|
Haunted World Of El Superbeasto The
|
| 00:00:17 |
How do you do? |
| 00:00:22 |
Mr. Rob Zombie feels it would |
| 00:00:25 |
to present this picture without |
| 00:00:28 |
We are about to unfold |
| 00:00:33 |
a man of action. |
| 00:00:35 |
It is one of the strangest |
| 00:00:38 |
I think it will thrill you. |
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It may shock you. |
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It might even horrify you. |
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So if any of you feel that you |
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to such a strain, |
| 00:00:52 |
now's your chance to, uh-- |
| 00:00:55 |
Well, we warned you. |
| 00:02:17 |
All right now, bitches, listen up. |
| 00:02:19 |
The director's on the set. |
| 00:02:23 |
Howdy-doodly-doo, ladies? |
| 00:02:27 |
Big Time Movie Casting |
| 00:02:29 |
I've got a very special porno-- |
| 00:02:34 |
So, time to get a-crack-a-lackin'. |
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You heard him. |
| 00:02:41 |
Now just to let you know, I'm not |
| 00:02:44 |
that casts based on looks. |
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I'm all about pure talent. |
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I want the audience to believe |
| 00:02:50 |
to experience the emotions, |
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breathe in the spicy meatball man, |
| 00:02:54 |
as they breathe life itself. |
| 00:02:56 |
All right, Granny, |
| 00:02:58 |
tell me a little about |
| 00:03:01 |
that you're, like, |
| 00:03:03 |
In 1910, I attended the |
| 00:03:07 |
- on full scholarship, winning the... |
| 00:03:12 |
...stunning portrayal of Blanche Dubois. |
| 00:03:13 |
Oh my God! |
| 00:03:16 |
I know I'm, like, |
| 00:03:19 |
I know it! |
| 00:03:21 |
Perfect perfect! |
| 00:03:22 |
You're hired. Next. |
| 00:03:24 |
I dig into the inner texture |
| 00:03:28 |
and reflect society's issues with women |
| 00:03:30 |
- and their hatred of the vagina. |
| 00:03:32 |
- Let me tell you-- |
| 00:03:34 |
- I'd really like to-- |
| 00:03:36 |
- People make me nauseous. |
| 00:03:38 |
- Hello! |
| 00:03:39 |
- Who do I have to fuck-- |
| 00:03:41 |
- Oh, Edgar, why did you-- |
| 00:03:42 |
- I'm ready for my-- whoa! |
| 00:03:44 |
Well, hello, honeypants. |
| 00:03:47 |
I think a good tan is as important |
| 00:03:50 |
as a good script, you know? |
| 00:03:51 |
Also, I can't really read so good, |
| 00:03:54 |
but I can do 300 crunches |
| 00:03:57 |
Words are so overrated. |
| 00:03:59 |
But on the other hand, tight abs-- |
| 00:04:03 |
Oh, oh my God. |
| 00:04:05 |
Quiet on the set! |
| 00:04:07 |
Sound speeds. |
| 00:04:08 |
"Big Spicy Meatball Macho Man," |
| 00:04:11 |
And action! |
| 00:04:15 |
Uh, line. |
| 00:04:17 |
"Mama mia, how about |
| 00:04:20 |
Yeah yeah, I got it. |
| 00:04:24 |
Okay, and we're still rolling, mate. |
| 00:04:26 |
Mama mia, how about |
| 00:04:30 |
for the spicy a-jumbo meatballs? |
| 00:04:33 |
Ow! What are you, |
| 00:04:35 |
That's, like, so hot! |
| 00:04:38 |
If it's not a-hot, how am I |
| 00:04:41 |
Luigi, she wonder why |
| 00:04:43 |
The cheese a-not gonna melt! |
| 00:04:51 |
Aw, shut up a you face. |
| 00:04:54 |
God! |
| 00:04:56 |
That's what I call a spicy meatball! |
| 00:05:00 |
- Oh, Luigi! |
| 00:05:11 |
- Mama mia! |
| 00:05:12 |
Yes, a-you do! |
| 00:05:14 |
Mama mia! |
| 00:05:18 |
Ahhhh! |
| 00:05:20 |
How do you like-a |
| 00:05:23 |
I'm gonna fill you up |
| 00:05:29 |
Oh, Mama. The big finish-- |
| 00:05:34 |
Get ready! |
| 00:05:36 |
That wasn't in the script! |
| 00:05:45 |
Here we go again. |
| 00:05:53 |
Please tell me |
| 00:05:55 |
Yeah, focus was good. |
| 00:05:57 |
Check that gate, baby! |
| 00:05:58 |
Yeah, good gate. |
| 00:06:00 |
That's a wrap. Make sure |
| 00:06:03 |
to Production before you leave. |
| 00:06:06 |
Whoo! After a hard day |
| 00:06:11 |
there's only one way |
| 00:06:14 |
Titty bar! |
| 00:06:17 |
Now let's see. |
| 00:06:20 |
Frighteningly chiseled |
| 00:06:22 |
Noticeable obscene bulge |
| 00:06:24 |
emanating from the lower region? |
| 00:06:26 |
What the fuck? |
| 00:06:27 |
A check-a-doodle-doo. |
| 00:06:29 |
Later, G. |
| 00:06:32 |
Keep it real, playa. |
| 00:06:35 |
Hey, I'm here to kill the bats. |
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Carry on, my simpleminded, |
| 00:06:41 |
Yeah, I only kill these things |
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I got me an application in |
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I know I know, |
| 00:06:49 |
Oh, that'd be great. |
| 00:06:50 |
Sorry, I don't sign. |
| 00:06:52 |
I feel it damages |
| 00:06:54 |
- What? |
| 00:06:57 |
Take a headshot, and here, |
| 00:07:00 |
Put it on your shit car. |
| 00:07:02 |
Cow-a-yay-ya! |
| 00:07:05 |
It's about time for my theme song, |
| 00:07:07 |
Maestro, if you please. |
| 00:07:10 |
# Left upon a darkened stair # |
| 00:07:14 |
# A baby thick with body hair # |
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# A wrestling family |
| 00:07:17 |
# And learned him |
| 00:07:18 |
# He soon grew up |
| 00:07:20 |
# And now this |
| 00:07:21 |
# Had found a knack |
| 00:07:23 |
# While pounding booze |
| 00:07:24 |
# Assholes, |
| 00:07:26 |
# Here comes a mangler |
| 00:07:27 |
His hands are like hammers. |
| 00:07:28 |
Each one is too big. |
| 00:07:31 |
He renders them tenderized meat! |
| 00:07:33 |
Ram 'em, jam 'em, |
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# El Superbeasto! # |
| 00:07:42 |
# El Superbeasto! # |
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# El Superbeasto! # |
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Oh, shit! |
| 00:07:56 |
Hey, man, what the hell? |
| 00:07:58 |
I get my hands on you, I-- |
| 00:08:01 |
Gee, wipers-- |
| 00:08:12 |
Hiya, Beasto. |
| 00:08:16 |
Well, it's good to see |
| 00:08:18 |
- Or should I say crack? |
| 00:08:26 |
Nice rack, buddy. |
| 00:08:29 |
Houston, |
| 00:08:35 |
Time for a little |
| 00:08:38 |
Get it? "The Shining"? |
| 00:08:41 |
Hilarious. |
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A fucking comedian. |
| 00:08:45 |
What'll it be, Beasto? |
| 00:08:46 |
I ain't in the mood for |
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Make it the Ethel Merman. |
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And because I'm a man |
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I will take an order |
| 00:08:58 |
Doh! |
| 00:09:01 |
Sorry, was this seat taken? |
| 00:09:28 |
Yello, Beasto World Enterprises. |
| 00:09:32 |
Beasto, I'm in position. |
| 00:09:36 |
Yeah, that's not really gonna |
| 00:09:39 |
Can we pencil this in |
| 00:09:40 |
- Are you in a bar? |
| 00:09:43 |
I'm entering a bad cell area. |
| 00:09:45 |
I might lose-- |
| 00:09:47 |
Suzy? |
| 00:09:48 |
That was my agent. I'm working |
| 00:09:51 |
with a win-win crossover |
| 00:09:54 |
You wouldn't understand. |
| 00:09:56 |
Achtung, blondie! |
| 00:09:58 |
- No running in the halls! |
| 00:10:00 |
Take that, Aryan assholes! |
| 00:10:03 |
What in the name |
| 00:10:09 |
Gotta stay sweet. |
| 00:10:15 |
O.M.G. |
| 00:10:18 |
So cliché. |
| 00:10:19 |
I hate to waste you, sweetie, |
| 00:10:31 |
Uh-oh. |
| 00:10:36 |
Feet, start moving! |
| 00:10:40 |
Whoa, Mama! |
| 00:10:44 |
I bet MacGyver never had |
| 00:10:49 |
Weee! |
| 00:10:53 |
Hey, Murray, baby. |
| 00:10:56 |
Yes, of course I missed you. |
| 00:10:58 |
I missed you like the stars |
| 00:11:01 |
Murray, you need a girlfriend. |
| 00:11:04 |
Hmm. If only I could |
| 00:11:08 |
I was thinking-- |
| 00:11:11 |
Hold that thought. |
| 00:11:12 |
We better make like |
| 00:11:14 |
Uh, okay. |
| 00:11:24 |
Hey, man, what's a girl gotta do |
| 00:11:28 |
# Suzi # |
| 00:11:30 |
# Where you running to |
| 00:11:35 |
# Watching you grow |
| 00:11:39 |
# To the girl with the ass |
| 00:11:43 |
# Did they try to |
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# Cleaning up dishes |
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# Was never enough |
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# What the fuck's up |
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# But nobody cares |
| 00:12:03 |
# Something about your titties |
| 00:12:08 |
# And you know |
| 00:12:09 |
# To waste every |
| 00:12:14 |
# Suzi X # |
| 00:12:22 |
# Oh, Suzi, what have you-- # |
| 00:12:24 |
# What, have you built |
| 00:12:26 |
# What, have you built yourself |
| 00:12:28 |
# That can change |
| 00:12:31 |
# Oh, Suzi X, |
| 00:12:36 |
# I got to get into your groove. # |
| 00:12:44 |
Hi, I'm El Superbeasto, |
| 00:12:47 |
- Dandruff Away shampoo... |
| 00:12:51 |
It's my commercial. |
| 00:12:53 |
On the TV, right up there. |
| 00:12:56 |
...have any more flakes |
| 00:12:58 |
People thought |
| 00:13:00 |
or had a bad coke problem. |
| 00:13:02 |
May cause anal bleeding, |
| 00:13:04 |
and nipple crumbling. |
| 00:13:07 |
You got a problem, Rover? |
| 00:13:08 |
Go blow yourself, has-been. |
| 00:13:11 |
Ooh, easy, Beasto. |
| 00:13:13 |
Not now, darling. |
| 00:13:25 |
Oh my God, you killed him! |
| 00:13:27 |
Calm down, folks. |
| 00:13:29 |
You can't do any real damage |
| 00:13:37 |
The kid doesn't look so good. |
| 00:13:39 |
No worries. He's fine. |
| 00:13:42 |
Nothing to see here. |
| 00:13:43 |
- Oh, silver-- not the silver. |
| 00:13:46 |
- Oh, Beasto! |
| 00:13:49 |
I'm next! |
| 00:13:58 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:14:00 |
Mmm. |
| 00:14:02 |
Women, |
| 00:14:05 |
but none of them |
| 00:14:07 |
My army of video voyeur bats |
| 00:14:10 |
and I can spy on them all! |
| 00:14:11 |
I can see them in their showers, |
| 00:14:14 |
in their boudoirs, |
| 00:14:21 |
Where are you, |
| 00:14:25 |
Ah, look who is in the paper! |
| 00:14:27 |
Give me that, |
| 00:14:29 |
Steve Wachowski? |
| 00:14:32 |
How many times do I have to |
| 00:14:35 |
Dr. Satan! |
| 00:14:38 |
Steve Wachowski is no more. |
| 00:14:41 |
There there. |
| 00:14:44 |
I told them. |
| 00:14:45 |
I- I- I told the editors. |
| 00:14:47 |
I even legally changed my name. |
| 00:14:50 |
It's not you, it's them. |
| 00:14:52 |
I am evil, aren't I, Otto? |
| 00:14:55 |
- Really really scary? |
| 00:14:58 |
We all tremble |
| 00:15:00 |
- You do? |
| 00:15:03 |
so will the rest |
| 00:15:06 |
Do tell, Otto. |
| 00:15:07 |
Tell me again how I will gain |
| 00:15:11 |
Oh God, here we go again. |
| 00:15:13 |
Now pay attention, |
| 00:15:17 |
# Find the woman with |
| 00:15:20 |
# On her backside # |
| 00:15:22 |
In the Book of Revelations |
| 00:15:24 |
Is 600 and three-score six-- |
| 00:15:26 |
# Bring her back here |
| 00:15:29 |
"Here" is an adverb of location |
| 00:15:32 |
"Meatpole" is an adjective |
| 00:15:35 |
# Make her your unholy bride # |
| 00:15:38 |
Marriage is a contractual union |
| 00:15:41 |
religion, and/or government. |
| 00:15:44 |
# Then you will be |
| 00:15:46 |
Into one giant fierce |
| 00:15:50 |
with all the |
| 00:15:53 |
# Backside, |
| 00:15:55 |
# Unholy bride, |
| 00:15:58 |
# If all these things |
| 00:16:00 |
# Y'all motherfuckers |
| 00:16:02 |
# From one giant, fierce, |
| 00:16:04 |
# With all the sudsy |
| 00:16:09 |
# Well, all right! # |
| 00:16:11 |
All the sudsy powers of hell! |
| 00:16:15 |
I will be kicking some |
| 00:16:19 |
Hurry, Otto, to the joystick! |
| 00:16:23 |
Ladies and gentlemen, the |
| 00:16:33 |
Miss Velvet von Black. |
| 00:16:40 |
# She's the girl you read about |
| 00:16:44 |
# While you've got your |
| 00:16:47 |
# She is more addictive |
| 00:16:51 |
# Velvet, Velvet von Black # |
| 00:16:55 |
# Every fella gives the |
| 00:16:59 |
# Melons that could |
| 00:17:01 |
# Of bears for a year # |
| 00:17:03 |
# Miles of tits and a garden of ass # |
| 00:17:06 |
# Velvet makes you harder |
| 00:17:10 |
# She could suck the gay |
| 00:17:13 |
# Of a painting of a unicorn # |
| 00:17:17 |
# She could fuck you |
| 00:17:21 |
# Her cans are posable # |
| 00:17:23 |
# That makes them hosable # |
| 00:17:27 |
# Two, three, four # |
| 00:17:29 |
# She'd be fun to lick |
| 00:17:33 |
# Especially if you like the taste |
| 00:17:36 |
# Did I forget to sing |
| 00:17:40 |
# Velvet, Velvet von Black # |
| 00:17:43 |
# If you want to meet her |
| 00:17:47 |
# Don't get shocked when |
| 00:17:52 |
# She will steal your cash |
| 00:17:55 |
# Velvet, Velvet von Black # |
| 00:17:59 |
# Funbags, meatballs # |
| 00:18:03 |
# Love stones, |
| 00:18:06 |
# Velvet, Velvet von Black. # |
| 00:18:16 |
Oh oh oh, is that it, Otto? |
| 00:18:18 |
The mark-- I think I see the mark. |
| 00:18:20 |
I think that mark could be |
| 00:18:23 |
Otto, you must fetch her for me. |
| 00:18:25 |
That could be the mark |
| 00:18:30 |
Just when I've almost |
| 00:18:33 |
Listen, you, you wouldn't |
| 00:18:36 |
if I hadn't put that smart screw |
| 00:18:39 |
I can always take it out, |
| 00:18:41 |
send you back to the jungle. |
| 00:18:44 |
You remember the |
| 00:18:52 |
Not the jungle! |
| 00:18:55 |
Are we on the same page, |
| 00:18:58 |
Yes yes, master, yes. |
| 00:19:01 |
Now huff it out of |
| 00:19:04 |
Ooh! Ooh! Ahh! Ahh! |
| 00:19:18 |
It's hot out. |
| 00:19:22 |
Tomorrow's |
| 00:19:25 |
they say. |
| 00:19:26 |
Yes, hot weather |
| 00:19:35 |
See the game last night? |
| 00:19:37 |
A real white-knuckler. |
| 00:19:41 |
That Puerto Rican kid |
| 00:19:44 |
can really hit. |
| 00:19:57 |
Okay, then. |
| 00:19:59 |
Here we go. See ya. |
| 00:20:01 |
Ah, finally. |
| 00:20:02 |
Ooh! Ooh! Ahh! Ahh! |
| 00:20:08 |
I think I left a nickel onstage. |
| 00:20:10 |
Consider it my donation |
| 00:20:14 |
Ay! What did she say? |
| 00:20:16 |
I said "sad ho," |
| 00:20:18 |
you sad-ass deaf ho. |
| 00:20:20 |
Funny! |
| 00:20:23 |
Goddamn wedgies |
| 00:20:36 |
Excuse me, but I didn't see no sign |
| 00:20:39 |
How charming. |
| 00:20:41 |
All right. Here we go. |
| 00:20:44 |
Keep it simple. |
| 00:20:46 |
After all, she's only a stripper. |
| 00:20:48 |
You're a world-famous |
| 00:20:50 |
No need to be nervous. |
| 00:20:52 |
Hello, Miss von Black? |
| 00:20:55 |
Come on, get in there. |
| 00:20:59 |
Excuse me? |
| 00:21:01 |
Come come come! |
| 00:21:03 |
Come in? I don't mind if I do. |
| 00:21:06 |
I hope you're not decent! |
| 00:21:11 |
Yowza! |
| 00:21:12 |
Hey, should I leave or join in? |
| 00:21:18 |
I'm just gonna go. |
| 00:21:19 |
Come on, Beasto. |
| 00:21:23 |
Stop thinking with your brain |
| 00:21:27 |
Do I look like a wheelbarrow? |
| 00:21:29 |
Get your hands off me! |
| 00:21:31 |
Did you say something? |
| 00:21:32 |
Negative. |
| 00:21:33 |
Hello, will somebody get |
| 00:21:38 |
Take your stinking paws |
| 00:21:43 |
Now that's a little derivative, |
| 00:21:56 |
That is one kinky broad. |
| 00:22:03 |
Hello, am I in for some |
| 00:22:07 |
Would you keep quiet? This is |
| 00:22:10 |
What would Penelope say if she |
| 00:22:13 |
Be-atch, your shit should be honored. |
| 00:22:14 |
I bet if I save Velvet |
| 00:22:17 |
she'll love me long time. |
| 00:22:19 |
But my order of hot wings |
| 00:22:21 |
and I do love the hot wings. |
| 00:22:24 |
Draping my ass over your |
| 00:22:26 |
like I was a mink-ass stole and shit. |
| 00:22:28 |
- Mink stole? More like a stanky mole. |
| 00:22:32 |
If you want to scratch this here, |
| 00:22:33 |
you better watch |
| 00:22:35 |
Oh, but she does |
| 00:22:37 |
And those jumbo jiggly-wigglies! |
| 00:22:40 |
The only thing that comes close |
| 00:22:41 |
is the bleu cheese |
| 00:22:43 |
You see, the wings are spicy, |
| 00:22:45 |
and the bleu cheese |
| 00:22:48 |
Madam, you repulse me. |
| 00:22:52 |
Hey, monkey, where's |
| 00:22:55 |
I find that very hurtful. |
| 00:22:58 |
Oh, boo hoo. |
| 00:23:00 |
Your thumb all up in my ass. |
| 00:23:03 |
My thumb is not in your ass! |
| 00:23:05 |
Well, why not? |
| 00:23:15 |
Aw! I'll save the day. |
| 00:23:19 |
Celebrity coming through. |
| 00:23:21 |
Out of the way, lard-ass. |
| 00:23:23 |
Grab my car, pronto. |
| 00:23:25 |
Hey, get to the back |
| 00:23:28 |
People, people, |
| 00:23:31 |
Motherfucker, |
| 00:23:35 |
Fine. Here's a free copy |
| 00:23:38 |
It's a full 40 minutes |
| 00:23:40 |
Hi, I'm calling from the bank. |
| 00:23:42 |
Beasto, nigga, I know it's you! |
| 00:23:44 |
No, it's not Beasto. |
| 00:23:48 |
Beasto, you hear me? |
| 00:23:50 |
Stop calling my ass. |
| 00:23:52 |
- I have some-- |
| 00:23:54 |
Banking business to-- |
| 00:24:00 |
Now I'm off to see Suzi X. |
| 00:24:02 |
What a dickhead! |
| 00:24:04 |
Thank you! |
| 00:24:09 |
# Explosion! |
| 00:24:14 |
# I think they're Nazis, |
| 00:24:18 |
# She throws a thing, |
| 00:24:20 |
# But a bunch get through # |
| 00:24:22 |
# Why does a zombie need a scarf? # |
| 00:24:25 |
# She turns left |
| 00:24:29 |
# Zombie Nazis |
| 00:24:33 |
# Here they come, |
| 00:24:36 |
# That's not safe |
| 00:24:38 |
# And here comes a train # |
| 00:24:40 |
# Sweet bleeding Christ, |
| 00:24:46 |
# Look at that asshole, |
| 00:24:49 |
# Oopsy, hundreds of people dead # |
| 00:24:53 |
# She got away and |
| 00:24:56 |
# Are you shitting me? |
| 00:25:00 |
# Zombie Nazis |
| 00:25:04 |
# Now the chase is done |
| 00:25:10 |
Okay, I'll make you a deal. |
| 00:25:13 |
You surrender |
| 00:25:16 |
and we promise |
| 00:25:20 |
That's the best I can do. |
| 00:25:21 |
Oh, I love it when you boys |
| 00:25:24 |
I get all crazy inside. |
| 00:25:26 |
- Now, who wants a little head? |
| 00:25:29 |
- Uh-oh. |
| 00:25:31 |
Oh, the flu, that's what I meant. |
| 00:25:35 |
- Get the Fuhrer's head, Hans, Wilhelm! |
| 00:25:38 |
Get the Fuhrer's head. |
| 00:25:44 |
Hold me tightly, |
| 00:25:48 |
Holy crap! |
| 00:25:50 |
Zip it and start spinning, |
| 00:25:53 |
# Zombie Nazis |
| 00:25:56 |
# Ooh-ooh # |
| 00:26:01 |
# Nice # |
| 00:26:05 |
# Zombies melting. # |
| 00:26:09 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:26:11 |
Cow-a-ya-ya! |
| 00:26:13 |
Beasto, what are |
| 00:26:14 |
- Hold this. Hah! |
| 00:26:18 |
He's the Little Tramp! |
| 00:26:20 |
He's hysterical. |
| 00:26:22 |
He's taller than I thought. |
| 00:26:23 |
What's up, bro? |
| 00:26:25 |
I need your help |
| 00:26:27 |
I mean, it's barely even that, really. |
| 00:26:29 |
- Let's call it a situation. |
| 00:26:31 |
don't waste my time. |
| 00:26:33 |
- No. |
| 00:26:35 |
- Nada. |
| 00:26:36 |
- Nein. |
| 00:26:38 |
- Nope. |
| 00:26:39 |
- Negative. |
| 00:26:40 |
- No. |
| 00:26:42 |
Fish patty? |
| 00:26:43 |
Vertical bacon sandwich? |
| 00:26:45 |
- No ma'am. |
| 00:26:47 |
You didn't say bat cave. |
| 00:26:49 |
What did you say? |
| 00:26:50 |
I said, |
| 00:26:51 |
it seems a crafty monkey |
| 00:26:53 |
kidnapped this sweet, innocent |
| 00:26:56 |
in front of my very eyes. |
| 00:26:58 |
The balls. |
| 00:27:01 |
Primate kidnappers? |
| 00:27:04 |
But if you're just trying to |
| 00:27:07 |
then you are gonna be |
| 00:27:10 |
Dynamite! |
| 00:27:11 |
Find out what tree the smelly ape |
| 00:27:14 |
- It's easy as pie. |
| 00:27:17 |
What exactly are you gonna do? |
| 00:27:19 |
For shizzle. I'm gonna keep it real, |
| 00:27:22 |
get the 411 from my boys |
| 00:27:24 |
Oh, and here's your pickled Fuhrer. |
| 00:27:28 |
All right, Shitler Youth, |
| 00:27:32 |
You want it? Here it is. |
| 00:27:35 |
Agh! My Fuhrer! |
| 00:27:37 |
I will save you! |
| 00:27:38 |
At last, mein Fuhrer, |
| 00:27:44 |
All hail the Fuhrer! |
| 00:27:46 |
Our fearless leader |
| 00:27:48 |
Whoo! |
| 00:27:55 |
I think you're gonna like |
| 00:27:58 |
Mein Fuhrer, why do you |
| 00:28:02 |
Oh, what a big breath mint. |
| 00:28:11 |
So I told that bitch, |
| 00:28:14 |
Them shits are mine!" |
| 00:28:16 |
Where the fuck we gong now? |
| 00:28:18 |
What kind of "Fright Night" |
| 00:28:20 |
Oh, please refrain |
| 00:28:22 |
I know you must be proud |
| 00:28:24 |
but your constant use of profanity |
| 00:28:27 |
is an assault on my |
| 00:28:30 |
I ain't the one with a dingleberry |
| 00:28:32 |
hanging off my ass hairs, |
| 00:28:34 |
Yes, well I'm not so sure about that. |
| 00:28:37 |
The stank in this landfill |
| 00:28:39 |
I'm gonna have to get |
| 00:28:48 |
Hey, how about them gas prices? |
| 00:28:51 |
Not that I have any place to go. |
| 00:28:56 |
Hey, monkey. |
| 00:28:59 |
I think he's talking to you. |
| 00:29:01 |
He sure-ass ain't talking to me. |
| 00:29:05 |
T.G.I.F., huh? |
| 00:29:08 |
Yeah. |
| 00:29:10 |
Friday already? |
| 00:29:14 |
All day. |
| 00:29:19 |
Oh. Speaking of gas prices. Ew! |
| 00:29:23 |
Shit. Even my ass is bored. |
| 00:29:26 |
Don't think I'm apologizing, |
| 00:29:29 |
- You know that shit smells good. |
| 00:29:32 |
the plowman's lunch. |
| 00:29:33 |
Finally got that itching under control. |
| 00:29:36 |
- Oh, God. |
| 00:29:57 |
Hey, what's wrong |
| 00:30:02 |
Hey, fellas. |
| 00:30:09 |
What the friggidy-fuck? |
| 00:30:12 |
Yo, ese, where you been? |
| 00:30:14 |
Turned your back |
| 00:30:17 |
- Blood is blood. |
| 00:30:21 |
I lost my cell phone too. |
| 00:30:22 |
I lost, like, every number. |
| 00:30:24 |
You look good, really good. |
| 00:30:27 |
That's not cool, homes. |
| 00:30:29 |
You could have been dead |
| 00:30:31 |
We were worried sick. |
| 00:30:32 |
Rodriguez hasn't slept |
| 00:30:36 |
Look, Rico, you're my homey. |
| 00:30:40 |
And as Ricky Ricardo said to Fred, |
| 00:30:42 |
"Don't be such a pussy." |
| 00:30:44 |
Look what you've done |
| 00:30:46 |
You are so mean. |
| 00:30:47 |
Oh, boo-hoo. |
| 00:30:49 |
Look, I need some info |
| 00:30:52 |
Not so fast, homes. |
| 00:30:55 |
First, we gotta see |
| 00:30:57 |
I was afraid of this. |
| 00:31:07 |
No way! |
| 00:31:15 |
Are you still the man, bro! |
| 00:31:17 |
Yes I am! |
| 00:31:18 |
I missed you guys. |
| 00:31:21 |
Get in here! |
| 00:31:24 |
Okay. |
| 00:31:25 |
Getting a little gay, fellas. |
| 00:31:35 |
This is it. Make |
| 00:31:37 |
No, don't-- I'm afraid |
| 00:31:40 |
Mm-hmm. |
| 00:31:41 |
Flat screen! Mmm. |
| 00:31:44 |
Sweet. Better be |
| 00:31:46 |
Better be a fucking minibar. |
| 00:31:48 |
Hot damn, there is! |
| 00:31:51 |
I'll be back to run your bath. |
| 00:31:53 |
Perhaps performing some ablutions |
| 00:31:56 |
- And try to remain somewhat coherent. |
| 00:31:59 |
You're the one who's all |
| 00:32:02 |
What the hell are these |
| 00:32:04 |
What you think I am, |
| 00:32:07 |
I ain't no Lilliputian and shit! |
| 00:32:08 |
Nice mouth. You'll make |
| 00:32:13 |
# I hear the cottonwoods |
| 00:32:23 |
Now... |
| 00:32:26 |
There we go. Hello. |
| 00:32:32 |
Attaboy, attaboy! |
| 00:32:34 |
That's it. Keep it going! |
| 00:32:40 |
Ho, ho, come on, buddy, |
| 00:32:42 |
Stick with it, stick with it! |
| 00:32:44 |
Keep it up, |
| 00:32:46 |
Dr. Satan, I-- |
| 00:32:48 |
What did I say about |
| 00:32:50 |
Dreadfully sorry about |
| 00:32:52 |
A Miss von Black |
| 00:32:54 |
Sorry, nothing. |
| 00:32:56 |
Damn it! |
| 00:32:59 |
# El Superbeasto! # |
| 00:33:05 |
# El Superbeasto! # |
| 00:33:13 |
Hmm. |
| 00:33:18 |
Come on, Suzi, call! |
| 00:33:19 |
What am I up against? |
| 00:33:21 |
I do not call this professional. |
| 00:33:24 |
Aw, screw it. What's |
| 00:33:27 |
No, no! |
| 00:33:30 |
Nah. |
| 00:33:32 |
That stuff only happens |
| 00:33:34 |
Yeah... |
| 00:33:38 |
- What the-- |
| 00:33:40 |
Oh, you're a dirty little girl, |
| 00:33:44 |
- Daddy likey. |
| 00:33:45 |
Oh, you want to make |
| 00:33:48 |
Ow-a-ya-ya. |
| 00:33:51 |
Ooh, ooh, ooh. |
| 00:33:52 |
Yowza! |
| 00:33:53 |
Damn, baby, your shit is tight. |
| 00:33:57 |
- Burt? |
| 00:33:58 |
Burt, you sly dog. |
| 00:34:01 |
Hey, listen, have you seen |
| 00:34:04 |
Man, he went that way carrying |
| 00:34:08 |
Hey! That's cold, baby! |
| 00:34:13 |
Give me a call if this |
| 00:34:15 |
Hey, squirrel, do I look like |
| 00:34:19 |
I ain't here to talk. I'm here |
| 00:34:21 |
How about you make yourself useful |
| 00:34:25 |
Oh, Mama, I got your nuts |
| 00:34:30 |
Sorry about the door. |
| 00:34:36 |
All right, babies, listen up! |
| 00:34:38 |
It's Suzi X! |
| 00:34:41 |
I just remembered I've got to go |
| 00:34:44 |
I've got to put some |
| 00:34:46 |
So long! |
| 00:34:50 |
You see that girl? |
| 00:34:53 |
She's my girlfriend. |
| 00:34:54 |
- Oh, let's spank them pushin' cushions! |
| 00:34:57 |
That's fresh. |
| 00:34:59 |
Funbags are fully inflated and are |
| 00:35:03 |
Oh, you want some clown business, |
| 00:35:06 |
Well, |
| 00:35:08 |
dig these buns of steel! |
| 00:35:09 |
Ow, my hand, you bitch! |
| 00:35:13 |
I need some info on |
| 00:35:17 |
and I'm gonna squeeze every one |
| 00:35:26 |
I have to take this. |
| 00:35:29 |
Uh, have we heard anything? |
| 00:35:31 |
Oh, really? |
| 00:35:34 |
That's all I'm saying. If Flavor Flav |
| 00:35:39 |
See, now we're on the same page... |
| 00:35:41 |
Dr. Satan, that is the |
| 00:35:45 |
that saw me kidnap |
| 00:35:47 |
So? The graveyard is |
| 00:35:50 |
What's the big stinkeroo? |
| 00:35:52 |
Ooh, pretty. |
| 00:36:01 |
I'm not yelling at you! |
| 00:36:03 |
I'm not-- I'm not yelling at you. |
| 00:36:04 |
I'm just saying I deserve |
| 00:36:10 |
Well, I am-- I know I'm a star, |
| 00:36:12 |
but I want to be a |
| 00:36:17 |
Um, I gotta go. |
| 00:36:19 |
Listen to me, tootsie. |
| 00:36:20 |
Ain't no dame ever gonna |
| 00:36:23 |
I've been kicked around by the best! |
| 00:36:25 |
Joey the Roach, Frankie the Mug, |
| 00:36:29 |
All right, you little worm, |
| 00:36:31 |
to tell me who that smelly ape |
| 00:36:33 |
is working for or I'm gonna |
| 00:36:36 |
- into a million pieces! |
| 00:36:39 |
- Uno... |
| 00:36:40 |
- ...dos... |
| 00:36:43 |
...and three-- |
| 00:36:46 |
Go ahead, blondie. |
| 00:36:49 |
I don't want to live! |
| 00:36:52 |
Ah, fine. Dr. Satan. |
| 00:36:55 |
Murray, we've got a name, an address. |
| 00:36:57 |
Let's move, Tin Man! |
| 00:36:59 |
Thanks, fellas. |
| 00:37:01 |
Ta-ta! |
| 00:37:08 |
You picked the wrong guy |
| 00:37:11 |
I just lost another goddamn pilot |
| 00:37:16 |
You like that? |
| 00:37:18 |
This is the result of several pushups |
| 00:37:22 |
It looks kind of shitty |
| 00:37:25 |
Ow, my ball joint! |
| 00:37:28 |
Listen, ass pile, |
| 00:37:30 |
get out of my fucking fuckface. |
| 00:37:33 |
No, you get out of my friggin' face! |
| 00:37:36 |
Out of the way, Sally. |
| 00:37:38 |
No siree, Barbara! |
| 00:37:40 |
Look, Mary, |
| 00:37:44 |
I don't have time for this shit! |
| 00:37:46 |
Oh, yeah? Well, you're |
| 00:37:49 |
you stupid baby. |
| 00:37:50 |
Hold that thought. |
| 00:37:52 |
Yello? |
| 00:37:54 |
Who loves you, baby? |
| 00:37:55 |
Dig it-- I got the lowdown |
| 00:37:58 |
Yeah, the ape works for |
| 00:38:00 |
and he's trying to take |
| 00:38:02 |
Huh. Yeah, right! |
| 00:38:04 |
Dr. Satan? Holy schnikeys! |
| 00:38:07 |
What would that crazy fruit ball |
| 00:38:10 |
Did you say "your lady"? |
| 00:38:12 |
I knew this was about pussy! |
| 00:38:15 |
Cell phone people are so rude! |
| 00:38:18 |
Beasto, are you all right? |
| 00:38:20 |
Fred Savage, is that you? |
| 00:38:26 |
Murray, I can dig a scene, and |
| 00:38:29 |
Beasto's hit the ultraskids and |
| 00:38:32 |
with a brother in Dragsville, baby. |
| 00:38:37 |
# Check it out, |
| 00:38:38 |
# The ladies' pimp # |
| 00:38:39 |
# The women fight for my delight # |
| 00:38:41 |
# But I'm the grand master |
| 00:38:44 |
# That shock the house |
| 00:38:46 |
# And when you come inside, |
| 00:38:48 |
# You do the freak, spank, |
| 00:38:50 |
# And when the sucker MCs |
| 00:38:52 |
# We're treacherous trio, |
| 00:38:55 |
# From sun to sun |
| 00:38:57 |
# I sit down and write |
| 00:38:59 |
# Because they say that |
| 00:39:01 |
# I've created a |
| 00:39:03 |
# I'm gonna rock the mike |
| 00:39:05 |
# Everybody, I say it goes like this... # |
| 00:39:07 |
Oh, my! |
| 00:39:09 |
God damn it, |
| 00:39:12 |
Oh, ho ho. Who the fuck is that? |
| 00:39:16 |
Quit with the charade. |
| 00:39:19 |
Everybody in this room |
| 00:39:22 |
Am I right, people? |
| 00:39:25 |
- You! |
| 00:39:30 |
You're that dorky freshman |
| 00:39:33 |
No, I'm not. |
| 00:39:38 |
Yeah yeah yeah. |
| 00:39:40 |
You're little |
| 00:39:43 |
Be aggressive! |
| 00:39:45 |
- # If you love blueberries... # |
| 00:39:47 |
- #...Kiss my toes... # |
| 00:39:49 |
# If you've got an appetite |
| 00:39:53 |
# Huffin' and puffin' # |
| 00:39:55 |
# Eat me up! # |
| 00:39:56 |
# I'm your real love muscle! # |
| 00:40:01 |
Okay, nice song, nerd. |
| 00:40:03 |
Listen to this one. |
| 00:40:04 |
Hey! |
| 00:40:09 |
Yeah! |
| 00:40:11 |
Get a load of this, ladies. |
| 00:40:12 |
I'm awesome! |
| 00:40:15 |
Let's not go through all that again. |
| 00:40:17 |
Just hand Velvet over |
| 00:40:19 |
and I can get busy |
| 00:40:21 |
All right, listen up, |
| 00:40:23 |
Velvet von Black is mine! |
| 00:40:25 |
At midnight she will be |
| 00:40:28 |
Mine! Mine mine mine mine mine! |
| 00:40:34 |
Oh, is that me? |
| 00:40:35 |
I gotta take this. |
| 00:40:37 |
Yello? |
| 00:40:39 |
Talk to me, baby. |
| 00:40:40 |
Give me some good news. |
| 00:40:41 |
Oh, really? |
| 00:40:43 |
Krongarr, discipline him! |
| 00:40:47 |
Yes, master, yes! |
| 00:40:53 |
That's right, bitch! |
| 00:40:55 |
Yeah, we'll see who's wedgie boy now, |
| 00:41:03 |
Ouch! |
| 00:41:06 |
There you are. Yo, go pass me |
| 00:41:11 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:41:13 |
Hey hey, easy with |
| 00:41:16 |
I'm tender-headed! |
| 00:41:17 |
Believe me, I don't want to |
| 00:41:20 |
Don't front. You know you |
| 00:41:22 |
You want your monkey juice |
| 00:41:25 |
No, put the twins to bed. |
| 00:41:26 |
I would rather shuck out my eyes |
| 00:41:29 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 00:41:30 |
Hand me that bottle, Bozo. |
| 00:41:32 |
Here you go-- oh! |
| 00:41:34 |
Hey hey hey, you're dirtying |
| 00:41:37 |
Whoa. Oh. |
| 00:41:39 |
Ooh, hey, that's not half bad. |
| 00:41:43 |
Hidden talents and shit. |
| 00:41:45 |
Agh! |
| 00:41:47 |
It's like bilge water |
| 00:41:50 |
Now why'd you stop? |
| 00:41:53 |
- Shit! |
| 00:41:55 |
like casting George Lazenby |
| 00:41:57 |
Mistake, my ass. You know, once |
| 00:42:02 |
That's von Black, bitch. |
| 00:42:03 |
I need some mouthwash |
| 00:42:08 |
Why? Why? Why? |
| 00:42:13 |
Why? Why? |
| 00:42:17 |
Hey, brother, snap out of it! |
| 00:42:19 |
That's just perfect. |
| 00:42:22 |
All right, who said it? |
| 00:42:23 |
Who dared interrupt |
| 00:42:26 |
Well, that would |
| 00:42:28 |
the toughest mat-grappler |
| 00:42:31 |
El Gato! |
| 00:42:35 |
Who really gives a shit? |
| 00:42:36 |
Now if you'll excuse me, |
| 00:42:39 |
- Okay, bring it up. |
| 00:42:41 |
- Up a bit, yeah. |
| 00:42:42 |
- Okay, that's it. |
| 00:42:44 |
Um-- damn it. |
| 00:42:48 |
See, this is what happens. |
| 00:42:51 |
Line, please. |
| 00:42:52 |
- Why? |
| 00:42:57 |
Why? Why? Why? |
| 00:43:02 |
Why? Why? |
| 00:43:06 |
I can't believe you're here. |
| 00:43:09 |
locked in chains like |
| 00:43:12 |
Yeah, well, this is |
| 00:43:15 |
You remember when |
| 00:43:18 |
the Raging Earth's Crust |
| 00:43:20 |
- No. |
| 00:43:21 |
He was squeezing my head |
| 00:43:23 |
- like I was a tit-- |
| 00:43:25 |
I'm trying to formulate |
| 00:43:28 |
Then he yanked my balls off. |
| 00:43:30 |
That's great. |
| 00:43:33 |
I bet they gave you a party cake |
| 00:43:36 |
Oh, no. Can't have any cake. |
| 00:43:38 |
But I did get a new set of |
| 00:43:42 |
- See? |
| 00:43:44 |
Could this get any more repulsive? |
| 00:43:47 |
Oh, sweet buns-- |
| 00:43:51 |
Oh, I love 'em. |
| 00:43:52 |
Beasto's Hot Wheel's |
| 00:44:00 |
I dig the new cycle, Murray. |
| 00:44:01 |
But if I didn't know better, |
| 00:44:04 |
shall we say, kinky. |
| 00:44:07 |
Kinky? Um, uh, no, |
| 00:44:11 |
I meticulously calculated |
| 00:44:13 |
and that was the most |
| 00:44:16 |
Time to change, Murray. |
| 00:44:17 |
If somebody caught me wearing the |
| 00:44:20 |
I think it would |
| 00:44:23 |
Oh, I understand |
| 00:44:25 |
sometimes achy-break. |
| 00:44:28 |
Suzi, oh, please-- |
| 00:44:30 |
Wow, Murray, you're a riot. |
| 00:44:32 |
Let me tell you-- count yourself |
| 00:44:35 |
You never have to feel the rush |
| 00:44:38 |
pumping life into vital organs, |
| 00:44:40 |
throbbing, pulsating, |
| 00:44:44 |
swelling, pumping. |
| 00:44:51 |
- Agh! |
| 00:44:52 |
- Oh, God! |
| 00:45:00 |
Murray, I think we've got company. |
| 00:45:04 |
There they are! |
| 00:45:05 |
# Zombie Nazis standing |
| 00:45:09 |
Love is a battlefield. |
| 00:45:12 |
Ah, the wisdom of Benatar. |
| 00:45:15 |
Witness the carnage, Otto. |
| 00:45:17 |
Welcome to |
| 00:45:24 |
22 failed marriages. |
| 00:45:27 |
Where did I go wrong? |
| 00:45:30 |
Take Deirdre. |
| 00:45:32 |
Oh, how I adored her. |
| 00:45:35 |
Oh, she was beneath you, sir-- |
| 00:45:36 |
and beneath every man on the |
| 00:45:39 |
Oh? And what would |
| 00:45:42 |
Anyway, she was boring. |
| 00:45:44 |
Ah, my second marriage, to Lilith, |
| 00:45:48 |
Mmm! |
| 00:45:49 |
Ah, Shirley. |
| 00:45:52 |
couple of father issues, though. |
| 00:45:54 |
Oh, Maria. |
| 00:45:56 |
Philosophical differences. |
| 00:45:58 |
Impala-- she wouldn't |
| 00:46:01 |
Sarah-- |
| 00:46:03 |
Sex was mechanical! |
| 00:46:05 |
Too clingy. |
| 00:46:06 |
Too bossy. |
| 00:46:07 |
Oh! My dry cleaning. |
| 00:46:09 |
Nope. |
| 00:46:10 |
No no no no no. |
| 00:46:11 |
Nose! |
| 00:46:12 |
Ball busters on parade, brother! |
| 00:46:15 |
22 wives, Otto, |
| 00:46:17 |
all of them abysmal catastrophes! |
| 00:46:20 |
A total waste of time! |
| 00:46:21 |
Oh, but how I love the ladies! |
| 00:46:24 |
Nothing will stop me now! |
| 00:46:27 |
Get me Velvet von Black! |
| 00:46:31 |
- What was that? |
| 00:46:33 |
if you ask me. But quite honestly, |
| 00:46:36 |
Oh, shit. |
| 00:46:40 |
Well, then-- there are only two things |
| 00:46:44 |
my Uncle Carl in a thong, |
| 00:46:47 |
Well, I got bad news for you, son. |
| 00:46:49 |
And worse news. |
| 00:46:50 |
Uh, what's the bad news? |
| 00:46:52 |
Hey, Beasto, you want to |
| 00:46:55 |
Uncle Carl! |
| 00:46:57 |
Jesus, Mary, and Seacrest! |
| 00:47:00 |
What's the worse news? |
| 00:47:01 |
Hey, check this out. |
| 00:47:05 |
B- b-b-b-b-b! |
| 00:47:11 |
Oh, moist. |
| 00:47:12 |
That's a new one. |
| 00:47:14 |
People'd pay money to see that. |
| 00:47:15 |
I can't take it. |
| 00:47:18 |
I'm a celebrity, damn it! |
| 00:47:20 |
Wachowski, get ready for |
| 00:47:29 |
Whoo! Attaboy! |
| 00:47:46 |
My pretty Miss X. |
| 00:47:49 |
You thought you'd seen |
| 00:47:52 |
Yeah, well, I was kinda hoping, |
| 00:47:54 |
I did change my outfit and all. |
| 00:48:00 |
It looks like it was painted on. |
| 00:48:02 |
- She's much hotter than Eva Braun. |
| 00:48:07 |
Now you're cooking with gas! |
| 00:48:09 |
Ooh, sexy Mama! |
| 00:48:11 |
Silence, Grossberger! |
| 00:48:12 |
Very clever, Miss X, |
| 00:48:15 |
but you are not familiar |
| 00:48:20 |
Hmm, which one? |
| 00:48:23 |
There's "Fuck Nazis," |
| 00:48:24 |
"God Damn Nazis," |
| 00:48:26 |
"Nazi Assholes," |
| 00:48:27 |
"Nazi Pricks," |
| 00:48:28 |
"Nazi Douche Bags," |
| 00:48:29 |
"Nazi Jerk Offs"-- |
| 00:48:30 |
the list just goes on and on. |
| 00:48:32 |
Ha ha ha. |
| 00:48:36 |
No, my pretty. |
| 00:48:39 |
that the one who vanquishes |
| 00:48:43 |
will suffer the second coming |
| 00:48:45 |
Arise, soldiers of the Third Reich! |
| 00:48:54 |
Nobody's laughing now! |
| 00:48:56 |
Well, I am, but it's |
| 00:49:00 |
Correct me if I'm wrong here, |
| 00:49:01 |
but wouldn't the second coming |
| 00:49:04 |
actually be the first coming |
| 00:49:07 |
What did you say? |
| 00:49:09 |
Since this is the new one |
| 00:49:11 |
wouldn't this technically |
| 00:49:14 |
That's right. You go, girl. |
| 00:49:19 |
Technically she is correct. |
| 00:49:21 |
Wilhelm, would you do me a favor? |
| 00:49:23 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:49:24 |
Aw, forget it. |
| 00:49:26 |
Wait wait, my brothers. |
| 00:49:28 |
Do over! Do over! |
| 00:49:30 |
Arise, soldiers of either the |
| 00:49:34 |
you know, depending on |
| 00:49:38 |
Who's your daddy now? |
| 00:49:41 |
Murray, prepare |
| 00:49:44 |
Let's get it done! |
| 00:49:49 |
So, Dr. Satan, huh? |
| 00:49:51 |
You a doctor, like a PhD and shit? |
| 00:49:53 |
Ah, Velvet, you are the most |
| 00:49:58 |
I have ever met. |
| 00:50:00 |
That's 'cause I'm a fuckin' lady. |
| 00:50:03 |
Hmm. I don't want |
| 00:50:07 |
but the truth is I've grown |
| 00:50:09 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:50:10 |
Yeah, me too. |
| 00:50:12 |
You got some nice digs, though. |
| 00:50:14 |
When Tananeesha and |
| 00:50:17 |
ooh, it's gonna be on! |
| 00:50:18 |
Them bitches gonna be jealous. |
| 00:50:19 |
Velvet, I'm going to cut to the chase. |
| 00:50:22 |
50% of everything |
| 00:50:25 |
if you will be my bride. |
| 00:50:27 |
Oh, Satan, you're |
| 00:50:30 |
And now, my dear-- |
| 00:50:35 |
And now-- |
| 00:50:37 |
Otto! |
| 00:50:39 |
Where the fuck is the ring? |
| 00:50:40 |
How fast do you think I can |
| 00:50:46 |
Hmm, so, this is awkward. |
| 00:50:49 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 00:51:01 |
Be my number 23. |
| 00:51:04 |
Da-a-amn! |
| 00:51:05 |
Now that's what |
| 00:51:07 |
That shit's tight! |
| 00:51:08 |
Aiight, I'm down. |
| 00:51:10 |
Let's turn this mother out! |
| 00:51:11 |
Whoa-ho-ho-ho! |
| 00:51:13 |
We are gonna have |
| 00:51:21 |
You gotta understand-- |
| 00:51:24 |
it's a lifestyle. |
| 00:51:26 |
Look at me. I don't eat carbs. |
| 00:51:28 |
I don't eat 'em after 8:00. |
| 00:51:29 |
I just don't do it. |
| 00:51:45 |
You know what we are, |
| 00:51:47 |
I'll tell ya-- |
| 00:51:48 |
Not so fast, my big-balled friend. |
| 00:51:51 |
I didn't come this far to go down |
| 00:51:55 |
during Fleet Week. |
| 00:52:04 |
Uh, music. |
| 00:52:08 |
# El Superbeasto... # |
| 00:52:28 |
What the-- |
| 00:52:31 |
Whoo, that was a lot of fun. |
| 00:52:34 |
I haven't kicked ass |
| 00:52:36 |
Wait, I hear something. |
| 00:52:38 |
Is that Bodislav Bodinsky |
| 00:52:41 |
Outrageous! |
| 00:52:43 |
Let's go! |
| 00:52:45 |
Oh, sure, use a man's balls |
| 00:52:48 |
and then don't wait for him! |
| 00:52:50 |
Kraut bogey, 5:00! |
| 00:52:55 |
When I woke up this morning |
| 00:52:59 |
Mind if I borrow these |
| 00:53:05 |
Time to take over, big boy. |
| 00:53:06 |
I'm going in. |
| 00:53:07 |
Going in? |
| 00:53:11 |
Damn iit, Otto, this is my special day |
| 00:53:16 |
Now, hold still. |
| 00:53:17 |
I don't think you're |
| 00:53:20 |
Not taking it seriously? |
| 00:53:23 |
Whose idea was it for the giant |
| 00:53:29 |
You. |
| 00:53:30 |
And who was going |
| 00:53:33 |
with a life-size ice sculpture |
| 00:53:35 |
of His Supreme Evilness |
| 00:53:39 |
- You didn't. |
| 00:53:45 |
Well, that's fine and dandy, |
| 00:53:47 |
but did you ever stop |
| 00:53:48 |
and think that if you weren't |
| 00:53:51 |
parading around |
| 00:53:54 |
then you would have noticed |
| 00:53:56 |
about to throw a |
| 00:53:58 |
in my master plan, |
| 00:54:02 |
Fuck you and your shrimp boat. |
| 00:54:05 |
I'm doing this my way. |
| 00:54:08 |
Oh! I meant to do that. |
| 00:54:10 |
Mark my words, Steven. |
| 00:54:12 |
They're all gonna laugh at you. |
| 00:54:21 |
Don't all try and crowd in |
| 00:54:23 |
There'll be another shuttle |
| 00:54:26 |
Hmm. Perfect. |
| 00:54:28 |
There's enough pigs-in-a-blanket |
| 00:54:32 |
- Hi. |
| 00:54:33 |
So, are you with the bride |
| 00:54:36 |
I'm with the groom, honeycakes. |
| 00:54:38 |
Slut! |
| 00:54:39 |
Please, Mildred, |
| 00:54:42 |
She seems nice. |
| 00:54:48 |
So, Latrizza, I'm just saying, |
| 00:54:50 |
he's a crazy, fugly sonofabitch, |
| 00:54:52 |
but I'm gonna get all that money, |
| 00:54:56 |
Half, bitch, you |
| 00:55:00 |
Darling, are you almost ready? |
| 00:55:03 |
Oh, I know you ain't talking to me. |
| 00:55:05 |
Do I look motherfucking ready? |
| 00:55:06 |
Yeah, you needs to |
| 00:55:09 |
No, I just thought that- that-- |
| 00:55:12 |
Thought what? |
| 00:55:13 |
- Um-- |
| 00:55:14 |
- Uh, um-- |
| 00:55:16 |
Yo, spit that motherfucking shit |
| 00:55:20 |
Please, sweetie pants, |
| 00:55:21 |
your tone is distressing! |
| 00:55:23 |
Special day. |
| 00:55:27 |
I'll be ready when I'm goddamn ready. |
| 00:55:30 |
Yo, is this the way you gonna be, |
| 00:55:31 |
acting like a fool and shit? |
| 00:55:34 |
Act a fool? |
| 00:55:36 |
No, cupcake. |
| 00:55:40 |
I'm gonna act like this! |
| 00:55:52 |
Is there something |
| 00:55:54 |
I'll save my comments for later, sir. |
| 00:55:56 |
Then get this frozen |
| 00:56:00 |
Oh my God, |
| 00:56:03 |
Here, you try them. |
| 00:56:05 |
Time to blend in and mingle. |
| 00:56:08 |
Holy mother jugs! |
| 00:56:12 |
Hey there, hot pants. |
| 00:56:16 |
Take a picture. |
| 00:56:18 |
Whoa! Hey, Suzi. |
| 00:56:20 |
Creepy. Incest. |
| 00:56:25 |
Places, people. Places, everyone! |
| 00:56:28 |
The wedding |
| 00:56:32 |
All right, hotshot. |
| 00:56:34 |
Admit it, this was always |
| 00:56:39 |
- Wasn't it? |
| 00:56:42 |
No. I mean, it was, |
| 00:56:45 |
Then it wasn't. |
| 00:56:47 |
Agh! listen, listen! |
| 00:56:50 |
Dr. Satan is Steve Wachowski, |
| 00:56:52 |
and if he marries this broad |
| 00:56:56 |
Steve Wachowski? Why does |
| 00:57:00 |
You know, I mean |
| 00:57:02 |
Does the phrase, "Eat me, I'm |
| 00:57:08 |
I think I just threw up |
| 00:57:09 |
This demented maniac |
| 00:57:12 |
Uh, what do we do? |
| 00:57:14 |
Whoa! |
| 00:57:23 |
Oh! |
| 00:57:25 |
Hey, baby, show me your tits. |
| 00:57:27 |
Madam, please keep your |
| 00:57:30 |
You ain't the boss of me. |
| 00:57:31 |
Nice! |
| 00:57:32 |
All right, they're out. |
| 00:57:37 |
Dearly beloved, |
| 00:57:41 |
to join these two begotten |
| 00:57:45 |
Some tears would be nice. |
| 00:57:47 |
Anyway, here we will |
| 00:57:51 |
I mean Satan-- |
| 00:57:53 |
- and his big-titted... |
| 00:57:55 |
don't you think we should be out |
| 00:57:58 |
I'm telling you, this plan is foolproof. |
| 00:58:00 |
All I've got to do is pull this rope |
| 00:58:04 |
Hey, come on, have I ever |
| 00:58:07 |
Well, there was that one time |
| 00:58:10 |
against the dreaded man-eating |
| 00:58:12 |
Ring a bell? |
| 00:58:13 |
Ow! I told you, I missed my flight. |
| 00:58:17 |
They overbooked first class. |
| 00:58:20 |
You know I can't have |
| 00:58:24 |
Other than that my record |
| 00:58:29 |
If there is anyone among you |
| 00:58:32 |
this wedding should not |
| 00:58:33 |
speak now or forever |
| 00:58:39 |
Then there was the time |
| 00:58:41 |
and missed the massacre |
| 00:58:43 |
Does that one ring a bell? |
| 00:58:45 |
Clearly not my fault. |
| 00:58:47 |
I set that clock to AM. |
| 00:58:52 |
Do you, Velvet von Black, |
| 00:58:54 |
take, um, this well-read |
| 00:58:59 |
to be your |
| 00:59:01 |
Do I look stupid? |
| 00:59:05 |
I love him! |
| 00:59:06 |
Dr. Satan, do you take Velvet von Black |
| 00:59:09 |
as your unlawfully wedded whore-- |
| 00:59:11 |
I mean wife? |
| 00:59:13 |
I do! |
| 00:59:15 |
- Wait. Did you hear something? |
| 00:59:17 |
I now pronounce you |
| 00:59:21 |
Look out! |
| 00:59:23 |
# This scene is so familiar # |
| 00:59:26 |
# Like I've seen it once before # |
| 00:59:29 |
# Was it in a dream |
| 00:59:34 |
# I'm really not sure # |
| 00:59:38 |
# Wait, it's coming to me # |
| 00:59:40 |
# I think I got it # |
| 00:59:43 |
# Ooh, why'd you |
| 00:59:49 |
# Since the movie started # |
| 00:59:53 |
# This part is the most retarded # |
| 00:59:57 |
# Why, why'd you |
| 01:00:04 |
# With the sound effect |
| 01:00:08 |
# Did you ask DePalma |
| 01:00:12 |
# If you could |
| 01:00:16 |
Oh, yeah. Nice play, Shakespeare. |
| 01:00:18 |
Uh, yeah. |
| 01:00:21 |
Not exactly what I had in mind. |
| 01:00:24 |
Okey-dokey, artichokey. |
| 01:00:26 |
Time to do this my way! |
| 01:00:28 |
Hmm? |
| 01:00:30 |
Cowa-ya-- |
| 01:00:36 |
You're too late! |
| 01:00:37 |
Satan boombaye! |
| 01:00:41 |
Wake up, Beasto! |
| 01:00:44 |
Caramels are chewy. |
| 01:00:57 |
Now my dream has come true! |
| 01:00:59 |
Steve Wachowski, vice-president |
| 01:01:02 |
and Suzi X, homecoming queen |
| 01:01:07 |
Hey, loosen up, man. |
| 01:01:13 |
Oh, no he didn't! |
| 01:01:59 |
Holy mother of God! |
| 01:02:04 |
Santa Claus is dead. |
| 01:02:07 |
- Evil wins. |
| 01:02:10 |
Is-- stop that back there! |
| 01:02:12 |
Is there anyone |
| 01:02:24 |
There they are. |
| 01:02:25 |
What? |
| 01:02:27 |
Ow! |
| 01:02:28 |
That two-timing playa wannabe |
| 01:02:32 |
I'm gonna beat his dumb red ass. |
| 01:02:39 |
This is nice, isn't it? |
| 01:02:41 |
Just the two of us reminiscing |
| 01:02:46 |
Oh, it's like we're back in homeroom |
| 01:02:51 |
Eww! Hands off, Dr. Perv! |
| 01:02:53 |
Say, here's a real blast |
| 01:02:56 |
# If you love blueberries, |
| 01:02:59 |
# If you like apple sauce, |
| 01:03:02 |
# If you've got an appetite for |
| 01:03:06 |
# Well, then, baby, eat me up! # |
| 01:03:09 |
# I said eat me up # |
| 01:03:12 |
# I'm your real love muffin! # |
| 01:03:17 |
Put the ho down! |
| 01:03:23 |
I said back away |
| 01:03:27 |
What? Who you calling |
| 01:03:30 |
Well, it must be you, bitch. |
| 01:03:33 |
You're the only stank-ass |
| 01:03:38 |
Excuse me, Dr. Satan. |
| 01:03:40 |
Would you mind putting me down |
| 01:03:43 |
I really don't think that that's-- |
| 01:03:47 |
- Sweet baby mother! |
| 01:03:50 |
Yes, dear. |
| 01:03:54 |
Yo, what was that, be-atch? |
| 01:03:57 |
Do I stutter? |
| 01:03:58 |
All right! |
| 01:03:59 |
# Pull my hair, |
| 01:04:01 |
# They'll struggle to the pavement |
| 01:04:04 |
# Cat fight # |
| 01:04:06 |
Is it wrong this is turning me on? |
| 01:04:08 |
- # Hey there, mister, that's your sister # |
| 01:04:10 |
# Boner's are a poppin' |
| 01:04:13 |
# Cat fight # |
| 01:04:15 |
# All will want to poke you when |
| 01:04:17 |
# At the cat fight. # |
| 01:04:20 |
# It's all right to |
| 01:04:24 |
# The Japanese do it every day # |
| 01:04:27 |
# So rub one out for the U.S.A. # |
| 01:04:32 |
# The U.S.A. # |
| 01:04:35 |
Ooh, you're gonna get it! |
| 01:04:46 |
- # Pull the leg back, hear it crack # |
| 01:04:48 |
Say my name, bitch! |
| 01:04:51 |
# Bite the ass # |
| 01:04:53 |
# Jump up, gonna kick you back # |
| 01:04:54 |
Splish splash... # |
| 01:04:57 |
Takenzie her top offen! |
| 01:05:01 |
# 'Cause masturbation's |
| 01:05:06 |
# It lowers blood pressure |
| 01:05:11 |
# U.S.A. # |
| 01:05:14 |
# Watch where you're a-steppin' # |
| 01:05:16 |
# You better grab a weapon |
| 01:05:19 |
# Cat fight # |
| 01:05:23 |
# Time to fuckin' take her # |
| 01:05:25 |
# Punch her in the babymaker |
| 01:05:30 |
# Fight # |
| 01:05:35 |
# Cat # |
| 01:05:36 |
# Fight # |
| 01:05:37 |
# Cat fight # |
| 01:05:38 |
# Cat fight cat fight |
| 01:05:44 |
# Cat fight. # |
| 01:05:47 |
Who's the ho now, bitch? |
| 01:05:49 |
And the new Mrs. Satan by T.K.O. |
| 01:05:53 |
Suzi X! |
| 01:05:56 |
You gonna leave |
| 01:05:59 |
Fuck you all! |
| 01:06:03 |
Half! |
| 01:06:06 |
Null and void. |
| 01:06:11 |
Oh, Doctor, you |
| 01:06:14 |
I think you got a little something |
| 01:06:17 |
What the hell? |
| 01:06:19 |
- According to the handbook-- |
| 01:06:22 |
Really? Is that the best that you-- |
| 01:06:27 |
could come up with? |
| 01:06:29 |
the strike's over. |
| 01:06:32 |
All right, let's get this over with. |
| 01:06:35 |
You had that book and |
| 01:06:37 |
You idiot! |
| 01:06:41 |
Give me that! |
| 01:06:42 |
"Dr. Satan will shrink |
| 01:06:44 |
if he squashes his unholy bride |
| 01:06:47 |
- under a crescent moon... |
| 01:06:49 |
...as an albino Barry Manilow lookalike |
| 01:06:52 |
under a shower of rainbow sparkles |
| 01:06:54 |
while a disgustingly cute kitten |
| 01:06:57 |
Great. Now here are we gonna |
| 01:06:59 |
Hey, buddy, I don't want to be rude, |
| 01:07:02 |
but I was, like, staring at your crotch, |
| 01:07:04 |
and it seems like |
| 01:07:07 |
Hey-oh! |
| 01:07:09 |
Come on, get me |
| 01:07:17 |
I stand corrected. |
| 01:07:21 |
Ow ow ow ow ow ow! |
| 01:07:22 |
I got you, Suzi! |
| 01:07:25 |
Thanks, my big, metal |
| 01:07:27 |
That's me, Murray. |
| 01:07:31 |
So I'm a little smaller. So what? |
| 01:07:32 |
I know how this |
| 01:07:35 |
I've got the homecoming queen |
| 01:07:36 |
and now it's time to put |
| 01:07:41 |
Medic. |
| 01:07:44 |
Are we done now? |
| 01:07:45 |
Yeah, I think so. |
| 01:07:52 |
Oh, my blueberries! |
| 01:07:54 |
And now a little smashing |
| 01:08:05 |
Eat this, love muffin. |
| 01:08:08 |
Sir, might I suggest a bit |
| 01:08:13 |
Oh! |
| 01:08:15 |
Yeah! |
| 01:08:25 |
What the hell you |
| 01:08:27 |
Eh, nada, mein homey. |
| 01:08:30 |
Hey, that's Spanish! |
| 01:08:35 |
Okay, I think what we |
| 01:08:38 |
Run! |
| 01:08:39 |
Come on, Wilhelm, ride |
| 01:08:50 |
Oi-- |
| 01:08:52 |
Nothing a little ointment |
| 01:08:57 |
Huh? |
| 01:09:02 |
Oh, sweet heaven. |
| 01:09:09 |
Well, I did it again. |
| 01:09:12 |
Saving the world is like |
| 01:09:15 |
Oh, I know where this is going. |
| 01:09:16 |
You really never forget |
| 01:09:18 |
Come on, Murray, |
| 01:09:20 |
Some say it's my |
| 01:09:23 |
Did you see how I-- |
| 01:09:25 |
Oh, well. |
| 01:09:27 |
Ladies, anyone up for some |
| 01:09:29 |
hot wings? |
| 01:09:33 |
Welcome back to |
| 01:09:36 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:09:38 |
oh, he's a big favorite |
| 01:09:40 |
She just loves to see two men |
| 01:09:44 |
She also loves it when it's |
| 01:09:46 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:09:49 |
Hello! Good to see you! |
| 01:09:53 |
It's so great to have you here. |
| 01:09:56 |
Well, look, I don't want |
| 01:09:59 |
that I saved the planet again. |
| 01:10:01 |
I mean, it's just what I do. |
| 01:10:04 |
But you do have a new rock 'n' roll |
| 01:10:08 |
Aw, where did you get that? |
| 01:10:10 |
Well, your publicist sent it over. |
| 01:10:13 |
It's just a little project |
| 01:10:15 |
with a certain group known as-- |
| 01:10:18 |
Loverboy! |
| 01:10:35 |
# Everyone's watchin' # |
| 01:10:38 |
# To see what you will do # |
| 01:10:42 |
- # Everyone's... # |
| 01:10:45 |
Cool your jets, Mr. Roboto. |
| 01:10:47 |
I've seen it all before. |
| 01:10:50 |
I heard somebody's been |
| 01:10:53 |
and needs some serious discipline. |
| 01:10:55 |
Oh my God! |
| 01:11:00 |
I see someone's |
| 01:11:03 |
Functions not functioning! |
| 01:11:05 |
Now, let's try out those |
| 01:11:10 |
Yes, Mistress Suzi, |
| 01:11:16 |
Fasten your seatbelt, Murray. |
| 01:11:18 |
It's gonna be a bumpy night! |
| 01:11:20 |
- Yeah, baby! Whoo! |
| 01:11:25 |
- Oh, man! |
| 01:11:27 |
- Never stop! Never never! |
| 01:11:29 |
# Everyone's lookin' # |
| 01:11:31 |
# To see if it was you # |
| 01:11:36 |
# Everyone wants... # |
| 01:11:37 |
Oh, God, give me strength. |
| 01:11:39 |
Why do you subject me |
| 01:11:43 |
night after night? |
| 01:11:45 |
At least put on BBC 1. |
| 01:11:47 |
There's a riveting history |
| 01:11:50 |
Quick talking like a book, monkey. |
| 01:12:00 |
Put your filthy paws on me, |
| 01:12:03 |
Aagh! What the fuck? |
| 01:12:05 |
Don't break a bitch! |
| 01:12:07 |
# Come on, baby, let's go! # |
| 01:12:16 |
Hey, it's you again. |
| 01:12:18 |
We gotta stop |
| 01:12:20 |
Did you like the movie? |
| 01:12:24 |
I could have done without |
| 01:12:28 |
Instead of a punchline, |
| 01:12:34 |
Not that I'm complaining. |
| 01:12:36 |
I haven't seen a set |
| 01:12:39 |
since Ava Gardner. |
| 01:12:43 |
Okey-dokey, smokey, |
| 01:12:45 |
You really should go now. |
| 01:12:49 |
No no no. |
| 01:12:54 |
Okay. All right, |
| 01:13:00 |
Howdy, folks! |
| 01:13:02 |
and it's my great pleasure to |
| 01:13:06 |
Straight from their two-night stand |
| 01:13:09 |
Exit 7 off Route 91 in Ruggsville-- |
| 01:13:11 |
all-you-can-eat fish popper Mondays-- |
| 01:13:14 |
here they are, the one and only |
| 01:13:17 |
Banjo and Sullivan! |
| 01:13:21 |
# Liquored up in Jackson |
| 01:13:24 |
# Bucket full of wild oats |
| 01:13:28 |
# Promoter said he knew |
| 01:13:31 |
# Hundreds of women |
| 01:13:35 |
Oh, fuck me! Just get |
| 01:13:38 |
# 1,000 pickup trucks |
| 01:13:42 |
# Looked at my roadie, |
| 01:13:46 |
# Splashed on Hai Karate # |
| 01:13:48 |
# Ready to run my race # |
| 01:13:50 |
# Took a look around, there wasn't |
| 01:13:54 |
# Dick soup # |
| 01:13:56 |
# Cock salad # |
| 01:13:57 |
# Can't sing a ballad # |
| 01:13:59 |
# Don't give a hoot # |
| 01:14:01 |
# Dick soup # |
| 01:14:11 |
# Dick soup-- # |
| 01:14:15 |
All right, Pops, I think it's about time |
| 01:14:19 |
Say goodnight, Gracie. |
| 01:14:24 |
Come on, Mama, let's boogie. |
| 01:14:27 |
Oh dear, that's going to leave a mark. |
| 01:17:02 |
Make room for Daddy! |
| 01:17:03 |
Cow-a-yah! |
| 01:17:06 |
Oh, hello, Officer. |
| 01:17:09 |
Nice tools. |
| 01:17:10 |
- Hah. |
| 01:17:12 |
Take a look at this guy. |
| 01:17:14 |
Those chaps should be illegal. |
| 01:17:16 |
Hey, ain't this great, |
| 01:17:18 |
a bunch of guys can get together |
| 01:17:21 |
Oh! Hey, easy, pal. |
| 01:17:27 |
Bitch. |
