|
Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy The
|
| 00:00:30 |
It's an important and popular fact |
| 00:00:33 |
that things are not always |
| 00:00:37 |
For instance, on the planet Earth, |
| 00:00:41 |
that he was the most intelligent |
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instead of the third most intelligent. |
| 00:00:48 |
The second most intelligent creatures |
| 00:00:52 |
had long known of the impending |
| 00:00:56 |
They'd made many attempts |
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but most of their communications |
| 00:01:02 |
as amusing attempts to punch footballs |
| 00:01:05 |
So they eventually decided they would |
| 00:01:10 |
The last ever dolphin message |
| 00:01:13 |
as a sophisticated attempt |
| 00:01:17 |
through a hoop, whistling |
| 00:01:20 |
In fact, the message was this: |
| 00:01:21 |
"So long and thanks for all the fish. " |
| 00:04:00 |
The extraordinary story |
| 00:04:05 |
begins very simply. |
| 00:04:07 |
It begins with a man. |
| 00:04:17 |
Ooh! |
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An Earthman, to be precise. |
| 00:04:21 |
Who no more knows his destiny, |
| 00:04:22 |
than a tea leaf knows the history |
| 00:04:28 |
His name is Arthur Dent. |
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He is a five-foot-eight-inch-tall |
| 00:04:34 |
and someone is trying to drive |
| 00:04:44 |
What do I want you to do about it? |
| 00:04:46 |
and tell him I'm currently lying |
| 00:04:50 |
Fine, I'll hold. |
| 00:04:51 |
You can't lie in front |
| 00:04:54 |
I'm game. We'll see who rusts first. |
| 00:04:56 |
This bypass has got to be built |
| 00:05:00 |
- Why has it got to be built? |
| 00:05:04 |
You've got to build bypasses. Besides, |
| 00:05:08 |
The plans have been on display |
| 00:05:12 |
On display? |
| 00:05:15 |
Mr. Dent, have you any idea how much |
| 00:05:20 |
if I just let it roll straight over you? |
| 00:05:24 |
- How much? |
| 00:05:27 |
By a strange coincidence, |
| 00:05:30 |
is exactly how much suspicion |
| 00:05:34 |
that one of his closest friends |
| 00:05:35 |
was not descended from an ape, |
| 00:05:39 |
somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse. |
| 00:05:43 |
Arthur! Arthur! |
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- Ford! |
| 00:05:48 |
Here. |
| 00:05:49 |
Ah, there you are! |
| 00:05:51 |
Eat, drink. We gotta talk. |
| 00:05:53 |
Now's not the best time. |
| 00:05:56 |
Whoa! You already... |
| 00:06:01 |
What do you m...? |
| 00:06:04 |
Oh, they, they? When you say |
| 00:06:07 |
Listen. I got somethin' important |
| 00:06:12 |
Well, what about my house? |
| 00:06:19 |
Workers of the Earth, I bring |
| 00:06:35 |
- Good. Let's go to the pub. |
| 00:06:37 |
They won't demolish it |
| 00:06:40 |
- Can we trust 'em? |
| 00:06:43 |
- How far's that? |
| 00:06:45 |
Huh? |
| 00:06:46 |
Barman, six pints of bitter and quickly. |
| 00:06:48 |
Barman, six pints of bitter and quickly. |
| 00:06:50 |
Six pints coming up. |
| 00:06:52 |
Keep the change. |
| 00:06:56 |
Three pints each? At lunchtime? |
| 00:07:07 |
Sorry. Ah. Time is an illusion. |
| 00:07:11 |
Lunchtime, doubly so. |
| 00:07:13 |
And eat those peanuts, |
| 00:07:17 |
- Look, what is going on, Ford? |
| 00:07:22 |
What if I told you |
| 00:07:26 |
I was from a small planet |
| 00:07:30 |
Is that something |
| 00:07:32 |
Remember when we met? |
| 00:07:41 |
Out the way! |
| 00:07:42 |
- Oof! |
| 00:07:47 |
Wasn't it strange I was trying |
| 00:07:50 |
I assumed you were drunk. |
| 00:07:51 |
I thought cars were the dominant |
| 00:07:56 |
You saved my life. And now |
| 00:08:00 |
It must be Thursday. I could never get |
| 00:08:03 |
- If this is about your house... |
| 00:08:11 |
- Who's he? |
| 00:08:13 |
Tricia McMillan. |
| 00:08:18 |
I hate those kind of parties. |
| 00:08:20 |
I'd rather have stayed at home |
| 00:08:23 |
- But there I was. |
| 00:08:26 |
- Oh! |
| 00:08:27 |
- Uh, Dent. Arthur Dent. |
| 00:08:32 |
Oh, the costume? Right. |
| 00:08:37 |
Yeah, it's not as clever as Darwin, |
| 00:08:41 |
You're the first to get that right. |
| 00:08:43 |
- Really? |
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- Right. |
| 00:08:49 |
So did I. |
| 00:08:50 |
People at these parties |
| 00:08:53 |
What? |
| 00:08:54 |
All these people are idiots! |
| 00:09:01 |
That's awkward. |
| 00:09:03 |
Tell me. |
| 00:09:06 |
She was amazing though, Ford. |
| 00:09:09 |
Beautiful, witty, mad as a balloon. |
| 00:09:12 |
Uh, without the beard, |
| 00:09:17 |
Maybe I'm de-evolving. |
| 00:09:22 |
Well, I should tell you |
| 00:09:25 |
single-celled organisms, okay? |
| 00:09:31 |
Let's go somewhere. |
| 00:09:33 |
Yeah. Definitely. |
| 00:09:37 |
- Madagascar. |
| 00:09:41 |
No, it's a country |
| 00:09:45 |
That Madagascar? |
| 00:09:48 |
Wait a sec. |
| 00:09:51 |
Go. |
| 00:09:56 |
God, you're serious. |
| 00:10:00 |
- Why not? |
| 00:10:03 |
- You're serious? |
| 00:10:05 |
I want to go somewhere I've never been |
| 00:10:09 |
...what do you say, Dr Livingstone? |
| 00:10:12 |
I say that's |
| 00:10:17 |
I can't go. I mean, I've got a job. |
| 00:10:20 |
Quit. Get a new one |
| 00:10:23 |
I don't even know your real name. |
| 00:10:25 |
- Tricia McMillan. |
| 00:10:28 |
Um, I have a proposition for you. |
| 00:10:32 |
Why don't we go somewhere |
| 00:10:39 |
and we'll see how it goes. |
| 00:10:43 |
Right, of course, Cornwall. |
| 00:10:47 |
Hey, excuse me. |
| 00:10:53 |
Is this guy boring you? |
| 00:10:54 |
Why don't you talk to me instead? |
| 00:10:57 |
I'm from a different planet. |
| 00:11:03 |
It's true. You want to see my spaceship? |
| 00:11:07 |
"Do you want to see my spaceship?" |
| 00:11:11 |
Mm, that does happen. |
| 00:11:14 |
Speaking of... |
| 00:11:18 |
We've got two minutes. |
| 00:11:20 |
That's my house. |
| 00:11:30 |
People of Earth, a round of drinks, |
| 00:11:34 |
You really think |
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Yes. |
| 00:11:38 |
Shouldn't we lie down, or put a paper |
| 00:11:43 |
- If you like. |
| 00:11:46 |
Not at all. See you. |
| 00:11:48 |
Last orders! |
| 00:12:06 |
- What is that? |
| 00:12:08 |
Look out! |
| 00:12:38 |
Aha! Towel! |
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Arthur! |
| 00:12:43 |
What the hell are those things? |
| 00:12:45 |
Yeow! They're ships |
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I picked up their signal this morning. |
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- What are you doing? |
| 00:13:00 |
Um, people of Earth, |
| 00:13:02 |
this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the |
| 00:13:07 |
As you are probably aware, |
| 00:13:09 |
plans for the development of the |
| 00:13:13 |
involve the building of a hyperspace |
| 00:13:17 |
And your planet is one of those |
| 00:13:30 |
There's no point |
| 00:13:32 |
The plans have been on display |
| 00:13:35 |
at your local planning office |
| 00:13:40 |
If you can't be bothered with |
| 00:13:43 |
Apathetic bloody planet. |
| 00:13:46 |
I've no sympathy at all. |
| 00:15:36 |
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy |
| 00:15:40 |
is a wholly remarkable book. |
| 00:15:42 |
Perhaps the most remarkable, |
| 00:15:45 |
ever to come out of the great publishing |
| 00:15:49 |
More popular than |
| 00:15:53 |
better selling than |
| 00:15:57 |
and more controversial than |
| 00:16:00 |
of philosophical blockbusters, |
| 00:16:03 |
Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes, |
| 00:16:05 |
and Who Is This God Person Anyway? |
| 00:16:09 |
It's already supplanted |
| 00:16:12 |
as the standard repository |
| 00:16:15 |
for two important reasons. |
| 00:16:17 |
First, it's slightly cheaper, |
| 00:16:20 |
and second, it has the words |
| 00:16:23 |
printed in large, |
| 00:16:35 |
So you're not from Guildford? |
| 00:16:38 |
Which would explain the accent, |
| 00:16:42 |
Um, you're not an out-of-work actor, |
| 00:16:46 |
but rather a writer for this, |
| 00:16:52 |
Good, huh? |
| 00:16:54 |
I don't feel well. |
| 00:16:57 |
If I asked where we were, |
| 00:17:00 |
- We're safe for now. |
| 00:17:04 |
We're in the washroom on one of the |
| 00:17:08 |
- Oh, get me home, Ford. |
| 00:17:11 |
Oh, God, my home. |
| 00:17:21 |
You don't remember. |
| 00:17:24 |
Okay, Arthur, I've got something to tell |
| 00:17:30 |
Your home planet has been blown up. |
| 00:17:42 |
Huh, blown up. |
| 00:17:51 |
Couldn't you have done something? |
| 00:17:53 |
I saved your life. |
| 00:17:57 |
It's a tough galaxy. If you want |
| 00:18:01 |
...gotta know where your towel is. |
| 00:18:05 |
Okay, give me a hand over here. |
| 00:18:10 |
Careful. It's hot. |
| 00:18:14 |
Before the Vogons find us. |
| 00:18:16 |
Vogons, they hate hitchhikers. Pull. |
| 00:18:19 |
Huh? |
| 00:18:25 |
- Now we'll get a signal. |
| 00:18:28 |
Ask the Guide. Say "Vogons". |
| 00:18:31 |
Vogons. |
| 00:18:35 |
Vogons are one of the |
| 00:18:39 |
Not evil, but bad-tempered, |
| 00:18:44 |
They wouldn't even lift a finger |
| 00:18:47 |
from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast |
| 00:18:51 |
signed in triplicate, |
| 00:18:53 |
queried, lost, found, |
| 00:18:57 |
lost again and finally buried |
| 00:19:00 |
and recycled as firelighters. |
| 00:19:04 |
On no account should you allow |
| 00:19:11 |
They can't think or imagine. |
| 00:19:19 |
Hmm? |
| 00:19:22 |
And if we don't get a ride soon, |
| 00:19:24 |
we won't need the Guide to tell us |
| 00:19:27 |
They've already destroyed |
| 00:19:30 |
That always makes them a little eee! |
| 00:19:37 |
Ughh! What is that? |
| 00:19:39 |
- Put this in your ear. |
| 00:19:46 |
We have unwittingly |
| 00:19:50 |
The fish is translating for you. |
| 00:19:54 |
The Babel fish |
| 00:19:57 |
and probably the oddest thing |
| 00:20:01 |
It feeds on brainwave energy, |
| 00:20:06 |
and excreting a matrix |
| 00:20:09 |
to the speech centers of the brain. |
| 00:20:11 |
The practical upshot of which is that, |
| 00:20:14 |
you instantly understand |
| 00:20:28 |
Resistance is useless. |
| 00:20:34 |
- All right. |
| 00:20:37 |
Here we go. Look lively. |
| 00:21:00 |
Wheee! |
| 00:21:06 |
Ha, ha! |
| 00:21:15 |
- Hmmm. |
| 00:21:18 |
- What? |
| 00:22:00 |
"O freddled gruntbuggly... " |
| 00:22:04 |
No, really, you don't have to read. |
| 00:22:06 |
We've put you through |
| 00:22:09 |
"... as plerdled gabbleblotchits |
| 00:22:14 |
Vogon poetry is widely accepted |
| 00:22:21 |
The second worst |
| 00:22:24 |
During a recitation by their |
| 00:22:28 |
of his poem |
| 00:22:31 |
I Found in my Armpit |
| 00:22:34 |
four of his audience |
| 00:22:37 |
and the President of the |
| 00:22:40 |
survived by gnawing |
| 00:22:43 |
"Or I will rend thee |
| 00:22:48 |
"... with my blurgle... " |
| 00:22:51 |
The absolute worst poetry was |
| 00:22:55 |
Luckily, it was destroyed |
| 00:22:58 |
"See if I don't. " Yeah. |
| 00:23:05 |
So, Earthlings, |
| 00:23:10 |
Either die in the vacuum of space, |
| 00:23:14 |
or tell me what you thought of my poem. |
| 00:23:20 |
A... a... actually, I rather liked it. |
| 00:23:24 |
- Hmm? |
| 00:23:26 |
- That's good. Run with it. |
| 00:23:29 |
Uh, some of the words |
| 00:23:31 |
but I found the imagery quite effective. |
| 00:23:36 |
Continue. |
| 00:23:37 |
Well, uh, yes, |
| 00:23:41 |
which seemed to counterpoint |
| 00:23:43 |
the underlying metaphor |
| 00:23:46 |
- Vogonity! |
| 00:23:50 |
of the poet's soul. |
| 00:23:56 |
So what you're saying is, |
| 00:24:00 |
I write poetry because |
| 00:24:02 |
underneath this mean, |
| 00:24:07 |
I just want to be loved? |
| 00:24:12 |
Yes, yes, yes. |
| 00:24:14 |
Yes, yes, yeah, please. |
| 00:24:17 |
Ahh, ooh, ooh, mmm. |
| 00:24:22 |
Throw them off the ship! |
| 00:24:24 |
- No! No! |
| 00:24:28 |
Ahh! |
| 00:24:29 |
All right! All right! |
| 00:24:31 |
Resistance is useless! |
| 00:24:38 |
Shut up! Get a job! |
| 00:24:42 |
Don't panic. Don't panic. |
| 00:24:45 |
So this is it? |
| 00:24:51 |
Yeah, we're gonna die. |
| 00:24:55 |
No, no, what's this? |
| 00:24:58 |
What is this? |
| 00:25:00 |
What's this? This is... nothing. |
| 00:25:15 |
You're sweating. |
| 00:25:25 |
- Would you like a hug? |
| 00:25:41 |
"Space," says the introduction |
| 00:25:45 |
"is big. Really big. " |
| 00:25:47 |
"You just won't believe how vastly, |
| 00:25:53 |
A... a... and so on. |
| 00:25:55 |
It also says that |
| 00:25:58 |
you can survive in the total vacuum |
| 00:26:03 |
But with space being really big and all, |
| 00:26:05 |
the chances of being picked up |
| 00:26:08 |
are two to the power of two billion, |
| 00:26:10 |
79 million, 460 thousand, |
| 00:26:14 |
347 to one against. |
| 00:26:17 |
By a staggering coincidence, |
| 00:26:18 |
it's also the phone number |
| 00:26:21 |
where Arthur went to a fancy dress party |
| 00:26:23 |
and met a very nice young woman |
| 00:26:30 |
Though the planet Earth, |
| 00:26:34 |
have all now been demolished, Ford |
| 00:26:40 |
- Ford? |
| 00:26:43 |
- I think I'm a sofa. |
| 00:26:55 |
So much for the laws of physics. |
| 00:26:57 |
And our top story. |
| 00:26:59 |
The sensational theft of the most |
| 00:27:04 |
the starship Heart of Gold. |
| 00:27:06 |
Stolen at the launch ceremony |
| 00:27:08 |
than Galactic President |
| 00:27:11 |
In the name of people, freedom, |
| 00:27:17 |
I hereby kidnap myself |
| 00:27:21 |
Come on! |
| 00:27:23 |
Beeblebrox, |
| 00:27:25 |
to be the dimmest star |
| 00:27:29 |
is most famous for his controversial |
| 00:27:32 |
who claimed many thought they were |
| 00:27:36 |
in the universe contest. |
| 00:27:39 |
Great. |
| 00:27:41 |
Kavula is best remembered |
| 00:27:44 |
"Don't Vote for Stupid!" campaign. |
| 00:27:46 |
Put your ego aside. |
| 00:27:50 |
If there's anything more important than |
| 00:27:54 |
Come on, I love it. |
| 00:27:56 |
Zaphod's just this guy, you know. |
| 00:28:01 |
Hey, hey, hey, hey. What d'you...? |
| 00:28:03 |
- I was just watching myself. |
| 00:28:08 |
Hitchhikers? |
| 00:28:10 |
I didn't. The ship did. |
| 00:28:12 |
What? Wh... wh... Say what? |
| 00:28:15 |
When we engaged the |
| 00:28:19 |
- I know. |
| 00:28:22 |
In sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha. Wait. |
| 00:28:26 |
- On Earth. |
| 00:28:28 |
- No, just very improbable. |
| 00:28:31 |
We've got the police of half the galaxy |
| 00:28:36 |
So ten out of ten for style, but... |
| 00:28:38 |
...minus several million |
| 00:28:41 |
You're too gorgeous, baby, stop it. |
| 00:28:45 |
Don't. I'll send Marvin. |
| 00:28:49 |
Marvin. |
| 00:28:53 |
You ought to know, |
| 00:28:58 |
Well, we have something |
| 00:29:01 |
It won't work. |
| 00:29:06 |
Yeah, we know. But we need you to go |
| 00:29:12 |
and pick up our stowaways |
| 00:29:15 |
Just that? I won't enjoy it. |
| 00:29:18 |
Yeah, well, that's life. |
| 00:29:21 |
Life? |
| 00:29:34 |
- Commander Kwaltz. |
| 00:29:37 |
We have located the spaceship |
| 00:29:41 |
- Where? |
| 00:29:45 |
Requesting hyperspace clearance. |
| 00:29:48 |
Hold your position, captain, |
| 00:29:54 |
- Yes, sir. |
| 00:30:02 |
Hyperspace permission granted, captain. |
| 00:30:06 |
Here we go. |
| 00:30:30 |
I think that door just sighed. |
| 00:30:33 |
Ghastly, isn't it? |
| 00:30:35 |
All the doors have been programmed |
| 00:30:38 |
to have a cheerful |
| 00:30:43 |
Anyway, come on. I've been ordered |
| 00:30:50 |
Please yourselves. |
| 00:30:52 |
Here I am, |
| 00:30:55 |
and they ask me to take you |
| 00:30:58 |
Call that job satisfaction? |
| 00:31:02 |
You can thank the Sirius Cybernetics |
| 00:31:07 |
- What's G.P.P.? |
| 00:31:11 |
I'm a personality prototype. |
| 00:31:20 |
Arthur? |
| 00:31:24 |
Hey, Slim, are you wearing |
| 00:31:29 |
And they ain't doing the trick. |
| 00:31:33 |
Oh, for heaven's sake. |
| 00:31:38 |
I've brought the aliens. |
| 00:31:41 |
Ah-ha! Ow! |
| 00:31:43 |
Freeze! |
| 00:31:45 |
Freeze? |
| 00:31:49 |
- I wasn't talking to you, Giggles. |
| 00:31:52 |
- Zaphod? |
| 00:31:54 |
Is that you? |
| 00:31:59 |
What the hell are you doing here? |
| 00:32:01 |
I just stuck out my thumb and here I am. |
| 00:32:04 |
- That is so you. |
| 00:32:07 |
President of the Galaxy. |
| 00:32:12 |
You zarkin' frood. |
| 00:32:13 |
I want you to meet a friend. |
| 00:32:18 |
Oh. |
| 00:32:19 |
President of the Galaxy. This is my |
| 00:32:24 |
- We share three of the same mothers. |
| 00:32:28 |
Have we? I'm sorry. |
| 00:32:33 |
This is him, Ford. The would-you-like- |
| 00:32:38 |
- Hmm. |
| 00:32:39 |
- Hello, Arthur. |
| 00:32:45 |
- How you doin'? |
| 00:32:47 |
This is my semi-half-brother Ix, |
| 00:32:51 |
- Hi. |
| 00:32:54 |
Um, would you excuse us |
| 00:32:58 |
You went down on that little planet |
| 00:33:01 |
Sorry, I didn't know. |
| 00:33:04 |
Hi, Tricia McMillan, right? |
| 00:33:06 |
I think he called you Trillian. |
| 00:33:10 |
I shortened it. |
| 00:33:12 |
Right. I was thinking |
| 00:33:15 |
I don't know, Arthoolia. |
| 00:33:17 |
That's a good one. |
| 00:33:21 |
- How'd you get here? |
| 00:33:25 |
- Right. In your pajamas? |
| 00:33:29 |
Okay. Did you know I was here? |
| 00:33:31 |
Don't flatter yourself. |
| 00:33:34 |
Yeah, that's kinda like |
| 00:33:36 |
Okay, um, look. |
| 00:33:38 |
I left you at the party. I feel bad, but |
| 00:33:42 |
Well, there is no |
| 00:33:47 |
You do know what happened? |
| 00:33:48 |
Enough small talk. |
| 00:33:51 |
Excuse me, we're having a chat. |
| 00:33:53 |
Well, I think the girl's getting... |
| 00:33:56 |
You blew it with her, Earthman, so shut |
| 00:34:01 |
- You wanna fight? |
| 00:34:03 |
- No. No. |
| 00:34:06 |
I'm a kidder. Let's be friends. |
| 00:34:10 |
Didn't see that one coming, did you? |
| 00:34:12 |
Popped right out of the box. |
| 00:34:16 |
Teach your pal a lesson, Ford. |
| 00:34:19 |
He's a guest on my ship! |
| 00:34:22 |
I thought you said you stole it. |
| 00:34:26 |
Stole what? |
| 00:34:29 |
Whoa! That doesn't sound good. |
| 00:34:37 |
- Are you okay? |
| 00:34:41 |
A little help over here. |
| 00:34:44 |
I'll take care of this. Good Zarquon, |
| 00:34:47 |
Yes, I do! |
| 00:34:48 |
Hey, this is really pretty. |
| 00:34:51 |
- Don't! |
| 00:34:53 |
Fire a gun. Launch a missile. |
| 00:35:05 |
Ow! Stop that! Ow! |
| 00:35:06 |
Just kiddin'. I love it rough. Hit me. |
| 00:35:08 |
- Uh, computer? |
| 00:35:11 |
I'm Eddie, your computer. |
| 00:35:14 |
I'm pleased to report that it's |
| 00:35:18 |
They're sending you a message. |
| 00:35:20 |
This is Vice-President Questular Rontok. |
| 00:35:22 |
I am speaking to the kidnapper |
| 00:35:26 |
She digs me. |
| 00:35:27 |
Surrender the stolen vessel at once |
| 00:35:29 |
or we will take action |
| 00:35:35 |
section 1-8 of the Galactic Interstellar |
| 00:35:39 |
Zaphod, please come back now. |
| 00:35:42 |
Leap to hyperspace! Come on! |
| 00:35:45 |
Sure thing, fella! |
| 00:35:55 |
No. |
| 00:35:56 |
Did they have proper |
| 00:36:02 |
- No, commander. |
| 00:36:06 |
Bring me the request |
| 00:36:11 |
I'm coming, sir. |
| 00:36:16 |
I'm boiling! |
| 00:36:21 |
So are you along for the ride |
| 00:36:26 |
That depends. Where are you going? |
| 00:36:29 |
Where am I going? |
| 00:36:32 |
- You okay? |
| 00:36:37 |
Yes, there is. Come on. |
| 00:36:40 |
When you see what I'm about to show you, |
| 00:36:45 |
The best drink in existence |
| 00:36:49 |
the effect of which is like having your |
| 00:36:54 |
wrapped round a large gold brick. |
| 00:37:01 |
- Belgium. Hold it one second. |
| 00:37:05 |
Ape-man, Earth dude, sorry, |
| 00:37:08 |
- Arthur. |
| 00:37:11 |
No hard feelings, okay? |
| 00:37:14 |
- Earth. |
| 00:37:16 |
Got these boots there. |
| 00:37:19 |
Because if you do... I'll pull your |
| 00:37:23 |
- All right. Thanks, buddy. |
| 00:37:26 |
Good stuff. Like those jammies. |
| 00:37:30 |
Hey, hey, Zaphod, |
| 00:37:35 |
Oh, yeah. Apparently, you can't be |
| 00:37:40 |
It's crazy. |
| 00:37:42 |
- Oh, so you carved it up? |
| 00:37:44 |
Parts of my personality weren't exactly |
| 00:37:48 |
You know what I'm talkin' about. |
| 00:37:54 |
Your tea is ready. |
| 00:38:08 |
I suppose I should've said |
| 00:38:13 |
So, two heads |
| 00:38:16 |
I mean, if I'd had two heads, |
| 00:38:18 |
Or your own spaceship. |
| 00:38:22 |
Anything else he's got two of? |
| 00:38:23 |
Come on, Arthur, don't be like that. |
| 00:38:26 |
What am I supposed to be like? |
| 00:38:30 |
I can fold my eyelids |
| 00:38:33 |
Okay, look. Do you see this? |
| 00:38:37 |
This detects what you're craving |
| 00:38:41 |
Enjoy your doughnut. |
| 00:38:47 |
Do you see this? |
| 00:38:52 |
This toasts bread |
| 00:39:00 |
We're on a spaceship, Arthur. In space. |
| 00:39:05 |
- I told you I wanted to get away. |
| 00:39:08 |
That was... some sort of test. |
| 00:39:14 |
- How badly does it hurt? |
| 00:39:18 |
No, I mean your chin. |
| 00:39:20 |
- Ah... |
| 00:39:22 |
Right. |
| 00:39:26 |
Hey! |
| 00:39:30 |
Tricia... Trillian, sorry. |
| 00:39:35 |
- Please, don't. |
| 00:39:45 |
I'm going to set up. |
| 00:39:48 |
Buttons aren't toys. |
| 00:39:50 |
Anyway... When I saw |
| 00:39:53 |
that's when I realized |
| 00:39:58 |
I think. It's all a little... |
| 00:40:02 |
...shaky. |
| 00:40:06 |
I've seen it. It's rubbish. |
| 00:40:07 |
I've seen it. It's rubbish. |
| 00:40:13 |
Many millions of years ago, |
| 00:40:15 |
a race of hyper intelligent, |
| 00:40:18 |
got so fed up with the constant |
| 00:40:22 |
that they commissioned |
| 00:40:25 |
to design and build |
| 00:40:29 |
to calculate the answer to life, |
| 00:40:33 |
O Deep Thought, |
| 00:40:36 |
we want you to tell us the answer. |
| 00:40:41 |
The answer to what? |
| 00:40:43 |
The answer to life, |
| 00:40:48 |
We'd really like an answer. |
| 00:40:52 |
Hmm, I'd have to think about that. |
| 00:40:55 |
Return to this place in exactly |
| 00:41:02 |
- Is it finished? |
| 00:41:05 |
- Seven-and-a-half million years later? |
| 00:41:27 |
Deep Thought, do you have... |
| 00:41:30 |
An answer for you? |
| 00:41:35 |
- It doesn't matter. We must know it. |
| 00:41:39 |
The answer to the ultimate question... |
| 00:41:43 |
... of life, the universe |
| 00:41:49 |
... is... |
| 00:41:57 |
... 42. |
| 00:41:58 |
Yeah? What? |
| 00:42:01 |
42? |
| 00:42:04 |
Yes, I thought it over |
| 00:42:08 |
It would've been simpler |
| 00:42:11 |
But it was the question. |
| 00:42:16 |
That's not a question. |
| 00:42:18 |
Only when you know the question |
| 00:42:22 |
- Give us the ultimate question then. |
| 00:42:27 |
A computer that will calculate |
| 00:42:31 |
A computer of such infinite complexity, |
| 00:42:34 |
that life itself will form part |
| 00:42:38 |
And you yourselves shall take on new, |
| 00:42:42 |
and go down into the computer to |
| 00:42:48 |
I shall design this computer for you, |
| 00:42:57 |
- That's it? |
| 00:43:01 |
You're looking for |
| 00:43:05 |
I tried that. |
| 00:43:08 |
- Let's get it ready, baby. |
| 00:43:11 |
...do you want to know |
| 00:43:14 |
Partly curiosity, |
| 00:43:17 |
but, uh, mostly I think |
| 00:43:20 |
You're President of the Galaxy. |
| 00:43:23 |
- Yes, Arman. |
| 00:43:25 |
Whatever. |
| 00:43:27 |
I find the question, that's permanent. |
| 00:43:31 |
Plus, everyone thinks you're deep. |
| 00:43:34 |
We just hit that button and bam, |
| 00:43:39 |
We've hit it twice and |
| 00:43:42 |
- You in? |
| 00:43:45 |
- All right! |
| 00:43:48 |
- Uh, sorry, what exactly are we doing? |
| 00:43:55 |
The Infinite Improbability Drive |
| 00:43:59 |
of crossing interstellar distances |
| 00:44:02 |
without all that tedious |
| 00:44:05 |
As the Improbability Drive |
| 00:44:09 |
it passes through every conceivable |
| 00:44:13 |
almost simultaneously. |
| 00:44:15 |
So you're never sure |
| 00:44:17 |
or even what species you'll be |
| 00:44:19 |
It's therefore important |
| 00:44:22 |
The Drive was invented following |
| 00:44:27 |
often used to break the ice at parties |
| 00:44:29 |
by making all the molecules |
| 00:44:32 |
leap one foot to the left |
| 00:44:35 |
in accordance with |
| 00:44:37 |
Many physicists said they |
| 00:44:41 |
partly because it debased science, |
| 00:44:43 |
but mostly because they didn't get |
| 00:44:57 |
Wow, is this gonna happen |
| 00:45:01 |
Very probably, yes. |
| 00:45:03 |
Ah, I think |
| 00:45:06 |
In the trashcan, ape-man. |
| 00:45:09 |
Aw, come on! |
| 00:45:12 |
We have normality. |
| 00:45:14 |
Did it work? Are we there? |
| 00:45:18 |
Yeah. We're here. Magrathea! |
| 00:45:22 |
I don't think so. Eddie... |
| 00:45:24 |
- Ow! |
| 00:45:26 |
I'm checking for you. |
| 00:45:28 |
Did you just pluck |
| 00:45:34 |
Thank you for waiting. |
| 00:45:36 |
but this is not Magrathea. |
| 00:45:39 |
We are currently in orbit around |
| 00:45:43 |
Humma Kavula! |
| 00:45:46 |
Magrathea's gonna have to wait. |
| 00:45:52 |
Humma Kavula! |
| 00:45:59 |
In the beginning, |
| 00:46:04 |
This made a lot of people very angry, |
| 00:46:11 |
Many races believed it was created |
| 00:46:14 |
though the Jatravartid people |
| 00:46:17 |
firmly believe that the entire universe |
| 00:46:22 |
called the Great Green Arkleseizure. |
| 00:46:25 |
Humma Kavula! |
| 00:46:26 |
The Jatravartids, |
| 00:46:29 |
of the time they called the |
| 00:46:32 |
were small blue creatures |
| 00:46:36 |
They were unique in being |
| 00:46:39 |
to have invented |
| 00:46:44 |
Mr. President! |
| 00:46:46 |
Hey, all right. How you doin'? |
| 00:46:48 |
Hey, what have we here? I love it! |
| 00:46:56 |
Hey, I love you. Fantastic! |
| 00:46:58 |
You guys related? Don't go changing. |
| 00:47:01 |
Arthur, I want a drink. |
| 00:47:03 |
I think I've been here before. |
| 00:47:11 |
Ixxie! |
| 00:47:13 |
- I've been here before. |
| 00:47:16 |
Come on. |
| 00:47:18 |
Tricia! Tricia, I... |
| 00:47:49 |
Hello, Humma. |
| 00:47:53 |
- Join us. Sit down. |
| 00:47:57 |
The handkerchief is coming. |
| 00:47:59 |
Let us pray the Almighty will exhale |
| 00:48:07 |
So that's Humma Kavula. |
| 00:48:11 |
We lift our noses, clogged and unblown, |
| 00:48:16 |
in reverence to you. |
| 00:48:20 |
Send the handkerchief, O Blessed One, |
| 00:48:25 |
We ask this and all things |
| 00:48:39 |
Bless you. |
| 00:48:42 |
We goin' in here? |
| 00:48:44 |
All right, I like it. It's big, |
| 00:48:48 |
Zaphod Beeblebrox, |
| 00:48:52 |
What brings you to our humble planet? |
| 00:48:54 |
Oh, I think you know |
| 00:48:57 |
No, I don't think I do. |
| 00:48:59 |
I think you think you don't. |
| 00:49:05 |
Eloquent as always. |
| 00:49:07 |
Your ability to articulate |
| 00:49:11 |
That's funny. |
| 00:49:14 |
when you were my opponent |
| 00:49:17 |
you said I was stupid. |
| 00:49:38 |
The election is ancient history, |
| 00:49:45 |
...if memory serves, you won, |
| 00:49:47 |
proving that good looks |
| 00:49:51 |
over brilliance |
| 00:50:00 |
And, incidentally, you are stupid. |
| 00:50:03 |
Excuse me, Mr. Humma, sir. |
| 00:50:06 |
Uh, I just want to say, there's been |
| 00:50:10 |
'cause, actually, he's not with us. |
| 00:50:12 |
We came to worship you. |
| 00:50:15 |
He grew, didn't he. He's not that tall. |
| 00:50:18 |
You didn't come half-way across the |
| 00:50:25 |
Why are you here? |
| 00:50:29 |
Of course not, |
| 00:50:31 |
I've been stranded on a strange planet |
| 00:50:37 |
You look great. You're doing well. |
| 00:50:40 |
You've grown, obviously. |
| 00:50:42 |
- Aggh! Oomph! |
| 00:50:46 |
We were trying to get to Magrathea |
| 00:50:51 |
How very, very improbable. |
| 00:51:02 |
I kept a few souvenirs |
| 00:51:05 |
Ah, the heady days of space piracy. |
| 00:51:09 |
But... even an Infinite Improbability |
| 00:51:16 |
Which I happen to have. |
| 00:51:18 |
No, no, no. |
| 00:51:20 |
You don't get something |
| 00:51:23 |
You must bring me something in return. |
| 00:51:25 |
- Wh... What? |
| 00:51:28 |
- A gun? |
| 00:51:30 |
Designed by the greatest computer |
| 00:51:34 |
But the only way to find it |
| 00:51:37 |
Fine. I'll get your gun. |
| 00:51:41 |
And what will you give me |
| 00:51:45 |
My word as President. |
| 00:51:49 |
No. I need a hostage. |
| 00:51:55 |
Only... what does |
| 00:52:05 |
Come on. |
| 00:52:08 |
Oh, no! |
| 00:52:13 |
Hey, take it easy now. |
| 00:52:16 |
No, stop it. |
| 00:52:19 |
Two heads are better than one. |
| 00:52:22 |
You need me! |
| 00:52:26 |
Come back! Come back! |
| 00:52:33 |
Come back! |
| 00:52:36 |
I thought I alone |
| 00:52:39 |
a narcissistic moron, |
| 00:52:42 |
What about you? |
| 00:52:45 |
"We're not with him. We just came |
| 00:52:50 |
Where the hell is Ford? |
| 00:52:56 |
By the left, march. |
| 00:53:02 |
Mr. President, |
| 00:53:07 |
Fire upon the kidnapper! |
| 00:53:10 |
Hey, come on! |
| 00:53:12 |
The President is the kidnapper. |
| 00:53:15 |
Bang! Bang! |
| 00:53:16 |
It's locked! |
| 00:53:21 |
Thank you, darling. I'll be in touch. |
| 00:53:29 |
Come on, Zaphod. |
| 00:53:35 |
- Hey, what did I miss? |
| 00:53:38 |
Field research. So they found |
| 00:53:41 |
They're shooting at us! |
| 00:53:44 |
- I have an idea. |
| 00:53:48 |
What? He's the one they want. |
| 00:53:50 |
You can't go out there. |
| 00:53:54 |
- Back off! |
| 00:53:58 |
I have the President |
| 00:54:02 |
- Could that actually kill him? |
| 00:54:06 |
- It's an aerosol can. |
| 00:54:08 |
Okay, frightened now, |
| 00:54:12 |
- Hi, little guy. |
| 00:54:16 |
- Zaphod, no, come on! |
| 00:54:20 |
- Arthur! |
| 00:54:22 |
- Arthur! |
| 00:54:34 |
Arthur! |
| 00:54:40 |
Resistance is useless! |
| 00:54:53 |
Bring her to Vogsphere |
| 00:54:57 |
Where's the circus? |
| 00:55:00 |
They got her and it's my fault. |
| 00:55:03 |
Let's go! |
| 00:55:06 |
Whoo! Computer, take us to Magrathea! |
| 00:55:10 |
What? No, no, no. |
| 00:55:12 |
- Who? |
| 00:55:14 |
They've got Trillian, |
| 00:55:18 |
Right, you're coming out! |
| 00:55:21 |
Computer, we don't want to go to |
| 00:55:25 |
I'd love to, but my |
| 00:55:29 |
Oh, come on! |
| 00:55:30 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:55:32 |
What you doing on this ship? |
| 00:55:34 |
- Ford? |
| 00:55:36 |
I've been talking |
| 00:55:39 |
And? |
| 00:55:40 |
It hates me. |
| 00:55:42 |
No, uh-uh. Eddie, computer, |
| 00:55:45 |
is there another way |
| 00:55:49 |
Activating Emergency Escape |
| 00:55:53 |
Ow! |
| 00:55:56 |
Unbelievable! |
| 00:55:57 |
I'm in. I'm in. |
| 00:56:02 |
We'll press this. |
| 00:56:03 |
Oh, no, no, no, no. |
| 00:56:06 |
- This button. |
| 00:56:09 |
Good man, good man, good man. |
| 00:56:12 |
- Okay, we're wobbling... |
| 00:56:16 |
Get him off me! I'll kill him! |
| 00:56:18 |
- Okay, Ford, there's a... |
| 00:56:21 |
No, that's worse, that's worse. |
| 00:56:23 |
- Do what... I don't need that. |
| 00:56:26 |
Stop the rocking. |
| 00:56:29 |
I have a million ideas. |
| 00:56:33 |
Thanks, Marv. |
| 00:56:46 |
Ooh, ooh. Eee. Ooh, ooh. |
| 00:56:56 |
Whoo! |
| 00:57:01 |
Whee! Whee! |
| 00:57:13 |
Yeah! Yeah! |
| 00:57:19 |
- Magrathea! |
| 00:57:24 |
- Yes, it is. It's Magrathea! |
| 00:57:27 |
- Yeah, Magrathea. I know it. |
| 00:57:30 |
- There is no Magrathea. |
| 00:57:35 |
- What are you doing? |
| 00:57:37 |
They have these |
| 00:57:40 |
They use them when |
| 00:57:43 |
- What is it? |
| 00:57:50 |
There you go. |
| 00:57:56 |
Should give him some zest |
| 00:58:00 |
Now I'm feeling |
| 00:58:25 |
I checked the Guide for how |
| 00:58:29 |
It said don't. |
| 00:58:32 |
Well, I kind of had this idea |
| 00:58:37 |
- Did anyone see that? |
| 00:58:39 |
- What was it? |
| 00:58:41 |
Nothing, it's, uh, nothing. |
| 00:58:45 |
Okay, right. Now, everyone just stop |
| 00:58:50 |
There's... definitely |
| 00:58:55 |
Just... just watch. |
| 00:58:59 |
Just watch. |
| 00:59:04 |
Okay, I think we... |
| 00:59:07 |
- Oooh! |
| 00:59:11 |
Yeah, what was that? |
| 00:59:13 |
I thi... |
| 00:59:16 |
Zaphod, what do you think? |
| 00:59:22 |
I think... Ow! Zarquon! |
| 00:59:26 |
I'd make a suggestion, |
| 00:59:30 |
- No one ever does. |
| 00:59:33 |
Ooh, ooh, ooh, Ford! |
| 00:59:45 |
Okay, don't think. |
| 00:59:48 |
Nobody think. No ideas. |
| 00:59:50 |
No theories. No nothing. |
| 00:59:56 |
Ow! |
| 00:59:59 |
This is crazy. |
| 01:00:01 |
- We need an idea to save her. |
| 01:00:06 |
- Ah! Run! |
| 01:00:33 |
Ooh! Ah! |
| 01:00:38 |
You're supposed to stop. |
| 01:00:49 |
Okay, so I'm not thinking. |
| 01:00:56 |
Okay, this isn't an idea |
| 01:00:59 |
but, Marvin, can you give me a hand? |
| 01:01:06 |
Okay, where is she?! |
| 01:01:11 |
Who, the director of robot arm repair? |
| 01:01:15 |
Tricia Yggarstuk McMillanus |
| 01:01:20 |
No, Tricia Marie McMillan of Earth. |
| 01:01:23 |
Oh. Right. |
| 01:01:30 |
Sorry, no record of Earth. |
| 01:01:35 |
Galactic sector |
| 01:01:39 |
- Oh, yes. |
| 01:01:44 |
She's skinny, and she's pretty, |
| 01:01:47 |
- Mmmm. |
| 01:01:51 |
Oh. Um, "destroyed. " |
| 01:01:55 |
Um, do you have |
| 01:01:58 |
- Destroyed? That's impossible. |
| 01:02:02 |
Says it was destroyed to make way |
| 01:02:13 |
Who in their right mind |
| 01:02:20 |
- He said the gray building, right? |
| 01:02:24 |
"Give me a hand. " Ha-ha, very funny. |
| 01:02:27 |
How am I supposed to drive this pod |
| 01:02:36 |
Go and fill that in. |
| 01:02:38 |
Then, make sure, when you fill in |
| 01:02:42 |
Leave this to me. I'm British. |
| 01:02:47 |
If you'd fill that form in for me, |
| 01:02:51 |
and return it as soon as possible. |
| 01:02:53 |
- Writing implements to your left... |
| 01:02:58 |
Presidents don't have power. Their job |
| 01:03:05 |
Hey, how you doin'? |
| 01:03:07 |
Hey, it's me, your President! |
| 01:03:12 |
All right. I know that sponge. |
| 01:03:15 |
- Next! |
| 01:03:17 |
How you doin', Pinhead? |
| 01:03:21 |
I love kabuki. Look at that. |
| 01:03:23 |
Out the way. |
| 01:03:27 |
Give us a kiss! |
| 01:03:30 |
Hi, I've come about |
| 01:03:33 |
Prisoner release form. |
| 01:03:37 |
Oh, wha...? |
| 01:03:38 |
I don't believe you. |
| 01:03:41 |
These are the orders. |
| 01:03:48 |
"Love and kisses"?! |
| 01:03:49 |
Mm. Now, according |
| 01:03:54 |
the punishment for |
| 01:03:59 |
is to be fed to |
| 01:04:04 |
Good day. |
| 01:04:06 |
Ow, get off of me! |
| 01:04:09 |
Ow! What the hell is that? |
| 01:04:12 |
Ow, no, wait, wait! There's been |
| 01:04:20 |
- Tick all the boxes on the right. |
| 01:04:25 |
Not that one! |
| 01:04:28 |
What to do if you find yourself |
| 01:04:32 |
Consider how lucky you are |
| 01:04:36 |
Alternatively, if life |
| 01:04:40 |
which, given your current circumstances |
| 01:04:43 |
consider how lucky you are that |
| 01:04:51 |
Right, there we go. |
| 01:04:54 |
Oh, kidnapping the President. |
| 01:04:56 |
Oh, no, she's not eligible |
| 01:05:01 |
Okay. Right. |
| 01:05:04 |
- Oh! |
| 01:05:06 |
He says the kidnapping business |
| 01:05:10 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:05:12 |
She meant nothing by it. |
| 01:05:15 |
But this isn't a presidential |
| 01:05:20 |
Those are blue. |
| 01:05:23 |
- I'll stay here. |
| 01:05:32 |
Oh, he's hungry today. |
| 01:05:37 |
That's blue. Right. |
| 01:05:41 |
- I'm not a journalist. |
| 01:05:44 |
Okay, this is, uh, |
| 01:05:47 |
Tricia McMillan. Mm. Okay. |
| 01:05:53 |
Sir, it's a release form. |
| 01:05:57 |
Thank you. |
| 01:05:59 |
She's free to go. |
| 01:06:02 |
Release her. |
| 01:06:07 |
Zaphod's here. |
| 01:06:10 |
Let's just go and get him. |
| 01:06:21 |
Who are we waiting for again? |
| 01:06:27 |
No, I'm serious. |
| 01:06:31 |
Tricia! |
| 01:06:37 |
- Tricia. |
| 01:06:39 |
- Hey, come on. |
| 01:06:42 |
You signed the order to destroy Earth. |
| 01:06:44 |
- He did? |
| 01:06:46 |
Yes. "Love and kisses, Zaphod"? |
| 01:06:51 |
Honey, I'm President of the Galaxy. |
| 01:06:58 |
An entire planet, my home, |
| 01:07:00 |
destroyed because you thought |
| 01:07:03 |
- They framed me! |
| 01:07:06 |
- Trillian. |
| 01:07:10 |
- He threatened me. |
| 01:07:14 |
Oh, a backbone? What about coming here |
| 01:07:20 |
Stupid! |
| 01:07:27 |
- Got your arm. |
| 01:07:29 |
Right, then, all those lucky enough |
| 01:07:49 |
Oh, the President tests my patience. |
| 01:07:53 |
This time I shall pursue him myself. |
| 01:07:58 |
Fantastic. At last. |
| 01:08:06 |
Oh. That's one hour for lunch, |
| 01:08:11 |
I think I'll have soup today. |
| 01:08:15 |
The Encyclopedia Galactica, |
| 01:08:18 |
states that it is |
| 01:08:22 |
The Hitchhiker's Guide |
| 01:08:26 |
"Avoid, if at all possible. " |
| 01:08:29 |
Unfortunately, |
| 01:08:32 |
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. |
| 01:08:35 |
- Oh, I'm so sorry. |
| 01:08:39 |
I... I didn't... |
| 01:08:41 |
Um, look, uh... |
| 01:08:46 |
Trillian, I just wanted to say, |
| 01:08:49 |
I should've told you, and I understand |
| 01:08:54 |
Um, for what it's worth, |
| 01:09:00 |
- Can you hand me a towel? |
| 01:09:06 |
Thank you. |
| 01:09:08 |
Actually, |
| 01:09:12 |
...if I'd said yes to you |
| 01:09:17 |
then neither of us would be here now. |
| 01:09:21 |
I just thought that might |
| 01:09:28 |
It doesn't matter. |
| 01:09:53 |
All right, computer, take us to... |
| 01:09:59 |
Okay, I'm gonna get you |
| 01:10:02 |
All right. |
| 01:10:08 |
Engaging Improbability Drive. |
| 01:10:11 |
No, Zaphod, no. |
| 01:10:15 |
Magrathean coordinates accepted. |
| 01:10:25 |
It blows my circuits to tell you |
| 01:10:28 |
that we're in orbit, |
| 01:10:31 |
around the legendary planet |
| 01:10:35 |
Magrathea! Magrathea! |
| 01:10:39 |
Magrathea! |
| 01:10:43 |
Unbelievable. |
| 01:10:49 |
Incredible. |
| 01:10:52 |
It's even worse |
| 01:10:55 |
Greetings. This is a recorded |
| 01:11:00 |
The Commercial Council of Magrathea |
| 01:11:03 |
but regrets that the entire planet |
| 01:11:07 |
If you'd like to leave your name |
| 01:11:11 |
kindly do so at the tone. |
| 01:11:14 |
- How can a planet be closed? |
| 01:11:18 |
Okay, computer, keep going. |
| 01:11:21 |
I'd be happy to. |
| 01:11:25 |
It is gratifying |
| 01:11:27 |
for our planet continues unabated. |
| 01:11:30 |
As a token of our appreciation, |
| 01:11:32 |
we hope you will enjoy |
| 01:11:36 |
we've just sent |
| 01:11:40 |
To ensure on-going quality of service, |
| 01:11:42 |
your death may be monitored |
| 01:11:46 |
I'm delighted to tell you |
| 01:11:49 |
there are two nuclear missiles |
| 01:11:51 |
If you don't mind, |
| 01:11:59 |
Something's jamming |
| 01:12:02 |
Impact minus 45 seconds. |
| 01:12:08 |
Computer, do something! |
| 01:12:10 |
Sure. Handing over |
| 01:12:25 |
I need some help. |
| 01:12:28 |
I can't do this without my third arm. |
| 01:12:33 |
Arthur, grab my hand! |
| 01:12:46 |
- Did we lose 'em? |
| 01:12:53 |
- Why don't I just press this? |
| 01:12:57 |
- What will happen? |
| 01:12:59 |
Don't do it! We're here. |
| 01:13:06 |
- Sod it all. |
| 01:13:12 |
Wow. Where are we? |
| 01:13:17 |
Exactly where we were. |
| 01:13:22 |
And the missiles? |
| 01:13:25 |
Apparently, they've turned... |
| 01:13:31 |
And a very surprised-looking whale. |
| 01:13:35 |
And an improbability factor |
| 01:13:43 |
We have norm... normality. |
| 01:13:46 |
Normality, right. |
| 01:13:48 |
We can talk about normality |
| 01:13:52 |
- What is normal? |
| 01:13:56 |
What are cows? |
| 01:13:58 |
A proper cup of tea |
| 01:14:01 |
It is important to note that |
| 01:14:06 |
a sperm whale had been |
| 01:14:09 |
several miles above |
| 01:14:13 |
Since this is not a tenable |
| 01:14:16 |
this innocent creature had very little |
| 01:14:21 |
This is what it thought as it fell: |
| 01:14:24 |
Ah, whoa, what's happening? Who am I? |
| 01:14:27 |
Why am I here? What's my purpose? |
| 01:14:31 |
Okay, Okay, calm down, get a grip now. |
| 01:14:33 |
Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. |
| 01:14:37 |
I better start finding names for things. |
| 01:14:42 |
What's this roaring sound whooshing past |
| 01:14:46 |
Wind. Is that a good name? That'll do. |
| 01:14:49 |
Yay, this is really exciting. |
| 01:14:52 |
Or is it the wind? |
| 01:14:55 |
And what's this thing coming towards me |
| 01:14:59 |
It needs a big wide-sounding name |
| 01:15:04 |
That's it, ground. I wonder if it will |
| 01:15:11 |
The only thing that went through |
| 01:15:15 |
as it fell was, "Oh, no, not again!" |
| 01:15:20 |
Many have speculated that if we knew |
| 01:15:26 |
we should know a lot more about the |
| 01:15:35 |
What are those things? |
| 01:15:38 |
They're portals |
| 01:15:41 |
Right. I don't suppose this |
| 01:15:51 |
Ah, this is the one. |
| 01:15:54 |
This will all end in tears, |
| 01:16:01 |
Right here. |
| 01:16:03 |
Hey! Whoa! |
| 01:16:08 |
Okay, in we go! |
| 01:16:10 |
We can't just step into that... that! |
| 01:16:15 |
If we pick the wrong one, |
| 01:16:18 |
we just... we come back, |
| 01:16:21 |
What? Yeah, it's a big biggie, |
| 01:16:25 |
What if it rips us all into |
| 01:16:30 |
This is the right one. I have a hunch. |
| 01:16:34 |
- Ford! |
| 01:16:38 |
Arthur, I say we go. |
| 01:16:41 |
Go with the hunch of a man |
| 01:16:47 |
This is suicide! |
| 01:16:48 |
- I think I resent that. |
| 01:16:52 |
I'm getting hostility |
| 01:16:55 |
- Arthur! |
| 01:17:00 |
- Trillian! |
| 01:17:09 |
She's gone! |
| 01:17:12 |
Arthur, don't panic! |
| 01:17:17 |
- Ford! |
| 01:17:22 |
Whoo! |
| 01:17:34 |
Come on. |
| 01:17:36 |
Idiot! Come on, come on, |
| 01:17:46 |
Ahhh! |
| 01:18:03 |
No, no, no, don't leave. |
| 01:18:07 |
I told you this would end in tears. |
| 01:18:10 |
Did you? Did you? |
| 01:18:20 |
Geronimo! |
| 01:18:23 |
Ooomph! |
| 01:18:26 |
Far out! Far out! Ha-ha! |
| 01:18:31 |
This is it. This is it! |
| 01:18:38 |
So, this is how |
| 01:18:45 |
Me, alone on a dead planet, |
| 01:18:50 |
You think you've got problems. |
| 01:18:52 |
What if you are |
| 01:18:55 |
Excuse me. |
| 01:18:56 |
- Aaaaagghhh! |
| 01:19:03 |
- Who are you? |
| 01:19:08 |
Uh, you must come with me. |
| 01:19:11 |
- Get away. |
| 01:19:16 |
Um, you... you must come |
| 01:19:19 |
- Late? What for? |
| 01:19:22 |
No, no. What's... |
| 01:19:28 |
- Dent. Arthur Dent. |
| 01:19:31 |
late as in |
| 01:19:34 |
It's a sort of threat, do you see? No. |
| 01:19:38 |
- No. |
| 01:19:41 |
- You can trust me. |
| 01:19:45 |
Okay, my name is, um... |
| 01:19:49 |
...my name is... is... |
| 01:19:55 |
I... I... I said it wasn't important. |
| 01:20:00 |
Well... so my friends are safe? |
| 01:20:05 |
Let me show you. |
| 01:20:06 |
I could calculate your chances |
| 01:20:37 |
Did you know we built planets? |
| 01:20:40 |
Oh, yes, fascinating trade. |
| 01:20:44 |
Doing the, um... doing the coastlines |
| 01:20:49 |
We used to have endless fun doing the |
| 01:20:54 |
But then the galactic economy collapsed, |
| 01:21:00 |
are a... are a bit of |
| 01:21:05 |
Come with me because there's |
| 01:21:09 |
Best laid plans of mice, you know. |
| 01:21:11 |
- And men. |
| 01:21:15 |
Best laid plans of mice and men. |
| 01:21:17 |
Yes, well, I don't think men |
| 01:22:02 |
Um, I must warn you, |
| 01:22:05 |
we're going to pass through, |
| 01:22:08 |
- Huh? |
| 01:22:11 |
It scares the willies out of me. |
| 01:22:15 |
Aghh! Aghh! |
| 01:22:43 |
Ha, ha, ha. |
| 01:23:10 |
Okay. |
| 01:23:12 |
All right. All right. |
| 01:23:15 |
Yeah, this is it. |
| 01:23:21 |
This is it. |
| 01:23:24 |
O great Deep Thought! |
| 01:23:28 |
We have traveled long... |
| 01:23:32 |
...and far. |
| 01:23:34 |
Have you calculated |
| 01:23:39 |
the universe and everything? |
| 01:23:42 |
No. |
| 01:23:43 |
- What? |
| 01:23:46 |
Oh. |
| 01:23:47 |
I designed |
| 01:23:51 |
Oh, right, I forgot. Is it here? |
| 01:23:53 |
No, it's not here. It's another world. |
| 01:23:56 |
It's on another world. |
| 01:23:59 |
It is another world, stupid. |
| 01:24:02 |
Or it was until the Vogons destroyed it |
| 01:24:05 |
to make way |
| 01:24:07 |
Well... Okay. |
| 01:24:10 |
You sure you don't have the question, |
| 01:24:12 |
or a way to, you know, |
| 01:24:15 |
'Cause I think I've done |
| 01:24:17 |
Oh, shh, shh. The show's back on. |
| 01:24:26 |
Well, I don't wanna bother you, |
| 01:24:30 |
Great. I'm gonna go and find something |
| 01:24:35 |
Zaphod, Zaphod, |
| 01:24:38 |
- Gun? |
| 01:24:41 |
- You gave him your head. |
| 01:24:45 |
- Okay. |
| 01:24:47 |
O Deep Thought, |
| 01:25:07 |
- There you are. |
| 01:25:09 |
Look familiar? |
| 01:25:11 |
So it wasn't destroyed? |
| 01:25:15 |
Actually, it was. |
| 01:25:22 |
So you... you made the Earth? |
| 01:25:24 |
Not me alone, |
| 01:25:28 |
Ever heard of a place, |
| 01:25:31 |
That was one of mine. |
| 01:25:42 |
Oh, hoo! |
| 01:25:45 |
All right, Frank? |
| 01:25:49 |
Ah-ha. They... |
| 01:26:02 |
Zaphod. |
| 01:26:03 |
Here, it's... |
| 01:26:08 |
...it's just like Humma said. |
| 01:26:11 |
- Now you can go get your head back. |
| 01:26:14 |
It's been nice knowing you, |
| 01:26:16 |
No! |
| 01:26:17 |
- Whoa! |
| 01:26:20 |
H... H... Hey, man. You know, |
| 01:26:25 |
You go through all you have, |
| 01:26:28 |
which means no money or fame, |
| 01:26:31 |
The Point-of-View Gun, |
| 01:26:34 |
does precisely what its name suggests. |
| 01:26:36 |
Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic. |
| 01:26:40 |
If you point it at |
| 01:26:43 |
they instantly see things |
| 01:26:46 |
Give me that thing. |
| 01:26:48 |
It was designed by Deep Thought, |
| 01:26:50 |
but commissioned by a consortium |
| 01:26:54 |
who, after arguments |
| 01:26:56 |
were sick of ending |
| 01:27:00 |
"You just don't get it, do you?" |
| 01:27:03 |
Uh, uh, and you're right, |
| 01:27:07 |
because life goes on, you know, |
| 01:27:09 |
and I should just go on with it. |
| 01:27:12 |
Shoot him again. |
| 01:27:15 |
Whoa. |
| 01:27:18 |
Hitchhiking's good. Towels are good too. |
| 01:27:22 |
- Say what? |
| 01:27:25 |
What's goin'...? |
| 01:27:27 |
I can see why Humma Kavula |
| 01:27:31 |
- We better get back. Arthur's waiting. |
| 01:27:34 |
I do. Especially since we're somewhat |
| 01:27:39 |
Why so edgy, baby doll? Relax. |
| 01:27:41 |
You wanna know why I'm edgy? |
| 01:27:44 |
Argh. Of course you're edgy. |
| 01:27:48 |
and you've been tooling around |
| 01:27:52 |
Huh? |
| 01:27:53 |
Ugh! You actually wanted |
| 01:27:56 |
because you always wondered |
| 01:27:59 |
and now you're crushed |
| 01:28:03 |
Hey, fantastic. Psychedelic. |
| 01:28:09 |
You've got no home, no family, |
| 01:28:13 |
another in a long line of men |
| 01:28:17 |
Huh? That's not true. |
| 01:28:24 |
And you're worried you might have blown |
| 01:28:30 |
Hey, whoops. |
| 01:28:34 |
Oh, baby doll. |
| 01:28:37 |
Give me that thing. |
| 01:28:42 |
It won't affect me. |
| 01:28:57 |
It's okay. |
| 01:29:03 |
Voilà! |
| 01:29:10 |
Earthman, you must realize |
| 01:29:12 |
that the planet you lived on was |
| 01:29:22 |
When you say mice, do you mean |
| 01:29:25 |
with whiskers, ears, cheese? |
| 01:29:27 |
Yeah, but they're protrusions into our |
| 01:29:32 |
I don't know this cheese |
| 01:29:36 |
but they were there on Earth |
| 01:29:40 |
I see where you've become confused now. |
| 01:29:45 |
Ah, no, well, yeah, no. |
| 01:29:49 |
but you were actually |
| 01:29:54 |
Actually, this explains a lot. |
| 01:29:57 |
All my life, |
| 01:30:00 |
there's something big and sinister |
| 01:30:03 |
No, that's normal paranoia. |
| 01:30:10 |
Perhaps I'm old and tired, |
| 01:30:13 |
what's actually going on |
| 01:30:16 |
that the only thing to do is say hang |
| 01:30:20 |
I'd much rather be happy |
| 01:30:23 |
- And are you? |
| 01:30:25 |
That's where |
| 01:30:39 |
Here you are then. |
| 01:30:56 |
Is this...? |
| 01:31:11 |
It's, um... It's all there. |
| 01:31:15 |
You know, it all works. |
| 01:31:17 |
Welcome home. |
| 01:31:38 |
- Hey! |
| 01:31:41 |
- There you are! |
| 01:31:43 |
What are you doing? |
| 01:31:46 |
Is that tea? |
| 01:31:48 |
- First, our hosts attacked us. |
| 01:31:52 |
But then they made up for it |
| 01:31:56 |
...this amazing meal. |
| 01:31:59 |
It's so... Everything's right. |
| 01:32:04 |
Oh, come on, that's lovely. |
| 01:32:07 |
We're glad you like it, Earth creature. |
| 01:32:13 |
The, um, talking... talking mice. Cool. |
| 01:32:18 |
- Sit, Earthman. |
| 01:32:24 |
- Please, drink. |
| 01:32:27 |
- Uh, is there anything else? |
| 01:32:31 |
Um, good, I'll be outside, so... |
| 01:32:35 |
You were right. |
| 01:32:37 |
- Please, drink. |
| 01:32:40 |
He was right. |
| 01:32:42 |
Now, to business. |
| 01:32:43 |
To business! |
| 01:32:45 |
Eat! |
| 01:32:47 |
- Shh. |
| 01:32:49 |
We've spent a lot of time |
| 01:32:51 |
looking for this ultimate question. |
| 01:32:53 |
Only to have it blow up |
| 01:32:57 |
Which is why you're here. |
| 01:33:01 |
to do several 5-D TV chat shows. |
| 01:33:03 |
But here's the point. |
| 01:33:05 |
We need the ultimate question, |
| 01:33:09 |
- Of course. |
| 01:33:11 |
Now all we need |
| 01:33:14 |
- Which happens to be your brain. |
| 01:33:16 |
More tea? |
| 01:33:18 |
Sorry, did you just say |
| 01:33:20 |
Yes, to complete the program. |
| 01:33:26 |
You can't have my brain. I'm using it. |
| 01:33:29 |
- Hardly. |
| 01:33:38 |
Zaphod! Trillian! |
| 01:33:41 |
Ford. |
| 01:33:43 |
What was in that food? |
| 01:33:44 |
What was in my tea? |
| 01:33:48 |
Don't worry. You won't feel a thing. |
| 01:33:54 |
Just wait a sodding minute. |
| 01:33:56 |
You want a question |
| 01:33:59 |
What about, what's 6x7? |
| 01:34:01 |
Or, um, uh, how many Vogons |
| 01:34:05 |
Here's one: How many roads |
| 01:34:10 |
Hey, that's not bad. |
| 01:34:12 |
Fine. Fine, take it, 'cause my head |
| 01:34:18 |
and no answer to any one of them |
| 01:34:21 |
has ever brought me |
| 01:34:24 |
Except for one. |
| 01:34:26 |
The one. The only question |
| 01:34:29 |
Is she the one? |
| 01:34:32 |
The answer bloody well isn't 42, |
| 01:34:35 |
Undoubtedly, unequivocally, |
| 01:34:41 |
And for one week, |
| 01:34:44 |
one week in my sad little... |
| 01:34:51 |
...it made me happy. |
| 01:34:55 |
That's a good answer. |
| 01:34:57 |
We don't want to be happy. |
| 01:35:00 |
- What's this "Is she the one" tripe? |
| 01:35:04 |
No, don't take the brain! |
| 01:35:16 |
It wasn't me! |
| 01:35:18 |
I'm famous. |
| 01:35:20 |
Shoot him, quickly, shoot him! |
| 01:35:22 |
Oh, bollocks! |
| 01:35:24 |
Agghh! |
| 01:35:33 |
I'm gonna be sick. |
| 01:35:37 |
Belgium. |
| 01:35:48 |
Follow me. |
| 01:35:50 |
Left, right, left, right. |
| 01:35:52 |
Attention! |
| 01:35:58 |
Thanks a lot |
| 01:36:01 |
Though I can't say I blame you. |
| 01:36:04 |
Mr. President, |
| 01:36:07 |
Thanks, man. I appreciate it. |
| 01:36:10 |
Fire! |
| 01:36:13 |
No! No! |
| 01:36:18 |
What's all the fuss about? |
| 01:36:20 |
Vogons are the worst marksmen |
| 01:36:23 |
- For God's sake, stop! |
| 01:36:35 |
Now I've got a headache... |
| 01:36:47 |
Marvin! |
| 01:36:49 |
Oh, no. |
| 01:36:51 |
He's got a towel, run away! |
| 01:36:58 |
I'm gonna get us outta here. |
| 01:37:05 |
We need that gun. |
| 01:37:08 |
Come on. Get this ship started. |
| 01:37:12 |
Come on. Oh, fire, fire! |
| 01:37:14 |
Fire, fire! |
| 01:37:17 |
Oo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo! |
| 01:37:20 |
He's locked it |
| 01:37:23 |
We'll have to go the other way. |
| 01:37:25 |
Come on, let's go! |
| 01:37:32 |
Stop! |
| 01:37:37 |
Oh, no! |
| 01:37:41 |
Stop it! Stop it! |
| 01:38:04 |
Oh, I feel so depressed. |
| 01:38:09 |
I can't face another day. |
| 01:38:16 |
What's the point? |
| 01:38:26 |
- You all right? |
| 01:38:34 |
Sorry about your spaceship, Arthur. |
| 01:38:42 |
Marvin, you saved our lives. |
| 01:38:44 |
I know. Wretched, isn't it? |
| 01:38:53 |
You got to ask yourself, |
| 01:38:56 |
Take it away. |
| 01:39:07 |
You could do all of that, but it's not |
| 01:39:12 |
I... I... I've just been informed |
| 01:39:16 |
that since we're so near completion, |
| 01:39:18 |
we're gonna go ahead and finish Earth. |
| 01:39:21 |
Oh. |
| 01:39:22 |
We, well, we can put it back exactly |
| 01:39:27 |
Unless there's, um... |
| 01:39:30 |
...there's, you know, |
| 01:39:36 |
Something you think |
| 01:39:42 |
Yeah. Me. |
| 01:39:46 |
Oh! Um, hello? |
| 01:39:49 |
No, as is. Yep, leave it. Yep. |
| 01:39:54 |
Let's go somewhere. |
| 01:39:56 |
Definitely. Where did you have in mind? |
| 01:39:59 |
I know this great restaurant |
| 01:40:02 |
I am a little peckish. |
| 01:40:07 |
I need to go to Humma's. |
| 01:40:10 |
- I think. I'm so confused. |
| 01:40:16 |
All right, let's trip the |
| 01:40:19 |
Come on. |
| 01:40:21 |
- You got your towel? |
| 01:40:25 |
- Only always. |
| 01:40:29 |
I wouldn't want to go |
| 01:40:38 |
Okay. Hold tight. |
| 01:40:44 |
Stand by for commencement |
| 01:40:50 |
All right! Whoo! |
| 01:41:36 |
Not that |
| 01:41:38 |
but the restaurant |
| 01:43:45 |
Yeah! |
| 01:43:57 |
Play it! |
| 01:44:57 |
It is, of course, well known |
| 01:45:01 |
But the full scale of the problem |
| 01:45:04 |
For instance, at the very moment |
| 01:45:08 |
"I wouldn't want to go anywhere |
| 01:45:12 |
a freak wormhole opened up in |
| 01:45:16 |
and carried his words far, |
| 01:45:20 |
across almost infinite reaches of space, |
| 01:45:24 |
where strange and warlike beings |
| 01:45:28 |
of frightful interstellar battle. |
| 01:45:30 |
The two opposing leaders, resplendent |
| 01:45:35 |
were meeting for the last time, |
| 01:45:37 |
when a dreadful silence fell. |
| 01:45:40 |
And at that very moment, |
| 01:45:42 |
the words "I wouldn't want to go |
| 01:45:46 |
drifted across the conference table. |
| 01:45:49 |
Unfortunately, in their native tongue, |
| 01:45:52 |
this was the most appalling |
| 01:45:55 |
So the opposing battle fleets |
| 01:45:57 |
decided to settle |
| 01:45:59 |
in order to launch |
| 01:46:03 |
now positively identified |
| 01:46:07 |
For thousands of years, |
| 01:46:11 |
the empty wastes of space and finally |
| 01:46:16 |
where, due to |
| 01:46:20 |
the entire battle fleet was |
| 01:46:25 |
Those who study the complex |
| 01:46:29 |
in the history of the universe, |
| 01:46:31 |
say that this sort of thing |
| 01:46:45 |
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