|
Hudsucker Proxy The
|
| 00:00:36 |
That's right. |
| 00:00:39 |
New York. |
| 00:00:41 |
It's 1958. |
| 00:00:44 |
Anyway, for a few more minutes it is. |
| 00:00:48 |
Come midnight, it's going to be 1959. |
| 00:00:52 |
A whole other feeling. |
| 00:00:54 |
The New Year. |
| 00:00:57 |
The future. |
| 00:00:59 |
Old Daddy Earth fixing to start |
| 00:01:04 |
Everybody hoping this ride round |
| 00:01:08 |
... a little more gay. |
| 00:01:10 |
All over town, champagne corks |
| 00:01:15 |
Over in the Waldorf, the big shots is |
| 00:01:21 |
In Times Square, the little folks is watching |
| 00:01:28 |
They're all trying to catch hold |
| 00:01:32 |
... to be able to say: |
| 00:01:34 |
"Right now! This is it! |
| 00:01:36 |
"I got it!" |
| 00:01:40 |
Of course, by then it'll be past. |
| 00:01:42 |
But they're all happy... |
| 00:01:45 |
... everybody having a good time. |
| 00:01:48 |
Well, almost everybody. |
| 00:01:51 |
There's a few lost souls |
| 00:01:56 |
Now, if y'all ain't from the city... |
| 00:01:59 |
... we got something here |
| 00:02:03 |
Got a way of chewing folks up |
| 00:02:07 |
... don't want no cheering up. |
| 00:02:10 |
Don't care nothing about no New Year's. |
| 00:02:13 |
Out of hope... |
| 00:02:15 |
... out of rope... |
| 00:02:16 |
... out of time. |
| 00:02:19 |
This here is Norville Barnes. |
| 00:02:23 |
That office he's stepping out of... |
| 00:02:25 |
... is the office of the president |
| 00:02:29 |
That's his office. |
| 00:02:32 |
How'd he get so high? |
| 00:02:34 |
And why's he feeling so low? |
| 00:02:38 |
Is he really going to do it? |
| 00:02:41 |
Is Norville really going |
| 00:02:46 |
Well, the future... |
| 00:02:48 |
... that's something you can |
| 00:02:52 |
But the past... |
| 00:02:55 |
... that's another story. |
| 00:05:19 |
So in the third quarter |
| 00:05:22 |
We're up 18%% over last year's |
| 00:05:26 |
...and that, needless to say, |
| 00:05:28 |
Our competition continues to flag |
| 00:05:33 |
Market shares in most divisions |
| 00:05:36 |
...and we have opened |
| 00:05:39 |
Our international division... |
| 00:05:41 |
...is also showing vigorous signs of upward |
| 00:05:45 |
...and we're looking |
| 00:06:29 |
Sub-franchising. Don't talk to me |
| 00:06:32 |
We're making so much money |
| 00:06:35 |
...it isn't even funny. |
| 00:06:37 |
Our nominees and assigns continue |
| 00:06:41 |
...extending our influence nationally |
| 00:06:45 |
Our owned and operateds are performing... |
| 00:06:47 |
...far beyond our expectations |
| 00:06:51 |
And the Federal Tax Act of 1958... |
| 00:06:53 |
...is giving us a swell write-off |
| 00:07:23 |
And our last debenture issue |
| 00:07:27 |
So, third quarter and year-to-date... |
| 00:07:30 |
...we have set a new record in sales, |
| 00:07:34 |
...a new record in pre-tax earnings... |
| 00:07:37 |
...a new record in after-tax profits... |
| 00:07:40 |
...and our stock has split twice |
| 00:07:43 |
In short... |
| 00:07:49 |
...we're loaded. |
| 00:08:43 |
Mr. Hudsucker? |
| 00:10:30 |
It's a pity to waste a whole Monte Cristo. |
| 00:10:34 |
He could've opened the window. |
| 00:10:35 |
Waring Hudsucker never did anything |
| 00:10:39 |
Why? Why did he do it? |
| 00:10:43 |
What am I, a headshrinker? |
| 00:10:46 |
He didn't look unhappy. |
| 00:10:48 |
- He didn't look rich. |
| 00:10:52 |
He built this company with his bare hands. |
| 00:10:55 |
Every step he took was a step up... |
| 00:10:59 |
...except, of course, this last one. |
| 00:11:01 |
He was a swell fella... |
| 00:11:03 |
...but when the president, chairman |
| 00:11:07 |
...drops... |
| 00:11:09 |
...44 floors... |
| 00:11:10 |
45. |
| 00:11:11 |
Counting the mezzanine. |
| 00:11:13 |
Then the company, too, has a problem. |
| 00:11:18 |
What exactly is the disposition |
| 00:11:21 |
As you know... |
| 00:11:22 |
...Hud left no will and no family. |
| 00:11:24 |
The company bylaws are quite clear |
| 00:11:27 |
"His entire portfolio will be converted |
| 00:11:31 |
"...and will be sold over the counter |
| 00:11:35 |
- "...following his demise." |
| 00:11:38 |
Meaning simply that Waring's stock |
| 00:11:42 |
...will be made available |
| 00:11:47 |
Do you mean to say... |
| 00:11:48 |
...that any slob in a smelly T-shirt |
| 00:11:52 |
The company bylaws are quite clear. |
| 00:11:54 |
My God! You're animals! |
| 00:11:56 |
How can you discuss his stock |
| 00:12:01 |
44. |
| 00:12:02 |
Not counting the mezzanine. |
| 00:12:03 |
Quit showboating. |
| 00:12:05 |
The man is gone. The question now |
| 00:12:07 |
...John Q. Public waltz in here |
| 00:12:10 |
What are you suggesting? |
| 00:12:12 |
Certainly we can't afford |
| 00:12:16 |
Not while the stock is this strong. |
| 00:12:19 |
How soon before Hud's paper |
| 00:12:21 |
January 1st. |
| 00:12:22 |
- Thirty days. |
| 00:12:24 |
- A month at the most. |
| 00:12:26 |
...to make the blue-chip investment |
| 00:12:28 |
...look like a round-trip ticket |
| 00:12:30 |
We play up the fact that Hud is dead. |
| 00:12:33 |
Long live the Hud! |
| 00:12:35 |
We depress the stock. |
| 00:12:36 |
- To the point where we can buy 50%% . |
| 00:12:39 |
Not counting the mezzanine. |
| 00:12:40 |
It could work. |
| 00:12:41 |
- It should work. |
| 00:12:43 |
It's working already. |
| 00:12:46 |
Waring Hudsucker is abstract art |
| 00:12:50 |
What we need now is a new president |
| 00:12:54 |
- A puppet! |
| 00:12:56 |
A pawn! |
| 00:12:59 |
Some jerk... |
| 00:13:01 |
...we can really push around. |
| 00:13:05 |
You punch in at 8:30 every a.m., |
| 00:13:09 |
...unless it's a Monday, then it's 8:00. |
| 00:13:11 |
- Punch in late and they dock you. |
| 00:13:15 |
Incoming articles get a voucher. |
| 00:13:18 |
Move any article without a voucher, |
| 00:13:21 |
Take this up to the secretarial pool |
| 00:13:23 |
Letter-size, a green voucher! |
| 00:13:26 |
Parcel-size, a maroon voucher! |
| 00:13:28 |
This is for Morgatross! Chop-chop! |
| 00:13:30 |
Wrong color voucher and they dock you! |
| 00:13:33 |
6-7-8-7-0-4-9-Alpha-6! |
| 00:13:36 |
That is your employee number! |
| 00:13:39 |
Without it, you can't cash your paycheck. |
| 00:13:42 |
All right! This goes up to 27! |
| 00:13:44 |
Return a waiver! |
| 00:13:47 |
Inter-office mail is code 37! |
| 00:13:51 |
Outside mail is 3-37. |
| 00:13:53 |
Code it wrong and they dock you! |
| 00:13:55 |
I was supposed to have this on 28 |
| 00:13:58 |
This has been your orientation. |
| 00:14:03 |
If you have not been fully orientated, |
| 00:14:07 |
File a faulty complaint, and they dock you! |
| 00:14:15 |
Kloppitt. |
| 00:14:16 |
Kloppitt, Kloppitt, Kloppitt, Kloppitt... |
| 00:14:19 |
Max Kloppitt. |
| 00:14:21 |
"Max Kloppitt, Jr." |
| 00:14:32 |
What do you do when the envelope |
| 00:14:36 |
If you fold them, they fire you. |
| 00:14:41 |
I usually throw them out. |
| 00:14:49 |
Just got hired today. |
| 00:14:51 |
Terrific. |
| 00:14:53 |
Entry level. |
| 00:14:57 |
But... |
| 00:14:58 |
...I got big ideas. |
| 00:15:01 |
I'm sure you do. |
| 00:15:02 |
For instance... |
| 00:15:05 |
...look at this sweet baby. |
| 00:15:10 |
I developed it myself. |
| 00:15:11 |
Yes, sirree, this is my ticket upstairs. |
| 00:15:18 |
You know, for kids. |
| 00:15:20 |
Terrific. |
| 00:15:22 |
So, you see. I won't be working |
| 00:15:25 |
No, I don't guess you will be. |
| 00:15:28 |
How long've you been here? |
| 00:15:30 |
Forty-eight years. |
| 00:15:32 |
Next year they move me up to parcels... |
| 00:15:35 |
...if I'm lucky. |
| 00:15:39 |
Attention Hudsucker employees: |
| 00:15:41 |
We regretfully announce |
| 00:15:45 |
... Hudsucker time... |
| 00:15:46 |
... Waring Hudsucker, Founder, President... |
| 00:15:49 |
... and Chairman of the Board |
| 00:15:52 |
... merged with the infinite. |
| 00:15:54 |
To mark this occasion of corporate loss... |
| 00:15:57 |
... we ask that all employees observe |
| 00:16:08 |
Thank you for your kind attention. |
| 00:16:10 |
This moment has been duly noted |
| 00:16:13 |
... and will be deducted from your pay. |
| 00:16:20 |
Blue letter! |
| 00:16:21 |
Blue letter! |
| 00:16:22 |
They're bringing a blue letter! |
| 00:16:58 |
It's a blue letter. |
| 00:17:01 |
Top, top level. |
| 00:17:03 |
Confidential communication |
| 00:17:06 |
Usually bad news. |
| 00:17:08 |
They hate blue letters upstairs. |
| 00:17:14 |
Hate them. |
| 00:17:15 |
You! |
| 00:17:17 |
Yeah, you! Barnes! |
| 00:17:19 |
You don't look busy! |
| 00:17:21 |
Think you can handle a blue letter? |
| 00:17:23 |
This letter was sent this morning |
| 00:17:28 |
It's addressed to Sid Mussburger, |
| 00:17:31 |
It's a blue letter! |
| 00:17:33 |
That means you got to put it right |
| 00:17:36 |
No secretaries! No receptionists! |
| 00:17:39 |
No colleagues! No excuses! |
| 00:17:42 |
Mussburger! |
| 00:17:45 |
Hi! My name's Buzz, I got the fuzz, |
| 00:17:50 |
Hang it up to dry. |
| 00:17:52 |
- What's your pleasure? |
| 00:17:54 |
Forty-four, the top-brass floor. |
| 00:17:57 |
...what takes 50 years to get to |
| 00:18:01 |
Waring Hudsucker! You get it, buddy? |
| 00:18:03 |
Say, buddy! Mr. Kline, up to nine. |
| 00:18:07 |
- Mr. Levin, 37. |
| 00:18:09 |
Walk down! |
| 00:18:10 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:18:12 |
Here comes the gargantuan Mr. Grier. |
| 00:18:16 |
Buddy, who's the most liquid businessman |
| 00:18:20 |
Waring Hudsucker. |
| 00:18:22 |
When is the sidewalk fully dressed? |
| 00:18:27 |
You get it? |
| 00:18:28 |
It's a pun, a knee-slapper, |
| 00:18:31 |
Is that a blue letter? |
| 00:18:33 |
Why didn't you tell a guy? Hold on, folks, |
| 00:18:52 |
Good luck, buddy. |
| 00:18:57 |
You'll need it. |
| 00:19:11 |
Mr. Mussburger's office? |
| 00:20:10 |
Hello. |
| 00:20:12 |
Do you have an appointment? |
| 00:20:16 |
Shall we look in the book? |
| 00:20:20 |
- We don't seem to be in the book. |
| 00:20:23 |
If we had an appointment, |
| 00:20:28 |
I have this... |
| 00:20:29 |
Oh, here it is. |
| 00:20:36 |
Gambotz? |
| 00:20:38 |
Harry Gambotz? |
| 00:20:40 |
No, too risky. |
| 00:20:44 |
Who is he? |
| 00:20:45 |
No, I want an imbecile, |
| 00:20:51 |
They moved him to grommets and O-rings. |
| 00:20:53 |
He's doing pretty well. |
| 00:20:55 |
No, not McClanahan. |
| 00:20:58 |
He bungled the Teleyard merger |
| 00:21:01 |
Who let you in? |
| 00:21:03 |
Atwater? Tremendous. |
| 00:21:07 |
Mr. Mussburger... |
| 00:21:08 |
... Mr. Bumstead's waiting downstairs. |
| 00:21:10 |
- I'll be right there. |
| 00:21:13 |
Spit it out! |
| 00:21:16 |
Maybe you're |
| 00:21:19 |
We can't use Morris. Been here too long. |
| 00:21:22 |
In fact, why don't you fire him? |
| 00:21:26 |
Make it fast. Fast! |
| 00:21:28 |
Mr. Bumstead is growing restless. |
| 00:21:30 |
Tell him I'll be right there. |
| 00:21:33 |
What are you, a mute? |
| 00:21:36 |
How's the stock? |
| 00:21:37 |
Bad? Well, it's not bad enough. |
| 00:21:40 |
Listen, chump. |
| 00:21:41 |
Either you find me a ding-dong or tender |
| 00:21:45 |
That goes double for you, pal. |
| 00:21:53 |
This better be good. I'm in a bad mood. |
| 00:21:57 |
Sir, I've got something for you |
| 00:22:00 |
...if I could take a minute of your very |
| 00:22:05 |
...l've been working on |
| 00:22:16 |
You know, for kids. |
| 00:22:18 |
It's perfect for Hudsucker, |
| 00:22:21 |
They say inspiration is 99%% perspiration |
| 00:22:25 |
...but I've got to tell you, sir... |
| 00:23:13 |
Sit down, son. |
| 00:23:17 |
Go ahead. |
| 00:23:20 |
Try it on. |
| 00:23:34 |
Put your feet up. |
| 00:23:40 |
Go ahead. |
| 00:23:43 |
Let's get to know one another, shall we? |
| 00:23:47 |
Let's chat... |
| 00:23:52 |
...man-to-man. |
| 00:24:00 |
You're from the basement, aren't you? |
| 00:24:04 |
And weren't blessed with much... |
| 00:24:08 |
...education? |
| 00:24:10 |
Well, I am a college graduate. |
| 00:24:12 |
But you did not excel in your studies. |
| 00:24:15 |
Well, I made the dean's list... |
| 00:24:18 |
...at the Muncie College |
| 00:24:22 |
And your friends called you "jerk," |
| 00:24:26 |
"Dope?" |
| 00:24:27 |
"Dipstick?" |
| 00:24:28 |
"Lamebrain?" "Schmo?" |
| 00:24:30 |
Not even behind your back? |
| 00:24:31 |
They voted me "Most Likely to Succeed." |
| 00:24:34 |
You're fired. |
| 00:24:37 |
Get your feet off my desk, |
| 00:24:41 |
Leave your apron in the locker room. |
| 00:24:44 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:24:45 |
The Bumstead contracts. I've been |
| 00:24:49 |
Get out of here! I'll take care of it! |
| 00:24:52 |
You could have destroyed |
| 00:24:56 |
Mr. Bumstead is threatening to leave. |
| 00:24:58 |
I'm on my way down. |
| 00:25:00 |
We need the first page of the contract |
| 00:25:03 |
Yes, Mr. Mussburger. |
| 00:25:09 |
Out! Out of the office! |
| 00:25:13 |
Down three points? |
| 00:25:14 |
That's encouraging. How about New York? |
| 00:25:18 |
Not that way, through the door! |
| 00:25:20 |
It'll take three hours to retype |
| 00:25:23 |
Where are you going? |
| 00:25:24 |
Get out! Stop that! |
| 00:25:26 |
Mr. Bumstead's threatening to leave. |
| 00:25:28 |
Not the whole contract, just the first page. |
| 00:25:31 |
I'll be there. Give him another magazine. |
| 00:25:33 |
- He says he'll leave. |
| 00:25:37 |
Up on your feet! We don't crawl here |
| 00:25:41 |
- My leg is on fire! |
| 00:25:43 |
It's early yet. Just let me know |
| 00:25:56 |
Oh, my God, the Bumstead contracts! |
| 00:26:03 |
No magazines! No coffee! |
| 00:26:06 |
Mussburger! I want to see Mussburger! |
| 00:26:11 |
Don't worry, Mr. Mussburger, I got you! |
| 00:26:18 |
Pants? |
| 00:26:23 |
Mr. Mussburger, I'm gonna give |
| 00:26:28 |
It'll make them real strong |
| 00:26:32 |
No. Single stitch is fine. |
| 00:26:35 |
But the double stitch lasts forever. |
| 00:26:39 |
Why on earth would I want |
| 00:26:42 |
To pad your account. |
| 00:26:44 |
Single stitch is fine. |
| 00:26:52 |
Damn! |
| 00:27:00 |
What the heck! Mr. Mussburger |
| 00:27:04 |
...l'm going to give him |
| 00:27:07 |
That's some strong stitch, you bet! |
| 00:28:57 |
"The Einstein of Enterprise." |
| 00:29:00 |
"The Edison of Industry." |
| 00:29:03 |
"The Billion-Dollar Cranium!" |
| 00:29:07 |
"Idea Man!" |
| 00:29:10 |
And not one of you has given me |
| 00:29:13 |
Bunch of lamebrains! |
| 00:29:15 |
Facts, figures, charts. |
| 00:29:18 |
I read this morning's Argus |
| 00:29:20 |
I'd wrap a fish in it! |
| 00:29:22 |
I'd use it as kindling! |
| 00:29:23 |
I'd train my poodle on it if he wasn't |
| 00:29:28 |
But I wouldn't pay a nickel |
| 00:29:31 |
Come on, Chief, give us a break. |
| 00:29:34 |
Sure, Tibbs. Take a break. |
| 00:29:36 |
Go to Florida. Lie in the sun. |
| 00:29:39 |
Wait for a coconut to drop. |
| 00:29:42 |
It'd be more of a grabber than your piece |
| 00:29:45 |
The human angle! |
| 00:29:48 |
We need a front page with a heart |
| 00:29:52 |
If we had more access... |
| 00:29:53 |
If a frog had wings |
| 00:29:56 |
I don't want excuses, I want results! |
| 00:29:58 |
What makes the Idea Man tick? |
| 00:30:01 |
I want to know everything about him! |
| 00:30:05 |
Everybody has parents. |
| 00:30:07 |
All right, how many? |
| 00:30:10 |
How about it, Parkinson? |
| 00:30:14 |
Still waters run deep. |
| 00:30:15 |
Only thing deep with Parkinson |
| 00:30:18 |
Yes! Idea Man! |
| 00:30:20 |
What are his hopes and dreams, |
| 00:30:24 |
Does he think all the time |
| 00:30:27 |
How tall is he? Where does he sleep? |
| 00:30:30 |
Does he put jam on his toast |
| 00:30:33 |
If not, why not and since when? |
| 00:30:36 |
Well? |
| 00:30:38 |
You're useless. |
| 00:30:40 |
Yes. Idea Man. |
| 00:30:42 |
"Creator." |
| 00:30:43 |
"Innovator." |
| 00:30:45 |
"Cerebrator." |
| 00:30:47 |
Fake! |
| 00:30:48 |
I tell you, the guy's a phony. |
| 00:30:50 |
- Phony? |
| 00:30:52 |
- Says who? |
| 00:30:54 |
Why is he an Idea Man? |
| 00:30:56 |
What are his ideas? |
| 00:30:59 |
Five bucks says she mentions her Pulitzer. |
| 00:31:02 |
Again? You're on. |
| 00:31:04 |
Look at the mug on this guy. |
| 00:31:06 |
The jutting eyebrows, the simian forehead, |
| 00:31:09 |
He has a face only a mother could love... |
| 00:31:12 |
...on payday. |
| 00:31:14 |
The only story here is |
| 00:31:17 |
Like it or not, I'm still editor of this rag. |
| 00:31:19 |
I thought you were writing, |
| 00:31:23 |
- I filed it yesterday. Nice tie, Earl. |
| 00:31:26 |
"Hoover: Crimebuster or Pantywaist?" |
| 00:31:28 |
The rest of you mugs get some brains |
| 00:31:33 |
He's the bunk. |
| 00:31:40 |
I'll stake my Pulitzer on it! |
| 00:31:45 |
Say, buddy, where'd you get the new duds? |
| 00:31:47 |
Say, buddy, how did Old Bucketbutt |
| 00:31:50 |
Did he bust a gut? Did he die? |
| 00:31:54 |
Lobby, we haven't got all day. |
| 00:31:55 |
Right away, Mr. Mussburger. |
| 00:31:57 |
How're you this fine morning, sir? |
| 00:32:00 |
It's been a pleasure serving you today, sir. |
| 00:32:02 |
It's been a pleasure serving you too, buddy. |
| 00:32:05 |
Shouldn't we be a little concerned |
| 00:32:09 |
...these past few days? |
| 00:32:10 |
You're the expert, |
| 00:32:13 |
Relax, it's only natural... |
| 00:32:15 |
...in a period of transition for |
| 00:32:19 |
Like I said, you're the expert |
| 00:32:22 |
...the day I set fire to your... |
| 00:32:26 |
I do remember and I was impressed. |
| 00:32:32 |
Thank you, Sid. |
| 00:32:34 |
The reason I mention it is it requires |
| 00:32:38 |
- There's a huge potential profit... |
| 00:32:41 |
...given the demographics boom |
| 00:32:44 |
So if you agree, I'd like to bounce the idea |
| 00:32:48 |
Sure. |
| 00:32:50 |
Tell whoever you want. |
| 00:33:03 |
I got gas, Benny. |
| 00:33:06 |
Tell me about it. |
| 00:33:08 |
No kidding, Benny. I got gas. |
| 00:33:11 |
You get the special? |
| 00:33:13 |
Far from it. |
| 00:33:18 |
Enter the dame. |
| 00:33:20 |
There's one in every story. |
| 00:33:22 |
Ten bucks says she's looking for a handout. |
| 00:33:25 |
Twenty bucks says not here, |
| 00:33:29 |
She's looking for her mark. |
| 00:33:30 |
She finds him. |
| 00:33:32 |
She sits down and orders... |
| 00:33:36 |
...a light lunch. |
| 00:33:38 |
How will she pay for this lunch? |
| 00:33:40 |
She looks through her purse. |
| 00:33:42 |
No money. |
| 00:33:44 |
The mark notices. |
| 00:33:47 |
He's not noticing, Benny. |
| 00:33:49 |
Maybe he's wise. |
| 00:33:51 |
He don't look wise. |
| 00:33:54 |
Plan two. |
| 00:33:56 |
Here come the waterworks. |
| 00:33:58 |
- Yellowstone. |
| 00:34:00 |
Hello, Niagara. |
| 00:34:02 |
He notices. |
| 00:34:04 |
She's distressed. |
| 00:34:05 |
He's concerned. |
| 00:34:07 |
She explains her predicament. |
| 00:34:10 |
And... |
| 00:34:11 |
Enter the light lunch. |
| 00:34:15 |
She's got other problems, of course. |
| 00:34:17 |
There's illness in the family. |
| 00:34:19 |
- Her mother needs an operation. |
| 00:34:22 |
- Adenoids. |
| 00:34:25 |
Lumbago. |
| 00:34:27 |
That gag's got whiskers on it. |
| 00:34:31 |
He ain't biting, Benny. |
| 00:34:33 |
- She's losing him, Lou. |
| 00:34:36 |
He don't look wise. |
| 00:34:38 |
- How does she pull this out? |
| 00:34:41 |
She better think fast. |
| 00:34:43 |
She isn't. |
| 00:34:45 |
She is! |
| 00:34:47 |
She's good, Benny. |
| 00:34:49 |
She's damn good, Lou. |
| 00:34:52 |
Can I get you boys anything else? |
| 00:34:57 |
Bromo. |
| 00:34:59 |
Bromo. |
| 00:35:02 |
I'm sorry we had to take the stairs. |
| 00:35:05 |
I can't say how much I appreciate |
| 00:35:09 |
I'm lucky to find someone in this bustling |
| 00:35:14 |
There I was, travelling |
| 00:35:16 |
Some I met were kind to me, |
| 00:35:18 |
Traveling by motor bus, rail, |
| 00:35:21 |
The couch, please. |
| 00:35:22 |
Hoarding every dollar, counting |
| 00:35:26 |
It's been a long road leading |
| 00:35:29 |
Not that I'd trade a day, an hour, |
| 00:35:33 |
I don't know what came over me. |
| 00:35:34 |
I guess it was the shock of eating |
| 00:35:37 |
...without the enzymes kicking in |
| 00:35:43 |
Then you couldn't possibly know |
| 00:35:47 |
Hungry, anyway. |
| 00:35:48 |
I don't want to bore you with details |
| 00:35:51 |
Suffice to say I'm jobless, |
| 00:35:54 |
I'm friendless, with no one to take care |
| 00:35:58 |
...exactly when you did... |
| 00:36:00 |
I arrived in town not ten days ago... |
| 00:36:02 |
...full of dreams, anxious to make my way |
| 00:36:06 |
...a little naive perhaps, |
| 00:36:09 |
...a solid work ethic, |
| 00:36:11 |
- I, myself... |
| 00:36:13 |
...that unsullied optimism, dashed against |
| 00:36:17 |
Such is life. Seek and ye shall find. |
| 00:36:20 |
- Cigarette? |
| 00:36:21 |
Seek and ye shall find, |
| 00:36:24 |
These were the watchwords, |
| 00:36:27 |
...the values instilled in me... |
| 00:36:28 |
...while I was growing up in a town |
| 00:36:32 |
- Mind if I join you? |
| 00:36:33 |
A town you've probably never heard of... |
| 00:36:36 |
...a dusty crossroads of which |
| 00:36:40 |
Excuse me. Executive washroom. |
| 00:36:46 |
Are you all right? |
| 00:36:50 |
Is it your lunch? The chicken à la king? |
| 00:36:55 |
Is the à la king repeating on you? |
| 00:36:57 |
No, I'm fine. You were saying? |
| 00:37:03 |
Values, watchwords, tender years. |
| 00:37:06 |
A little town you've probably |
| 00:37:09 |
Muncie, Indiana. |
| 00:37:12 |
You're from Muncie? |
| 00:37:14 |
Why, yes. |
| 00:37:16 |
Do you know it? |
| 00:37:34 |
"Fight on |
| 00:37:40 |
"Fight on |
| 00:37:44 |
"You'll be tattered, torn and hurting |
| 00:37:48 |
"Once the Munce is done with... |
| 00:37:53 |
"...you. |
| 00:37:59 |
"Go... |
| 00:38:01 |
"Go... |
| 00:38:03 |
"...Eagles! |
| 00:38:04 |
"...Eagles!" |
| 00:38:09 |
A Muncie girl! |
| 00:38:13 |
I'm going to cancel the rest |
| 00:38:16 |
...and get you a job right here at Hud. |
| 00:38:18 |
Oh, no! Really... |
| 00:38:20 |
Don't bother to thank me. It's easy. |
| 00:38:24 |
Mailroom. |
| 00:38:27 |
Good afternoon, this is Norville Barnes. |
| 00:38:28 |
Barnes! Where the hell have you been? |
| 00:38:33 |
I'm not sure. |
| 00:38:35 |
I need that voucher! |
| 00:38:39 |
I'm president of the company now. |
| 00:38:41 |
I don't care if you're president |
| 00:38:44 |
I need the voucher now! |
| 00:38:48 |
Why don't you work in here with me? |
| 00:38:50 |
Are you familiar with |
| 00:38:52 |
Well, of course. I went |
| 00:38:57 |
A Muncie girl! Can you beat that? |
| 00:39:00 |
I just don't know how to thank you, |
| 00:39:03 |
Please, Norville. |
| 00:39:05 |
Go, Eagles! |
| 00:39:07 |
Go, Eagles! |
| 00:39:12 |
"Once the Munce..." |
| 00:39:14 |
Holy moly! |
| 00:39:15 |
Is this guy from Chumpsville? |
| 00:39:19 |
Adenoids? |
| 00:39:19 |
Lumbago. |
| 00:39:21 |
That gag's got whiskers on it. |
| 00:39:23 |
I'm telling you, the Hudsucker Board's |
| 00:39:25 |
What's a six-letter word |
| 00:39:28 |
It's a cinch. Goiter. |
| 00:39:31 |
She's right here. |
| 00:39:33 |
How much time to make the late final? |
| 00:39:36 |
Hi, Chief, just the person |
| 00:39:38 |
About seven minutes. |
| 00:39:40 |
I was all wet about your Idea Man. |
| 00:39:42 |
Well, thanks for being so generous. |
| 00:39:47 |
No, he's no faker. |
| 00:39:50 |
He's a 100%% real McCoy, |
| 00:39:53 |
The guy's a real moron, |
| 00:39:57 |
As pure a specimen as I've ever run across. |
| 00:40:01 |
If I'm not an expert... |
| 00:40:03 |
...then my name isn't Amy Archer |
| 00:40:07 |
In 1957. |
| 00:40:09 |
My series on the reunited triplets. |
| 00:40:12 |
Come down here, hammerhead, |
| 00:40:15 |
What's a three-letter word |
| 00:40:18 |
Not now, I'm busy. |
| 00:40:19 |
I said, "hammerhead" as in a ten-letter |
| 00:40:24 |
Gnu. That's G-N-U. |
| 00:40:25 |
Couldn't find the Empire State Building |
| 00:40:29 |
Or emu? |
| 00:40:30 |
That's just potatoes. Here's the gravy. |
| 00:40:34 |
- A Muncie girl! |
| 00:40:37 |
This guy's just a patsy |
| 00:40:39 |
There's a real story here, some kind |
| 00:40:44 |
- He didn't offer you money? |
| 00:40:46 |
Ten smackers! Let's grab a highball! |
| 00:40:48 |
On Norville Barnes. |
| 00:40:51 |
Copy! |
| 00:41:21 |
Miss Smith, would you come in |
| 00:41:25 |
Of all the cockamamie... |
| 00:41:29 |
Did you see the front page |
| 00:41:32 |
I didn't bother to read the article. |
| 00:41:37 |
The picture's fine. |
| 00:41:38 |
It's what that knuckle-headed dame |
| 00:41:42 |
Take this down. |
| 00:41:43 |
Dear Miss Archer: |
| 00:41:46 |
I call you "Miss" because you seem to have |
| 00:41:49 |
How would you know if I'm an imbecile... |
| 00:41:51 |
...when you didn't have the guts |
| 00:41:54 |
Change "man-to-man" to "face-to-face." |
| 00:41:56 |
No, change "face-to-face" to "eye-to-eye" |
| 00:42:00 |
These wild speculations |
| 00:42:02 |
...these preposterous inventions |
| 00:42:04 |
...for the pages of Amazing Tales Magazine. |
| 00:42:07 |
If the editors of the Manhattan Argus |
| 00:42:10 |
...to publish the work of a disordered mind, |
| 00:42:14 |
But I doubt it. |
| 00:42:16 |
I most seriously doubt it. I doubt also |
| 00:42:20 |
...a periodical which I have enjoyed |
| 00:42:24 |
...et cetera. |
| 00:42:32 |
Is that all, Mr. Barnes? |
| 00:42:36 |
You know me, Amy, better than this dame. |
| 00:42:40 |
Well, I'm sure I... |
| 00:42:42 |
Tell the truth. I trust you. |
| 00:42:47 |
Oh, sure, you're biased. |
| 00:42:49 |
You're a fellow Muncian. |
| 00:42:52 |
But let me ask you a question: |
| 00:42:54 |
Would an imbecile come up with this? |
| 00:43:02 |
I designed it myself. |
| 00:43:05 |
This sweet baby will put Hudsucker |
| 00:43:11 |
You know, for kids. |
| 00:43:16 |
Why don't I just type this up? |
| 00:43:18 |
That won't be necessary. |
| 00:43:21 |
She's just doing her job, I guess. |
| 00:43:24 |
I don't know, maybe she does deserve it. |
| 00:43:26 |
Maybe she should have come in here |
| 00:43:30 |
- She probably had a deadline. |
| 00:43:34 |
...for the record. |
| 00:43:35 |
It's done now. What's the use |
| 00:43:38 |
Forget the letter, |
| 00:43:41 |
She's probably just a little confused. |
| 00:43:45 |
"Confused?" |
| 00:43:46 |
Probably a fast-talking career gal, |
| 00:43:49 |
Probably is, if you know what I mean. |
| 00:43:51 |
I'm quite sure I don't know what you mean. |
| 00:43:54 |
Probably suffers from one |
| 00:43:57 |
It's obvious. She's probably |
| 00:44:01 |
Is that it? |
| 00:44:03 |
She probably dresses in men's clothing, |
| 00:44:07 |
...hobnobs with some smooth-talking heel |
| 00:44:11 |
Smitty. |
| 00:44:12 |
Exactly. I bet she's ugly, real ugly. |
| 00:44:14 |
Otherwise, why isn't her picture |
| 00:44:17 |
Maybe she puts her work |
| 00:44:21 |
I bet that's what she tells herself. |
| 00:44:23 |
But you and I know |
| 00:44:27 |
How about we grab a little dinner |
| 00:44:29 |
I was thinking maybe The King and I? |
| 00:44:32 |
How about Oklahoma? |
| 00:44:34 |
You don't know a thing about that woman! |
| 00:44:37 |
You don't know who she really is! |
| 00:44:41 |
...about things he knows nothing about. |
| 00:44:45 |
Say, what gives? |
| 00:46:54 |
The inventory of the Jacksonville facility |
| 00:46:57 |
...by 15%% . Memo from the desk |
| 00:47:01 |
What are you doing, Miss Archer? |
| 00:47:12 |
Who are you? |
| 00:47:18 |
I suspect Old Moses knows |
| 00:47:22 |
...leastways if it concerns Hudsucker. |
| 00:47:25 |
Who are you? What do you do here? |
| 00:47:27 |
I keep the old circle turning. |
| 00:47:29 |
This old clock needs plenty of care. |
| 00:47:33 |
Time is money, Miss Archer. |
| 00:47:35 |
Money drives that old global economy... |
| 00:47:38 |
...and keeps Big Daddy Earth |
| 00:47:40 |
See, without that capital formation... |
| 00:47:45 |
You won't tell anyone about me, will you? |
| 00:47:47 |
I don't tell no one nothing... |
| 00:47:51 |
...unless they ask. |
| 00:47:52 |
That just ain't Old Moses' way. |
| 00:47:55 |
If you know everything about Hudsucker... |
| 00:47:57 |
...tell me why the board decided |
| 00:48:01 |
That even surprised Old Moses at first. |
| 00:48:04 |
I didn't think the board was that smart. |
| 00:48:06 |
"That smart?" |
| 00:48:07 |
But then I figured it out. |
| 00:48:10 |
...they figured young Norville for |
| 00:48:15 |
Why on earth would the board |
| 00:48:18 |
Because they're little piglets. |
| 00:48:23 |
...make that stock cheap so they can |
| 00:48:27 |
But Norville's got some tricks |
| 00:48:31 |
"You know, for kids?" |
| 00:48:34 |
Yeah, he's a smart one, that Norville. |
| 00:48:38 |
But I guess you don't really know him |
| 00:48:43 |
Maybe l... |
| 00:48:44 |
And only some kind of knuckle-head thinks |
| 00:48:50 |
When she don't... |
| 00:48:53 |
How'd that go? |
| 00:48:54 |
Well, it's hardly the same. |
| 00:48:56 |
You don't even know your own self. |
| 00:48:59 |
You ain't exactly the genuine article, |
| 00:49:03 |
In connection with my job, sometimes |
| 00:49:08 |
I don't mean that. |
| 00:49:10 |
Why are you pretending to be |
| 00:49:14 |
Ain't going to never make you happy! |
| 00:49:19 |
I'm happy enough. |
| 00:49:26 |
I got gears to see to. |
| 00:49:33 |
I'm plenty happy! |
| 00:49:45 |
I can't print that! |
| 00:49:46 |
Why not? It's true. The board's using him |
| 00:49:50 |
It's pure speculation! |
| 00:49:54 |
They'll buy that stock... |
| 00:49:56 |
You don't know anything. They haven't |
| 00:49:59 |
I don't know. |
| 00:50:00 |
Amy's hunches are usually pretty good. |
| 00:50:03 |
You don't accuse somebody |
| 00:50:05 |
Our readers aren't interested |
| 00:50:08 |
...unsupported speculation! |
| 00:50:10 |
Facts! Figures! Those are the tools |
| 00:50:13 |
It's as if you're trying to take the heat |
| 00:50:17 |
Come on, Chief. That's a low blow. |
| 00:50:19 |
Archer's not going to go gooey |
| 00:50:22 |
I was out of line. But you're out of line |
| 00:50:25 |
Give me more of that |
| 00:50:28 |
- Muncie. |
| 00:50:29 |
That's what sells newspapers! |
| 00:50:31 |
I've got a harder story: |
| 00:50:34 |
- Watch it! |
| 00:50:36 |
Easy, tough guy. |
| 00:50:41 |
Does this suit look mannish to you? |
| 00:50:43 |
Yeah, sure. Let's grab a highball. |
| 00:50:46 |
Back off! |
| 00:50:48 |
Smoocher! |
| 00:50:52 |
What gives? |
| 00:51:09 |
A man of great managerial potency. |
| 00:51:13 |
My husband is also a president. |
| 00:51:15 |
Sears Braithwaite of Bullard. |
| 00:51:19 |
Your companion is an ode! |
| 00:51:21 |
A lyric! Are you betrothed? |
| 00:51:24 |
Amy works in my office. She runs... |
| 00:51:26 |
Oh, the folly of youth! |
| 00:51:29 |
Those green remembered hills! |
| 00:51:31 |
That bourn from which no traveler returns. |
| 00:51:34 |
I once ran the mimeograph for Sidney. |
| 00:51:37 |
Though engaged at the time |
| 00:51:40 |
...my water-cooler romance |
| 00:51:44 |
Un amour fou. Une folie à deux. |
| 00:51:49 |
I'm brushing up on my French |
| 00:51:52 |
...Pierre of 5th Avenue. Do you know him? |
| 00:51:56 |
Sidney and I are planning a trip |
| 00:52:04 |
Aren't we, dear? |
| 00:52:06 |
Sure. I'd like to borrow Norville |
| 00:52:11 |
Well, frankly, I... |
| 00:52:13 |
You have a very charming wife, Mr... Sid. |
| 00:52:16 |
So they tell me. |
| 00:52:18 |
Let me shepherd you |
| 00:52:22 |
Try not to talk too much. |
| 00:52:24 |
Some of our biggest stockholders are... |
| 00:52:27 |
Scratch that. Say whatever you like. |
| 00:52:29 |
Shake hands with |
| 00:52:32 |
Glad to know you, Barnes. |
| 00:52:34 |
This is Zebulon Cardozo... |
| 00:52:36 |
...one of Hudsucker's largest |
| 00:52:39 |
What's this I hear |
| 00:52:41 |
What's ailing you, boy? |
| 00:52:43 |
Last week, my stock was worth twice |
| 00:52:47 |
...the whole kit and caboodle, boy, |
| 00:52:52 |
What you've got here, son, is a range war! |
| 00:52:55 |
You gonna have to circle our wagons |
| 00:53:00 |
No need for concern, sir. |
| 00:53:02 |
...in a period of transition for the more |
| 00:53:06 |
Yellow? I'll show you yellow, boy! |
| 00:53:09 |
You mind now and quit acting |
| 00:53:13 |
Step lively here, Norville. |
| 00:53:15 |
I'm sorry, I thought maybe if I showed him |
| 00:53:19 |
And this is Thorstensen Finlandson... |
| 00:53:22 |
...who heads a radical, splinter group |
| 00:53:24 |
Pleased to meet you. |
| 00:53:26 |
It might interest you to know I studied |
| 00:53:29 |
I hope I'm not too rusty. |
| 00:53:39 |
Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished |
| 00:53:43 |
...I give you the Rajah of Romance, |
| 00:53:47 |
...the incredible, the unforgettable... |
| 00:53:50 |
...Mr. Vic Tenetta! |
| 00:53:59 |
"Rajah." I like that. |
| 00:54:44 |
What happened? |
| 00:54:47 |
Nothing. Just the more timid investors |
| 00:54:52 |
Let me look. |
| 00:54:53 |
Sid found me the ice pack. |
| 00:54:55 |
Let me hold it or you'll have a real shiner. |
| 00:54:59 |
I guess people are pretty hot |
| 00:55:02 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:55:04 |
It's not your fault. You've the one person |
| 00:55:08 |
Norville, there's something |
| 00:55:12 |
You see... |
| 00:55:14 |
...l'm not really a secretary. |
| 00:55:17 |
I know that, Amy. |
| 00:55:18 |
You do? |
| 00:55:19 |
I understand you're not very skilled yet |
| 00:55:22 |
...but I'll tell you a secret: |
| 00:55:26 |
- I know I put up a big front, but... |
| 00:55:31 |
At least... |
| 00:55:32 |
...I believe in your intentions. |
| 00:55:35 |
I don't blame them, really. |
| 00:55:39 |
Those folks have to protect |
| 00:55:41 |
Most of them are very nice people. |
| 00:55:43 |
Listen, you can't trust people here |
| 00:55:47 |
Certain people are... |
| 00:55:49 |
Did you ever go to the top of Larson's |
| 00:55:54 |
On Farm Route 17? |
| 00:55:55 |
Oh, yes, in Muncie. |
| 00:55:59 |
No, Vidalia. Farm Route 17. |
| 00:56:04 |
Seventeen. Yes, I... |
| 00:56:09 |
The guys from the Varsity Squad |
| 00:56:14 |
...to hold hands. |
| 00:56:16 |
Of course, I never made Varsity. |
| 00:56:21 |
There's a place I go now. |
| 00:56:23 |
Cutest little place near my apartment |
| 00:56:26 |
It's called "Ann's 440." |
| 00:56:29 |
It's a beatnik bar. |
| 00:56:30 |
- You don't say? |
| 00:56:32 |
A beatnik bar. |
| 00:56:33 |
You can get carrot juice or Italian coffee |
| 00:56:37 |
Well, none of them quite fit in. |
| 00:56:39 |
You'd love it. |
| 00:56:41 |
Come there with me. |
| 00:56:43 |
There's a marathon poetry-reading |
| 00:56:46 |
- It's marvelous! |
| 00:56:50 |
Well, this year, if it's good, |
| 00:56:57 |
My, it certainly is beautiful. |
| 00:57:00 |
The people... |
| 00:57:02 |
...look like ants. |
| 00:57:04 |
The Hindus, and the beatniks also, |
| 00:57:08 |
...in our next lives some of us |
| 00:57:11 |
Some will be butterflies, others will be |
| 00:57:16 |
What a beautiful thought. |
| 00:57:17 |
What do you think you were |
| 00:57:21 |
Oh, I don't know. |
| 00:57:24 |
Maybe I was just... |
| 00:57:26 |
...a fast-talking career gal |
| 00:57:30 |
Oh, no, Amy. |
| 00:57:31 |
Pardon me for saying so, |
| 00:57:34 |
- There really is something I must tell you. |
| 00:57:38 |
I find it more likely that you were... |
| 00:57:42 |
...a gazelle... |
| 00:57:44 |
...with long, graceful legs, |
| 00:57:49 |
Perhaps we met once. |
| 00:57:51 |
A chance encounter in a forest glade. |
| 00:57:56 |
I must have been an antelope or an ibex. |
| 00:58:00 |
The times we must've had |
| 00:58:04 |
...snorfling water |
| 00:58:07 |
...picking the grubs and burrs |
| 00:58:14 |
Or perhaps we simply touched horns |
| 00:58:20 |
Oh, I wish it were that simple, Norville. |
| 00:58:24 |
I wish I was still a gazelle |
| 00:58:29 |
...or an ibex. |
| 00:58:35 |
Can I at least call you... |
| 00:58:37 |
...deer? |
| 00:58:41 |
You're funny. |
| 00:58:42 |
Seriously, Amy, it's what |
| 00:58:45 |
Karma. |
| 00:58:46 |
The great circle of life, death and rebirth. |
| 00:58:50 |
I think I heard of that. |
| 00:58:53 |
That's it. A great wheel |
| 00:58:58 |
I've go to show Sid and all the guys |
| 00:59:02 |
Tomorrow's my big presentation |
| 00:59:06 |
Kiss me, Amy! |
| 00:59:08 |
Kiss me once for luck. |
| 00:59:11 |
Sure, Norville. |
| 00:59:54 |
You know, for kids! |
| 00:59:55 |
It has economy, simplicity, low |
| 00:59:59 |
All that spells out great profitability. |
| 01:00:02 |
I had the boys at R&D |
| 00:00:02 |
It has economy, simplicity, low |
| 00:00:06 |
All that spells out great profitability. |
| 00:00:08 |
I had the boys at R&D |
| 00:00:11 |
...so our discussion |
| 00:00:13 |
...and to give you gentleman a firsthand |
| 00:00:17 |
It's fun, healthy, good exercise, |
| 00:00:21 |
We put a little sand inside |
| 00:00:24 |
The great part is we don't have |
| 00:00:30 |
- What if you tire before it's done? |
| 00:00:33 |
- Can more than one play? |
| 00:00:35 |
- Is it a game? |
| 00:00:37 |
- It better break eventually. |
| 00:00:39 |
- What if you tire before it's done? |
| 00:00:42 |
- Could we charge extra for them? |
| 00:00:45 |
- How do you know you're finished? |
| 00:00:47 |
- Is that a boy's model? |
| 00:00:50 |
- What if you tire before it's done? |
| 00:00:54 |
What the hell is it? |
| 00:00:56 |
Well, it's... |
| 00:01:02 |
Brilliant! |
| 00:01:05 |
Genius. |
| 00:01:07 |
It's exactly what Hudsucker Industry needs |
| 00:01:11 |
Even a blind man can tell you |
| 00:01:17 |
...this... |
| 00:01:19 |
Congratulations. |
| 00:01:20 |
You've outdone yourself. |
| 00:01:23 |
I'll recommend to the board |
| 00:01:27 |
...and that the... |
| 00:01:31 |
...dingus be mass-produced |
| 00:01:34 |
Although, you realize... |
| 00:01:36 |
...of course... |
| 00:01:40 |
...as president... |
| 00:01:42 |
...the ultimate decision is yours. |
| 00:01:45 |
I'm for it. |
| 00:02:35 |
The Flying Doughnut! |
| 00:02:37 |
- The Dancing Dingus! |
| 00:02:39 |
The Swingerina! |
| 00:02:40 |
The Wacky Circumference! |
| 00:02:42 |
Uncle Midriff! |
| 00:03:15 |
- We need something short! |
| 00:03:16 |
Snappy! |
| 00:03:17 |
- With a little jazz! |
| 00:03:20 |
- The Hipster! |
| 00:04:03 |
- The Hoopsucker. |
| 00:04:05 |
- The Hoopsucker! |
| 00:04:07 |
- The Hoopsucker! |
| 00:04:37 |
- Fellas! |
| 00:04:41 |
I got something! |
| 00:07:55 |
Rockwell News presents: Tidbits of Time. |
| 00:08:00 |
World news in pictures, we kid you not! |
| 00:08:03 |
As Old Man 1958 hobbles |
| 00:08:06 |
... Barnes is the name |
| 00:08:09 |
Norville Barnes, young president |
| 00:08:13 |
... a boy bred in the heartland, |
| 00:08:17 |
Barnes is the brainy inventor of America's |
| 00:08:22 |
Reaping huge profits for his company |
| 00:08:26 |
... and hips of every youngster in America! |
| 00:08:30 |
Did I say youngster? |
| 00:08:32 |
Here's Mom taking a break |
| 00:08:35 |
... and even Dad is swinging into the act! |
| 00:08:39 |
Cards, letters, congratulations come |
| 00:08:45 |
... including one very special |
| 00:08:48 |
He's on! He's on the line! |
| 00:08:57 |
Hello, Norville. This is the President. |
| 00:08:59 |
I just wanted to congratulate you. |
| 00:09:04 |
Mrs. Eisenhower is very proud of you. |
| 00:09:06 |
The American people |
| 00:09:16 |
How'd you come up with the idea |
| 00:09:19 |
It was no great idea, really. |
| 00:09:21 |
A thing like this takes a whole company |
| 00:09:25 |
Did you have any idea |
| 00:09:28 |
Frankly, I don't think anybody |
| 00:09:33 |
"Hoopla on the Hula Hoop." |
| 00:09:37 |
Sure, I guess. |
| 00:09:39 |
Will you give yourself a nice, fat raise? |
| 00:09:43 |
Come on, you guys. |
| 00:09:52 |
What scientific principle explains |
| 00:09:56 |
The dingus is quite simple, really. |
| 00:09:59 |
It operates on the same principles that |
| 00:10:03 |
... and that keeps you from flying off |
| 00:10:08 |
... where you would die |
| 00:10:10 |
Yes, the principle is the same... |
| 00:10:13 |
... except for the piece of grit |
| 00:10:18 |
... more pleasant. |
| 00:10:19 |
Yes, it's hula-hula everywhere! |
| 00:10:22 |
From the parties of the Park Avenue |
| 00:10:28 |
... to sweethearts who want |
| 00:10:36 |
Did the board consider you an "Idea Man" |
| 00:10:39 |
I guess. I don't think they promoted me |
| 00:10:43 |
What's the next big idea for you |
| 00:10:46 |
I don't know. An idea like this sweet baby |
| 00:10:50 |
Although, I'll tell you one thing: |
| 00:10:55 |
You can quote me on that. |
| 00:11:04 |
Rumpus Magazine has called you |
| 00:11:07 |
And society pages have been linking you |
| 00:11:10 |
There's no truth to the rumors. |
| 00:11:22 |
How do you respond to the charges that |
| 00:11:26 |
Not at all. Just this week I came up |
| 00:11:30 |
A larger model Hula Hoop for the portly, |
| 00:11:35 |
A model with extra sand |
| 00:11:37 |
I'm earning my keep. |
| 00:11:39 |
Speaking of that, |
| 00:11:42 |
By anyone's account I single-handedly |
| 00:11:46 |
Our stock is worth more now than ever. |
| 00:12:11 |
Pull yourself together, man. |
| 00:12:13 |
Nobody told me! |
| 00:12:15 |
You sold all our stock? |
| 00:12:18 |
We dumped the whole load. |
| 00:12:19 |
I had 20,000 shares! |
| 00:12:23 |
I'd be a millionaire now! |
| 00:12:24 |
Sure. We'd all be millionaires. |
| 00:12:27 |
There's no point in looking back. |
| 00:12:30 |
At the time, Stillson thought that dumping |
| 00:12:34 |
...further depress the stock. |
| 00:12:36 |
Then we could buy it back and more, |
| 00:12:40 |
Cheap? |
| 00:12:41 |
It's never been more valuable! |
| 00:12:45 |
And I'm ruined. |
| 00:12:47 |
Ruined! |
| 00:12:55 |
I'm getting off this merry-go-round! |
| 00:13:09 |
Plexiglass. |
| 00:13:10 |
Had it installed last week. |
| 00:13:26 |
So, the kid caught a wave. |
| 00:13:30 |
Right now, he and his dingus are on top. |
| 00:13:34 |
Well, this too shall pass. |
| 00:13:36 |
Myrtle J. Mussburger |
| 00:13:40 |
...knock-kneed at the first sign of adversity. |
| 00:13:43 |
I say, we made this chump, |
| 00:13:47 |
I say, the higher he climbs, |
| 00:13:51 |
I say, yes... |
| 00:13:53 |
...the kid has a future... |
| 00:13:56 |
...and in it... |
| 00:13:59 |
...I see shame, dishonor... |
| 00:14:01 |
...ignominy, disgrace. |
| 00:14:07 |
The music plays, the wheel turns... |
| 00:14:11 |
...and our spin ain't over yet. |
| 00:14:37 |
For Pete's sakes, Norville! |
| 00:14:40 |
Where have you been hiding? |
| 00:14:42 |
Do you know what those nincompoops |
| 00:14:45 |
I wouldn't call them nincompoops. |
| 00:14:47 |
They're going to discharge 8%% |
| 00:14:49 |
In New York City alone, |
| 00:14:52 |
People with wives, children and families! |
| 00:14:55 |
We're pruning away |
| 00:14:57 |
You mean you know about this? |
| 00:15:00 |
Know about it? Sure. |
| 00:15:01 |
You think the board would do anything |
| 00:15:04 |
It was my idea. |
| 00:15:06 |
- Your... |
| 00:15:07 |
We're in a period of transition. |
| 00:15:10 |
You're being awfully kind to yourself, |
| 00:15:13 |
You've slowed down, sitting up here |
| 00:15:17 |
You haven't come up with an idea since |
| 00:15:22 |
You've forgotten what made your ideas |
| 00:15:25 |
It wasn't for the fame and wealth... |
| 00:15:27 |
Would you get out of here? |
| 00:15:33 |
I've been watching you, even though |
| 00:15:37 |
Shut up! |
| 00:15:37 |
Don't think I haven't noticed |
| 00:15:40 |
I used to think you were a swell guy. |
| 00:15:42 |
To be honest, |
| 00:15:44 |
Shut up! |
| 00:15:45 |
Then I figured out you were a swell guy. |
| 00:15:49 |
Maybe you're not so slow |
| 00:15:52 |
Looks like you're an imbecile, after all. |
| 00:15:55 |
You haven't talked to me for a week |
| 00:15:59 |
Look, I've never been... |
| 00:16:02 |
...dumped by a fella before, |
| 00:16:05 |
...but what really hurts is watching you |
| 00:16:08 |
Chasing after money and ease |
| 00:16:10 |
...that wouldn't give you the time of day... |
| 00:16:12 |
...if you... |
| 00:16:14 |
Worked in a watch factory? |
| 00:16:17 |
Shut up! Exactly. |
| 00:16:20 |
Norville, don't you remember |
| 00:16:24 |
You told me you'd bring a smile |
| 00:16:27 |
...regardless of race, creed or color. |
| 00:16:29 |
Finally, there'd be a thingamajig |
| 00:16:33 |
...even if it kept them apart spatially. |
| 00:16:36 |
"You know... |
| 00:16:38 |
"...for kids." |
| 00:16:39 |
Your words... |
| 00:16:42 |
...not mine. |
| 00:16:44 |
I used to love Norville Barnes. |
| 00:16:47 |
Yes, love him... |
| 00:16:49 |
...when he was just a swell kid |
| 00:16:54 |
Now your head's too big to be in over! |
| 00:16:56 |
Consider this my resignation. |
| 00:16:59 |
Effective immediately! |
| 00:18:21 |
Buddy, buddy. |
| 00:18:23 |
Buddy. |
| 00:18:25 |
Oh, buddy. |
| 00:18:37 |
Buddy. You busy? |
| 00:18:40 |
Looks like you nodded off there, buddy. |
| 00:18:47 |
Is this important? |
| 00:18:48 |
I think so. It's this little idea |
| 00:18:52 |
You see, I don't intend |
| 00:18:54 |
Take a look at this sweet baby! |
| 00:18:56 |
Get it? Incredibly convenient, isn't it? |
| 00:18:59 |
You know, for drinks? |
| 00:19:00 |
This is how it works. It's got these ridges |
| 00:19:04 |
You don't have to drink like this. |
| 00:19:08 |
I call it the "Buzz-Sucker." |
| 00:19:11 |
People are dying for this and |
| 00:19:15 |
Wait a minute. |
| 00:19:31 |
This... |
| 00:19:35 |
...is worthless! |
| 00:19:37 |
But, buddy! |
| 00:19:38 |
This is the most idiotic thing |
| 00:19:41 |
Nobody wants a hair-brained product |
| 00:19:44 |
You see, Buzz... |
| 00:19:45 |
...it lacks the creative spark... |
| 00:19:47 |
...the unalloyed genius |
| 00:19:51 |
...the Hula Hoop such a success. |
| 00:19:53 |
How dare you barge in here |
| 00:19:55 |
I've got a company to run! |
| 00:19:59 |
I can't have every deadbeat |
| 00:20:02 |
...with their idiotic brainwaves. |
| 00:20:04 |
I'm sorry, buddy. |
| 00:20:05 |
An example must be made! |
| 00:20:07 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:20:09 |
You're fired! |
| 00:20:11 |
Is that plain enough for you? |
| 00:20:19 |
Oh, buddy! |
| 00:20:21 |
And don't call me "buddy"! |
| 00:20:23 |
Oh, please, sir! This job running |
| 00:20:28 |
It's okay if you don't like the Buzz-Sucker! |
| 00:20:30 |
Just let me keep my job, |
| 00:20:34 |
Get out of my office! |
| 00:20:35 |
Get up! Up! |
| 00:20:38 |
We don't crawl here |
| 00:20:42 |
I'm sorry, sir! |
| 00:20:44 |
I'm sorry! |
| 00:20:59 |
Thank you, Aloysius. |
| 00:21:06 |
This is... |
| 00:21:09 |
...useful. |
| 00:21:28 |
I'm sorry I'm late, Sid. That back nine |
| 00:21:34 |
It's a tough course. A real lollapalooza. |
| 00:21:38 |
Sit down, son. |
| 00:21:43 |
I thought the boardroom would be |
| 00:21:48 |
Seems we've got some security problems |
| 00:21:52 |
You don't say. |
| 00:21:53 |
Ordinarily, I wouldn't bother you with it, |
| 00:21:59 |
It concerns you directly. |
| 00:22:02 |
- How's that? |
| 00:22:05 |
Some elevator boy that you'd fired |
| 00:22:08 |
...claiming that you'd stolen |
| 00:22:12 |
You'd stolen it from him. |
| 00:22:17 |
- Maybe I was a little rough on him... |
| 00:22:20 |
You don't have to explain to me. |
| 00:22:23 |
Fire whoever you want. |
| 00:22:27 |
No, the problem is... |
| 00:22:29 |
...who you hired. |
| 00:22:31 |
That dame. |
| 00:22:33 |
A spy, as it turns out. |
| 00:22:35 |
She must have gotten |
| 00:22:39 |
...and her paper is going to town. |
| 00:22:42 |
Sure, sure, we tried to kill the story, |
| 00:22:48 |
The problem the board will have is |
| 00:22:52 |
...and you kept her on... |
| 00:22:54 |
...while she was making |
| 00:22:57 |
Serious error in judgement. |
| 00:23:00 |
Business is war, kid. |
| 00:23:03 |
Take no prisoners, give no second chances. |
| 00:23:09 |
When the board meets after New Year's... |
| 00:23:12 |
...your position... |
| 00:23:16 |
Looks like you're finished. |
| 00:23:19 |
Washed up. |
| 00:23:25 |
Fourteenth hole at Riverdale... |
| 00:23:28 |
...some use a mashie... |
| 00:23:30 |
...some use a niblick. |
| 00:23:32 |
Niblick. |
| 00:23:34 |
You get more loft, more backspin. |
| 00:23:41 |
That dame... |
| 00:23:43 |
...she got your throat pretty well slit. |
| 00:23:47 |
When you're dead, you stay dead. |
| 00:23:50 |
You don't believe me, |
| 00:23:55 |
Tough luck, kid. |
| 00:23:57 |
You had a short climb up. |
| 00:23:59 |
It's a long way down. |
| 00:24:14 |
- You can't print that! |
| 00:24:18 |
And she's dynamite! |
| 00:24:20 |
But it's the bunk! Norville showed me his |
| 00:24:24 |
Buzz couldn't have invented it. |
| 00:24:27 |
Aren't you a broken record? |
| 00:24:31 |
- Says who? |
| 00:24:34 |
Smith has a senior source |
| 00:24:37 |
I bet his initials are Sidney J. Mussburger. |
| 00:24:40 |
You lost it. You gone soft, |
| 00:24:42 |
Soft on the dummy from Dubuque. |
| 00:24:45 |
- Muncie. |
| 00:24:46 |
This story's hot and you're no longer |
| 00:24:50 |
The other papers won't have this |
| 00:24:53 |
Allemeinisher Zeitung, Le Figaro |
| 00:24:56 |
You're fools, both of you! |
| 00:25:00 |
Take a break. You worked hard on this. |
| 00:25:03 |
But it's passed you by |
| 00:25:08 |
You want slack... |
| 00:25:10 |
...l'll give you slack! |
| 00:25:11 |
You're not putting me out to pasture! |
| 00:25:17 |
Effective immediately! |
| 00:25:21 |
Soft. |
| 00:25:32 |
So, tell me... |
| 00:25:34 |
... why do you feel this woman |
| 00:25:39 |
What's the difference? |
| 00:25:40 |
The whole world, it seems, is against you? |
| 00:25:43 |
I don't know. |
| 00:25:45 |
Und the elevator boy... |
| 00:25:46 |
... Buzz, he too works against you? |
| 00:25:52 |
Classic. |
| 00:25:53 |
Patient displayed listlessness, apathy, |
| 00:25:57 |
...und was blue und mopey. |
| 00:25:59 |
When asked what the Rorschach stains |
| 00:26:03 |
"Nothing much. I don't know. |
| 00:26:08 |
Patient shows no ambition, |
| 00:26:11 |
He is riding the grand loopen-ze-loop... |
| 00:26:14 |
...that goes from the height |
| 00:26:17 |
...to the trough of despair. |
| 00:26:20 |
He is now near, |
| 00:26:23 |
When he reaches bottom, he may erupt |
| 00:26:27 |
...and others. |
| 00:26:29 |
Diagnosis, Dr. Bromfenbrenner? |
| 00:26:31 |
Patient is eine manic-depressive paranoid, |
| 00:26:34 |
...with acute schizoid tendencies. |
| 00:26:36 |
So, patient is...? |
| 00:26:40 |
Precisely. |
| 00:26:41 |
Nuts! |
| 00:26:43 |
Prescription? |
| 00:26:44 |
Three things: Commitment... |
| 00:26:47 |
...electroconvulsive therapy... |
| 00:26:49 |
...maintenance in eine secure facility. |
| 00:27:08 |
Yeah, he's a tall guy. A real mess. |
| 00:27:12 |
Look, you better get down here. |
| 00:27:15 |
He didn't say. |
| 00:27:27 |
I want a martini! |
| 00:27:29 |
It's New Year's Eve. I deserve a martini. |
| 00:27:32 |
It's like I've been telling you... |
| 00:27:34 |
I thought you served misfits here! |
| 00:27:36 |
That's a roger. But we don't sell alcohol. |
| 00:27:39 |
What kind of bar doesn't serve martinis? |
| 00:27:42 |
It's a juice-and-coffee bar, man, |
| 00:27:45 |
Right. So, I want... |
| 00:27:49 |
...a martini. |
| 00:27:51 |
I've had a martini in every bar |
| 00:27:54 |
Martinis are for squares, man. |
| 00:27:58 |
What'd you call me, you beatnik son of a... |
| 00:28:07 |
Look who's here: |
| 00:28:09 |
Amy Archer... |
| 00:28:10 |
...Prizeter Pule winner. |
| 00:28:13 |
Looking for a nitwit to buy you lunch? |
| 00:28:16 |
- Bar fella, I'd like... |
| 00:28:19 |
...a martini, please. |
| 00:28:20 |
I tried to tell you so many times, I... |
| 00:28:24 |
It's hard to admit... |
| 00:28:26 |
...when you've been wrong. |
| 00:28:28 |
If you could just... |
| 00:28:30 |
...find it in your heart... |
| 00:28:33 |
...to give me another chance. |
| 00:28:37 |
"You take no prisoners, |
| 00:28:39 |
Please, Norville! |
| 00:28:43 |
And yourself, too! |
| 00:28:45 |
We both deserve one. |
| 00:28:47 |
Just give us a second chance. |
| 00:28:50 |
I know the last story was a lie |
| 00:28:55 |
- I can help you write it! |
| 00:28:58 |
I'm all washed up. |
| 00:29:01 |
Extinct. |
| 00:29:03 |
Homo sapiens sapicus. |
| 00:29:08 |
That just about does it. |
| 00:29:11 |
I've seen Norville Barnes, |
| 00:29:14 |
...and I've seen Norville Barnes, |
| 00:29:18 |
But I've never seen Norville Barnes, |
| 00:29:22 |
...and I don't like it. |
| 00:29:25 |
"Fight on |
| 00:29:27 |
"Fight on, dear old Muncie |
| 00:29:32 |
"Fight on |
| 00:29:36 |
"You'll be tattered, torn and hurting |
| 00:29:40 |
"Once the Munce is done with you |
| 00:29:46 |
"Go... |
| 00:29:48 |
"...Eagles!" |
| 00:29:52 |
You can't surrender, Norville! Remember: |
| 00:29:55 |
"Fight on |
| 00:29:57 |
"Fight on |
| 00:29:59 |
"Dear old Muncie |
| 00:30:02 |
"Fight on |
| 00:30:03 |
"Hoist the gold and blue |
| 00:30:08 |
"You'll be tattered, torn... |
| 00:30:10 |
"...and hurting..." |
| 00:30:14 |
You lied to me. |
| 00:30:16 |
How could you lie to me? |
| 00:30:20 |
You... |
| 00:30:21 |
...a Muncie girl. |
| 00:30:25 |
But, Norville, l... |
| 00:30:27 |
"When you're dead, you stay dead!" |
| 00:30:30 |
Just ask... |
| 00:30:31 |
...Waring Hudsucker! |
| 00:30:40 |
Extra, extra! |
| 00:30:42 |
New Year's Eve edition! |
| 00:30:44 |
Barnes' brain caught red-handed! |
| 00:30:46 |
Ideas ersatz! |
| 00:30:48 |
Man from Muncie a moron after all! |
| 00:30:51 |
Read all about it! |
| 00:30:53 |
New Year's Eve edition! |
| 00:30:58 |
You're not so slow, but you're not so swell. |
| 00:31:00 |
And it looks like you're an imbecile |
| 00:31:03 |
But your friends called you "dope?" |
| 00:31:06 |
"Dipstick?" "Lamebrain?" "Schmo?" |
| 00:31:08 |
Please, buddy, running the elevator, |
| 00:31:11 |
Norville, you let me down. |
| 00:31:13 |
You let Mrs. Eisenhower down. |
| 00:31:18 |
And when you're dead, you stay dead. |
| 00:31:24 |
The kid is screwy, it's official. |
| 00:31:28 |
The barred-window boys |
| 00:31:31 |
We'll see how Wall Street likes the news... |
| 00:31:33 |
...that the president of Hudsucker |
| 00:31:38 |
When Doc Bromfenbrenner gets through |
| 00:31:41 |
...he'll need diapers and a dribble cup. |
| 00:31:46 |
If that's all... |
| 00:31:47 |
Long live the Hud! |
| 00:31:59 |
Watch where you're... |
| 00:32:00 |
Hiya, buddy! |
| 00:32:03 |
Out on the town? Guess what? |
| 00:32:05 |
Mr... Sid says I can have my old job back! |
| 00:32:08 |
I deserve a second chance, he says. |
| 00:32:10 |
He did? |
| 00:32:11 |
Turns out he's not such a bad guy after all. |
| 00:32:14 |
That's wonderful. |
| 00:32:16 |
He said you stole that swell hoop idea |
| 00:32:20 |
I would never... |
| 00:32:21 |
Gee, that was a swell idea. |
| 00:32:24 |
And Sid says you stoled it! |
| 00:32:26 |
What are you waiting for? Pop him one! |
| 00:32:39 |
He's that big-shot faker! |
| 00:32:41 |
That Wall Street fraud! |
| 00:32:43 |
Nuttier than a fruitcake! |
| 00:32:46 |
Somebody call the cops! |
| 00:33:19 |
Ring out the old, ring in the new! |
| 00:38:04 |
Strictly speaking, I'm never supposed |
| 00:38:07 |
...but have you got a better idea? |
| 00:39:17 |
Love that tune. How you doing, kid? |
| 00:39:20 |
Mr. Hudsucker? |
| 00:39:23 |
How do you like that thing? |
| 00:39:26 |
It's a fad. |
| 00:39:27 |
Anyway... |
| 00:39:29 |
...I see you've been having some... |
| 00:39:30 |
...problems with the board. |
| 00:39:32 |
I guess Sidney's been putting |
| 00:39:35 |
Norville. |
| 00:39:37 |
Say what you like about his ethics, |
| 00:39:40 |
Beat you any way he can. |
| 00:39:43 |
Any particular reason you didn't give him |
| 00:39:47 |
Norman, just a dying man's last words |
| 00:39:52 |
I must've mislaid it. |
| 00:39:53 |
It's in your apron pocket, |
| 00:39:57 |
Imbecile. |
| 00:39:58 |
Failure to deliver a blue letter |
| 00:40:02 |
It's New Year's. I'm not going to add |
| 00:40:06 |
Want to read it? |
| 00:40:08 |
Might keep you from jumping |
| 00:40:17 |
"Blue letter from the desk |
| 00:40:21 |
"...to Sidney J. Mussburger, |
| 00:40:24 |
"Dear Sid: |
| 00:40:25 |
"By the time you read this, I will have |
| 00:40:29 |
"...an exciting new beginning. |
| 00:40:32 |
Memories. |
| 00:40:33 |
"Of the years you and I have spent..." |
| 00:40:37 |
Standard resignation boilerplate. |
| 00:40:46 |
"You will no doubt be wondering |
| 00:40:48 |
"...to end my tenure both at Hudsucker |
| 00:40:52 |
"From the standpoint of our balance sheet |
| 00:40:54 |
"...sure, we're doing fine. |
| 00:40:56 |
"But in my personal life, |
| 00:41:00 |
"I let my success become my identity. |
| 00:41:02 |
"I have foolishly played the great man... |
| 00:41:05 |
"...and watched my life become more |
| 00:41:08 |
"My vanity drove away she... |
| 00:41:11 |
"...who could've saved me. |
| 00:41:13 |
"Yes, I loved a woman once, Sid, |
| 00:41:17 |
"A beautiful, vibrant lady... |
| 00:41:19 |
"...and angel who, in her wisdom, |
| 00:41:30 |
Skip this part. |
| 00:41:34 |
Next page. Next page! |
| 00:41:46 |
"This brings me to our company, Sid, |
| 00:41:49 |
"Our next president must have the liberty |
| 00:41:53 |
"...to experiment and even fall..." |
| 00:41:55 |
Fail. |
| 00:41:55 |
"...without fear of the whims |
| 00:42:00 |
- "The new president must be free to fall..." |
| 00:42:03 |
"...and learn to fail..." |
| 00:42:04 |
Fall! |
| 00:42:05 |
"...and rise again by applying... |
| 00:42:07 |
"...what he has learned. |
| 00:42:09 |
"Such is business. |
| 00:42:10 |
"Such is life. |
| 00:42:13 |
"Accordingly, I hereby bequeath... |
| 00:42:15 |
"...all of my shares in Hudsucker Industry... |
| 00:42:18 |
"...to whomever you |
| 00:42:21 |
"...to succeed me as president. |
| 00:42:23 |
"I assume this will be you. |
| 00:42:25 |
"If not, if the board chooses someone else |
| 00:42:29 |
"...then, then..." |
| 00:42:30 |
Tough titty toenails! |
| 00:42:34 |
That'll show the bastard! |
| 00:42:45 |
Go ahead. |
| 00:42:46 |
"I urge you to work |
| 00:42:48 |
"...and to remind him when he needs |
| 00:42:51 |
"...that failure should never lead |
| 00:42:55 |
"Despair looks only to the past... |
| 00:42:58 |
"...in business... |
| 00:43:02 |
"...and in love." |
| 00:43:04 |
The future is now. |
| 00:43:06 |
"The future is now. |
| 00:43:09 |
"When our future president needs it... |
| 00:43:12 |
"...Waring Hudsucker... |
| 00:43:14 |
"...hereby bequeaths him... |
| 00:43:17 |
"...his second chance." |
| 00:43:51 |
Deliver that letter in the morning! |
| 00:44:54 |
And so began 1959. |
| 00:44:57 |
The New Year. |
| 00:44:59 |
When he learned that Norville owned |
| 00:45:04 |
It's a good thing Doc Bromfenbrenner |
| 00:45:08 |
... because he was able to keep Sidney |
| 00:45:12 |
He prescribed a long rest in the sana... |
| 00:45:16 |
In the booby hatch. |
| 00:45:18 |
Now, Norville... |
| 00:45:20 |
... he went on and ruled |
| 00:45:24 |
... and started dreaming up |
| 00:45:28 |
You know, for kids. |
| 00:45:30 |
I had the boys down at R&D |
| 00:45:33 |
...so our discussion could have focus... |
| 00:45:35 |
...and to give you gentlemen of the board |
| 00:45:43 |
That's the story of how Norville Barnes |
| 00:45:47 |
... to the 44th floor |
| 00:45:51 |
... and then fell all the way down, |
| 00:45:56 |
You know, they say there was a man |
| 00:46:00 |
But that's another story. |
