Heartbreak Kid

en
00:01:00 So, what's new, Eddie?
00:01:03 Yeah, we just got those new Nike
00:01:06 so that's been kind of cool.
00:01:08 Let me rephrase the question.
00:01:12 No, Dad,
00:01:15 Seriously, who you booming?
00:01:16 Dad, seriously,
00:01:18 I'm just kind of dating a little right now.
00:01:20 I don't get you.
00:01:22 yet you don't really enjoy the fruits
00:01:26 It's like you're living
00:01:29 Dad, I don't refuse to get married.
00:01:31 It's just I wanna do it
00:01:33 I'm sorry to ride you, pal.
00:01:35 I hate you to be alone
00:01:38 I won't be. I'm going to a wedding.
00:01:40 Oh. Now you're talking.
00:01:41 Weddings are a great place
00:01:44 Who's getting married?
00:01:45 Jodi.
00:01:48 Jodi?
00:01:49 What are you...
00:01:51 What?
00:01:52 - Are you serious?
00:01:54 - Eddie, don't do this to yourself.
00:01:58 I'm just saying, watching
00:02:01 on Valentine's Day might sting a little.
00:02:04 No. We're way past that.
00:02:06 Really. I mean, if anything,
00:02:09 Give me a little closure.
00:02:10 I think it's flat-out wrong,
00:02:14 Come on, skip the wedding.
00:02:16 Maybe we'll get lucky and tag-team
00:02:19 Yeah, I have to say the idea
00:02:21 with my 77-year-old father
00:02:24 but I already RSVP'd, so...
00:02:27 Come on, come on.
00:02:35 Hey, can I get a beer, please?
00:02:37 - And I will get a Cosmopolitan.
00:02:40 Cosmopolitan?
00:02:44 Oh yeah. Yeah.
00:02:46 And I pretty much drink
00:02:49 Oh. Really?
00:02:51 Yeah. Happy wife, happy life.
00:02:56 That's a good one.
00:02:58 - Rhymes. Must be true.
00:03:02 Wow. Look at Jodi.
00:03:05 Yeah, she looks really good.
00:03:07 And she's got the kind of looks
00:03:09 Look at her mom.
00:03:10 Oh, what a cougar.
00:03:14 Some good genes there.
00:03:16 Hey. Come on.
00:03:18 Look, you had five years to pull
00:03:22 And if I recall, you had plenty
00:03:24 Yeah. I know. I'm just trying
00:03:27 God, there was a million of them.
00:03:30 "She doesn't like my fantasy football
00:03:34 "She doesn't try anything new."
00:03:36 Man, what are you...
00:03:38 That's you. That's exactly you.
00:03:41 I don't sound like an Italian mouse.
00:03:43 Little bit.
00:03:44 I do not-a talk-a like this.
00:03:46 Oh, yeah? Okay, remember this one?
00:03:49 Yeah, and you know why
00:03:52 'Cause she said that
00:03:54 Come on, that would bother you.
00:03:56 Oh, totally. Totally.
00:03:57 Throw away a chance at happiness
00:04:00 Come on, man.
00:04:02 You're 40 years old.
00:04:03 Eddie, at some point you're just gonna
00:04:06 I did it. I'm the happiest guy I know.
00:04:09 - Hey, Eddie.
00:04:11 - How are you?
00:04:13 Good, good. Are you sad?
00:04:15 No.
00:04:16 Oh, good. Good.
00:04:18 Mac, come on, honey, we gotta go.
00:04:20 - Lead the way, gorgeous.
00:04:22 - No, that's his.
00:04:27 What table you at, Eddie?
00:04:29 I am at table 34.
00:04:32 - Oh, too bad. We're at 11.
00:04:35 - Okay. See you later.
00:04:36 - Save me a dance.
00:04:38 - Don't forget.
00:04:39 - Mac, come on.
00:04:51 Cheers!
00:04:55 And that was that!
00:05:08 - Excuse me.
00:05:09 Hey, are you running this whole thing?
00:05:12 Oh, sure.
00:05:14 Walk up to the first homo you see
00:05:16 and assume he's
00:05:18 - No, no. I didn't mean that.
00:05:21 Did I hear someone
00:05:23 That would be moi.
00:05:25 So, how can I help you?
00:05:26 So, how can I help you?
00:05:33 I think there's been a mistake, 'cause
00:05:37 Oh, oh. That's not the kids' table.
00:05:49 Wife couldn't make it, huh?
00:05:51 No wife.
00:05:53 Oh. Divorced?
00:05:57 No.
00:05:58 Girlfriend?
00:06:01 Kind of in-between right now.
00:06:03 Sort of playing the field and
00:06:06 Hey, mister.
00:06:08 - What?
00:06:11 - No.
00:06:13 Hold on, hold on. Are you bi?
00:06:16 No. No, I'm not bi.
00:06:18 See? It's a tie. We both lose.
00:06:20 Are you like a widow or something?
00:06:23 Yeah. I'm a widow. That's... Yeah.
00:06:25 - Sorry.
00:06:28 No. I'm not gay.
00:06:30 - Let's play five-in-five, then.
00:06:33 It's where I ask you five questions
00:06:35 If you're telling the truth,
00:06:38 Yeah. I don't wanna play your game.
00:06:40 - Quick. How'd your wife die?
00:06:41 - How?
00:06:43 - They get the guy?
00:06:44 - What was his name?
00:06:45 Brad Pitt, Russell Crowe. Who's hotter?
00:06:47 Brad Pitt.
00:06:48 - What? I thought you...
00:06:50 No, I thought you meant
00:06:53 You're totally busted.
00:06:54 - Gay.
00:06:55 You're gay.
00:06:57 And I just want you all to know that
00:07:00 Jodi is the only woman I've ever loved.
00:07:04 And I wanna thank her for letting me
00:07:12 And that's not to say I didn't have to
00:07:18 Cantrow! Did you hear that?
00:07:20 But seriously, Michael has been
00:07:26 And quite frankly, he's the only guy
00:07:32 And that's because he's
00:07:35 who wasn't a total asshole.
00:07:40 All right, all right, okay.
00:07:43 We're gonna have some fun
00:08:37 Stop him, he's got my purse!
00:08:40 Hey, stop! Hey, stop! Stop!
00:08:42 Fuck off, man!
00:08:44 Calm down, buddy, give me the purse.
00:08:46 Back off, man! I swear to God,
00:08:50 - Give me the...
00:08:52 No, man, that's mine. It's mine!
00:08:57 It's mine!
00:09:03 Shit.
00:09:04 Shit!
00:09:05 Oh, God, are you okay?
00:09:07 No, it stings. He Maced me.
00:09:09 It's just my perfume.
00:09:11 Shit, I can't believe this!
00:09:13 I've got everything in there.
00:09:16 Everything is in that bag.
00:09:19 my life.
00:09:22 Yeah, that guy, he's like a freak.
00:09:24 I mean, I just... I tried to stop him, but...
00:09:27 Sorry. I almost had him.
00:09:28 No, no, it's not your fault.
00:09:32 I should have, like, punched him
00:09:39 Thank you.
00:09:51 - Here. Let me help you with this stuff.
00:09:58 Oh. I'm sorry. I don't wanna...
00:10:00 I don't know what the protocol there is.
00:10:03 It's okay. I got it. No problem.
00:10:05 Okay. Nice undergarment there.
00:10:08 So, you live around here?
00:10:09 Yes, I do. Yeah, I do.
00:10:13 - Over by Bay City Sports?
00:10:17 Yeah, a big sports... Sort of sporting
00:10:21 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I know that.
00:10:24 - Oh, cool.
00:10:26 - That's great. Oh, this is me.
00:10:30 I don't have any money.
00:10:32 Wait a minute. Here. I got it.
00:10:33 Oh, no. I wasn't saying it to...
00:10:36 No. Here. Please. Please.
00:10:38 Go ahead. Take it. I got like hundreds
00:10:41 - I can't take it, then.
00:10:45 I mean, I'm not rich, I'm comfortable.
00:10:48 - Got it.
00:10:51 - Take it easy.
00:10:53 All right.
00:10:54 Hey, what's your name?
00:10:57 Lila!
00:10:58 Lila, I'm Eddie! Eddie... Eddie Cantrow!
00:11:02 Okay!
00:11:05 Shit.
00:11:16 Oh, yeah. This is your girl, Eddie.
00:11:18 I've always said you can tell a lot
00:11:21 When have you ever said that?
00:11:23 I've said it like a mantra.
00:11:26 So, did you get her digits?
00:11:27 No, I didn't get her digits.
00:11:29 The girl had just gotten mugged.
00:11:31 Wait a second. She's hot, friendly,
00:11:36 She has David Bowie, your all-time
00:11:40 And you don't think to ask her out?
00:11:41 It was... A lot was going on.
00:11:43 I mean, I had just gotten sprayed
00:11:46 I was disoriented. I was...
00:11:48 And it never occurred to you
00:11:51 waving her underwear
00:11:54 No! I mean, look,
00:11:57 There's no way in hell she's single.
00:11:59 I'm sure she's got, like, a dot-com
00:12:02 A billionaire
00:12:04 at a laundromat on Valentine's Day.
00:12:06 Come on, Eddie! She was available.
00:12:11 Oh, that's my wife.
00:12:13 Okay.
00:12:16 Hey, honey.
00:12:17 Yeah.
00:12:19 Okay, sure, you got it. Right away.
00:12:22 All right, guys. I'm on husband duty.
00:12:25 Aunt Flo just arrived at our house.
00:12:27 Who's Aunt Flo?
00:12:28 Tammy just got her period,
00:12:31 Is there anything that she asks you to
00:12:34 No. Why? I wanna make her happy.
00:12:40 Sorry you let that girl go, Eddie.
00:12:42 - Thank you, makes me feel better.
00:12:44 He speaketh the truth.
00:12:45 All you had to do was ask her out
00:12:49 Oh, pie. Yeah, pie really would've
00:12:52 I'm just saying, when you
00:12:55 you don't let them get away.
00:12:56 I'm late for a root canal. Be good.
00:13:04 All right, Ralphie, let's go.
00:13:07 Shit. Eddie, what am I doing wrong?
00:13:09 All right. First of all, don't ever swing
00:13:12 - But the ball was right down the middle.
00:13:15 Hey, pussydick, can you break away
00:13:17 You know what?
00:13:18 Listen, everybody wants
00:13:20 But the fact is,
00:13:22 - It is?
00:13:23 That's the worst piece of advice
00:13:25 - Swing at the next one, slugger.
00:13:27 You want me to swing or wait?
00:13:29 Listen to me, I'm older than him. Swing!
00:13:31 - Wait.
00:13:32 No, Dad, now you're screwing him up.
00:13:37 Oh, my God.
00:13:38 - Dad, that's her.
00:13:40 That's the girl I was telling you
00:13:43 - Go. Go, go, go.
00:13:47 But it's nice to put a face to the panties.
00:13:50 Where did you get those?
00:13:51 Will you calm down? They're not for me.
00:13:56 What?
00:13:58 - No, Dad. Dad.
00:14:01 - Hi.
00:14:05 I was in the neighborhood
00:14:08 What do you think?
00:14:10 Excellent taste.
00:14:12 That's my dad.
00:14:13 Hi, Dad.
00:14:16 Nice to meet you, Lila.
00:14:19 How do you know my name?
00:14:21 Okay, cat's out of the bag.
00:14:23 My son found your panties
00:14:25 and we've been talking
00:14:28 Eddie, give her back
00:14:33 Here you go.
00:14:36 hoping you'd come in and claim them.
00:14:41 - Okay.
00:14:43 - Thank you.
00:14:45 Okay. My work here is done.
00:14:49 Let me go.
00:14:51 He's so cute.
00:14:52 Yeah, he is. He's a cutie.
00:14:56 - So, what do you think?
00:14:58 You looking to just go hiking,
00:15:02 Little bit of both, probably.
00:15:04 Okay, well, they're both
00:15:07 'cause it wicks away the sweat
00:15:08 allows it to evaporate quickly.
00:15:10 But if I was gonna go with one,
00:15:12 'cause it's 100% recycled material.
00:15:14 Hey, you a pie fan?
00:15:20 A fan of pie? Do you like pie? The...
00:15:23 Oh, pie. Like apple pie, and...
00:15:29 Get out of town.
00:15:30 So you're an environmental researcher.
00:15:34 Why do you sound so surprised?
00:15:36 No, it's just, I mean, you know,
00:15:39 the prototypical scientist type.
00:15:42 Well, it's not really that scientific.
00:15:45 - It's just researching.
00:15:48 Well, it is.
00:15:51 Well, I'm sure you make it sound
00:15:53 For us knuckleheads who, you know,
00:15:56 No, you're not a knucklehead.
00:16:00 Eddie...
00:16:02 Can I be honest with you?
00:16:04 Yeah, sure.
00:16:07 I didn't really need that fleece
00:16:12 I came in the store today to see you.
00:16:15 Really?
00:16:18 - Yeah.
00:16:21 I mean, if you wanna return the fleece,
00:16:23 Oh, no, Eddie, I don't.
00:16:25 Okay, but just know
00:16:27 - No, I love it.
00:16:29 Eddie, I think it's perfect for me.
00:17:42 You're not mad?
00:17:43 Of course I'm not mad.
00:17:45 I don't want you to do anything
00:17:48 I know it's silly. I mean,
00:17:51 Lila, you don't owe me
00:17:54 I know, but I just want you
00:17:57 I just...
00:17:59 I've seen how sleeping together
00:18:02 and I don't wanna risk what we have.
00:18:06 'Cause what we have
00:18:09 Last time I checked,
00:18:12 Cool.
00:18:21 - All right.
00:18:23 - Good night.
00:18:25 Sleep well.
00:18:27 I will.
00:18:36 Eddie, phone call, Line 3. It's Lila.
00:18:41 Hey, baby, how you doing?
00:18:45 What's wrong?
00:18:47 How long do they want you
00:18:50 I don't know,
00:18:52 - I mean, at least two years.
00:18:55 Maybe more.
00:19:01 Two years?
00:19:04 Why Germany?
00:19:06 Holland.
00:19:09 Can't you just tell them,
00:19:12 "I wanna be a researcher, but I'm not,
00:19:14 Eddie, this is my career.
00:19:17 I understand that,
00:19:20 Isn't there somebody else
00:19:21 No, it's either me or this other
00:19:24 So what?
00:19:25 So, they don't move married people.
00:19:33 So what are the negatives?
00:19:36 Well, for one thing,
00:19:38 That's half a summer, Eddie.
00:19:40 I proposed to your mother
00:19:42 She gave me 18
00:19:45 You were engaged to Jodi for five years.
00:19:48 All right, yeah,
00:19:49 Such as?
00:19:52 She doesn't have
00:19:53 Are you out of your mind?
00:19:55 Funny's a male gene, you idiot.
00:19:57 Haven't you ever noticed,
00:20:00 she's a little mannish?
00:20:01 Think about it. Lily Tomlin,
00:20:06 Oh, I got a thing
00:20:08 I do. I have to admit it.
00:20:10 I think she's great. I think she's hot.
00:20:13 Check it out.
00:20:14 All right, you know what?
00:20:17 She's an incredible girl.
00:20:19 Still, just the idea of marriage.
00:20:23 It's like...
00:20:25 It's like at the end of the day,
00:20:26 I'm choosing between Lila
00:20:29 You've barely nailed
00:20:32 You haven't crushed more than three
00:20:35 Dad, what is this obsession
00:20:39 I really, I just...
00:20:41 Sorry. Snatch. Whatever.
00:20:45 - Who do you think you are?
00:20:48 Just who the hell
00:20:51 Sitting here, trying to come up
00:20:55 You should be thanking God
00:20:56 that a woman this fantastic
00:21:00 Now, unless you wanna be
00:21:02 at the Little League game,
00:21:03 I suggest you get on with your life,
00:21:07 Life, Eddie. Goes like that.
00:21:17 I now pronounce you man and wife.
00:21:40 Congratulations, buddy.
00:21:43 Can you believe it? I did it!
00:21:45 I finally took the plunge.
00:21:49 I told you it would.
00:21:51 Thank you. Thank you for talking
00:21:53 I mean, look at this! Look at this.
00:21:57 I got the next three weeks off.
00:21:58 - We're road-tripping it down to Cabo.
00:22:00 That's it.
00:22:01 - You're in the club.
00:22:04 Hey, when you get down to the hotel,
00:22:07 And give him this as a thank you.
00:22:10 Okay, look, remind me again,
00:22:12 He's a friend of mine.
00:22:13 You know. I always take care of him.
00:22:15 He gives me a big discount
00:22:17 He knows you're coming.
00:22:18 That's awesome, man. Thank you.
00:22:20 Honey! My mom finally arrived!
00:22:23 Oh, great! Where is she?
00:22:25 There's my tiger!
00:22:30 Give me a hug.
00:22:34 I am so sorry I missed the ceremony.
00:22:38 Look at her, so beautiful.
00:22:41 That's the same dress
00:22:46 Same designer?
00:22:47 No, it's the very same dress.
00:23:08 Spread out now, Rosie doctor
00:23:10 Come cut loose her mama's reins
00:23:14 You know playin' blind man's bluff
00:23:17 is a little baby's game
00:23:20 You pick up Little Dynamite
00:23:23 I'm gonna pick up Little Gun
00:23:26 And together we're gonna go out tonight
00:23:29 And make that highway run
00:23:33 You got a pretty good voice there.
00:23:35 Why, thank you, soul mate.
00:23:37 I'm glad you like it,
00:23:38 'cause you're gonna be hearing
00:23:43 Forty or fifty years.
00:23:45 Hey, you know what I was thinking
00:23:47 We should go out sport fishing.
00:23:49 I've always wanted to catch a marlin,
00:23:51 - No, baby, I can't do that.
00:23:55 Because I can't do boats.
00:23:59 - I'm sorry.
00:24:01 That's okay. There's a lot of other
00:24:04 Yeah.
00:24:05 I definitely wanna get out of the hotel
00:24:07 Maybe get a burro, you know?
00:24:09 A Mexican burro? Donkey?
00:24:11 Go up into the mountains?
00:24:14 - Really?
00:24:16 I kind of thought it would be nice
00:24:22 I mean, remember, honey,
00:24:24 It can be really dangerous.
00:24:26 Yeah. Well, I mean, you know.
00:24:30 Yeah, exactly.
00:24:33 Come on, shake your body, baby
00:24:35 I know you can't control yourself
00:24:37 Come on, shake your body, baby
00:24:39 I know you can't control yourself
00:24:45 Fab Five Freddy told me everybody's fly
00:24:48 The DJ's spinning
00:24:50 Flash is fast, Flash is cool
00:24:54 And you don't stop
00:25:00 And I'm ready to take a chance again
00:25:06 Ready to put my love
00:25:13 I'll tell you what I want
00:25:15 So, tell me what you want
00:25:18 I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna
00:25:20 I wanna really, really, really
00:25:23 Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
00:25:26 Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
00:25:31 Hey, baby? Honey?
00:25:32 Why don't we turn off the radio
00:25:36 Sort of vibe out on the wind
00:25:39 and chill out a little?
00:25:42 I've got a better idea.
00:25:45 - Why don't we go find a room and fuck?
00:25:52 - You like that, Eddie?
00:25:54 - Yeah, you like that, don't you?
00:25:57 Tell me how much you like it.
00:26:00 - I like it.
00:26:03 I like it a lot!
00:26:05 - Do you like that?
00:26:09 How about that?
00:26:10 Ow! No, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. No, no.
00:26:14 Now I know what to do
00:26:18 Do you think maybe we can switch up
00:26:22 'Cause I'm starting to get cramped here.
00:26:24 - Yeah.
00:26:25 You wanna do the Inverted Corkscrew?
00:26:28 Remind me, again, what's that?
00:26:30 It's just like the Swedish Helicopter,
00:26:34 Okay. You know what?
00:26:38 No, never mind.
00:26:41 Okay, I... What's a...
00:26:43 Jackhammer me, Eddie!
00:26:45 - What is a...
00:26:47 Hey, hey, I got an idea. You know what?
00:26:50 Why don't we just, you know,
00:26:53 for a little bit?
00:26:55 What's that?
00:26:57 Missionary position. You know.
00:26:59 It's like, you know,
00:27:02 just a regular guy on top of a girl?
00:27:05 - Okay.
00:27:07 Can you Pile Drive me
00:27:15 That was so beautiful.
00:27:33 Could you not make those little circles?
00:27:37 Just... My skin's kind of
00:27:42 Well, what if I made little squares?
00:27:48 I don't think any shapes...
00:27:50 I don't wanna do any shapes
00:27:56 Is my Eddie Bear gonna be grouchy
00:28:01 I'm not being grouchy. Honey.
00:28:05 Where you going?
00:28:07 Pee-pee.
00:28:19 That wasn't what you think it was!
00:28:24 What? I didn't hear anything.
00:28:26 Oh, good.
00:28:28 'Cause I just queefed, big-time.
00:28:35 Okay.
00:28:45 Mr. Cantrow's awfully quiet
00:28:49 Nah, I'm always quiet
00:28:52 I take a little while to get up to steam.
00:28:58 Will you hold my hand while we eat?
00:29:04 Hold your hand? Of course, of course.
00:29:19 Baby. Baby, look.
00:29:22 They're so cute. That's us in 10 years.
00:29:25 Ten? I don't know about that.
00:29:29 I hope it's more than 10 years.
00:29:32 You're probably right.
00:29:35 You're probably right.
00:29:37 - Eddie, can I ask you something?
00:29:42 Last night,
00:29:45 you didn't think I was too hairy
00:29:50 I know a lot of women shave completely,
00:29:53 You know, it makes me feel
00:29:55 But if you want, I could trim it.
00:29:57 And that way you'd be able
00:30:01 I don't think so. I mean, I think...
00:30:06 - Was good visibility on it.
00:30:19 You okay?
00:30:20 - Oh, God.
00:30:22 There's the apple juice out the nose.
00:30:24 It's just this stupid deviated septum that
00:30:29 You've got a deviated septum?
00:30:31 There was a kid at my camp
00:30:34 - Oh, really?
00:30:36 - Well, I don't snore.
00:30:37 But I do have a lot of fluids coming
00:30:42 We just have to keep you
00:30:44 Baby, look at them. They are so cute.
00:30:52 They are adorable.
00:30:54 Chicken in the bread pan
00:30:57 "Granny, does your dog bite?"
00:31:45 This is amazing!
00:31:50 Baby, look at this!
00:31:53 Not too shabby.
00:31:57 Eddie?
00:31:58 Yeah?
00:32:01 I need to say something.
00:32:05 I've never been married before,
00:32:08 and I've been wanting everything
00:32:11 I think I've been acting a little off.
00:32:16 - Oh... No!
00:32:18 Really, I have.
00:32:19 I've been trying so hard to act like
00:32:23 that I think I've gone too far
00:32:28 Well, maybe a little.
00:32:29 I mean, but you know what?
00:32:32 I mean, here we are.
00:32:35 I've never been married before.
00:32:38 I'm glad you said something.
00:32:39 Good. Well, what do you say
00:32:43 I like that. Yeah. Let's just... Reset.
00:32:46 Press the TiVo button.
00:32:51 - Look at this!
00:32:52 El Mariachi! I love it.
00:33:01 Here you go.
00:33:03 Por favor, stay close this week with us.
00:33:08 Oh, my God.
00:33:11 Eddie Bear, you go check us in.
00:33:14 Okay.
00:33:15 Do me a favor, play for her. Go.
00:33:23 Hey look, it's that fruit from the wedding.
00:33:27 Hey. What are you guys doing here?
00:33:29 I don't know.
00:33:31 You look disappointed to see us.
00:33:33 What? Did you think
00:33:35 For your information,
00:33:39 That's who I'm gonna
00:33:41 I'll give you this. It's impressive.
00:33:43 - Yeah.
00:33:45 Does he tuck his balls under
00:33:48 You know what? Why don't you take
00:33:50 and hit the road?
00:33:52 You homophobic hobbits.
00:33:54 Punks.
00:33:57 Do you think you could tell me
00:34:00 Yes. May I ask who is inquiring?
00:34:02 Yeah, my name's Eddie Cantrow,
00:34:05 I'm supposed to give him something.
00:34:07 I'm sorry to tell you this,
00:34:09 He's actually in jail
00:34:13 He was caught running cock fights,
00:34:14 and I'm not speaking about
00:34:19 Really?
00:34:20 Screw off! I'm joking, man!
00:34:23 Come on! I am Uncle Tito!
00:34:26 Pleasure to meet you.
00:34:27 You're Uncle Tito! Okay.
00:34:28 You should have seen
00:34:31 Did you bring the present from Mac?
00:34:32 Yes, I did. Yes.
00:34:36 It's funny, I... Uncle Tito. I was thinking
00:34:40 - Yes.
00:34:42 - You like the hair?
00:34:51 Pardon me.
00:34:59 Here is the adult sex tape you ordered,
00:35:05 I will bill it to your room.
00:35:07 Would you like me
00:35:11 No. Thank you.
00:35:13 Perfecto!
00:35:19 Baby, you've gotta try this Mind Eraser.
00:35:21 The guy put in, like,
00:35:24 You are even more sexier
00:35:26 Thank you.
00:35:28 I was not talking to you,
00:35:30 Screw off! I'm joking, man!
00:35:35 By the way, please put your jewelry
00:35:38 I cannot tell you how many
00:35:40 and they lose their rings on the beach.
00:35:41 - It's very sad.
00:35:44 Also, Mac's a pal, so I want you to know
00:35:48 I got you the honeymoon suite.
00:35:50 Hey, all right, thank you!
00:35:52 This is amazing!
00:35:55 How beautiful is this?
00:35:57 Man. Look at that view.
00:36:02 Eddie, think fast!
00:36:04 Honey, come on! Babe!
00:36:06 You could take out an eye
00:36:08 Oh, hush, I didn't come close.
00:36:11 Man, look at this place.
00:36:13 Jeez. Wonder how much
00:36:15 Oh, honey, stop worrying about money.
00:36:19 We're gonna remember this
00:36:23 You're right.
00:36:26 I gotta remember
00:36:28 Really? You have a second job?
00:36:31 No, I mean my salary, your salary.
00:36:34 - My salary?
00:36:36 You wanna keep our finances
00:36:39 Honey, I'm a volunteer.
00:36:41 Oh, yeah?
00:36:45 A volunteer is a volunteer.
00:36:47 I help raise money for my
00:36:55 So they force volunteers
00:36:59 Unmarried volunteers?
00:37:01 They don't force them.
00:37:03 But if you wanna get in good with
00:37:06 You told me
00:37:11 Yeah, I am.
00:37:13 Unless you don't count wading in
00:37:16 for three months, measuring PCBs
00:37:20 which I won't even tell you what
00:37:22 They had to pee on me.
00:37:25 You get stung by a jellyfish, that makes
00:37:28 You know what, Eddie? I love my job
00:37:31 Job? No, no, no. I don't think
00:37:34 Job? No, no, no. I don't think
00:37:34 Oh, really?
00:37:36 A hobby?
00:37:38 - A hobby?
00:37:40 - Says who?
00:37:42 Well, who reads the dictionary?
00:37:45 Yeah, apparently not! A "job" is a word.
00:37:48 You married me for my money.
00:37:50 What? No, wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:37:53 What's next? You're gonna steal
00:37:57 Your last boyfriend stole your purse?
00:37:58 Duh! You were there!
00:38:02 That was your boyfriend?
00:38:06 That was my ex-boyfriend.
00:38:07 The crazy guy on the bike
00:38:09 - Yes.
00:38:11 Why would I?
00:38:14 So... And why was he
00:38:17 Because he owed me money,
00:38:20 And I'm not about to leave it
00:38:22 because then he'd break in
00:38:23 So I kept it in my purse,
00:38:26 And let me tell you something else
00:38:29 One day, our kids are gonna
00:38:32 And I'm just trying to make sure
00:38:33 that there's some aqua life
00:38:35 - That's not a word.
00:38:37 "Inhabitate." Not a word.
00:38:39 Oh, really? Why don't you look it up
00:38:42 and why don't you look up "shitfuck"
00:38:46 I will look it up with "shitfuck"!
00:38:47 And guess what?
00:38:52 Fuck! Shit!
00:39:03 Lila?
00:39:25 Lila?
00:39:45 This is stupid.
00:39:46 Excuse me.
00:39:48 A little help?
00:39:50 Sorry, I dropped my camera.
00:39:58 Doesn't look broken.
00:40:00 No, don't throw it. I'll be right down.
00:40:03 Okay.
00:40:06 - Here you go.
00:40:08 I didn't mean to sneak up on you.
00:40:10 Oh, yeah. No problem.
00:40:13 Was that you this morning
00:40:17 Yeah.
00:40:18 That wasn't what it looked like.
00:40:20 Just looked like
00:40:22 No, no, I know, but I wasn't.
00:40:26 You don't have to explain to me.
00:40:29 I got a cousin who drives a truck with
00:40:33 Right. Okay, but I'm not that guy.
00:40:36 Miranda!
00:40:38 We're getting ready to play Parcheesi!
00:40:42 I'm coming, I'm coming.
00:40:45 - That's my cousin.
00:40:47 - We're down here for a family reunion.
00:40:49 Yeah. My aunt and uncle renew
00:40:54 It's a little hokey, but they're still in love
00:40:57 - So we go along with it.
00:40:59 Yeah. What about you? What's got you
00:41:02 Running low on your medication?
00:41:05 Was I mumbling?
00:41:06 - Yeah.
00:41:08 Miranda!
00:41:12 I'm coming!
00:41:15 All right, okay.
00:41:18 Happy mumbling.
00:41:27 Hey.
00:41:28 I am so sorry.
00:41:30 - No, no, no. Honey, I'm sorry.
00:41:32 No, no, no. I'm sorry.
00:41:33 Look, really. Look, first of all,
00:41:39 And I think it's great that you wanna
00:41:43 - Really?
00:41:44 Yeah, I'm just, you know...
00:41:47 - Eddie.
00:41:48 - But you were right, Eddie.
00:41:50 Yes. They should have been paying me
00:41:53 Whatever. Whatever.
00:41:55 No, but really, I mean...
00:41:57 How am I ever gonna get out of debt
00:42:00 - How are you gonna what?
00:42:03 You're in debt? What kind of debt?
00:42:06 You know, the kind where you owe
00:42:10 How much money?
00:42:11 Well, it's not so bad. I mean,
00:42:16 it's down to about 26 K.
00:42:20 You had a... You snorted...
00:42:22 You had a cocaine problem?
00:42:25 That's how I got
00:42:27 You said you had a deviated septum.
00:42:29 You know...
00:42:31 Snorting the cocaine.
00:42:32 Yeah, but that's how you get
00:42:34 I didn't... Okay.
00:42:36 That kid at camp, he didn't have
00:42:40 Well, how do you know?
00:42:42 Because he was eight
00:42:45 I mean, you know,
00:42:47 Tell me a little bit more
00:42:49 You know, it's a chapter of my life
00:42:53 Right, right.
00:42:55 But you know what?
00:42:57 If I had to do it all over again,
00:43:02 Because it made me who I am today.
00:43:04 And do you know
00:43:08 No. Who are you?
00:43:10 I'm Mrs. Edmund Cantrow.
00:43:13 Edward.
00:43:15 "Edward"? You didn't tell me that!
00:43:17 I... Yeah, Edward.
00:43:19 Well, Mr. Cantrow.
00:43:21 Are there any other dark, dirty secrets
00:43:30 Cock me. Cock me.
00:43:33 Yeah, you like that, don't you?
00:43:35 - You bet.
00:43:37 Tell me how much you like it.
00:43:39 I still like it a lot.
00:43:40 Yeah. Hit me.
00:43:43 What?
00:43:44 Hit me!
00:43:46 I don't wanna hit you.
00:43:48 Come on, Eddie. I've been a bad girl.
00:43:52 You've been fine.
00:43:55 What's the matter, Eddie,
00:43:57 - You a little girl?
00:43:59 - What, love? You got a little pussy?
00:44:02 - A pussy! Do you have a pussy?
00:44:06 Well, what are you, a faggot, Eddie?
00:44:07 - Are you a faggot?
00:44:09 Well, then, slap me! Slap me like this!
00:44:11 That's right!
00:44:14 What's the matter? I thought little girls
00:44:17 Don't you...
00:44:19 Yeah! Oh, I love it! Like it rough!
00:44:22 Yes! Yes, Eddie, yes! Cock me!
00:44:27 Cock me! Cock me, Eddie!
00:44:30 I think I am cocking you!
00:44:34 Fuck me like a black guy, Eddie!
00:44:42 No! You're not doing it!
00:45:06 Here, put some of this on my back.
00:45:11 - This is mineral oil.
00:45:14 No, you need sunblock down here.
00:45:16 No, you gotta use oil
00:45:21 Babe, I'm telling you,
00:45:23 You need like a 30 or a 35. I got some.
00:45:25 Are you becoming a control freak?
00:45:27 I mean, first the thing about having
00:45:32 Forget about it, Eddie. I'll just do it
00:45:36 I'm just saying
00:45:38 I'm just saying
00:45:39 The sun is the sun, Eddie.
00:46:15 Honey!
00:46:16 Oh, Grouchy Marx, calm down.
00:46:25 Hey, look. He really is with that babe.
00:46:27 Man, she is banging.
00:46:29 That means he was telling the truth
00:46:34 That's messed up.
00:46:43 Eddie, make them go away.
00:46:45 Thank you, no.
00:46:47 - Not now.
00:46:49 - We don't want any. Thank you, though.
00:46:53 Okay. Here you go. Here you go.
00:46:56 We're just gonna take a little snoozelito.
00:47:00 No, no, no, no. No.
00:47:02 You stop. Stop. No?
00:47:10 It's not my fault.
00:47:12 It's the stupid Mexican ozone!
00:47:15 No. The Mexican ozone
00:47:17 You just needed to wear
00:47:19 I was trying to get a tan.
00:47:21 No, you were trying to get "savage."
00:47:24 Whose side are you on, Eddie?
00:47:26 - What? What sides are there?
00:47:30 I'm on your side, all right?
00:47:32 Now look, I'm gonna put a little
00:47:35 Should make you feel better.
00:47:38 You fucking cunt!
00:47:41 Or not.
00:47:42 Hello?
00:47:43 Hey, Pop, it's me.
00:47:46 I'm in Vegas. Flew out for the weekend.
00:47:49 Here, I want you to say hi to somebody.
00:47:54 Hi, Eddie, this is Patty!
00:47:56 Yeah, I met your father playing keno.
00:48:00 Hey, I heard you got married.
00:48:03 Your father says she's amazing.
00:48:05 Not really. Can I talk to my dad?
00:48:07 All right.
00:48:08 What's up? You okay, kid?
00:48:10 No, I'm not okay.
00:48:13 I think Lila might be...
00:48:19 Kitty ring? So, let me get this straight.
00:48:22 You think your wife's a nutcase
00:48:25 in a tropical paradise,
00:48:28 wanting to have sex around the clock,
00:48:31 and, accidentally,
00:48:33 Well, yeah, but it's a lot worse
00:48:36 Now listen to me,
00:48:38 When your wife on her honeymoon
00:48:42 you cock her good, God damn it!
00:48:57 - Señor Eddie, are you finished?
00:49:00 Where is your lovely wife this evening?
00:49:02 She got a little too much sun,
00:49:06 Are you sure it was the sun
00:49:11 You.
00:49:13 - Tito!
00:49:14 All right, I want another round,
00:49:17 No problem.
00:49:18 Hey.
00:49:20 Hey! What are you doing
00:49:22 VCR break down?
00:49:24 I was starting to chafe. So...
00:49:27 Well, that's the way it goes.
00:49:29 - You're Miranda, right?
00:49:30 I'm Eddie.
00:49:32 - Nice to meet you, officially.
00:49:35 What's a Flytail?
00:49:37 I've got no idea,
00:49:40 so I thought I'd give it a whirl.
00:49:42 I like your thinking.
00:49:45 You know who figured out
00:49:47 The people who live in the spots
00:49:50 Oh, yeah. You mean
00:49:53 - Yeah.
00:49:55 You think they're really having
00:49:56 - Oh, hell yeah.
00:49:57 - Oh, of course.
00:49:59 I mean, I always feel like those people,
00:50:02 They're running from their boring lives.
00:50:04 You know, most people get two or three
00:50:07 These people, man,
00:50:10 Yeah. Where are you from?
00:50:12 - Oxford, Mississippi.
00:50:15 You don't have an accent.
00:50:16 - Excuse me?
00:50:18 Are you here on your honeymoon?
00:50:21 Actually, I am.
00:50:23 Are you having a good time?
00:50:28 We're having an incredible time.
00:50:33 What the hell are you doing down here?
00:50:38 She's...
00:50:40 Here are your Flytails.
00:50:43 Thank you!
00:50:44 Sweetheart, will you help me
00:50:45 Yeah, sure, Dream Weaver.
00:50:51 Take it easy.
00:50:54 Hey, next time you tell people
00:50:57 I'd appreciate
00:51:00 Yeah, well, actually...
00:51:02 Miranda! Where have you been?
00:51:04 Relax, everybody, I got more booze.
00:51:08 - This is my friend, Eddie.
00:51:10 Hey, how'd you manage
00:51:13 I put an ad in the paper.
00:51:15 Eddie, this is my family, starting with
00:51:19 Beryl and Boo.
00:51:21 - That's right.
00:51:23 Thank you.
00:51:24 I think that's a beautiful name, Boo.
00:51:27 I'm Boo.
00:51:29 Sorry.
00:51:30 - Yeah, it's short for Buford.
00:51:33 Okay.
00:51:39 Byoo! Why didn't we ever think of that?
00:51:41 It's been sitting there for 30 years
00:51:45 And then you walk up, and boom!
00:51:49 That is too funny.
00:51:53 These are my cousins, Buzz and Martin.
00:51:55 - Hello, Mr. Funny, I'm Buzz.
00:51:56 And their lovely wives,
00:51:59 I remember you, Eddie.
00:52:02 And the lovely man in the back is
00:52:06 Hi there.
00:52:09 Well, nice to meet all of you guys.
00:52:10 I'm gonna get running,
00:52:12 - Excuse me, señor.
00:52:14 You have a round of shots
00:52:18 Oh! Well!
00:52:20 Thank you.
00:52:23 Nope. Deborah and myself will not
00:52:25 Yeah, I think I'm gonna pass also.
00:52:30 Yeah, I don't think you're gonna
00:52:34 Thank you!
00:52:35 Well, might as well give them
00:52:39 Hey, here's to Beryl and Byoo.
00:52:42 He did it again!
00:52:45 You are too much.
00:52:47 All right, everybody. Are you ready?
00:52:54 This is awful! That's, like, awful!
00:52:56 It's like somebody
00:52:58 and just like, a guy with, like, a bongo.
00:53:01 And we gotta pay for it!
00:53:03 So, Martin, you're
00:53:05 - Yeah.
00:53:08 Boo actually coached the team
00:53:10 Never missed a game in 28 years.
00:53:12 Well, there were a few games
00:53:17 And Miranda coaches
00:53:19 That's right.
00:53:21 - I do.
00:53:22 - I am.
00:53:25 - So you're a whole family of coaches.
00:53:28 You know, there was a big article about
00:53:30 You could still probably find that online.
00:53:33 That's amazing.
00:53:35 I'm not a coach.
00:53:36 I have a couple Subway sandwich shops
00:53:39 And we're about to open up
00:53:42 We find if you keep the tuna fresh,
00:53:45 At Subway. Oh, I love Subway.
00:53:47 We're also gonna open
00:53:49 We're gonna take it to the next level.
00:53:50 But that's this, okay?
00:53:51 That's right. Don't let it leave this circle.
00:53:55 That's exciting. That's great.
00:53:56 We wanna keep it all,
00:53:59 good food, served in a hurry.
00:54:00 And with metal silverware this time.
00:54:03 - That's cool.
00:54:05 You a sports fan?
00:54:06 I am. Actually, I own a sporting goods
00:54:11 Yeah. I love sports.
00:54:13 In fact, I even lost my virginity
00:54:16 - You're too much. Really?
00:54:18 Couple of the older kids
00:54:23 It was not pretty.
00:54:28 Did you file charges?
00:54:31 No.
00:54:32 - He was making a joke, Gayla.
00:54:35 About anal rape?
00:54:43 You are a pistol.
00:54:48 My point is,
00:54:49 why do we always assume
00:54:51 that the aliens from the spaceships
00:54:55 Why couldn't they be cows
00:54:59 Right!
00:55:00 Do you understand what I'm saying?
00:55:02 So even if the cows are so evolved
00:55:04 to the point where they're smart enough
00:55:08 the people on the planet
00:55:11 that they still look down at the cows.
00:55:13 Perhaps.
00:55:14 They're saying, "Look at the dumb cows
00:55:18 Or "FO" to them,
00:55:21 - Yes, exactly.
00:55:24 Can I just say, about your family,
00:55:29 I love them. They're awesome.
00:55:31 - Thank you.
00:55:34 With one exception.
00:55:35 I get a weird vibe from... Marvin?
00:55:39 - Martin.
00:55:40 Yes, I feel like Martin is
00:55:43 maybe just a little bit of a big,
00:55:46 - Dude! That's my cousin!
00:55:50 - He's cool.
00:55:51 He's... Martin's just got a burr
00:55:57 'Cause there's this guy back home, Cal.
00:56:03 And up until about a month ago,
00:56:06 I guess it comes to a point where it's
00:56:09 Right, right.
00:56:10 And he or you did not want it
00:56:14 He's like one of those guys who likes
00:56:18 - So he didn't want...
00:56:20 What... So, you mean, like... Marriage?
00:56:25 - Can you believe that?
00:56:27 No, right?
00:56:28 What is his deal?
00:56:32 So, anyway, I told him that I thought
00:56:36 And now I'm realizing, with all the time
00:56:39 how different we really are.
00:56:42 So, what about you, kind sir?
00:56:45 Do you have a girlfriend back home?
00:56:49 Miranda!
00:56:52 - Where the hell have you been?
00:56:54 I've been stomping around
00:56:57 Everybody up there in the suite
00:57:00 So?
00:57:01 So, nobody's looking after Peepaw.
00:57:03 I just caught him urinating
00:57:05 Oh, shit!
00:57:07 You think that's funny, mister?
00:57:08 How about I have you go up there
00:57:10 - Martin.
00:57:11 Sorry.
00:57:12 We're gonna go deep-sea fishing
00:57:14 Now, hold up, all right? We can't just be
00:57:18 Gotta talk to the captain.
00:57:20 Point is moot.
00:57:23 Good night.
00:57:25 Good night.
00:57:26 I'll see you. Okay.
00:57:28 I smell something weird out here.
00:57:29 Smells like somebody's
00:57:50 Where have you been?
00:57:53 Hi! Hey!
00:57:56 Honey, I was downstairs.
00:57:59 Downstairs.
00:58:00 You left here seven hours ago, Eddie.
00:58:02 You said you were just going
00:58:04 I did! I did. I was right down at the bar.
00:58:06 I had the chimichangas
00:58:09 Chimichangas don't take that long.
00:58:11 No, no, they were quick. The chalupas
00:58:14 But, honey, what happened was
00:00:03 and this other group a shot, and then
00:00:05 What other group?
00:00:07 This other group. Just these rednecks
00:00:11 But cool rednecks, you know,
00:00:14 Eddie, that still doesn't explain
00:00:17 when the bar closed at 2:00.
00:00:18 Honey, you said you wanted to sleep,
00:00:21 so I ended up just sitting on the beach
00:00:26 You were on the beach all this time?
00:00:28 Yeah.
00:00:29 - Really?
00:00:32 - Eddie Bear.
00:00:34 I don't want you to be... Careful!
00:00:37 Okay.
00:00:38 I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean
00:00:42 I've been so miserable.
00:00:44 You know, I have this sunburn.
00:00:45 I have a pill stuck up my nose.
00:00:48 Wait, what?
00:00:50 Yeah. I tried to take a Tylenol
00:00:53 and these Mexican pills are so big
00:00:57 and then it got stuck
00:01:00 Wow. Did you try to get it out?
00:01:02 These crappy tweezers don't work.
00:01:06 Honey. I'm gonna take care
00:01:08 - Okay.
00:01:11 Your little unwanted visitor up there.
00:01:14 - Okay.
00:01:17 Hey, this is like that game Operation.
00:01:19 Oh, yeah.
00:01:24 - You touched my nose!
00:01:26 - Okay, you gotta hold still, though.
00:01:35 Wow, that's big.
00:01:37 My face feels so swollen.
00:01:42 All right.
00:01:44 That feels so much better.
00:01:47 How do I look?
00:01:50 What, is it bad?
00:01:52 No. It's not that...
00:01:57 Oh, my God!
00:01:59 - Honey.
00:02:01 Honey! It's not that bad! Babe!
00:02:04 Lila, come on!
00:02:06 Lila, they have our credit card.
00:02:09 Go away! This is all your fault!
00:02:13 How is it my fault?
00:02:14 You threw such a hissy fit
00:02:18 that I wanted to prove you wrong!
00:02:20 You won, okay? Are you happy now?
00:02:23 - Lila, that's crazy talk.
00:02:26 Honey, it's just a sunburn!
00:02:45 Lila?
00:02:50 Lila, come on.
00:02:53 This is ridiculous.
00:02:56 None of your business.
00:03:01 Babe, come on, I gotta pee.
00:03:04 - So?
00:03:06 Go pee somewhere else.
00:03:08 Why don't you go explore Mexico
00:03:10 Honey, I don't want to explore Mexico
00:03:14 Well, I wanna be alone.
00:03:17 Well, you gotta eat.
00:03:19 Wanna have some breakfast?
00:03:21 Slide the menu under the door.
00:03:26 - Hey, you!
00:03:28 Hey.
00:03:29 I thought you guys were going
00:03:32 We slept in.
00:03:33 Yeah, I'm out a $150 deposit,
00:03:37 Well, I guess that's how y'all do it
00:03:39 You just rock on with no consideration
00:03:43 All right, Martin,
00:03:45 We all gonna chip in for the boat.
00:03:47 I'm not gonna chip in
00:03:50 - You gotta hear this one. You tell him.
00:03:53 Earlier today we were walking on
00:03:55 and we got to talking about last night.
00:03:57 Anyhow, Buzz was just saying how
00:04:00 - It's really been a pleasure.
00:04:02 By the way, for his birthday this year,
00:04:03 we're gonna get Boo
00:04:06 Can you imagine that?
00:04:08 he's gonna open it up,
00:04:09 - No numbers. "Byoo"!
00:04:11 That's great. He'll love that.
00:04:13 But that's a big secret.
00:04:15 Who am I gonna tell?
00:04:16 - Good to see you.
00:04:19 Eddie, what do you have there?
00:04:21 Oh, no, no. Yeah. No, no. I just...
00:04:24 I just wanted to load up on some carbs
00:04:29 And eggs, too. Eggs and carbs,
00:04:32 Hey, here's something to do.
00:04:34 There's a double-decker bus running
00:04:38 It's the basil capital of Mexico.
00:04:40 Let me see that.
00:04:41 - Did you say "bagel capital"?
00:04:43 I've always wondered how they cultivate
00:04:46 - Me, too. Education. No, it's a herb.
00:04:50 She puts it on a lot of
00:04:51 Everything.
00:04:52 - Oh, everything. I love it. Pesto.
00:04:54 - Is it spicy?
00:04:57 You can order a whole box of it.
00:05:00 Uncle Tito will take care
00:05:02 Hey. Listen, Tito, I need you
00:05:06 300 pesos.
00:05:07 You don't even know what it is yet.
00:05:08 It is something nasty,
00:05:11 All right, fine.
00:05:21 Honey? Is that you?
00:05:28 Good. I'll open the door,
00:05:47 Thank you.
00:05:50 Thanks. Okay. A little bit of salsa.
00:05:53 Are you okay?
00:06:23 But he keeps nipping at me.
00:07:04 Lime!
00:07:06 Oh, my God.
00:07:09 Good.
00:07:12 Hello?
00:07:15 Hey, Mac! Listen, man,
00:07:20 This is like my favorite place ever!
00:07:23 I told you you'd love it.
00:07:25 And the people, the people down here!
00:07:28 Oh, my God, I know. Aren't they great?
00:07:30 I'm seriously thinking
00:07:32 and open up a place down here.
00:07:33 I mean, wouldn't that be incredible?
00:07:36 So, how's Lila?
00:07:37 - Oh, I'm sorry, your name's Joachim?
00:07:40 Your wife. Lila.
00:07:44 She's not so good.
00:07:48 I've been hanging out
00:07:51 Yeah.
00:07:53 Wait. What, are you serious?
00:07:56 Divorce lawyer?
00:07:59 Do you get a buzz off it?
00:08:11 I'm telling you, the second we
00:08:14 She's a nightmare, Mac.
00:08:15 Yeah, well, bitches be crazy, man.
00:08:18 Tammy's always flipping switches.
00:08:19 What are you talking about?
00:08:20 You're always talking about
00:08:23 Look, you wanna know the secret
00:08:26 Plaster on a fake smile,
00:08:29 sit back, relax and wait
00:08:32 - Hey. Wow!
00:08:35 - And my butt?
00:08:37 Where is it?
00:08:42 - Come on back!
00:08:44 So, this other girl. It doesn't bother her
00:08:47 No. I mean, I haven't exactly made it
00:08:51 I just have to find
00:08:53 Eddie. Eddie!
00:08:54 Hold on a second.
00:08:56 Eddie! Come on, there are sea lions
00:08:58 Really? Okay, hang on!
00:09:00 She found sea lions now, come on!
00:09:04 Don't! Eddie, Eddie! Come home!
00:09:09 Wow.
00:09:10 Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
00:09:14 We know Major Tom's a junkie
00:09:18 Strung out in heaven's high
00:09:21 Hitting an all-time low
00:09:27 Wow, what a great day.
00:09:29 I had so much fun.
00:09:32 Here are your Mexican sombreros.
00:09:37 Look, the gang's back.
00:09:39 Basil sniffers.
00:09:41 Okay, let's hurry up.
00:09:42 We're supposed to meet everybody
00:09:44 Right, right. Okay, good.
00:09:51 Hey, Dad.
00:09:53 There's the guy from San Francisco
00:09:55 - Where?
00:09:58 Yeah, some crazy guy
00:10:02 They caught the dude, though.
00:10:07 Hey, baby!
00:10:08 Eddie Bear's home!
00:10:12 Well, I hope so,
00:10:14 Honey. Guess what happened?
00:10:17 Who do I run into out of the clear blue?
00:10:19 - Who?
00:10:21 Who?
00:10:22 Yvon Chouinard,
00:10:25 - And?
00:10:26 Come on, honey,
00:10:29 I carry their entire line. You know that.
00:10:30 So, Yvon and his buddies
00:10:33 - No.
00:10:34 So, what am I gonna do?
00:10:37 But you didn't bring your clubs.
00:10:38 I demoed a set! TaylorMade!
00:10:40 Sweet, too!
00:10:44 - Who were the buddies?
00:10:46 This guy Lenny from Akron, insurance
00:10:50 And the local Patagonia rep.
00:10:53 What was his name?
00:10:57 His name was Six-toe.
00:10:58 - Six-toe?
00:11:00 Amputee.
00:11:03 Did it without oxygen.
00:11:05 By the way, amazingly, he showed me.
00:11:08 lost the middle stuff
00:11:09 which are all you need.
00:11:11 In fact, he says
00:11:13 because he swings
00:11:14 less resistance. Fascinating guy.
00:11:17 Eddie, since when has golf
00:11:20 Yeah, well, we got behind
00:11:23 But I'll tell you, it actually worked
00:11:25 because we got to talk shop,
00:11:26 and if things pan out
00:11:28 we could be talking about some
00:11:31 Why didn't you call me?
00:11:34 Honey, I did!
00:11:36 You get a mile outside of this place, it's
00:11:39 What are you doing?
00:11:42 Lila, I just told you, I'm taking them
00:11:45 When did you say that?
00:11:48 Okay. First of all, these people...
00:11:51 These people, okay, they're primed.
00:11:54 This is the head of an incredibly
00:11:57 International, okay?
00:11:59 They have taken the bait, and now
00:12:01 and club 'em to death. Kill time, honey.
00:12:04 Kill time. I can't let the air out.
00:12:06 Then all the momentum I built up all day
00:12:08 By the way, shouldn't take too long,
00:12:09 because they started dropping back
00:12:12 So... Very interested
00:12:16 So, you know, it's gonna be good.
00:12:18 All right. Well, hang on a sec.
00:12:22 You're coming?
00:12:23 Of course I'm coming.
00:12:27 Yes! Good! Sweet!
00:12:28 I'll just call down and tell them
00:12:35 On the skiff?
00:12:37 We're going out on this little 12-foot
00:12:41 No, Eddie, I can't go on a boat.
00:12:44 Oh, crap. That's right.
00:12:46 You sure?
00:12:47 Because really, honey, we're only going
00:12:50 Right to where the continental shelf
00:12:54 The guy said it's where they filmed
00:12:59 Honey, I'm sorry, I feel really bad,
00:13:05 You know what? Screw it. Screw it!
00:13:07 What am I doing?
00:13:09 Thank you for getting my head straight.
00:13:10 - I'm gonna call and cancel. Right now.
00:13:15 All right. You know what? Fine. You win.
00:13:19 I'll go, finish the deal quickly, come
00:13:23 That sound good? All right?
00:13:25 - Okay.
00:13:26 Also, there's some important stuff
00:13:29 Oh, yeah? Like, good stuff or bad stuff?
00:13:33 Like, well, you know,
00:13:35 but then, I think, in the long run,
00:13:40 - Okay.
00:13:43 - Oh, honey?
00:13:45 I'm sorry I swatted you away
00:13:47 I didn't mean to hit you so hard.
00:13:50 Swatted me away?
00:13:52 You know, when you were
00:13:54 after you dropped off the food,
00:13:59 You just surprised me, you know?
00:14:03 But I promise
00:14:06 Super.
00:14:14 - Hey there, Tito.
00:14:16 How's it going, man?
00:14:17 - I'm okay.
00:14:19 'Cause you look like you got
00:14:21 Oh, that. No, it is a long story.
00:14:24 No, no, no. You bore me. Bore me.
00:14:27 I'd love to hear. What happened?
00:14:29 Okay. After I dropped the food off
00:14:32 I placed my penis in your wife's hand
00:14:35 She nailed me pretty good, too.
00:14:38 Are you for real?
00:14:41 What are you doing? You don't just...
00:14:44 That's not acceptable.
00:14:50 Screw off! You're joking, right?
00:14:54 - No.
00:14:55 No, I'm not joking. That's outrageous!
00:14:59 You don't just go and take your penis
00:15:04 Well, when you put it that way...
00:15:07 Wow, I'm sorry. I feel really bad, okay?
00:15:11 What were you thinking?
00:15:12 It's just that, well...
00:15:14 You come down here and you try
00:15:17 and then I see you running around
00:15:21 and I just figured that,
00:15:30 All right, fine.
00:15:32 I am sorry
00:15:45 - Hey!
00:15:48 Wow. You look beautiful.
00:15:50 Thanks.
00:15:52 - So, you gonna walk me over?
00:15:57 I gotta tell you something.
00:16:00 And it's something I should have said
00:16:04 I know about your wife.
00:16:07 You do?
00:16:10 How?
00:16:11 Beryl and everybody overheard some
00:16:15 They were talking about it on the bus?
00:16:18 So it's true, then?
00:16:20 Yeah, but it's really important
00:16:25 And I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.
00:16:27 You know,
00:16:28 because, you know,
00:16:30 And then... I don't know, I didn't realize
00:16:36 And I didn't wanna freak you out, so...
00:16:39 You wouldn't have freaked me out.
00:16:41 Really? So you're not mad?
00:16:44 No.
00:16:47 I'm sad.
00:16:49 That must have been horrible.
00:16:52 It was. It is. I mean, it sucks.
00:16:57 You're like the coolest person
00:17:03 Really.
00:17:05 No, I mean,
00:17:09 - So your whole family knows?
00:17:14 I can't imagine they're taking it
00:17:17 Of course they are.
00:17:19 - They just wanna support you.
00:17:22 Boo instructed everybody
00:17:27 Dynamite!
00:17:33 The burros.
00:17:34 You go to the top of a mountain and
00:17:37 No, all the way up
00:17:39 and you can camp out there overnight.
00:17:40 - By starlight, you make a fire...
00:17:42 - Totally. Totally in.
00:17:43 - Anytime.
00:17:46 That would be... Okay, I have some
00:17:49 It will be a bit of a headache,
00:17:52 Buzz.
00:17:53 Am I the only one who's still
00:17:56 I believe you are.
00:17:57 All right.
00:18:00 This dude's supposed to be
00:18:02 What's he doing
00:18:04 - And the goat was dead?
00:18:06 - Really?
00:18:09 Everybody mourns in their own way.
00:18:13 He likes her and she likes him.
00:18:15 And I don't think
00:18:17 I don't trust him.
00:19:01 Hey.
00:19:03 - Hi.
00:19:04 How you doing?
00:19:05 Honey, I'm sorry
00:19:09 I'm such a sucky wife.
00:19:11 No, honey, you're not.
00:19:12 You're great.
00:19:18 However, I do think we should talk.
00:19:21 Hold on. I have something for you.
00:19:29 I love that. Thank you.
00:19:33 So anyway, I've been thinking...
00:19:36 Honey, turn it over.
00:19:48 Did you make this?
00:19:51 Before we left.
00:19:53 You made this?
00:19:54 - You sewed this yourself?
00:19:57 And the hearts?
00:19:59 Your heart and my heart,
00:20:00 together
00:20:03 forever.
00:20:06 So, honey, what did you
00:20:11 I want to talk to you
00:20:16 I want you to get some rest
00:20:22 Give me a kiss.
00:20:23 Okay.
00:20:25 Eddie Bear, I love you.
00:20:29 I love, love, love, love, love...
00:20:33 Love, love, love.
00:20:36 - Okay.
00:20:40 So, what's this important stuff
00:20:43 Yeah, okay.
00:20:44 Oh, my God!
00:20:46 This guac is fucking awesome!
00:20:48 Is it? That's good. Good.
00:20:51 Your hand, Eddie.
00:20:56 Look, I'm just gonna
00:20:59 I have not been a good husband.
00:21:04 I am so glad to hear you say that, Eddie.
00:21:08 I mean, I thought I was losing my mind.
00:21:10 It's like the moment we got married,
00:21:12 a switch went off
00:21:16 Yes! Yes, you're right!
00:21:17 I did turn into... I've been a loony bird,
00:21:21 This conversation
00:21:22 because as a wife you've been spot-on.
00:21:26 You've been doing everything
00:21:29 and any man would be happy
00:21:33 and kudos to you for putting up with me
00:21:35 and all of my junk.
00:21:38 Thank you.
00:21:40 But the point is, honey, you shouldn't
00:21:45 You deserve so much better.
00:21:48 Yeah, you're apologizing.
00:21:51 No. No, I'm not... I'm not...
00:21:54 Oh, God, that frigging stuff is hot.
00:21:57 Honey, look...
00:22:00 In life, sometimes...
00:22:03 Sometimes we make choices,
00:22:04 and in retrospect, we realize
00:22:10 Not a bad choice, not a good choice,
00:22:11 just not the correct choice
00:22:18 What are you getting at, Eddie?
00:22:21 Lila,
00:22:23 we're not gonna be happy together
00:22:30 Rotterdam! That's where you gotta be.
00:22:34 That's where your destiny is.
00:22:36 Cleaning up the bogs,
00:22:38 and getting the environment
00:22:40 That's what you should be doing,
00:22:41 not hanging out in San Francisco
00:22:45 Oh, my God!
00:22:50 Are you saying
00:22:53 I'm saying...
00:22:55 Lila?
00:22:57 This is gonna be a good thing, Lila.
00:23:00 Lila, it's better. It's for the...
00:23:05 Lila, you got a little piece of tri-tip
00:23:13 This is so for the best. Do you hear me?
00:23:17 Can I call my mom?
00:23:18 Yes, of course!
00:23:26 - Hello?
00:23:29 No, no, I'm okay. It's just...
00:23:32 Something's happened.
00:23:34 Something huge.
00:23:35 Eddie's moving to Rotterdam with me.
00:23:39 No, no, wait! No, Lila, no.
00:23:41 He doesn't wanna be
00:23:44 Hold on, he wants to tell you himself.
00:23:46 I didn't want... Hello?
00:23:48 Hey, Eddie! You having fun?
00:23:49 Yeah, yeah, we're having a ball.
00:23:50 And I hear you're moving to Germany?
00:23:52 No, no.
00:23:53 See, Lila got a little bit
00:23:56 and I haven't actually gotten through
00:24:01 You know what? I gotta go.
00:24:03 I gotta say goodbye, okay?
00:24:04 - Okay. Yes.
00:24:07 - Hey!
00:24:10 What's that?
00:24:12 I know. I know.
00:24:16 - How you guys doing?
00:24:18 Beryl and Boo are set
00:24:20 and we can't find Miranda anywhere.
00:24:21 Have you seen her?
00:24:22 Hang on. Honey, who's Miranda?
00:24:24 Miranda, honey, is their cousin.
00:24:27 You know what? Excuse me
00:24:30 Sorry, Mom. Yeah, no. I don't know.
00:24:35 Guys! Guys! What are you doing?
00:24:39 What is this? What's going on?
00:24:40 Look, Martin, I know you're upset
00:24:42 with Cal, Miranda and me.
00:24:44 But there'll be a time and a place
00:24:47 I'm about to tell her.
00:24:49 Who is that?
00:24:51 It's my wife!
00:24:54 Wife?
00:24:55 Guys, what are you, like, snorting
00:24:59 - But your wife was murdered.
00:25:02 Those twins.
00:25:05 They said that your wife was murdered
00:25:10 No, no, no, no, no.
00:25:11 Look, you guys, all you have to know
00:25:13 is that from the second
00:25:15 I have not once cheated on her
00:25:17 And I'm not saying that
00:25:18 - I really haven't...
00:25:20 - Martin! Martin!
00:25:22 - No, stop!
00:25:27 Hey, what are you doing?
00:25:29 Get off me!
00:25:30 You gotta get yourself
00:25:34 - He is not worth it!
00:25:37 What is going on?
00:25:40 Eddie, who was that?
00:25:42 I have absolutely no idea.
00:25:44 How's your... How's your...
00:25:47 What do you mean, you have no idea?
00:25:48 They called you Eddie.
00:25:50 No, I know. I mean, I know who
00:25:53 I just didn't understand
00:25:57 You know, they get so...
00:25:59 Eddie, are you okay?
00:26:00 No! I'm not okay!
00:26:03 Look, Lila, we're not okay. It's over!
00:26:07 No!
00:26:09 Could you please go away?
00:26:11 - What?
00:26:13 - What do you mean?
00:26:15 - What's over?
00:26:18 Here! Here you go. Fifty.
00:26:21 Can you... No! No, stop!
00:26:24 Will you shut up?
00:26:28 Would you stop? I'm paying
00:26:32 I'm on my honeymoon.
00:26:34 Eddie, Eddie. It's okay.
00:26:35 No! It's not okay!
00:26:37 We're newlyweds! We just wanna have
00:26:40 How can we have any good memories
00:26:44 Eddie, Eddie.
00:26:49 Eddie, please sit down!
00:26:55 Wow, I was starting to wonder
00:27:00 Lila, I'm sorry,
00:27:06 What are you talking about, Eddie?
00:27:14 I'm sorry. I'll be right back.
00:27:16 I'm sorry. I'll be right back.
00:27:16 Eddie!
00:27:21 - Hey.
00:27:24 Oh, my God!
00:27:27 - Martin stuck a pepper up it.
00:27:30 Look, there's been
00:27:32 I don't mean to be rude, Eddie,
00:27:33 No!
00:27:35 I'm gonna be late
00:27:37 Look, my wife was never murdered.
00:27:39 - What?
00:27:41 In fact, I never actually said that,
00:27:45 What are you saying?
00:27:48 - No...
00:27:51 Martin just told me.
00:27:53 He's been staying here with his wife
00:27:57 What is she talking about?
00:28:00 It's true, I'm...
00:28:04 Get away from me.
00:28:05 Miranda, it's okay.
00:28:07 Get away from me. Leave me alone!
00:28:09 Miranda!
00:28:12 Hang on!
00:28:17 Eddie!
00:28:26 Shit!
00:28:38 - Eddie!
00:28:41 - Leave me alone! Get away from me!
00:28:44 Eddie! What the hell is going on?
00:28:46 Lila, I was trying to tell you before,
00:28:50 Did I cut my back on the rocks?
00:28:54 Oh, my God!
00:28:56 Man-o'-war!
00:28:57 Get it off! Get it off!
00:29:13 Come on, do something.
00:29:15 I'm not doing anything.
00:29:20 - It's okay! I know what to do.
00:29:27 Get off of me! No! No!
00:29:31 Oh, my gosh!
00:29:32 I know what I'm doing!
00:29:33 - No!
00:29:37 - Burning! Burning!
00:29:40 It's okay. It's okay.
00:29:43 I know, honey. Isn't that nice?
00:29:47 Sick!
00:29:51 Oh, no! It's okay, I'm his wife.
00:29:54 - We're on our honeymoon!
00:29:57 Miranda, it's not what it seems.
00:30:01 No. Wait, Miranda!
00:30:05 Miranda!
00:30:16 I think it was
00:30:19 With my dad busting my balls
00:30:24 then going to Jodi's wedding.
00:30:26 Why did I even go to Jodi's wedding,
00:30:30 Mac's all up in my grill about being
00:30:35 I don't know, I jumped,
00:30:38 I felt the heat and I jumped, and it was
00:30:42 And I'll tell you something.
00:30:43 I should've just gone with my dad to
00:30:48 That would've been
00:30:50 Señor Eddie!
00:30:52 Hey, there he is! Señor Tito!
00:30:59 Eddie, what are you doing?
00:31:01 I'm just hanging with my brother,
00:31:05 Eddie, people are looking for you.
00:31:07 Your father keeps calling, and then Mac
00:31:10 And what am I supposed to tell
00:31:14 - What do I tell her?
00:31:16 - Miranda?
00:31:17 - What?
00:31:21 And she has been everywhere
00:31:24 She has?
00:31:27 Screw off! I'm joking, man!
00:31:30 That chick ran for the hills, huh?
00:31:34 You should've seen your face!
00:31:37 For a moment, you were like...
00:31:41 I can't believe I got you again!
00:31:47 The funny man!
00:31:50 That's cool man, that's cool.
00:31:52 Seriously, are you here for a reason?
00:31:55 Huh? What's the deal?
00:31:56 What, you want me to... You want
00:31:59 Or go back to the States?
00:32:02 Look at you. Listen to you.
00:32:06 - Oh, I'm loco?
00:32:08 No, you're loco!
00:32:09 Lila burned my wallet, she burned
00:32:13 Okay? Even if I wanted
00:32:15 I can't get papers
00:32:19 But you know what? I don't need papers
00:32:23 'cause he doesn't want papers.
00:32:25 He just wants friendship, don't you?
00:32:29 And we're gonna stay here,
00:32:30 we're gonna keep talking it out
00:32:32 until it feels right up in my head.
00:32:34 Even if it takes forever. Am I right?
00:32:38 Listen, you little gringo pussy,
00:32:40 you've been ear-fucking me for
00:32:46 You wanna fix what you did?
00:32:48 Stop talking about it, just do it!
00:32:50 Get off your ass and do it!
00:32:57 Manuel is right, Señor Eddie.
00:32:59 You are going to have to go back and
00:33:03 - Get up!
00:33:04 You can do it, come on! Listen.
00:33:07 I have connections. You know, people
00:33:13 You're not joking?
00:33:14 No, I promise. I'm not kidding this time.
00:33:16 - Okay, good. Good, good.
00:33:19 But I don't wanna go to California.
00:33:32 It's cool! It's cool, guys!
00:33:34 I'm an American. I just lost my passport.
00:34:05 America!
00:34:20 Stop right there!
00:34:22 I'm an American!
00:35:06 - Come on, grab his hand!
00:35:13 Come on, buddy!
00:35:16 Come on! Grab it!
00:35:44 I'm going on the record here, Eddie.
00:35:53 Look, Pop, I appreciate your coming
00:35:57 This is just something
00:36:00 I still don't understand
00:36:02 She was such a sweet kid.
00:36:05 Dad, I love Miranda, okay?
00:36:09 I've never been more sure
00:36:11 All right, Eddie. Just be careful, okay?
00:36:13 Remember, this is the Bible Belt.
00:36:17 This is it, right here! Stop! Stop!
00:36:26 Don't you think we should clean you up
00:36:29 No. Look. I've been working on
00:36:31 I just want to go in and do it.
00:36:33 Knock 'em dead!
00:36:50 Seven pitches in a row over 90 miles
00:36:55 Byoo! Look what the cat dragged in!
00:37:01 I know, don't ask. Is Miranda around?
00:37:05 - You must be out of your mind.
00:37:08 Oh, my God! Why am I not surprised
00:37:12 It's all right.
00:37:13 Oh, you don't want any trouble?
00:37:16 You better get off my stoop!
00:37:18 That is a refreshingly honest response.
00:37:20 And let me just drop some of that
00:37:24 and tell you I made
00:37:28 I stepped in it, big-time.
00:37:30 And I admit it, okay?
00:37:32 I jumped into a marriage
00:37:34 I only knew my wife for a couple months
00:37:36 So that's the back story.
00:37:38 And how long did you know Miranda
00:37:44 Two days, and I hear that.
00:37:46 Let me just say to you,
00:37:48 I'm not gonna make
00:37:50 You can rest assured,
00:37:53 And once my annulment is finalized,
00:37:54 I really believe that Miranda
00:37:57 I mean, you know, date for a while.
00:37:59 Move in together for like a year, at least.
00:38:02 See what it feels like,
00:38:06 - Really?
00:38:08 There ain't gonna be a "this time,"
00:38:12 Miranda and Cal got married
00:38:15 What?
00:38:16 What're you talking about?
00:38:19 She has finally come to her senses.
00:38:22 I don't believe you.
00:38:23 - Oh, you better believe it.
00:38:24 - I don't believe you.
00:38:27 It's true.
00:38:30 They got married?
00:38:35 Well, can I...
00:38:38 - No, you cannot, all right?
00:38:40 You will stay the hell away
00:38:41 I'm gonna put my fist through your face!
00:38:43 I'll put both of my fists
00:38:45 I'm calm! I'm calm! I'm being calm.
00:38:48 Stop it. Eddie...
00:38:50 - Take it easy, boy.
00:38:51 Now, look, we ask you to respect
00:38:56 Give those kids a chance to be happy.
00:39:00 If you care about Miranda,
00:39:08 Okay, Beryl.
00:39:12 I will.
00:39:26 Miranda!
00:39:34 It's okay!
00:39:37 It's me. It's just Eddie.
00:39:40 Are you crazy?
00:39:42 This is crazy!
00:39:45 Hi!
00:39:46 - What the hell are you doing here?
00:39:49 Beryl told me you got married.
00:39:52 This is my husband sleeping
00:39:54 Yes, I do.
00:39:55 This is not the time or the place
00:39:57 Please, please. Look, I'll keep it quiet.
00:40:01 No! I am not going to hear you out!
00:40:04 I'm begging you! You don't know
00:40:07 Please, just hear me out.
00:40:11 You got one minute. Go.
00:40:13 Okay, look. First of all, I'm so sorry
00:40:16 See, I tried to tell you a couple of times,
00:40:20 And then there was this sort of
00:40:22 about my wife being murdered.
00:40:25 Anyway, the point is...
00:40:26 No! The point is,
00:40:29 you tried to pick me up
00:40:31 Do you know how creepy that is?
00:40:33 Yes, I do. I do. It's repulsive,
00:40:36 But, on the other hand,
00:40:53 Look, it's not my fault the Lord works
00:40:57 And so, yeah, I screwed up, okay?
00:41:01 But you know what?
00:41:03 I don't regret marrying Lila
00:41:05 because if I hadn't,
00:41:07 and I wouldn't have met you, and
00:41:11 and I will never apologize for that.
00:41:14 Not ever.
00:41:18 God damn it, Eddie.
00:41:19 I know.
00:41:25 Cal, it's fine.
00:41:26 Martin! Martin, put the bat down.
00:41:28 Just shush, all right?
00:41:32 What?
00:41:34 Who the hell is that guy?
00:41:35 This the psychopath who's trying
00:41:38 I knew you wouldn't stay away from her,
00:41:41 I can't help it.
00:41:45 Eddie, you've gotta get out of here!
00:41:46 Not until you give me an answer.
00:41:49 No! There ain't gonna be no answer!
00:41:51 Damn you, Martin!
00:41:54 You... Martin, that hurts!
00:41:56 You wanna throw down, tough guy?
00:41:59 I don't want any trouble here.
00:42:02 Well, trouble's found you, pussydick!
00:42:04 Dad! It's okay.
00:42:05 Look, Miranda, just tell me,
00:42:12 We can figure everything else out.
00:42:19 No, I don't, Eddie.
00:42:23 We had a connection in Mexico,
00:42:28 I love Cal, and everything that happened
00:42:35 I'm sorry.
00:42:37 That's the deal.
00:42:40 Come on, kid, let's get out of here.
00:42:45 Come on.
00:42:49 Come on.
00:42:53 Yeah, take care, Grandpa.
00:42:55 Come on, let's go.
00:42:57 Wow.
00:43:03 Hey, Dad?
00:43:05 Take a look.
00:43:07 If she's watching,
00:43:13 Your goose is cooked, Eddie.
00:43:38 Come on, man. You can't leave me now.
00:43:41 I finally straightened Tammy out.
00:43:44 What does that mean?
00:43:46 It means I stood up to her.
00:43:48 Thursday through Sunday,
00:43:51 I said, "I's needs my's alone time."
00:43:53 Really? You said that? Just like that?
00:43:57 Like, half that, yeah.
00:43:58 And she bought that?
00:44:04 Honey, I'm conversing
00:44:07 I'll speak to you later.
00:44:08 Goodbye.
00:44:11 - Wow. Impressive.
00:44:14 That's how it's gonna be from now on.
00:44:16 Mac, we've been through this before.
00:44:17 There's no reason for me
00:44:19 Lila got the store in the divorce.
00:44:24 I haven't really met anybody
00:44:26 That's because you're still
00:44:28 No, I'm not! I'm over her. I moved on.
00:44:31 In fact, I'm starting to think
00:44:33 that came out of that experience.
00:44:34 - Oh, really?
00:44:36 Like, you got to sit around
00:44:39 growing that funky beard.
00:44:41 Yeah, which is why I need to change.
00:44:43 I can't just sit around
00:44:45 I need to follow my instincts,
00:44:47 and right now my instincts
00:44:51 Mac, get your ass
00:44:54 You got it, sweetie. Hi.
00:44:56 Eddie! Think about what I said.
00:44:58 Bros before hos!
00:45:00 How you doing, Eddie? You sad?
00:45:03 - No.
00:45:05 Good. Okay.
00:45:08 Okay. Bye, Lester.
00:45:23 Now, for another $150,
00:45:29 A guided tour to the island's best reef!
00:45:32 - $150?
00:45:35 Or you can find it yourself.
00:45:37 I don't think you're gonna have
00:45:40 Tito! Don't scare these people.
00:45:43 There's sand sharks,
00:45:46 You see that attitude right there?
00:45:50 Hey, Manuelito! Do me a favor.
00:45:51 Help Tito give these folks
00:45:54 Throw in the fins for free.
00:45:56 - Oh, hey. Thanks, Eddie.
00:46:02 How much for a skimboard?
00:46:12 Hey! Hi!
00:46:14 Hi.
00:46:17 What are you doing here?
00:46:20 Down here with the family.
00:46:23 Beryl and Boo are renewing their vows
00:46:28 Wow!
00:46:29 And, to be honest,
00:46:31 you'd opened a business down here.
00:46:33 Oh, yeah? How'd you hear that?
00:46:37 I got the e-vite for your grand opening.
00:46:40 Oh, right.
00:46:47 I can't believe you really moved here.
00:46:49 Yeah, I did it.
00:46:50 I became one of those
00:46:54 like we talked about.
00:46:55 - Yeah, I remember.
00:46:57 Suits you.
00:47:01 You look beautiful.
00:47:04 Thanks.
00:47:06 So, you down here with Cal
00:47:12 Cal and I split up.
00:47:15 Split up.
00:47:17 He's a great guy, but we probably
00:47:24 I'm sorry.
00:47:27 I guess now I know what you
00:47:32 It's not easy being married when
00:47:35 you're in love with someone else.
00:47:41 He's in the car,
00:47:45 He's...
00:47:47 Really? He's in the car?
00:47:50 No! No.
00:47:57 Funny.
00:47:59 Got me. That was... That's good.
00:48:01 - Very funny.
00:48:02 - So, you are single. You're single?
00:48:07 I'm actually staying at the hotel, if you
00:48:11 wanna grab a drink or something.
00:48:15 I would love that.
00:48:18 How about tonight, 7:00?
00:48:22 7:00, I could do that. Yeah.
00:48:25 - Cool.
00:48:26 Miranda!
00:48:28 Come on, we're gonna miss
00:48:30 - I'm coming!
00:48:33 Hello, asshole!
00:48:35 Great to see you, too!
00:48:40 So, I'll see you tonight.
00:48:41 Yeah, I'll see you tonight.
00:48:49 Eddie?
00:48:51 Who was that?
00:48:53 Oh, hey! Yeah, it's unbelievable.
00:48:58 Who?
00:48:59 Gretchen Construbias,
00:49:01 Da Huey Water Wear Sports.
00:49:05 Yeah, anyway, she's in town
00:49:06 She wants to get together and have
00:49:10 - Tonight?
00:49:12 Oh, but, honey, it's our first anniversary.
00:49:14 I know, I know.
00:49:17 - Oh, okay. So we have a late dinner?
00:49:20 Yes, perfect.
00:49:22 because there's some stuff
00:49:25 Oh. Good stuff or bad stuff?
00:49:28 Well, I think at first you might flinch,
00:49:31 but in the long run, great stuff.
00:49:37 I love you, Eddie.
00:49:39 Love, love, love, love, love.
00:49:46 Fuck me.
00:52:39 Cock me! Cock me!
00:52:44 Yes, yes!
00:52:46 Finally!
00:52:48 Yes, you're doing it!