:42 The man should be
00:03:44 You think this is the most serious set
00:03:46 - Well, it's not.
00:03:49 - The man is a goddamned subversive.
00:03:51 Mistake, sir? I don't want to be around
00:03:55 I run the station according to strict
00:03:58 Military intelligence?
00:04:01 Sir, the man is
00:04:03 In the eight weeks he's been on
00:04:07 He's read unofficial news.
00:04:11 What's he gonna be like when
00:04:13 - How easy is it gonna be
00:04:18 Well, Hauk can do it, sir,
00:04:23 - Okay, for now, suspend him.
00:04:27 Right here, right here on our show,
00:04:33 Set me free why don't you, babe
00:04:35 Set me free
00:04:38 You don't really need me
00:04:42 Thank you very much. Let me introduce
00:04:45 Thank you very much.
00:04:48 - What'd he say?
00:04:51 Well, tell him I drink
00:04:58 It's not funny at all,
00:05:00 Tell him thanks. It's nice
00:05:02 You will get sick
00:05:08 My village not too far from here.
00:05:11 You could see
00:05:13 Listen, Sparky, I don't think
00:05:17 - You see Trinh there.
00:05:21 Red leather, yellow leather.
00:05:23 - Red-- Red leather, yellow leather.
00:05:26 Reading the news is one thing,
00:05:30 Sir? l'm begging you. Don't try to
00:05:34 l'll do fine.
00:05:36 l've got pages and pages
00:05:39 l'm afraid you're gonna
00:05:42 If it isn't funny, then why did I
00:05:45 l was thinking
00:05:47 Thank you for your support.
00:05:51 Sir, you're not funny.
00:05:53 Ask me. Sir,
00:05:56 uh, uh, l think you're gonna--
00:05:58 l mean, l know funny, and l don't think
00:06:01 Me, l'm not much
00:06:05 Hey, that was the great,
00:06:07 - Beach Boys. Those were guys.
00:06:11 Hey, that wraps it up for me,
00:06:13 Adrian Cronauer is on
00:06:15 but boy, do l have
00:06:17 - Don't build him up.
00:06:20 the lieutenant of laughs, the officer
00:06:25 swingin'Steven Hauk!
00:06:29 Hello, Vietnam.
00:06:32 Soon, the news.
00:06:35 ''Lieutenant Steve!
00:06:39 Who's that?
00:06:42 Listen, Frenchy, let me ask you
00:06:45 ''Oh, but of course.
00:06:48 Well, then, I guess that would
00:06:53 ''Oh, ho, ho, ho, Lieutenant Steve.''
00:06:56 - Oh, Frenchy.
00:07:01 Frenchy. You know,
00:07:04 because sometimes he
00:07:08 and he could ''Al Hirt'' me.
00:07:10 ''Uh, Lieutenant Steve,
00:07:13 Okay, Frenchy.
00:07:15 ''Well, uh, I love a good polka
00:07:19 Well, a good polka it is
00:07:31 I think some apologies
00:07:43 You're not gonna continue
00:08:26 - What are they doing?
00:08:28 They're sitting
00:08:32 They're waiting
00:08:50 This man lose one son
00:08:55 His father and brother
00:08:59 I think it's not fair to him.
00:09:58 Look.
00:10:00 He's going,
00:10:02 How lovin'can you feel
00:10:06 Don't you know that the time
00:10:09 And don't you know that it ain't gonna
00:10:12 And it all wacka-wack
00:10:16 Look. Up there. Pull.
00:10:18 Pull.
00:10:38 You not understand.
00:10:42 We no future together, ''Cronow.''
00:10:46 My country, maybe no future.
00:10:53 Hey, I like you. I just want
00:10:55 - I know it sounds dumb.
00:11:00 No. No friend, ''Cronow.''
00:11:04 Not good for, for me.
00:11:06 My brother,
00:11:09 But Vietnam ladies not friends.
00:11:15 Please. Okay?
00:11:18 Not friends.
00:11:30 Great week.
00:12:14 That's about as good a polka
00:12:21 You want Cronauer
00:12:25 We've gotten duffel bags
00:12:29 The men all hate Hauk.
00:12:32 He's an exhilarating personality,
00:12:36 - I think I see a pattern forming here.
00:12:39 Uh, e.g. ''Hey, Hauk, eat a bag
00:12:43 That's pretty much to the point, sir.
00:12:45 We got one positive call from some guy
00:12:50 The other 1 ,1 00 calls said that the man
00:12:54 - That's a direct quote, sir.
00:12:59 From a marine in Da Nang: ''Captain Hauk
00:13:04 I have no idea what that means, sir,
00:13:08 I think the troops are tryin'
00:13:11 Sir, if it is my programming
00:13:14 I've been broadcasting
00:13:18 weren't represented by Cronauer's
00:13:21 But I can easily play
00:13:24 It doesn't make a damn whether
00:13:28 Nothing personal. The men just
00:13:31 He maliciously and with purposeful
00:13:35 No, no, no, no.
00:13:37 We all make mistakes. Now this thing
00:13:42 and I don't want it
00:13:45 The men want him back,
00:13:47 Sir, you heard from the men
00:13:52 And as far as polkas, they are
00:13:56 Lieutenant, you don't know whether
00:14:01 They're rioting in Hue. We're bringin'
00:14:05 Terrorism's on the uprise
00:14:07 The problems of this country have not
00:14:10 whether you play polkas
00:14:13 The men want him back.
00:14:16 Reinstate the man.
00:14:19 Sir, in my heart...
00:14:21 I know I'm funny.
00:14:24 Thank you, Lieutenant.
00:14:35 - There you are, sir.
00:14:38 It just came down the pike.
00:14:40 - I'm not goin' on.
00:14:44 If you don't understand what I said,
00:14:48 You're a very attractive man, Abersold.
00:14:53 - You'll be bored, you know.
00:14:57 I may go downtown, look
00:15:01 Or I may just stay here
00:15:03 Try and find some hidden meaning
00:15:09 Genius. What are you
00:15:12 I'm sayin' I'm through, Ed. I'm tired
00:15:16 This news isn't official.
00:15:19 I can't even make fun of
00:15:23 So fuck it. Sorry.
00:15:28 - Is he all right?
00:15:30 A man does not refer to Pat Boone
00:15:39 - Sir.
00:15:42 I'd like you to collate these
00:15:45 You have a problem
00:15:49 Absolutely not.
00:15:52 Good. So do I.
00:15:59 - ''Get AJob.''
00:16:03 - Get a job. Right. You got it.
00:16:07 - Edward.
00:16:10 - On anything in particular?
00:16:14 Thousands of guys wrote in, called in,
00:16:19 And I literally think
00:16:24 If you haven't noticed,
00:16:27 They've been harassing me since
00:16:29 So what? It's the guys
00:16:35 Edward, I tried to tell the truth,
00:16:38 I screw up once more,
00:16:42 What you do is important
00:16:44 Forget it, will ya?
00:16:47 I'm gonna phone 'em in, okay?
00:16:51 - Buy you some lunch.
00:16:53 Listen, if I don't get to my class,
00:16:57 - Look, we gotta talk.
00:17:00 I can't believe you!
00:17:04 You're gonna leave the whole fuckin'
00:17:07 - People are depending on you!
00:17:11 That's two nasty words
00:17:13 - Forgive me.
00:17:16 Hey, you wanna give me a ride to school
00:17:19 You're pissin' me off.
00:17:32 - What the hell's the hold-up?
00:17:39 Garlick, will you cut it out?
00:17:44 We are not firing you
00:17:54 - Gentlemen?
00:17:57 Hey, guys. Guess who the hell
00:18:00 - Uh-oh. Don't do this shit.
00:18:03 - Senator Dirksen.
00:18:05 -Moe.
00:18:08 The fellow I got in here is
00:18:13 - You're a dead man.
00:18:17 Hey, Peterson, get up here, man.
00:18:20 Hey, Cronauer, say
00:18:25 Oh, give me a break, man.
00:18:27 - Come on.
00:18:29 - How do we know it's Adrian Cronauer?
00:18:33 I'll give her the best shot.
00:18:35 Good morning, Vietnam!
00:18:42 All right! All right!
00:18:46 We love you, Cron!
00:18:49 All right, this is Adrian Cronauer.
00:18:52 Hey, we'd like to welcome you
00:18:55 than a strong cup of cappuccino
00:18:58 That one's comin' right at you
00:19:02 ''Thank you. I think this fall,
00:19:06 Why? Because it matches
00:19:08 The leaves, they fall upon the helmets,
00:19:12 Here's a little news flash
00:19:15 We can't afford the teletype.
00:19:19 Former President Eisenhower,
00:19:22 He was quoted as saying:
00:19:24 It was fun being Pwesident.''
00:19:26 Also, Gina Lollobrigida has been
00:19:29 Thank you, Gina. ''Look out.
00:19:32 Let's play a little game show while
00:19:36 - Hi. Where you from?
00:19:38 - Boston, you know who
00:19:42 Thank you for playing! ''Yeah, shit,
00:19:45 You don't win the case of
00:19:49 - Here it is right now.
00:19:53 Patrick O-O-O-O'Malley. I don't know.
00:19:58 Oh, he's good.
00:20:00 I'm just so full of semen.
00:20:04 I'm sittin' out there,
00:20:07 - I'm just goin' off to Vietnam.
00:20:10 From the Village? Well, nice to have you
00:20:14 Obviously, you just said,
00:20:17 - It's a special thing to do.
00:20:20 -Jimmy Wilkes. Where you from,Jimmy?
00:20:22 Ohh! Two boys
00:20:24 Hey, said, ''Well, I got drunk, man.
00:20:27 Next thing you know, I'm on
00:20:29 It's wild, baby.
00:20:32 Nice to have you here.
00:20:34 - You're headed north.
00:20:36 Well, you gotta be careful,Jack.
00:20:38 That's like Newark after dark.
00:20:41 There's some heavy shit
00:20:43 You'll feel like George Wallace
00:20:46 ''Get yo' ass outta here!''
00:20:49 - You like, uh-- You like Little
00:20:51 - I like James Brown better.
00:20:54 And the Stones. Oh, you like
00:20:56 Do you think he looks like
00:21:00 Really. And that hair. I think--
00:21:03 Gentlemen, I don't know--
00:21:05 My God, they're moving!
00:21:08 Look out. I'm singing, everybody.
00:21:11 - Watch out. All right.
00:21:15 - Cleveland.
00:21:17 Aw, nah.
00:21:20 You guys take care of yourself, 'cause
00:21:25 - What's this thing on the side of
00:21:28 Well, ''Why don't you try it out?''
00:21:32 You got large, medium
00:21:35 Look at this thing. A little
00:21:39 Look at this thing. Obviously, this
00:21:41 Hold on. Look. How big is this thing?
00:21:44 Black man's goin', ''It's just for
00:21:48 It's a bathing cap.
00:21:51 Remember, this is the Vietnamese word
00:21:55 There. Whoa, jeez.
00:21:58 There's prophylactic everywhere, man.
00:22:01 There's pieces of rubber
00:22:04 I don't know what to say.
00:22:06 - My name is Lewis Striker.
00:22:10 - Sean Donum.
00:22:12 Feels like the Mouseketeers show.
00:22:15 Well, you guys, you take care
00:22:19 All right, guys, let's say goodbye
00:22:27 Bye-bye-bye-bye!
00:22:47 All right!
00:23:41 Good morning, Vietnam!
00:23:45 Hey, it's another delightful day
00:23:48 Everybody, time to get up.
00:23:50 Get up, wherever you are.
00:23:53 That's right, rise and shine,
00:23:56 Got some songs goin' out
00:24:00 You know what I'm talkin' about.
00:24:03 You know.
00:24:05 They're out there. Special song
00:24:13 l see trees of green
00:24:17 Red roses too
00:24:20 l see them bloom
00:24:24 For me and you
00:24:26 And l think to myself
00:24:31 What a wonderful world
00:24:38 l see skies of blue
00:24:43 And clouds of white
00:24:46 The bright, blessed day
00:24:49 The dark, sacred night
00:24:52 And l think to myself
00:24:56 What a wonderful world
00:25:04 The colours of the rainbow
00:25:08 So pretty in the sky
00:25:11 Are also on the faces
00:25:14 Of people going by
00:25:16 l see friends shakin'hands
00:25:20 Sayin'
00:25:24 They're really saying
00:25:30 l hear babies crying
00:25:34 l watch them grow
00:25:37 They'll learn much more
00:25:40 Than l'll ever know
00:25:43 And l think to myself
00:25:48 What a wonderful world
00:25:54 Yes, l think to myself
00:26:01 What a wonderful world
00:26:10 - Oh, yeah
00:26:16 That was Louis B. Armstrong,
00:26:22 Want to interview some GIs
00:26:27 God only knows
00:26:29 It involves Cronauer, which
00:26:32 An Lac. And Cronauer would definitely
00:26:42 G-2, Corporal Tiser, sir.
00:26:46 One moment.
00:26:52 - Route One-A, sir,
00:26:56 No, sir, it does not.
00:27:00 - It is definitely not a friendly area.
00:27:03 It is hazardous and, uh,
00:27:07 Heavily fortified and considered
00:27:10 Thank you.
00:27:15 Sir, I recommend we issue
00:27:35 So this is the country where
00:27:39 God, is it hot.
00:27:42 Heat, humidity, terrorism. Still,
00:27:46 Hey, fellas,
00:27:57 You know, we haven't passed
00:28:00 Why do you make every Vietnamese town
00:28:04 Britain imposed an oil embargo
00:28:06 after that country's unilateral
00:28:09 Gambia, Singapore and the Maldive
00:28:14 Sertse Khama becomes
00:28:17 ln sports, all-star rookie
00:28:20 What do you think
00:28:22 I think I learned enough
00:28:24 I mean, maybe I can work
00:28:27 Really? Give me your best shot.
00:28:29 Give it a go.
00:28:31 This is Eddie Garlick comin' to you live
00:28:35 Now funkify it. Give me some real funk.
00:28:39 This is Eddie Garlick, com--
00:28:41 Good morning, Vietnam!
00:28:55 You're listening to Eddie Kirk
00:29:23 ...for, but we need
00:29:26 So send in your postcards
00:29:30 Hey!
00:29:36 You fine. How you are?
00:29:42 You come out.
00:29:45 Take you home.
00:30:02 Hi. This is Marty Lee Dreiwitz
00:30:05 Adrian Cronauer is on
00:30:07 and I'll be filling in until he arrives,
00:30:10 Right now, let's play a song
00:30:24 It's going to be an exciting day
00:30:31 ''Sukiyaki,'' ''Volare,''
00:30:35 - and ''Third Man Theme''
00:30:40 Baby, please don't go
00:30:43 Baby, please don't go
00:30:46 You know l love you so
00:30:51 - Baby, l'm done gone
00:30:59 - What's up?
00:31:02 He didn't show up for work today
00:31:07 Listen, jerkoff!
00:31:08 We're here fighting for your country!
00:31:12 An Lac. His pass say ''An Lac.''
00:31:14 An Lac? Shit!
00:31:29 - You okay?
00:31:32 No.
00:31:36 Come on, pal.
00:31:38 - I have a hunch.
00:31:40 Baby, please don't go
00:31:42 - VC. The fuckin' VC.
00:31:49 On that midnight train
00:31:59 Baby, please don't go
00:32:01 - How far you think we've gone?
00:32:06 Think we've reached Cambodia yet?
00:32:09 How can you fight a war
00:32:12 I don't know where they are.
00:32:14 Can't see dick.
00:32:23 It okay! You can come out now.
00:32:26 If you here, I cannot find you
00:32:29 It's too dangerous
00:32:31 You don't believe it's me?
00:32:38 - Tuan?
00:32:41 How the hell'd you
00:32:43 Your Jeep.
00:32:46 We're obviously not in Cambodia.
00:32:52 Try it again.
00:32:56 One more time.
00:33:01 God damn it. Our Jeep gets blown off
00:33:05 - That's great. You know why
00:33:10 Your limp pulled us to the right.
00:33:12 Stick with me. I don't want
00:33:17 We're not in Kansas
00:33:25 Listen.
00:33:34 Somewhere over there.
00:33:38 There it is, man. Yo!
00:33:43 Yo! Right there!
00:33:46 Yo, GI!
00:33:50 Boogaloo, boogaloo! Hey!
00:34:27 To avoid razor burn problems,
00:34:32 Your skin will look and feel
00:34:36 That's it for ''Hygiene in the Heat.''
00:34:38 - Welcome back.
00:34:44 I'm informing you that you're
00:34:50 - You don't have the power.
00:34:57 Oh, I got your pansy ass
00:35:02 The guys who flew you in from An Lac
00:35:06 - Who is this South Vietnamese boy?
00:35:11 A friend?
00:35:15 Yeah, and my mother's
00:35:17 Tuan is also known as
00:35:19 He's currently wanted by the
00:35:23 including the one
00:35:26 Surely you're familiar
00:35:29 Did you ever wonder how
00:35:35 It's dangerous out there.
00:35:39 And yet this boy can get in
00:35:42 And what about Jimmy Wah's? Didn't you
00:35:45 just moments before
00:35:48 Or are you normally
00:35:53 Friends of Phan Duc Tho.
00:35:56 These three were executed shortly
00:36:04 Your friend is next.
00:36:08 I don't recommend that you tangle
00:36:10 There's not too many high-ranking
00:36:15 The army is kind of
00:36:18 A conviction on the charge of treason
00:36:22 kind of on the stiff side,
00:36:25 I have arranged for
00:36:29 - Ten hut.
00:36:36 Cronauer, I'm sorry as hell about
00:36:40 I like what you do. Most of all,
00:36:44 But facts are facts.
00:36:47 This could give the army
00:36:52 Sir? What about the show?
00:36:57 We'll handle it.
00:36:59 I'm sorry, son.
00:37:06 Why'd you do this?
00:37:09 I don't like your style,
00:37:13 I don't like what you say
00:37:16 From now on, the fighting men
00:37:19 You're on a DC-8 from Tan Son Nhut
00:37:23 I recommend
00:37:26 That's all I have
00:37:39 You know...
00:37:41 you're in more dire need of a blow job
00:37:50 Whoa, there, Dick. Put the brakes on.
00:37:55 Uh, Dick,
00:37:58 - Transferring me, sir?
00:38:00 - Where to, sir?
00:38:03 Guam, sir! There's nothin' goin'
00:38:06 Dick, I've covered for you
00:38:10 But you're not crazy. You're mean.
00:38:24 ''More dire need of a blow job than
00:38:39 Hey, Teacher! When are you gonna
00:38:42 Listen, I gotta talk to you.
00:38:45 - Mr Cronauer, I must talk to you.
00:38:47 - Listen, you gotta tell me
00:38:49 Listen, his life is in danger.
00:38:53 - No, I don't--
00:38:55 Listen. No more games, okay?
00:38:59 I have to leave the country
00:39:02 They have pictures of him.
00:39:06 If you want to continue to have
00:40:18 Phan Duc Tho!
00:40:24 Get back here!
00:41:25 Know about
00:41:28 No wonder you hauled ass.
00:41:37 You were my friend.
00:41:41 I trusted you.
00:41:47 You hear me?
00:41:49 You naive man, ''Cronow.''
00:41:53 Now you have to go.
00:41:56 That's not the fucking point!
00:42:00 Understand me?
00:42:02 I fought to get you into that bar,
00:42:08 Listen. I gave you
00:42:14 and now they tell me that
00:42:18 Enemy? What is enemy?
00:42:21 You killing my own people
00:42:24 We not the enemy.
00:42:28 You used me to kill two people.
00:42:32 Big fucking deal!
00:42:34 My mother is dead.
00:42:37 And my older brother,
00:42:41 Shot by Americans.
00:42:44 My neighbour, dead.
00:42:48 Why?
00:42:50 Because we're not
00:42:53 We're only little Vietnamese.
00:42:59 And I'm stupid enough to save
00:43:09 Wait.
00:43:11 We're here to help this country.
00:43:24 It's unbelievable.
00:43:26 Five months in Saigon...
00:43:29 and my best friend
00:43:32 This will not look good
00:43:50 - You guys mind if I drive?
00:44:07 It's a simple rule. If the engine's
00:44:11 Never fails. You guys mind
00:44:15 If you attempt to deviate
00:44:21 Okay, everybody, let's play ball!
00:44:23 Go into conference.
00:44:25 - Okay, here we go.
00:44:29 Whoa! Headin' north!
00:44:31 Let's go! Was it a double
00:44:34 Wait a minute.
00:44:37 Thank you!
00:44:40 Whoa. A little conference here, Wilk.
00:44:43 This not like a real baseball. It's much
00:44:48 You got me there, Wilk, because--
00:44:51 And I gotta get on a plane,
00:44:55 - Thank you.
00:44:57 - Thank you all the same, and--
00:45:01 Okay. We gotta play, Wilk.
00:45:04 I want to turn in the ball to the--
00:45:06 - Okay. Let's take one more ball here.
00:45:09 - Not that one?
00:45:12 - Bear with me, okay?
00:45:14 - Anyway--
00:45:18 - Okay. Let's just play
00:45:21 - Okay.
00:45:23 Okay, take the ball with you,
00:45:26 - No.
00:45:28 - I'm-I'm-- I've no money. Sorry.
00:45:35 Whoa! Whoa!
00:45:37 Whoa! Whoa!
00:45:40 Yeah! Go!
00:45:44 He's not out till you have
00:45:47 Keep your eye on the fruit.
00:45:50 Okay, on the fruit,
00:45:52 - Go, go! Run, Minh! Run!
00:45:58 Keep go-- Keep going!
00:46:00 - She's actually goin' home.
00:46:05 - That's it. We'll all change sides.
00:46:10 - Yes, Wilkie!
00:46:14 - They twist and l'll twist
00:46:17 They shimmy and l'll shimmy
00:46:21 Well, they're out there
00:46:24 ln that warm California sun
00:46:27 Well, l'm goin'out West
00:46:32 Where the California girls
00:46:37 Where they walk
00:46:40 They twist
00:46:42 They shimmy
00:46:46 They fly
00:46:49 Well, they're out there
00:46:51 ln that warm California sun
00:47:00 Yeah, me too.
00:47:02 When you look like Goliath,
00:47:05 - You take care. Take care.
00:47:08 We had a great day.
00:47:11 Thank you.
00:47:14 Well, Mr Cronauer,
00:47:19 and we have learned a lot from you
00:47:23 - Thank you, Wilkie.
00:47:25 - Thank you.
00:47:33 - You guys ready to go?
00:47:40 Man, he's gonna say goodbye to
00:47:52 I want to say goodbye
00:47:58 To tell you...
00:48:00 thank you for being so kind.
00:48:04 So many things not happen
00:48:10 You so good person...
00:48:13 but I could not with you.
00:48:17 We are so different.
00:48:19 I say ''tomato.''
00:48:43 See you.
00:48:54 - Staggers the imagination.
00:48:57 - What a plus.
00:49:24 Left, right!
00:49:45 Three, four!
00:49:52 Left, left!
00:49:54 Left, left!
00:50:00 Left, left!
00:50:23 It was a pleasure making
00:50:27 - Cut that out, Garlick.
00:50:31 - Well, you carry on, Montesque.
00:50:35 Carry on. I like that. It makes me feel,
00:50:40 I've got something here
00:50:42 I want you to play this. It says
00:50:46 - I'll take care of it pronto, sir.
00:50:49 I requisitioned for a name change.
00:50:56 Well, I'll give you the old chuck
00:50:59 It's a stupid thing to do,
00:51:02 You take care.
00:51:04 Ed, your fly's open.
00:51:07 Made you look.
00:51:31 Good morning, Vietnam!
00:51:35 This is Eddie Garlick
00:51:38 Armed Forces Radio Saigon.
00:51:40 It's 1 629 hours here in Saigon,
00:51:45 But he left a farewell message
00:51:49 So without further ado,
00:51:53 Goodbye, Vietnam!
00:51:57 That's right, l'm history. l'm out of
00:52:01 Rollin', rollin', rollin'
00:52:04 Yeah, that's right.
00:52:07 And this one is brought to you
00:52:09 Remember the people who brought you
00:52:13 lf it's being done correctly,
00:52:17 ''l heard that. ''Oh, ho,
00:52:21 ''l'm here to make sure
00:52:26 Speaking of things controversial,
00:52:30 ''No, it's not a problem.
00:52:34 ''l don't know, Adrian. ''
00:52:37 ''Adrian, take care of yourself.
00:52:41 lf you're going to be dressing in
00:52:44 Thank you, Leo. Thanks for these.
00:52:47 ''They're ruby slippers, Adrian.
00:52:51 there's no place like home, '
00:52:54 l hope.