Grindhouse

en
00:00:27 They called him Machete.
00:00:30 Selling the harsh day for the hard one.
00:00:33 100 for ruffin.
00:00:36 Get in.
00:00:38 125 for accepting.
00:00:40 So which?
00:00:42 Have you ever killed anyone before?
00:00:45 As you may know
00:00:46 illegal aliens such as yourself
00:00:47 are being forced out of our country
00:00:49 at an alarming rate.
00:00:50 For the good of other people.
00:00:53 Our new senator must die.
00:00:56 And for that I will pay you $150,000.
00:01:00 Cash.
00:01:01 He was given an offer he couldn't refuse.
00:01:05 I cost the most.
00:01:08 Cause I'm the best there is.
00:01:18 Set up. Double crossed.
00:01:21 And left for dead.
00:01:23 I took a vow of peace.
00:01:25 And now you want me to help
00:01:29 Yes, bro.
00:01:31 I mean paltry.
00:01:34 So what I can do?
00:01:43 He knows the score.
00:01:46 Where are my wife and daughter?
00:01:49 He gets the women.
00:01:55 And he kills the bad guys.
00:02:00 You know that a mexican day-labor
00:02:03 is a goddam federal?
00:02:07 But they soon realize.
00:02:09 He's coming after us.
00:02:12 They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.
00:02:19 Action.
00:02:21 Suspence.
00:02:26 Emotion.
00:02:27 Please father, have mercy.
00:02:29 God has mercy, I don't.
00:02:33 If you're gonna hire Machete
00:02:37 You better make damn sure the bad guy
00:02:41 ... isn't you.
00:02:47 Machete.
00:02:50 Rated X.
00:02:53 Brought to you from your friends
00:06:34 The roofer is in the house.
00:06:36 God damn it, girls.
00:06:38 If you're gonna do that shit, do it on stage.
00:06:42 Smoking hot.
00:06:47 Cherry darling, I told you too
00:06:51 You can't be up there crying
00:06:54 You know what go-go dance is?
00:06:55 Useless talent No.12?
00:06:57 No. It's a happy dance.
00:06:59 You're up there and you dance happy.
00:07:05 I'm quitting.
00:07:06 You say that at least one night a week.
00:07:08 I mean it this time.
00:07:10 I need a dramatic change in my life.
00:07:14 I've always said you're funny.
00:07:16 But if you don't stop all that crying and shit
00:07:19 And I don't wanna fire your ass 'cause
00:07:21 Any girl leaving early
00:07:24 and have a bye-bye slip.
00:07:29 Here is my finger.
00:07:33 And here is my bye-bye slip.
00:08:01 Dick.. Fuck.
00:08:13 Ass-fag.
00:08:35 All right boys. Come on.
00:08:45 All right. All right.
00:08:48 You guys know how to draw up.
00:08:52 Wait here, Lieutenant.
00:08:55 I'll handle this.
00:09:00 Hey, Abby.
00:09:04 I can see you've had a spot of trouble, bro.
00:09:08 Would you like to tell me what happened?
00:09:11 They escaped.
00:09:14 All three.
00:09:17 Yeah. I don't know...
00:09:21 I'm sorry Romey but I just
00:09:25 And you know the rules.
00:09:28 I'm out. I swear, Abby, I'm..
00:09:32 Not so fast.
00:09:40 I also want your balls.
00:09:50 I'm really quite attached to them.
00:09:53 Oh, sweetheart.
00:09:54 I was really attached to my specimens.
00:09:57 Now they're out there
00:10:00 I can't do it Abby. Please..
00:10:07 Hey. What are you doing? Fuckers.
00:10:11 Listen. You don't need, Abby.
00:10:13 There's more.
00:10:16 Everything.
00:10:17 Fucking fuzzy.
00:10:20 I can get you more.
00:10:34 Pick this up please.
00:11:11 Where is the shit?
00:11:13 The shit's right there.
00:11:16 The deal is still good.
00:11:19 No. It's not.
00:11:23 Hell down on me.
00:11:26 Now I want all of it.
00:11:53 So can I get your brandered balls, Abby.
00:11:56 You're sucking that off?
00:11:57 So.
00:12:01 I ask you one more time.
00:12:04 Where's...
00:12:06 the...
00:12:09 ...shit?
00:12:11 Everywhere.
00:12:54 Ah, bulls.
00:13:38 Get that thing away from my pumps.
00:13:40 It's just overheating.
00:13:45 I need to get to town.
00:13:49 It's just a stripped radiator cab.
00:13:54 Water leaks when the heat's up.
00:13:58 No pressure.
00:14:03 Are you OK?
00:14:05 I'm just Cherry.
00:14:07 Wanna have a seat anywhere?
00:14:13 Here. Take this with you.
00:14:14 Ah, it's your good spring water.
00:14:16 Ain't nothing good about it.
00:14:19 I get it right there out of them.
00:14:22 Thanks... JT.
00:14:25 We're serving inside tonight.
00:14:27 Best barbecue in Texas.
00:14:29 I got to go.
00:14:31 Saving lives? Are you?
00:14:34 How did you know that?
00:14:44 Now that's a rump roast.
00:14:51 I couldn't get off work this week.
00:14:54 But you only have to stay till ten.
00:14:58 A friend of mine will be here before
00:15:00 I'm gonna eat your brains and
00:15:03 What did I tell you?
00:15:06 Didn't I tell you that?
00:15:11 There's a packed suitcase under his bed.
00:15:15 Give it to Tony to take with
00:15:23 I'll leave him watching TV.
00:15:26 But you need to be here in
00:15:30 Thank you.
00:15:34 Hey, what happened to your tooth?
00:15:38 Say a prayer for your old man.
00:15:42 No dead bodies for dada tonight.
00:15:45 No dead bodies for Daddy tonight.
00:15:47 Amen.
00:15:53 Who was that you were talking to?
00:15:57 She's on her way.
00:16:38 How's it going, JT?
00:16:41 Still open I see.
00:16:45 Free of charge.
00:16:51 What's so special about tonight?
00:16:53 Been open 25 years.
00:16:55 You're the second person
00:16:58 Who's the first?
00:17:00 Right there.
00:17:07 Must be passing through.
00:17:09 Seeking only strangers, I hear.
00:17:15 Oh. yeah. You sure do.
00:17:17 By the way don't choke on
00:17:28 Hello, Palomita.
00:17:33 I don't go by that name any more.
00:17:37 So
00:17:38 You will become that fancy doctor?
00:17:43 Never did.
00:17:47 Thought for sure you would.
00:17:51 Talked about it enough.
00:17:52 That's the problem with goals.
00:17:54 They become the thing you talk about
00:17:57 That's my jacket.
00:18:00 I looked for it for 2 weeks.
00:18:02 Yeah? How long did you look for me, Wray?
00:18:05 Only the jacket belonged to me, you didn't.
00:18:07 So..
00:18:10 What are you doing now?
00:18:13 I'm going to be a stand up comedian.
00:18:18 Really?
00:18:22 You're not funny.
00:18:25 That's what I have been
00:18:28 But they all say I'm hysterical.
00:18:30 But you are not.
00:18:32 There is a difference between being frank
00:18:36 ... and being dick.
00:18:39 Yeah. Well... It was really good
00:18:44 Ah.. What name do you go by now?
00:18:47 In case I wanna catch one of your shows.
00:18:50 Cherry.
00:18:52 Cherry Darling.
00:18:55 It sounds like a stripper.
00:18:57 No, it sounds like a go-go dancer.
00:19:05 You'll always be Palomita to me.
00:19:13 I need a ride.
00:19:17 What do you say, El Wray?
00:19:22 I'll give you a ride.
00:19:28 Goodbye, Bill.
00:19:29 Which means 'See you later' ?
00:19:30 Of course.
00:19:34 Hey. What's up, Doc?
00:19:37 Your lady's looking pretty
00:19:40 See if she could suck
00:19:42 I'm kidding.
00:19:44 Take a look at that shit.
00:19:46 What happened to your arm?
00:19:48 I got bit.
00:19:49 Bit... By what?
00:19:51 Well.. If I told you, you probably
00:19:55 It's some bacterium or something?
00:20:00 Can you just sew it up?
00:20:03 Normally, I would.
00:20:04 I'd even be doing something
00:20:07 My problem is this one doesn't bleed.
00:20:09 Oh, shit. Check this out.
00:20:11 When this was still a military hospital,
00:20:16 Chronic herpetic lesions.
00:20:19 When he urinated, it came out
00:20:21 Kind of like a fountain.
00:20:23 Ah, Jesus.
00:20:24 How did you treat it?
00:20:28 Fuck that, I was never in Iraq.
00:20:30 Good for you.
00:20:30 This shit they spread around
00:20:32 I swear to God I got some Iraqi eye-balls
00:20:34 a friend of mine brought back
00:20:36 Incredible.
00:20:39 Mustard gas does it to the eyes.
00:20:43 Spots fly you think?
00:20:45 Chronic viral astrut leason.
00:20:51 He's running a temperature of 105.
00:20:53 Is that bad?
00:20:55 Bad would be 108.
00:20:57 You could... have a seizure, go psychotic.
00:21:00 And probably die.
00:21:04 Say ahh.
00:21:05 Ugh! Jesus!
00:21:07 Nice. Black abscess tongue.
00:21:10 All abscesses should be drained. Period.
00:21:19 Wait. I'll try it.
00:21:22 Shut up, Joe.
00:21:34 Baby. Get the needles.
00:21:39 Right there.
00:21:42 Right now.
00:21:53 It's spreading.
00:21:56 When did you say you got this bite?
00:21:59 We gotta lose the arm, Joe.
00:22:01 Lose arm? What do you
00:22:03 It's spreading all the way
00:22:05 Now if we don't sever that arm now
00:22:07 We can't very well cut that off, can we?
00:22:09 Well shouldn't I get a second opinion?
00:22:12 Hi Joe.
00:22:15 I'm going to give you a very
00:22:18 So you don't feel anything
00:22:20 These are my friends.
00:22:23 My yellow friend
00:22:26 is just to take the sting off.
00:22:30 My blue friend
00:22:32 You'll barely feel.
00:22:33 That means my yellow friend
00:22:37 See how fast my friends work?
00:22:41 And after my red-headed friend
00:22:45 You'll never see me again.
00:22:54 We all react differently.
00:23:01 Now what?
00:23:02 Dedicated to our own Jungle Julia.
00:23:19 It's not the radiator.
00:23:43 What? Fucking pale.
00:24:03 Hey, hey!
00:24:05 Bastard.
00:24:21 Hey, stop.
00:24:24 Get off the fuckin' raoad, bitch.
00:24:38 No. Stop. Please.
00:25:05 What the hell was that?
00:25:09 People picking up roadkill.
00:25:11 What? Like an armadillo?
00:25:14 Deer.
00:25:16 There are a lot of hem around here.
00:25:19 You know I read a statistic that said
00:25:21 that the eating of venison
00:25:26 60 percent of that's from roadkill.
00:25:30 People eat roadkill?
00:25:32 If you are driving out here
00:25:34 And a deer darts out in front of you..
00:25:35 If you blink or brake or swerve..
00:25:39 Sure you'll just kill yourself.
00:25:41 So what do you do?
00:25:42 Pick them off. Just like this.
00:25:47 Unacceptable.
00:26:07 Cherry?
00:26:10 I thought you said if you saw a deer
00:26:14 That wasn't a deer.
00:26:53 Palomita.
00:26:58 Don't let her die on me, Block.
00:26:59 What we got?
00:27:00 Heavy contusions about the torso,
00:27:05 One severed limb.
00:27:08 Where is the leg?
00:27:09 Three 'psychos' attacked her.
00:27:12 I shot at them.
00:27:15 I never miss.
00:27:20 They took the leg with them.
00:27:33 You have to come with us Wray.
00:27:36 He has to sign her in.
00:27:38 Do what now?
00:27:39 If he's with her,
00:27:41 He'll fill this out after we talk. Let's go.
00:27:46 What were you doing with the rifle, Wray?
00:27:49 Nothing.
00:27:50 Just thinkin' about maybe doing
00:27:54 Come on, Wray.
00:27:55 You know you are not supposed
00:27:58 Here, I stick my neck out for you.
00:28:00 Now you've got a girl in your
00:28:04 A missing leg? It's now missing?
00:28:06 And here you're saying in front of everybody
00:28:08 that someone up and snathced it?
00:28:10 And that you shot at 'em with a gun
00:28:12 that you never should
00:28:14 And that now they're gone.
00:28:16 Sheriff, can we finish this
00:28:18 My thought exactly.
00:28:20 Dr. Block. Three fresh ones rolling in.
00:28:23 Christ, you're kidding.
00:28:25 Automobile accident off Highway 18.
00:28:27 DOA's? Get the lady to pick him up.
00:28:31 That's unsanitary, Doc.
00:28:34 It helps me monitor my state of calmness.
00:28:36 If you get worked up enough to crack it.
00:28:39 Fuck.
00:28:42 Then I'd know I was not calm.
00:28:50 Yeah. What do you say now, Doc?
00:28:53 Somebody call my wife.
00:28:58 It's JT, Sheriff.
00:29:00 JT. How is the barbecue business?
00:29:02 Ever since my bastard landlord
00:29:05 Well, I'm sorry to hear about that.
00:29:07 I wish there was something I could do.
00:29:09 Right now I ain't calling my brother.
00:29:12 What's the trouble?
00:29:16 I've got two delinquents been hanging
00:29:20 They won't purchase. They won't leave.
00:29:23 Oh never mind. Here they come.
00:29:24 You cook that meat at 250 degrees, don't you?
00:29:28 I don't remember.
00:29:30 You give me that recipe or I'll raise your
00:29:34 Brother, ain't no Texans ever gonna
00:29:36 That's a fact. He'd take it to his grave.
00:29:38 I could be bleeding like a
00:29:41 I could be dying in your arms,
00:29:44 Well, see you. Fuck that.
00:29:50 You gonna look?
00:30:02 You called for me?
00:30:04 I need for you to see this.
00:30:08 Looks like a no-brainer.
00:30:10 What does that mean?
00:30:11 No brain.
00:30:13 Scooped clean out of her skull.
00:30:16 Oh. I don't know what to say.
00:30:17 Dont' tell me.
00:30:21 Do you think?
00:30:23 Thank you, that'll be all.
00:30:39 Did you know she was back in town?
00:30:43 No.
00:30:46 I didn't.
00:30:52 What happened to her?
00:30:55 I don't know baby.
00:31:02 I thought you stopped seeing each other.
00:31:07 Oh yeah.
00:31:10 Yes, you have now. She's fucking dead.
00:31:14 I mean we stopped before.
00:31:23 I haven't talked to her in a while.
00:31:29 But you've written each other.
00:31:35 Here and there.
00:31:38 But nothing.
00:31:39 What are you doing?
00:31:42 Let me see your last three messages.
00:31:46 You have no right ...
00:31:49 I don't have a right?
00:31:54 Show it to me.
00:31:59 No.
00:32:02 Now that's just to take the sting off.
00:32:08 Show it to me.
00:32:09 No please.
00:32:11 Show it to me.
00:32:18 Now let's see how fast your friends work.
00:32:32 It's pretty fast.
00:32:38 Ah what do I know, my love?
00:32:40 Exactly.
00:32:42 That you're a cheating
00:32:45 lying
00:32:48 ... sack.
00:32:50 I didn't want to hurt you.
00:32:52 But you did.
00:32:55 Because..
00:32:57 You're insane.
00:33:01 And I was afraid.
00:33:04 Of what you might do. To me.
00:33:07 And to our son.
00:33:09 I'm the mother of your son.
00:33:17 And after this one
00:33:21 I'll never see you again.
00:33:37 Block.
00:33:38 What?
00:33:40 You've gotta see this.
00:33:43 I'll be right there.
00:33:55 Where the hell are the bodies?
00:33:57 That's what we wanted to show you.
00:33:59 They are gone.
00:34:02 They didn't just get up and walk out, did they?
00:34:52 What a fucker.
00:34:54 Somebody take care of this
00:34:57 What the hell is going on?
00:35:00 So I cuffed him.
00:35:01 The son of a bitch
00:35:05 Quit your hollering and get
00:35:07 I'm not exaggerating,
00:35:10 He bit my finger clean off.
00:35:12 Fucking shit.
00:35:14 Get him.
00:35:15 Book him.
00:35:16 Cause I'll fucking kill him if I have to do it.
00:35:18 Carlos. Go get him.
00:35:21 Wray.
00:35:22 You stay put.
00:35:45 Are you sure he is in there?
00:35:48 He was.
00:35:50 Motherfucker.
00:36:24 He's gone.
00:36:26 Broke out the window.
00:36:28 Where's my finger?
00:36:30 Found your ring.
00:36:32 Could be the same guy as
00:36:35 I didn't get a good look at mine.
00:36:41 Is that him over there?
00:37:36 Wray?
00:38:29 No. Don't touch him.
00:38:31 He is infected.
00:38:33 What?
00:38:35 Wray!
00:38:37 Drop the fucking gun.
00:38:45 Where the fuck do you think you're going?
00:38:47 I'm gonna go and get Cherry.
00:38:49 Fine.
00:38:50 But we're taking my car.
00:38:57 I'm riding with you.
00:39:00 Don't make any sudden moves.
00:39:15 Viral infections.
00:39:18 They came pouring in.
00:39:20 Some are rapidly developing
00:39:24 Highly contagious.
00:39:26 What do you think?
00:39:28 Self-preservation comes to mind.
00:39:31 Yeah. Just get the hell out of here.
00:39:35 First let me get my wife.
00:40:44 I love you, sweety.
00:40:46 There you go.
00:40:48 Come on. Come on. Open up. Yeah.
00:40:50 I want you to be around for a while.
00:40:53 Why don't you.. chekin' out that.. Khh.
00:40:57 Damn.
00:40:59 Mom.
00:41:02 You fart like a goddam pack mule.
00:41:06 I hate to do this to you, Earl.
00:41:10 The shit has hit the fan.
00:41:12 We need some guns and ammo.
00:41:17 I got you. I'll be there.
00:41:21 Gotta eat quick, sweetie.
00:42:12 Oh my God!
00:43:11 Hell is going on?
00:43:16 Are you gonna give me a gun?
00:43:17 Are you fucking kidding me?
00:44:26 Palomita.
00:44:32 Get up. We're leaving.
00:44:34 I can't walk.
00:44:35 So what?
00:44:36 Get up. Get up!
00:44:41 Motherfucker.
00:44:42 Look at me.
00:44:44 Look at me.
00:44:47 I was gonna be a stand up comedian.
00:44:49 Who's gonna laugh now?
00:44:51 Some of the best jokes are about cripples.
00:44:53 Let's go.
00:44:55 Would you stop crying over fucking...
00:44:57 ...spilt milk.
00:44:58 I have no leg.
00:45:10 Now you do.
00:45:11 What do you think?
00:45:17 You could carry me, Wray?
00:45:19 You never wanted that before.
00:45:22 Why start now.
00:45:44 Sheriff must have taken the others to JT's.
00:45:46 Get in.
00:45:53 God damn it. Wait for me.
00:46:06 My leg stuck with the door.
00:46:09 It's just wagging.
00:46:10 It's splintering.
00:46:11 You just leave it alone.
00:46:13 Why is this happening with me?
00:46:14 Just do me a favour right now.
00:46:17 Stay strong.
00:46:20 Stay?
00:46:23 Yeah baby.
00:46:24 Stay.
00:46:27 Okey. My name is Electra.
00:46:29 Fucking listen.
00:46:30 My name is Electra.
00:46:33 No. You're getting personal, Dada.
00:46:35 It's Berry.
00:46:36 No, I'm lovin ya.
00:46:38 No.
00:46:39 Is that Berry you want?
00:46:42 And from Electra and from Emilia.
00:46:43 Doesn't makes any fucking sense..
00:46:48 You can call me whatever the
00:46:55 Conio, chica.
00:46:56 You said 10.
00:46:58 We can't be watching your kid
00:47:00 Your friend never showed up
00:47:02 That's right.
00:47:04 Then start doing it.
00:47:13 Hurry. We're leaving.
00:47:17 Wait. My tarantula.
00:47:18 Forget. Let's go.
00:47:20 And my turtle.
00:47:22 And my scorpion.
00:47:24 And we're not octopuses.
00:47:27 Act upon it.
00:47:29 C'mon. Let's go.
00:47:37 Tony. What did I tell you?
00:47:39 You can't bring them all.
00:47:42 It's okay. They can live in the same tank.
00:47:45 What about my pocket-bike?
00:47:47 It's in the trunk.
00:47:50 Where do you think you're
00:48:14 Are you sure you're gonna do this?
00:48:17 Everybody grab a badge and a gun!
00:48:20 You're all deputies as
00:48:23 Except for you, Wray.
00:48:33 Don't die for me.
00:48:36 What have we got?
00:48:37 Something's wrong up there.
00:48:40 JT always comes out and greets.
00:48:42 Let's go.
00:48:46 Why don't just shoot yourselves?
00:48:49 Don't shoot each other.
00:48:51 But especially...
00:48:56 Don't shoot me.
00:49:04 JT?
00:49:13 God.
00:49:14 Get off him, Rusty.
00:49:20 God-damn, JT.
00:49:35 Barbecue?
00:49:37 Asshole.
00:49:41 Damn good sausage, JT.
00:49:43 Best in Texas.
00:49:45 I must have passed out
00:49:49 Nice shooting.
00:49:50 Everybody gather up supllies.
00:49:52 We head up to any.
00:50:18 I want you to open that for mommy.
00:50:24 Now take the gun.
00:50:27 Careful.
00:50:29 And if anyone comes to the door..
00:50:31 ... that isn't me
00:50:33 I want you to shoot them, okay?
00:50:36 I'm not kidding, Tony.
00:50:37 You shoot them.
00:50:39 Just like your video games.
00:50:41 You shoot them in the head.
00:50:44 What if it's Dad?
00:50:47 Expecially if it's your dad.
00:51:02 And be careful where you point that thing.
00:51:04 You'll blow your own face off.
00:51:05 I'll be right back.
00:51:08 I love you.
00:51:36 Hello, baby.
00:51:58 Look what you did to our son!
00:52:16 Goddam it.
00:52:19 Daddy.
00:52:23 Get your sorry ass in.
00:52:28 If it's escape vwhicles you want
00:52:30 Escape vehicles I got.
00:52:34 Watch that meat.
00:52:35 Meet my wife.
00:52:38 Jessy James custom dominator.
00:52:40 I made Jessy a plate of
00:52:42 Ha made this baby for me
00:52:45 Got anything that can transport more people?
00:52:50 Mustang.
00:52:51 This baby is chopped. Promanent.
00:52:53 Ain't got no bullbar,
00:52:56 No protection.
00:52:57 Nitrous injected 350 horsepower engine.
00:53:01 Who are you?
00:53:03 I mean really.
00:53:04 Wray's Wreckage?
00:53:06 That's what it says on your truck.
00:53:13 Are you a wrecker, Wray?
00:53:15 I'm nobody.
00:53:18 It's the easiest thing to remember.
00:53:22 So remember it.
00:53:31 Hey, you want some barbecue?
00:53:33 Best in Texas.
00:53:34 No thanks.
00:53:36 What's the matter?
00:53:38 Oh, I eat meat.
00:53:39 I also eat lots of shit.
00:53:42 See this?
00:53:44 What's that?
00:53:45 Shit eating grin.
00:53:47 You've got to be a comedian.
00:53:50 What do you think of the leg?
00:53:51 Your leg is funny.
00:53:55 How is your stump?
00:53:57 They knocked it out something fierce.
00:53:59 So I can't feel a thing.
00:54:02 This must be the real Bone Shack.
00:54:06 Old JT knows how to live.
00:54:09 Like fuck he does.
00:54:14 I like how you say fuck.
00:54:16 Dude.
00:54:19 Fuck me.
00:54:24 Oh, so now you're the comedian.
00:54:27 Go ahead.
00:54:29 That will be good for a laugh.
00:54:32 I highly doubt that.
00:54:40 That's my jacket.
00:54:42 Yes. I know.
00:54:44 I looked for it for two weeks.
00:54:47 Look.
00:54:48 You were being an unbelievable dick.
00:54:51 I was walking out on you.
00:54:53 I was cold. I took your fucking jacket.
00:54:57 So.
00:54:57 If you're gonna go on with your
00:55:00 about a fucking jacket then fucking take it
00:55:02 cause I'd rather fucking freeze
00:55:07 Did you find what was in the pocket?
00:55:09 Fuck now.
00:55:11 Look for it.
00:55:16 No. The other one.
00:55:27 I was gonna give it to you. But you left me.
00:55:31 And you took the jacket.
00:55:34 And I looked for it 2 weeks.
00:55:38 Read it.
00:55:47 Two against the world.
00:55:52 Remember that?
00:55:55 I never forgot it.
00:55:58 Why did you leave?
00:56:01 Because you didn't believe in us.
00:56:03 Or in me.
00:57:32 I'm sorry.
00:57:33 Dumbass.
00:57:39 Come on.
00:57:40 Move that! Come on.
00:57:49 Are you all right?
00:58:00 What did I tell you, Tony?
00:58:04 Don't point the gun at yourself.
00:58:07 Didn't I tell you that?
00:58:10 Thank you for telling me about.
00:58:13 You know.
00:58:14 Don't mention it.
00:58:16 That's an order.
00:58:17 If I had known that you were...
00:58:22 El Wray
00:58:24 I wouldn't have given you such a hard time.
00:58:26 Didn't mean to be a prick about it.
00:58:28 Need to know basis, that kind of shit.
00:58:32 Take this.
00:58:35 Do what you do best.
00:58:39 No. You're not.
00:58:41 Don't give him the gun.
00:58:42 Give him that gun, Tolo.
00:58:46 Give him that gun.
00:58:49 Give him all the guns.
00:59:08 That boy's got the devil in him.
00:59:13 Get to fight. Come on.
00:59:15 Get to our vehicles.
00:59:18 Everyone behind me.
00:59:31 Outside now.
00:59:52 God damn you!
01:00:03 Everybody back inside.
01:00:14 You, Skip!
01:00:15 Front and center.
01:00:17 Go upfront.
01:00:20 We need it to transport the other survivors.
01:00:23 You're fucking crazy?
01:00:25 I'll cover you.
01:00:28 I never miss.
01:00:29 Come on, Skip.
01:00:31 It's go go.
01:00:33 Not cry cry.
01:00:36 Cherry!
01:00:47 Oh, children.
01:01:36 JT.
01:01:38 You take whoever you can
01:01:39 Everyone else on board.
01:01:41 Skip, grab the twins.
01:01:43 You take the chopper.
01:01:45 I need someone else to drive my truck.
01:01:50 You're bleeding like a stuck pig.
01:01:52 If your vision's blurred, you're on your last flight.
01:01:54 Anything else?
01:01:56 Don't wreck it.
01:02:00 It ain't no barbecue without coleslaw.
01:02:02 Take this.
01:02:04 Fuckin' cool.
01:02:12 I can take care of myself.
01:02:15 Bye, Daddy.
01:02:18 You remember how to ride a bike?
01:02:19 Useless talent number 32.
01:02:22 Good.
01:02:23 Anyone else have a car?
01:02:30 Are you sure you're okey driving this van?
01:02:32 Hell yeah.
01:02:37 Dakota!
01:02:42 Your engine is shot you've
01:02:45 But it's got his pocket-bike in the trunk.
01:02:48 Is it fast?
01:02:52 You go with her.
01:02:55 I'm Cherry.
01:02:57 You sure are.
01:02:59 Move out.
01:03:01 Damn machine.
01:03:40 Goddammit!
01:04:19 Sheriff?
01:04:20 How much ammo we got?
01:04:24 Not enough.
01:04:38 Don't shoot.
01:04:50 All survivors gotta come with us.
01:04:53 Especially you.
01:04:57 El Wray.
01:04:58 I don't go by that name anymore.
01:05:15 It's okey.
01:05:18 We're here in quarantine with
01:05:31 Where is here?
01:05:34 Field Army Base.
01:05:37 El Wray?
01:05:40 That you?
01:05:42 He's with them.
01:05:45 I'm a scientist.
01:05:47 And a businessman.
01:05:49 Not military.
01:05:50 Princess wise is gonna tell us
01:05:55 They are stealing biochemical weapons.
01:05:57 DC2?
01:05:59 Also known as Project Terror.
01:06:02 Designed to take out an entire populace
01:06:06 And you were supplying it to them?
01:06:09 So why'd they shut you out?
01:06:10 They've found my supply.
01:06:12 It's under our feet.
01:06:14 Ten storeys down.
01:06:16 The only treatment is a regimented
01:06:19 Delays the negative effects.
01:06:21 They need it.
01:06:23 Like a drug.
01:06:25 Correct.
01:06:26 But we found that a small percentage
01:06:30 And within this small percentage lies a cure.
01:06:32 What do you wanna do?
01:06:37 Mexico.
01:06:39 Put our backs against the ocean.
01:06:41 And defend ourselves from there.
01:06:42 No. We have to get back to my lab.
01:06:44 This infection will spread all over the world.
01:06:46 To every man, woman and child...
01:06:48 Unless I finish my antidote.
01:06:51 You have an antidote?
01:07:00 You.
01:07:02 You.
01:07:02 Come with us.
01:07:05 Move it.
01:07:25 Do you like Ava Gardner?
01:07:28 Sorry?
01:07:34 Ava Gardner.
01:07:35 Do you like her?
01:07:38 Yeah, I guess.
01:07:40 I'm just thinking that you ...
01:07:42 ... kinda look like Ava Gardner a little bit.
01:07:52 You've got something you
01:07:55 I have nothing to say to you.
01:07:57 You've nothing to say huh?
01:07:59 Cause I coulda swear you just give
01:08:03 You wanna say Fuck You to me?
01:08:05 Not at this moment.
01:08:10 You know what this is?
01:08:13 A gun?
01:08:14 It's simplicity itself.
01:08:17 You see you point it at what you want to die.
01:08:20 And you pull the little trigger here.
01:08:23 And a little bullet comes out here.
01:08:26 And the bullet hits you right there.
01:08:30 And you know what?
01:08:33 You don't look like Ava Gardner no more.
01:08:40 Don't taunt me, tramp.
01:08:43 I am not one to be taunted.
01:08:46 You got it?
01:08:50 Let me hear you say, " I got it. "
01:08:52 I got it.
01:08:54 You're damn more better.
01:09:17 Salt.
01:09:18 Get it. I figured out it's salt.
01:09:19 Blood is salty.
01:09:21 That's all my sauce needed which is little more salt.
01:09:24 Just needed a little thickening agent.
01:09:27 What are you doing JT?
01:09:28 That's all I got to do to put a
01:09:30 To do the same goddamn thing that blood did.
01:09:32 I'm telling you, my brothers.
01:09:35 Don't do nothing stupid, JT.
01:09:37 It's already got my sweat. It's got my tears.
01:09:43 Drop the gun.
01:09:44 JT?
01:09:46 Do it now.
01:09:48 Don't shoot.
01:09:50 JT you all right?
01:10:00 He's all right, bro.
01:10:02 God damn but I'm not all right at all, brother.
01:10:04 Not at all.
01:10:05 Wait here.
01:10:08 I sure will.
01:10:12 Goddam sauce.
01:10:21 Women in cages.
01:10:24 See them in action.
01:10:27 See them in love.
01:10:29 See them in terror.
01:10:32 White skin on the black market.
01:10:34 Soft flash for hard cash.
01:10:37 Women in cages.
01:10:40 I'm gonna get my dick wet.
01:10:42 She's got one leg.
01:10:44 Easier access.
01:10:48 Good point.
01:10:57 Get the rest of the shit upsters
01:11:14 Get Lewis down here.
01:11:18 He's getting his dick wet, Sir.
01:11:19 Get him the fuck down here now.
01:11:32 Lewis.
01:11:34 Listen.
01:11:50 Where are my men?
01:11:52 I've got several right here.
01:11:55 What the fuck is this?
01:11:58 Their balls, sweetheart.
01:12:03 Come on. Get out of here
01:12:06 Let us go.
01:12:08 Because I earned it.
01:12:10 How you figure that?
01:12:11 You want the story?
01:12:12 I spin it for you quick.
01:12:14 Turmoil in some nasty caves on the Afghan border.
01:12:17 Me and my men walking around
01:12:20 Our balls in or throats.
01:12:22 Looking for America's most wanted.
01:12:24 Bin Laden
01:12:25 For once I ran towards right on the money.
01:12:28 I come around a corner.
01:12:29 Bam. There he is looking
01:12:31 Wait.
01:12:32 You killed Bin Laden?
01:12:35 I put two in his heart.
01:12:37 One in his computer.
01:12:38 So that was you.
01:12:40 Yeah.
01:12:42 That was me.
01:12:48 He wasn't supposed to be there.
01:12:50 We weren't supposed to be there.
01:12:51 And I sure as fuck wasn't supposed
01:12:55 So instead of a chestful of medals
01:12:59 No cure.
01:13:01 There is none till we find
01:13:03 ... willing to sell us batches of this shit.
01:13:06 Science comes first.
01:13:09 Then you realized if you could infect
01:13:12 and experiment on its survivals
01:13:15 You'd find a cure.
01:13:17 I swore to my men that I'd do everything
01:13:22 That's what I intend to do, Wray.
01:13:26 Understand...
01:13:29 ... I never had a choice.
01:13:34 Neither do I, sir.
01:13:38 God bless you and your service to this country.
01:13:47 Are you a doctor?
01:13:51 I was earlier tonight.
01:13:55 I always wanted to be a doctor.
01:13:57 Instead, I can do this.
01:14:03 Ah, useless talent No. 66.
01:14:10 I'm very pliable.
01:14:11 A girlfriend of mine had a theory.
01:14:14 She said at some point in your life
01:14:17 You find a use for every useless
01:14:21 It's like connecting the dots.
01:14:23 I'm not that optimistic.
01:14:25 I feel like I'm sinking
01:14:29 She'd say
01:14:31 When you're stuck in that spiral
01:14:34 You reach up.
01:14:36 What if there's nothing up there.
01:14:40 Just reach up.
01:14:44 You're a dancer.
01:14:45 I was earlier tonight.
01:14:48 Well, I'm pulling you out of retirement.
01:14:57 I'm starting the entertainement, baby.
01:15:01 Radio.
01:15:04 Well, baby. Now.
01:15:14 That's what I'm talking about.
01:15:20 Keep dancing.
01:15:24 I have seen me some crazy ass shit in my day.
01:15:29 But I ain't never seen me a one-legged stripper.
01:15:33 I've seen me a stripper with one breast.
01:15:35 And I've seen me a stripper with twelve toes.
01:15:38 And I've seen me a stripper with no brains at all.
01:15:41 But I ain't never seen me a one-legged stripper.
01:15:44 And I'll bet them rock.
01:15:47 Dance bitch!
01:15:51 Pick a leg.
01:15:53 Break it off.
01:16:05 Dance for me, motherfucker.
01:16:21 You thought it was pretty funny, didn't you?
01:16:23 Actually, yes.
01:16:26 You gave me some wood?
01:16:28 Now I'm gonna give you some...
01:16:31 ... fucking wood.
01:16:46 The Gas! You need your gas!
01:16:48 Fucking gas. Fuck it!
01:16:50 I'm just gonna have to make this quick.
01:17:07 Where did you get that?
01:17:09 Useless talent No. 37.
01:17:37 I broke my leg.
01:17:41 I made you something.
01:17:45 I do believe in you.
01:17:47 I always have.
01:17:49 I believe that you can be better.
01:17:52 You deserve better.
01:17:54 Even better than me.
01:17:57 Right now..
01:17:58 I need you to become..
01:18:01 Who you were meant to be.
01:18:04 Stand.
01:18:11 One stuck here.
01:18:19 Open that door, will you baby?
01:18:50 We've destroyed most of the tanks.
01:18:53 Any that are left we'll get
01:18:55 There are two helicopters.
01:18:58 Big enough to take all of us.
01:19:01 Who can fly?
01:19:05 Can anyone else fly a helicopter?
01:19:08 I can fly, but...
01:19:12 Okey. Cool. I'll fly.
01:19:23 I think we're gonna stay here, Wray.
01:19:26 Take care of this for me then, sheriff.
01:19:29 With pleasure.
01:19:31 Two minutes.
01:19:33 Brother's a good man, JT.
01:19:35 Best in Texas.
01:19:40 I'm coming.
01:19:45 No. The other way.
01:19:50 No.
01:19:51 The other way.
01:20:40 The helicopters are on the
01:20:49 We make a run for it.
01:20:50 No. If we all get killed,
01:20:54 Don't you get it?
01:20:56 We're the antidote.
01:20:58 Was there another way around?
01:21:00 Wait here.
01:21:27 I suppose there are any
01:21:31 I think there is no.
01:21:35 We have to get over that wall.
01:21:40 I was thinking we could build us a new place.
01:21:43 Right there where the old one was.
01:21:46 You cook. I work the back.
01:21:51 You don't make that rent so goddamn high.
01:21:54 Share the recipe.
01:21:56 We'll share the rent.
01:22:03 Start at 250 degrees.
01:22:08 I knew it.
01:22:10 For how long?
01:22:13 Twelve pounds.
01:22:15 Twelve hours.
01:22:16 Wrapped in tinfoil, right?
01:22:18 I don't use no goddamn foil.
01:22:20 Damn.
01:22:22 Tomatos?
01:22:25 Canned.
01:22:26 No shit?
01:22:28 Score me some?
01:22:31 Cause we're brothers.
01:22:34 Thank you for this.
01:22:36 You just remember.
01:22:38 You gotta take this recipe to your grave.
01:22:42 I think I can goddamn guarantee that.
01:23:11 That's our cue.
01:23:15 Cherry, darling.
01:23:17 Follow you.
01:23:50 Let's go.
01:25:00 Wray!
01:25:04 Come on now, Wray.
01:25:08 Okay.
01:25:09 Can you do that? Cause we're leaving.
01:25:36 They told me I'd find you here.
01:25:42 I was beginning to lose hope.
01:25:45 I'm sorry.
01:25:47 But I lied.
01:25:52 I did want to hurt you.
01:25:57 My turn.
01:26:09 No more dead bodies for Daddy tonight.
01:26:14 Never liked that son of a btich.
01:26:19 Was as useless as a pecker on a pope.
01:26:29 Don't touch anything.
01:26:32 He said not to touch anything.
01:26:36 Shut up.
01:26:37 Sit down and don't fucking touch anything.
01:26:46 Everybody sit down.
01:27:11 Go. Leave me.
01:27:12 I am not leaving you here like this.
01:27:15 Motherfuckers around here eat roadkill.
01:27:20 You see?
01:27:21 I'm funny.
01:27:23 I made you laugh.
01:27:25 Go to the ocean.
01:27:26 Put your backs to it,
01:27:30 I'm not leaving you Wray.
01:27:33 Two against the world.
01:27:37 Two will be.
01:27:40 I promise.
01:27:42 I never miss.
01:27:45 Don't worry, baby.
01:27:48 You'll find your way.
01:29:09 It's like you said it would be, Wray.
01:29:13 I'm like you said I would be.
01:29:16 I find the lost.
01:29:18 The weary.
01:29:21 Those who have no hope.
01:29:23 I find them.
01:29:25 And I lead them.
01:29:27 To a land we've made for ourselves.
01:29:31 To a land by the sea.
01:30:08 It's beautiful.
01:30:10 She's beautiful.
01:30:14 I wish you could see us.
01:30:17 Us two.
01:30:19 It's like you said it would be.
01:30:22 Two against the world baby.
01:30:25 Two against the world.
01:30:51 This film is a brilliant achievement in motion picture history.
01:30:55 Finally, the truth about Hitler's diabolical plans
01:31:02 Werewolf Women of the S.S.
01:31:05 Welcome to Death Camp 13.
01:31:08 Home of the Nazis' diabolical plan.
01:31:10 To create an army of super werewolf soldiers.
01:31:14 This project, its failure will be your demise...
01:31:17 ...and the end of Germany, Borman.
01:31:21 You have been chosen.
01:31:24 Rejoice.
01:31:27 They have found the perfect solution.
01:31:29 The She-Devils of Belzac.
01:31:35 Can they alone supply the blood
01:31:41 or with the pride of Germany fall into ruin?
01:31:44 This is my project.
01:31:46 We are now in total control of your whoop.
01:32:01 Featuring Udo Kier
01:32:03 Sheri Moon Zombie
01:32:04 Tom Towles... etc.
01:33:04 If you..
01:33:06 are thinking
01:33:08 of going
01:33:10 into
01:33:12 this house
01:33:17 If you ...
01:33:19 are thinking
01:33:21 of opening
01:33:23 this door
01:33:29 If you...
01:33:30 are thinking
01:33:32 of checking out
01:33:35 the basement
01:33:42 Don't look behind.
01:33:44 Don't look in there.
01:33:46 Don't look up.
01:33:49 Don't look anywhere.
01:33:53 Don't scream for help.
01:33:59 Don't even breathe.
01:34:10 Timing & Text by Bodza
01:34:15 If you are thinking of seeing this film alone.
01:34:49 In the town of Plymoth, Massachusetts
01:34:51 The 4th Thursday in November
01:34:57 The table is set.
01:35:00 The festivities have begun.
01:35:03 For the uninvited guests to arrive.
00:00:17 Prepare to have the stuffing scared out of you!
00:00:27 In the town of Plymoth, Massachusetts...
00:00:29 The 4th Thursday in November
00:00:36 The table is set.
00:00:38 The festivities have begun.
00:00:41 For the uninvited guest has arrived.
00:00:44 And this year there will be...
00:00:46 ... no left-overs.
00:01:16 White meat.
00:01:17 Dark meat.
00:01:18 All will be carved.
00:01:26 Come on Judy. How about it?
00:01:31 Happy Thanksgiving, baby.
00:01:48 Cool it, Judy.
00:01:50 We're safe.
00:01:52 Bobby's here.
00:02:06 I'ts blood.
00:02:10 Son of a bitch.
00:02:13 Arrive hungry.
00:02:14 Happy Thanksgiving, Grandma.
00:02:22 From director Eli Roth.
00:02:26 You'll come home for the holidays
00:02:30 This February.
00:02:38 Get more out of life.
00:02:40 Go out to a movie.
00:05:36 Hold on, I gotta come up!
00:05:37 I gotta take the world's biggest fuckin' piss!
00:05:40 We can't be late!
00:05:42 We won't!
00:06:07 Who's holding?
00:06:10 We were kinda hoping you were.
00:06:11 Yeah, how are you not holding?
00:06:13 Jesus Christ, Shanna.
00:06:14 It's not my fucking job to supply you
00:06:17 Ah. Whoa Whoa, little lady.
00:06:19 You're getting angry kinda quick, don'tcha think?
00:06:22 I was just teasing you.
00:06:24 It just would be nice if ya'll
00:06:27 And surprise me every once
00:06:30 Okey, mean girl in a high scool movie.
00:06:34 All right. C'mon, guys, don't fight,
00:06:37 One, it's not about the money.
00:06:39 It's about the pain in the ass of scoring,
00:06:41 And two, we're not really fighting.
00:06:43 Arlene, you've forgotten
00:06:47 That wasn't a fight.
00:06:48 That was Julia acting like a grumpy bitch
00:06:51 And me calling her on it and
00:06:55 Ah. Billboard.
00:07:00 Okay, is Christian Simonson going to be there?
00:07:03 You bet your ass he is.
00:07:07 He's got a big thing for Julia.
00:07:09 If he had a big thing for me,
00:07:11 As opposed to disappearing for six months.
00:07:13 And he'd get his ass down
00:07:15 And on my birthday he'd give me a fucking phone call.
00:07:18 But other than that, he's putty in my hands.
00:07:21 So what's the plan, man?
00:07:22 Margaritas and Mexican food at Guero's.
00:07:24 Touch base with Chris and Jessie.
00:07:25 Tell them about later
00:07:29 Those other guys will be waiting for us
00:07:32 Oh shit.
00:07:33 Speaking of which?
00:07:35 What happened with you and Nate last night?
00:07:37 Well you know not much.
00:07:40 I mean if you don't bust their balls a little bit
00:07:43 Okay. We're pretty clear
00:07:45 How abouut enlightening us on
00:07:48 Nothing to write home about.
00:07:50 We just made out on the couch
00:07:52 Dressed, half-dressed or naked?
00:07:54 Dressed. I said we made out.
00:07:55 We didn't do "the thing".
00:07:57 Excuse me for living but what is "the thing"?
00:08:00 You know it's everything but.
00:08:02 They call that "the thing"?
00:08:04 I call it "the thing".
00:08:06 Do guys like "the thing"?
00:08:07 They like it better than no-thing.
00:08:10 Yeah sure.
00:08:11 Oh yeah, I wanna get back to what it is you did do.
00:08:14 So you're making out
00:08:16 Correct.
00:08:17 His or the one in your hotel room?
00:08:18 What am I stupid over here?
00:08:19 Mine.
00:08:20 Were you making out sitting up
00:08:22 We started sitting up,
00:08:25 Humm. The plot thickens, who was on top?
00:08:28 I was straddling him.
00:08:30 So what about tonight?
00:08:33 I mean I like Nate.
00:08:36 But it ain't a done deal.
00:08:37 Yeah, fuck Nate.
00:08:38 I mean he's cute an all, but Jessie
00:08:41 Jessie Letterman the Austin director
00:08:44 He's a good friend.
00:08:45 Maybe they can bring some pot.
00:08:46 Fuck that. No.
00:08:48 I don't want to be either,
00:08:51 or B, dependent on their ass.
00:08:52 If we don't score ourselves...
00:08:53 ... we're gonna be stuck
00:08:56 Try Lanna-Frank.
00:08:58 Best idea you've had all day.
00:08:59 Okay.
00:09:00 That's your last billboard before Guero's.
00:09:03 Oh c'mon, give me a break.
00:09:04 Oh c'mon, my ass.
00:09:06 We said every time.
00:10:02 You wanna join us?
00:10:03 ...for a second, but... I'm with some frineds.
00:10:07 So you must... must be this...
00:10:09 You must be the infamous Butterfly.
00:10:13 She don't know nothing about it.
00:10:15 Know about what?
00:10:17 Tell me what.
00:10:18 Yeah, now thanks to you
00:10:21 Cut the shit.
00:10:23 I said a little something about you in the air today.
00:10:25 Julia what the fuck did
00:10:28 All I said was I had a sexy
00:10:31 Who's in from out of town
00:10:33 And we will be going out
00:10:36 And if they were out on the town,
00:10:39 And I described you.
00:10:40 And I said that if they spotted
00:10:44 If they'd do something,
00:10:46 Okay. Now Julia I'm serious.
00:10:48 And what did you say I'd do.
00:10:50 Anywho, I could explain what I said,
00:10:54 ... or Marcy over here, who is an incredible
00:11:00 I think will give you a better idea
00:11:04 Okay. So just tell me your way.
00:11:06 So we'll act it out with Marcy?
00:11:07 Sure.
00:11:08 Okay, give Marcy your drink.
00:11:10 Thank you.
00:11:11 Okay. So...
00:11:13 You're in a club or a bar.
00:11:15 And Marcy's a kinda cute,
00:11:18 or better be fuckin' hysterically
00:11:21 ...who you could fuck.
00:11:23 Got it.
00:11:24 Okay. Marcy, take it.
00:11:35 Howdy.
00:11:36 Hi there.
00:11:39 Excuse me, but your name
00:11:43 Yes it is, and it seems
00:11:48 Barry.
00:11:50 You all getting me hot.
00:11:56 So is the Butterfly your real name?
00:12:00 Yes it is.
00:12:02 How did you know my name, Barry?
00:12:04 I listened to Jungle Julia's show this morning.
00:12:07 Oh you did, did you?
00:12:08 Oh, yeah. I listen to her show every morning.
00:12:11 Oh you do, do you?
00:12:12 Yeah, she's like the coolest lady in town.
00:12:15 Don't you think she's got a big ass?
00:12:18 No, man.
00:12:20 I like her ass that way.
00:12:22 She's got a black girls ass.
00:12:24 Well that's what she always says,
00:12:26 ... she doesn't really have a black girls ass.
00:12:29 She's got a big ass.
00:12:30 Okay, what the fuck are you doing?
00:12:32 Oh, look who wants to get to the point all of a sudden.
00:12:34 Okay, we'll get to the point.
00:12:35 But for your information, skinny-bitch,
00:12:37 Black men and a whole lot of mother fucking white
00:12:43 I don't wear their teeth marks on my butt for nothing.
00:12:46 All right. If you're not gonna buy me
00:12:51 So Butterfly..
00:12:53 Can I buy you a drink?
00:12:54 I'd love one.
00:12:55 What can I get you?
00:12:57 I take a margarita.
00:13:00 Here you go.
00:13:02 So after they buy you a drink.
00:13:04 When they their glass to toast...
00:13:07 ... they look you dead in the eye
00:13:09 ... and repeat this poem.
00:13:12 "The woods are lovely
00:13:14 dark and deep
00:13:16 And I have promises to keep
00:13:18 And miles to go before I sleep".
00:13:21 Did you hear me Butterfly?
00:13:23 Miles to go before you sleep.
00:13:26 And then...
00:13:28 ... if they say that
00:13:31 You gotta give him a lap dance.
00:13:34 If they call you Butterfly, buy you a drink,
00:13:36 ... you'll have to give him a lap dance.
00:13:38 That's bullshit.
00:13:40 Look, you can do it or not.
00:13:41 But if you don't, everybody in Austin's
00:13:44 And I don't think you want everybody in
00:13:47 I ain't givin' nobody no lap dance
00:13:50 Look.
00:13:51 You don't have to do it
00:13:53 I said you'll do it for the first guy
00:13:56 Some geek comes over trying to be cool...
00:13:58 Just tell him you already did it
00:14:01 No harm, no faul,
00:14:05 But maybe a little later in the evening...
00:14:08 You've had a few drinks.
00:14:11 You're safe with your girls.
00:14:13 Then some kinda cute,
00:14:16 hysterically funny, but not funny
00:14:20 Then maybe you did it earlier...
00:14:22 ... maybe you didn't.
00:15:38 Any dead soldiers here?
00:15:41 Thank you.
00:15:44 Where the hell is Lanna-Frank?
00:15:45 That's a good fucking question.
00:15:59 Lanna-Frank?
00:16:01 Where are you?
00:16:04 Well come over already,
00:16:08 Shit. Hold on!
00:16:22 So where are you?
00:16:25 Come over already,
00:16:28 No, we're not coming over there.
00:16:30 You come over here
00:16:33 So is it Shauna and the girls at
00:16:36 Shauna?
00:16:38 Fuck I...
00:16:39 Now there is one thing
00:16:43 whose name is Shanna,
00:16:46 We all hate the name Shauna.
00:16:47 And we really hate it
00:17:27 Just remember.
00:17:28 It's Shanna Banana, not Shauna Banuna.
00:18:04 Okey, Warren's sending over shots.
00:18:07 And you know the house rule.
00:18:09 If he sends over shots,
00:18:11 Why?
00:18:12 Them's the Rules, baby.
00:18:14 Warren says it, we do it.
00:18:15 I love that philosophy.
00:18:17 Warren says it, we do it.
00:18:20 So let's do it.
00:18:22 What is it?
00:18:23 Shot first. Questions later.
00:18:25 Here we go. Post time.
00:18:37 Is that a tasted marriage
00:18:41 What the fuck is it?
00:18:42 Chartreuse.
00:18:44 The only liquor so good they
00:18:49 Who's there for dose Chartreuse?
00:18:53 I'm going out for a smoke.
00:18:55 Okay-dokey.
00:18:57 Blow up the joint.
00:19:12 Drinks. What can I get you?
00:19:13 Shanna Banana?
00:19:15 Another bigass long island ice tea.
00:19:17 Bombay Saphire and tonic. No ice.
00:19:20 Oh, boy.
00:19:43 Oh wait, Punky.
00:19:45 One of the lights is off in the parking lot.
00:19:47 Flip it.
00:20:50 Now look.
00:20:51 You can't look like you're trying to get her outta
00:20:54 But you gotta get her outta here
00:20:57 What's the point? They're going
00:20:59 at Lake L.B.J. and it's no guys.
00:21:01 Absolutely no guys.
00:21:03 So after we bring the girls drinks...
00:21:05 ... in fairly rapid order, but not obvious
00:21:09 We oorder two more rounds of shots.
00:21:11 She ain't gonna fall for that.
00:21:13 We'll be very convincing.
00:21:16 And now's the time to turn up the volume.
00:21:19 We go to Jager shots.
00:21:20 Man, they drink Jager shots?
00:21:23 Dude, as long as a guy's buying the booze,
00:21:27 C'mon, we can at least get one shot of
00:21:29 After that, we'll see if they
00:21:32 You never know.
00:21:33 That could be the shit that
00:21:35 Then all of a sudden no guys at the lake house
00:21:37 Turns into a couple of guys at the lake house.
00:21:39 My point exactly.
00:21:45 Check it out!
00:21:51 Jesus.
00:21:55 Dude, fucking cut himself
00:22:31 And where did you two dissapear to?
00:22:33 I had to get something out of the car
00:22:34 And Nate was gentlemanly enough
00:22:38 Ah. Good for you, Nate.
00:22:40 See that pretty girl standing
00:22:45 Who, the dirty hippy?
00:22:46 Meow. She's not a hippy.
00:22:48 She might as well be a hippy.
00:22:51 Thank you, Tim boy.
00:22:54 Well.
00:22:55 Do you know what just happened to her?
00:22:56 No, but I know she's a skinny
00:23:02 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:23:04 What about her?
00:23:08 Hey, Warren!
00:23:09 Is there anybody in this place you could
00:23:14 Fair lady.
00:23:16 Your chariot awaits.
00:23:18 You've been evesdropping?
00:23:19 There's evesdropping and
00:23:22 I think I belong in the latter category.
00:23:26 So, Icy Hot...
00:23:28 You offering me a ride home?
00:23:29 I'm offering you a lift.
00:23:31 If when I'm ready to leave, you are too.
00:23:33 And when are you thinking about leaving?
00:23:36 Truthfully, I'm not thinking about it.
00:23:38 But when I do..
00:23:39 You will be the first to know.
00:23:42 Will you be able to drive later?
00:23:44 I know looks can be deceiving.
00:23:47 But I'm a teetotaler.
00:23:49 I've been drinking club soda and lime all night.
00:23:52 Now I'm building up to my big drink.
00:23:53 Which is what?
00:23:55 Virgin Pina Colada.
00:23:58 Okay.
00:23:59 Why would someone who doesn't drink...
00:24:01 ...spend hours at a bar drinking water?
00:24:04 You know a bar offers all kinds
00:24:09 Really?
00:24:11 Like what?
00:24:14 Women.
00:24:16 Nacho Grande Platters.
00:24:18 The fellowship of
00:24:20 ... like Warren here.
00:24:22 Fair enough.
00:24:24 So what's your name, Icy?
00:24:27 Stuntman Mike.
00:24:29 Stuntman Mike's, your name?
00:24:32 You ask anybody.
00:24:35 Hey, Warren.
00:24:36 Who is this guy?
00:24:38 Stuntman Mike.
00:24:39 And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?
00:24:42 He's a stuntman.
00:24:45 Warren, six shots of Wild Turkey.
00:26:03 It's about fucking time.
00:26:09 Take a picture, it lasts longer.
00:26:12 What?
00:26:13 That table seems to keep getting your attention.
00:26:16 Is that the girl from the billboard outside?
00:26:19 Yep.
00:26:20 She sure is a striking looking one.
00:26:23 You got gin, tequila...
00:26:25 Look at that hair.
00:26:26 Lots of leaving conditioner.
00:26:29 Is that jealousy I detect?
00:26:31 Hardly.
00:26:33 But if you wanna get with Jungle Julia...
00:26:36 There's a really easy way to do that.
00:26:38 And what would that be?
00:26:40 You won't have to find her.
00:26:43 And you don't even wanna know
00:26:46 Enjoy it, cocksucker. You've earned it.
00:26:50 What did she ever do to you?
00:26:51 We went to school together.
00:26:54 That's what she did to me.
00:26:56 She was her hight right now at twelve.
00:26:58 She was a monster.
00:27:00 Half the guys she still fucks
00:27:02 she used to beat up
00:27:04 I see she used to beat you up and
00:27:07 That pituitary case, might have kicked
00:27:10 Sorry, I'm built like a girl - not a black man.
00:27:13 But i'd die before I ever gave
00:27:37 Hey
00:27:39 Are you famous or something?
00:27:41 Or something.
00:27:42 No really.
00:27:45 Hey, what do you do?
00:27:48 Really?
00:27:49 What I do is work my ass off to get my
00:27:53 Why that girl wanted a picture of me...
00:27:55 ... is because I'm a local D.J.
00:28:00 Wait a minute.
00:28:02 You got a billboard by "Bug Kahuna Burger" don'tcha?
00:28:06 Yeah.
00:28:08 I got one there, too.
00:28:16 Jungle Julia Lucai.
00:28:17 Stuntman Mike Mikki.
00:28:21 It's good to meet you, Stuntman Mike.
00:28:24 Now my friends and I are going to
00:28:26 Would you care for some?
00:28:28 Thank you, Julia.
00:28:29 But just the same...
00:28:31 No thanks.
00:28:32 Suit yourself.
00:28:50 Sorry.
00:28:50 Nothing.
00:28:54 Who the fuck was that?
00:29:00 You got some voucher here.
00:29:02 I asked him what movies you worked on.
00:29:04 No fucking clue.
00:29:06 Well technically, I don't know if he's
00:29:10 He shows me an episode of
00:29:14 He says it's him.
00:29:17 Do you know the show "The Virginian"?
00:29:21 There was another actor on
00:29:23 And I look like him a bit.
00:29:25 Obviously before I cut myself shaving.
00:29:29 I like it.
00:29:30 Well damn if you ain't so sweet you
00:29:35 Anyway, I did a lot of Virginians
00:29:38 And...
00:29:40 Then that show turned into
00:29:42 They brought on Lee Majors
00:29:45 From that point on I specialized
00:29:49 I did the whole third season of "Vegas".
00:29:52 I was Robert Urich's driving double.
00:29:54 And then Bob did another show,
00:29:57 And he brought me with
00:30:01 And after that...
00:30:07 Do you know any of these shows
00:30:11 Sorry. No.
00:30:12 No.
00:30:17 So how exactly...
00:30:19 ... does one become a stuntman,
00:30:24 Well in Hollywood...
00:30:25 Anybody fool enough to throw himself
00:30:28 ... can usually find somebody to pay him for it.
00:30:32 But really, I got into the business..
00:30:33 ...why most people get in the stunt business.
00:30:36 How's that?
00:30:37 My brother got me in it.
00:30:38 Who' your brother?
00:30:39 Stuntman Bob.
00:30:54 I'm ready to play.
00:30:57 You need to catch up with us.
00:30:58 Now the party can start.
00:31:01 ... anywho. I'm sorry.
00:31:03 You forgive me?
00:31:05 But you have to be real nice to me for
00:31:10 Promise.
00:31:11 Are you ready to go to the lake?
00:31:13 How about your little friend,
00:31:15 I thought no boys?
00:31:16 If you really want him to come,
00:31:18 So how about it, boys or just us girls?
00:31:21 Us girls.
00:31:22 Good idea.
00:31:26 Ladies?
00:31:31 Cheers, Butterfly.
00:31:36 The woods are lovely dark and deep
00:31:40 And I have promises to keep
00:31:41 And miles to go before I sleep.
00:31:45 Did you hear me, Butterfly?
00:31:48 Miles to go.
00:31:51 Before you sleep.
00:31:54 Sorry, Stuntman Burt.
00:31:57 Mike.
00:31:58 She already broke off that dance.
00:32:01 Is that true?
00:32:03 Did I miss my chance?
00:32:09 Do I frighten you?
00:32:16 Is it my scar?
00:32:19 It's your car.
00:32:22 Yeah, I know.
00:32:23 Sorry.
00:32:25 It's my mom's car.
00:32:30 Have you been following us?
00:32:32 No. But that's what I love
00:32:34 It's just so damn small.
00:32:36 You've seen this guy before?
00:32:38 I saw him outside of Guero's.
00:32:39 I saw you outside of Guero's, too.
00:32:43 You saw my car. I saw your legs.
00:32:45 Now look. I ain't stalking y'all, but
00:32:49 So you really weren't following us?
00:32:51 I'm not following you, Butterfly.
00:32:52 I just ...
00:32:54 ... got lucky.
00:32:57 So...
00:32:59 How about that lap dance?
00:33:01 Sorry. It was a one time only offer,
00:33:03 and she did earlier this evening at Antoine's.
00:33:07 No she didn't.
00:33:08 How do you know?
00:33:09 I'm good that way.
00:33:12 And you look a little touchéd.
00:33:14 What's touchéd?
00:33:15 Wounded, slightly.
00:33:16 Why should I be wounded?
00:33:18 Because you expected guys to be
00:33:21 But from your look
00:33:25 That kinda hurt your feelings
00:33:29 There are few things as fetching
00:33:38 So...
00:33:41 How about that lap dance?
00:33:45 I think I'm gonna have to give
00:33:51 Well since you're leaving
00:33:53 That rain check will be worthless.
00:33:57 But that's okay.
00:34:00 I understand if I make you uncomfortable.
00:34:03 You're still a nice girl.
00:34:06 And I still like you.
00:34:09 But I must warn you of something.
00:34:12 You know how people say...
00:34:14 "You're okay in my book"
00:34:16 Or...
00:34:17 "In my book that's no good"
00:34:20 Well, I actually have...
00:34:23 ... a book.
00:34:25 And everybody I ever meet goes in this book.
00:34:29 And now I've met you,
00:34:35 Except...
00:34:37 I'm afraid I...
00:34:38 ... must file you
00:34:41 ... under
00:34:43 ... chicken shit.
00:34:45 And what if I did it?
00:34:47 Well, I definitely couldn't file you under
00:34:52 What's your name again?
00:34:54 Stuntman Mike
00:34:55 Well, Stuntman Mike...
00:34:57 I'm Butterfly.
00:34:59 My friend Jungle Julia over here says that
00:35:04 Yeah, it is.
00:35:07 I want you go get ready for your lap dance.
00:35:28 Ready to go?
00:35:29 Yeah.
00:35:30 Bye.
00:35:39 Looking good! Cannonball Run.
00:35:42 He's just giving me a ride.
00:35:44 Ah. No doubt.
00:35:45 Have a nice ride.
00:35:49 Look, double fucks!
00:35:55 I am not gonna fuck him.
00:35:57 I can hear you.
00:36:00 He's old enough to be my dad.
00:36:02 I can still hear you.
00:36:06 I love her ass.
00:36:15 Wow. That's fucking scary.
00:36:17 Well, I wanted to be impressive, and...
00:36:20 Scary tends to impress.
00:36:23 Is it safe?
00:36:25 No. It's better than safe.
00:36:26 It's Death Proof.
00:36:28 How do you make a car death proof?
00:36:31 Well. That's what stuntmen do.
00:36:33 You've seen a movie where a car
00:36:35 ... there ain't no way in hell
00:36:38 Yeah.
00:36:39 How do you think they accomplish that?
00:36:41 CGI?
00:36:44 Well unfortunately, Pam, nowadays,
00:36:48 But back in the all or nothing days...
00:36:50 The Vanishing Point days,
00:36:56 Real cars smashing into real cars.
00:36:58 Real dumb people driving them.
00:37:01 So give the stunt team
00:37:04 They take her, reinforce
00:37:07 Voila!
00:37:08 You got yourself a death proof automobile.
00:37:13 That makes sence.
00:37:17 I could drive this baby into a brick wall
00:37:21 Just for the experience.
00:37:30 Why is your passenger seat in a box?
00:37:31 Well this is a movie car.
00:37:33 Sometimes when you're shooting a crash,
00:37:36 And he'll shoot the crash from the inside.
00:37:39 That's where you put the camera.
00:37:44 There you go.
00:37:47 You know when you asked
00:37:49 You didn't mention your car
00:37:51 Actually, I didn't ask to drive you home.
00:37:54 You asked me for a ride, and I said, yes.
00:37:56 But look at the bright side, Pam.
00:37:57 I won't be getting fresh
00:38:02 That is the bright side.
00:38:05 I thought so.
00:38:32 Well, Pam...
00:38:33 Which way you going,
00:38:36 Right?
00:38:37 Oh, that's too bad.
00:38:39 Why?
00:38:40 Because it was a fifty fifty shot on wheter
00:38:44 You see we're both going left.
00:38:46 You could have just as easily
00:38:49 And if that was the case...
00:38:50 It would have been a while
00:38:53 But since you're going the other way,
00:38:56 I'm afraid you're gonna
00:39:01 ... immediately.
00:39:12 Fuck! Fuckin' motherfucker.
00:39:14 Fuckin' let me out of here.
00:39:17 Stop the fucking car.
00:40:01 Okay.
00:40:06 I get it.
00:40:07 This was all joke?
00:40:10 How super funny it is.
00:40:13 Really funny. Okay?
00:40:15 You could stop now.
00:40:20 If you just drop me off?
00:40:27 Remeber when I said
00:40:31 Well, that wasn't a lie.
00:40:34 This a hundred percent death proof.
00:40:38 Only to get the benefit of it, honey...
00:40:40 You really need to be sitting in my seat.
00:41:21 Now I gotta catch me my other girlfriends.
00:41:40 No. It's Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mitch and Titch.
00:41:44 So you got it?
00:41:46 Thanks, honey.
00:41:50 Good boy.
00:41:55 Bye bye.
00:41:57 What do you want to hear?
00:41:59 Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mitch and Titch.
00:42:01 Who?
00:42:02 Dave, Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mitch and Titch.
00:42:05 Who the fuck are they?
00:42:07 For you information Pete Townshend
00:42:11 And if he had, he would have
00:42:13 Thus making it
00:42:17 And if you ask me, he should have.
00:42:21 That's my boy.
00:44:11 I wanna hear this helluva song louder.
00:45:05 I don't remember.
00:45:10 Doctor Block!
00:45:25 Well.
00:45:26 What's the patient's prognosis, Doctor Block?
00:45:30 I don't really see it's any of your business.
00:45:32 Come on now.
00:45:35 You just tell us.
00:45:37 How bad is it?
00:45:43 He got banged up real good.
00:45:45 Busted nose. Broken collar-bone.
00:45:47 Smashed up his left index finger.
00:45:52 He was really lucky.
00:45:56 That'll be all?
00:45:58 Well, that's more than enough.
00:46:05 Son of a bitch.
00:46:08 So Pop?
00:46:10 What do you think?
00:46:11 Well Son, number one...
00:46:13 What I think is so goddamn goolish
00:46:18 Well, give it a shot.
00:46:21 Well, what we have here is a
00:46:24 That old boy in there
00:46:27 I mean he used a car
00:46:29 They're dead just the same.
00:46:32 Well.
00:46:33 What are you gonna do?
00:46:35 Not a goddamn thing.
00:46:37 D.A. says ain't no crime here.
00:46:40 One of the girls was swimming in alcohol...
00:46:43 ... floatin' on weed.
00:46:45 The old "Hooper" in here...
00:46:47 He was as clean as a whistle.
00:46:49 You actually think that he
00:46:53 Well, I can't prove it.
00:46:55 But since thinking don't cost nothin',
00:46:58 Yeah, but Pop
00:47:00 He got pretty banged up hisself.
00:47:02 Hell yeah, he got banged up.
00:47:03 But God damn, I mean them pretty girls looked like
00:47:09 Did any of them survived?
00:47:12 Two tons of metal.
00:47:23 Why?
00:47:24 Well...
00:47:26 I'd guesstamate it's a sex thing.
00:47:29 Only way I can figure it.
00:47:31 High velocity impact.
00:47:33 Twisted metal. Busting glass.
00:47:36 All four souls taking
00:47:40 Probably the only way that diabolical
00:47:50 Your timing youldn't be better, Zoe.
00:47:52 It just so happens that we're all three
00:47:57 Fuckin' hell, how does that happen?
00:47:59 Well, I'm doing Lindsey Lohan's make up,
00:48:03 There's no stunts being filmed
00:48:05 And Lee's on a will notify
00:48:10 So how's the shoot going?
00:48:12 Great.
00:48:12 We're having the best time. The director,
00:48:16 We're making the coolest movie and partying.
00:48:18 All the time.
00:48:20 The next job after this one is definitely gonna suck.
00:48:23 So let's hear it ladies.
00:48:25 "Set Romances", who's getting it off?
00:48:27 That would be Lee and Toolbox.
00:48:29 Ohhh, Toolbox.
00:48:32 The name sounds promising.
00:48:34 What he is, is a pervert.
00:48:35 Well, he just keeps sounding
00:48:39 What's his perversion?
00:48:42 He likes to watch me pee.
00:48:45 Lee is sitting on the toilet and
00:48:49 P-I-SS-I-N-G.
00:48:53 Yeah, but not no more.
00:48:55 Now she's gettin' it on with The Rock.
00:48:57 Your havin' one off with The Rock?
00:48:59 Not the Real Rock.
00:49:01 And Kim started calling him The Rock
00:49:04 So now we all just call him The Rock.
00:49:06 Kim - dick department - let's hear it.
00:49:09 No dick this trip.
00:49:10 I gotta man.
00:49:12 How long have you had this boyfriend?
00:49:14 About three months.
00:49:15 Who did you steal him from?
00:49:17 Nobody.
00:49:18 Kim.
00:49:20 He totally had a girlfriend.
00:49:22 All of Kim's boyfriends start out
00:49:26 I did not steal him.
00:49:28 I didn't steal any of them... They just...
00:49:32 ... jumped ship.
00:49:35 So what's your story, Abernathy?
00:49:37 Abby's got the big Kahuna.
00:49:39 I had a set crush on Cecil.
00:49:42 Set crush, nigga please.
00:49:46 Were and had being the key words here.
00:49:48 Bitch, you two are still into each
00:49:51 Oh yeah, well if he's
00:49:53 Why did he fuck Daryl Hannah's stand in?
00:49:59 Yes, men are dogs. Oh, it's so funny.
00:50:03 Oh, it's so funny.
00:50:04 Oh stop actin' like you all hurt,
00:50:07 Yeah, he's a stand-in fucker.
00:50:09 Bitch, you need to get over that shit.
00:50:12 Oh, well now you put it like that.
00:50:16 I haven't told you the best part.
00:50:18 He fucked her on my birthday.
00:50:21 Oh. That's a horse of a different color.
00:50:24 Thank you.
00:50:26 Did he know it was your birthday?
00:50:28 He's a director, he's kind of busy.
00:50:30 He ate a piece of my birthday cake
00:50:33 ... and he got me a present.
00:50:35 Yeah. I think he knew.
00:50:38 What did he give?
00:50:43 He made me a tape.
00:50:45 He made you a tape?
00:50:47 He didn't burn you a CD, he made you a tape?
00:50:50 Yeah.
00:50:53 Yes, I know what you're gonna say,
00:50:57 Sounds like the test of true love to me.
00:50:58 I know you guys like him, he's likeable.
00:51:02 But he fucked another woman on my birthday.
00:51:05 How can you not be on my side?
00:51:07 Well I admit that sounds bad.
00:51:09 It is bad.
00:51:10 It just sounds like there's a little
00:51:13 Were you two fucking?
00:51:16 Hello, is your name Abernathy?
00:51:18 Sorry.
00:51:19 The answer to your question is no.
00:51:21 Of course not.
00:51:24 What do you mean, "no, of course not"?
00:51:26 The reason Cecil hasn't had
00:51:29 is because girls will fuck him.
00:51:31 And if you fuck Cecil, you
00:51:35 Not to say I want to be his girlfriend.
00:51:38 But if I did want to be his girlfriend...
00:51:40 If I fucked him, I wouldn't be his girlfriend.
00:51:43 I'd be one of his regulars.
00:51:47 And I'm just getting too fuckin' old for that shit.
00:51:49 Have you let him do anything?
00:51:51 Yes.
00:51:54 I've let him give me a foot massage.
00:51:55 And when we go to the movies,
00:51:59 Bitch, you might be acting like
00:52:02 But he's just acting lke a man.
00:52:04 You need to break that nigga off a piece.
00:52:06 Let me get this straight.
00:52:08 You're not fuckin' him.
00:52:10 You're not sucking him.
00:52:12 You're not giving him any tongue.
00:52:14 But Daryl Hannah's stand in is.
00:52:16 You know some cultures might
00:52:25 Zoe, Kim and I are in the
00:52:28 What were you working on?
00:52:29 "Three Kicks To The Head Part III".
00:52:31 And admittedly, we were a little fucked up.
00:52:35 Cheers to that.
00:52:39 So Zoe...
00:52:42 The genius...
00:52:44 ... wants to take a picture of me.
00:52:47 It's dark as hell and you can't see shit.
00:52:50 So she's got her camera and keeps saying,
00:52:54 So I do.
00:52:55 Then...
00:52:56 "A little further", so I step back a little further.
00:53:00 Then "A little more", so I do.
00:53:03 Then I realize...
00:53:05 I'm right at the edge
00:53:09 With God knows how many rocks
00:53:13 And if I fell in that fuckin' thing, I probably
00:53:17 So I'm yelling at her,
00:53:23 So we laugh about it,
00:53:27 And Zoe starts fuckin' around
00:53:29 And then if she doesn't fall in the fuckin' ditch.
00:53:41 I remember taking a step looking down.
00:53:43 Just as I'm thinking
00:53:46 Bam, I'm in the fuckin' ditch.
00:53:49 What happened?
00:53:50 What? With Zoe the Cat?
00:53:53 Nothing.
00:53:54 If I fell in that fuckin' thing,
00:53:56 They would have had to helicopter me out of there.
00:53:58 Zoe just lands on her feet.
00:54:01 But then later...
00:54:02 I started feeling a little bad about myself.
00:54:05 Zoe falls in the ditch...
00:54:07 ... and it's nothing.
00:54:08 We were laughing about it.
00:54:10 If I fell in that fuckin' thing,
00:54:12 I probably would have been fuckin' paralyzed.
00:54:14 Oh honey, you can't think like that.
00:54:17 We all have our individual talents.
00:54:18 That just happens to be one of Zoe's.
00:54:22 Physically speaking...
00:54:23 Zoe is amazing.
00:54:25 I mean agility, reflexes, nimbleness.
00:54:28 There's few human beings
00:54:32 Kim, I like you, too.
00:54:35 Having said that...
00:54:36 Before you get too envious
00:54:39 You're missing the
00:54:42 You didn't fall in the ditch.
00:54:44 Zoe did.
00:54:46 Zoe even knew there was a ditch
00:54:49 And she still fell in.
00:54:51 So lee's right. We all have our talents.
00:54:56 I resemble that remark.
00:55:01 So Kim, you still pack a Roscoe?
00:55:06 Check it out, bitch.
00:55:08 Oh, nice one, Mate.
00:55:11 What's a Roscoe?
00:55:12 Roscoe is a pistol.
00:55:14 You carry a gun?
00:55:15 Uh-huh.
00:55:16 Do you have a license to carry it?
00:55:18 Yeah.
00:55:19 When I became a Secret Service Agent,
00:55:23 I didn't know you were.
00:55:27 Okay, I didn't say it.
00:55:29 Stop looking at me, I didn't say it.
00:55:33 Did you know Kim carried a gun?
00:55:34 Yes.
00:55:36 Do I approve?
00:55:38 No.
00:55:39 Do I know?
00:55:40 Yes.
00:55:41 Look.
00:55:42 I don't know what futuristic
00:55:46 A bitch need a gun.
00:55:47 You can't get around the fact...
00:55:49 that people who carry guns...
00:55:51 ... tend to get shot more than people who don't.
00:55:54 And you can't get around the fact...
00:55:55 that if I go down in the laundry room
00:55:59 I might get my ass raped.
00:56:01 Don't do your laundry at midnight.
00:56:03 Fuck that! I wanna do my laundry
00:56:06 There are other things
00:56:09 Pepper spray.
00:56:11 But if a motherfucker try to rape me,
00:56:15 I wanna shut that nigga down.
00:56:19 How about a knife at least?
00:56:22 You know what happens to
00:56:25 They get shot.
00:56:27 Look...
00:56:28 If I ever become a famous actress
00:56:30 I won't carry a gun.
00:56:32 I'll hire me a do-dirt-nigga and
00:56:34 And when shit goes down,
00:56:36 But until that day...
00:56:37 It's Wild West motherfucker.
00:56:39 So Zoe!
00:56:41 You thought about
00:56:43 It just so happens...
00:56:45 I know exactly what I wanna do.
00:56:48 Oh, really?
00:56:49 And what would that be?
00:56:51 To me there's no point in being America
00:56:53 unless you're gonna
00:56:56 I wanna drive a Dodge Challenger.
00:56:58 Fuck me swinging, balls out.
00:57:03 Well, I guess we can talk to transpo-
00:57:06 But does it have to be a
00:57:08 Not just that.
00:57:09 It has to be a 1970 Dodge Challenger
00:57:17 How in the fuck...
00:57:20 No worries, Mate.
00:57:21 I've got it all worked out.
00:57:24 When I knew I was coming here,
00:57:25 I went online and found out that the
00:57:29 Is the Lebanon News Sentinel.
00:57:31 So back home...
00:57:31 I'm sorry, where's home,
00:57:36 What do you mean by that, Mate?
00:57:38 Zoe's from New Zealand.
00:57:40 And you never...
00:57:42 I repeat never...
00:57:43 ... call a Kiwi an Aussie.
00:57:45 That is unless you want your ass kicked.
00:57:49 I'm so sorry...
00:57:52 That's okay.
00:57:54 We're just taking the piss
00:57:57 Auckland - to answer your question.
00:58:01 Anyway, I subscribed to the
00:58:03 Now why the fuck you want a local
00:58:07 Pipe down and I'll tell you.
00:58:10 I've been getting the
00:58:11 I've been checking the classifieds
00:58:14 So.
00:58:15 As of yesterday,
00:58:19 Some dude is selling his stock
00:58:22 With a 440 engine,
00:58:26 And you wanna buy it?
00:58:29 Kim, I may be stupid...
00:58:31 but I'm not bloody stupid.
00:58:33 I wanna say I want to buy it,
00:58:37 A 1970 Dodge Challenger
00:58:41 Kowalski from "Vanishing Point", Mate.
00:58:44 It's a fucking classic.
00:58:46 If I can get this guy to
00:58:48 I'll blow the doors of that bitch.
00:58:51 What's "Vanishing Point"?
00:58:54 What's "Vanishing Point"?
00:58:56 Abes,
00:58:57 I'm supposed to be the illeterate one.
00:58:59 It's just one of the best
00:59:02 Actually Zoe, most girls...
00:59:05 ... wouldn't know "Vanishing Point".
00:59:07 Excuse me, most girls?
00:59:09 What the fuck are you two?
00:59:11 Yeah, well, we're gearheads.
00:59:13 Of course we watched it.
00:59:15 You all grew up watching
00:59:17 I like "Pretty in Pink".
00:59:20 What so you didn't
00:59:22 Of course I did, I'm a girl.
00:59:24 But I also watched car shit, too.
00:59:26 "Vanishing point"
00:59:27 "Dirty Marry", "Crazy Larry",
00:59:29 "Gone in 60 Seconds"
00:59:31 The real one.
00:59:32 Not that Angelina Jolie bullshit.
00:59:34 We have an outdoor theatre in Auckland
00:59:37 "Big Wednesday"
00:59:39 All the classsics.
00:59:57 What do you all the girls want?
01:00:03 You've got a 1970 Dodge Challenger for sale?
01:00:06 Right up here ladies.
01:00:21 There she is off the fuckin' hook.
01:00:24 Fucking legendary, Mate.
01:00:31 If you'll excuseme for a moment
01:00:33 I'd like to have a word alone
01:00:35 You ladies take your time.
01:00:43 What are you waiting for?
01:00:45 Ask him you want to drive it b yourself.
01:00:46 I intend to.
01:00:47 But first I need to ask you something.
01:00:49 What?
01:00:50 If he lets us take it out on our own,
01:00:53 I wanna play Ships Mast.
01:00:55 Aww, hell no.
01:00:57 Ain't no way, I'm doing Ships Mast.
01:00:59 For Christsakes, Kim.
01:01:00 Sorry.
01:01:01 Now.
01:01:03 What did you say after the last time?
01:01:05 I know what I said.
01:01:07 I know I said we shouldn't
01:01:10 No, you didn't say "We shouldn't".
01:01:11 You said, we ain't ever
01:01:13 But.
01:01:15 You said, not only are we never
01:01:18 But you also said, if you
01:01:21 to not only refuse, but that I had permission
01:01:26 Now, did you or did you not say that?
01:01:28 Naw naw naw naw.
01:01:30 Answer the question, motherfucker.
01:01:32 Did you or di you not say that?
01:01:34 Yes. I said that. However -
01:01:36 Whatever with your however.
01:01:39 I know I said that.
01:01:40 And I know I meant it.
01:01:41 Damn skippy you meant it.
01:01:43 But when I said it,
01:01:45 Nigga please.
01:01:47 Really, I meant we should never play Ships
01:01:52 You are such a liar.
01:01:54 Look.
01:01:55 I know what I said, when I said that.
01:01:56 But when I said it, I didn't know
01:01:59 And when I said it,
01:02:02 and have the opportunity to play Ships Mast
01:02:07 I would have added a however.
01:02:09 Right?
01:02:16 Okay, oddly enough,
01:02:18 However...
01:02:20 Just because you talked yourself
01:02:23 it doesn't mean I have
01:02:25 You need two people
01:02:27 And I ain't playing.
01:02:37 I'll be your best friend.
01:02:38 I don't need me no best friend that lives
01:02:42 I'll crack your back.
01:02:43 You'll crack it anyway.
01:02:45 Of course I would crack it anyway.
01:02:47 But now...
01:02:49 While I'm here...
01:02:49 I'll be your back cracking slave.
01:02:51 Whenever you want it, you've got it.
01:02:54 You just order me to do it,
01:02:56 "Bitch, git over here and get busy."
01:03:03 So we're gonna see if this guy'll let
01:03:06 If he does, you wait here with Lee
01:03:10 What?
01:03:11 I said we're gonna see if this guy'll let
01:03:14 I heard what you said.
01:03:15 I just can't believe what you said.
01:03:20 You know you two guys got
01:03:22 What?
01:03:23 Don't play dumbass with me.
01:03:25 I've been up all night.
01:03:27 I'm still a little drunk and ...
01:03:29 I have a hangover.
01:03:30 I should be in my hotel room asleep.
01:03:32 Not fucking around here on Tobacco Road.
01:03:33 But because Zoe wanted to drive
01:03:36 I'm here.
01:03:37 Now you two got the balls to ask me - no ...
01:03:40 scratch that -- tell me,
01:03:42 I gotta make conversation with Tom Joad
01:03:43 while the cool kids get to go out and play?
01:03:46 Bullshit on that.
01:03:48 It ain't like that.
01:03:49 Then what's it like, Kim?
01:03:50 You guys are our collateral.
01:03:52 He's never gonna go for it if we all go.
01:03:54 I really think one human
01:03:58 You're not gonna wanna
01:04:00 What, drive a car?
01:04:02 We're doing more than that.
01:04:04 What, drive it fast?
01:04:07 We're doing more than that.
01:04:09 Actually, we're paying you a compliment.
01:04:11 Cause we're gonna do some stupid shit.
01:04:16 But that's okay, we're stunt people.
01:04:18 But you got good sense.
01:04:19 And anybody with good sense,
01:04:20 Ain't gonna wanna do what we're doing.
01:04:22 How do you know I don't wanna do it?
01:04:24 Cause you're a mom.
01:04:26 Yeah.
01:04:30 You know, we're supposed to
01:04:32 but that's the excuse you guys use whenever
01:04:36 So what is it you two daredevils are doing,
01:04:39 That if I'm just so uncool,
01:04:44 You know, we're kinda
01:04:47 Maybe it's best we don't go into detail
01:04:50 Besides...
01:04:52 He's probably not gonna
01:04:58 Okay.
01:04:59 How about this?
01:05:02 I'll talk him into it.
01:05:03 But if I talk him into it, I go along.
01:05:06 How you gonna do that?
01:05:07 That's my problem.
01:05:09 But don't worry.
01:05:12 He'll say yes.
01:05:14 What are you gonna do, blow him?
01:05:16 No.
01:05:18 I'm gonna insinuate that
01:05:27 Not really.
01:05:29 But let me handle it.
01:05:31 We got a deal?
01:05:37 Okay mommy, listen up.
01:05:39 You wanna hang with the cool kids,
01:05:42 We take you along,
01:05:44 You don't even say crap.
01:05:45 You just sit in the back, and I don't wanna hear
01:05:48 I'm serious now.
01:05:49 You starting us, we're pullin' over
01:05:52 Kickin' your ass out
01:05:54 Agreed.
01:05:59 Okay.
01:06:01 Go work your magic.
01:06:08 Hello, sir.
01:06:10 What's your name?
01:06:12 Hello, Jasper, I'm Abernathy.
01:06:13 Aber-what?
01:06:14 Abernathy.
01:06:15 What's your first name?
01:06:16 That is my first name.
01:06:18 What kind of first name is that?
01:06:19 You know what, just call me Abby.
01:06:21 Okay, Abby.
01:06:24 Jasper.
01:06:25 We were wondering if my friends
01:06:27 ... for a little test drive out on our own.
01:06:29 You know just to see
01:06:31 Why would I do
01:06:33 To better sell your automobile.
01:06:35 How do I know y'all ain't just
01:06:37 Four reasons actually.
01:06:39 One, we're not thieves.
01:06:42 Two, that would be rude.
01:06:45 Three, we're staying at the
01:06:47 You can call the hotel, check with management,
01:06:50 Actally Zoe is not, but Kim and I are
01:06:53 So we're totally tracdownable.
01:06:56 The colored girl?
01:06:58 Yes.
01:06:59 Kim would be the girl of color.
01:07:01 And reason number four
01:07:04 While we're taking the car
01:07:07 That'll give you a better
01:07:10 ... with our other friend.
01:07:12 Lee.
01:07:17 Why does she look kinda familiar?
01:07:19 That would be because
01:07:24 Why she dressed like that?
01:07:26 Well you see, we're making a
01:07:29 And it's a cheerleader movie, and
01:07:32 What's a cheerleader movie?
01:07:33 A movie about cheerleaders.
01:07:36 Is it a porno movie?
01:07:39 Yes.
01:07:40 It is.
01:07:42 But don't mention it.
01:07:44 She's shy.
01:07:49 Lee this is Jasper.
01:07:51 Jasper Lee.
01:07:53 You two kids stay out of trouble.
01:07:55 Hey good looking!
01:07:56 Be back to pick you up later.
01:07:58 Gulp.
01:08:26 You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
01:08:29 I think I'm thinkin' it.
01:08:30 What are you and you thinkin'?
01:08:32 I'm thinkin' we told your ass
01:08:38 Where are you going?
01:08:39 You stay put.
01:08:59 So you're ready do to this?
01:09:02 Are you sure?
01:09:03 Well..
01:09:04 I always don't wanna
01:09:07 You know what I mean?
01:09:08 Yeah, I know what you mean.
01:09:09 Cause I don't wanna do it.
01:09:11 Kim.
01:09:12 Fuck, if you're gonna take
01:09:14 I'm just saying...
01:09:18 You wanna start right on top?
01:09:21 Practically, it doesn't count.
01:09:22 Then we start on the top.
01:09:29 Here, your glove.
01:09:38 No no no no.
01:09:39 I'm wearing the jacket.
01:09:41 This is my jacket.
01:09:43 Ain't you promised to
01:09:51 You're on the hood.
01:10:02 Yo, I think I hear a car coming.
01:10:04 Give me your belt.
01:10:10 Oh, this is my cute shit.
01:10:13 Fuck that. Get Abernathe's belt.
01:10:24 Give me your belt.
01:10:27 Come on, give me the belt.
01:10:29 Magic word.
01:10:30 Please give me the belt.
01:10:33 Just cause you asked nicely.
01:10:38 It's nce to be nice, Kim.
01:10:40 Whatever.
01:10:43 Don't even fuckin' think about asking me
01:10:46 And your ass gonna do it.
01:10:47 Yeah and your ass pretty please bitch.
01:10:48 Because that's what you do when no one
01:10:52 Abernathy?
01:10:53 Don't get on my nerves right now.
01:10:55 I got shit on my mind.
01:11:18 Hey, Abernathy.
01:11:19 Check this out.
01:11:33 What the fuck
01:11:44 What does that mean?
01:12:04 Is that fast enough for your ass?
01:12:14 Abernathy, get your ass up here.
01:12:42 Check it out bitch.
01:12:44 You want it fuckin' faster?
01:14:00 Oh my God.
01:14:02 What the fuck --
01:14:20 Now.
01:14:22 Did you do something to him?
01:14:25 Nothing.
01:14:26 Shit.
01:15:01 I'm sorry I called you black bitch.
01:15:03 I forgive you.
01:15:07 Get away.
01:15:23 Redneck lunatic bastard.
01:15:25 Get away from me.
01:15:45 I'm scared, Kim.
01:15:47 Fear nobody. Just hold on.
01:15:58 Suck on this for a while.
01:16:34 Leave us alone.
01:16:37 Fuck you, motherfucker.
01:17:51 Get ready to fly, bitch.
01:18:27 Ladies.
01:18:28 That was fun.
01:18:34 Well.
01:18:35 Adios.
01:18:56 Bitch.
01:19:12 I'm okay.
01:19:14 Oh shit. God damn it.
01:19:17 Oh you fuckin bitch.
01:19:21 Of course you are.
01:19:25 What was I thinking?
01:19:32 That was a close one.
01:19:38 You guys look like shit.
01:19:40 Who lied?
01:19:42 That shit!
01:19:46 Are you okay?
01:19:57 So?
01:19:58 Where is the maniac?
01:20:00 I shot him and his spunk ass sped off.
01:20:04 Do you wanna go and get him?
01:20:06 Oh hell yeah.
01:20:08 Honey.
01:20:10 I think you might wanna get out.
01:20:13 Fuck that shit.
01:20:16 Let's kill this bastard.
01:20:20 Okay, get your ass in the back. Let's go.
01:20:27 Wait.
01:20:41 Sweet. Let's go.
01:22:06 Do it.
01:22:08 Do it.
01:22:41 Now I'll explain.
01:22:42 Fuckin' fuck you.
01:22:44 Where do you think you're fuckin' going?
01:23:21 Don't like it up the ass, do you?
01:23:51 Get him. Get him.
01:23:54 Motherfucker move.
01:24:13 Watch it. Watch it.
01:24:47 Oh, you know I can't let you go.
01:24:51 Without tapping that ass.
01:24:55 One...
01:24:56 Kim?
01:24:57 More..
01:24:59 ... time.
01:25:01 Go ya.
01:26:54 C'mon.
01:26:56 Don't you like us moterfucker.
01:26:59 Who's laughing now bitch?
01:27:12 Hey, sucker.
01:27:15 You're not such a lunatic bastard.
01:27:18 I'm sorry.
01:27:21 I didn't mean anything.
01:27:25 Ah, he was just playing around.
01:27:29 Now I ain't playing with you.
01:27:36 Oh, look out! Look out!
01:27:47 Watch your side!
01:28:18 Jesus fuckin' Christ.
01:28:20 It's about time.
01:28:41 Please don't dead end.
01:28:43 Please don't dead end.
01:28:44 Please don't dead end.
01:28:54 There the motherfucker is.
01:29:21 Help me.
01:29:29 Be careful my right arm's broken.
01:30:14 Timing & Text by Bodza
01:30:17 csete@c2.hu