Home Alone

en
00:01:25 Where's my suitcase?
00:01:29 Who stole the hair dryer?
00:01:31 Miss. Young lady!
00:01:33 Excuse me. Girls!
00:01:36 Hey, little fella. Hey!
00:01:38 Excuse me, girls. Girls!
00:01:41 Hey, big fella!
00:01:43 Help me make the beds
00:01:45 Come on down here!
00:01:46 Hey, son!
00:01:49 Big fella.
00:01:54 Pete's brother
00:01:57 Trish is going to Montreal.
00:01:59 Montreal? Oh, her family's there.
00:02:01 -Then we're off.
00:02:03 -Tomorrow.
00:02:06 Uncle Frank won't let me
00:02:09 ...but the big kids can.
00:02:10 Why can't I?
00:02:12 I'm on the phone.
00:02:14 When do you come back?
00:02:16 It's not even rated R.
00:02:20 Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no...
00:02:23 ...then it must be really bad.
00:02:25 No, we put the dog in the kennel--
00:02:28 Kevin, out of the room.
00:02:30 Hang up the phone and make me,
00:02:32 This kid.
00:02:33 Did you pick up
00:02:36 No, I didn't have time.
00:02:38 -Then how do I shave in France?
00:02:41 Dad, nobody'll let me do anything.
00:02:43 I've got something, pick up those
00:02:48 Aunt Leslie almost broke her neck.
00:02:50 He was playing
00:02:53 We talked about that.
00:02:54 Did I burn down the joint?
00:02:57 I made ornaments out of fish hooks.
00:03:00 -My new fish hooks?
00:03:03 ...with dry worm guts stuck on them.
00:03:07 -Peter.
00:03:10 Do you guys have a voltage adapter?
00:03:12 Here's a voltage adapter!
00:03:14 God, you're getting heavy!
00:03:19 Pack my suitcase?
00:03:22 -Where's the shampoo?
00:03:25 This many people here
00:03:27 -Are your folks home?
00:03:29 -Tracy, did you order the pizza?
00:03:32 Excuse me. Are your parents here?
00:03:35 My parents live in Paris.
00:03:36 -Hi!
00:03:37 -Are your parents home?
00:03:39 -Do they live here?
00:03:41 No. Why should they?
00:03:45 Probably a fancy orphanage.
00:03:47 I don't know how to pack a suitcase.
00:03:51 -Tough.
00:03:53 -What did I say?
00:03:56 The dope was whining about a suitcase.
00:03:59 "Congratulations, you're an idiot"?
00:04:01 -I'm not an idiot!
00:04:03 You're helpless! We have to do
00:04:06 -She's right, Kev.
00:04:10 I don't know how to pack.
00:04:12 -I hope you didn't just pack crap.
00:04:15 -Do you know what I should pack?
00:04:18 Toilet paper and water.
00:04:21 What are you so worried about?
00:04:23 You know Mom's gonna
00:04:26 You're what the French call
00:04:30 What?
00:04:32 Bombs away!
00:04:38 P.S. You have to sleep
00:04:42 If he has something to drink,
00:04:45 This house is so full of people
00:04:48 When I grow up and get married,
00:04:51 Did you hear me?
00:04:55 I'm living alone!
00:05:00 Who's gonna feed your spider?
00:05:03 He just ate a load of mice guts.
00:05:08 Is it true French babes
00:05:12 Some don't.
00:05:14 But they got nude beaches.
00:05:16 Not in the winter.
00:05:23 Buzz?
00:05:25 Don't you know how to knock,
00:05:28 Can I sleep here?
00:05:31 If he drinks, he'll wet the bed.
00:05:34 I wouldn't let you sleep in my room
00:05:41 Check it out. Old man Marley.
00:05:47 Who's he?
00:05:49 You ever heard of
00:05:53 -No.
00:05:55 In '58 he murdered his whole family
00:06:01 ...with a snow shovel.
00:06:03 Been hiding out
00:06:06 If he's the shovel slayer,
00:06:10 Not enough evidence to convict.
00:06:13 They never found the bodies.
00:06:15 Everyone around here knows he did it.
00:06:18 It'll just be a matter of time...
00:06:20 ...before he does it again.
00:06:22 What's he doing now?
00:06:24 He walks up and down
00:06:27 ...salting the sidewalks.
00:06:29 Maybe he's just trying to be nice.
00:06:33 No way.
00:06:35 See that garbage can full of salt?
00:06:39 That's where he keeps his victims.
00:06:42 The salt turns the bodies...
00:06:45 ...into mummies.
00:06:49 Mummies!
00:06:55 Look out!
00:07:29 How you kids doing? Good?
00:07:32 Lot of action around here today, huh?
00:07:34 Going on vacation?
00:07:36 Where you going?
00:07:38 You hear me, or what?
00:07:42 Where you going, kid?
00:07:53 Okay, that's $122.50.
00:07:56 Not from me, kid. I don't live here.
00:07:59 You just around for the holidays?
00:08:01 You could say that.
00:08:02 -Pizza's here!
00:08:04 That's $122.50.
00:08:06 It's my brother's house. He'll get it.
00:08:10 Hey, listen....
00:08:12 -Hi.
00:08:14 -Are you Mr. McCallister?
00:08:16 The Mr. McCallister who lives here?
00:08:18 Good, because somebody
00:08:21 -I'd like a word with you, sir.
00:08:25 No, no, no. There's always
00:08:29 We're checking the neighborhood to see
00:08:34 We have automatic timers
00:08:37 That's about as well
00:08:39 -Did you get some eggnog?
00:08:42 -Let's eat.
00:08:43 -Eggnog?
00:08:45 -Are you gonna be leaving--?
00:08:49 Grab a napkin
00:08:51 -Does Santa go through customs?
00:08:56 Early. We're leaving at 8 a.m.
00:08:59 I hope you're all drinking milk.
00:09:03 -Pizza boy needs $122.50, plus tip.
00:09:08 Ten pizzas times 12 bucks.
00:09:10 -You've got money.
00:09:12 Forget it, Frank. We have cash.
00:09:15 You probably got the checks
00:09:18 Did anyone order me a plain cheese?
00:09:21 Yeah. But if you want any...
00:09:24 ...somebody's gonna have to barf it up
00:09:27 Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi.
00:09:37 Kev! Kev, get a plate.
00:09:50 -Passports!
00:09:56 No, no. Get these passports
00:10:03 Are you okay, honey? Come here.
00:10:07 What is the matter?
00:10:08 He started it!
00:10:11 He knows I hate sausage and olives--
00:10:13 Look what you did, you little jerk!
00:10:29 Get upstairs now.
00:10:31 Why?
00:10:32 You're such a disease.
00:10:34 -Shut up!
00:10:36 -Say good night, Kevin.
00:10:42 Why do I get treated like scum?
00:10:44 I'm sorry. This house is just crazy.
00:10:47 We've got all these extra kids
00:10:49 My brother's in from Ohio.
00:10:52 How come you didn't bring
00:10:56 -Nice tip. Thanks.
00:10:58 Having a reunion?
00:11:00 My husband's brother transferred
00:11:04 He missed the family,
00:11:07 ...so we'll be together.
00:11:08 -You're taking a trip to Paris?
00:11:13 Excellent. Excellent.
00:11:15 If you'll excuse me,
00:11:18 Don't worry about me.
00:11:21 And don't worry about your home.
00:11:29 Fifteen people in this house,
00:11:32 I'm getting dumped on.
00:11:33 You're the only one acting up.
00:11:36 I am upstairs, dummy!
00:11:39 The third floor?
00:11:41 -Go.
00:11:44 Fuller'll be up in a while.
00:11:46 I don't want to sleep with Fuller.
00:11:49 He'll pee all over me. I know it.
00:11:52 We'll put him somewhere else.
00:11:55 I'm sorry.
00:11:56 It's too late. Get upstairs.
00:12:02 Everyone in this family hates me!
00:12:04 Then ask Santa for a new family.
00:12:06 I don't want a new family.
00:12:10 Stay up there. I don't want
00:12:13 I don't want to see you
00:12:16 I don't want to see
00:12:19 I hope you don't mean that.
00:12:21 You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up
00:12:25 No, I wouldn't.
00:12:27 Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.
00:12:30 I hope I never see
00:12:54 I wish they would all just disappear.
00:13:54 -Where are they?
00:14:06 Peter!
00:14:09 -We slept in!
00:14:28 Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy.
00:14:31 You guys going out of town?
00:14:33 We're going to Florida.
00:14:34 Well, first we're going to Missouri
00:14:38 You know the McCallisters
00:14:41 Do you know if it's cold?
00:14:43 -Do these vans get good mileage?
00:14:51 Do a head count.
00:14:53 Where are the passports?
00:14:55 I put them in the microwave to dry.
00:14:57 How fast does this go?
00:15:01 Does it have 4-wheel drive?
00:15:03 Look, I told you before, kid.
00:15:18 Line up in front of the van.
00:15:22 Line up and shut up!
00:15:25 Shut up! I gotta take a head count.
00:15:28 One, two, three--
00:15:29 Eleven, 92, 12....
00:15:32 Buzz, don't be a moron.
00:15:34 Six, seven, eight...
00:15:37 ...nine, 10, 11.
00:15:40 Okay, half in this van,
00:15:45 Have a good trip.
00:15:51 There's no way we'll make this plane.
00:15:55 Think positive!
00:15:56 You be positive. I'll be realistic.
00:15:58 Ma'am. Ma'am.
00:16:02 ...but the phones are a mess.
00:16:06 -Especially around the holidays.
00:16:09 Did you count heads?
00:16:11 Eleven, including me.
00:16:12 Five boys, six girls, four parents, two
00:16:52 Hold the plane!
00:16:54 -Did we miss it?
00:16:58 Single seats only in coach.
00:17:02 I get a window seat!
00:17:07 -Kids are in coach, we're first class.
00:17:11 Four A and B. I'll take your coats.
00:17:14 -Fasten your seat belts.
00:17:17 -It's free, isn't it?
00:17:20 We made it.
00:17:21 Do you believe it?
00:18:46 Mom?
00:18:53 Thank you.
00:18:55 -That's real. That's real crystal.
00:18:58 -Put them in your purse.
00:19:01 Just-- Put them in your purse!
00:19:04 Yeah. Fill it up. Fill it up.
00:19:07 Fill it up, please.
00:19:09 Thank you.
00:19:11 Don't you feel like a heel,
00:19:14 No. The kids are fine.
00:19:16 The only time I ever flew as a kid was
00:19:21 We had to go to Aunt Laura
00:19:24 Kids are okay. They're having
00:19:28 Hello?
00:19:31 Mom?
00:19:35 Dad?
00:19:40 Mom? Dad?
00:19:45 Where are you guys?
00:19:48 Buzz?
00:19:51 Buzz?
00:19:56 Buzz?
00:20:02 Megan?
00:20:04 Hello?
00:20:06 Hello?
00:20:08 Rod?
00:20:10 Uncle Frank?
00:20:12 Uncle Frank, is this a joke?
00:20:16 Megan? Linnie?
00:20:21 Is this a joke?
00:20:47 It's only my imagination.
00:20:49 Only my imagination.
00:21:08 The cars are still here.
00:21:30 I made my family disappear.
00:21:34 You're completely helpless.
00:21:37 You know, Kevin, you're what
00:21:42 Kevin, I'm going to feed you
00:21:45 Kevin, you are such a disease.
00:21:48 There are 15 people, and you're
00:21:53 Look what you did, you little jerk!
00:22:00 I made my family disappear.
00:22:18 I'm free!
00:22:40 No clothes on anybody. Sickening!
00:22:44 Cool! Firecrackers!
00:22:48 Buzz, I'm going through
00:22:51 You better come out and pound me!
00:22:57 Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!
00:23:49 Who is it?
00:23:55 It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
00:23:58 Leave it on the doorstep
00:24:01 All right, Johnny,
00:24:04 What money?
00:24:05 A.C. said you had some dough for me.
00:24:08 Is that a fact?
00:24:11 A.C. said 10 percent.
00:24:14 Too bad A.C. ain't in charge no more.
00:24:17 Guys, I'm eating junk
00:24:20 You better come out and stop me!
00:24:23 He'll call you when he gets out.
00:24:26 Hey.
00:24:28 I'll tell you what I'll give you.
00:24:31 I'm gonna give you
00:24:34 ...to get your ugly, yellow...
00:24:37 ...no-good keister off my property...
00:24:39 ...before I pump your guts
00:24:42 All right, I'm sorry. I'm going.
00:24:44 One, two...10.
00:25:02 Keep the change, you filthy animal.
00:25:06 Mom!
00:25:19 What's the matter?
00:25:22 Honey?
00:25:24 -I have a terrible feeling.
00:25:29 That we didn't do something.
00:25:32 You feel that way
00:25:34 -We took care of everything.
00:25:38 No.
00:25:39 I did.
00:25:41 Did you lock up?
00:25:44 Yeah.
00:25:46 Did you close the garage?
00:25:50 That's it.
00:25:51 I forgot to close the garage. That's it.
00:25:59 No, that's not it.
00:26:03 What else could we be forgetting?
00:26:09 Kevin!
00:26:53 The captain's doing all he can.
00:26:57 We'll call when we land.
00:27:01 Horrible. Horrible.
00:27:03 Just horrible.
00:27:05 How could we do this? We forgot him.
00:27:08 We didn't forget him,
00:27:11 What kind of mother am I?
00:27:14 If it makes you feel any better,
00:27:22 Five families gone
00:27:25 They all told me
00:27:28 It's almost too easy.
00:27:30 Check it out:
00:27:32 All the houses with nobody home...
00:27:34 ...have automatic timers
00:27:37 But I got it all figured out.
00:27:42 Number 664 will be going on
00:27:48 ...now.
00:27:50 Wait, wait, wait.
00:27:53 Number 672...
00:27:57 ...right now.
00:28:02 Wait a minute.
00:28:03 671...
00:28:06 ...now.
00:28:10 And that's the one, Marvin.
00:28:14 It's very G.
00:28:16 Very G, huh? It's loaded.
00:28:18 It's got lots of top-flight goods.
00:28:21 -Stereos, VCRs--
00:28:24 Probably looking at
00:28:27 Possible cash horde.
00:28:30 Odd marketable securities.
00:28:33 Who knows? It's a gem.
00:28:36 Grab your crowbar.
00:28:39 Crowbars up.
00:29:40 Which way?
00:29:41 We'll go around back,
00:30:05 -You said they were gone.
00:30:08 Let's get out of here.
00:30:46 We have to use the phone, please.
00:30:49 It's an emergency.
00:30:52 Please! Our brother's home alone.
00:30:55 Give us the phone!
00:30:57 I'm sorry. Thank you.
00:30:58 I'm calling the police.
00:31:01 Get change out of here.
00:31:04 Here's my address book. You and Frank
00:31:09 Maybe somebody can help us.
00:31:11 Hello? Hello?
00:31:21 This is ridiculous. Only a wimp
00:31:25 And I can't be a wimp.
00:31:36 Hey, I'm not afraid anymore!
00:31:40 I said, I'm not afraid anymore!
00:31:44 Do you hear me?
00:32:19 Village police department.
00:32:20 I'm calling from Paris.
00:32:24 I'd like somebody to go there. Tell him
00:32:29 Okay, let me connect you
00:32:32 No, it's not a family crisis.
00:32:33 Hold on.
00:32:36 Larry, can you pick up?
00:32:40 -What line, Rose?
00:32:43 Family Crisis Intervention,
00:32:46 I'm calling from Paris.
00:32:49 Has the child been involved in
00:32:54 No!
00:32:55 Has he been involved
00:32:58 I don't know. I hope not.
00:33:01 Has the child ingested any poison
00:33:05 No, he's home alone! I'd like
00:33:09 ...and see if he's all right.
00:33:12 You want us to go to your house,
00:33:16 Yes!
00:33:17 Let me connect you to the police.
00:33:19 They just transferred me.
00:33:21 -Rose! Hyper on 2.
00:33:23 -Hold on, please.
00:33:28 Any luck?
00:33:29 No.
00:33:31 -I couldn't get anybody.
00:33:34 Nothing but a bunch
00:33:38 Somebody pick up. Pick up!
00:33:41 Oh, hi, ma'am. It's you again.
00:33:43 I'm calling from Paris.
00:33:48 We'll send a policeman over
00:34:22 There's no one home.
00:34:25 Tell them to count their kids again.
00:34:28 You can't bump somebody or ask or--?
00:34:30 There's no way I can do that.
00:34:32 Isn't there a way
00:34:35 If you said it's an emergency--
00:34:36 I cannot ask them.
00:34:38 A policeman's going
00:34:40 Well, that's a relief.
00:34:43 Nothing to Chicago?
00:34:45 There's nothing to Chicago,
00:34:49 -What about a private plane?
00:34:53 The only thing is a booking
00:34:56 Friday morn-- That's two days away.
00:34:59 The kids are exhausted and so are you.
00:35:02 I say we go over to Rob's, and
00:35:08 I'm not leaving here
00:35:11 Madame, we are doing
00:35:14 If you want to stay at the airport,
00:35:18 It is a possibility
00:35:21 -Is that okay?
00:35:30 -Bye. I'll miss you, honey.
00:35:36 Don't you get lost.
00:35:39 Goodbye.
00:35:56 I took a shower, washing every
00:36:00 Including all my major crevices...
00:36:02 ...between my toes
00:36:04 ...which I never did before
00:36:07 I washed my hair with adult formula
00:36:14 I can't find my toothbrush,
00:36:17 Other than that, I'm in good shape.
00:37:10 All right! Buzz's life savings.
00:37:40 I thought the Murphys went to Florida.
00:37:59 You're one of the great
00:38:02 You think you can keep it
00:38:05 You've reached the Murphys.
00:38:10 This is Peter McCallister again.
00:38:14 Let me give you the number here.
00:38:18 The area code is 14
00:38:23 -Hey, Harry.
00:38:25 That house we ran last night,
00:38:28 Yeah.
00:38:30 -Call me in Paris.
00:38:37 -I knew they were.
00:38:49 How may I help you?
00:38:51 Is this toothbrush approved
00:38:55 Well, I don't know.
00:38:58 -It doesn't say, hon.
00:39:05 -Herb.
00:39:07 I got a question here
00:39:16 Do you know, is this brush approved
00:39:21 I don't know.
00:39:45 Oh, hon, you pay for that here.
00:39:49 Wait, you have to pay for that.
00:39:52 Son! Son! Hey!
00:39:55 Jimmy, stop that boy!
00:40:02 Hey!
00:40:04 Hey!
00:40:08 Shoplifter!
00:40:13 Hey! Hey, kid!
00:40:21 Come back here!
00:40:24 Stop it, will you?
00:40:26 Come here.
00:41:06 I'm a criminal.
00:41:35 What's so funny?
00:41:37 What's so funny?
00:41:39 Why are you laughing?
00:41:44 You did it again.
00:41:46 You left the water running.
00:41:49 Why do you do that?
00:41:51 -It's our calling card.
00:41:54 All the great ones leave their mark.
00:41:56 We're the Wet Bandits.
00:41:58 You're sick, you know?
00:42:02 -I'm not sick.
00:42:04 It's a sick thing to do.
00:42:12 -We don't need that.
00:42:14 I can do it if I want to.
00:42:18 It's not sick. Hey, watch out!
00:42:28 Hey! Hey!
00:42:30 You gotta watch out for traffic.
00:42:32 -Sorry.
00:42:34 Santy don't visit
00:42:38 Okay, okay.
00:42:40 Merry Christmas.
00:42:52 What's the matter?
00:42:54 I don't like the way
00:42:56 -Ever seen him before?
00:43:01 Let's see what house he goes into.
00:43:35 Why's he going faster?
00:43:37 I told you something's wrong.
00:43:39 He looked at me weird.
00:44:17 Maybe he went in the church.
00:44:19 -I'm not going in there.
00:44:22 Let's get out of here.
00:44:42 When those guys come back,
00:45:10 Did they come back?
00:45:12 From Paris?
00:45:50 We'll come back tomorrow.
00:45:53 We better go before
00:46:27 Look what I found in the kitchen.
00:46:29 Frank, those are for later.
00:46:36 Do you want a little shrimp, huh?
00:46:40 Do you speak English?
00:46:45 Well, is there--?
00:46:52 -Did you get anybody?
00:46:55 No, I can't find anybody.
00:46:57 They're all shopping.
00:47:01 Never mind, forget it.
00:47:03 -This is so pointless.
00:47:06 We're here rotting in this apartment.
00:47:09 Kevin's at home.
00:47:11 -So?
00:47:14 Why should I be? He acted like a jerk,
00:47:20 He's so little and helpless.
00:47:24 The trout can use a couple of days
00:47:27 You're not worried
00:47:30 No. For three reasons:
00:47:32 A, I'm not that lucky.
00:47:37 ...and D, we live in the most boring
00:47:41 ...where nothing even remotely
00:48:13 Who is it?
00:48:14 It's Little Nero's. I have your pizza.
00:48:17 Leave it on the doorstep
00:48:20 Okay.
00:48:23 What about the money?
00:48:26 What money?
00:48:28 Well, you have to pay
00:48:32 Is that a fact?
00:48:37 That'll be $11.80, sir.
00:48:46 Keep the change, you filthy animal.
00:48:51 -Cheapskate.
00:48:52 I'm gonna give you
00:48:55 ...to get your ugly, yellow...
00:48:58 ...no-good keister off my property...
00:49:00 ...before I pump your guts full of lead.
00:49:02 One, two...10.
00:49:33 A lovely cheese pizza, just for me.
00:49:40 --to Dallas/Fort Worth.
00:49:41 American Airlines....
00:49:45 So we have the $500,
00:49:48 ...the two first-class seats,
00:49:50 Is that a real Rolex?
00:49:53 -Do you think it is?
00:49:56 But who can tell? I also have a ring.
00:49:59 That is beautiful!
00:50:01 They're boarding.
00:50:03 She's offered us two first-class
00:50:07 Plus a ring, a watch,
00:50:11 The earrings.
00:50:13 She's got her own earrings.
00:50:17 -Come on, come on.
00:50:20 I'm desperate.
00:50:22 I'm begging you.
00:50:28 -Oh, Ed.
00:50:31 Oh, all right.
00:50:39 "Dear Santa, I got a sister last year.
00:50:41 This year I'd rather have Clay-Doh."
00:50:58 I didn't mean it.
00:50:59 If you come back, I'll never
00:51:03 I promise. Good night.
00:52:47 Are those microwave dinners good?
00:52:50 -I don't know.
00:52:58 For the kids.
00:53:02 Hold on, I got a coupon for that.
00:53:05 It was in the paper this morning.
00:53:11 $19.83.
00:53:12 Okay.
00:53:18 Are you here by yourself?
00:53:21 Ma'am, I'm 8 years old.
00:53:22 You think I'd be here alone?
00:53:27 Where's your mom?
00:53:29 -In the car.
00:53:30 -He's at work.
00:53:34 I'm an only child.
00:53:35 -Where do you live?
00:53:38 -Why not?
00:54:19 Hello, Kevin!
00:54:26 Shut up!
00:54:41 I don't get it.
00:54:43 It looks like there's nobody's home.
00:54:46 Last night the place is jumping.
00:54:49 Something ain't right.
00:54:51 Go check it out.
00:55:01 Now?
00:55:03 No, tomorrow, egghead!
00:55:09 "Now?"
00:55:27 Shit!
00:55:32 Get the hell out of here.
00:55:33 All right, Johnny.
00:55:37 What money?
00:55:38 A.C. said you had
00:55:41 Is that a fact?
00:55:44 A.C. said 10 percent.
00:55:47 Too bad A.C. ain't in charge no more.
00:55:49 What do you mean?
00:55:51 He's upstairs, taking a bath.
00:55:54 He'll call you when he gets out.
00:55:58 Hey, I tell you what
00:56:03 -Snakes?
00:56:06 ...to get your ugly,
00:56:08 ...keister off my property...
00:56:11 ...before I pump your guts full of lead.
00:56:13 All right, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm going.
00:56:16 One, two...10.
00:56:38 Keep the change, you filthy animal.
00:56:46 What happened?
00:56:47 I don't know who,
00:56:50 Somebody beat us, they're in there.
00:56:52 Two of them.
00:56:53 There was arguing.
00:56:56 -Who?
00:56:59 I recognized one of their voices.
00:57:04 Snakes? Snakes. Snakes.
00:57:08 Snakes. Let's get out of here.
00:57:14 Hold it. Hold it.
00:57:15 Let's wait and see who it is.
00:57:19 Suppose the cops finger us for a job...
00:57:21 ...and they ask us
00:57:25 Won't it be nice to have
00:57:30 That's a good idea.
00:57:32 Of course it's a good idea. Snakes?
00:57:35 He sounded like a snake.
00:57:44 Everything's full.
00:57:45 Everything's full?
00:57:47 I'm very sorry,
00:57:51 What about another airline?
00:57:57 Nothing available.
00:58:00 -Tomorrow we can get you a flight.
00:58:04 I'm sorry, ma'am, but we're doing
00:58:12 I'm in your way. I'm sorry.
00:58:16 Got a ticket there, good. Excuse me.
00:58:18 Look, I have been awake for almost
00:58:24 I have been from Chicago to Paris,
00:58:28 Scranton.
00:58:30 I'm trying to get home
00:58:33 Now you're telling me it's hopeless?
00:58:36 -I'm sorry.
00:58:39 This is Christmas!
00:58:43 If I have to get on
00:58:46 ...if it costs me everything I own...
00:58:48 ...if I have to sell my soul
00:58:51 ...I am going to get home to my son.
00:58:55 Ma'am, if there was anything--
00:58:57 Do it. Do anything.
00:58:59 -I can get you a hotel room.
00:59:01 Can you excuse us for a sec?
00:59:06 Excuse us.
00:59:10 You got a little bit of a dilemma.
00:59:12 We got a crisis ourselves.
00:59:15 Allow me to introduce myself.
00:59:20 Polka King of the Midwest?
00:59:25 The Kenosha Kickers?
00:59:28 -Hi there.
00:59:30 That's okay. I thought
00:59:34 I had a few hits a few years ago.
00:59:38 "Polka, Polka, Polka"?
00:59:41 No? "Twin Lakes Polka"?
00:59:44 "Yamahoozie Polka," a.k.a.
00:59:49 These are songs?
00:59:51 Yeah. Yeah, we--
00:59:54 You know, in the early '70s.
00:59:56 Yeah, we sold about
00:59:59 -In Chicago?
01:00:00 Very big in Sheboygan.
01:00:02 Did you say you could help?
01:00:04 Anyway, I'm rambling on here.
01:00:08 ...so we gotta drive. See the guy
01:00:13 He's gonna rent us a nice big van
01:00:16 Now, I heard you had some problems
01:00:20 To see your kid?
01:00:21 My son. He--
01:00:26 If you have to get to Chicago,
01:00:29 It's on the way to Milwaukee.
01:00:32 -You'd give me a ride?
01:00:35 You gotta get home.
01:00:36 -A ride to Chicago?
01:00:40 Thank you. Oh, thank you.
01:00:42 You don't mind
01:00:44 No, I'd love to.
01:01:08 Hey, Marv. Marv, Marv!
01:01:11 Look at this.
01:01:19 I think we're getting scammed
01:01:53 Dad, can you come here
01:02:00 Remember that kid
01:02:03 He lives here.
01:02:05 If the kid's here,
01:02:08 He's home alone.
01:02:18 What? You want to
01:02:20 Even with the kid here?
01:02:22 I don't think that's a good idea.
01:02:24 That house is the reason
01:02:27 Ever since I saw that house,
01:02:30 Let's take it one step at a time.
01:02:32 We'll unload the van, get a bite
01:02:37 Nine o'clock.
01:02:38 This way it's dark.
01:02:40 Yeah, kids are scared of the dark.
01:02:43 You're afraid of the dark too.
01:02:47 No, I'm not.
01:02:49 -Yes, you are.
01:02:51 You are so.
01:02:52 Mom, where are you?
01:03:09 Do you play?
01:03:11 Do you want to try?
01:03:42 -Excuse me.
01:03:46 Hey, nice shoes.
01:03:48 Oh, thanks.
01:03:49 Is he still here?
01:03:54 He's getting in his car.
01:03:58 How low! Giving Kriss Kringle
01:04:03 What's next, rabies shots
01:04:06 Santa, hold on.
01:04:10 -Can I talk to you?
01:04:14 I know you're not
01:04:16 What makes you say that?
01:04:20 -I'm old enough to know how it works.
01:04:24 But I also know you work for him.
01:04:26 -I'd like you to give him a message.
01:04:29 Kevin McCallister, 671 Lincoln Blvd.
01:04:35 No, that's all right.
01:04:36 This is extremely important.
01:04:38 Please tell him instead of presents,
01:04:44 No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate,
01:04:48 And my aunt and my cousins.
01:04:51 And if he has time,
01:04:55 Okay.
01:04:58 -I'll see what I can do.
01:05:00 Wait. My elf took the last of the
01:05:05 -That's okay.
01:05:07 Everybody who sees Santa
01:05:10 Here, hold out your little paw there.
01:05:15 -Don't spoil your dinner.
01:05:17 Thanks.
01:05:30 Son of a--!
01:08:29 Merry Christmas.
01:08:33 May I sit down?
01:08:45 That's my granddaughter.
01:08:47 The little red-haired girl.
01:08:51 She's about your age. You know her?
01:08:54 No.
01:08:56 -You live next to me, don't you?
01:08:59 You can say hello when you see me.
01:09:03 There's a lot of things going around
01:09:09 -You've been good this year?
01:09:12 You swear to it?
01:09:14 No.
01:09:15 Yeah. Well, this is the place to be
01:09:20 -It is?
01:09:23 -Are you feeling bad about yourself?
01:09:30 I've been kind of a pain lately.
01:09:35 I really haven't been
01:09:38 Yeah.
01:09:40 I'm kind of upset
01:09:43 Even though sometimes I say I don't.
01:09:48 -Do you get that?
01:09:51 How you feel about your family
01:09:55 Especially with an older brother.
01:09:58 Deep down, you'll always love them.
01:10:00 But you can forget that you love them.
01:10:05 And that's not just
01:10:09 You want to know the real
01:10:12 Sure.
01:10:14 I came to hear my granddaughter sing.
01:10:18 You have plans?
01:10:19 No.
01:10:21 I'm not welcome.
01:10:24 At church?
01:10:25 You're always welcome at church.
01:10:27 I'm not welcome with my son.
01:10:31 Years back, before you and your family
01:10:35 ...I had an argument with my son.
01:10:38 How old is he?
01:10:39 He's grown up.
01:10:42 We lost our tempers, and I said
01:10:47 He said the same, and we haven't
01:10:53 If you miss him,
01:10:56 I'm afraid if I call,
01:10:58 How do you know?
01:11:01 I don't know.
01:11:04 No offense, but aren't you
01:11:08 You can be old for a lot of things.
01:11:11 -You're never too old to be afraid.
01:11:14 I was afraid of our basement.
01:11:16 It's dark. There's weird stuff
01:11:19 That sort of thing.
01:11:23 Basements are like that.
01:11:26 I made myself go down
01:11:28 ...and I found out it's not so bad.
01:11:31 I worried about it, but if you
01:11:36 What's your point?
01:11:37 My point is,
01:11:41 -What if he won't talk to me?
01:11:44 Then you could stop worrying about it.
01:11:49 No matter how mad I was, I'd talk to
01:11:56 I don't know.
01:11:57 Just give it a shot.
01:12:01 I'm sure she misses you.
01:12:04 I send her a check.
01:12:06 I wish my grandparents did that.
01:12:10 Last year I got a sweater
01:12:13 Oh, that's nice.
01:12:15 Not for a guy in the second grade.
01:12:17 You can get beat up
01:12:21 I have a friend who got nailed...
01:12:23 ...because there was a rumor
01:12:27 You better run home where you belong.
01:12:32 -All right?
01:12:34 It's nice talking to you.
01:12:36 Nice talking to you.
01:12:44 -What about you?
01:12:47 Yeah. You and your son.
01:12:51 We'll see what happens.
01:12:54 Merry Christmas.
01:12:56 Merry Christmas.
01:13:50 This is my house. I have to defend it.
01:15:22 We'll check it out.
01:15:33 How do we go in?
01:15:35 We'll go to the back door.
01:15:38 Yeah, he's a kid. Kids are stupid.
01:15:43 Bless this nutritious, microwaveable
01:15:48 ...and the people
01:16:15 This is it. Don't get scared now.
01:16:31 Merry Christmas, little fella.
01:16:35 We know that you're in there
01:16:40 Yeah, come on, kid. Open up.
01:16:43 It's Santy Claus and his elf.
01:16:48 We won't hurt you.
01:16:50 No, no. Got some nice
01:16:54 Be a good little fella now
01:17:02 What?
01:17:05 What? What?
01:17:08 What?
01:17:09 -What happened?
01:17:23 Hello.
01:17:31 Yes! Yes!
01:17:33 The little jerk is armed!
01:17:35 That's it! I'm going in the front.
01:18:41 That smart aleck!
01:20:12 Oh, boy. That's it, you little--
01:20:17 No, not this time, you little brat.
01:20:23 You little creep, where are you?
01:20:50 Yes!
01:21:25 --rip his head off--!
01:21:37 You're dead, kid.
01:22:25 Where are you, you little creep?
01:22:44 Harry, I'm coming in!
01:22:52 Oh, no! I'm really scared.
01:22:54 It's too late for you, kid, we're
01:22:58 Okay, come and get me!
01:23:01 Why, you--!
01:23:08 Now you're dead!
01:23:35 I'm gonna kill that kid!
01:23:53 -Marv.
01:23:55 Why'd you take your shoes off?
01:23:58 Why are you dressed like a chicken?
01:24:01 I'm up here, you morons.
01:24:08 You guys give up,
01:24:21 Heads up!
01:24:26 Don't worry, Marv.
01:24:32 Yes!
01:24:39 He's only a kid, Harry.
01:24:41 Shut up, will you? What is it?
01:24:44 You're missing some teeth.
01:24:47 Where? It's my gold tooth.
01:24:49 My gold tooth. I'll kill him. I'll kill him!
01:24:54 You bomb me with
01:24:57 ...and I'll snap off your cojones
01:25:04 911 emergency.
01:25:06 Hello, my house is being robbed.
01:25:08 My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard.
01:25:16 You never know what's there.
01:25:19 There he is!
01:25:25 I got you! I got him, Harry.
01:25:29 I got him.
01:25:31 Harry, give me a hand!
01:25:36 I got him!
01:25:38 Harry, help me. Get up!
01:25:41 I got him.
01:26:22 What are you doing?
01:26:24 Harry, don't move.
01:26:27 Marv?
01:26:28 Don't move.
01:26:31 What are you doing?
01:26:37 Did I get him?
01:26:39 Did I get him?
01:26:41 Where is it? Where is it?
01:26:43 Never mind that. Here!
01:26:47 Get that kid, before I--
01:27:17 Where'd he go?
01:27:19 Maybe he committed suicide.
01:27:21 Down here, you big horse's ass!
01:27:26 -Let's get him!
01:27:28 It's just what he wants us to do:
01:27:30 Go back through his fun house
01:27:34 He's gonna call the cops!
01:27:35 From a tree house?
01:27:37 Come on.
01:27:40 -Out the window?
01:27:41 I'm not going out the window.
01:27:43 Why, you scared? Are you afraid?
01:27:52 Come on.
01:27:59 Come on!
01:28:06 -Come on. Keep going.
01:28:15 Shut it, Marv.
01:28:20 Hey, guys!
01:28:21 Check this out.
01:28:24 Go back. Go back.
01:29:14 There he is!
01:29:16 Hey, I'm calling the cops!
01:29:19 Wait, wait!
01:29:22 I got a better idea. Come on.
01:29:42 Hi, pal.
01:29:43 We outsmarted you this time.
01:29:53 What are you gonna do?
01:29:54 I'll do exactly what he did to us.
01:29:56 Burn his head with a blowtorch.
01:29:59 I'll smash his face with an iron.
01:30:01 I'd like to slap him
01:30:04 Shove a nail through his foot!
01:30:06 I'm gonna bite off every one of
01:30:20 Come on. Let's get you home.
01:30:45 Wow, this is great.
01:30:51 Nice move, leaving the water running.
01:30:54 Now we know each and every house
01:31:01 We've been looking for you guys
01:31:04 Yeah. Well, remember,
01:31:07 -Wet Bandits, that's W-E-T--
01:31:11 Hey, come on. Come on.
01:31:14 -Hands off the head, pal!
01:32:12 I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.
01:32:14 No, you're not.
01:32:15 You're beating yourself up there.
01:32:18 These things happen.
01:32:20 You want to talk about bad parents?
01:32:24 We're on the road 48, 49 weeks a year.
01:32:30 Joe, over there. Gosh, you know...
01:32:32 ...he forgets his kids' names
01:32:35 Ziggy over there,
01:32:39 Eddy.... Let's just hope
01:32:44 Tell me, have you gone on vacation
01:32:50 No.
01:32:53 But I did leave one
01:32:56 Yeah, it was terrible too.
01:33:00 The wife and I, we left the little
01:33:04 All day. You know, we went
01:33:08 ...came to our senses, there he was.
01:33:11 Apparently, he was there
01:33:15 He was okay.
01:33:18 He came around
01:33:22 They get over it.
01:33:25 We shouldn't talk about this.
01:33:27 -I was just trying to cheer you up.
01:33:58 Mom?
01:34:04 Mom?
01:34:09 Mom?
01:34:58 Kevin!
01:35:01 Kevin!
01:35:33 Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
01:35:44 Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry.
01:36:07 Where's everybody else?
01:36:09 Oh, baby, they couldn't come.
01:36:12 They wanted to so much--
01:36:13 I didn't fall asleep in the back
01:36:18 -You do drool!
01:36:23 Kevin, my boy. How are you?
01:36:27 You're all right.
01:36:29 I love you. You okay?
01:36:32 Hey, Kev.
01:36:35 It's cool that you didn't
01:36:40 Thanks, Buzz.
01:36:44 Wait a minute.
01:36:46 On the morning flight
01:36:48 -Oh, no. Thank you.
01:36:52 Merry Christmas.
01:36:54 Someone has to find an open store.
01:36:56 I went shopping yesterday.
01:37:01 You, shopping?
01:37:02 I got some milk, eggs
01:37:07 -What?
01:37:09 What a funny guy.
01:37:11 What else did you do
01:37:14 Just hung around.
01:37:19 Bring your stuff upstairs.
01:37:20 Shopping? He doesn't know how
01:37:25 This is not the Kevin I knew.
01:37:52 Honey, what's this?
01:38:52 Kevin! What did you do to my room?