|
How To Lose Friends Alienate People
|
| 00:00:47 |
Supposing Queen Elizabeth had been |
| 00:00:54 |
Janet. |
| 00:00:57 |
I'm sorry Ms. Fox, I didn't quite hear. |
| 00:01:01 |
Obviously you're immersed in problems of far |
| 00:01:08 |
When I was a kid, I used to think |
| 00:01:11 |
All the movie stars lived |
| 00:01:13 |
A kind of Shangri La. |
| 00:01:15 |
And if you could just get inside there, |
| 00:01:19 |
Forever. |
| 00:01:24 |
All these years later, |
| 00:01:27 |
I've made it... to Shangri La. |
| 00:01:29 |
My name is Sidney Young. |
| 00:01:33 |
I am a celebrity correspondent. |
| 00:01:35 |
A journalist, a friend to the stars. |
| 00:01:39 |
Yeah... that... that isn't me. |
| 00:01:42 |
This is me. |
| 00:01:44 |
At the Apollo Film Awards |
| 00:01:46 |
That's my Armani tuxedo. |
| 00:01:48 |
That's an Omega Speed Master Pro |
| 00:01:53 |
That's the actress, Sophie Maes. |
| 00:01:56 |
Last night she told me she'd let |
| 00:01:59 |
the best actress award. |
| 00:02:06 |
Oh!... She just won the Best Actress Award |
| 00:02:20 |
My life didn't used to be like this. |
| 00:02:35 |
Only a year ago, my alternative magazine, |
| 00:02:41 |
I needed a big celebrity scoop to save |
| 00:02:45 |
But there was just one problem. |
| 00:02:47 |
To cross the thin red line |
| 00:02:51 |
You had to be famous. |
| 00:02:53 |
Babe? |
| 00:02:54 |
Babe 3 yeah.. |
| 00:02:57 |
But it hasn't got any ID... |
| 00:02:58 |
How many pigs are coming tonight? |
| 00:03:01 |
You want me to leave him with you? |
| 00:03:05 |
No, no, no, you can not leave him here... |
| 00:03:09 |
If you're positive you're supposed to... |
| 00:03:14 |
Well, well... Sidney Young. |
| 00:03:18 |
Well, well, clipboard Nazi type woman. |
| 00:03:22 |
The pig doesn't get in. |
| 00:03:24 |
What about me? |
| 00:03:25 |
I was talking about you. |
| 00:03:31 |
Plan B: If you cannot crash |
| 00:03:33 |
You had to get in to one |
| 00:03:36 |
Of these, the most exclusive, |
| 00:03:40 |
Hosted by legendary editor |
| 00:03:44 |
Here the A-list could finally relax. |
| 00:03:46 |
Safe in the knowledge that no Lookie Loo |
| 00:03:50 |
London's most expensive hotels |
| 00:03:56 |
OK Kevin, I want you in bed |
| 00:03:59 |
And no porn. |
| 00:04:17 |
When I'm in L.A. I like to stay |
| 00:04:21 |
And then when I'm in London I also |
| 00:04:24 |
It's got to the point where I don't |
| 00:04:29 |
Do you know what I mean? |
| 00:04:31 |
What is it you do? |
| 00:04:33 |
I'm a writer, I'm a movie writer. |
| 00:04:35 |
Great. |
| 00:04:41 |
Hello. |
| 00:04:42 |
Sir? |
| 00:04:46 |
Is everything all right? |
| 00:05:07 |
You have the most amazing cheekbones. |
| 00:05:09 |
Have you had plastic surgery? |
| 00:05:11 |
No, and you? |
| 00:05:13 |
Me? No.. |
| 00:05:14 |
Penis reduction when I was a kid... |
| 00:05:22 |
- You are too much! |
| 00:05:24 |
What's your name again? |
| 00:05:27 |
Clark, Clark Baxter. |
| 00:05:29 |
How do you do? |
| 00:05:36 |
Your... little... moustache... |
| 00:05:44 |
Oh shit! |
| 00:05:48 |
Sara, get security. |
| 00:05:49 |
Sidney Young got in. |
| 00:05:51 |
Who's Sidney Young? |
| 00:05:54 |
Oh fuck! |
| 00:05:59 |
Plan C: keep a low profile and leave |
| 00:06:37 |
Can you get that? |
| 00:06:53 |
Can you get the phone please? |
| 00:06:59 |
The post modern review with an English |
| 00:07:05 |
No we don't hate celebrities.. |
| 00:07:09 |
.. I am an internationally respected academic. |
| 00:07:12 |
And prick. |
| 00:07:14 |
You answer the phone, |
| 00:07:16 |
You don't pay me. |
| 00:07:17 |
Answer the phone. |
| 00:07:20 |
Hello, Post Modern Review. |
| 00:07:23 |
If she doesn't apologize, I'm quitting. |
| 00:07:25 |
You're going to have to apologize, |
| 00:07:26 |
Why can't George leave? |
| 00:07:28 |
Because he owns the Fax machine, that's why. |
| 00:07:29 |
What? |
| 00:07:31 |
It's Sharp's magazine. |
| 00:07:37 |
We're finished. |
| 00:07:38 |
We're not finished. |
| 00:07:39 |
If they sue we're finished... |
| 00:07:40 |
It's going to be OK, |
| 00:07:42 |
Be quiet. |
| 00:07:45 |
Sidney Young. |
| 00:07:46 |
This is Clayton Harding, |
| 00:07:49 |
Ah, Lord Vader. |
| 00:07:51 |
I saw you at my party. Just before you |
| 00:07:55 |
Oh, you liked that did you?. |
| 00:07:56 |
Sure. |
| 00:07:58 |
I especially liked the part where |
| 00:08:02 |
Well, you listen to me, |
| 00:08:05 |
You can sue if you like, |
| 00:08:10 |
You sit up there in your spindly little webs, |
| 00:08:14 |
And you think the whole world revolves |
| 00:08:18 |
Mister.. |
| 00:08:20 |
Potter! |
| 00:08:21 |
You may sue us OK, but I warn you |
| 00:08:23 |
- Mr Johnson's here to see you. |
| 00:08:27 |
Destroy me and a hundred men |
| 00:08:31 |
Men who care nothing for success, men who |
| 00:08:35 |
I want you to come to work for me |
| 00:08:38 |
Fight! |
| 00:08:46 |
That's not coming out! |
| 00:08:47 |
Can You say that again please? |
| 00:09:26 |
Thanks asshole. |
| 00:09:29 |
Sorry. |
| 00:09:41 |
Oh fuck! |
| 00:09:43 |
This magazine you're working for, |
| 00:09:46 |
Yeah, it's Sharp's. |
| 00:09:49 |
You know, Sharp's Magazines? |
| 00:09:49 |
High society, fashion, fine.. |
| 00:09:54 |
Hollywood? |
| 00:09:55 |
It's Sodom and Gomorrah. |
| 00:09:57 |
Now everybody is celebrity. |
| 00:09:59 |
You take out your breasts |
| 00:10:02 |
I think it really depends |
| 00:10:05 |
In Poland, someone was famous |
| 00:10:09 |
Marie Curie.. |
| 00:10:12 |
Yes, well they don't make entertainers |
| 00:10:19 |
They brought your things yesterday. |
| 00:10:21 |
Great. |
| 00:10:23 |
Yeah. |
| 00:10:25 |
It's nice. |
| 00:10:27 |
I'll put my drums in |
| 00:10:31 |
Joking. |
| 00:10:32 |
Just a little. |
| 00:10:34 |
When you start work? |
| 00:10:37 |
In the morning. |
| 00:10:38 |
So got to be fresh, |
| 00:10:41 |
Go to bed. |
| 00:10:43 |
That's exactly what I intend to do. |
| 00:11:51 |
Make that two. |
| 00:12:00 |
I'm Clark. |
| 00:12:03 |
Nice to meet you, cheers. |
| 00:12:07 |
What is this? |
| 00:12:08 |
That's a water, sir. |
| 00:12:09 |
That's not right is it, put a |
| 00:12:11 |
I'm sorry, my boyfriend's sitting there. |
| 00:12:13 |
Is he? |
| 00:12:14 |
He's fucking small isn't he. |
| 00:12:17 |
That's his White Russian, |
| 00:12:20 |
Excuse me? Can you reserve |
| 00:12:22 |
No. |
| 00:12:27 |
I'm a journalist. |
| 00:12:28 |
I work for a little periodical |
| 00:12:32 |
Sharps Magazine. |
| 00:12:33 |
I'm the Cultural Editor. |
| 00:12:35 |
This is library card, from Gloucester. |
| 00:12:39 |
It's the wrong one isn't it... |
| 00:12:43 |
Happy now? |
| 00:12:44 |
Just doing my bit for the gene pool. |
| 00:12:49 |
Who is that with Clint Eastwood? |
| 00:12:52 |
Morgan Freeman. |
| 00:12:53 |
No, in the head-lock. |
| 00:12:56 |
You got this laminated? |
| 00:12:58 |
Shit... Sorry, sorry. |
| 00:13:01 |
No, no, no, just leave it. |
| 00:13:02 |
OK then. |
| 00:13:05 |
It's pronounced "gloster" by the way. |
| 00:13:07 |
Are you going to get off that seat? |
| 00:13:09 |
No. |
| 00:13:11 |
Do you know the meaning of Karma? |
| 00:13:13 |
A curry? |
| 00:13:14 |
What goes around, comes around. |
| 00:13:17 |
The moment is approaching where you'll |
| 00:13:20 |
And when my boyfriend gets here, I'm going |
| 00:13:29 |
Hello? |
| 00:13:30 |
Hi honey. |
| 00:13:34 |
All right, I'll see you then. |
| 00:13:38 |
Boyfriend not coming? |
| 00:13:41 |
I'm Sorry. |
| 00:13:43 |
Do you think..? |
| 00:13:46 |
Do you think I can have his drink? |
| 00:13:51 |
Bobby. |
| 00:13:52 |
You want my seat? |
| 00:13:54 |
Thanks. |
| 00:14:01 |
Who do you think that is |
| 00:14:19 |
I'm going to go powder my nose. |
| 00:14:21 |
Why don't you put on something |
| 00:14:51 |
Mrs Labowski. |
| 00:14:52 |
Kowalsky. |
| 00:14:54 |
You know what time it is? |
| 00:14:56 |
The music blaring, the door open. |
| 00:14:58 |
Was it? |
| 00:14:59 |
Fuck.. |
| 00:15:01 |
Shit... |
| 00:15:02 |
I mean sorry.. |
| 00:15:03 |
I ran into an old friend... |
| 00:15:06 |
and came back for a little... |
| 00:15:08 |
... Penis. |
| 00:15:39 |
You can do this. |
| 00:15:40 |
You can do this. |
| 00:15:44 |
You can do this. |
| 00:15:45 |
You so can do this. |
| 00:15:56 |
Come on Bob... A quick cup |
| 00:16:10 |
This is my city. |
| 00:16:20 |
This is my building. |
| 00:16:25 |
This is my Lobby. |
| 00:16:31 |
These are my models. |
| 00:16:36 |
This is my work place. |
| 00:16:51 |
And this is my boss. |
| 00:16:55 |
What the fuck are you wearing? |
| 00:16:58 |
You like it? |
| 00:16:59 |
I've got another one actually. |
| 00:17:05 |
Thanks. |
| 00:17:09 |
The next time you come here dressed like |
| 00:17:12 |
Sit down. |
| 00:17:14 |
How was your flight? |
| 00:17:15 |
It was good. Thanks to the |
| 00:17:18 |
That was a mistake. |
| 00:17:20 |
And don't call me Clay. |
| 00:17:21 |
Oh, can we smoke? |
| 00:17:22 |
We... no. |
| 00:17:34 |
Actually I'm a big fan of your |
| 00:17:37 |
Snipe Magazine, really good. |
| 00:17:44 |
You've actually been a big influence on me. |
| 00:17:47 |
And I think together we can inject |
| 00:17:51 |
In fact I've got some |
| 00:17:54 |
You think you've arrived don't you? |
| 00:17:56 |
I hate to break it to you, |
| 00:17:59 |
It's not nothing, don't get |
| 00:18:03 |
It's not that great either, believe me |
| 00:18:07 |
Who made it to the first level |
| 00:18:09 |
And in about a year, |
| 00:18:13 |
You'll discover a secret doorway, |
| 00:18:19 |
That leads to the 2nd. |
| 00:18:21 |
And in time, if you're lucky, |
| 00:18:24 |
another doorway in the back of the |
| 00:18:27 |
There are 7 rooms, altogether. |
| 00:18:30 |
You are in the 1st. |
| 00:18:33 |
I'm in the 7th. |
| 00:18:35 |
Don't you forget it. |
| 00:18:39 |
Can I use the bathroom in the 7th, |
| 00:18:44 |
Which leads us to the subject |
| 00:18:47 |
I had a look through |
| 00:18:49 |
Oh, what did you think? |
| 00:18:51 |
Oh, it was kind of snarky... |
| 00:19:02 |
I'm gonna try you out in |
| 00:19:05 |
You're going to report |
| 00:19:20 |
Plausibly, I know we've only just met, |
| 00:19:24 |
of a rare common sensibility. |
| 00:19:25 |
Oh, thanks. |
| 00:19:26 |
Harding is going to be your Rabbi, |
| 00:19:29 |
Oh, Mr Maddox. |
| 00:19:30 |
Are you aware of what |
| 00:19:32 |
You photograph famous people |
| 00:19:36 |
"I Spy" is the nation's |
| 00:19:40 |
The Lookie Loo's read us because... |
| 00:19:43 |
The glitterati read us because |
| 00:19:47 |
For the system to work, |
| 00:19:50 |
So when we go out to clubs and stuff, |
| 00:19:53 |
This isn't a vacation, it's a vocation. |
| 00:19:59 |
And when we do go out, you're going to |
| 00:20:02 |
What do you mean by suitable? |
| 00:20:03 |
Something that covers all this up. |
| 00:20:11 |
Is that Mussolini? |
| 00:20:12 |
No Sydney, it's Richard Heywood, |
| 00:20:20 |
Who's this funny looking kid, |
| 00:20:22 |
It's his daughter. |
| 00:20:24 |
Elizabeth. |
| 00:20:25 |
And my wife. |
| 00:20:27 |
Really? |
| 00:20:29 |
She's very... she's got... |
| 00:20:32 |
I mean babies are all like Mussolini. |
| 00:20:35 |
Miss Olsen takes care of book launchings, |
| 00:20:40 |
Ms Olsen will you find our new |
| 00:20:43 |
I hear the Cultural Editor's |
| 00:20:54 |
Seeing I'm going to be sitting |
| 00:20:59 |
No, now get off my desk. |
| 00:21:01 |
Yeah, but... |
| 00:21:02 |
I don't really know what |
| 00:21:07 |
Are you gonna help me out? |
| 00:21:08 |
Sure, which way did you come in? |
| 00:21:13 |
Here, Chris Blick exhibition opening. |
| 00:21:15 |
Caption it. |
| 00:21:16 |
Now get out off my desk. |
| 00:21:19 |
Hi. |
| 00:21:21 |
Oh, hi Ingrid. |
| 00:21:22 |
Aren't you going to introduce us? |
| 00:21:25 |
This is Clark Baxter. |
| 00:21:26 |
It's Sidney actually, Sidney Young. |
| 00:21:29 |
Clark Baxter is my alias. |
| 00:21:31 |
He's English. |
| 00:21:33 |
Oh, right. |
| 00:21:38 |
Hello. |
| 00:21:39 |
Is that the Parsons Gallery. |
| 00:21:41 |
Yes it is, this is |
| 00:21:43 |
Hi, this is Sidney Young |
| 00:21:47 |
We're running some photographs from your |
| 00:21:51 |
And I've been asked to caption them... |
| 00:21:52 |
I was wondering if you could help |
| 00:21:55 |
All right. |
| 00:21:56 |
Thanks. |
| 00:21:57 |
Chris Blick, man or woman? |
| 00:22:01 |
Is Chris Blick a man or a woman? |
| 00:22:03 |
Are you sure you're calling |
| 00:22:06 |
Yes I am. |
| 00:22:07 |
Well then tell me Stanley, |
| 00:22:11 |
If you do not know who one of the |
| 00:22:14 |
I don't know. |
| 00:22:15 |
He's a man. |
| 00:22:17 |
Great, OK, is he an old man? |
| 00:22:20 |
He's an older man, yes. |
| 00:22:22 |
Cause I've got two old men here, |
| 00:22:26 |
You do realize that Clayton Harding |
| 00:22:29 |
What's that got to do with anything? |
| 00:22:31 |
Right... |
| 00:22:43 |
Parsons Gallery? |
| 00:22:44 |
Is he the one with the wonky eye then? |
| 00:23:06 |
It's fashion sensitive. |
| 00:23:08 |
If you're not wearing Prada, |
| 00:23:11 |
But I am wearing Prada. |
| 00:23:31 |
This place isn't what I expected. |
| 00:23:33 |
What did you expect? |
| 00:23:34 |
I don't know, like the Argunkle circle. |
| 00:23:36 |
Dorothy Parker... |
| 00:23:39 |
Martinis... |
| 00:23:40 |
Quips... nobody here is drunk. |
| 00:23:41 |
It's called being professional, |
| 00:23:42 |
You should try it sometime. |
| 00:23:44 |
Here's something you gotta understand, |
| 00:23:46 |
By you, do you mean human? |
| 00:23:47 |
No, I mean one of the "Glossy Posse", |
| 00:23:49 |
A bunch of Zombies walking about... |
| 00:23:52 |
Acting like they're |
| 00:23:54 |
I'm here to shake things up. |
| 00:23:59 |
Where are you from? |
| 00:24:00 |
Not that it's any of your business, but |
| 00:24:03 |
Ah... small-town girl. |
| 00:24:06 |
"I bet you couldn't wait to get out, |
| 00:24:12 |
"Silence of the Lambs". |
| 00:24:14 |
Let me give you a bit of advice, OK. |
| 00:24:16 |
Don't take the celebrity |
| 00:24:19 |
You arrogant... |
| 00:24:54 |
Are you insane? |
| 00:24:56 |
That was Lawrence Maddox's wife, |
| 00:24:59 |
That was her? |
| 00:25:02 |
I can go back... |
| 00:25:03 |
No, you do not approach Elizabeth Maddox. |
| 00:25:05 |
You do not talk to her, don't even |
| 00:25:07 |
Do you understand? |
| 00:25:08 |
What, am I supposed to be afraid? |
| 00:25:10 |
Yes. |
| 00:25:11 |
I don't know the meaning of |
| 00:25:13 |
I'm sure there are many words |
| 00:25:16 |
What's that mean? |
| 00:25:17 |
When I think of all the people |
| 00:25:21 |
And you lumbering here, spitting food, |
| 00:25:25 |
Why did Clayton hire you? |
| 00:25:26 |
Snipe Magazine. |
| 00:25:27 |
What? |
| 00:25:29 |
When Clayton left college he |
| 00:25:31 |
It was fantastic, just took on all the |
| 00:25:34 |
It was completely fearless. |
| 00:25:35 |
It was like my magazine, |
| 00:25:37 |
I am the young Clayton Harding, |
| 00:25:40 |
He looks at me and |
| 00:25:42 |
His "glory days"? |
| 00:25:44 |
Sharp's is one of over 40 |
| 00:25:47 |
That increased its advertising pages |
| 00:25:50 |
He makes millions of dollars a year, |
| 00:25:55 |
Clayton Harding is one of the lynch pins |
| 00:25:58 |
Don't worry about that. |
| 00:26:01 |
I think I just might be |
| 00:26:05 |
Hello, you've reached Sidney Young. |
| 00:26:06 |
I'm Sorry, but my answering |
| 00:26:09 |
The voice you're hearing is actually me. |
| 00:26:12 |
Sidney. |
| 00:26:13 |
Are you there? |
| 00:26:16 |
Sidney. |
| 00:26:17 |
It's your father. |
| 00:26:20 |
If you're there Sydney, please |
| 00:26:25 |
Sidney, are you there? |
| 00:26:48 |
Wow! Look at that. |
| 00:26:55 |
Are you two texting each other? |
| 00:27:31 |
There's about a hundred grand's worth of |
| 00:27:34 |
Want some? |
| 00:27:35 |
No. |
| 00:27:38 |
This place is just wall to wall totty. |
| 00:27:40 |
Wall to wall, what? |
| 00:27:41 |
Totty, you know, babes. |
| 00:27:43 |
Sexually attractive women. |
| 00:27:45 |
- Do you mind? |
| 00:27:47 |
Hey Lawrence, how are you? |
| 00:27:48 |
Good to see you. |
| 00:27:50 |
Look at that. |
| 00:27:51 |
All night long people have |
| 00:27:53 |
In London, the journalist motto is |
| 00:27:56 |
Well now your one of the high priests |
| 00:27:59 |
I shouldn't even be here. |
| 00:28:00 |
I get thrown out of places like this. |
| 00:28:14 |
Lawrence Maddox, oh my goodness... |
| 00:28:17 |
Long time. |
| 00:28:19 |
Yeah. |
| 00:28:21 |
Rachel. |
| 00:28:23 |
Rachel, how are you? |
| 00:28:25 |
Well I'm wonderful, just wonderful. |
| 00:28:27 |
How are you? |
| 00:28:28 |
You know it is so funny |
| 00:28:31 |
I've just done this great |
| 00:28:35 |
It's low-budget, |
| 00:28:38 |
But it's really moving. |
| 00:28:39 |
Hey, maybe you could do a little... |
| 00:28:43 |
Vincent. |
| 00:28:44 |
Good to see you. |
| 00:28:45 |
Lawrence, right? |
| 00:28:46 |
Yeah. |
| 00:28:47 |
How are you sir? |
| 00:28:48 |
- Good, |
| 00:28:49 |
How's the picture? |
| 00:28:50 |
Pretty close to perfect, if I can just |
| 00:28:54 |
I think we're gonna have |
| 00:28:57 |
Hey! That was Rachel Petkoff. |
| 00:28:59 |
Fantastic actress. |
| 00:29:01 |
She hasn't done anything for |
| 00:29:04 |
- Sure... |
| 00:29:06 |
You should get in there, |
| 00:29:08 |
Sidney, I'd like to introduce |
| 00:29:13 |
In my opinion the most exciting |
| 00:29:17 |
This is the worst fundraiser |
| 00:29:19 |
It's a ratfire isn't it? |
| 00:29:30 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:29:33 |
Can I have your autograph please? |
| 00:29:35 |
I'm a huge fan. |
| 00:29:37 |
Is that so? |
| 00:29:39 |
Yeah, I've seen everything |
| 00:29:43 |
Those episodes of "The Love Boat". |
| 00:29:45 |
"The Bionic Woman", |
| 00:29:46 |
"In the Night", |
| 00:29:48 |
And I saw your first ever TV appearance |
| 00:29:53 |
Right. |
| 00:29:54 |
But my all-time favorite has |
| 00:29:57 |
You were great in that. |
| 00:30:05 |
What's you name, honey? |
| 00:30:06 |
Sidney. |
| 00:30:14 |
Thanks. |
| 00:30:16 |
I'll remember that. |
| 00:30:19 |
Thank you. |
| 00:30:23 |
I mean you look around you |
| 00:30:26 |
No-one's making movies that |
| 00:30:28 |
I have disagree with you Vincent. |
| 00:30:31 |
You're making movies |
| 00:30:33 |
This is what I'm saying. |
| 00:30:36 |
You have to inspire yourself. |
| 00:30:37 |
I am my role model, |
| 00:30:40 |
What's the greatest film ever made? |
| 00:30:42 |
Excuse me? |
| 00:30:43 |
What is the greatest film ever made? |
| 00:30:44 |
Have a guess. |
| 00:30:46 |
Well... I don't know, |
| 00:30:49 |
Have a guess! |
| 00:30:50 |
Yeah, have a guess, |
| 00:30:52 |
It's hard to say. |
| 00:30:54 |
I personally love |
| 00:30:57 |
Incorrect. |
| 00:30:58 |
Con Air. |
| 00:31:00 |
I beg your pardon? |
| 00:31:01 |
Con Air. |
| 00:31:03 |
Right? It's got everything hasn't it? |
| 00:31:05 |
You got Malkovich for your acting chops. |
| 00:31:07 |
You got Nicky Cage for your action. |
| 00:31:08 |
And Steve Buscemi for your comedy. |
| 00:31:10 |
John Cusack for the gays... |
| 00:31:12 |
It's like a smorgisboard isn't it? |
| 00:31:17 |
I don't think we've been introduced. |
| 00:31:19 |
Mr Young, this is Eleanor Johnson. |
| 00:31:21 |
Queen of New York. |
| 00:31:22 |
Sidney is from England. |
| 00:31:24 |
He's our very own "idiot savant", |
| 00:31:28 |
Well it's always nice to have |
| 00:31:32 |
Which reminds me, |
| 00:31:37 |
I want you to meet her. |
| 00:31:38 |
His new film, |
| 00:31:40 |
The buzz is amazing. |
| 00:31:42 |
The release is being tied in with the |
| 00:31:45 |
And Louis Vuiton is on the line. |
| 00:31:48 |
This train is leaving the station. |
| 00:31:49 |
What, you're a publicist? |
| 00:31:51 |
I don't really like that word Sidney. |
| 00:31:54 |
What do I call you then? |
| 00:31:56 |
You can call me Eleanor. |
| 00:31:59 |
All right. |
| 00:32:01 |
There she is. |
| 00:32:45 |
Sophie, give us a smile! |
| 00:33:10 |
This one will go far. |
| 00:33:16 |
Where is the car? |
| 00:33:18 |
What's it doing at the back? |
| 00:33:20 |
Well, forget what I said, |
| 00:33:23 |
I just think it's so awful |
| 00:33:26 |
Which is why I won't wear fur, |
| 00:33:30 |
I'm a vegetarian. |
| 00:33:32 |
I'm with you on that one. |
| 00:33:33 |
I won't eat anything with eyebrows. |
| 00:33:35 |
Or something that can chuckle. I would |
| 00:33:40 |
I'm sorry, I can't really |
| 00:33:44 |
I just.. nothing.... just |
| 00:33:45 |
So you're an actress? |
| 00:33:47 |
So you've not won any Oscars then? |
| 00:33:49 |
No. |
| 00:33:50 |
Cause I would definitely vote for |
| 00:33:54 |
I haven't been nominated for anything. |
| 00:33:56 |
I realise, I'm just saying... |
| 00:33:57 |
Sophie, dear, |
| 00:34:00 |
Yeah. |
| 00:34:00 |
I was joking... |
| 00:34:03 |
You know what to do. |
| 00:34:08 |
Thank you. |
| 00:34:10 |
Lovely. |
| 00:34:13 |
Sophie, Sophie! |
| 00:34:24 |
I'm going to the circle club, |
| 00:34:26 |
Okay, good night. |
| 00:34:31 |
Push up. |
| 00:34:31 |
Where are you going? |
| 00:34:32 |
I'm going to the club. |
| 00:34:33 |
I'm sorry, you're not on the list. |
| 00:34:36 |
Cuba! |
| 00:34:37 |
See, even Cuba says so. |
| 00:34:39 |
Cuba... |
| 00:34:41 |
Who's a good boy. |
| 00:34:43 |
To the Circle Club. |
| 00:34:46 |
It just turns my stomach. |
| 00:34:48 |
He's pouring all over her, he's |
| 00:34:50 |
No he isn't. |
| 00:34:51 |
Yes he is. |
| 00:34:52 |
Actually I was producing |
| 00:34:54 |
For your information he wasn't pawing |
| 00:34:58 |
In case you haven't noticed, Sharp's has |
| 00:35:01 |
And most of these stars are |
| 00:35:03 |
do not piss her off. |
| 00:35:04 |
She's a flack. |
| 00:35:07 |
And I wouldn't call that doing his job, |
| 00:35:13 |
Oh, and the next time you want to do that |
| 00:35:17 |
- I wasn't being ironic... |
| 00:35:20 |
Not doing it in front of Vincent Lepak, |
| 00:35:24 |
Yeah, I could tell that by the way he was |
| 00:35:29 |
Do you think she'll go out with me? |
| 00:35:30 |
Who? |
| 00:35:31 |
Sophie Maes, do you think |
| 00:35:32 |
No. |
| 00:35:33 |
Girls like Sophie do |
| 00:35:36 |
As far as she's concerned |
| 00:35:38 |
What do you know anyway? |
| 00:35:39 |
A lot of these starlets |
| 00:35:41 |
All they do is look around for men. |
| 00:35:43 |
This is New York, Sidney, women |
| 00:35:46 |
I'm gonna be successful. |
| 00:35:47 |
And tall. |
| 00:35:59 |
Have you seen this? |
| 00:36:00 |
She's everywhere. |
| 00:36:04 |
Good cover. |
| 00:36:09 |
From Sophie Maes. |
| 00:36:13 |
Thanks for the great night. |
| 00:36:15 |
Sweet kid. |
| 00:36:17 |
Sidney... |
| 00:36:20 |
A word of advice. |
| 00:36:22 |
Don't talk to the celebrities. |
| 00:36:24 |
Sophie said you made her uncomfortable. |
| 00:37:12 |
So Brad's people finally |
| 00:37:16 |
We have the whole afternoon |
| 00:37:17 |
Good work Lawrence. |
| 00:37:20 |
OK, if that's it... |
| 00:37:22 |
Actually I was thinking Clay... |
| 00:37:25 |
Paris Hilton. |
| 00:37:27 |
I do a profile of her as if |
| 00:37:32 |
Like a hermit. |
| 00:37:34 |
I'm tracking her down. |
| 00:37:35 |
Who is the elusive Paris Hilton, |
| 00:37:42 |
Good... |
| 00:37:45 |
Just changing.... |
| 00:37:47 |
That's first room stuff, Sidney, |
| 00:37:50 |
see what happens. |
| 00:37:59 |
Sorry. |
| 00:38:00 |
No, I love this, but I'm |
| 00:38:03 |
Get out of here. |
| 00:38:04 |
You look totally rexy. |
| 00:38:06 |
God, that's so sweet. |
| 00:38:15 |
I don't mean to be rude Sidney, |
| 00:38:18 |
You know how things work here, |
| 00:38:19 |
How am I gonna get a piece |
| 00:38:21 |
I thought all this fluff |
| 00:38:24 |
It is beneath me, |
| 00:38:27 |
What's changed? |
| 00:38:28 |
I know everybody thinks I'm |
| 00:38:31 |
And maybe I didn't have the |
| 00:38:35 |
I want... |
| 00:38:37 |
I want to have sex with Sophie Maes, |
| 00:38:42 |
You're loathsome, do you know that? |
| 00:38:44 |
I know he's got a bit of a head start. |
| 00:38:46 |
But I think I can win her back, |
| 00:38:49 |
She never gets free. |
| 00:38:50 |
Like ringworm? |
| 00:38:51 |
If you like. |
| 00:38:55 |
Where you going? |
| 00:39:01 |
Hey buddy, you big corporate |
| 00:39:10 |
Hello, I'd like to apply for a |
| 00:39:14 |
Yeah. |
| 00:39:16 |
Hon. Sidney Young. |
| 00:39:19 |
Hon, H-O-N, it's short for honorable. |
| 00:39:22 |
Yeah, it's a British title. |
| 00:39:25 |
The Queen? |
| 00:39:26 |
Yeah, I know the Queen. |
| 00:39:27 |
She used to be in my |
| 00:39:30 |
She's a buddy more than anything. |
| 00:39:34 |
Fuck! |
| 00:39:37 |
Hello Cuba... |
| 00:39:41 |
He likes you. |
| 00:39:43 |
So, how does it feel to be a star? |
| 00:39:46 |
No, no, it's so embarrassing, |
| 00:39:48 |
Those pictures are everywhere now, and I |
| 00:39:52 |
Plus everybody's talking like |
| 00:39:55 |
Such a cynical age, hmm? |
| 00:39:57 |
Hello Sidney. |
| 00:40:05 |
I was looking for my... |
| 00:40:07 |
Lawrence is taking us to |
| 00:40:11 |
That's nice. |
| 00:40:12 |
Can I leave Cuba here? |
| 00:40:15 |
Of course you can, |
| 00:40:18 |
Sidney, fetch Cuba a bowl of water. |
| 00:40:21 |
Well, of course. |
| 00:40:30 |
That is a lovely ring. |
| 00:40:32 |
It was my mother's, |
| 00:40:37 |
Oh, you sweetie. |
| 00:40:38 |
It's very very... |
| 00:40:41 |
So listen. |
| 00:40:44 |
You've met Vincent Lepak, |
| 00:40:47 |
Eh, yeah. |
| 00:40:49 |
He has a new movie coming out soon. |
| 00:40:52 |
And Lawrence is already |
| 00:40:56 |
How would you like to |
| 00:41:00 |
Yeah, I would actually. |
| 00:41:03 |
Yes, very much. |
| 00:41:04 |
Well, great. |
| 00:41:06 |
Maybe we can get together |
| 00:41:09 |
Okay. |
| 00:41:12 |
What do you mean, angle? |
| 00:41:15 |
Well I need to know how |
| 00:41:17 |
Check the story and so on. |
| 00:41:20 |
Are you saying you want copy approval? |
| 00:41:23 |
Any stories written about |
| 00:41:26 |
in their best interest. |
| 00:41:28 |
That's all. |
| 00:41:29 |
If things work out with Vincent, |
| 00:41:33 |
story on Sophie. |
| 00:41:36 |
What do you think? |
| 00:41:40 |
I'm sorry, I don't work that way. |
| 00:41:45 |
Sidney, dear... |
| 00:41:47 |
Think of it like this, |
| 00:41:49 |
You write about one of my clients, |
| 00:41:54 |
To help sell your magazine. |
| 00:41:56 |
All I'm saying is "quid pro quo". |
| 00:42:01 |
Starlight? |
| 00:42:25 |
Hello Cuba... |
| 00:42:27 |
Hello. |
| 00:42:29 |
It's uncle Sidney, I've come to |
| 00:42:35 |
What's this? |
| 00:42:37 |
Would you like a little play? |
| 00:42:43 |
Fetch! |
| 00:42:44 |
There you go. |
| 00:42:46 |
That's it, that's it. |
| 00:42:48 |
Well done. |
| 00:42:51 |
You and me are going to |
| 00:42:55 |
You're going to like me much much better |
| 00:43:00 |
Ready? |
| 00:43:38 |
Come on... |
| 00:43:40 |
Shit... |
| 00:43:43 |
That's my bag. |
| 00:43:45 |
Yes, I was going to borrow |
| 00:43:47 |
What are you talking about? |
| 00:43:48 |
I'll bring it right back, I'm just.. |
| 00:43:55 |
Oh my! |
| 00:43:59 |
It was an accident. |
| 00:44:00 |
What did you do? |
| 00:44:01 |
I was just trying to |
| 00:44:04 |
Please don't tell her, |
| 00:44:06 |
Cuba! |
| 00:44:10 |
Fuck no. |
| 00:44:17 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:44:20 |
Alison! |
| 00:44:23 |
Have you seen Cuba? |
| 00:44:25 |
What? |
| 00:44:25 |
Have you seen Sophie's dog? |
| 00:44:33 |
No, no idea. |
| 00:44:34 |
Well come and help us find him. |
| 00:44:55 |
Clay, you got a minute? |
| 00:44:56 |
You find that rat yet? |
| 00:45:00 |
No, not yet, probably just |
| 00:45:05 |
Congratulations on the |
| 00:45:07 |
How was lunch? |
| 00:45:08 |
I don't know. |
| 00:45:10 |
A thousands dollars a plate |
| 00:45:12 |
I'm kissing their ass, |
| 00:45:16 |
I get this dream sometimes. |
| 00:45:19 |
Someone's set fire to the building. |
| 00:45:22 |
Heywood, Sharp's magazine, |
| 00:45:28 |
My analyst, he thinks it's |
| 00:45:31 |
I never let him know how happy |
| 00:45:36 |
What do you want? |
| 00:45:37 |
I want to write a story |
| 00:45:40 |
Not a puff piece, something funny, with |
| 00:45:45 |
Everyone's treating him like some sort |
| 00:45:48 |
Look at this. |
| 00:45:50 |
Why do I have a closet full of |
| 00:45:53 |
I don't know... |
| 00:45:55 |
I don't know either. |
| 00:45:57 |
This is an office, for god's sake. |
| 00:46:00 |
Why do I even have a fucking closet? |
| 00:46:09 |
Do it. |
| 00:46:11 |
Fuck, yeah! |
| 00:46:12 |
Do it. |
| 00:46:15 |
We'll take him down. |
| 00:46:18 |
This is your shot. |
| 00:46:20 |
Thanks Clayton. |
| 00:46:21 |
You're my little hit-man. |
| 00:46:23 |
Yes, I am your little hit-man. |
| 00:46:24 |
Go do it. |
| 00:46:25 |
Okay! |
| 00:46:28 |
You can call me "The Jackal". |
| 00:46:30 |
Out! |
| 00:46:31 |
Okay. |
| 00:47:33 |
Mr Young. |
| 00:47:34 |
Yes. |
| 00:47:35 |
I'm Sophie Mae's assistant. |
| 00:47:37 |
I'm afraid Sophie isn't |
| 00:47:39 |
Well, I know she's here. |
| 00:47:40 |
I'm not a stalker. |
| 00:47:43 |
She lost the dog. |
| 00:47:44 |
She isn't here. |
| 00:47:46 |
All right, well can you please just find |
| 00:47:49 |
Okay... |
| 00:47:51 |
Did you send the flowers? |
| 00:47:54 |
Flowers? |
| 00:47:56 |
Yeah, cause she doesn't get enough |
| 00:48:01 |
You know, goldfish, |
| 00:48:03 |
Did she get 'em? |
| 00:48:05 |
Yes, but they were dead. |
| 00:48:10 |
All of 'em? |
| 00:48:11 |
Yeah. |
| 00:48:12 |
It was kind of shocking actually. |
| 00:48:14 |
Were they dead when you sent them? |
| 00:48:16 |
No! |
| 00:48:18 |
Who sends people dead fish? |
| 00:48:21 |
The Mafia. |
| 00:48:29 |
Oh my god! |
| 00:48:32 |
No, no, no, that wasn't me. |
| 00:48:36 |
I laid him to rest. |
| 00:48:38 |
Cuba. |
| 00:48:39 |
I took him out to the eh... |
| 00:48:40 |
I don't want to know. |
| 00:48:42 |
You might want your bag back. |
| 00:48:44 |
Stop. |
| 00:48:46 |
Also just the whole, not telling thing, |
| 00:48:52 |
because you didn't have to do it, |
| 00:48:54 |
Why didn't you? |
| 00:48:57 |
You don't need my help to |
| 00:48:59 |
The only thing you make are mistakes. |
| 00:49:02 |
And stains. |
| 00:49:05 |
Can I help you? |
| 00:49:07 |
Just a couple of straws please. |
| 00:49:12 |
Let me ask... |
| 00:49:14 |
You're always writing in it. |
| 00:49:20 |
It's a novel I'm working on. |
| 00:49:24 |
- Wow! |
| 00:49:26 |
No, it's all right, |
| 00:49:28 |
And you're writing it by hand? |
| 00:49:30 |
Yeah. |
| 00:49:32 |
I don't know, it keeps it separate from |
| 00:49:38 |
You're full of surprises, sister. |
| 00:49:41 |
Ah, White Russian, been waiting |
| 00:49:43 |
Yeah, he'll be here soon. |
| 00:49:46 |
What does he do this mystery guy? |
| 00:49:51 |
Actually he's a poet. |
| 00:49:53 |
Oooh is he? |
| 00:49:54 |
What does he look like? |
| 00:49:56 |
What? |
| 00:49:57 |
Poets are not known for |
| 00:50:00 |
'cause they're always in dark rooms, |
| 00:50:04 |
He's very handsome, thank you. |
| 00:50:06 |
Of course he is. |
| 00:50:07 |
You know what I don't understand. |
| 00:50:09 |
You're so desperate to get |
| 00:50:11 |
So why wouldn't you play |
| 00:50:14 |
I resent being bribed to gush |
| 00:50:18 |
I choose to gush sycophantically. |
| 00:50:20 |
Okay. |
| 00:50:21 |
Anyway, Clayton's given me |
| 00:50:24 |
That's good. |
| 00:50:28 |
In a world where passion is |
| 00:50:31 |
The love you've held for a man, |
| 00:50:35 |
You've given yourself |
| 00:50:39 |
How can it be wrong...? |
| 00:50:43 |
I believe in love, |
| 00:50:45 |
And we must give it |
| 00:50:50 |
Sometimes, before you can |
| 00:50:52 |
You have to find the world. |
| 00:50:55 |
Calcutta. |
| 00:50:56 |
Stand up, Mother Teresa. |
| 00:50:59 |
Sophie Maes is Mother Teresa in |
| 00:51:08 |
Anyway I got to shoo off, |
| 00:51:11 |
With your poet. |
| 00:51:14 |
Bye. |
| 00:51:15 |
Bye. |
| 00:51:17 |
I've still got the receipt so... |
| 00:51:28 |
Which, makes it a half a page left, |
| 00:51:32 |
Lawrence, any ideas? |
| 00:51:34 |
Yes, Rachel Petkoff, fabulous |
| 00:51:38 |
One of my all-time favorites. |
| 00:51:40 |
Just made a movie called 5 Burros. |
| 00:51:44 |
I think she's poised for a comeback. |
| 00:51:46 |
And I think we should get |
| 00:51:49 |
Sounds good. |
| 00:51:52 |
Okay, that's it people. |
| 00:51:57 |
What? |
| 00:51:58 |
Did you read my piece |
| 00:52:01 |
Yeah, that... |
| 00:52:05 |
That's not gonna work. |
| 00:52:07 |
Oh, and for those of you |
| 00:52:10 |
Alison will be running the |
| 00:52:12 |
As Laurence here is moving up in the |
| 00:52:17 |
as Deputy Editor. |
| 00:52:26 |
Congratulations. |
| 00:52:30 |
I'm Sorry. |
| 00:52:31 |
Since when is Rachel one of |
| 00:52:32 |
You'd never fucking heard of her. |
| 00:52:33 |
That was my idea. |
| 00:52:35 |
And so it was yes. |
| 00:52:38 |
If you have any more good ideas don't |
| 00:52:45 |
By the way. |
| 00:52:47 |
There's been complaints about you |
| 00:52:50 |
Trying to talk to women, |
| 00:52:53 |
What? |
| 00:52:54 |
You spend your life chatting |
| 00:52:56 |
When I do it it's called |
| 00:52:57 |
When you do it, it's called |
| 00:52:59 |
Consider this an official warning. |
| 00:53:01 |
I will not tolerate |
| 00:53:13 |
I know that wasn't Greg's |
| 00:00:02 |
I am. |
| 00:00:04 |
And I, |
| 00:00:05 |
Am making changes. |
| 00:00:10 |
What? |
| 00:00:11 |
Hi Lawrence. There's a lady |
| 00:00:15 |
Can I help you? |
| 00:00:16 |
Are you Lawrence Maddox |
| 00:00:19 |
Yes? |
| 00:00:19 |
I'm here to congratulate you |
| 00:00:22 |
Thank you. |
| 00:00:23 |
I'm sorry, you are? |
| 00:00:26 |
I'm your present. |
| 00:00:30 |
Laurence this is inappropriate |
| 00:00:33 |
This is wrong, I should record this. |
| 00:00:35 |
Fuck the misuse of company time. |
| 00:00:37 |
- Stop. |
| 00:00:42 |
Hey Mrs. Harding |
| 00:00:44 |
Oh my god, |
| 00:00:45 |
So adorable. |
| 00:00:46 |
This is Ingrid from the |
| 00:00:48 |
You're getting so big. |
| 00:00:49 |
Where's Mr Maddox now? |
| 00:00:51 |
He moved to room 217, |
| 00:00:54 |
Ok. |
| 00:00:55 |
Bye. |
| 00:00:56 |
Bye. |
| 00:00:57 |
Girls, let's go see Mr. Maddox. |
| 00:01:02 |
My God this is terrible. |
| 00:01:06 |
There's a surprise. |
| 00:01:09 |
What do you think? |
| 00:01:14 |
Mrs. Harding? |
| 00:01:17 |
Girls. |
| 00:01:31 |
I got cock on my hand. |
| 00:01:48 |
Get in. |
| 00:01:54 |
I didn't know it was |
| 00:01:56 |
I didn't know there was a |
| 00:01:59 |
Shut up. |
| 00:02:02 |
You know, when I told my wife... |
| 00:02:05 |
I hired another Brit. |
| 00:02:07 |
She was excited. |
| 00:02:08 |
She still thinks you're all like |
| 00:02:11 |
But after what she just saw |
| 00:02:12 |
Now she thinks you're a |
| 00:02:19 |
Why did I hire you? |
| 00:02:21 |
I don't know, why did you hire me? |
| 00:02:23 |
I had an attack of nostalgia. |
| 00:02:27 |
Like gas. |
| 00:02:28 |
What was wrong with my story? |
| 00:02:29 |
What? |
| 00:02:30 |
Why did you kill my |
| 00:02:32 |
Sidney, it wasn't good enough. |
| 00:02:34 |
Simple as that. |
| 00:02:35 |
Wasn't good enough! |
| 00:02:37 |
We don't do hatchet jobs here. |
| 00:02:38 |
It wasn't a hatchet job. |
| 00:02:39 |
Your opening quotation... |
| 00:02:40 |
It's only too easy to catch |
| 00:02:42 |
Doing something worse than anyone |
| 00:02:47 |
Who you thinking of here, |
| 00:02:48 |
Yourself or Vincent? |
| 00:02:49 |
He is a talentless, pretentious little twat |
| 00:02:52 |
And somebody needed to say that. |
| 00:02:54 |
You told me to do something with teeth. |
| 00:02:55 |
I'm trying to run a fucking |
| 00:03:00 |
A free press is the last defense |
| 00:03:04 |
Save me the tin-pot philosophy. |
| 00:03:06 |
It's not mine it's yours. |
| 00:03:08 |
First issue of Snipe. |
| 00:03:11 |
Would you grow the fuck up? |
| 00:03:13 |
You are not Robin Hood. |
| 00:03:14 |
You never were. |
| 00:03:17 |
You bitch about famous people for the |
| 00:03:20 |
Because they got invited to the party. |
| 00:03:23 |
And you didn't. |
| 00:03:24 |
Well Sidney, |
| 00:03:26 |
You're at the party now. |
| 00:03:28 |
Quit your bitching and |
| 00:03:33 |
You're on your last life here, |
| 00:03:35 |
One more fuck-up like today, |
| 00:03:40 |
Wouldn't you have to run a decision |
| 00:03:46 |
Get out. |
| 00:04:22 |
I can't believe you hired |
| 00:04:26 |
I didn't hire him, |
| 00:04:28 |
I thought you wanted to |
| 00:04:30 |
I do. |
| 00:04:31 |
It wasn't me it was Clark. |
| 00:04:34 |
Oh, your alias, right. |
| 00:04:37 |
I don't think Clayton is going to |
| 00:04:40 |
I've been on salary for |
| 00:04:42 |
And I've written probably a 175 words. |
| 00:04:47 |
I am the highest paid writer |
| 00:04:50 |
He's not going to renew my contract. |
| 00:04:53 |
Well, what do you expect? |
| 00:04:56 |
I mean, Vincent's one |
| 00:04:57 |
I told you they're untouchables. |
| 00:04:59 |
I thought Clayton was different, |
| 00:05:01 |
The only thing I'm good at |
| 00:05:07 |
"My glory walks hand in hand with my doom". |
| 00:05:10 |
Troy who? |
| 00:05:11 |
"Troy" the movie. |
| 00:05:15 |
Clayton only hired me so |
| 00:05:17 |
Everybody hates me. |
| 00:05:19 |
You're the only one who |
| 00:05:21 |
You cornered me. |
| 00:05:22 |
I'm serious. |
| 00:05:23 |
You're the only person who's been... |
| 00:05:25 |
Most... abusive to me. |
| 00:05:34 |
Excuse me for a sec. |
| 00:05:41 |
Rachel, hey. |
| 00:05:46 |
Hello. |
| 00:05:48 |
Laurence is a wonderful writer, I really |
| 00:05:54 |
I'm sorry, have we...? |
| 00:05:55 |
It's Sidney, Sidney Young, we met |
| 00:05:59 |
I saw 5 Burros the other day, |
| 00:06:01 |
And I just wept. |
| 00:06:03 |
No... |
| 00:06:04 |
Like a baby. |
| 00:06:04 |
Absolutely incredible. |
| 00:06:11 |
Sophie darling. |
| 00:06:15 |
We were just talking, did you know |
| 00:06:18 |
No. |
| 00:06:19 |
Called "The Whole Heart", yeah, |
| 00:06:21 |
You write poems? |
| 00:06:22 |
In another life. |
| 00:06:26 |
Cointreau? |
| 00:06:27 |
And the White Russian. |
| 00:06:30 |
Right here. |
| 00:06:32 |
So Sidney. |
| 00:06:33 |
What time does the stripper come on? |
| 00:06:36 |
Shut up Maddox. |
| 00:06:40 |
Where's your sense of humor |
| 00:06:48 |
Choke, choke, choke, choke, choke. |
| 00:06:59 |
Hi, Mrs. Harding. |
| 00:07:03 |
Hi. |
| 00:07:06 |
It's a lovely party. |
| 00:07:07 |
Having fun. |
| 00:07:11 |
Jesus! |
| 00:07:13 |
Has anyone ever told you before |
| 00:07:17 |
Yes. |
| 00:07:19 |
You should walk with bare feet |
| 00:07:23 |
Ground all that negative energy. |
| 00:07:26 |
What are you, a wizard, what? |
| 00:07:28 |
I'm a spiritual healer. |
| 00:07:31 |
Oh, can you make a |
| 00:07:34 |
God no. |
| 00:07:35 |
I'm a dentist. |
| 00:07:38 |
You want do some coke? |
| 00:08:10 |
Oy! Orlando, you used to be English. |
| 00:08:20 |
Fuck! |
| 00:08:37 |
You OK? |
| 00:08:39 |
What? |
| 00:08:40 |
I said, are you OK? |
| 00:08:41 |
Yeah, I'm fine. |
| 00:08:42 |
You? |
| 00:08:43 |
Yeah. |
| 00:08:46 |
No, actually I'm not. |
| 00:08:47 |
I hate my life, so you know |
| 00:08:49 |
Right, I'll see you then. |
| 00:08:56 |
How could you? |
| 00:08:57 |
What? |
| 00:08:59 |
How could you and Maddox |
| 00:09:00 |
For god's sake. |
| 00:09:02 |
The man with hidden shallows. |
| 00:09:10 |
Goddamit Maddox! |
| 00:09:12 |
How can you live with yourself? |
| 00:09:15 |
I couldn't. |
| 00:09:16 |
That's why I've broken up with him. |
| 00:09:18 |
You broke up with him? |
| 00:09:26 |
Which leg did you hurt? |
| 00:09:27 |
This one. |
| 00:09:30 |
God... Fuck... God! |
| 00:09:47 |
You know what? |
| 00:09:49 |
There's something very |
| 00:09:55 |
Like an animal that's been |
| 00:10:01 |
Like a deer or like a pig, |
| 00:10:08 |
You walk all funny and the other |
| 00:10:18 |
Little limpy pig. |
| 00:10:28 |
I'm Joan of sick animals. |
| 00:10:31 |
That's why I picked Cuba. |
| 00:10:35 |
Because he had like, |
| 00:10:42 |
Poor little Cuba. |
| 00:10:46 |
Where is he now? |
| 00:10:49 |
Feels I'm wasted. |
| 00:10:52 |
I'm really wasted. |
| 00:10:55 |
I slept it off. |
| 00:10:58 |
Congratulations on becoming |
| 00:11:01 |
Thanks. |
| 00:11:04 |
What's that like? |
| 00:11:06 |
Weird. |
| 00:11:07 |
It's all happening so fast and it sort |
| 00:11:14 |
Kind of like I'm not |
| 00:11:31 |
You know what would be nice though? |
| 00:11:34 |
Some coke. |
| 00:11:39 |
It's probably just as well |
| 00:11:44 |
Coke always makes me so horny. |
| 00:11:51 |
I need the wizard dentist. |
| 00:11:53 |
I need the wizard... |
| 00:11:55 |
The dentist wizard. |
| 00:11:59 |
The wizard stroke dentist. |
| 00:12:04 |
Ok, all right, you got it. |
| 00:12:05 |
Thank you, thank you so much. |
| 00:12:08 |
It's OK. |
| 00:12:13 |
I will never, never, |
| 00:12:16 |
It's OK, really. |
| 00:12:23 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:12:24 |
None of your business. |
| 00:12:27 |
You can't drive like that OK. |
| 00:12:29 |
Just sleep it of. |
| 00:12:30 |
Just leave, you, you stupid asshole |
| 00:12:32 |
And secondly... secondly... |
| 00:12:38 |
If you drive in this condition |
| 00:12:41 |
Who cares if I did? |
| 00:12:43 |
I hate my life. |
| 00:12:46 |
I gotta go. |
| 00:12:47 |
Just come here. |
| 00:12:49 |
No, don't touch me. |
| 00:12:50 |
I hate my car. |
| 00:12:54 |
No give me the keys. |
| 00:12:57 |
I gotta go home. |
| 00:13:06 |
I thought I had it all figured out. |
| 00:13:09 |
A, get the hell out of Port Huron, |
| 00:13:12 |
B, do the serious journalism to pay |
| 00:13:17 |
C, win the Pulitzer. |
| 00:13:19 |
E,.. |
| 00:13:20 |
D! |
| 00:13:22 |
D, I don't know what D was. |
| 00:13:24 |
When I took the internship at Sharp's. |
| 00:13:26 |
I met Maddox. |
| 00:13:30 |
And then before you know it I'm writing |
| 00:13:35 |
And pretending this is what |
| 00:13:38 |
And this isn't what I wanted. |
| 00:13:39 |
And that's why I hated you. |
| 00:13:41 |
You hated me? |
| 00:13:42 |
You were right, about me. |
| 00:13:45 |
You're not a ghoul, OK, |
| 00:13:47 |
Am I afraid of a real relationship? |
| 00:13:50 |
Do I think an affair is all I deserve? |
| 00:13:54 |
I mean... ok, he's handsome |
| 00:13:58 |
He's great in bed. |
| 00:14:00 |
Oh, God be quiet! |
| 00:14:02 |
Fine. |
| 00:14:10 |
When I told him I couldn't |
| 00:14:14 |
I don't know if he cared. |
| 00:14:17 |
I love him, |
| 00:14:18 |
And I don't know if he cares. |
| 00:14:23 |
I'm sure he does care. |
| 00:14:26 |
Ok. He's probably not very |
| 00:14:33 |
Ok, let's just calm down, don't |
| 00:14:37 |
'cause it's a rental. |
| 00:14:38 |
Oh, God! |
| 00:14:40 |
What? |
| 00:14:44 |
Oh! That's grim! |
| 00:14:57 |
Alison, what's your address? |
| 00:15:00 |
Alison I need to know your address. |
| 00:15:03 |
How? |
| 00:15:14 |
Not my stairs no. |
| 00:15:15 |
Will you shut up? |
| 00:15:16 |
You'll wake the old bitch up. |
| 00:15:21 |
Hi. |
| 00:15:22 |
Did we wake you? |
| 00:15:25 |
God, I'm a whore. |
| 00:15:33 |
- I'm a whore |
| 00:15:46 |
I love this song. |
| 00:15:50 |
She's not actually a prostitute. |
| 00:15:53 |
Oh, good. |
| 00:15:59 |
So Sidney's dad. |
| 00:16:01 |
I'm Alison. |
| 00:16:02 |
Delighted to meet you. |
| 00:16:03 |
I'm from Port Huron. |
| 00:16:06 |
And you must be Sidney's mummy. |
| 00:16:08 |
No, I'm not. |
| 00:16:09 |
Oh, ok, I mean my dad remarried too, |
| 00:16:14 |
Do you have any cigarettes? |
| 00:16:17 |
What is this? |
| 00:16:20 |
Oh, hey, is this... ? |
| 00:16:24 |
I think it's probably cocaine. |
| 00:16:27 |
It wasn't actually for me. |
| 00:16:29 |
It was going to give it |
| 00:16:36 |
So Mr. Sidney. |
| 00:16:40 |
Please call me Richard. |
| 00:16:42 |
Well I've written a little book. |
| 00:16:45 |
And I was doing some talks. |
| 00:16:47 |
I'm writing a book. |
| 00:16:48 |
What's yours about? |
| 00:16:49 |
I write books on... |
| 00:16:51 |
philosophy, ideas. |
| 00:16:54 |
Oh my god. |
| 00:16:56 |
Richard Young. |
| 00:16:59 |
You're RC Young. |
| 00:17:01 |
You never said your |
| 00:17:03 |
I brought you a copy of the book |
| 00:17:06 |
What's he know about philosophy? |
| 00:17:09 |
Well he does have a |
| 00:17:11 |
You're shitting me. |
| 00:17:13 |
He likes "Con Air". |
| 00:17:17 |
Oh, I don't feel very good. |
| 00:17:20 |
Come on. |
| 00:17:22 |
Ok. |
| 00:17:24 |
You can sleep on the couch. |
| 00:17:26 |
It was a pleasure to meet |
| 00:17:40 |
You really should have said |
| 00:17:43 |
That would have required you |
| 00:17:45 |
Well, I've been kind of busy. |
| 00:17:47 |
Of course. |
| 00:17:48 |
I picked up your magazine |
| 00:17:51 |
Most enjoyable. |
| 00:17:53 |
I particularly like the |
| 00:17:56 |
Who said she would like to start |
| 00:17:59 |
Like London or England. |
| 00:18:03 |
Why must you always do this? |
| 00:18:04 |
It's just a little joke. |
| 00:18:05 |
It's not a little joke, is it? |
| 00:18:07 |
Basically you're saying |
| 00:18:10 |
I don't think it's worthless, |
| 00:18:14 |
More? |
| 00:18:16 |
Sharp's Magazine is one of the |
| 00:18:19 |
There's a million hacks that would |
| 00:18:23 |
You know who I hung out |
| 00:18:25 |
Orlando Bloom. |
| 00:18:29 |
I don't know who that is. |
| 00:18:30 |
Of course you don't know who that is, |
| 00:18:33 |
You thought Brad Pitt was |
| 00:18:35 |
Most people do know |
| 00:18:38 |
And most people wouldn't think a journalist |
| 00:18:41 |
was a disappointment. |
| 00:18:42 |
I don't think you're a disappointment. |
| 00:18:45 |
I never thought that. |
| 00:18:50 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:18:52 |
I didn't mean to upset you. |
| 00:19:01 |
Things haven't been that |
| 00:19:03 |
I don't know why, |
| 00:19:08 |
If you're not happy... |
| 00:19:10 |
No, I'm fine. |
| 00:19:11 |
Really I can make it, I know it. |
| 00:19:17 |
Einstein said... |
| 00:19:19 |
try not to become a |
| 00:19:23 |
Rather become a man of |
| 00:19:28 |
The young lady in the bedroom there, |
| 00:19:32 |
do with your desire to stay on, |
| 00:19:33 |
No. |
| 00:19:35 |
We're just friends. |
| 00:19:36 |
She says that New York women |
| 00:19:38 |
I suppose not. |
| 00:19:41 |
But Alison is from Port Huron |
| 00:20:29 |
Hi. |
| 00:20:32 |
Hi. |
| 00:20:33 |
That's a good look for you. |
| 00:20:35 |
I don't remember much from last |
| 00:20:41 |
Oh my god, your father. |
| 00:20:44 |
And that woman. |
| 00:20:46 |
Oh, Mrs. Kowalski. |
| 00:20:47 |
Don't worry about it. |
| 00:20:50 |
The last woman she caught |
| 00:20:51 |
You're a big step up. |
| 00:20:53 |
Thanks. |
| 00:20:58 |
Who's that? |
| 00:21:00 |
That's my mother. |
| 00:21:01 |
No way. |
| 00:21:03 |
Is she a model? |
| 00:21:04 |
Actress. |
| 00:21:05 |
In movies? |
| 00:21:06 |
Some, you know, |
| 00:21:08 |
And she still... |
| 00:21:09 |
No. She died when I was |
| 00:21:16 |
Must be pretty cool having |
| 00:21:20 |
Well I used to stare at |
| 00:21:23 |
when I was growing up. |
| 00:21:24 |
You know, just kind of weird. |
| 00:21:29 |
Ok, a full English fry up. |
| 00:21:31 |
Perfect hang-over cure. |
| 00:21:34 |
Get your gob around that. |
| 00:21:39 |
Not again. |
| 00:22:08 |
Hi. |
| 00:22:10 |
I was just... |
| 00:22:13 |
rooting through your |
| 00:22:17 |
I like the opening. |
| 00:22:19 |
You don't. |
| 00:22:20 |
Yeah. |
| 00:22:20 |
Got to read the rest of it. Believe it |
| 00:22:23 |
I don't know, I don't even |
| 00:22:26 |
Keep true to the dreams of thy youth. |
| 00:22:30 |
Is that Troy again? |
| 00:22:31 |
It's Xilla. |
| 00:22:37 |
I'm going to jump in the shower and then |
| 00:22:40 |
Well, wait 'cause I got you a present. |
| 00:22:45 |
I was walking past this record |
| 00:22:47 |
I thought it might... |
| 00:22:48 |
cheer you up. |
| 00:22:52 |
You said it was |
| 00:22:55 |
That is... I don't even know |
| 00:23:04 |
I don't have a turn-table. |
| 00:23:08 |
Well you can always come |
| 00:23:24 |
Are you kidding? |
| 00:23:26 |
I can throw up on you again. |
| 00:23:27 |
Come on. |
| 00:23:28 |
Come on. |
| 00:23:34 |
Come let me show you. |
| 00:24:19 |
Hey Alice. |
| 00:24:20 |
Versace? You like? |
| 00:24:23 |
I'm good thanks. |
| 00:24:24 |
You know honey, everybody needs to |
| 00:24:27 |
Especially when they have |
| 00:24:30 |
What? |
| 00:24:32 |
What are you talking about? |
| 00:24:33 |
Well the English guy is always |
| 00:24:36 |
Tell me it isn't so? |
| 00:24:38 |
Of course not. |
| 00:24:39 |
Thank god, can you imagine. |
| 00:24:45 |
This is gorgeous, but |
| 00:24:47 |
Don't be crazy. |
| 00:24:49 |
Alice. |
| 00:24:50 |
Is Anna fat? |
| 00:24:51 |
Not at all. Why, she's so thin that |
| 00:24:55 |
and snap her over my knee, |
| 00:24:58 |
And for your information, |
| 00:25:19 |
It works, that's good. |
| 00:25:32 |
Hey Alison. |
| 00:25:33 |
I was wondering if... |
| 00:25:38 |
Hey Alison I was wondering if you |
| 00:25:45 |
Wanna go on a date? |
| 00:25:49 |
Might work. |
| 00:26:15 |
Hello. |
| 00:26:17 |
Hello Sidney. |
| 00:26:19 |
I like your costume Vincent. |
| 00:26:21 |
I'm not wearing a costume. |
| 00:26:25 |
- Idiot. |
| 00:26:35 |
Ok, see you. |
| 00:26:42 |
George Hamilton. |
| 00:26:44 |
George Hamilton's not dead. |
| 00:26:45 |
Isn't he? Ok. |
| 00:26:47 |
I was looking for you actually. |
| 00:26:48 |
There was something I |
| 00:26:50 |
Me first. |
| 00:26:52 |
I wanted to ask if maybe |
| 00:26:56 |
What? |
| 00:26:57 |
I can't understand what |
| 00:27:01 |
I just wanted to ask you |
| 00:27:04 |
Back in a minute. |
| 00:27:13 |
I wanted to tell you that... |
| 00:27:16 |
Laurence has left his wife and we're |
| 00:27:21 |
That... that's just brilliant. |
| 00:27:25 |
So maybe he does care after all |
| 00:27:35 |
I'm going to... |
| 00:27:55 |
So Alison told you that |
| 00:27:57 |
Yeah. |
| 00:27:59 |
I should have did it long ago. |
| 00:28:03 |
You know me, not very good at |
| 00:28:09 |
You should be happy |
| 00:28:11 |
You being friends and all. |
| 00:28:14 |
Oh, Sidney. |
| 00:28:17 |
I thought as much. |
| 00:28:21 |
You really think you and Alison... |
| 00:28:30 |
Ah well, give it your best shot. |
| 00:28:40 |
Take the Westside highway please. |
| 00:28:42 |
Wait. |
| 00:28:45 |
Let me write the |
| 00:28:48 |
I don't think so. |
| 00:28:50 |
You get complete copy approval, |
| 00:28:56 |
Vincent, think about it. |
| 00:28:58 |
Think of how humiliating |
| 00:29:00 |
Please, I'm begging you. |
| 00:29:05 |
You don't look like you're begging. |
| 00:29:20 |
Westside Highway please. |
| 00:29:53 |
Sit down Sidney. |
| 00:29:57 |
Lawrence Maddox is no longer |
| 00:30:01 |
Seems Elizabeth got tired of him |
| 00:30:04 |
She kicked him out? |
| 00:30:06 |
Richard Heywood doesn't seem to like |
| 00:30:10 |
So he's gone. |
| 00:30:14 |
So is Alison Olsen. |
| 00:30:18 |
He's already got something lined |
| 00:30:20 |
I going to need somebody |
| 00:30:23 |
At "I Spy". |
| 00:30:25 |
Strictly on a temporary basis, |
| 00:30:29 |
Oh, one more thing. |
| 00:30:30 |
I had a call from Eleanor Johnson |
| 00:30:33 |
Wanting to know if you would like |
| 00:30:41 |
I don't know how you did it Sidney, |
| 00:30:44 |
made it to the next room. |
| 00:31:36 |
Vincent Lepak |
| 00:31:38 |
By Sidney Young |
| 00:32:38 |
Nice robe. |
| 00:32:40 |
Oh, thanks. |
| 00:32:41 |
Ralph Lauren, it was a gift. |
| 00:32:44 |
Who from? |
| 00:32:45 |
Ralph Lauren, I was |
| 00:32:50 |
I wanted to say congratulations, |
| 00:32:53 |
I'm really happy for you. |
| 00:32:55 |
Thanks. |
| 00:32:57 |
How's things going with you? |
| 00:32:59 |
Good, fine, everything's... |
| 00:33:01 |
I'm working for this |
| 00:33:04 |
It's in New York. |
| 00:33:06 |
So I left you a bunch of messages. |
| 00:33:09 |
Yeah, I know, I've been so busy. |
| 00:33:12 |
I thought so. |
| 00:33:14 |
How's the novel doing. |
| 00:33:17 |
I am still working on it. |
| 00:33:20 |
You should keep at it. |
| 00:33:22 |
I believe in you. |
| 00:33:24 |
Actually I never give you these. |
| 00:33:33 |
It's just... you know. |
| 00:33:36 |
If you don't want to. |
| 00:33:39 |
I mean... |
| 00:33:41 |
You know... |
| 00:33:45 |
Oh hey Alice. |
| 00:33:50 |
Where did it all go so wrong? |
| 00:33:54 |
Bye. |
| 00:34:04 |
Sophie is going to get an Apollo Film |
| 00:34:09 |
Wow, that's great. |
| 00:34:12 |
But the nominations haven't |
| 00:34:14 |
That is correct. |
| 00:34:16 |
Which is why we have absolutely |
| 00:34:22 |
But when she is nominated, |
| 00:34:26 |
Someone to cover the whole lead-up. |
| 00:34:28 |
Unrestricted access. |
| 00:34:30 |
The trajectory, the building |
| 00:34:34 |
I'm going to have a logo. |
| 00:34:37 |
So here's the deal. |
| 00:34:39 |
Sophie wants you to write the story. |
| 00:34:43 |
You can be my bitch. |
| 00:34:46 |
Merry Christmas Sidney. |
| 00:34:48 |
This is a cover story. |
| 00:34:51 |
I think a little celebration |
| 00:37:17 |
You didn't do it. |
| 00:37:22 |
I couldn't do it, it's very high. |
| 00:37:49 |
What are you? |
| 00:37:50 |
A limpy pig. |
| 00:37:52 |
What? |
| 00:37:53 |
I'm your little limpy pig. |
| 00:37:56 |
Now it's time to pay the forfeit. |
| 00:37:59 |
What you got? |
| 00:38:00 |
I've got my little limpy pig dance. |
| 00:38:11 |
Give me your ring. |
| 00:38:15 |
I can't. |
| 00:38:18 |
Why not? |
| 00:38:19 |
I cannot. |
| 00:38:21 |
Give me your ring. |
| 00:38:22 |
I want it. |
| 00:38:23 |
I can't. |
| 00:38:26 |
Ok. |
| 00:38:27 |
If you give me your ring and I win |
| 00:39:00 |
Oh thank you Mike. |
| 00:39:02 |
I'll buy you a better one, |
| 00:39:04 |
No you won't. |
| 00:39:05 |
I'm always going to keep this one. |
| 00:39:08 |
I'll never part with it. |
| 00:39:09 |
Never, never, never. |
| 00:39:17 |
Let's do it properly. |
| 00:39:19 |
Please. |
| 00:39:57 |
What people don't realize is that |
| 00:40:00 |
All human beings |
| 00:40:13 |
Well, well. |
| 00:40:19 |
Congratulations. |
| 00:40:20 |
Your fortune right. |
| 00:40:21 |
You go up and I go down. |
| 00:40:24 |
You're here with Sophie? |
| 00:40:25 |
How about doing your old rabbi |
| 00:40:29 |
Is Alison here? |
| 00:40:29 |
No. |
| 00:40:31 |
We went our separate ways. |
| 00:40:32 |
Actually she left me. |
| 00:40:34 |
She tells me she's in love |
| 00:40:37 |
Nope, not you I'm afraid Sidney. |
| 00:40:40 |
Some guy named Clark. |
| 00:40:43 |
Can you believe it? |
| 00:40:44 |
These are the sacrifices we make. |
| 00:40:47 |
I don't need to tell you. |
| 00:40:48 |
This is not a vacation, vocation... |
| 00:41:01 |
So here I am, at the |
| 00:41:05 |
I got the tux, I got |
| 00:41:07 |
I got the life. |
| 00:41:08 |
I am exactly where |
| 00:41:11 |
I've made it to Shangri La. |
| 00:41:40 |
I gonna have to have the ring back. |
| 00:41:42 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:41:44 |
Hey, what are you doing. |
| 00:41:45 |
What's he doing? |
| 00:41:46 |
Give me the ring back. |
| 00:41:46 |
My mother gave me this ring, |
| 00:41:51 |
I don't want to be on the inside, |
| 00:41:53 |
I don't want to have sex with you. |
| 00:41:55 |
I killed Cuba. |
| 00:42:09 |
Fucking fucker! |
| 00:42:26 |
Sodom and Gomorrah. |
| 00:42:34 |
Sidney Young. |
| 00:42:54 |
Hey Vincent. |
| 00:42:54 |
Sidney. |
| 00:43:00 |
Fuck. |
| 00:43:38 |
Have a nice flight. |
| 00:43:39 |
I need a ticket to New York |
| 00:43:45 |
The next available flight isn't until |
| 00:43:48 |
It arrives at New York at |
| 00:43:51 |
There's nothing sooner? |
| 00:43:54 |
No, I'm afraid not. |
| 00:43:55 |
Fine I'll take it. |
| 00:43:57 |
Hi, you've reached Alison |
| 00:44:00 |
Oh and Joe if that's you I've got |
| 00:44:04 |
See you there. |
| 00:44:06 |
Alison's it's me, it's Sidney. |
| 00:44:07 |
Listen, my battery is very low... |
| 00:44:11 |
Can I see you? |
| 00:44:12 |
I don't think I'm going to be |
| 00:44:14 |
But it's fine. |
| 00:44:15 |
I thought I wanted all that stuff. |
| 00:44:18 |
I wanted to be special. |
| 00:44:19 |
To have the money and be treated |
| 00:44:21 |
Can I have an upgrade. |
| 00:44:24 |
But I don't, ok? |
| 00:44:25 |
Who's Joe? |
| 00:44:42 |
Can I get your autograph? |
| 00:44:45 |
What, 'cause I'm on the TV? |
| 00:44:46 |
'Cause I'm up there close to |
| 00:44:50 |
You think I'm special? |
| 00:44:51 |
For your credit card. |
| 00:44:54 |
Yes. |
| 00:44:57 |
Do you have any baggage? |
| 00:45:00 |
Plenty. |
| 00:46:00 |
Stop the car, stop the car. |
| 00:46:59 |
Hi. |
| 00:47:02 |
Hi. |
| 00:47:07 |
How's the novel coming on? |
| 00:47:12 |
It's finished. |
| 00:47:17 |
Thanks for the editing. |
