|
Guest House Paradiso
|
| 00:00:31 |
You bastards... |
| 00:00:35 |
(Alarm bleeps) |
| 00:00:40 |
(Grunts and groans) |
| 00:00:45 |
(Alarm stops) |
| 00:00:50 |
(Alarm rings) |
| 00:00:55 |
(Teasmaid whistles) |
| 00:00:58 |
Aaaarrggghh! Aaaarrrgghhh! |
| 00:01:01 |
(Scream echoes) |
| 00:01:06 |
Eddie! |
| 00:01:11 |
Eddie! Another bloody day. |
| 00:01:16 |
(Eddie's voice) 'Righty-dokey, skip.' |
| 00:01:47 |
(Bones creak) |
| 00:02:32 |
(Tyres screech) |
| 00:03:19 |
Ow! (Squeals) |
| 00:03:23 |
Oh! |
| 00:04:06 |
Eddie! |
| 00:04:09 |
Eddie?! |
| 00:04:12 |
Come along. It's the early bird |
| 00:04:26 |
(Eddie) 'Running all the way.' |
| 00:04:28 |
(Record scratches) |
| 00:05:02 |
(Whispers) Damn. |
| 00:05:03 |
(Door opens) |
| 00:05:07 |
(Woman) Well, really. |
| 00:05:09 |
Good morning, room four. |
| 00:05:13 |
Yes, I know. I'm just giving |
| 00:05:17 |
before your proper alarm call in... |
| 00:05:21 |
That's right. Exactly |
| 00:05:26 |
Oh! Mr Johnson and MS Harding. |
| 00:05:30 |
The common-law couple. |
| 00:05:34 |
Rather a rough night, actually. |
| 00:05:36 |
Oh...well, the perils of adultery. |
| 00:05:43 |
And you're not too tired to make |
| 00:05:48 |
I trust you both washed? |
| 00:05:50 |
Actually, the water was cold. |
| 00:05:52 |
That's no reason not to wash. |
| 00:05:57 |
We invented cold showers |
| 00:06:02 |
Oh! Oh! Perhaps that's why you're |
| 00:06:33 |
(Horn honks) |
| 00:06:52 |
(Hacking cough) |
| 00:07:24 |
Nearly home. |
| 00:07:46 |
(Dings bell) |
| 00:07:48 |
Ah, there you are, Eddie. |
| 00:07:50 |
Here are some bills. You handle them. |
| 00:07:56 |
Righty-dokey, skip. |
| 00:07:58 |
Have you cleaned your teeth |
| 00:08:09 |
- Could I have a word? |
| 00:08:13 |
I haven't got my hand on you. |
| 00:08:16 |
I've got security cameras, |
| 00:08:19 |
- I've got the evidence. |
| 00:08:23 |
- You're a liar, Mr Jones. |
| 00:08:26 |
It's pronounced "Thwaite". |
| 00:08:28 |
Well, it's spelled Twat. |
| 00:08:32 |
Keep your voice down, please. |
| 00:08:36 |
Now, if you'll allow me |
| 00:08:41 |
before you so rudely interrupted... |
| 00:08:43 |
Ahem. |
| 00:08:54 |
There. Now, what is all |
| 00:08:58 |
I'm trying to get some breakfast |
| 00:09:02 |
Shirt and tie, |
| 00:09:05 |
Hard to spot, I know. Have you been |
| 00:09:09 |
Yes, but he's not there. |
| 00:09:12 |
Pascal! |
| 00:09:21 |
Pascal! |
| 00:09:32 |
See what I mean? |
| 00:09:36 |
Pascal! |
| 00:09:41 |
Chef, you seen Pascal? |
| 00:09:43 |
Pascal! |
| 00:09:46 |
(Board creaks and gas hisses) |
| 00:09:48 |
Chef, I said fix this. |
| 00:09:50 |
- It's a fire hazard. |
| 00:09:54 |
Very good, Chef, carry on. |
| 00:10:00 |
Look, may we order straightaway?! |
| 00:10:03 |
Yes, yes, yes! |
| 00:10:07 |
Oh! |
| 00:10:09 |
Ahh, morning, Mrs Foxfur. |
| 00:10:11 |
Morning, Twat. |
| 00:10:17 |
Eddie! What are you doing? |
| 00:10:20 |
I'm just...filing the bills. |
| 00:10:23 |
Oh. Have you seen Pascal? |
| 00:10:25 |
Uh, no. |
| 00:10:27 |
You'lI have to help |
| 00:10:29 |
I'll phone the psychiatric hospital |
| 00:10:33 |
Righty-dokey, skip. I'm your man. |
| 00:10:35 |
(TV) '..still searching |
| 00:10:38 |
'the ltalian filmstar who disappeared |
| 00:10:41 |
'much to the dismay |
| 00:10:44 |
'the ltalian playboy and ex-racing |
| 00:10:47 |
'You English fuckers!' |
| 00:10:49 |
'..who is currently fighting |
| 00:10:52 |
'to face drug smuggling charges. |
| 00:10:54 |
'Ms Carbonara shot to fame |
| 00:10:58 |
'with a heart of gold in the film |
| 00:11:03 |
'The film, |
| 00:11:06 |
'took $160 million worldwide and |
| 00:11:11 |
(Zip) |
| 00:11:13 |
'Her car was discovered |
| 00:11:15 |
(Chef) Why you no pay me?! |
| 00:11:18 |
(Sobs) |
| 00:11:21 |
It's three months since you bring me |
| 00:11:26 |
And why you sack Pascal?! |
| 00:11:29 |
Get back in there or I'll tell |
| 00:11:33 |
Yes - visa! |
| 00:11:35 |
And I didn't sack Pascal. I was about |
| 00:11:43 |
Remember your condition, darling. |
| 00:11:49 |
Wine? |
| 00:11:50 |
It's a bit early, isn't it? |
| 00:11:52 |
What about an aperitif, then? |
| 00:11:57 |
What? No, thank you. What we'd |
| 00:12:02 |
Oh. |
| 00:12:04 |
If he does show up, give him |
| 00:12:08 |
and send him back! |
| 00:12:11 |
I eat your bacon! |
| 00:12:14 |
I eat your trifle! |
| 00:12:19 |
I drink your sherry! |
| 00:12:23 |
And what I can't eat... |
| 00:12:27 |
You big, fat bastard make me sad! |
| 00:12:32 |
(Grinding and smashing) |
| 00:12:35 |
I can particularly recommend |
| 00:12:38 |
- Which one? |
| 00:12:42 |
It's a bit early for us. |
| 00:12:44 |
What are you doing up, then? |
| 00:12:46 |
Too early for wine, Eddie. |
| 00:12:50 |
Help Chef? But you know |
| 00:12:54 |
This is an emergency - |
| 00:12:58 |
you do Pascal's job in there, OK? |
| 00:13:01 |
OK. |
| 00:13:03 |
Now, what would you like? |
| 00:13:06 |
(Banging and shouting) |
| 00:13:20 |
(Banging and crashing stops) |
| 00:13:22 |
Now, then. What would you like? |
| 00:13:31 |
Chef's hurt himself. |
| 00:13:33 |
How badly? |
| 00:13:35 |
lndescribably badly. He hit his head |
| 00:13:41 |
(Eddie screams) |
| 00:13:43 |
- You cook. |
| 00:13:45 |
- Nor could Chef. |
| 00:13:48 |
- Now, then... |
| 00:13:50 |
(Sighs) How can I help you? |
| 00:13:52 |
Where are your eggs from? |
| 00:13:56 |
Hen's vaginas. |
| 00:13:58 |
Ah... |
| 00:14:01 |
We'd like two |
| 00:14:05 |
freshly squeezed orange juice, |
| 00:14:07 |
coffee for one - ground not instant - |
| 00:14:10 |
tea for one, |
| 00:14:13 |
and don't overcook the kidneys. |
| 00:14:15 |
Boiled egg as usual, Mrs Foxfur? |
| 00:14:17 |
Oh, yes, please. |
| 00:14:19 |
Thought so. |
| 00:14:21 |
Excuse me, I'll deal |
| 00:14:25 |
Oh, for Christ's sake! |
| 00:14:30 |
Ahem. |
| 00:14:32 |
Pheeb! One boiled egg. |
| 00:14:39 |
Pheeb! Hello? |
| 00:14:41 |
'Pheeb! Hello?' |
| 00:14:43 |
Yes, hello. One boiled egg. |
| 00:14:47 |
'Pheeb! Hello?' |
| 00:14:50 |
Yes, hello! |
| 00:14:51 |
'Pheeb! Who is it?' |
| 00:14:55 |
Pheeb! It's Mr Thwaite. |
| 00:14:56 |
'Pheeb! He's not here. |
| 00:15:03 |
Look, it's me! Stop embarrassing me |
| 00:15:08 |
(Eddie yelps) |
| 00:15:15 |
One boiled... Damn! |
| 00:15:17 |
Pheeb! One boiled... Oh, |
| 00:15:22 |
Pheeb! Hang on, I'll write it down. |
| 00:15:26 |
No, no, don't write it down, |
| 00:15:30 |
'OK. How do you spell "egg?"' |
| 00:15:33 |
No! Just remember it! |
| 00:15:34 |
Hang on, I've broken me pencil. I'll |
| 00:15:41 |
Eddie! Oh... Pheeb! Eddie! |
| 00:15:44 |
- Yeah?! |
| 00:15:47 |
(Squidge and blood-curdling scream) |
| 00:15:48 |
Aaaarrrgh! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! |
| 00:15:53 |
Here's the order. |
| 00:15:56 |
But it'll taste all papery. |
| 00:15:58 |
Just do it or I'll pop these, OK? |
| 00:16:02 |
OK. |
| 00:16:04 |
Aaaaaarrrrgh! |
| 00:16:07 |
Ahh! Ahh! I thought you said "or"! |
| 00:16:10 |
Freedom of speech. |
| 00:16:13 |
Now, let's just get on with it, |
| 00:16:25 |
Won't be long now. |
| 00:16:30 |
Could you possibly take our order? |
| 00:16:33 |
Oh, Edward and Mrs Simpson. |
| 00:16:37 |
I'd forgotten about you two. |
| 00:16:39 |
You must be ravenous? |
| 00:16:42 |
Can I take your order? |
| 00:16:44 |
Umm... |
| 00:16:47 |
Oh, all right. Why not? |
| 00:16:51 |
If you've finally managed |
| 00:16:58 |
(Johnson) We'd like |
| 00:17:01 |
- Do you have Lapsang Souchong? |
| 00:17:04 |
I just put on my underpants |
| 00:17:09 |
- Could I get some tea? |
| 00:17:13 |
(Twat) What a wise choice. |
| 00:17:16 |
Right... |
| 00:17:17 |
And if I may say so, |
| 00:17:23 |
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! |
| 00:17:31 |
My God! |
| 00:17:33 |
Excuse me a moment. |
| 00:17:41 |
(Squelching) |
| 00:18:00 |
- (Squelch) |
| 00:18:09 |
Heh heh! |
| 00:18:13 |
No! No! |
| 00:18:17 |
- (Squelch) |
| 00:18:22 |
(Straining) |
| 00:18:34 |
(Screaming, banging and crashing) |
| 00:18:41 |
(Eddie) No, no! Not the fridge! |
| 00:18:56 |
No! |
| 00:18:57 |
Stop! |
| 00:18:58 |
Eddie! |
| 00:19:00 |
I'm sorry! |
| 00:19:05 |
How long for the egg? |
| 00:19:08 |
Three minutes, please. |
| 00:19:09 |
Excuse me one moment. |
| 00:19:12 |
Ahh! |
| 00:19:14 |
Uhhhh...urrgh! |
| 00:19:39 |
Aaaaaaarrrrgggh! |
| 00:19:47 |
- Ah! |
| 00:19:49 |
Urgh! Urgh! Urgh! |
| 00:19:53 |
Ah! Ah! Ah! |
| 00:19:59 |
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Aaaaarrrgh! |
| 00:20:06 |
Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrgh! |
| 00:20:14 |
ls there any danger of getting food? |
| 00:20:17 |
- Breakfast's off. |
| 00:20:19 |
Yes. There is no breakfast. |
| 00:20:22 |
Really! That's too much! |
| 00:20:25 |
Oh, do shut your gob, lard-arse! |
| 00:20:28 |
This is preposterous. |
| 00:20:30 |
You can shut yours, too. |
| 00:20:33 |
- That's it. |
| 00:20:35 |
Do you want some, eh? Do you want... |
| 00:20:38 |
- some? |
| 00:20:41 |
More like a pink belt in hanging |
| 00:20:54 |
Richie... |
| 00:20:57 |
Hello, bird! |
| 00:20:59 |
Oh, Richie! It's Richie! |
| 00:21:01 |
Oh, it's Richie! |
| 00:21:02 |
Hello...other bird! |
| 00:21:05 |
It's Richie! Richie! |
| 00:21:06 |
Come saucy wood-nymphs, gather |
| 00:21:10 |
Hello! |
| 00:21:12 |
Hello! Hello! Hello! |
| 00:21:15 |
Hello, birds! |
| 00:21:18 |
Come, love-nymphs. |
| 00:21:21 |
let us take out our great knockers |
| 00:21:26 |
Oh, yes, let's! |
| 00:21:30 |
No, love-nymphs, |
| 00:21:33 |
and shower him with unmarked tenners! |
| 00:21:36 |
Erotically... |
| 00:21:37 |
(All) Hurrah! Yes! |
| 00:21:41 |
But first, proud, firm young maidens |
| 00:21:46 |
let us anoint him with pints |
| 00:21:51 |
(All) Oh, yes! Let's! |
| 00:21:54 |
(Giggling) |
| 00:22:00 |
Settle, birds... |
| 00:22:02 |
(Eddie) Ha ha ha ha! |
| 00:22:06 |
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! |
| 00:22:09 |
A-ha ha ha ha ha! |
| 00:22:13 |
(Eddie's laughter echoes) |
| 00:22:22 |
Oh, stop it! Stop it! |
| 00:22:25 |
(Eddie) Richie, |
| 00:22:28 |
Eight hours? |
| 00:22:31 |
Trying to rouse you with this. |
| 00:22:33 |
How has the hotel |
| 00:22:36 |
Easily, 'cause the guests have gone. |
| 00:22:38 |
Gone! Did any of them pay? |
| 00:22:40 |
Er...no. |
| 00:22:43 |
Did they find the safe? |
| 00:22:45 |
I'm afraid so. |
| 00:22:46 |
Damn! So they got |
| 00:22:51 |
(Cash till rings) |
| 00:22:53 |
Oh...! |
| 00:22:54 |
What about advance bookings? |
| 00:22:56 |
Um, not too good. |
| 00:22:59 |
Oh, God! |
| 00:23:01 |
Oh, come on, Richie. |
| 00:23:05 |
Yes, it is. I've just trapped |
| 00:23:12 |
(Cash till rings) |
| 00:23:17 |
(Foxfur) Oh, Mr Twat? |
| 00:23:18 |
It's "Thwaite!" |
| 00:23:20 |
I thought you said |
| 00:23:23 |
I thought she was dead. |
| 00:23:31 |
Ah, Twat. |
| 00:23:36 |
Because you went through |
| 00:23:39 |
I beg your pardon? |
| 00:23:42 |
I said I'm afraid breakfast is off. |
| 00:23:45 |
Oh, have some sherry. |
| 00:23:48 |
Oh! ls it my birthday? |
| 00:23:51 |
- Oh...yes! |
| 00:23:58 |
It's the third time this month. |
| 00:24:00 |
Yes! Have another one. |
| 00:24:05 |
(Whispers) Eddie, mark the bottle. |
| 00:24:07 |
I was just wondering, Mrs Foxfur, |
| 00:24:12 |
whether you might like |
| 00:24:15 |
to pay your bill in advance? |
| 00:24:18 |
We don't want you getting |
| 00:24:22 |
that you can't sign the cheque. |
| 00:24:24 |
I gave you five years advance |
| 00:24:27 |
Yeah! And the week before that. |
| 00:24:30 |
Oh, yes. |
| 00:24:32 |
Silly old me. |
| 00:24:35 |
(Sighs) |
| 00:24:39 |
Hmm... |
| 00:24:46 |
ls that gold in those teeth? |
| 00:24:48 |
You should get those checked. |
| 00:24:50 |
My twin is a dentist! |
| 00:24:53 |
Your twin? ls that the same twin |
| 00:24:58 |
Huh? |
| 00:25:00 |
Er, no, no. He's the third twin. |
| 00:25:03 |
Yes, that's who he is. I'll get him |
| 00:25:08 |
No, I'll get him |
| 00:25:12 |
- Yes, but I... I think I... |
| 00:25:17 |
Come along. Up to your room. |
| 00:25:21 |
COME ON! |
| 00:25:24 |
Right, I'll be... |
| 00:25:27 |
Come on! Come on! |
| 00:25:30 |
Get me a doctor's coat, |
| 00:25:33 |
And your glasses as a disguise. |
| 00:25:39 |
How do I look? |
| 00:25:41 |
I don't know, I can't see. |
| 00:25:43 |
Edward, have you been taking drugs? |
| 00:25:45 |
Well, never mind depravity. |
| 00:25:50 |
(Horns honking) |
| 00:26:02 |
You're sure this is the right place? |
| 00:26:05 |
- lt doesn't look nice. |
| 00:26:09 |
Times are hard and this is |
| 00:26:13 |
Let's make the best of it. |
| 00:26:16 |
Come on, we're on holiday! Hooray. |
| 00:26:21 |
- Oh! Oh! |
| 00:26:28 |
Good, that should've |
| 00:26:31 |
Eddie, get the croquet mallet while |
| 00:26:35 |
Righty-dokey! |
| 00:26:38 |
(Bell dings) |
| 00:26:40 |
Quick, Eddie, put your fingerprints |
| 00:26:44 |
Righto. |
| 00:26:49 |
Dr Twat, is that you? |
| 00:26:53 |
Er, yes. |
| 00:26:56 |
Have you completed |
| 00:26:59 |
- (Bell dings) |
| 00:27:01 |
That's looking macfine. |
| 00:27:04 |
I'll pop back in a week and give ye a |
| 00:27:15 |
(Dings bell) |
| 00:27:25 |
(Dings bell) |
| 00:27:31 |
Good morning, |
| 00:27:35 |
We were beginning to think |
| 00:27:38 |
lt looked like the Marie Celeste. |
| 00:27:40 |
(Forced laughter) |
| 00:27:49 |
How amusing! Ha ha! Oh, ha ha ha! |
| 00:27:58 |
(Continues to laugh) |
| 00:28:02 |
Now, what can I do for you? |
| 00:28:05 |
Well, we were wondering... |
| 00:28:06 |
(Laughs again) |
| 00:28:16 |
(Straining to laugh) |
| 00:28:19 |
I'm sorry, I was just remembering. |
| 00:28:23 |
"Marie...Celeste." |
| 00:28:26 |
Ha ha ha! lmplying that we run |
| 00:28:30 |
nobody wants to stay. |
| 00:28:34 |
Right, well, we were wondering |
| 00:28:38 |
Yes, we'd like two rooms, adjoining. |
| 00:28:41 |
With a sea view, please. |
| 00:28:43 |
Gosh, you're quite forthright, |
| 00:28:46 |
My word, Eddie. |
| 00:28:49 |
Well, first things first. |
| 00:28:53 |
that you'd like put in the safe? |
| 00:28:56 |
- Not really, no. |
| 00:28:59 |
Well, I never take it off. |
| 00:29:01 |
The watch, then? ls that expensive? |
| 00:29:04 |
No, it's a cheap copy. |
| 00:29:06 |
That'll do. |
| 00:29:09 |
Eddie! |
| 00:29:10 |
..means you don't need |
| 00:29:14 |
Time...stops here. |
| 00:29:19 |
(Richie chuckles) So watch, please. |
| 00:29:21 |
- I'd rather keep it... |
| 00:29:23 |
- I won't be able... |
| 00:29:29 |
Come along! |
| 00:29:32 |
Mmm. There, better safe than sorry. |
| 00:29:36 |
Eddie, take their bags. |
| 00:29:39 |
But...they'lI see, won't they? |
| 00:29:41 |
No, Eddie, take their bags |
| 00:29:45 |
And you'll keep 'em talking? Gotcha! |
| 00:29:49 |
Whoo! Look over there! |
| 00:29:59 |
And off we go! |
| 00:30:01 |
Off to your rooms. |
| 00:30:03 |
Uh-uh uh-uh uh. |
| 00:30:17 |
- I beg your pardon? |
| 00:30:24 |
Have you stayed in a hotel before? |
| 00:30:28 |
And this is the light switch. |
| 00:30:30 |
I've depressed the light switch, |
| 00:30:34 |
which has been |
| 00:30:36 |
to allow you plenty of time |
| 00:30:41 |
Arse. |
| 00:30:42 |
(Boy) lnsert it in your arse? |
| 00:30:44 |
(Richie) Never mind, I'm a |
| 00:30:49 |
Bastard! Fucking! Where is it?! |
| 00:30:53 |
Ah, there we are. |
| 00:30:57 |
And in we go... |
| 00:30:59 |
Eddie! What on earth are you doing? |
| 00:31:02 |
Uh...I...was... |
| 00:31:07 |
Don't worry, |
| 00:31:10 |
Where's the sea view? |
| 00:31:12 |
That'll be out the window. |
| 00:31:16 |
Well, I can't see it. |
| 00:31:18 |
Yes, you have to lean out. |
| 00:31:21 |
Lean out...lean out... |
| 00:31:24 |
Hold on to the scaffolding |
| 00:31:26 |
and you can just see |
| 00:31:31 |
I've had it checked by lawyers |
| 00:31:35 |
And, as a backup... |
| 00:31:39 |
I've got a picture of some sea, |
| 00:31:44 |
Could I just ask, |
| 00:31:48 |
lt depends who's serving. |
| 00:31:52 |
Eddie, a word. |
| 00:31:56 |
I've told you before, |
| 00:31:59 |
Ow! |
| 00:32:01 |
- What? |
| 00:32:05 |
No, she walked into my finger. |
| 00:32:10 |
Ha ha! Look, what time is it? |
| 00:32:12 |
Oh! Uh, why don't you let Eddie |
| 00:32:17 |
off to the playground? |
| 00:32:21 |
Come on, you little rascals! |
| 00:32:24 |
(Richie chuckles) |
| 00:32:25 |
And you two pop down to the bar |
| 00:32:29 |
- That sounds nice. |
| 00:32:33 |
And only 75 pence. |
| 00:32:37 |
Each. |
| 00:32:38 |
In advance. |
| 00:32:40 |
Oh, right. Sorry. |
| 00:32:46 |
There we are. Oh, yes... |
| 00:32:48 |
Uh...have a...nice...day. |
| 00:32:55 |
So, as we always say |
| 00:32:59 |
have fun, avoid the water |
| 00:33:24 |
Hmm. |
| 00:33:29 |
(Rusty squeaking) |
| 00:33:35 |
It's horrible here. |
| 00:33:39 |
Welcome to the real world, kid. |
| 00:34:08 |
Oh! Ha ha ha! |
| 00:34:11 |
Oh! |
| 00:34:13 |
I really must have some more sherry. |
| 00:34:18 |
Eh...oh... |
| 00:34:35 |
Here you are, kid. |
| 00:34:38 |
lt helps keep things blurred. |
| 00:34:40 |
(Scream) |
| 00:34:57 |
Oh, damn. |
| 00:35:05 |
(Key turns in lock) |
| 00:35:30 |
(Woman) Shame about the weather. |
| 00:35:32 |
(Man) Shame about the hotel. |
| 00:35:35 |
(Woman) Never mind. |
| 00:35:39 |
(Richie) Oh, no! No! |
| 00:35:41 |
Damn! Damn! Damn! |
| 00:36:07 |
It's Mr Twat, you're going to have |
| 00:36:12 |
- (Woman) Hello? |
| 00:36:16 |
(Foreign accent) Hello? |
| 00:36:22 |
Hello? |
| 00:36:26 |
Hello, man behind the counter. |
| 00:36:37 |
Ah, there you are. |
| 00:36:40 |
Mr Twat? |
| 00:36:42 |
- No. |
| 00:36:45 |
He could be anywhere. He's the only |
| 00:36:49 |
I'm suprprised he hasn't had |
| 00:36:53 |
Pardon? |
| 00:36:54 |
Uh...the bar. |
| 00:36:58 |
He is in the...bar. |
| 00:37:02 |
Right. |
| 00:37:10 |
But...there's no one there. |
| 00:37:15 |
Oh, God. Oh, God! |
| 00:37:18 |
God! Oh, God! Oh, fu... |
| 00:37:25 |
Everything's gone completely numb. |
| 00:37:28 |
You lucky bastard. |
| 00:37:34 |
Good morning, |
| 00:37:36 |
Er... |
| 00:37:37 |
Have you tried reception? |
| 00:37:40 |
Yes, but he isn't there. The strange |
| 00:37:51 |
Well, I'm sure if we wait here |
| 00:37:58 |
Charming part of the country. |
| 00:38:00 |
(Board creaks, then gas hisses) |
| 00:38:04 |
Does it rain a lot around here? |
| 00:38:09 |
More or less continuously, yes. |
| 00:38:12 |
Oh. |
| 00:38:15 |
Oh, well. |
| 00:38:16 |
(Click) |
| 00:38:18 |
Good for the flowers, I suppose. |
| 00:38:20 |
Still quite warm, though. |
| 00:38:36 |
Look, something tells me |
| 00:38:43 |
You see, the thing is... |
| 00:38:45 |
(Board creaks, then gas hisses) |
| 00:38:48 |
The thing is... |
| 00:38:55 |
I am Gina Carbonara. |
| 00:38:59 |
Gina Carbonara, |
| 00:39:00 |
the famous ltalian film star |
| 00:39:05 |
Cor, blimey, wait till Richie |
| 00:39:12 |
The truth is, I've had a little |
| 00:39:17 |
one thing and another, |
| 00:39:20 |
and I'm looking for a hotel that's |
| 00:39:26 |
where the paparazzi won't find me. |
| 00:39:29 |
I wouldn't know where to recommend. |
| 00:39:33 |
I was thinking of here. |
| 00:39:35 |
Oh. |
| 00:39:37 |
Oh! |
| 00:39:41 |
This seems the perfect spot. |
| 00:39:46 |
Nobody for miles around - |
| 00:39:50 |
Even the peasants in the village |
| 00:39:57 |
Oh, yes, this is the place. |
| 00:40:01 |
A perfect little refuge |
| 00:40:09 |
Right, well, we'd better... |
| 00:40:21 |
So if you're not the manager, |
| 00:40:25 |
I'm Eddie the bellboy. |
| 00:40:27 |
The bellboy? |
| 00:40:29 |
That's right. |
| 00:40:31 |
(Bell dongs) |
| 00:40:33 |
(Giggles) |
| 00:40:35 |
(High pitched giggle) |
| 00:40:44 |
And...here's your key. |
| 00:40:49 |
It's room five, first floor, |
| 00:40:52 |
I'll bring your luggage up directly. |
| 00:40:59 |
Mice. |
| 00:41:03 |
Basque Separatist mice. |
| 00:41:12 |
I was...just...cleaning the oven |
| 00:41:17 |
and...and...and... |
| 00:41:19 |
I can't believe it! |
| 00:41:23 |
Gina Carbonara! |
| 00:41:26 |
Yeah, the Nipples from Naples! |
| 00:41:29 |
The Rump from Rome! |
| 00:41:30 |
The Rectum from Reykjavik! |
| 00:41:34 |
- That's not right, is it? |
| 00:41:39 |
Eddie, assemble all the staff! |
| 00:41:41 |
- Here I am. |
| 00:41:43 |
ls this it? Where's Lardy Basto? |
| 00:41:45 |
- Chef left this morning, remember? |
| 00:41:49 |
So it's just us, then. |
| 00:41:53 |
Alone. |
| 00:41:55 |
God, what are we gonna do?! |
| 00:41:57 |
Calm! Down! Richie! |
| 00:42:01 |
I know! I'm already straining |
| 00:42:06 |
We'll soon have you out. |
| 00:42:09 |
Unh! |
| 00:42:10 |
(Air hissing and rubber stretching) |
| 00:42:17 |
What about dinner? |
| 00:42:19 |
She'll be expecting top-rate, |
| 00:42:24 |
I don't believe it! That Romanian |
| 00:42:29 |
Oh! |
| 00:42:30 |
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! OH, GOD! |
| 00:42:34 |
Why do these things happen to me? |
| 00:42:37 |
I thought this would be it, |
| 00:42:39 |
I was gonna get a blue plaque made |
| 00:42:44 |
Now you'lI need |
| 00:42:47 |
saying "Gina Carbonara stayed here |
| 00:42:52 |
- ls this gonna work? |
| 00:42:57 |
Yes, he is. |
| 00:42:58 |
ls he? Huh! I never knew that. |
| 00:43:01 |
Right. |
| 00:43:03 |
Yep, that should do it. |
| 00:43:05 |
What's the next part |
| 00:43:08 |
I puncture the pants with this kebab |
| 00:43:13 |
The sudden release of pressure causes |
| 00:43:21 |
- If you say so. |
| 00:43:25 |
And here it comes! |
| 00:43:52 |
(Boy) It's so boring here! |
| 00:43:54 |
(Dad) Well, what about I-Spy? |
| 00:43:58 |
(Dad) Let's play |
| 00:44:01 |
(Charlene) Yeah! |
| 00:44:03 |
(Door opens) |
| 00:44:07 |
OK, here we go, |
| 00:44:10 |
One... |
| 00:44:12 |
two...three... |
| 00:44:14 |
four...five... |
| 00:44:17 |
six...seven... |
| 00:44:19 |
eight...nine... |
| 00:44:22 |
Ten! Coming, ready or not! |
| 00:44:26 |
- Oh, you've grown. |
| 00:44:29 |
- Oh, I see! |
| 00:44:31 |
It's "Thwaite!" No, no, I'm not him, |
| 00:44:36 |
Hur hur hur hee! |
| 00:44:38 |
(Strangled moans) |
| 00:44:45 |
(Crashing and banging) |
| 00:44:50 |
And stay there! Never enter |
| 00:44:56 |
Oh, I'm so sorry. I was talking |
| 00:45:01 |
- ls he all right? |
| 00:45:04 |
But don't worry, it's terminal! |
| 00:45:07 |
Now, allow me to show you around. |
| 00:45:09 |
Oh, my, you have a pert elbow. |
| 00:45:14 |
You must be Gina Carbonara. |
| 00:45:17 |
Yes, and you must be Mr Thwaite. |
| 00:45:21 |
It's "Twat." Damn... |
| 00:45:24 |
I'm sorry, please, |
| 00:45:27 |
Yes. |
| 00:45:28 |
I have a problem, |
| 00:45:33 |
- No... |
| 00:45:35 |
No, no, I WON'T have a problem. |
| 00:45:38 |
- I'm not being too forward? |
| 00:45:44 |
Now, what seems to be the problem? |
| 00:45:47 |
Electrics? Plumbing? The...stench? |
| 00:45:50 |
Although, by the way, |
| 00:45:55 |
I am in fact |
| 00:45:59 |
Well, strictly speaking |
| 00:46:03 |
Keen as mustard. |
| 00:46:05 |
- I'm having trouble with my zip. |
| 00:46:09 |
Could you undo it? |
| 00:46:13 |
(Mumbles) |
| 00:46:14 |
Pardon? |
| 00:46:17 |
(Mumbles) |
| 00:46:19 |
No, I still don't understand. |
| 00:46:21 |
(Quivering) You want me |
| 00:46:25 |
Oh, yes. Would you? |
| 00:46:27 |
(Quivering) Well, |
| 00:46:30 |
Thank you. |
| 00:46:34 |
You see it is just stuck here. |
| 00:46:37 |
You don't mind |
| 00:46:41 |
Uh, no. |
| 00:46:43 |
This is such a charming hotel, |
| 00:46:50 |
I feel I could stay here forever. |
| 00:46:53 |
(Zip) |
| 00:46:55 |
You're such a sweet man. |
| 00:47:09 |
Love is such a fickle thing, |
| 00:47:13 |
What? Oh, love. |
| 00:47:15 |
Oh, yes, love. |
| 00:47:18 |
Oh, lumme! Love! |
| 00:47:19 |
H-how very well put. |
| 00:47:21 |
How very amusing. Ha ha ha ha... |
| 00:47:26 |
How soi-disant... Ah! Uh! |
| 00:47:29 |
Yes, it's such... |
| 00:47:31 |
Oh...he's gone. |
| 00:47:39 |
Ooh, it's cold in here. |
| 00:47:42 |
Arrrgh! |
| 00:47:43 |
(Horn honks) |
| 00:47:45 |
Eddie! |
| 00:47:48 |
Aaaarrgh! AAAAARRRGH! |
| 00:47:54 |
Bloody road protesters! |
| 00:47:56 |
Save the B157! |
| 00:47:59 |
Marvellous, Eddie! |
| 00:48:02 |
We're saved! Ha ha ha! |
| 00:48:10 |
(Whistling happily) |
| 00:48:30 |
Have you had enough time |
| 00:48:35 |
Well, I think I'lI have the fish. |
| 00:48:38 |
Oh, good. Wise choice. |
| 00:48:41 |
So everyone's having fish, then. |
| 00:48:45 |
I don't like this fish. |
| 00:48:47 |
You'll eat it. |
| 00:48:49 |
You're a minor, you have no rights |
| 00:48:53 |
For what the Lord has provided |
| 00:48:58 |
And the same goes for you! |
| 00:49:01 |
- Enjoying your meal? |
| 00:49:03 |
We've got royalty coming downstairs |
| 00:49:08 |
Who are you? |
| 00:49:11 |
- We're Mr... |
| 00:49:14 |
(Both, giggling) Barker. |
| 00:49:17 |
The honeymoon couple? |
| 00:49:21 |
Well, we're newlyweds. |
| 00:49:23 |
Good grief! What can I get you? |
| 00:49:26 |
Vitamins? Energy tablets? Fanny pump? |
| 00:49:30 |
- N-no, a table. |
| 00:49:33 |
You bloody well won't! |
| 00:49:37 |
Just sit down and eat quietly |
| 00:49:41 |
It's absolutely disgusting! |
| 00:49:47 |
Now, what can I get you? |
| 00:49:50 |
D'you have any fish? |
| 00:49:54 |
Oh! I'lI see what I can do. |
| 00:50:06 |
Good evening, Miss Carbonara. |
| 00:50:09 |
Good evening, Mr Twat. |
| 00:50:10 |
Ha ha, it's "Cunt". |
| 00:50:14 |
Oh, damn. Again. |
| 00:50:19 |
Would it be too much trouble |
| 00:50:23 |
Oh. Of course. |
| 00:50:27 |
Oh... |
| 00:50:29 |
Of course. |
| 00:50:31 |
What can I bring you? |
| 00:50:35 |
Yes, lightly grilled fish |
| 00:50:38 |
"Lightly" grilled fish? |
| 00:50:44 |
Righty-ho. |
| 00:50:47 |
Would it offend you |
| 00:50:52 |
Hmm? |
| 00:50:53 |
I would like to have it undressed. |
| 00:50:58 |
Hmm? |
| 00:50:59 |
I don't want to cause a fuss. |
| 00:51:02 |
Oh, no, no! They'll be raring |
| 00:51:06 |
- Undressed, you say? |
| 00:51:10 |
I should imagine. Chakras like those |
| 00:51:14 |
As we used to say |
| 00:51:17 |
(Eddie) Pheeb! |
| 00:51:21 |
Oh, she's gone. |
| 00:51:23 |
Right, Edward Elizabeth Ndingombaba, |
| 00:51:36 |
(Knock at door) |
| 00:51:38 |
Come in. |
| 00:51:52 |
Good evening. |
| 00:51:53 |
(Whispers) Good one. |
| 00:51:57 |
Good evening. |
| 00:52:04 |
You have a very big hat. |
| 00:52:07 |
Well, you're a very attractive bird. |
| 00:52:23 |
And with your salad - |
| 00:52:28 |
Pardon? |
| 00:52:31 |
Cream or oil? |
| 00:52:33 |
No, I said I wanted |
| 00:52:36 |
I know, and we're |
| 00:52:39 |
I'll say. |
| 00:52:41 |
No, I mean...without dressing. |
| 00:52:46 |
Oh... |
| 00:52:47 |
Oh. Oh, God. Back to the kitchen. |
| 00:52:51 |
Oh, God. Quickly! Quickly! Quickly! |
| 00:52:54 |
Oh, God! Oh, God! |
| 00:52:59 |
Really, i-i-i-it's just too much. |
| 00:53:01 |
I-I'm gonna... |
| 00:53:04 |
So you take the kids to bed. |
| 00:53:07 |
Well, be careful, babe. |
| 00:53:14 |
(Dings) |
| 00:53:15 |
Hello? |
| 00:53:24 |
(Dings) Hello? |
| 00:54:10 |
Time for beddy-byes, is it? |
| 00:54:16 |
Oh, I don't feel well. |
| 00:54:19 |
(Farts) |
| 00:54:23 |
Hey, give her one from me! |
| 00:54:26 |
If you're too tired |
| 00:54:30 |
I'm not joking, actually. |
| 00:54:51 |
(Richie) What do you |
| 00:54:54 |
I wanted you. Some underwear |
| 00:54:58 |
Really? And what sort |
| 00:55:01 |
Uh, well... |
| 00:55:04 |
They were crotchless |
| 00:55:08 |
You're quite sure |
| 00:55:10 |
Yes, and a rubber bra |
| 00:55:13 |
Hey, Rich, look at this bloke |
| 00:55:17 |
ls it...? ls it you? |
| 00:55:21 |
- Put that back on! |
| 00:55:30 |
It's broken. |
| 00:55:32 |
- And there's no other machine? |
| 00:55:37 |
Well, I'll just show this tape |
| 00:55:44 |
Hey, Rich... |
| 00:55:46 |
What are we gonna do? |
| 00:55:48 |
We'll just bide our time, Eddie. |
| 00:55:58 |
Can you take your hand off my penis? |
| 00:56:01 |
Hmm? Oh, sorry. |
| 00:56:11 |
(Eddie) Whoo-oo-oo-oo! |
| 00:56:16 |
Whoo-oo-oo-oo! |
| 00:56:20 |
Whoo-oo-oo-oo! |
| 00:56:24 |
Whoo-oo-oo-oo! |
| 00:56:28 |
Whoo-oo-oo-oo! |
| 00:56:29 |
Will you stop making |
| 00:56:32 |
- Sorry. |
| 00:56:36 |
(Crack) Aaaaaaaaarrrghhh! |
| 00:56:40 |
Rich! Rich! |
| 00:56:43 |
What happened? |
| 00:56:44 |
Candle in the eye. |
| 00:56:46 |
Pardon? |
| 00:56:48 |
Candle in the eye! |
| 00:56:51 |
Righto. |
| 00:56:53 |
Aaaaaaaarrrrrgghh! |
| 00:56:57 |
(Banging and crashing) |
| 00:57:01 |
(Richie groans) Stop it! |
| 00:57:04 |
Look...look... |
| 00:57:06 |
Uhh! Let's get sensible, OK?! |
| 00:57:11 |
Come on, it's this way. |
| 00:57:18 |
Here we are. Shh! |
| 00:57:32 |
Right, they're fast asleep. |
| 00:57:35 |
I beg your pardon? |
| 00:57:37 |
Hand me your rod. |
| 00:57:39 |
- Huh? |
| 00:57:42 |
Oh! Righto. |
| 00:57:52 |
Here we go. (Laughs) |
| 00:57:55 |
Shh! |
| 00:58:07 |
Oh-oh-oh...! |
| 00:58:12 |
Got it. |
| 00:58:25 |
He's got a tight grip on it. |
| 00:58:34 |
(Straining) |
| 00:58:51 |
Ah! Ooh... |
| 00:58:53 |
You're gonna have to help. |
| 00:58:55 |
Right you are. |
| 00:58:59 |
Cor! You got a whopper there. |
| 00:59:02 |
Why, thank you, Eddie. |
| 00:59:08 |
Oh, yeah... |
| 00:59:14 |
Smack me up, you bitch. |
| 00:59:16 |
(Both strain) |
| 00:59:19 |
(Bonk) |
| 00:59:24 |
(Richie) Ooh! Ooh! |
| 00:59:27 |
(Bonk) |
| 00:59:30 |
(Bonk) |
| 00:59:31 |
Unh! Come on! |
| 00:59:40 |
Oh! |
| 00:59:43 |
(Doorbell rings) |
| 00:59:45 |
Who's that? |
| 00:59:47 |
Someone ringing the doorbell. |
| 00:59:49 |
I think you're right. |
| 00:59:51 |
See what they want |
| 00:59:54 |
And Eddie, if it's the police, |
| 00:59:57 |
- Righto. |
| 01:00:03 |
(Ringing) |
| 01:00:05 |
I'm coming! I'm coming! |
| 01:00:11 |
Where's Gina Carbonara?! |
| 01:00:12 |
GINA! GINA! |
| 01:00:21 |
It's, uh, just along here, |
| 01:00:25 |
OK, now, bring me |
| 01:00:28 |
and expensive bottle of champagne, |
| 01:00:30 |
otherwise you are |
| 01:00:34 |
Watch the language. We're trying |
| 01:00:38 |
OK, excuse me, otherwise |
| 01:00:44 |
I tried. |
| 01:00:53 |
Gino! |
| 01:00:56 |
(Whispers) Si. |
| 01:00:57 |
So, why you not turn up |
| 01:01:03 |
You are too famous not to come |
| 01:01:09 |
Or is poor Gino, |
| 01:01:14 |
is not a-good enough for you, huh? |
| 01:01:17 |
ls that it? |
| 01:01:20 |
- Ah! |
| 01:01:38 |
Gina... |
| 01:01:40 |
You know why I didn't come. |
| 01:01:43 |
How can I know? |
| 01:01:47 |
Because the night before the wedding |
| 01:01:52 |
But at the time I wasn't-a married! |
| 01:01:55 |
I was a free Gino! |
| 01:01:57 |
Gina... Per favure, Gina... |
| 01:02:01 |
Gina... Gina... Amure... |
| 01:02:05 |
Gina, per favure, amure. |
| 01:02:27 |
Amore, bambina... |
| 01:02:28 |
I do not want-a to spend another |
| 01:02:34 |
Do you have-a your |
| 01:02:39 |
Why don't you put it on |
| 01:02:44 |
So we can-a marry ourself, huh? |
| 01:02:47 |
- (Knock at door) |
| 01:02:49 |
(Eddie) Room service! |
| 01:02:56 |
(Gasps) |
| 01:02:57 |
- Gino? |
| 01:02:59 |
Look. |
| 01:03:02 |
Yes, it's-a very beautiful. |
| 01:03:09 |
Do you know a nice bordello |
| 01:03:13 |
You find-a me some pretty girls... |
| 01:03:21 |
He's bad! |
| 01:03:25 |
The boyfriend? |
| 01:03:35 |
Ah... Leading me on. |
| 01:03:38 |
Brazen hussy. |
| 01:03:41 |
She was just using me... |
| 01:03:45 |
before she tied the knot. |
| 01:03:47 |
Just one last little bit |
| 01:03:52 |
Which didn't come off. |
| 01:03:55 |
Like these blasted pants. |
| 01:03:59 |
Oh, that reminds me! Oh, God! |
| 01:04:02 |
(Door opens) |
| 01:04:04 |
Richie? Richie? |
| 01:04:10 |
(Doorbell rings) |
| 01:04:25 |
(Men) Evening, Eddie! |
| 01:04:28 |
Oh, no. Friday night. |
| 01:04:30 |
Yep, another shift done! |
| 01:04:32 |
Sorry we're late. |
| 01:04:36 |
A leaving party. Well, someone on |
| 01:04:40 |
(Laughing and sickly coughing) |
| 01:05:29 |
(Eddie) No, look, I'm sorry, but... |
| 01:05:31 |
The weekly lock-in |
| 01:05:34 |
All right, but it'lI have to be |
| 01:05:40 |
You've got guests?! |
| 01:05:55 |
All right, what'll it be? |
| 01:06:10 |
I feel poorly. |
| 01:06:12 |
(Gasps) |
| 01:06:14 |
Dad! Dad! Dad! DAD! |
| 01:06:18 |
(Yelps) |
| 01:06:19 |
- What is it, Damien? |
| 01:06:22 |
The nasty man! |
| 01:06:25 |
- What? |
| 01:06:27 |
You're just having a nightmare, |
| 01:06:30 |
But he's in there! |
| 01:06:31 |
Come into bed with us. |
| 01:06:34 |
But he really is there... |
| 01:06:36 |
I'm sure you think he's in there. |
| 01:06:42 |
I've been having some nightmares |
| 01:06:57 |
I feel poorly. |
| 01:07:03 |
Cor, I'm glad that shift's over - |
| 01:07:08 |
We had a bit of a leak yesterday, |
| 01:07:11 |
had to burn all the dead fish |
| 01:07:15 |
You probably saw the lorries. |
| 01:07:17 |
- Shh! |
| 01:07:27 |
Mama mia... |
| 01:07:31 |
You look-a beautiful. |
| 01:07:43 |
(Loud whirring) |
| 01:07:54 |
(Grinding) |
| 01:07:59 |
(Whirring stops) |
| 01:08:07 |
And I, Gino Guiseppe |
| 01:08:11 |
take you, |
| 01:08:16 |
to be my lawful wedded wife, to love |
| 01:08:22 |
till death do us part. |
| 01:08:24 |
Amen. |
| 01:08:36 |
I do. |
| 01:08:38 |
I now pronounce us man... |
| 01:08:43 |
and his woman! |
| 01:08:48 |
- (Zip) |
| 01:08:50 |
No?! What do you mean?! |
| 01:08:51 |
You are my woman, |
| 01:09:14 |
(Roars) |
| 01:09:15 |
You bring-a shame and dishonour |
| 01:09:39 |
No sandwiches tonight, Eddie? |
| 01:09:42 |
Uh.... |
| 01:09:45 |
(Telephone rings) |
| 01:09:52 |
Hello...? Night...porter. |
| 01:09:58 |
(Sobbing) |
| 01:09:59 |
Where are the whores I ordered? |
| 01:10:04 |
I ordered three prostitutes! |
| 01:10:06 |
Send them to my room now. |
| 01:10:12 |
Huh? OK. |
| 01:10:17 |
Excuse me, gentlemen. |
| 01:10:19 |
(Telephone rings) |
| 01:10:25 |
Hello, night porter? |
| 01:10:28 |
(Richie) Eddie, it's me. |
| 01:10:29 |
I'm stuck inside |
| 01:10:34 |
OK. Won't be a minute, gents. |
| 01:10:40 |
I'll go and get us the sandwiches. |
| 01:10:46 |
All I want |
| 01:10:50 |
Gino! This was my mother's dress! |
| 01:10:56 |
That's OK, bring them. |
| 01:10:59 |
I am one fucky guy! |
| 01:11:22 |
What are you doing? |
| 01:11:24 |
Sorry, hotel maintenance. I have |
| 01:11:28 |
- What? |
| 01:11:31 |
But it's |
| 01:11:34 |
It's...a fire risk. |
| 01:11:37 |
No, it's not. |
| 01:11:39 |
Yes, it is. |
| 01:11:44 |
See what I mean? |
| 01:11:49 |
Look, there it is, there! |
| 01:11:52 |
(Geiger counter crackles) |
| 01:11:55 |
(Geiger counter crackles madly) |
| 01:12:02 |
Thank you so much. |
| 01:12:13 |
(Coughing and choking) |
| 01:12:27 |
Eddie! What have you been up to?! |
| 01:12:29 |
I've told you before |
| 01:12:33 |
service the rooms - |
| 01:12:39 |
(Eddie) Aaaaaarrrrgh! |
| 01:12:43 |
I'm so sorry. |
| 01:12:45 |
You toddle off to bed, |
| 01:12:47 |
while I make sure |
| 01:12:52 |
No, no! That won't be necessary. |
| 01:12:54 |
Just don't disturb us again, please. |
| 01:12:56 |
We're checking out tomorrow. |
| 01:13:00 |
(Belches) |
| 01:13:06 |
Oh, dear... (Farts) |
| 01:13:10 |
And here it lS! |
| 01:13:12 |
Hur...rah. |
| 01:13:14 |
Eddie, all our troubles are over! |
| 01:13:17 |
- I'm not so sure, Richie! |
| 01:13:20 |
That fish, |
| 01:13:23 |
No one ate any, did they? |
| 01:13:25 |
Er...no. |
| 01:13:26 |
Good, because it's highly dangerous. |
| 01:13:29 |
They must've come |
| 01:13:32 |
- Shut it! |
| 01:13:35 |
I don't know where you got that fish, |
| 01:13:38 |
but this hotel |
| 01:13:40 |
Thank God no one ate any |
| 01:13:45 |
You wanna clear this hotel |
| 01:13:50 |
This is big trouble if they find out! |
| 01:13:53 |
Why did you |
| 01:13:57 |
We better get Z-Squad! |
| 01:14:00 |
How many guests had fish? |
| 01:14:02 |
All of them. |
| 01:14:04 |
Very well, let's pack our bags |
| 01:14:10 |
(Belching and liquid rumblings) |
| 01:14:13 |
(Farting) |
| 01:14:17 |
What's that noise? |
| 01:14:18 |
(Door opens) |
| 01:14:22 |
Oh! Oh, Mr Twat! |
| 01:14:25 |
What is it? |
| 01:14:26 |
I feel rather...AUGH! |
| 01:14:37 |
(Belches) |
| 01:14:40 |
Oh, Mr Twat, help m... |
| 01:14:42 |
Get back in your room! |
| 01:14:51 |
(Crying) Where's my mummy? |
| 01:14:54 |
AUGH! |
| 01:15:09 |
(Whispers) Come on. |
| 01:15:11 |
(Floor creaking) |
| 01:15:19 |
Oh, damn. |
| 01:15:21 |
(Groaning) |
| 01:15:28 |
(Farts) Oh, God... |
| 01:15:29 |
Please, my wife's very sick. |
| 01:15:37 |
- Timothy... |
| 01:15:49 |
(Gasps) What have... |
| 01:15:53 |
Get me a doc... |
| 01:15:57 |
For God's sake, get me a... |
| 01:16:02 |
(Groans) I can't... |
| 01:16:07 |
Get me a fucking... |
| 01:16:11 |
(Mumbles) My wife is sick too... |
| 01:16:17 |
Oh, God... |
| 01:16:20 |
(Enormous fart) |
| 01:16:22 |
Oh, my God... |
| 01:16:34 |
(Liquid rumblings) |
| 01:16:37 |
(Charlene) It's coming again... |
| 01:16:48 |
This...is the time. |
| 01:16:52 |
BWEURRK! |
| 01:16:55 |
AUGH! BWEURK! BLEURGH! |
| 01:16:58 |
BLEURK! GLEURGH! AUGHH! |
| 01:17:49 |
No! |
| 01:17:50 |
Oh! I don't have anything to wear! |
| 01:17:53 |
(Loud whirring) |
| 01:17:54 |
Oh! That's where it went! Uh! |
| 01:17:57 |
Come on, Richie, |
| 01:18:00 |
Let's go! |
| 01:18:02 |
I...w-w-w-whoo! Oh! |
| 01:18:04 |
No! |
| 01:18:06 |
(Dress tears) |
| 01:18:08 |
(Liquid rumblings) |
| 01:18:18 |
(Heaving) |
| 01:18:24 |
(Door creaks) |
| 01:18:48 |
Help! Help! |
| 01:18:55 |
(Gino gags) |
| 01:18:59 |
Hey... Stop! |
| 01:19:01 |
(Liquid rumblings) |
| 01:19:03 |
Arrrrgh... |
| 01:19:07 |
(Liquid rumblings) |
| 01:19:11 |
Mmmnnnn! |
| 01:19:24 |
- Ahhh! |
| 01:19:29 |
(All) Ahhh! |
| 01:19:58 |
(Gino) All I wanted was a shaaaaaaag! |
| 01:20:04 |
(Buzzing and crackling) |
| 01:20:13 |
(Helicopter engines) |
| 01:20:15 |
(Geiger counters crackle) |
| 01:20:17 |
(Tyres screech and sirens wail) |
| 01:20:28 |
You give me that suitcase |
| 01:20:32 |
What's in it? |
| 01:20:35 |
10 million. |
| 01:20:39 |
OK. |
| 01:20:44 |
This case contains new identities |
| 01:20:48 |
And first class plane tickets |
| 01:20:55 |
OK... |
| 01:21:01 |
Sign here to say |
| 01:21:05 |
or heard the words "radioactive" |
| 01:21:09 |
Shall we shake? |
| 01:21:13 |
I'd rather not. |
| 01:21:52 |
You have a very big hat. |
| 01:21:54 |
Well, you're a very attractive bird. |
| 01:22:00 |
Calm - down - Richie! |
| 01:22:03 |
He's got a tight grip on it. |
| 01:22:06 |
Candle in the eye! |
| 01:22:10 |
Righto. |
| 01:22:11 |
Aaaaaarrrggghh! |
| 01:22:22 |
(All laugh) |
| 01:22:24 |
Thank you for killing |
| 01:22:26 |
by radioactive fish poisoning. |
| 01:22:28 |
How lucky he was the only fatality. |
| 01:22:31 |
Yes. |
| 01:22:32 |
Otherwise there'd be a moral |
| 01:22:37 |
I will never be able to repay you. |
| 01:22:39 |
Oh, I don't know. |
| 01:22:43 |
Yes, of course it is. |
