Guess Who

en
00:00:55 "Girl, I love..." No.
00:00:58 "Girl, I love your..."
00:01:00 No, that ain't it.
00:01:02 "Girl, I love your style.
00:01:04 "I love when you get that smile.
00:01:06 "You should be in a magazine,
00:01:10 "Our love is everything."
00:01:14 - Percy?
00:01:17 You got a girl in there?
00:01:22 What kind of question is that,
00:01:24 I didn't know. I heard you talking.
00:01:26 - I'm in here doing my vows.
00:01:28 For this ridiculous party
00:01:32 This extravaganza is costing a lot of money.
00:01:37 What was wrong with what I said
00:01:39 - What's wrong with "I do"? I did, didn't I?
00:01:41 - Women, boy.
00:01:48 You know what? I think it's cool
00:01:53 I wrote this on the way to work
00:01:54 - You wrote that on the way to work?
00:01:56 Were you listening to the radio
00:02:00 Okay, then. If this is to a song,
00:02:05 Baby, turn around
00:02:06 And let me see that sexy body
00:02:10 That's it.
00:02:14 Go.
00:02:18 Reggie.
00:02:20 See your sexy smile and bump, bump?
00:02:23 - Three bumps.
00:02:27 See your sexy smile and you bump, bump
00:02:31 See your sexy smile and you
00:02:40 Hey, boss. Did I hear Theresa's bringing
00:02:44 Yes.
00:02:46 What? I'm fine with it.
00:02:48 - So, you met him?
00:02:51 - You didn't.
00:02:54 Fred, this young brother is a stockbroker
00:02:59 - Theresa? I don't believe it.
00:03:02 And this boy's credit report, I'm telling you,
00:03:06 I almost cried.
00:03:08 Wow, this guy sounds too good to be true.
00:03:11 He probably is. But the brother has a job.
00:03:14 - I'm glad you think that way...
00:03:17 ...but I quit.
00:03:20 - I quit!
00:03:23 I'm just trying to explain to you
00:03:26 It's the clients, I'm just explaining...
00:03:28 None of my clients seem to care.
00:03:32 Come on. Don't be so sensitive.
00:03:33 That's not how the world works.
00:03:37 Simon, sit down. Simon!
00:03:50 Jerk.
00:03:52 I don't need you, Nathan!
00:03:54 I don't need J.P. Oliver.
00:03:56 My résumé is good enough. I can get a job
00:04:09 I'm not going to freak out!
00:04:12 What am I going to tell Theresa?
00:04:14 What am I going to tell her?
00:04:15 "Baby, you know how you're always
00:04:20 "Well, great news!"
00:04:21 I'll meet my future father-in-law and
00:04:25 Okay. I'll get the next one.
00:04:28 I can't quit my job!
00:04:32 I'm not gonna beg for this job!
00:04:33 - I got $20 says he goes up again.
00:04:36 Oh, my God! I just quit my job!
00:04:39 I don't need this job! No.
00:04:52 Here he comes.
00:04:57 - Hi.
00:05:00 Hello, Liz. Simon Green here.
00:05:04 Simon! What's up?
00:05:06 Every investment I've made
00:05:09 Listen. That job you offered me.
00:05:13 Why? What happened?
00:05:14 I'll tell you about it later.
00:05:17 Are you kidding?
00:05:19 When he finds out you asked about this...
00:05:23 he will go nuts!
00:05:24 Liz, thank you.
00:06:09 Theresa? Baby?
00:06:13 You're home early.
00:06:15 Really early. Hi.
00:06:17 - Got out of there quick.
00:06:21 What have we got?
00:06:23 Tumi.
00:06:25 - That's nice. When did we get this?
00:06:30 Combined incomes. Bling bling, baby!
00:06:34 Yeah. Bling bling.
00:06:40 Baby?
00:06:41 God. You should have heard Dad's voice
00:06:44 when I told him you work for J.P. Oliver.
00:06:46 I feel like he's more in love with you
00:06:50 - Really?
00:06:52 Ever since I can remember,
00:06:55 "Theresa, does that boy have a job?"
00:07:00 - It's a good thing I do then, huh?
00:07:04 I'm so excited! Aren't you excited?
00:07:08 Theresa, a man is never excited
00:07:14 You know, I was thinking.
00:07:19 What?
00:07:20 - It was your idea.
00:07:23 But I'm thinking now
00:07:26 No, I think it's a great idea.
00:07:27 Announcing our engagement
00:07:30 is gonna be the best present
00:07:33 Babe, Mom's gonna flip.
00:07:35 See, I'm not worried about your mom.
00:07:40 him.
00:07:43 See, he's about ready
00:07:47 in his head, because you guys
00:07:50 No, we were winning that game. Yeah.
00:08:00 We're bringing in a canopy here.
00:08:02 Swags of tulle with festoons.
00:08:05 Sprays of roses.
00:08:07 Parquet dance floor here.
00:08:09 Guests will be seated at tables
00:08:12 Very clean, very simple, very elegant.
00:08:14 And rose petals on the lawn.
00:08:17 oodles.
00:08:18 At my wedding, we had oodles of petals.
00:08:22 At that wedding, was a woman involved?
00:08:25 Of course it involved a woman.
00:08:27 If she's not a woman, it's gonna be
00:08:30 - Look.
00:08:34 Twenty-five years of marriage.
00:08:37 - More power to you, pal.
00:08:39 - Hey, baby.
00:08:42 My vice principal called in sick today...
00:08:44 so it was just me
00:08:47 I swear half of them
00:08:51 Hi, Dante.
00:08:52 - So, Percy, which one do you like best?
00:08:56 Is your name Percy?
00:08:58 Which one costs the most?
00:08:59 - They cost the same.
00:09:01 This one's from Saks.
00:09:03 Saks!
00:09:05 Thank you.
00:09:10 - I'm digging that one, baby.
00:09:14 Well, that's too bad,
00:09:17 Hallelujah.
00:09:20 Sweetheart.
00:09:21 - Yeah?
00:09:24 Why do you even bother asking me?
00:09:26 'Cause it's a big day for us
00:09:28 Why couldn't you include
00:09:31 Dante is a nice man.
00:09:33 A nice man.
00:09:35 A nice man that part of the time
00:09:38 Will you stop it?
00:09:39 Would you open your mind, Percy Jones?
00:09:42 - A what?
00:09:44 No such thing. You might as well tell me
00:09:48 Look, serious face, serious moment.
00:09:51 I need to talk to you.
00:09:52 I know, baby. I'm working on my vows.
00:09:55 - That's sweet, but that's not it.
00:09:59 This boy that Theresa's bringing home?
00:10:02 I don't know who his people are,
00:10:05 I don't know anything about him.
00:10:07 But what I do know is that
00:10:10 I'm always nice.
00:10:12 Let's be nice long enough
00:10:15 I already know who he is.
00:10:17 - You pulled his credit report?
00:10:19 You pulled his credit report, Percy?
00:10:23 I mean, I glanced at it.
00:10:25 But a credit report don't tell you
00:10:28 But being a loan officer for 22 years...
00:10:31 I can size that boy up in an instant.
00:10:33 And you know I got a knack for it.
00:10:35 Five seconds. That's all I need.
00:10:39 That's all I need.
00:10:42 - Nobody knows that better than me.
00:10:45 I didn't stutter.
00:10:55 I'm not so good with dads, baby.
00:10:58 I'm good with moms. I'm better with moms.
00:11:00 He's a big guy, right?
00:11:03 Scary big. He also has these...
00:11:05 piercing eyes that just burn
00:11:07 Don't maintain eye contact for
00:11:13 Babe, I'm kidding.
00:11:17 Okay?
00:11:20 - Did you tell them?
00:11:23 - Babe, don't... The...
00:11:27 - Did you... I'm...
00:11:29 Pigment-challenged?
00:11:31 You're white?
00:11:33 You're white?
00:11:35 Stop the car!
00:11:37 Oh, my God! Look at what you...
00:11:43 Oh, my God.
00:11:44 Simon, I'm so sorry.
00:11:46 - It was a joke, sir. I was kidding.
00:11:50 Simon, are you okay?
00:11:53 - Who are you?
00:11:56 Why am I in Jersey?
00:12:03 - Don't worry. It's gonna be great, okay?
00:12:05 I'm very sorry. It was a bad joke.
00:12:08 - So, did you tell them?
00:12:14 That I love you.
00:12:17 That you have a very cute birthmark
00:12:20 You just didn't feel the need to mention
00:12:26 Simon, look. I didn't mention it
00:12:30 It's gonna matter.
00:12:33 We're fine, sir.
00:12:59 Dad!
00:13:00 Look at this here. Oh, my God.
00:13:05 How are you?
00:13:07 Mom!
00:13:09 - Hey, my man. Percy Jones, baby.
00:13:13 Man, look at this here. I like this, man.
00:13:18 Wow. That's something else.
00:13:20 Listen. You doing everything you can
00:13:24 - No, Dad, it's...
00:13:26 You can take that to the front door for me.
00:13:28 - Thank you.
00:13:29 Don't interrupt.
00:13:33 Sir? Don't stand like a statue.
00:13:36 That's that square with the hole.
00:13:39 - Thank you.
00:13:41 You doing everything in your power
00:13:43 I'm not sure if I am,
00:13:46 - Boy, I ought to drill you, man. I like him.
00:13:50 Young man, don't worry about it. Relax.
00:13:53 I figure, what, $30?
00:13:56 Dad, this is Simon.
00:14:00 Simon?
00:14:02 - That's her boyfriend's name.
00:14:06 - Well, who are you?
00:14:08 But if you're still down with me
00:14:11 I'm good to go.
00:14:13 - Why don't you just go?
00:14:24 I wish Theresa would have told me
00:14:28 That would have saved an awkward moment.
00:14:31 - Kind of like this one.
00:14:37 - Welcome home, sweetheart.
00:14:39 - Baby, let me get that.
00:14:42 Lemonade.
00:14:45 Damn!
00:14:52 Ain't no need, us standing out here.
00:14:56 Come on, we going on inside
00:15:00 Just come on.
00:15:02 That boy's white.
00:15:03 Nothing gets past you.
00:15:05 I guess it's those 22 years as a loan officer.
00:15:08 - You knew about this.
00:15:11 But I did figure it out
00:15:14 Why she just didn't say nothing?
00:15:17 We taught our girls
00:15:20 - I know that but...
00:15:24 I guess the problem is
00:15:26 I'm expecting Denzel Washington
00:15:30 and I get Whitey McWhiteman instead.
00:15:31 - Hi, you guys.
00:15:34 I'm just showing Simon the house.
00:15:36 You've a very beautiful home, Mrs. Jones.
00:15:38 - Why, thank you. You can call me Marilyn.
00:15:41 You, too, Mr. Jones.
00:15:43 Thank you. You can call me Mr. Jones.
00:15:48 I'm just kidding.
00:15:51 You got me. That was funny.
00:15:53 I'm making lemonade.
00:15:56 - Yes, thank you. Sit down, babe.
00:15:59 So, Simon, they tell me
00:16:02 Yes, sir.
00:16:03 - You like it there? You been there long?
00:16:07 - You moving up?
00:16:12 - You a hard worker? You work hard?
00:16:14 - J.P. Oliver has a huge IPO coming up...
00:16:17 But he's asking you about your work.
00:16:20 - I know, but you go into details...
00:16:23 Anyway, they made Simon their IPO...
00:16:27 And they're flying him
00:16:30 I'm not going to see him for three days.
00:16:32 - So, Simon, what do your parents do?
00:16:34 - My mother is a realtor.
00:16:37 And she sells mini-blinds
00:16:40 Damn. How many jobs your mama got?
00:16:43 She's a single parent.
00:16:46 What happened to your father?
00:16:48 He left when I was two
00:16:53 - I'm sorry to hear that.
00:16:57 You play any sports?
00:17:01 I played some foosball in college.
00:17:06 - That's the table with the soccer guys...
00:17:09 - Stupid joke.
00:17:11 Dad, stop badgering him.
00:17:13 I'm not badgering him.
00:17:16 I don't understand why you don't
00:17:19 A man who don't play sports
00:17:22 - I used to run a little.
00:17:29 I mean, you don't look like a sprinter.
00:17:31 - What'd you run? Did you steeplechase?
00:17:34 Come on, man. What was your race?
00:17:35 - Cars.
00:17:38 - NASCAR.
00:17:41 That was the one.
00:17:44 I had some hopes and some dreams and...
00:17:47 it all ended on a hot August day
00:17:51 It was a crash. Just...
00:17:57 They said I should've been killed.
00:17:59 Actually, I got out without a scratch.
00:18:02 NASCAR?
00:18:04 Mostly I just worked in the pit.
00:18:06 I mean, I test drove
00:18:09 What was his name?
00:18:13 Jay Gordon.
00:18:14 You drove for Jeff Gordon?
00:18:17 We called him Jay or J.G.
00:18:21 A pit name, actually.
00:18:24 NASCAR?
00:18:26 I believe I said I don't like to talk
00:18:29 NASCAR?
00:18:31 What was I supposed to do?
00:18:33 He was staring at me
00:18:35 - He was not.
00:18:37 filled with piercing disappointment
00:18:42 "A man who don't play sports
00:18:45 I had to give him something! He's big.
00:18:48 He's like... You said he was big,
00:18:51 But why did you lie about NASCAR?
00:18:54 It's NASCAR, baby. That's, like,
00:18:57 Not anymore, Simon.
00:18:59 There's, like, NASCAR and hockey.
00:19:02 Hockey. I should have went with hockey.
00:19:04 Don't worry. He'll forget about it.
00:19:08 It always takes him some time
00:19:11 - What are we talking about here?
00:19:16 I can tell he really likes you.
00:19:19 I don't like him.
00:19:23 And I really don't think
00:19:26 - It's not that he's white.
00:19:40 - Is this yours or mine?
00:19:44 No. I think it's for now.
00:19:47 - Lf memory serves me right, I think it's mine.
00:19:53 Take it off!
00:19:54 - Take it off right now.
00:19:57 - What are you doing?
00:19:59 - Always has been. Look at it. My goodness!
00:20:03 But it fits me so perfectly.
00:20:04 Look, you're stretching it!
00:20:05 - Take it off right now.
00:20:07 It's nice. You take it off.
00:20:09 - I'm not joking.
00:20:11 Stop it, Simon.
00:20:12 - Take it off.
00:20:14 Coming in.
00:20:20 Mom!
00:20:22 - I'm going to tell her right now.
00:20:25 - What?
00:20:28 I'm paying for it. What's the problem?
00:20:30 - Can I speak to you?
00:20:31 Why are you taking him to a hotel?
00:20:32 You didn't see
00:20:35 - Mom, we were just playing.
00:20:38 Mr. Jones, I'm not a cross-dresser.
00:20:41 Just for the record.
00:20:42 - A cross-dresser?
00:20:45 What are you... It's lingerie.
00:20:46 - You shouldn't even be having any.
00:20:50 - It is not covering up the grown parts!
00:20:52 Why does the young man
00:20:54 Don't start with me.
00:20:56 Your rules?
00:20:57 This house can't handle
00:20:59 We cannot exceed the testosterone level.
00:21:01 We gotta keep it like that until the girls
00:21:05 And I'm not suggesting anyone get married!
00:21:07 Why can't he stay in the basement,
00:21:09 Because that's my room!
00:21:12 - How selfish.
00:21:13 It got mold, anyway.
00:21:15 Could be black mold. I wouldn't
00:21:18 Do you have any idea
00:21:20 No, it's okay.
00:21:21 No, it's not okay!
00:21:23 Look, this is your father's house.
00:21:27 Now, he's obviously set
00:21:30 And I'm going to abide by that.
00:21:31 - You falling for that? I'm going with you.
00:21:35 - You don't want me to go with you?
00:21:38 But what?
00:21:39 - You need to stay here.
00:21:44 You need to stay here.
00:21:45 - No. I want to be with you!
00:21:47 Are you two gonna be done soon,
00:21:50 Come on, honey. Let's sit...
00:21:52 You need to help your mom
00:21:55 We don't want to stress them out, do we?
00:21:58 No.
00:22:00 - All right?
00:22:02 - All right. We're all set.
00:22:06 - Come on, get your stuff. Let's go.
00:22:09 Where is he? Girl!
00:22:13 Oh, my God. Are we being audited?
00:22:14 - No, Keisha.
00:22:16 This is Simon. This is Theresa's boyfriend.
00:22:20 Go.
00:22:21 - Nice to meet you.
00:22:24 Good, you all met. Take it to the car.
00:22:27 - Dad, Theresa's boyfriend is white.
00:22:31 I know you know.
00:22:32 I just wanted to see your face
00:22:35 Not now.
00:22:36 - Don't forget we have dinner reservations.
00:23:04 She was black as the night
00:23:10 Louie was whiter than white
00:23:14 Danger
00:23:16 Take a walk on the wild side
00:23:18 And the colored girls go
00:23:34 Looks like rain.
00:23:37 Nope.
00:23:40 - Those clouds look pretty threatening.
00:23:47 So, Theresa tells me you're in charge
00:23:52 That must be a rewarding job.
00:24:00 I'm thinking about making a switch
00:24:03 I just think there's less political garbage.
00:24:05 You think I don't deal
00:24:08 I got political garbage coming out my ass.
00:24:10 If I give a guy a loan,
00:24:13 If I deny him, I have to deal with him
00:24:16 - I know that feeling.
00:24:23 Good thing it isn't raining.
00:24:26 That's not rain. It's sprinkling.
00:24:29 You might want to turn on
00:24:32 I will once it starts raining.
00:24:38 Come on, you two, let's go.
00:24:40 - I don't want to be late. Keisha!
00:24:43 Why you always got to knock
00:24:45 'Cause you still live here.
00:24:46 Let's go. It's raining. I don't wanna be late.
00:24:50 Come on.
00:24:56 Okay, tell me what's it like?
00:24:59 - What's what like?
00:25:03 - Come on, Keisha, what's the sex like?
00:25:08 Where's Mom?
00:25:09 She's downstairs, girl. Come on! Bring it.
00:25:13 Okay. You know that thing they say
00:25:18 - Really?
00:25:20 And not only are their penises big,
00:25:24 When they get excited, they sing up a storm.
00:25:26 They know a million tunes.
00:25:28 Cut it out. Stop it.
00:25:33 Keisha, seriously, is he nice?
00:25:35 - Yeah, and he's cute, too.
00:25:39 - What about Mom and Dad?
00:25:41 I mean, Dad, he seems, you know,
00:25:45 Isn't he ever?
00:25:46 - Girls!
00:25:48 But can I just say,
00:25:53 - Why?
00:25:58 - crash Dad's car, or if I...
00:26:00 ...rob a bank...
00:26:03 - if I burn this house down...
00:26:05 ...I won't be the one
00:26:13 Thank you!
00:26:18 Mom!
00:26:21 - Can I help you with your bag, sir?
00:26:26 You don't trust a working man
00:26:29 No, I just... It's just one bag.
00:26:31 What do you think,
00:26:34 and steal your toothbrush
00:26:37 - No, that's not it at all.
00:26:40 Theresa's grandfather was a bellman for
00:26:48 Could you get my bag?
00:26:50 What, he's your slave now?
00:26:52 No.
00:26:53 Did you want me to take your bag, sir?
00:26:57 I don't know.
00:26:59 - Next, please.
00:27:02 Hi. Reservation for Percy Jones.
00:27:06 And that's Jones with a "J"?
00:27:08 No, Jones with a "P."
00:27:10 I made the reservation last week.
00:27:14 You knew you were gonna kick me out
00:27:16 Son, I knew I was gonna kick you out
00:27:19 when the doctor announced it was a girl.
00:27:21 - Here you are.
00:27:23 - We gave your room away.
00:27:26 Check-in was at 4:00.
00:27:28 It's Thursday night. I'm quite sure
00:27:31 I'm sorry, we're completely booked
00:27:33 There's a Shriners convention
00:27:37 May I help you with anything else,
00:27:42 I guess I'll have to stay at your house, then.
00:27:44 No, there's a crack hotel downtown.
00:27:50 Next.
00:27:53 Hi. Welcome to Cranford.
00:27:56 - I don't know what your basement's like...
00:28:00 I don't think dampness is really an issue
00:28:03 You can't think about anything but getting
00:28:07 Mr. Jones, I'm in your house.
00:28:11 Yeah, right. You'll obey Mr. Jones now...
00:28:13 but when you're up at 3:00 in the morning...
00:28:15 all hot and horny, you'll obey Mr. Johnson.
00:28:17 You heard the lady. There's no available
00:28:21 - I'm not gonna do anything. I swear.
00:28:29 You know, dinner's in about 10 minutes.
00:28:31 I don't know what Marilyn is like
00:28:35 Stay out of that storm.
00:28:38 All right. You can stay in my basement.
00:28:41 But you remember one thing.
00:28:46 Now get in the car. Come on, let's go.
00:28:53 Ebony, ivory
00:28:56 living in perfect harmony
00:28:58 Ivory, ebony
00:29:04 So, how long have you two been together?
00:29:06 - Five months.
00:29:08 Which one is it?
00:29:10 Well, see, Theresa counts
00:29:14 And I count from the first...
00:29:20 - How's the chicken here?
00:29:23 Did I tell you two girls...
00:29:24 that for the first dance,
00:29:28 - The tango?
00:29:29 You know what? Your father and I used to
00:29:33 Sweetheart, I told you
00:29:35 We're already saying our vows.
00:29:38 We're doing the tango.
00:29:40 Sorry. I forgot to turn it off.
00:29:44 Know what? This is an important call.
00:29:46 No, you can take your call here.
00:29:51 It's a business call. It's boring stuff.
00:29:53 Business is not boring.
00:29:56 Sit down.
00:30:00 - Hello.
00:30:02 - Yeah, this is Simon.
00:30:05 I hope Theresa makes good money
00:30:08 Someone started a rumor
00:30:10 by the Securities
00:30:15 That is so Nathan to do something like that.
00:30:18 I think it's Nathan, too...
00:30:20 'cause this is the last thing he wants to see,
00:30:24 You know me.
00:30:27 - I'm always up for a new challenge.
00:30:30 - You've been blackballed.
00:30:33 Guy, it's not my fault.
00:30:37 I'll call you next week.
00:30:38 Did Nathan put you up for another award?
00:30:42 Nothing. It's embarrassing.
00:30:44 - Hello. Can I start you off with some drinks?
00:30:51 Celebrating a great phone call.
00:30:54 Okay. Bring him his liquor,
00:30:58 They have iced tea and I have my lemonade.
00:31:00 Actually, I think I'm gonna have
00:31:04 - And I'll have a Cosmo.
00:31:09 Okay. Bring them their alcohol
00:31:13 Someone has to act responsibly
00:31:16 So, Simon, I hear that you're a singer.
00:31:19 What are you, a soprano, an alto, or...
00:31:23 No? Maybe bass?
00:31:28 I don't really sing.
00:31:29 How long can you hold a note?
00:31:31 He can hold a note.
00:31:33 - Really?
00:31:35 Sing something for me, baby.
00:31:38 Are you okay? Drink some water.
00:31:42 Jerry, Nathan's got my ankles
00:31:42 Jerry, Nathan's got my ankles
00:31:46 I'm gonna need some cash.
00:31:49 Call me back as soon as you get this.
00:32:06 You've got to be kidding me.
00:32:29 "Let me see your sexy body go..."
00:32:35 I knew you'd be down here sooner or later.
00:32:38 Did you bring some of that
00:32:41 What is wrong with you, boy?
00:32:47 You like my space?
00:32:48 Yeah. It's very homey. Interesting odor.
00:32:52 I told you it had mold.
00:32:54 Did you come down here for this?
00:32:58 That's none of your damn business.
00:33:01 I'm just saying, I could maybe help you
00:33:06 Don't start thinking that you know more
00:33:09 With your hand-holding
00:33:11 and wiping off each other's faces.
00:33:13 That's bullshit.
00:33:15 Being married 25 years, that's real romance.
00:33:17 And believe me, it's a war.
00:33:24 Sounds like someone
00:33:28 - Ready for lights out?
00:33:33 - Good night.
00:33:36 - Thank you.
00:33:45 - What are you doing?
00:33:49 - Here? You're sleeping here?
00:33:53 - Don't you have a bed upstairs?
00:33:58 By me sleeping here assures me
00:34:01 all alone. Good night.
00:34:12 Sorry.
00:34:16 - What are you doing under there?
00:34:20 - We might need a barrier.
00:34:23 I tend to move around a lot in my sleep.
00:34:25 How do you know you move around
00:34:27 Theresa mentioned once that...
00:34:30 I mentioned it to her...
00:34:32 after someone else told me...
00:34:35 that wasn't Theresa.
00:34:39 Okay. We can talk about this, right?
00:34:43 - No, you can't talk about it.
00:34:45 - Stop!
00:34:47 I don't wanna hear you talking
00:34:50 You're sleeping with me now.
00:36:03 - Good morning.
00:36:05 You're up early.
00:36:06 Or late, depending on how you look at it.
00:36:10 - Coffee?
00:36:15 I don't know how you sleep with that man.
00:36:17 - Did he get in your space?
00:36:20 Did he spoon you?
00:36:22 It was more of a wedge maneuver.
00:36:26 Big man likes to cuddle in his sleep.
00:36:29 I just wish he were a little bit more cuddly
00:36:33 You know, when my father first met
00:36:37 Really?
00:36:38 But eventually they got along, right?
00:36:41 No.
00:36:43 - Good morning!
00:36:47 Good morning, babe.
00:36:49 - I missed you.
00:36:51 - Did you sleep well?
00:36:58 - Who's going with me to get some flowers?
00:37:02 Me, too, if we go early,
00:37:09 Good morning!
00:37:10 You're looking awfully chipper this morning.
00:37:12 Something about knowing your daughter's
00:37:16 I thought you said
00:37:18 No, not me.
00:37:23 Every single night.
00:37:48 Good morning, boss. Got you some coffee.
00:37:52 - So, what's the verdict?
00:37:55 I'm talking about Theresa's new boyfriend.
00:37:57 What is he, a painter? Poet?
00:38:01 My daughter's got great taste in men.
00:38:06 - Tell me a little bit about the brother.
00:38:10 I'll tell you about the brother.
00:38:13 - What's his name?
00:38:16 - Graduated Howard University.
00:38:19 Played basketball.
00:38:21 He almost went pro.
00:38:24 There was a big write-up on him in Jet
00:38:26 No shit.
00:38:28 Parents from Atlanta.
00:38:29 Friends with Mrs. King,
00:38:33 Come on now.
00:38:35 - Go down towards the middle.
00:38:39 - That's it?
00:38:44 I'm telling you, Reggie.
00:38:47 My daughter's dating the great black hope.
00:38:50 - You got it.
00:38:52 - Hold it right there.
00:38:58 Excuse me? Boss?
00:39:01 Simon Green here to see you.
00:39:05 Lifting, you know.
00:39:11 Cut that off, Reggie. Go on, take it out.
00:39:14 Come on, Reggie.
00:39:17 I'll be right there.
00:39:21 I'll be right out. Give me... Sign something.
00:39:28 - Fred, who is Simon?
00:39:32 Oh, shit.
00:39:35 - Be right with you, sir.
00:39:45 - Jerry? Hey.
00:39:48 Listen. I need you to get me into that
00:39:52 That's $50,000!
00:39:54 Did you inherit a boatload or something?
00:39:56 The initial public offering comes out
00:40:00 I know when it comes out.
00:40:04 Just buy it for me on margin.
00:40:06 Dude, you don't work here anymore.
00:40:09 I need this IPO to hold me over
00:40:12 I know you're really screwed right now...
00:40:14 but do you even have $50,000?
00:40:16 I'm gonna sell off my IRAs, okay?
00:40:20 I can't do margin.
00:40:22 I need cash.
00:40:23 I'm in Jersey right now.
00:40:26 I'm sure one of those chemical plants
00:40:29 All right, look. I'll get the cash.
00:40:31 Cash by Tuesday.
00:40:33 I'll bring it to you personally on Monday.
00:40:35 Don't punk out on me.
00:40:39 - Hey.
00:40:40 What are you doing here?
00:40:42 I feel like we didn't get off
00:40:45 so I thought maybe...
00:40:47 I'd come here and take you to lunch.
00:40:50 I think we bonded just fine around 3:10 this
00:40:55 Right.
00:40:56 I'll buy.
00:40:59 - You want to buy me lunch?
00:41:01 I figured it's the proper thing to do
00:41:08 Okay.
00:41:14 - So, nice bank.
00:41:18 I like the small-town feel.
00:41:22 Somebody needs money,
00:41:25 "Percy, I need a loan."
00:41:28 Right?
00:41:30 And then, of course, you say,
00:41:33 They say, "I don't know.
00:41:38 What, you need $50,000?
00:41:40 - Do I need $50,000?
00:41:43 No. I most assuredly do not.
00:41:46 I was just admiring the process.
00:41:57 How many cylinders does a NASCAR engine
00:42:00 - How...
00:42:02 Six... or eight...
00:42:07 depending on the gas mileage
00:42:12 You never worked in the pit at NASCAR.
00:42:16 All right, you know, fine.
00:42:21 I never really had an aptitude for engines.
00:42:23 Jay... Jeff...
00:42:26 Jeff Gordon didn't really trust me
00:42:30 But you did drive the cars.
00:42:32 - Drive?
00:42:33 - Absolutely.
00:42:56 All right! Fine! I never drove NASCAR!
00:43:00 But I was nervous
00:43:02 You shouldn't have lied.
00:43:05 All right. This is the deal.
00:43:09 If you beat me, I'll loan you the money.
00:43:14 - Really?
00:43:18 I don't need the money!
00:43:47 Move over!
00:43:55 Yeah. Fool!
00:44:10 Sucker!
00:44:51 Move it, man!
00:44:54 What the hell are you doing?
00:45:03 - I think it's obvious who came in first.
00:45:07 - I was through the bushes before...
00:45:12 I was through the bushes
00:45:14 - before you even were at the bushes.
00:45:19 Dispatch, this is 53 Charlie.
00:45:21 Brian, we got a problem.
00:45:27 License and registration.
00:45:33 - Poppy!
00:45:37 Simon, I want you to meet my granddad.
00:45:39 - Hi, there. Howard Jones.
00:45:42 Nice to meet you.
00:45:43 - Hey, Speed Racer.
00:45:45 - What's with the white kid?
00:45:48 Your boyfriend?
00:45:51 - Yes, I did.
00:45:52 - Back at the home.
00:45:54 Okay. Well, I think that's it.
00:45:56 I think you're forgetting about the vodka.
00:45:59 Say grace, Percy.
00:46:03 Thank you, Lord. Amen.
00:46:06 - That was fast.
00:46:09 - Simon, pass on the broccoli, please.
00:46:12 So, what, they don't have any available
00:46:16 They just ran out last week, Grandpa.
00:46:18 I'm just trying to figure out
00:46:22 - Don't mind him.
00:46:24 My grandmother loved you
00:46:26 But later she said some things.
00:46:30 - What kind of things?
00:46:33 Nothing. Just things.
00:46:35 - Such as?
00:46:37 - Daddy? I got it.
00:46:43 You know what?
00:46:45 She said that Theresa was a very pretty girl.
00:46:50 - That's so nice.
00:46:52 So I ask her
00:46:55 She said...
00:46:57 She says, "I just love
00:47:05 - Your grandmother, where does she live?
00:47:08 I just wanna know how far I'd have to travel
00:47:12 Grandpa.
00:47:14 You don't call my grandchild
00:47:16 Did she say that while putting on a sheet
00:47:19 Settle down, now! Hand me the butter.
00:47:21 - My grandmother's not a malicious woman.
00:47:24 She's 82. She comes from a different time.
00:47:27 I'm 74 and I come from a different time.
00:47:29 You don't hear me calling white folks
00:47:32 - Casper.
00:47:33 - Ofay.
00:47:35 - Wonder bread.
00:47:37 Bird shit?
00:47:38 It's almost white.
00:47:40 That's pretty good.
00:47:41 Howard. Percy!
00:47:46 It's okay.
00:47:47 I'm really sorry
00:47:51 but there are some people
00:47:54 - as much as you'd like to.
00:47:55 I can tell you this. Last Thanksgiving...
00:47:58 my Uncle Dave said a black joke
00:48:01 So I said, right in front of the whole family,
00:48:05 "We're not gonna have it."
00:48:09 I think that's how you change people.
00:48:13 Exactly.
00:48:14 What was the joke?
00:48:16 Excuse me?
00:48:19 Tell the joke.
00:48:21 - I don't remember it.
00:48:24 - Really, I don't remember it. It was...
00:48:27 Chicken.
00:48:29 - Excuse me?
00:48:31 Okay, you know what? I'll tell the joke.
00:48:34 - No, Simon. You don't...
00:48:37 I'll tell you why.
00:48:39 Because by not telling the joke,
00:48:44 tell the joke and expose
00:48:48 and crude and unfunny it actually is.
00:48:53 What do you call...
00:48:59 What do you call 100 black men...
00:49:03 buried in the ground up to their neck?
00:49:07 - What?
00:49:12 - That's cute.
00:49:14 - It's cute.
00:49:17 Tell another.
00:49:18 - Dad, no.
00:49:21 I don't know any other ones.
00:49:25 Obviously, I've heard other black jokes,
00:49:30 So it's okay to empower the other ones?
00:49:33 Okay. I see what you're doing here,
00:49:37 It's okay. Look, it's fine.
00:49:40 Back down, Simon.
00:49:41 The only way to break down barriers
00:49:45 - Right?
00:49:46 So, what do you call...
00:49:49 one black man being chased
00:49:54 - What?
00:49:58 I get it.
00:49:59 Tiger Woods. There it is.
00:50:01 That's good.
00:50:03 Tell another one.
00:50:07 How do we know that Adam and Eve
00:50:11 How?
00:50:12 You ever try to take a rib away
00:50:18 That's pretty good.
00:50:19 - That's pretty good.
00:50:23 - You chewing it down to the bone.
00:50:26 - He's a rib fan.
00:50:30 - Tell more.
00:50:31 - Why don't black people like country music?
00:50:34 'Cause every time they say "hoe-down,"
00:50:41 You gonna be all right?
00:50:47 That is so true.
00:50:48 - That's a tailored joke for you.
00:50:51 Ain't nobody talking about you.
00:50:53 - It's a sister joke!
00:50:55 I'm not the "ho sister."
00:50:57 Come on now. Can't stop now, baby.
00:50:59 What are three things
00:51:02 What is that he can't he get?
00:51:06 A black eye, a fat lip, and a job.
00:51:15 I tell you I'm going to kick this boy's ass!
00:51:18 - Grandpa.
00:51:21 We know you can take him,
00:51:25 - Come on, now. It's a joke.
00:51:28 Sit down. It's just a joke.
00:51:31 Come on. Hee-hee, ha-ha. That's all it is.
00:51:37 Now if you'll excuse me...
00:51:39 all of a sudden, I lost my appetite.
00:51:45 Think I'll take a walk.
00:51:56 - I should have stopped at "hoe-down."
00:51:59 This isn't like us at home,
00:52:02 It's my father's house, Simon.
00:52:04 What do you want me to do,
00:52:07 No.
00:52:09 Let the storm pass. It'll be fine.
00:52:13 Besides, he dared you!
00:52:15 - He double-dared! He called me chicken.
00:52:17 - I can't be called chicken.
00:52:21 You know? I'm fresh out of ideas
00:52:26 Telling black jokes is never a good idea,
00:52:29 You think?
00:52:36 I'll talk to him.
00:52:42 Say nice things about me.
00:52:44 No, I'm not going to say nice things
00:52:47 Baby, I'm a good guy.
00:52:54 Why are you being so mean to me?
00:52:56 - My grandfather's out there.
00:52:58 - This is my mom's kitchen!
00:53:01 You're still gonna do the dishes.
00:53:05 - Get off me.
00:53:08 Here, do the broccoli one.
00:53:12 - Dad, I have to talk to you.
00:53:16 - Why did you do that?
00:53:18 Dad, Simon's a good man.
00:53:21 - A good man?
00:53:23 You really think so?
00:53:25 What is your problem with him anyways?
00:53:27 Besides the fact, of course, that he's white.
00:53:29 You gonna get in a heap of trouble
00:53:33 Don't care nothing about that man
00:53:37 What? NASCAR?
00:53:39 You thought I didn't know?
00:53:42 Of course I knew.
00:53:47 Daddy, I love him,
00:53:51 Then you respect me enough to tell me
00:53:54 - I didn't think you'd care.
00:53:57 - So you decided to test me.
00:53:59 - So you're looking for a reaction?
00:54:01 So what are you looking for?
00:54:02 I'm looking for you to tell me
00:54:14 I'm scared.
00:54:17 Okay?
00:54:19 I'm really scared, Dad.
00:54:22 I know things are different now
00:54:25 but you should really hear the kind of things
00:54:29 And the way they look at us.
00:54:33 I need you to tell me
00:54:38 Baby, me telling you it's okay
00:54:42 Dad. But it would change my world.
00:54:44 It will change my world
00:54:48 I'm always behind you, sweetheart.
00:54:51 And I love you.
00:54:54 It's my job to keep you safe.
00:54:57 And I don't trust that kid.
00:55:16 - Hey, baby.
00:55:18 I'm trying to figure out where he got
00:55:21 What do white people do, take a class...
00:55:24 sit around and think of new jokes
00:55:26 I don't know, Percy.
00:55:28 You need to let that one go.
00:55:31 Come on, sweetheart.
00:55:34 I told you. I ain't doing no doggone tango.
00:55:36 Why? You think you can't dance anymore?
00:55:39 No. I think the tango's a stupid dance
00:55:45 Marilyn...
00:55:47 why can't we do the hustle?
00:55:51 Because the hustle is a stupid dance...
00:55:54 and I want to do the tango.
00:56:00 Look here, woman,
00:56:03 I gotta take Dad back to the home.
00:56:08 - I'll be back.
00:57:58 Shut up!
00:58:02 All right, stop.
00:58:06 - Okay.
00:58:07 This is the exact spot
00:58:10 No! I'm not going to kiss you in the spot
00:58:14 - No.
00:58:17 It's some other guy's spot.
00:58:21 Fine.
00:58:23 - What was his name?
00:58:25 He had these big old Bucky Beaver teeth.
00:58:27 But he was such a nice boy.
00:58:30 - Better than me?
00:58:33 - Way better?
00:58:34 - Did he grab your ass?
00:58:36 - Squeeze it?
00:58:38 - Grab you down here?
00:58:43 - Slow down.
00:58:48 - There's a car! Get out of the way!
00:58:58 Okay, be careful.
00:59:03 So, this is my favorite spot.
00:59:06 It's pretty amazing, huh?
00:59:09 All right, so it's not...
00:59:11 the top of the world, but it's nice.
00:59:16 It's a fort.
00:59:19 It's a gun placement.
00:59:22 When I was little, I would sneak
00:59:26 and just come out here and just dream.
00:59:30 Yeah?
00:59:32 Weren't you afraid of sneaking
00:59:35 Please. I'm not afraid of Percy Jones.
00:59:38 Well, that makes you and... you.
00:59:46 Okay, so this is just Cranford.
00:59:49 But it's a great place to grow up.
00:59:57 You know, maybe we shouldn't do this.
01:00:00 What? Live in the suburbs?
01:00:02 No. Tell your parents
01:00:07 Simon, I told you not to look at him
01:00:12 I don't think Percy Jones is ready.
01:00:15 I think Percy Jones needs more time.
01:00:18 A lot more time for Percy Jones.
01:00:21 - Are you getting cold feet, Simon?
01:00:25 No, I'm not getting cold feet.
01:00:28 I can't wait to marry you.
01:00:31 Make babies with you.
01:00:34 Give me a daughter that looks just like you.
01:00:41 I can work on that.
01:00:43 - Yeah?
01:00:45 And hopefully, I can be a good dad.
01:00:49 I think you'll be a great dad.
01:00:51 You're never gonna be
01:00:58 Maybe I can be like yours.
01:01:00 - Like Percy?
01:01:02 - No.
01:01:05 He's there for you.
01:01:07 He cares about you. He loves you so much.
01:01:10 He does.
01:01:12 We just have to get him to love you.
01:01:14 Maybe we can start by getting him to take
01:01:19 It's not going to happen.
01:01:23 Why don't you give me
01:01:25 I can't believe I told you that.
01:01:26 - Come on, baby, a little Bucky Beaver?
01:01:30 No. How about some Simon Green?
01:02:07 Marilyn, you cut off the porch light?
01:02:16 That's my girl.
01:02:25 Very stylish.
01:02:26 I need to take a quarter inch off the pants.
01:02:30 What, you mean take the pants off?
01:02:32 I could do with you in them
01:02:35 You keep your eyes on the pants,
01:02:48 Mr. Jones, do you know
01:02:51 What are you, blind?
01:02:53 - When you go out, close the door.
01:02:55 Percy, put some pants on.
01:02:58 - Thank you.
01:03:02 How long's it gonna take?
01:03:03 - Two shakes of a lamb's tail.
01:03:06 Mercy, Percy! Keep your shirt on!
01:03:08 Or take it off. Whatever.
01:03:10 Could someone answer
01:03:17 - Jones residence.
01:03:21 - This is Theresa's boyfriend.
01:03:25 - Percy told me all about you.
01:03:28 My name is Reggie.
01:03:31 He did?
01:03:33 You know what we should do?
01:03:37 I don't really play hoops.
01:03:39 Come on, man. Don't be shy.
01:03:42 Percy told me that you went to Howard.
01:03:46 - He said that?
01:03:47 He was bragging all about you, Jamal.
01:03:51 two things.
01:03:54 of Jet for me? And the other thing is,
01:03:58 When I say love to meet them,
01:04:02 - I'll see what I can do.
01:04:05 Let me get Percy for you.
01:04:07 You know, in the '80s and whatnot and...
01:04:09 - It's for you. It's Reggie.
01:04:13 - May I have some privacy, please?
01:04:17 - And shut the door.
01:04:19 Theo...
01:04:22 Reggie. What did you find out?
01:04:24 You were right about Simon Green.
01:04:27 Come on. Give me my pants.
01:04:30 - Jamal, huh?
01:04:32 This isn't about me. It's about you
01:04:36 - What?
01:04:39 Hey, baby!
01:04:41 Theresa! Come here, sweetheart.
01:04:44 - Don't listen to him.
01:04:46 Your boyfriend's unemployed, lost his job.
01:04:50 I did not get fired! I quit!
01:04:52 You quit? Why didn't you tell me this?
01:04:54 - It's complicated.
01:04:57 I'm a liar?
01:05:01 - Jamal?
01:05:03 - He's good friends with the Cosbys.
01:05:05 That was nothing, and I admitted it.
01:05:08 - You admitted that you lied.
01:05:11 At least I can drive.
01:05:13 This crazy ass almost got us arrested.
01:05:16 I can't believe you checked up on me.
01:05:17 - You kept asking me for money.
01:05:20 - You asked my father for money?
01:05:24 - I did not. He trapped me into it.
01:05:26 You were checking up on him?
01:05:28 He forced my hand.
01:05:31 - That's not for you to decide.
01:05:32 And what about you, lying to me?
01:05:35 You ain't gotta go over there.
01:05:37 I thought I could get another job.
01:05:38 I was gonna tell you,
01:05:41 You said we would
01:05:43 Like how you told your parents
01:05:47 - I knew they wouldn't care about that.
01:05:50 That's bullshit! You care.
01:05:55 That means that you care that I'm black?
01:05:57 - Do you?
01:06:00 No. It doesn't matter what I say.
01:06:04 - You hear that? "You people."
01:06:08 The people in the yard.
01:06:13 That's what I'm... See?
01:06:16 - No, Simon, you're a liar.
01:06:20 Where do you get off calling me a racist?
01:06:23 - You had a black girlfriend!
01:06:25 Past tense! Had!
01:06:28 - What the hell is going on?
01:06:31 - He got fired from J.P. Oliver!
01:06:34 - I told you to stay out of Theresa's life.
01:06:37 He can't just walk in our house,
01:06:39 - I'm not lying!
01:06:43 - The party's off, Percy.
01:06:46 I don't want to say my vows with you.
01:06:49 Marilyn, we're saying
01:06:51 - Yeah, he got a book and everything.
01:06:55 You got your vows out of a book?
01:06:57 No. Don't listen to him! I got a book.
01:07:01 - He wrote it down word for word.
01:07:03 - That is so pathetic!
01:07:05 Because if memory serves me correctly,
01:07:09 You still are!
01:07:10 You'd be inspiration to me. He neglects you.
01:07:12 Marilyn, get your ass back here!
01:07:15 I got a $200 cake coming tomorrow!
01:07:17 Sixty pounds of shrimp!
01:07:21 I had to take a second on the house!
01:07:23 - She looked angry.
01:07:26 You gonna force me to use the muscle!
01:07:28 Hope you like seafood.
01:07:37 Theresa! Wait!
01:07:41 Come on!
01:07:44 - They'll be back.
01:07:46 They gotta come back.
01:07:49 Come on, baby. Pick it up.
01:07:52 Answer that phone, sweetheart,
01:07:58 Let me borrow your car.
01:08:00 What? You can't go chasing behind
01:08:04 Besides, you can't even drive
01:08:10 Trouble in paradise?
01:08:26 Baby, we need to talk about this.
01:08:29 You should call me
01:08:31 because adults communicate
01:08:34 I'm looking at your photos on the wall
01:08:38 Beautiful photos. I don't think that
01:08:42 You know what? You're being rude.
01:08:50 Baby, I'm sorry. You're not being rude.
01:08:52 You have all the reason in the world
01:08:55 You shouldn't be calling me back.
01:08:59 Baby, call me back.
01:09:01 Call me back, baby.
01:09:03 I'm looking at your bulletin board
01:09:06 sitting next to a guy and I think
01:09:09 He looks like he's got Bucky Beaver teeth.
01:09:11 He looks a lot older than 13!
01:09:14 So I don't know how you feel about it,
01:09:17 Old Curtis Booker can go bye-bye!
01:09:22 Baby, do you have any Scotch Tape?
01:09:24 You're acting like I cheated on you,
01:09:27 except for that one time with myself,
01:09:45 Hello.
01:09:46 Darlene! How you doing?
01:09:49 I'm looking for Marilyn. She left a little
01:09:53 - I'm sorry. Now, who is this?
01:09:57 I'm sorry, Percy.
01:09:59 Baby, you say you looking for Marilyn?
01:10:02 - Have you seen her?
01:10:04 What'd you say to my sister, Percy Jones?
01:10:07 Nothing.
01:10:09 Listen, if you hear from her,
01:10:12 Will do. And I look forward to seeing you
01:10:16 - Yeah, it should be a lot of fun.
01:10:30 Girl!
01:10:32 You will never guess
01:10:36 - Who?
01:10:39 Percy A. Who?
01:10:42 Yeah, well, baby, he is feeling the pain now!
01:10:46 Mom. Is that gonna be your last one?
01:10:49 It might be, baby. And it might not.
01:10:52 You should be over there
01:10:55 I should be over there trying to work it out
01:10:59 Child, leave your mom alone.
01:11:03 Your man quit his job and didn't tell you.
01:11:06 - Got to nip that shit in the bud.
01:11:08 No. But... Look, I have 15 missed calls.
01:11:11 - Fifteen, Mom. Fifteen!
01:11:14 Your baby got 15 missed calls!
01:11:16 - Bullshit. Let him wait!
01:11:19 I'm gonna call him now.
01:11:20 - No, you're not!
01:11:23 Child, you take your finger off that trigger!
01:11:26 Did he lie to you, Theresa?
01:11:29 Yes, he did.
01:11:31 So, if you don't want him to do it again,
01:11:36 Look, honey, and if you want him
01:11:41 My God, if what he's giving you
01:11:43 and then you still don't want him,
01:11:51 - All right, one more!
01:11:53 There you go, baby!
01:12:00 Here's to you, baby.
01:12:05 I gotta go to work in the morning. Hello?
01:12:09 - Sorry, Marcus.
01:12:14 You want a taste?
01:12:24 Thank you, Marcus.
01:12:28 This is my house.
01:12:52 - She won't answer the phone.
01:12:57 - Can I get something to drink?
01:12:59 Yes. Vodka. I would like some vodka.
01:13:03 Sorry, Charlie. No vodka.
01:13:05 There's gotta be something around here.
01:13:09 Is throwing a party.
01:13:10 - Was.
01:13:11 - Party's off, dude.
01:13:14 You won't find no liquor in here.
01:13:17 Bingo.
01:13:21 With a house full of sinners.
01:13:23 Marilyn's got good taste in vodka.
01:13:26 Give me that. Give it here.
01:13:31 - Can I at least have a little bit?
01:13:35 Just a taste.
01:13:38 Come around here and get those
01:13:45 Who's playing?
01:13:47 Played. That's history.
01:13:50 New York Giants' first Super Bowl win.
01:13:52 Talking about Phil Simms. L.T.
01:14:02 You ever play?
01:14:06 - I told you before, no.
01:14:18 All right, let's do it.
01:14:20 Do what?
01:14:31 - Fumble!
01:14:34 Touchdown! Yeah, baby.
01:14:38 - This is where your hands go.
01:14:40 - You're on the bottom. I'm on the top.
01:14:43 Okay, so you hold this frame.
01:14:45 One and step. Right.
01:14:48 - I'm leading.
01:14:49 Back. Nice. Step.
01:14:51 Left. Good. Double-time.
01:14:56 - Okay, no. See? This is...
01:14:58 - You're screwing around.
01:15:00 You're getting crazy here,
01:15:02 There must be space between us.
01:15:04 You can't be, like, up here.
01:15:06 You're not holding your frame.
01:15:09 - Okay, so back up.
01:15:11 Yes, I used to help her in the dance studio
01:15:14 - Step. Two.
01:15:17 No. I didn't get fired from this job. I quit.
01:15:21 Was it over money? Because if it wasn't,
01:15:24 I had a difference of opinion
01:15:27 They weren't ready for a guy like me.
01:15:32 I don't get it.
01:15:33 And heads. No, you're doing great.
01:15:35 I ain't talking about this.
01:15:38 You ain't got nothing in common.
01:15:41 For example:
01:15:44 You don't like sports. Theresa loves sports.
01:15:47 You're a businessman. She's an artist.
01:15:50 You're white. She's black.
01:15:54 No. That's just it. She's everything I'm not.
01:15:59 You know, she's my other half.
01:16:03 You know, the thing
01:16:06 you're walking around,
01:16:09 you think that you're whole.
01:16:10 Then you realize you ain't shit without her.
01:16:13 Then you can't go back to being a half...
01:16:14 'cause now you know what it's like
01:16:17 You know what I mean?
01:16:19 Yeah, I do.
01:16:24 And I still got it.
01:16:26 - That was nice.
01:16:27 - I liked the snap.
01:16:29 - I think you hurt me.
01:16:35 Good morning.
01:16:37 Looks like I missed a fun night.
01:16:39 - Just sitting up here, watching football.
01:16:44 - Where's Marilyn?
01:16:48 She must be really mad.
01:16:50 Wait. You knew where they were
01:16:53 Yeah. I thought they'd be back by now.
01:16:54 - Did you apologize?
01:16:56 Exactly!
01:16:58 Dante, please. Don't try to play
01:17:03 Okay. All right.
01:17:07 Let's go get them.
01:17:10 You don't understand.
01:17:12 They done called all their friends
01:17:16 They've worked themselves up
01:17:20 - How many women?
01:17:23 Sisters.
01:17:25 You can't just walk in on a bunch
01:17:29 Well, we'll just have to go out like men.
01:17:33 - He's right, Percy.
01:17:36 But I'm still scared.
01:17:38 - Keep talking. What are you saying?
01:17:40 - I'm liking it.
01:17:42 You gonna share your colors?
01:17:45 You're one of them sisters
01:17:47 No, I'm not.
01:17:48 Give up your secrets, honey.
01:17:49 This is gorgeous. Pink Passion.
01:17:53 A little Pink Passion?
01:17:54 You know what I always say?
01:17:55 A little bit of makeup, a little bit of hair
01:17:59 How did I know
01:18:07 - Yes, they're in there.
01:18:09 Are you crazy? I'm the one
01:18:13 You just pay attention.
01:18:15 Here, straighten yourself up.
01:18:17 If you go up in there,
01:18:20 - Wipe this off.
01:18:22 Thank you. Yeah.
01:18:25 - Man, I'm not gonna...
01:18:35 Well, well, well.
01:18:37 - Lf it isn't Mr. Percy Jones.
01:18:40 It's about time you showed up.
01:18:42 - What's up?
01:18:47 - Percy.
01:18:50 Marilyn, may I speak to you in private
01:18:53 so the ladies can continue eating?
01:18:55 Oh, no! You go on home with that.
01:18:57 - It's not going down like that, my brother.
01:19:00 You know better than that, Percy.
01:19:04 In front of everybody.
01:19:06 Step up to the chalk line and be a man.
01:19:12 I married you, didn't I?
01:19:15 - Hell, no!
01:19:17 That don't count for nothing!
01:19:18 It really doesn't count.
01:19:20 - Come on, man.
01:19:28 Oh, hell.
01:19:30 I was wrong, okay?
01:19:31 - It's a good start, Percy.
01:19:33 I've been wrong for a long time.
01:19:36 Ever since I forgot...
01:19:40 that you are my better half.
01:19:42 Hell, Marilyn, you're everything I'm not.
01:19:46 Without you, I'm not whole.
01:19:50 Look. Let...
01:19:57 Baby, before I met you,
01:19:59 And then you came into my life,
01:20:07 Wasn't even half of that.
01:20:09 I might have been a quarter of that.
01:20:11 But then you left me last night!
01:20:13 And, baby, I remembered
01:20:16 And let me tell you something.
01:20:20 - Dad.
01:20:21 And I forgot about that.
01:20:24 And I'm sorry.
01:20:31 Baby, marry me.
01:20:33 Make me whole again.
01:20:35 - I love you, Percy.
01:20:39 - That's what I'm talking about, baby.
01:20:42 Kiss your baby.
01:20:43 - I missed you so much.
01:20:45 I couldn't sleep at all last night.
01:20:49 I feel so much better!
01:20:51 - Isn't that lovely?
01:21:03 I guess it's my turn.
01:21:06 All right.
01:21:09 That's going to be a tough speech to follow.
01:21:13 - It was a great speech, Perce.
01:21:15 - I had something similar in mind.
01:21:19 Admitting you were wrong
01:21:22 Yes, it would.
01:21:25 Right.
01:21:28 Go ahead, man.
01:21:31 Baby, I was wrong!
01:21:34 What are you doing?
01:21:38 I want to see your sexy body
01:21:41 We have to talk in private.
01:21:44 I don't wanna hear it. No. Mom?
01:21:48 Just stay here and talk about it
01:21:50 Ladies, please.
01:21:52 Take your man
01:21:55 That's right.
01:21:57 Go on.
01:21:59 Thank you.
01:22:00 - Don't let him work on you.
01:22:03 - Did he say "bump, bump, bump"?
01:22:06 It's all your fault!
01:22:07 Those kids are in love and they finally
01:22:11 My love right here.
01:22:15 Lord have mercy.
01:22:22 Baby.
01:22:24 Come on.
01:22:29 I was trying to impress your father.
01:22:31 I didn't want to show up here
01:22:34 I've never lied to you before
01:22:38 You lied about asking my father for a loan.
01:22:41 That was an omission that was tied
01:22:44 And I look like an idiot to you.
01:22:46 No. You look a little bit
01:22:51 I can't believe you're trying to be funny.
01:22:53 - Baby, come on.
01:22:56 Don't touch me!
01:22:59 You need to calm down.
01:23:01 You made me look like an asshole in there.
01:23:04 I think you were doing
01:23:06 Not telling them about me?
01:23:09 And then I pitched in and I blew it, okay?
01:23:12 I panicked when I found out
01:23:14 I thought if I could score this IPO, I'd have
01:23:18 - But I was doing that for you.
01:23:22 I don't need you to take care of me.
01:23:23 I want you to do things with me,
01:23:26 - Will you just talk to me?
01:23:29 - You're talking at me.
01:23:31 But you need to talk to me and tell me
01:23:35 when you don't trust me enough
01:23:37 How do we get past this, with this skin,
01:23:41 - Okay, I'm always gonna be the white boy.
01:23:45 But at least I'm here and willing to deal
01:23:49 I don't know. And eventually, if you're
01:23:53 I'm standing right here!
01:23:55 What more do you want from me?
01:23:58 I've been here busting my ass
01:24:00 Then let me make this easy for you!
01:24:04 Fine.
01:24:05 - Good.
01:24:10 Great.
01:24:28 I'm in Jersey!
01:24:34 - Okay, stand still now.
01:24:39 You all right?
01:24:43 I'm fine.
01:24:45 I'm great. It's going to be a great day, Dad.
01:24:48 - It sure is.
01:24:52 - So you better smile big for me, okay?
01:24:55 And no crying.
01:24:59 I was not crying, I was sweating...
01:25:01 from my eyeballs.
01:25:03 Hell, I was nervous.
01:25:06 A 25-year mistake.
01:25:09 And going for 25 more.
01:25:13 Sweetheart?
01:25:15 Why don't you call that man?
01:25:17 You know he got his cell phone on.
01:25:19 He's probably waiting on the 5:15 train.
01:25:22 We got a party going on.
01:25:25 How many missed calls you have last night?
01:25:26 Thirty-three.
01:25:28 - Thirty-three?
01:25:30 - Thirty-three?
01:25:32 Thirty-three missed calls?
01:25:36 And you know the man is unemployed, yes,
01:25:41 Thirty-three missed calls?
01:25:45 - Girl, don't be so proud.
01:25:48 Pride ain't nothing
01:25:51 It's not that.
01:25:53 - It's not?
01:26:06 - I was going to marry him.
01:26:10 We were going to announce
01:26:22 So, you see?
01:26:24 I have you to thank...
01:26:25 because you saved me from a big heartache.
01:26:31 Sweetheart, I just don't
01:26:34 - Why did Simon quit his job?
01:26:37 Why would a man quit his job on the day
01:26:41 Maybe he got tired of waiting
01:26:46 Simon's a rising star, Dad.
01:26:50 - He really is.
01:26:53 But that boss of his is just not a nice man.
01:26:56 - You ever met him?
01:26:59 He was always friendly, kind of.
01:27:02 But he always had
01:27:07 Just not a nice man.
01:27:10 But he was Simon's mentor, so...
01:27:13 Whatever.
01:27:16 Let it go.
01:27:18 Today is about you and Mom.
01:27:22 Now, first picture of the night.
01:27:25 - Let me get my... On my good side.
01:27:29 I don't want Mom to see me like this.
01:27:34 - I love you, Dad.
01:28:01 Damn!
01:28:09 No.
01:28:10 Do not do this to me, Percy Jones!
01:28:12 We have a schedule! Tick-tock.
01:28:16 I'll be right back.
01:28:17 - Timing!
01:28:19 - In 10 minutes?
01:28:21 How so?
01:28:23 I'm sorry.
01:28:27 I certainly have heard
01:28:29 Nice to meet you.
01:28:31 - Does Marilyn know you're going AWOL?
01:28:35 She does not.
01:29:48 So you missed your train, huh?
01:29:52 - There's another one at 6:00.
01:29:56 I should have been on that one.
01:30:02 What are you doing here?
01:30:04 I know why you quit your job.
01:30:07 You told your boss you was coming here
01:30:09 "Don't marry that black girl."
01:30:14 Those weren't exactly the words.
01:30:20 How did you know we were getting married?
01:30:22 I told you, son.
01:30:26 - Theresa told you.
01:30:31 Come on, man. Let's get real.
01:30:32 What you did with your boss
01:30:37 and stupid.
01:30:38 You can't quit your job every time
01:30:42 You'll never make any money.
01:30:51 - How do you do 25 years?
01:30:57 No, seriously.
01:30:59 If you're gonna marry one of these women,
01:31:03 All you can do is admit that you're wrong
01:31:08 - She's right?
01:31:09 - Always?
01:31:10 - Right.
01:31:12 All right.
01:31:14 Okay, what about all the talk
01:31:16 Do you love her? Do you want her?
01:31:19 Then she's always right.
01:31:28 Look, I know I didn't give you a fair shake.
01:31:31 And I was wrong.
01:31:35 And my daughter,
01:31:45 I'm not a quitter, Mr. Jones.
01:31:48 I think I know that about you.
01:31:51 Theresa doesn't.
01:31:54 You just have to show her
01:31:57 You know she's hot-headed.
01:32:04 Every man gets to choose his destiny, son.
01:32:08 No matter what his father did.
01:32:27 And, Percy, you are not perfect.
01:32:30 But that works for me because
01:32:33 might be too much.
01:32:36 And sometimes you bark
01:32:39 but I always see the boy I married
01:32:42 And I only wish I loved him
01:32:51 I love him more.
01:32:53 Thank you, Marilyn. That was lovely.
01:32:55 Percy? Your vows?
01:33:02 Marilyn Jones.
01:33:04 Everyone knows I didn't write my vows.
01:33:09 Everyone knows because you kept
01:33:12 crying to all your friends. You know?
01:33:15 Now, look here, woman. I love you.
01:33:19 But you didn't have to do me like that
01:33:21 You know I don't like writing.
01:33:26 I'm not a wordsmith.
01:33:28 I do numbers. That's me. I don't do words.
01:33:32 Damn it, I do money.
01:33:35 And after 25 years, all I've asked you...
01:33:40 is to let me be me.
01:33:46 You'll never find
01:33:50 As long as you shall live
01:33:53 Oh, Lord.
01:33:54 Someone to love you
01:33:56 Love you, love you
01:33:58 Tender like I do
01:34:00 Tender like I do
01:34:01 You know that about me, woman.
01:34:03 You'll never find
01:34:07 No matter where you search
01:34:09 I'm not looking.
01:34:10 Someone to care about you
01:34:12 Care about you, care about you
01:34:14 The way I do
01:34:19 Oh, I'm not bragging on myself, baby
01:34:23 But I'm the only one that loves you
01:34:29 I think I forgot what love is
01:34:33 Give that man another chance, daughter.
01:34:36 You'll never find
01:34:41 Simon!
01:34:42 Yes, Simon.
01:34:44 It'll take the end of all time
01:34:48 Someone who understands you
01:34:52 Like I do
01:34:56 That's not Jamal.
01:35:04 I could probably find a million reasons
01:35:09 But you know what? I don't care.
01:35:13 I don't care, either.
01:35:16 I love you.
01:35:17 And I'm sorry that I lied to you.
01:35:20 I'm sorry, too.
01:35:23 You're sorry?
01:35:26 - Can you say that again?
01:35:29 You're sorry? She said she was sorry.
01:35:32 I'm sorry, Simon.
01:35:35 - Get your man, girl!
01:35:43 Ladies and gentlemen,
01:35:45 to introduce to you all
01:35:50 He's broke, unemployed, and he's white.
01:35:54 But he loves my Theresa
01:35:57 That's right.
01:35:58 Welcome to the family, son.
01:36:05 And cue the magic.
01:36:14 Look at this.
01:36:15 Will you look at that shit?
01:36:18 Drink up! Enjoy!
01:36:22 Welcome, man.
01:36:41 - Let's watch the tango.
01:36:45 - All right. Get your feet off the table.
01:36:53 - I look pretty good out there.
01:36:56 Baby, you look so good
01:37:00 Oh, yeah, there you go, there you go.
01:37:04 All right, you blew that part.
01:37:05 - That was perfect.
01:37:08 - You did it better the night before.
01:37:10 - What happened?
01:37:13 - Really?
01:37:15 You're hallucinating, Simon.
01:37:18 Taught him everything he knows.
01:37:19 Percy Jones was born
01:37:22 And let me tell you something
01:37:24 - It's a structured dance.
01:37:32 What was that, Mom?
01:37:33 You know what that is, Theresa.
01:37:37 - Damn, Mama, you still got it.
01:37:39 All right now, watch this.
01:37:42 - Go, Percy! It's your birthday!
01:37:48 - Let's watch the vows.
01:37:49 - Watch the party.
01:37:55 - There you are.
01:37:57 I was just shocked you didn't fall down.
01:38:00 That is cold.
01:38:01 Look. Check me out. I am doing the hustle.
01:38:04 I'm doing the hustle in your honor,
01:38:06 That ain't no damn hustle.
01:38:08 - You ain't even doing that right.
01:38:11 Blacks have overbites, too.
01:38:13 - He's doing a great hustle!
01:38:19 - Why is my man looking at your ass?
01:38:22 Why is your man Samoan?
01:38:23 - Where is Manu these days?
01:38:27 - Thank you, Jesus.
01:38:30 I only started going out with him
01:38:32 And, girl, please. He is too big.
01:38:36 - Watch your mouth!
01:38:37 Do not use the word "bone" in my house.
01:38:50 - Where were you all going?
01:38:53 Your mother and I
01:38:56 No. You're old enough to know.
01:38:58 We going to shake some sheets.
01:39:00 I thought you said no bone in the house!
01:39:03 No!
01:39:05 If everyone wants to see the lift,
01:39:08 We're doing the lift!
01:39:09 This is good.
01:39:11 No. I was so sure
01:39:14 I love you!
01:39:15 This is Dirty Dancing.
01:39:18 Look at that.
01:39:19 - Who's the man?
01:39:22 No, I only do that with you.
01:39:28 I know that hurt.
01:39:30 See that move right there.
01:39:33 Let me call your mama right now
01:39:37 - That's a low blow.
01:39:40 - Simon!
01:39:47 We're down!
01:39:49 Good thing is, she didn't break that dress.
01:39:51 No, she didn't,
01:39:55 They gotta go deep.
01:39:56 - I knew better.
01:39:59 - That was a great party.
01:40:01 Yeah, I guess a party not a party