Hottie The Nottie The
|
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You know the girl. |
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Your first real vision of beauty. |
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The one that all other girls |
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Class, we have a new student today. |
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Her name is Cristabel. |
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Everyone say hi to Cristabel. |
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Hi, Cristabel. |
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The heavens opened. |
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And that was it. |
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The moment l first fell in love. |
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You know the girl. |
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The one you run to so you can |
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breathlessly declare |
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But things don't always work out |
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...when you're six years old. |
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She cries at commercials by AT&T. |
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She sobs at the videos on MTV. |
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But she says it's got nothing |
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She's just an emotional girl. |
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She rips off my suits and |
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And shaves my head while |
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Sometimes l feel |
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and l'm just the pea... |
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And she's just an emotional girl. |
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Just an emotional... |
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You want the guitar? |
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ls...is everything okay...honey? |
00:03:09 |
You just don't get it, do you. |
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l don't know. |
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Your songs, which suck, |
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Are always about things l did. |
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They're not about you being |
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They're always about lalalalala |
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But you did. |
00:03:27 |
And it's fine. |
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We can laugh about it now, |
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Why do you think |
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And l know this one. |
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Because you were mad? |
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l'm leaving.... |
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And l'm taking my drawer. |
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Fuck this. |
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For all l've put up with, |
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l seem to deserve better |
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Jane...okay, okay, um... |
00:04:02 |
-Listen, listen, listen... |
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Are you going to keep |
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-You're an asshole! |
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You can keep it. |
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l just don't know what to do |
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Come on. |
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Okay...Jane, you see? |
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l came all the way |
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Stop. Please, please, |
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Let's talk. |
00:04:37 |
This is not talking. |
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You don't know what it's |
00:04:50 |
for years and |
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if they're ever |
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You're a loser, Nate Cooper. |
00:05:09 |
And that's when it hit me. |
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Yes, she may have overreacted... |
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But Jane was right. |
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No other girl would ever |
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Cristabel Abbott was the one. |
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But how could l have known the |
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l have a valentine for you |
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We just haven't had a chance to |
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l knew l had to find her. |
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And l knew just who to go to. |
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My best friend from first grade. |
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Who shared in the glories |
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and the art of nose picking. |
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Arno Blount. |
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Are you tired of doing |
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and not getting the flat |
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Well, it's time to stop, America... |
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Because you've been |
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That's right, America. |
00:06:31 |
You've been going the wrong way. |
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Now there's my Ab Away Pro System. |
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Designed with reverse ab action. |
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The fastest, easiest way |
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lt's all the same. |
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My Arno just loves holiday candies. |
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So we stock them up year round. |
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They make me feel happy. |
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Can l get you a Courvasier |
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or cocoa? |
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No thank you, Ms. Blount. |
00:06:59 |
l'm fine. |
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So you got a degree |
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Uh...yeah. |
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That means unemployed, right? |
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-Pretty much, yeah. |
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Means a lot more time to hang, huh? |
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-Okay. |
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what happened to Cristabel Abbott. |
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Well, yeah. |
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Well, l'm curious to know |
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how everyone's doing |
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Everyone...Right. |
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Well, my friend, you came |
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Wow, that's Cristabel? |
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-Yep. |
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"cause usually 13's a bad age. |
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From the first grade on, |
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That's weird. |
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Dear lord...Oh God. |
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-ls that...uh... |
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The nottie. |
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Ooh...nottie? |
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lt's a very well known |
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The hotness of one girl is |
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to the ugliness of |
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Wow. June Phigg. |
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lt's sort of sweet they've |
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Sweet? |
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She's like some hideous dragon |
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What? |
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ln order to |
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The nottie must be appeased. |
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You're saying |
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why Cristabel's still single? |
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Of course she is! |
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That, my friend, |
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Cristabel Abbott is the hottest |
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But no man will ever win her heart |
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without getting past |
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And she will destroy you. |
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No. No. This is fate. |
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Fate is the reason |
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Look. l came 3000 miles |
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And it's going to take a lot more |
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l like your moxie. |
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Yeah? Good. |
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You're gonna |
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Ma! |
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Bring out the file! |
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Coming, precious. |
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She loves it. |
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The hottie and her every move. |
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This whole thing is about |
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You should see the website. |
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Now, according to my records |
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She has a two mile jog every |
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She stops |
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for a light breakfast of ice |
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She'll pass the north end of the |
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Benches that face the ocean are |
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"Cause if you face the other way, |
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..and you lose the whole thing. |
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Hey guys. |
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Here she comes. |
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Konichiwa. Good morning. |
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Hi guys. |
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l love you. |
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Good morning. |
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Oh my god, l'm so sorry. |
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Were you sniffing me? |
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Sorry. |
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Hey, aren't you Cristabel Abbott? |
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-Yeah. |
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Back in the first grade. |
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Were you that guy who used to |
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No. The guy with processed meats |
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You're not that kid who used to |
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No, that was my friend, Arno. |
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Nice guy. |
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lf we went to first grade together, |
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You must be Nate Cooper. |
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l don't want to alarm you... |
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but there's |
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standing outside the window. |
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Oh, that's just my stalker, |
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He's completely harmless. |
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Randall, |
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So where were we? |
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Right. My job. |
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l work as an event planner for |
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which basically means l get to |
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Cool. |
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And...l'm pregnant. |
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l'm not sure whose it is, |
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Oh, l'm so sorry. |
00:13:06 |
l'm kidding. |
00:13:08 |
No kids, no boyfriend. |
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No action of any kind. |
00:13:12 |
Oh, good. |
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Or not. |
00:13:16 |
So what do you do now? |
00:13:18 |
Or are you still into finger |
00:13:21 |
No, no l um... |
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l'm a personal trainer. |
00:13:30 |
You're a personal trainer. |
00:13:33 |
Yeah. |
00:13:35 |
Like a gym? |
00:13:37 |
A lot of people mistake |
00:13:39 |
for being brought up |
00:13:41 |
But who wants adult acne |
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Not me. |
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No, it's a mind, body, |
00:13:55 |
You are what you eat. |
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And whatnot. |
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You should check out my gym. |
00:14:00 |
Actually, my roommate and l are |
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So do you want to come? |
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Absolutely. |
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My roommate. lt's June. |
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From the first grade. |
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Wow...June...Yeah. |
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June's into heath. |
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She's a vegan. |
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Everything she eats is non-fat. |
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Oh...how delicious. |
00:14:28 |
l'm so glad we ran into |
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Me too. |
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So the gym is at 6th and Ocean. |
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Here's my number |
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There. Now you can't lose it. |
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Hey, Cooper. |
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Hey. |
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You remember June. |
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Oh God... |
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Of course. |
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Yes. Who could forget the |
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-Oh, Jeanette. |
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-How are you? |
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-You look beautiful. |
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Sorry. |
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Nice. |
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June and l don't get much action, |
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Grab a spot. |
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So Nate here has become a |
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Oh, yeah. But you know what? |
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Enough about me. |
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June, what do you do? |
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June's a handler at the zoo. |
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That's great. |
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The only downside is l'm |
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Not that l don't already have |
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June has a lot of problems |
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l have sensitive skin. |
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Oh. |
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l mean, l've tried it all... |
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Shaving, bumps and ingrown |
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Nasty chemical reaction. |
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The only thing l can really do |
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You know what? |
00:17:12 |
lf you hadn't said anything, |
00:17:18 |
Uh, not that l've noticed now. |
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l'm not focusing on that at all. |
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lt's natural. |
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Everybody has it. |
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Everybody deals with it. |
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l've got hair. |
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Okay everyone. |
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Let's begin with |
00:17:33 |
-Adamucha Svenasama. |
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All right. |
00:17:59 |
And easing into cat pose. |
00:18:06 |
And arching your back. |
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And moving into downward |
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Beautiful form, Cristabel. |
00:18:39 |
Oh, that was amazing. |
00:18:47 |
So, Cris, |
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l thought it'd be wonderful |
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go out to dinner...maybe. |
00:19:01 |
Yeah, that'd be fun. |
00:19:02 |
Yeah? |
00:19:03 |
But the timing's terrible. |
00:19:06 |
Nate, it probably won't come as |
00:19:10 |
But June's never had a boyfriend. |
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-No. |
00:19:23 |
And all through school, |
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l didn't know the meaning |
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Sounds like l shouldn't |
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That's why l made |
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l'm not going to date |
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till June has someone special |
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Wow. |
00:19:45 |
That is...admirable. |
00:19:49 |
But that could be a very, |
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lt's just...the hard part |
00:20:04 |
Don't take it personally, Coopie. |
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You're a great guy. |
00:20:08 |
And if things were different... |
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Who knows? |
00:20:13 |
l gotta go. |
00:20:16 |
But maybe l'll see you later. |
00:20:20 |
-Yeah. l'll see you...later. |
00:20:26 |
She's not only smoking hot... |
00:20:29 |
She's also extremely horny. |
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And for some unknown reason, |
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l've got to find a guy for June. |
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There's somebody out there |
00:20:40 |
There's someone for everyone. |
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Boys! |
00:20:43 |
Mom. Nate thinks he can |
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She's got fur on her toes. |
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Mom! |
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l understand she has a little |
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Has she tried the new lasers? |
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Worked great on my bikini line. |
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Grew back in like peach fuzz. |
00:21:01 |
That's true. |
00:21:03 |
But what are you going to do? |
00:21:04 |
Laser her whole body? |
00:21:06 |
l mean, you have any idea |
00:21:07 |
what kind of radiation |
00:21:08 |
What if l tell her that |
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Send her to a spa, pretty her up. |
00:21:14 |
Somebody'll take her. |
00:21:15 |
Please. |
00:21:16 |
You want to flip this chick |
00:21:16 |
you're gonna have to do a lot |
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l got it! |
00:21:23 |
What if l pay somebody |
00:21:26 |
Pause. |
00:21:29 |
Look, you think l |
00:21:31 |
All right. |
00:21:32 |
This isn't about a single date. |
00:21:34 |
This is about somebody special |
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And you ain't got that |
00:21:39 |
Arno. |
00:21:41 |
The history of mankind |
00:21:45 |
that something cannot be done. |
00:21:47 |
who are frequently interrupted by |
00:21:53 |
What does that even mean? |
00:21:55 |
l don't know. |
00:21:56 |
l saw it on your wall back there. |
00:21:59 |
That is a beautiful blouse. |
00:22:01 |
Thank you. l don't even know |
00:22:03 |
but they're wonderful. |
00:22:05 |
Thanks. He's sweet. |
00:22:14 |
The reason l asked you |
00:22:16 |
-And like l said... |
00:22:19 |
l couldn't even think about |
00:22:23 |
l am just too concerned |
00:22:28 |
You've really been thinking |
00:22:30 |
Yeah. |
00:22:34 |
That's so sweet. |
00:22:35 |
And l gotta tell you |
00:22:40 |
that none of these narrow |
00:22:42 |
can see how beautiful she is just |
00:22:45 |
"cause they can't get past |
00:22:49 |
and some backne, you know. |
00:22:52 |
l know. |
00:22:53 |
l feel the same way. |
00:22:55 |
And l think l have found |
00:23:02 |
What's his name? |
00:23:04 |
Who? |
00:23:05 |
The guy that's perfect for June. |
00:23:08 |
That guy. |
00:23:09 |
His name is... |
00:23:13 |
Cole Slaw...son. |
00:23:17 |
Cole Slawsen. |
00:23:19 |
A good friend, of a friend. |
00:23:21 |
And that guy's name is Mike. |
00:23:23 |
All real. |
00:23:25 |
So it's the four of us. |
00:23:28 |
Wouldn't you consider |
00:23:31 |
Well, we can throw |
00:23:34 |
and hope they come out alive. |
00:23:37 |
Or we could lead them |
00:23:43 |
blossoms into a lifetime of love |
00:23:46 |
lt would be a major step |
00:23:50 |
Right. |
00:23:51 |
The whole lifetime of love |
00:23:54 |
lt's just that...she never has... |
00:23:58 |
And l think a life without orgasms |
00:24:07 |
l couldn't agree with you more. |
00:24:41 |
Yeah, l do. l do. |
00:24:50 |
No. No. Go. |
00:24:52 |
Ewww. Gross. |
00:25:00 |
Other side. |
00:25:02 |
Oh yeah. |
00:25:07 |
Take it. |
00:25:31 |
Okay, listen. |
00:25:33 |
-No. No. |
00:25:35 |
What if l were to tell you |
00:25:36 |
that you could still |
00:25:38 |
but all you had to do was go out |
00:25:44 |
Does she have a vagina? |
00:25:46 |
Yeah. |
00:25:48 |
Actually, you're gonna have to |
00:25:54 |
ls this woman you in a dress? |
00:25:58 |
No. No. This is a real woman. |
00:26:01 |
But l have to be honest. |
00:26:04 |
She's not necessarily pretty. |
00:26:08 |
None of my girlfriends |
00:26:10 |
Good. |
00:26:16 |
This is nice. |
00:26:23 |
l'm gonna have her legs |
00:26:26 |
Get her dude. |
00:26:30 |
Oh, these are shoulder blades. |
00:26:36 |
l thought they were wings. |
00:26:38 |
l noticed you from across the bar. |
00:26:40 |
And do you know what the |
00:26:42 |
Her daddy must be a baker "cause |
00:26:46 |
Do you really think |
00:26:48 |
is a few hair plugs |
00:26:51 |
$250 jeans...to impress a girl |
00:26:56 |
Or didn't that occur to you |
00:26:58 |
while you were schlepping away |
00:27:01 |
to afford a few more of those |
00:27:04 |
Which, by the way, |
00:27:04 |
will never hide that you |
00:27:07 |
you haven't had to pay for |
00:27:09 |
So why don't you and your starry |
00:27:12 |
take a little walk back to the bar, |
00:27:15 |
And give my friend some space in |
00:27:20 |
Who told you |
00:27:23 |
What? |
00:27:28 |
What'd l tell you? |
00:27:29 |
Pay our bar tab, bitch. |
00:27:32 |
What did she say? |
00:27:37 |
Oh god, they're here. |
00:27:39 |
Oh my god, they're here. |
00:27:40 |
God, l'm so nervous. |
00:27:42 |
Don't be nervous. |
00:27:43 |
Just do as l said. |
00:27:45 |
Right. |
00:27:46 |
Keep drinking. |
00:27:48 |
Well that...and just be yourself. |
00:27:51 |
-Okay? |
00:27:55 |
Steal yourself, Cole Slawsen. |
00:27:57 |
Oh, my name's not Cole Slawsen. |
00:27:59 |
Oh...right. |
00:28:02 |
Like l said, |
00:28:04 |
-as long as she's female. |
00:28:11 |
Oh my god, it has whiskers. |
00:28:15 |
And no teeth. |
00:28:16 |
Oh, no. |
00:28:17 |
She has teeth. |
00:28:20 |
They're just not |
00:28:22 |
lt's fine. lt's fine. |
00:28:32 |
Hello, ladies. |
00:28:35 |
Cole Slawsen, |
00:28:39 |
Hello. |
00:28:41 |
And the lovely June Phigg. |
00:28:45 |
Nice to meet you. |
00:28:47 |
-lt speaks. |
00:28:49 |
l can't do this |
00:28:51 |
You were rolling down your |
00:28:53 |
l want to be released |
00:28:54 |
-ls it me? |
00:28:54 |
l'll triple your offer, Cole. |
00:28:57 |
Fine. |
00:28:58 |
We are too excited to do |
00:29:03 |
Woo. |
00:29:09 |
Now remember to stay focused, |
00:29:13 |
lf you start to panic, |
00:29:15 |
And go into your tranquil haven. |
00:29:21 |
l am a mighty warrior, |
00:29:24 |
l admire your commitment |
00:29:26 |
Now, where's that driver guy? |
00:29:28 |
-Captain. |
00:29:30 |
l told him to be here by three. |
00:29:31 |
Ahoy! Sorry l'm late, folks. |
00:29:35 |
Just had to grab my keys |
00:29:37 |
And l'm not feeling too well. |
00:29:42 |
You're going to have to find |
00:29:45 |
Out of my way! |
00:29:48 |
-Oh, shucks. |
00:29:51 |
Breathe. Look at the beauty. |
00:29:54 |
Drink some of this. |
00:29:58 |
Okay. |
00:29:59 |
What we're going to do now is |
00:30:03 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. |
00:30:05 |
We need you for the date. |
00:30:09 |
Now this is |
00:30:11 |
Sun in my face, wind in my hair. |
00:30:14 |
The smell of salt in the air. |
00:30:17 |
lsn't this great? |
00:30:20 |
Magnificent. |
00:30:23 |
Okay...June, |
00:30:29 |
lt's a lot better, thanks. |
00:30:31 |
This guy l work with at the zoo. |
00:30:32 |
He works with the gorillas. |
00:30:34 |
He actually mixed up a compound for |
00:30:37 |
Okay, anyone want another drink? |
00:30:41 |
Yes, yes. |
00:30:42 |
Absolutely. |
00:30:48 |
Are you okay? |
00:30:51 |
Never better. |
00:30:52 |
Cole has a little bit of |
00:30:56 |
l also have irritable |
00:31:01 |
And involuntary |
00:31:05 |
There it goes. |
00:31:06 |
l think l need to be excused. |
00:31:07 |
-You know what? You shouldn't go. |
00:31:08 |
You should probably stay around. |
00:31:09 |
-No, l shouldn't. |
00:31:11 |
No, l can't do this. |
00:31:12 |
Look at her. |
00:31:12 |
No, no, no. |
00:31:13 |
You're not going to go. |
00:31:14 |
You're not going anywhere. |
00:31:19 |
You know what? |
00:31:21 |
Let's play a game. |
00:31:22 |
We're going to play a game. |
00:31:23 |
lt's gonna be fun. |
00:31:25 |
lf the two of you could go |
00:31:31 |
Where would it be? |
00:31:33 |
Home. |
00:31:34 |
Okay |
00:31:35 |
You know... You know what? |
00:31:35 |
This is a question for me. |
00:31:37 |
Nate. l'll take this one. |
00:31:39 |
lf Nate could go anywhere in |
00:31:45 |
His dream date would be...Venice. |
00:31:50 |
-Venice? |
00:31:51 |
That would be my dream date too. |
00:31:53 |
Really? |
00:31:55 |
Anywhere in particular? |
00:31:57 |
No, nowhere really. |
00:32:00 |
l just heard it was a great place |
00:32:03 |
Well, it's a gorgeous day out |
00:32:08 |
Let's go get some sun. |
00:32:09 |
Let's do it...Cole Slawsen. |
00:32:12 |
Get our tan up. |
00:32:54 |
Breathe. |
00:33:08 |
l got this. |
00:33:12 |
l'm a mighty warrior. |
00:33:15 |
Fearless and strong. |
00:33:17 |
Come stop me. |
00:33:21 |
Nate, good news. |
00:33:22 |
l just my toenail. |
00:33:44 |
You know, he's just cooling off. |
00:33:46 |
The Coast Guard will |
00:34:05 |
This should cheer us up. |
00:34:07 |
Good idea. |
00:34:08 |
More alcohol. |
00:34:09 |
That'll help. |
00:34:13 |
Oh...dropped it. |
00:34:17 |
Completely forgot l had this. |
00:34:19 |
They were giving these out to all |
00:34:23 |
Some sort of a promotion. |
00:34:25 |
What is it? |
00:34:26 |
Gift certificate to a chi-chi |
00:34:31 |
Ha. Look at that. |
00:34:31 |
lt's for two people. |
00:34:33 |
You know what? |
00:34:34 |
The two of you |
00:34:35 |
l mean, |
00:34:38 |
Nate, this is for $2,000 worth |
00:34:42 |
You don't say. |
00:34:44 |
No, you and Cris should |
00:34:46 |
l don't do well |
00:34:48 |
They tend to backfire. |
00:34:51 |
That Cole was an idiot. |
00:34:54 |
l saw plenty of other guys |
00:34:57 |
Stop it, Cris. Come on. |
00:35:00 |
We both know the only |
00:35:02 |
...is when they crawl |
00:35:05 |
What about that guy who gave |
00:35:08 |
He was a dermatologist. |
00:35:10 |
Well, he did offer to remove |
00:35:13 |
That's cool |
00:35:13 |
He could have been flirting. |
00:35:16 |
l heard somewhere that 95 percent |
00:35:20 |
is the way you see yourself. |
00:35:23 |
Stop being |
00:35:26 |
What am l supposed to do? |
00:35:27 |
Pretend they're all blind? |
00:35:29 |
l'm just saying you could try to |
00:35:33 |
Men like a little mystery. |
00:35:36 |
Absolutely we do. Yes. |
00:35:39 |
Unraveling the fairer sex is |
00:35:44 |
Oh yeah. l'm the mysterious |
00:35:48 |
Nothing says subtle like an |
00:35:52 |
June, don't be |
00:35:54 |
You know what? |
00:35:56 |
lt's fine. |
00:35:56 |
lt's fine. |
00:35:58 |
l know my place in life. |
00:36:00 |
l allow your many suitors |
00:36:02 |
l'm a nice guy so l'm |
00:36:06 |
in the hopes that |
00:36:07 |
of your perfect breasts routine. |
00:36:09 |
Right, Nate? |
00:36:13 |
She's a little drunk. |
00:36:15 |
You know, June, some people think |
00:36:20 |
A vessel that carries our soul |
00:36:22 |
until you pass on from this |
00:36:28 |
l don't even know |
00:36:30 |
Yeah, l'm sort of with |
00:36:33 |
l'm just trying to help, okay? |
00:36:36 |
Great. |
00:36:37 |
Well...thanks for the help. |
00:36:46 |
l'm such a bad friend. |
00:36:48 |
No, that's ridiculous. |
00:36:49 |
You were just trying to help. |
00:36:50 |
Come on. |
00:36:51 |
You're absolutely |
00:36:53 |
l'm not. |
00:36:54 |
l'm horrible. |
00:36:56 |
l really made a promise to be |
00:36:59 |
You've been so sweet and |
00:37:03 |
l'm really becoming |
00:37:07 |
You are? |
00:37:08 |
And poor June's in there |
00:37:11 |
Oh, no, no, no. |
00:37:12 |
Don't worry about her. |
00:37:13 |
She's not crying. |
00:37:14 |
She's probably |
00:37:18 |
l really like you, Nate. |
00:37:20 |
Yeah? |
00:37:21 |
And you're gonna |
00:37:24 |
l've thought about you |
00:37:27 |
Really? |
00:37:28 |
l even used to look at our old |
00:37:33 |
lf someone were standing here |
00:37:36 |
l would think they were crazy. |
00:37:39 |
Or a pedophile. |
00:37:43 |
But none of that matters now... |
00:37:44 |
because l can't |
00:37:48 |
Look, l have a confession to make. |
00:37:52 |
When you told me you |
00:37:54 |
till June had |
00:37:56 |
l did see her as an obstacle. |
00:38:00 |
l lied about the spa promotion. |
00:38:02 |
l paid for it. |
00:38:03 |
To give June a stealth makeover. |
00:38:05 |
That's so sneaky. |
00:38:07 |
l know it's awful. |
00:38:09 |
But now l really do |
00:38:12 |
And l think l can. |
00:38:13 |
But l need your help. |
00:38:15 |
You know what? |
00:38:17 |
l believe you. |
00:38:18 |
Good. |
00:38:19 |
Now stick with me. |
00:38:21 |
l got a plan. |
00:38:30 |
Are you guys sure this won't |
00:38:33 |
Define residual. |
00:38:37 |
Okay. |
00:38:38 |
What we're going to do here today |
00:38:39 |
is a combination of |
00:38:42 |
and do it yourself hypnosis. |
00:38:47 |
Ma'am? Excuse me. |
00:38:50 |
Hi. Could l um... |
00:39:02 |
Are you insane? |
00:39:04 |
No. Uh... |
00:39:09 |
Okay. |
00:39:13 |
Mmm...isn't it creamy |
00:39:16 |
What a delightful reward for |
00:39:23 |
No, no. |
00:39:24 |
This is the good part. |
00:39:27 |
l don't think l can do this. |
00:39:29 |
No, no, no. |
00:39:30 |
Let's not dwell in the negative, |
00:39:33 |
Your Medieval Times |
00:39:37 |
Huh? |
00:39:38 |
Okay...get the pendant. |
00:39:47 |
Your eyes are getting very heavy. |
00:39:51 |
No. |
00:39:53 |
l am going to |
00:39:56 |
And when l finish you will |
00:39:59 |
to the sound of |
00:40:02 |
Ten, nine, eight, seven six. |
00:40:11 |
Five... |
00:40:13 |
Four, three, two... |
00:40:21 |
One. |
00:40:29 |
You will open your eyes. |
00:40:31 |
And listen very carefully. |
00:40:35 |
When you see this... |
00:40:38 |
what you actually will be |
00:40:44 |
Hi, Space Lady. |
00:40:48 |
Good. |
00:40:51 |
When l count to four |
00:40:53 |
You will wake up refreshed, |
00:40:57 |
nothing of what happened today. |
00:40:59 |
You will, however, |
00:41:02 |
until which time you hear the phrase, |
00:41:06 |
"l love ... |
00:41:12 |
Midget ...mimes? |
00:41:19 |
l love midget mimes. |
00:41:22 |
Good. |
00:41:23 |
One... |
00:41:24 |
Two, three, four. |
00:41:37 |
Oh, resistance is futile. |
00:41:52 |
Wow, you guys look amazing. |
00:41:56 |
June's going back next week |
00:00:04 |
you two supermodels |
00:00:26 |
l can't believe l'm doing this. |
00:00:28 |
l haven't had fat |
00:00:30 |
Whatever you've been doing... |
00:00:33 |
it is working, you saucy minx. |
00:00:36 |
The spa said |
00:00:38 |
Yeah. |
00:00:39 |
They also gave me Rogaine |
00:00:40 |
and prescriptions for my skin |
00:00:44 |
l'm really sorry if my toenail |
00:00:47 |
lt was really embarrassing. |
00:00:48 |
how could l ever be grossed out |
00:00:52 |
pouty lipped inter---gallactic |
00:00:57 |
Thank the gods you were |
00:01:00 |
Borg Collective through |
00:01:01 |
your upper spinal |
00:01:05 |
What? |
00:01:07 |
Cole is a Trekkie. |
00:01:10 |
lsn't that fun? |
00:01:11 |
So that is the highest |
00:01:15 |
ln this galaxy or any other. |
00:01:19 |
Let's keep walking. |
00:01:20 |
A little separation is fine. |
00:01:23 |
You know, Cole, the pier is |
00:01:26 |
Yeah, l like to come down here |
00:01:29 |
when everybody's gone. |
00:01:31 |
That way none of the tourists |
00:01:34 |
with them for five dollars. |
00:01:37 |
You are a fiery goddess |
00:01:39 |
to match your stunning countenance. |
00:01:42 |
Oh, you've got a little... |
00:01:44 |
l'll get it. |
00:01:51 |
You know what? |
00:01:52 |
Let's leave these two little |
00:01:55 |
-l don't think that's the best idea. |
00:01:56 |
-No, seriously. |
00:01:59 |
He's just a little strange. |
00:02:00 |
We all are in some ways, you know. |
00:02:10 |
You've got to be kidding me. |
00:02:11 |
Oh, look, Daddy. |
00:02:13 |
l love midget mimes. |
00:02:25 |
They're called little people, |
00:02:36 |
Oh, l totally forgot to tell you |
00:02:39 |
that Cole had |
00:02:42 |
with a mime as a child. |
00:02:44 |
Oh, it was awful. |
00:02:47 |
lt was his 5th birthday party and |
00:02:51 |
unfortunately he caught the mime |
00:02:54 |
performing personal services |
00:02:56 |
But, hey, look, this is fun. |
00:03:10 |
This might be good. |
00:03:38 |
l'm not going to stand for this. |
00:03:39 |
Excuse me. |
00:03:44 |
Don't mind him. |
00:03:46 |
He's a sad little man. |
00:03:53 |
l'm Johann. |
00:04:02 |
Sorry there's no antipasto... |
00:04:05 |
This is all l could whip up. |
00:04:08 |
-Nice place. |
00:04:10 |
lt's cold and a little windy. |
00:04:13 |
Here's to new friends. |
00:04:15 |
Cheers. |
00:04:18 |
Cherrios. |
00:04:19 |
God, this view is incredible. |
00:04:22 |
You can even see |
00:04:24 |
l like to go down there sometimes. |
00:04:26 |
Hang out with the crowds. |
00:04:28 |
People watch. |
00:04:30 |
lt could get a little lonely |
00:04:40 |
So...Johann...are you |
00:04:48 |
No, l grew up in Europe. |
00:04:50 |
My parents run |
00:04:52 |
school in the Swiss Alps. |
00:04:54 |
l moved here when l was |
00:04:56 |
Where did you go to college? |
00:04:59 |
Harvard. |
00:05:01 |
Oh...Right. |
00:05:03 |
Oh, it's really not |
00:05:06 |
My parents didn't have to spend |
00:05:08 |
for me just to become a dentist. |
00:05:11 |
You're a dentist? |
00:05:12 |
Yeah, l love it. |
00:05:14 |
lt's so fulfilling. |
00:05:17 |
Of course, l did take a few years |
00:05:23 |
Let me get this straight. |
00:05:24 |
You went to Harvard |
00:05:27 |
and now you're a dentist? |
00:05:29 |
Yeah, l also did |
00:05:32 |
just so my folks wouldn't have |
00:05:35 |
l still do it every now and |
00:05:39 |
Oh my god, l've seen you. |
00:05:41 |
Were you on the cover of |
00:05:44 |
Yeah. l didn't see it. |
00:05:46 |
l was in Central Asia |
00:05:49 |
doing Doctors Without Borders. |
00:05:52 |
My group's done some |
00:05:54 |
They really do |
00:05:56 |
lt's the most rewarding |
00:06:02 |
Have you ever done any modeling? |
00:06:05 |
You have unbelievable |
00:06:10 |
Look at! Oh, look at that. |
00:06:13 |
There's the bread. |
00:06:14 |
lt was hiding from me. |
00:06:17 |
This is so weird. |
00:06:19 |
You and Nate have |
00:06:23 |
We do? |
00:06:25 |
We do? |
00:06:26 |
How's that? |
00:06:28 |
Well...you're both really |
00:06:34 |
And Nate, here, |
00:06:38 |
A personal trainer? |
00:06:40 |
Like at a gym? |
00:06:45 |
He's more of a lifestyle coach. |
00:06:47 |
Right, Nate? |
00:06:49 |
-Yeah. |
00:06:52 |
That's it. |
00:06:53 |
All nine of them. |
00:06:55 |
June, if you don't mind me |
00:06:59 |
the most intriguing case of |
00:07:07 |
Please excuse my rudeness. |
00:07:09 |
l just always notice teeth. |
00:07:11 |
You never thought about |
00:07:14 |
Well, l thought about it... |
00:07:16 |
but my insurance doesn't |
00:07:21 |
l bet you never had a cavity. |
00:07:24 |
That's true. |
00:07:25 |
l never have. |
00:07:26 |
You are so lucky. |
00:07:28 |
Most of my patients would love |
00:07:41 |
You are so screwed. |
00:07:43 |
l am? |
00:07:44 |
He's just buttering up the |
00:07:49 |
This is your competition, my man. |
00:07:51 |
Where the hell did you get that? |
00:07:52 |
Mom saves old issues. |
00:07:54 |
l'll put it back on her bed |
00:07:58 |
l'm not sure |
00:08:00 |
l actually think he likes June. |
00:08:02 |
Well has he ever technically |
00:08:05 |
Well, not really. |
00:08:07 |
Any one on one action whatsoever? |
00:08:11 |
He offered to fix her teeth. |
00:08:13 |
Then he hasn't closed |
00:08:16 |
He's just doing a favor for her |
00:08:21 |
You're going through |
00:08:24 |
He's going through |
00:08:26 |
He's a back door man! lt's a |
00:08:30 |
No. But what if Cristabel |
00:08:33 |
Or what if it's locked, |
00:08:34 |
and everybody just |
00:08:36 |
Oh, l'm not interested in you. |
00:08:39 |
l just want to be friends. |
00:08:41 |
Oh, oh, excuse me is that |
00:08:50 |
What am l going to do? |
00:08:51 |
Easy. You shadow him. |
00:08:55 |
Shadow him? |
00:08:56 |
Yeah, just make sure they're |
00:08:58 |
where he can impress her without |
00:09:02 |
What you can't do, |
00:09:03 |
is let him show you up |
00:09:06 |
lf he ever tries to take off his |
00:09:09 |
you got to make sure it only |
00:09:12 |
Shirt stays on. Got it. |
00:09:14 |
And secondly if his shirt ever |
00:09:18 |
poke out her eyes. |
00:09:19 |
Eyes poked out. |
00:09:21 |
Thirdly, lie. |
00:09:23 |
Lie? |
00:09:24 |
Oh, come on. |
00:09:25 |
l thought that the most |
00:09:27 |
was to be honest. |
00:09:29 |
l'm sorry. |
00:09:30 |
Are you a former Marine |
00:09:33 |
and fixes needy |
00:09:36 |
l got two words for you, my man. |
00:09:38 |
Lie. |
00:09:54 |
The perfect people have left the |
00:09:59 |
Save yourself, Nate. |
00:10:01 |
No, l'm not letting you go. |
00:10:06 |
Not on my watch. |
00:10:08 |
Stop! |
00:10:09 |
Stop, please. |
00:10:11 |
This is awful. |
00:10:13 |
God, you're telling me? |
00:10:14 |
l'm not even |
00:10:16 |
l had my skin lasered last week. |
00:10:18 |
Really? |
00:10:19 |
Oh, yeah, l'm nubby. |
00:10:23 |
Johann is making |
00:10:26 |
l had to shave down her teeth |
00:10:29 |
She's going to |
00:10:33 |
Can you believe |
00:10:35 |
Super generous. |
00:10:37 |
And clearly |
00:10:39 |
The truth is, |
00:10:42 |
l can show the before and |
00:10:45 |
That's perfect. |
00:10:46 |
Just gives me more motivation to |
00:10:59 |
Speaking of natural beauty... |
00:11:03 |
Let's go. |
00:11:05 |
Come, guys |
00:11:07 |
Am l bleeding? |
00:11:09 |
Only on the inside. |
00:11:17 |
Cessna. |
00:11:19 |
That's a beaut. |
00:11:22 |
-Where? |
00:11:27 |
Johann's a pilot. |
00:11:28 |
Of course he is. |
00:11:30 |
Do you fly, Nate? |
00:11:32 |
Yeah. Yeah. |
00:11:33 |
l fly planes. |
00:11:34 |
That's what l do. |
00:11:36 |
You fly? |
00:11:38 |
Yeah. |
00:11:39 |
l mean, to and fro... by and by. |
00:11:43 |
l like to do flips and uh |
00:11:49 |
You're a stunt pilot? |
00:11:50 |
Yeah...uh...not professionally, no. |
00:11:54 |
l like to take the kids up |
00:11:59 |
-The kids? |
00:12:03 |
Yeah. |
00:12:04 |
Most of the time it's the |
00:12:06 |
Oh, god it's just... |
00:12:10 |
when the G forces hit them. |
00:12:14 |
l just can't describe it, |
00:12:17 |
lt's the most rewarding thing |
00:12:22 |
So let me get this straight. |
00:12:23 |
You're not a professional pilot, |
00:12:28 |
by doing dangerous |
00:12:31 |
Uh...yeah...yeah. |
00:12:33 |
ln my flying dream.... |
00:12:36 |
that l have. |
00:12:37 |
Just a little game with the kids. |
00:12:39 |
Didn't l mention it was a dream? |
00:12:41 |
No, you didn't mention that. |
00:12:43 |
Oh, yeah. l could see |
00:12:46 |
No. lt's-it's-it's |
00:12:50 |
Just me and the kids. |
00:12:52 |
Them riding on my back, |
00:12:55 |
Like a...male heterosexual |
00:13:03 |
-Are you done? |
00:13:06 |
Wow. Okay. Yeah. |
00:13:08 |
Flying dreams. |
00:13:09 |
l for one love flying dreams. |
00:13:12 |
How often do you have these |
00:13:13 |
heterosexual male angel |
00:13:17 |
Oh, l don't know June, |
00:13:19 |
Once or twice a year. |
00:13:22 |
Oh my god, me too. |
00:13:24 |
And then there's |
00:13:26 |
when you first wake up and you |
00:13:29 |
Do you guys ever get those? |
00:13:32 |
Every night. |
00:13:35 |
Every night? |
00:13:38 |
l saw on Oprah that flying dreams |
00:13:42 |
You can accomplish anything. |
00:13:45 |
Makes sense. |
00:13:47 |
You must be extremely advanced |
00:13:48 |
ln the soul level. |
00:13:50 |
Even Oprah only has them |
00:13:53 |
l don't know about my soul, |
00:13:57 |
in the body temperature level. |
00:13:59 |
As the expression goes, |
00:14:04 |
l believe the expression is: |
00:14:06 |
l have to piss like a racehorse. |
00:14:12 |
There was a scorpion on your back. |
00:14:16 |
There's no scorpions out here. |
00:14:19 |
Or it might have been a tick. |
00:14:22 |
Now he's a mountaineering |
00:14:25 |
Yeah. |
00:14:25 |
We gotta figure out something |
00:14:28 |
Okay. Figure out |
00:14:30 |
l don't know. |
00:14:31 |
What am l good at? |
00:14:33 |
You used to be good at climbing |
00:14:36 |
Okay. |
00:14:37 |
Good at climbing rope. |
00:14:38 |
But how am l going to work |
00:14:41 |
l don't know. |
00:14:42 |
What did we used to do to |
00:14:44 |
Oh yeah. Yeah. |
00:14:46 |
l could dance. |
00:14:48 |
Of course, l'll have to leave out |
00:14:50 |
-That's the best part. |
00:14:52 |
What else you got in your arsenal? |
00:14:57 |
Remember, we used to rock |
00:15:00 |
Wait a minute. |
00:15:02 |
l got the perfect thing. |
00:15:04 |
What's the perfect thing? |
00:15:06 |
Hello? |
00:15:14 |
These old coffee houses remind me |
00:15:18 |
Hey, who wants to hear |
00:15:23 |
Ooh, what a unique piece. |
00:15:26 |
May l? |
00:15:29 |
Uh, yeah. |
00:15:31 |
Took a little damage. |
00:15:32 |
Recently. |
00:15:34 |
l'm sure we can make |
00:15:54 |
Some day... |
00:15:57 |
Some how... |
00:16:01 |
You'll find... |
00:16:04 |
You'll shine like the sun. |
00:16:14 |
Some day... |
00:16:18 |
Some how, you'll find... |
00:16:24 |
You'll find... |
00:16:25 |
What you've been... |
00:16:27 |
Looking for... |
00:16:35 |
Some day. Some... |
00:16:39 |
Times, it's nice to see them... |
00:16:45 |
...fireflies burning |
00:17:10 |
More. More. |
00:17:11 |
Oh, it works. |
00:17:25 |
lt's loud in here, huh. |
00:17:26 |
Huh? |
00:17:27 |
-lt's loud in here. |
00:17:30 |
What's up with all the hats? |
00:17:31 |
Oh, the Rogaine's working. |
00:17:35 |
Yeah, it's just that weird |
00:17:38 |
Cool. |
00:17:39 |
Plus l'm trying to avoid being |
00:17:43 |
Heard they were pretty common |
00:17:49 |
This song is amazing. |
00:17:52 |
l love this song. |
00:17:55 |
Care to dance? |
00:17:56 |
Ooh. l'm going to sit this out. |
00:17:58 |
But yeah, |
00:18:00 |
Back in the playground days, |
00:18:07 |
What's... |
00:18:09 |
He stole my mojo. |
00:18:10 |
Ooh, that was hard. |
00:18:11 |
Come on, l did the collar thing. |
00:18:13 |
l was telling her |
00:18:15 |
What did l do wrong? |
00:18:16 |
What? We going to |
00:18:19 |
Come on. Don't you like it. |
00:18:21 |
-Oh, yeah. |
00:18:23 |
lt's better than |
00:18:25 |
l wish there was a prom |
00:18:27 |
... "cause l would have rocked it. |
00:18:29 |
Stop it. |
00:18:30 |
Hey we can tango, too, mama. |
00:18:32 |
Come on. |
00:18:34 |
Don't get dizzy now. |
00:18:46 |
Another round? |
00:18:48 |
Yes. Another round would be great. |
00:18:49 |
Let's do another round. |
00:18:49 |
Another round. |
00:18:59 |
Wow, look at this. |
00:19:01 |
Back in my country, |
00:19:05 |
Ooh, the hands. |
00:19:22 |
Oh, come on. |
00:19:23 |
Come on. |
00:19:25 |
One small scrap of dignity left. |
00:19:29 |
-No. |
00:19:32 |
Excuse me. |
00:19:33 |
Step aside. |
00:19:34 |
Excuse me. |
00:19:47 |
l've known a lot of jealous men |
00:19:49 |
But you take the cake. |
00:19:51 |
Well if Men's Abs in there would |
00:19:53 |
He was hot! |
00:19:54 |
Oh, he was hot. |
00:19:55 |
He was sweating like a racehorse. |
00:19:58 |
The man sweats urine. |
00:20:00 |
Look just admit that he's hot. |
00:20:03 |
Johann is hot. |
00:20:05 |
Oh, so you're |
00:20:07 |
ls that it? |
00:20:08 |
No, l'm not. |
00:20:09 |
But you are. |
00:20:10 |
And why wouldn't you be? |
00:20:11 |
He's some kind of |
00:20:14 |
l don't blame you, okay. |
00:20:16 |
He's perfect. |
00:20:18 |
He's the male version of you. |
00:20:20 |
Oh, so now l'm a pod person. |
00:20:22 |
No. |
00:20:23 |
You're just. |
00:20:26 |
l mean, look at you. |
00:20:28 |
You're out of my league. |
00:20:30 |
You're in Johann's league... |
00:20:31 |
And l can't compete with that. |
00:20:35 |
You didn't have to compete. |
00:20:37 |
l was with you. |
00:20:40 |
l really liked you, Nate. |
00:20:43 |
l thought you were different. |
00:20:45 |
That you actually |
00:20:47 |
And that you wanted to |
00:20:49 |
l did want to help June. |
00:20:51 |
And you know what? |
00:20:52 |
l am out of your league. |
00:20:54 |
You can't sing. |
00:20:56 |
You can't dance. |
00:20:57 |
You're a terrible athlete. |
00:20:59 |
And a really crappy liar. |
00:21:03 |
l took the time to |
00:21:07 |
l really wish you did |
00:21:09 |
Cris, Cris. |
00:21:10 |
Hold on. |
00:21:12 |
Look, l made mistakes. |
00:21:14 |
l lied. |
00:21:15 |
l'm not perfect. |
00:21:17 |
But...it's still me. |
00:21:20 |
You know? |
00:21:21 |
Nate Cooper. |
00:21:23 |
l'm sorry, Nate. |
00:21:25 |
lt's over. |
00:21:33 |
Oh, come on. |
00:21:34 |
Here's your car, Loser. |
00:21:37 |
When you just |
00:21:39 |
and that's why |
00:21:41 |
a product that gives them the |
00:21:44 |
You see exercise should be |
00:21:48 |
And, of course get you results. |
00:21:50 |
Time is one thing we all wish |
00:21:54 |
Look at you. |
00:21:56 |
You sad, sad man. |
00:22:00 |
Well, l'm crashing |
00:22:02 |
Oh, yeah, |
00:22:06 |
But there's still hope for you. |
00:22:12 |
You dick! |
00:22:13 |
l can hear you. |
00:22:15 |
You're a foot away from me. |
00:22:16 |
Look, okay. |
00:22:17 |
There's going to be |
00:22:18 |
... waiting for you if |
00:22:20 |
lt's like what a wise |
00:22:23 |
lf you give up on your dream, |
00:22:29 |
Are you quoting me Flashdance? |
00:22:30 |
There's only one person |
00:22:34 |
She'll meet you |
00:22:36 |
at five o'clock. |
00:22:39 |
Five o'clock. |
00:22:57 |
Hey. |
00:23:00 |
June? |
00:23:01 |
Yeah, that's what |
00:23:03 |
Your teeth. |
00:23:04 |
Oh yeah. |
00:23:05 |
Johann did the veneers yesterday. |
00:23:07 |
What do you think? |
00:23:09 |
Wow. You look so...normal. |
00:23:13 |
Oh, l bet you say |
00:23:16 |
Oh, my god. l'm sorry. |
00:23:19 |
More evidence of my staggering |
00:23:24 |
No apology necessary. |
00:23:26 |
l mean, come on |
00:23:27 |
l think l look |
00:23:29 |
Yeah l'd have to agree. |
00:23:31 |
Wow, you look great. |
00:23:32 |
Thanks. |
00:23:33 |
Oh on my way over here |
00:23:37 |
but l think l was cat called. |
00:23:38 |
-Really? |
00:23:39 |
l mean, l know that for most women |
00:23:43 |
but when the guy with the rattail |
00:23:47 |
where he put his hands like... |
00:23:48 |
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah... |
00:23:49 |
l know it. |
00:23:50 |
Okay, well anyway... |
00:23:51 |
l looked all around... |
00:23:52 |
and l realized l was |
00:23:55 |
l mean, he was talking to me! |
00:23:57 |
l was so excited, |
00:24:00 |
l swear to God. |
00:24:01 |
You didn't, though, did you? |
00:24:03 |
Please. |
00:24:03 |
Even l have my standards. |
00:24:05 |
l don't know, though, |
00:24:07 |
So many rattails, no little time. |
00:24:12 |
lt's like a shock to the system. |
00:24:14 |
You have a whole new look. |
00:24:16 |
Don't start. |
00:24:19 |
Well, to be quite honest with you, |
00:24:22 |
l borrowed the top from Cristabel. |
00:24:24 |
l thought there was |
00:24:26 |
... that made me |
00:24:28 |
Poor Nate. |
00:24:29 |
Oh. |
00:24:34 |
What? |
00:24:37 |
Do l have a booger in my nose? |
00:24:40 |
No...just... |
00:24:46 |
l'm happy for you. |
00:24:48 |
l'm happy for me, too. |
00:24:49 |
Good. |
00:24:50 |
l'm glad we agree on something. |
00:24:51 |
Finally. |
00:24:53 |
Hey, Randy. |
00:24:54 |
Hey, Stan. |
00:24:55 |
-Hey, Nate. |
00:25:08 |
Here, l want you to try |
00:25:09 |
-some of mine. |
00:25:11 |
Just try it. |
00:25:12 |
ls it better? |
00:25:13 |
"Cause l think l got |
00:25:15 |
No, l got the better one. |
00:25:16 |
You gave yourself the better one? |
00:25:17 |
- Yeah. |
00:25:18 |
l'm the guest. |
00:25:19 |
You didn't know and |
00:25:21 |
That's a good point. |
00:25:22 |
l wouldn't have known. |
00:25:24 |
So, how's Johann? |
00:25:27 |
Good... l don't know. |
00:25:32 |
That was a steady decline. |
00:25:35 |
Well, he hasn't |
00:25:37 |
l can't really tell |
00:25:41 |
Anyway, what's to like, right? |
00:25:43 |
What's to like? |
00:25:45 |
Oh, come on, |
00:25:47 |
There's plenty to like. |
00:25:49 |
Such as? |
00:25:50 |
You can really hold your liquor. |
00:25:56 |
Sarcasm will get you everywhere. |
00:26:03 |
Let me ask you a question. |
00:26:10 |
ls this pointless? |
00:26:16 |
Am l ever going to have |
00:26:23 |
Oh...yeah. Of course you will. |
00:26:29 |
Because um...because l'm... |
00:26:32 |
l'm going to tell her |
00:26:37 |
Our annual costume party |
00:26:39 |
...so you'll both be there. |
00:26:42 |
Well, that's great. |
00:26:44 |
Yeah. |
00:26:45 |
And you're going to |
00:26:51 |
-What's that supposed to mean? |
00:26:53 |
Listen, we've built this |
00:26:56 |
l think we need to keep it there. |
00:26:57 |
-All right. |
00:26:58 |
Well, if we're both being |
00:27:00 |
Yeah. |
00:27:01 |
Why don't you bring |
00:27:02 |
and that guitar you clearly |
00:27:04 |
Okay. |
00:27:05 |
As long as you bring |
00:27:08 |
with the granny panties |
00:27:10 |
Don't make fun |
00:27:13 |
God. l mean, who really |
00:27:15 |
... as the girl who's |
00:27:17 |
What? No, that's not true. |
00:27:20 |
l totally planted one on you |
00:27:23 |
Are you out of your mind? |
00:27:25 |
No, l'm not out of my mind. |
00:27:26 |
That was not a kiss. |
00:27:27 |
That was you falling into me. |
00:27:29 |
That's what l did. |
00:27:29 |
l got the---Okay, fine. |
00:27:39 |
Oh...well... |
00:27:45 |
l'm sorry. l, uh... |
00:27:49 |
l don't know why l did that. |
00:27:53 |
You don't know |
00:27:58 |
-No. |
00:28:01 |
-June. |
00:28:03 |
June, listen, |
00:28:07 |
Get out of here. |
00:28:08 |
Before your girlfriend gets back. |
00:28:43 |
Excuse me. |
00:28:50 |
Traffic's heavy today. |
00:28:51 |
Beep. Beep. Beep. |
00:28:52 |
You better have insurance. |
00:29:10 |
There's my girl. |
00:29:18 |
Come on. |
00:29:19 |
l want to show you off |
00:29:20 |
Looking good, buddy. |
00:29:21 |
Looking good. |
00:29:23 |
Yeah, you too. |
00:29:24 |
Oh, by the way, |
00:29:26 |
and l smoothed everything over, |
00:29:29 |
Although l should warn you, |
00:29:33 |
Oh Coopie... |
00:29:36 |
What can l say? |
00:29:37 |
l've always wanted to be a bride. |
00:29:40 |
Every little girl's dream, right? |
00:29:44 |
Right. |
00:29:46 |
You don't have to say a thing. |
00:29:50 |
June told me what happened. |
00:29:53 |
-She did? |
00:29:56 |
You were just being protective |
00:29:59 |
Yes, right. |
00:30:02 |
l may have misjudged you, |
00:30:07 |
Oops. |
00:30:09 |
Don't worry. |
00:30:10 |
lt wasn't a smelly one. |
00:30:12 |
l can tell by the way they sound. |
00:30:14 |
That's good. |
00:30:21 |
Shit! |
00:30:22 |
Sorry. |
00:30:26 |
...listen. |
00:30:27 |
l read somewhere about white |
00:30:30 |
Okay. |
00:30:31 |
l don't know if that--- |
00:30:34 |
Oh, god. |
00:30:36 |
lt's not working! |
00:30:38 |
lt's not working! |
00:30:39 |
lt's not working! |
00:30:40 |
l have to go. |
00:30:43 |
You know, l think Grace Kelly |
00:30:46 |
-Come on. |
00:31:11 |
Oh hey there, little buddy. |
00:31:13 |
Just about to finish these pesto |
00:31:18 |
Why don't you have a taste |
00:31:27 |
They're wonderful. |
00:31:29 |
Of course. |
00:31:30 |
Absolutely wonderful. |
00:31:32 |
You're wonderful. |
00:31:33 |
Everything you do is wonderful. |
00:31:37 |
l've never seen June happier. |
00:31:40 |
Thanks, pal. |
00:31:42 |
Don't mention it. |
00:31:43 |
lt was a lot of work, but once |
00:31:47 |
l always get what l want. |
00:31:50 |
You know what? |
00:31:51 |
Fine. |
00:31:52 |
l'm happy for you guys, okay? |
00:31:54 |
l was wrong. |
00:31:55 |
You and June actually |
00:31:58 |
l know. lsn't she amazing? |
00:32:03 |
Yeah. |
00:32:04 |
Yeah, she really is. |
00:32:06 |
Now that she's |
00:32:09 |
there are plenty of guys |
00:32:11 |
New teeth, hair |
00:32:14 |
She's almost beautiful now. |
00:32:18 |
Women like June are just |
00:32:26 |
Yeah, she worked hard. |
00:32:28 |
And l think tonight, |
00:32:33 |
You know what l mean? |
00:32:40 |
What's wrong? |
00:32:41 |
Did l use too much basil? |
00:32:57 |
Nate, what are you doing? |
00:33:01 |
Deep breaths. |
00:33:04 |
One one-thousand... |
00:33:06 |
Two one thousand... |
00:33:14 |
All right, everyone. |
00:33:15 |
Party's over. |
00:33:16 |
Out. |
00:33:25 |
One grain of happiness. |
00:33:27 |
One grain of happiness |
00:33:30 |
l understand you're upset. |
00:33:32 |
But Johann happens to be the devil! |
00:33:34 |
Shut up. |
00:33:35 |
The night of date five, |
00:33:36 |
when it's okay for |
00:33:39 |
to have sex without |
00:33:42 |
June. |
00:33:42 |
The night l was going t |
00:33:44 |
-and leave this freak fest behind. |
00:33:46 |
Shut up! |
00:33:50 |
l helped you. |
00:33:54 |
l could have shot you down |
00:33:55 |
and Cristabel would never |
00:33:58 |
He doesn't love you. |
00:34:02 |
He said that you would be grateful. |
00:34:05 |
l am grateful! |
00:34:13 |
You don't get it, do you. |
00:34:16 |
l don't know. |
00:34:17 |
l've never even had a boyfriend. |
00:34:23 |
He doesn't get you. |
00:34:24 |
He doesn't deserve you. |
00:34:25 |
Oh and you think people get |
00:34:30 |
You think they get |
00:34:33 |
l don't know. |
00:34:33 |
Maybe, yeah. |
00:34:35 |
You know, if they're |
00:34:38 |
lf they're not willing |
00:34:45 |
Well, knowing what you are is |
00:34:53 |
l'm not the girl ... |
00:34:55 |
...the guy runs to, |
00:34:58 |
to tell his feelings for, |
00:35:02 |
Why couldn't you be? |
00:35:03 |
Because not everybody gets |
00:35:09 |
That's okay. |
00:35:12 |
Most of us are just happy... |
00:35:13 |
... to date a guy |
00:35:20 |
That's the thing |
00:35:26 |
They're just not true. |
00:35:40 |
Nate, she "s big girl. |
00:35:43 |
Yeah. l understand that. |
00:35:48 |
lt's sweet how protective |
00:35:50 |
...but if June wants to be |
00:35:53 |
...then that's |
00:35:57 |
Anyway, it's not like she agreed |
00:36:00 |
lt's just one night. |
00:36:03 |
Well, somehow l don't take |
00:36:07 |
Relax, Nate. |
00:36:09 |
You did it. |
00:36:11 |
You found someone for June. |
00:36:14 |
And a deal's a deal. |
00:36:18 |
Now that June gets |
00:36:20 |
...we can get what you want. |
00:36:24 |
Oops, l forgot. |
00:36:27 |
l have a confession to make. |
00:36:30 |
l was kind of testing you tonight. |
00:36:34 |
What do you mean? |
00:36:35 |
This tacky dress... |
00:36:37 |
acting drunk and anxious |
00:36:40 |
and spilling |
00:36:43 |
lt was all an act. |
00:36:46 |
Why? |
00:36:47 |
Well, when you really |
00:36:49 |
...you're willing to |
00:36:52 |
And l just wanted to make sure |
00:37:03 |
Come with me. |
00:37:04 |
l got something to show you. |
00:37:38 |
Here's to |
00:37:55 |
Pick one. |
00:38:05 |
You have excellent taste, |
00:38:08 |
Thanks. |
00:38:09 |
So why don't you |
00:38:12 |
June has some |
00:38:20 |
So was your father a baker |
00:38:26 |
No. Why? |
00:38:29 |
"Cause you've |
00:38:46 |
l want to become a non-virgin. |
00:39:28 |
Don't make any sudden moves. |
00:39:31 |
She's trying to strangle herself |
00:39:38 |
l just wanted to give her this. |
00:39:46 |
Thanks....l guess. |
00:40:23 |
-What's wrong? |
00:40:34 |
Listen, l think... |
00:40:35 |
Oh...okay... |
00:40:40 |
Can you please |
00:40:44 |
Okay. |
00:40:45 |
lt's the first time anyone's |
00:40:48 |
l'm sure. |
00:40:52 |
l think that l just want to talk. |
00:40:55 |
Okay, sure. |
00:40:59 |
Nate... |
00:41:00 |
...you can turn around now. |
00:41:01 |
Right. Turning around. |
00:41:13 |
lt's just...why me? |
00:41:19 |
What do you mean? |
00:41:20 |
There are a million guys |
00:41:25 |
sitting here with you right now. |
00:41:28 |
Why did you pick me? |
00:41:30 |
l didn't pick you. |
00:41:32 |
-You didn't? |
00:41:35 |
lt was fate. Magic. Serendipity. |
00:41:39 |
Right, and that's what l thought, |
00:41:44 |
Well, you know, after all these |
00:41:48 |
and then how we literally ran |
00:41:50 |
Oh, about that. |
00:41:53 |
l tracked you down. |
00:41:55 |
and l found out you were |
00:41:59 |
And l followed you. |
00:42:02 |
You stalked me. |
00:42:03 |
Stalked is a big word. |
00:42:06 |
Uh, listen... |
00:42:11 |
Ever since the first grade... |
00:42:14 |
l thought you were the girl |
00:42:19 |
And now you think you |
00:42:22 |
Let's put it this way. |
00:42:26 |
l think l gave the valentine |
00:42:32 |
Oh my god. |
00:42:35 |
You have to go tell her. |
00:42:37 |
Are you sure? |
00:42:40 |
Nate, l'll be fine. |
00:42:42 |
lt's not like l have trouble |
00:42:45 |
Yeah, you're probably right. |
00:42:47 |
Um...okay. |
00:42:50 |
Go. |
00:42:51 |
Okay. |
00:42:55 |
Way to go, June. |
00:43:14 |
June? |
00:43:29 |
l'm so sorry. |
00:44:15 |
Don't say a word. |
00:44:19 |
l came here not to tell you |
00:44:23 |
which you already |
00:44:25 |
And not to tell you |
00:44:29 |
Which l am. |
00:44:30 |
Desperately. |
00:44:33 |
My entire life, |
00:44:34 |
something has been holding me back |
00:44:37 |
And l thought it was Cristabel. |
00:44:39 |
But l realized that l've just |
00:44:46 |
My last girlfriend, |
00:44:49 |
That's one letter off. |
00:44:51 |
l don't even know |
00:44:52 |
That's dumb. |
00:44:53 |
l'm sorry. |
00:44:54 |
Listen. |
00:44:56 |
l don't deserve you. |
00:44:59 |
Because l didn't take the time |
00:45:07 |
And you have to know |
00:45:13 |
You're the girl that |
00:45:19 |
You're the girl. |
00:45:23 |
You're...you're out of breath. |